Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

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Sunday, July 17, 2011

Posted 5:03 PM by Gene

Now that news hacks are happy again today I just thought up something stupid Mr. Bew-KES could do: Pay ROWLINGCORP in PEOPLE WARNER PREFERRED STOCK to continue the series! There's no other way He could do it. Three or four billion, with further payments if the company turns out more novels. Maybe He isn't that stupid but reports this was another 3D fizzle despite its ALL-TIME!!!!!!!!!! GROSSES!!!!!!!!!! say the former Citibank "account officer" could do it, in keeping with His training.

Scott, being a good GanNETToid, saves the bad news for last:

[T]he year remains 7% behind 2010 in revenues, 9% in attendance.

Barring the answer of news hacks' -- prayers? it seems this year will not avoid ignominy, and we hope for more of it once the ALL-TIME!!!!!!!!!! GROSSES!!!!!!!!!! fade.

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