THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
![[Powered by Blogger]](http://buttons.blogger.com/bloggerbutton1.gif){kind=small}
Okay folks, who does this remind you of? The prime minister of a second-rate European nation? Some high-ranking hazy lazy bureaucrat in the League of Nations? Or maybe the president of Belarus? No, no and no: this is only the fifth or sixth most important man in the universe, and possibly ranking ahead of OUR president -- he's PhEEEELEEPE DoughMAHHHHHHHHN, the head of that eternal advertiser crush, SUMNER'S VIACON DIVISION! Of course he's less powerful than SUMNER Himself, as this guy will learn when he's fired. Remember those antioxidants!
If only we had connections, and Photoshop, and the wizardry to use Photoshop, we could devote a whole Web site to a Borat-like fake history of the man -- and we'd wager if someone did that right it could fool some underling of ED MURROW or ERIC SEVAREID. Wouldn't it be just and wouldn't it be just delicious to have Them fall for a hoax!