THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Set aside the question of whether The Times should have stated its figures higher and more completely in the piece. (No, let's not set it aside: Caesar's wife should speak early and loudly.) There's another issue rolling around all these numbers - namely, numbers. Do you have any idea which of the figures I've cited, all of them accurate, are meaningful?
Neither do I.
This would be an astonishing admission if it came from someone other than THE PUBLIC EDI-TOR of THE PAPER OF RE-CORD. Why should we believe ANY statistics you print? After all, we learned yesterday of THE TREMENDOUS UPRISING OF BRAVE SOLDIERS AGAINST OUR WAR, and if you can spin a story with mere words, your heads (and the heads of ALL NEWS HACKS) must practically FLY OFF THEIR TORSOS when you use NUMBERS. Why then, MR. PUBLIC EDI-TOR, should we believe ANYTHING YOU SAY, WITH OR WITHOUT NUMBERS, especially when your GOD's objectives are to RULE AS MANY UNIVERSES AS HE CAN, and MAKE AS MUCH MONEY AS HE CAN?