Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Monday, April 05, 2004

    Posted 5:03 PM by Gene

    Given the number of stories you've missed (I'm thinking of the ROBERTS-BARONS' takeover of the universe, which you have YET to MENTION) and your many false alarms (remember when HILLARY RAN FOR PRESIDENT? or DIPPITY-DO's BIMBO ERUPTION?) I'd advise a little patience. Just because somebody's typing in a blackout to sounds of boom does NOT make it news.

    But who needs patience when you get 18 BILLION QUINTAZILLION HITS A MICROSECOND?

    And need I say my confidence doesn't go WAY UP when the man who screamed ARAFAT SERAIT MORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! acts as your megaphone? And I know what else is happening: thanks to you and lgf this story is going around in a VAST CIRCULAR REFERENCE with NO MEANS OF CONFIRMATION. IF THIS IS WHAT THE BRAVE NEW WORLD OF NEWS BY BLOG IS I'LL STICK WITH NEWS HACKS.

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