Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Monday, March 27, 2006

    Posted 9:46 AM by Gene

    Not long ago I came up with a brilliant idea: someone should make a stage musical out of XANADU!

    I SHOULD SUE!

    It's being directed by a man named BEANE -- who gave us ALL SHOOK UP!!!!!

    AND

    The Smell of the Kill [Peeeeeeeee-U!], Voices in the Dark [hearing things?], Princesses, As Thousands Cheers [SIC], The Country Club, Rude Entertainment [!!!!!!!!!!], The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told [??????????], Jeffrey, Blown Sideways Through Life, Fires in the Mirror, Bunny Bunny and Das Barbecu.

    So -- we're in a for a RUDE BARBECUE, THE MOST FABULOUS STORY EVER TOLD, AS THOUSANDS CHEERS -- while the audience gets BLOWN SIDEWAYS!

    JEFFREY!!!!!!!!!!

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