THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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CHOKE!! CHOKE!!
OR:
Wondering if you can still be a global icon if the Internet is cluttered with jokes about your performance during the NBA Finals.
Favorite: Asked LeBron James for change for a dollar, but he didn’t have the fourth quarter.
A close second: Did you hear McDonald’s is serving up McBrons? Eat it during the fourth quarter and you’re guaranteed to choke!
Yes, it’s come to this for The King, and it truly would be a shame except for how satisfying it is to just about anyone not aligned with the Miami Heat.
Indeed.