Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

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Sunday, November 19, 2006

Posted 7:34 PM by Gene

What is more embarrassing than an old newsweekly? I was doing my laundry when by unfortunate accident I came across a copy from precisely one year ago of PEOPLE NEWSRAG, which had the typical newsrag two-by-four-on-a-mule stories: one supposedly on ambition that gave our editors an excuse to drop very big and sexy names; a plug by DICK "GUNS CAUSED COLUMBINE!!!!!" CORLISS on some movie about geishas or something which he and his bosses were SURE WOULD WIN THE OSCAR®!!!!!, and a plug by ER for THE ERIC SEVAREID OF COMEDY, and I thought, these IDIOTS who prop their feet on their desks at big salaries to insult their readers thought folks would READ this? And they wonder why their bosses just scalped their CIRC? One thing's clear -- it wasn't THEIR fault.

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