Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Thursday, September 21, 2006

    Posted 1:41 PM by Gene

    We hate wasting our time on the guy, but Romy noticed that Sirius employee B. S. DEFENDER went, er, ape. "HA! RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!! EMPLOYS A RADIO CONSULTANT!! GOTCHA!!!!!" We suspected that piece was -- bull, considering the HUNDREDS of times RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! plugged the late King in His paper; and RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is nothing but for His (and his wage slaves') conflicts of interest; but while we would not want to guess about the late King's celebrity bookings, we would say (to the extent we can trust Alexa and Hitwise) his traffic is way down from the first of the year (and down from late 2004, not long after the site began in earnest; it was a placeholder before), as are search engine hits, and Artie's (whoever that is) movie did BOMB. Want more proof your God isn't working?

    Honest, I don't like exhumations. Let the King's corpse rest in peace; and shut up, B. S., and go back to gassing into a void about Facetime, or MeTube, or whatever your onanism of the moment.

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