Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Monday, April 30, 2007
Posted
7:30 PM
by Gene
(Via InformationWeek, though we'd vaguely heard of it before -- and didn't care, and might even have gotten mad, figuring another Sharpton was raising money)
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7:26 PM
by Gene
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6:46 PM
by Gene
Henry Waxman looks like your accountant, but he acts more like a dog with a bone—the hard bone of truth. Alter has also been a contributing correspondent for NBC News, where he appears regularly on all NBC broadcasts including "TODAY," "NBC Nightly News," NBC News specials, MSNBC and CNBC. He can be heard frequently on the radio, including "IMUS IN THE MORNING".... [Truthful emphasis added] Hey Jonny! Is that bone of Hank's as hard as the gold coin between your teeth?
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6:43 PM
by Gene
Circuit City Expects Loss on Slow Sales Circuit City CEO Got $17.1M Last Year
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2:32 PM
by Gene
![]() We are sorry to hear that "Mr. Excitement", Tommy Newsom, has died. "I realize things have to end sometime," Newsom said at the time. "I felt regrets at it ending and there was a sense of relief in a way." But why can't they go on forever?
Posted
11:14 AM
by Gene
Sounds more like eBay to me -- and perhaps a little beneath. (Via ASSPress)
Posted
11:09 AM
by Gene
1. We intend to mark who will be there. 2. Will there be live TV? (Here's betting YES.)
Posted
9:37 AM
by Gene
I think they've shut off my Next Blog button again.
Posted
8:49 AM
by Gene
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8:47 AM
by Gene
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8:44 AM
by Gene
We have heard so many reliable allegations we don't know when to trust them. We should know better both ways. Sunday, April 29, 2007
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6:34 PM
by Gene
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12:19 PM
by Gene
The good news: People won't pay to see anything else.
Posted
10:22 AM
by Gene
Then there is Hagedorn's prose. In her acknowledgments she makes particular mention of the Wall Street Journal, "where I learned how to write well," a quite astonishing boast in and of itself but all the more so when one considers the more than 500 pages of evidence to the contrary. Hagedorn has never met a cliché she didn't like: "To many it meant that Bolshevists had struck the Pacific Northwest like lightning bolts, soon to cause the nation to burst into the flames of revolution," or "It was there that the rolling wave of hope from the Western Front met the rising tide of fear and intolerance back home," or "But that message had no lasting significance and fell like the leaves of autumn into a rushing river." Hagedorn, her publisher tells us, "has taught writing at Northwestern University's Medill School of Journalism and at Columbia University's Graduate School of Journalism." If that makes you wonder about the standards of literacy at the country's "best" schools of journalism, well, you are not alone. ? [SIC] Who put that question mark in there? Paul "UNFORGETTABLE" Farhi?
Posted
8:38 AM
by Gene
Okay, we all hate this war. But for the umpteenth time, how would you like a Taliban banner on our soil? Saturday, April 28, 2007
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8:45 PM
by Gene
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7:25 PM
by Gene
"If they were able to finish it by summer '45, then with a bit of luck, we could have been ready in winter '44-45." One thing's sure: people wouldn't have said how EVIL we were for using the bomb first.
Posted
4:59 PM
by Gene
Way to go, Babbitts! Now you've shown the rich can eviscerate our cities just as easily as the poor!
Posted
4:46 PM
by Gene
Hell JACK had an MBA from Harvard and look what HE did.
Posted
4:26 PM
by Gene
I put on my swami hat and think we've come up with another reason the sooner Little Jeffy spins off Goodthings Entertainment, the better.
Posted
1:16 PM
by Gene
Just so long as it looks as if we've done something.
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1:15 PM
by Gene
Gen. McClellan comes to mind -- and we are being kind.
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12:52 PM
by Gene
One thing is clear: many of those who start these scares didn't need cell phones to fry their brains.
Posted
12:45 PM
by Gene
Ths, ladies and gentlemen, is the genius that made a media zillionaire.
Posted
12:40 PM
by Gene
I can't help but recall the footrace in "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" that was judged by a dodo: "There was no 'One, two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked . . . At last the Dodo said, 'EVERYBODY has won, and all must have prizes.'" (Via About Last Night)
Posted
12:18 PM
by Gene
SHUT UP, LENNY! P. S. Slavery lasted a long time too, and it worked very well for the South -- if it worked. A tear-stained NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to MIKE! And a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to LENNY for telling us Matt used to be one of JACK'S underlings!
Posted
9:07 AM
by Gene
Liberals frown on the misbehavior of -- Democrats?!?!?
Posted
9:03 AM
by Gene
I'm surprised.
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8:52 AM
by Gene
Several former Mets said they remember referring to Radomski as "Murdoch," after the owner of a newspaper known to exaggerate. [Emphasis added] Long after he was gone from the Mets, when someone would tell a dubious story in the clubhouse, listeners would say, "That's a Murdoch!" NYUK! NYUK! NYUK! Friday, April 27, 2007
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7:57 PM
by Gene
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5:16 PM
by Gene
Accents don't count. Unfortunately Dubya has her beaten -- he can speak English and Spanish badly. Can Hillary do that? (Sorry for the NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!)
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2:54 PM
by Gene
And guess which parts the Citigroup "analysts" want to spin off? Show-biz and real estate -- and consumer finance! We ask again: what is GE BANCORP's purpose other than being big and unwieldy, and generating lots of bad PR? ``As bad as it sounds to say, our earnings have grown into the stock price,'' Immelt said. ``Maybe we were too highly valued on the future. We are not today.'' LEGENDARY WELCH WOULD FIRE YOU!
