Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

Another predictable pancake: The folks at Daimler Corp. spent $14 million on the Canadian screecher Celine Dion so the senior executives could terrify their subordinates with "I KNOW CELINE DION AND YOU DON'T!!!!!" WELL, wouldn't you know, not only did Celine not sell the cars, but in what must be an extraordinary ego buster for her, HER AUDIENCE SKEWED OLD. Combined with its cretinous ad for Dodge penises -- er, SUVs Daimler proves the Clunker Brothers don't want to move product, they want to waste money and kiss celebrities' behinds.

If I were one of those UAW members whose job stands or falls by the executives' actions I wouldn't be too happy right now.

And speaking of Clunker Brothers, let's see how this little act by one of its Japanese units hurts sales. OR: "[The company's idiot marketing chief] said his team saw the video's script before production, and although it wasn't that detailed, [the company] had a 'good idea of what the video would be. We didn't think we were taking a big risk.'" Translated: we prayed -- except we didn't know how.

P. S. The Daimler fiasco's so overpowering the CHEHRMANS are forming A TASK FORCE, comprised in part of four Dodge dealers, which tells me the penises may not be moving either. If this is their idea of fixing sales they've got a long fix coming -- especially as Mercedes' quality standards have taken a nosedive since the "merger."