Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Saturday, December 31, 2005

Posted 1:18 PM by Gene

And now it's time for our NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR AWARD. Many many hacks were eligible in 2005; they all but stumbled one over another to get out the best blurbs, the best shills, the best at making their readers tear out their hair and renounce literacy. Yes, it has been a hard fought campaign, but in the end, only one NEWS HACK can claim the prize, and this year, we PROUDLY present it to a man who combined the best of press agentry with the best in conflicts of interests, who knew he had to SELL AT ANY COST, who has known no better feeling than to be an ORGANIZATION MAN, and a man of RAGING SYNERGY; and SO, in the name of ALL that SELLS, we PROUDLY PRESENT the NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR AWARD TO...

DICK SCHICK!

Congratulations, DICK! May your year be -- RICH with NEUHARTHISMS!

We know ours will be.

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