Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

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Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

Buzz T. Newhouse (or rather his friend Howard "Artie Stole My Job" Stern) asks, what sort of parents would let their child sleep with a suspected molester? Words like "blackmail" come to mind (and "posterity," as Buzz no doubt edited thousands of rave reviews and puff pieces for WACKO at EWWWWWWWWWWWW, and Newhouse would probably react with one of his "cranky" moods if you asked about them). But no one held a gun to WACKO's head when he dangled the baby, and no one held a gun to WACKO's head when he veiled his kids, and no one held a gun to WACKO's head when he slept with kids, however "innocently." In the end, WACKO's story is about a one-man publicity stunt gone out of control. That and belts.

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