THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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P. S. USAOKAY!!!!!.com is upset; it's calling him LEGENDARY (home page only; they have the same Bob "The Stenographer" Thomas piece, which amazingly doesn't use the word). But then not much upsets a news hack other than a Republican in the White House, and America winning a war.
P. P. S. The MESS is upset too; it's calling him an "innovator." What did he innovate? Jiggle?
A puzzlement: he produced 3,000 TV shows, a record we hope stands forever. (So says the home-page squib; it's not in the story.) But during the war he was "[w]ounded by a sniper's bullet" and "was decorated with a Bronze Star Medal and a Purple Heart with oak-leaf cluster." Go figure it was the same man.