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2:41 PM
by Gene
“WE WILL NEVER FORGET THE ROLE OF THE FBI IN McCARTHYISM!!!!!!!!!!” screamed Michael A. Gould-Wartofsky ’07, who is also a Crimson editorial editor. [Overemphasis added] ...and a future managing editor of THE PAPER OF RE-CORD! (Via the usual Romy, who was doing a little fist-in-the-air calisthenics himself)
Posted
12:32 PM
by Gene
Go, St. JoePa! Your players won't. There was drinking, too. Good preparation! Residents of the apartment received a letter a few days after the fight that asked them to drop the charges, Mahon said. It was signed, "The Voice of the Penn State Student Body." Sounds like the voice of the Penn State Alumni Association to me!
Posted
10:39 AM
by Gene
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. - A project that aims to deliver low-priced laptops with string pulleys to the world's poorest children may have a new market: U.S. schools. The nonprofit "One Laptop per Child" project said Thursday it might sell versions of its kid-friendly laptops in the United States, reversing its previous position of only distributing them to the poorest nations. What about all the millions of perfectly good computers businesses throw out every year?
Posted
10:22 AM
by Gene
This, we would repeat for the 27,398th time, has NOTHING to do with outfits like TRIBCO crawling into a financial cave. (Via the usual Romy)
Posted
10:00 AM
by Gene
Chill out, dudes. Fifteen months left before you can inflict a candidate on us.
Posted
9:44 AM
by Gene
Nnthe nnbest nnthat nnyou nncnn nndoo? Sci-fi buffs everywhere will be disappointed.
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9:35 AM
by Gene
SOMEBODY'S RUNNING FOR -- never mind.
Posted
9:17 AM
by Gene
Reports: Saudi police arrest 172 militants in anti-terror sweep How many thousands left? More excellent news: they were learning to fly! Whiny! Babs! We DON'T have to worry about terrorism any more!
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9:12 AM
by Gene
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8:34 AM
by Gene
WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Commerce Department reports economic growth slowed to a 1.3 percent annual rate in the first quarter of 2007, its weakest performance in four years. DOW 14,000!
Posted
8:20 AM
by Gene
![]() One of the greatest victims of Soviet communism was the arts, and perhaps the greatest victim of all the arts was music. Civilized men should never forget Stalin's hideous edict of 1948 blackballing the leading Russian composers of his day, most fearsomely Prokofiev, who was so shattered neither his health nor his music ever recovered. For the Russians it is a double curse because their musical culture, in so many ways, was the most outstanding of all, with a gift of melody and love of harmony that perhaps only the Viennese ever equaled, and an undying quest for perfection. It is therefore sobering to think that the great cellist Mstislav Rostropovich, himself a gallant and uncompromising fighter for human rights -- and a fierce champion of Shostakovich, who was likewise blackballed -- may be the last well known Russian musical figure (unless some rock hack comes along -- unlikely). This realization makes us mourn ever more for the arts, the mourning exacerbated when in so many precincts it's marked with feverish cheering.
Posted
8:11 AM
by Gene
Liquor Louse: We're here with Jon Meacham, Evan Thomas, Howard Kurtz and Jeff Greenfield on the stunning death of a true hero, Jack Valenti. Jeff, you're a ni -- you're a lover.... Blithering Ninny: A lover of what? (with the oh-so-knowing, condescending, smug air of someone in on the joke, the joke being on the listeners, but who is nonetheless so brilliant you harbor the suspicion he thinks he's smarter than Liquor Louse too) Liquor Louse: You're a lover of -- greatness in men. Jeff, what made Jack such a great man? P. S. We see Jack asked for donations to a macular degeneration fund in his name. How fitting. P. P. S. Slashdot mourns: The man's dead, show some respect. Let's have a moment of silence in his honor. Oh... wait, my moment of silence is actually encrypted using DRM that I lost the license key for. I'd reverse engineer it but I don't want to get in trouble... Re:Now let's be nice (Score:5, Informative) by natrius (642724) <niran&niran,org> on Friday April 27, @12:04AM (#18895943) (http://niran.org/) Not only that, but since you're having this moment of silence in a public place, you'll be sued by John Cage for a public performance of 4'33" without his consent. P. P. P. S. Ten "giant"s and six "legendary"s -- maybe in the back of their empty-quonset-hut skulls the hacks know something. P. P. P. P. S. A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD to PAUL "UNFORGETTABLE" FARHI! Thursday, April 26, 2007
Posted
9:01 PM
by Gene
Okay Myles, when's the next big non-Blackberry related scandal?
Posted
8:55 PM
by Gene
In the fifties, Baughman tells us, when a large fire broke out near a Schenectady television station, its news manager told his reporters to call the Associated Press. And how does that differ from modern jernalism -- or blogging?
Posted
8:31 PM
by Gene
Posted
8:11 PM
by Gene
![]() Jack Valenti, who played such a big part in turning the movies into junk, has died. It is apt that that he died on the day after the feds proposed regulating violence in television. That alone is a repudiation of his alphabet soup, of the notion that we can ever trust industry types to police themselves. He will also of course be remembered for waking up to home video at the last second and his typically farsighted notion that "the VCR is to the American film producer and the American public as the Boston strangler is to the woman home alone", and for endearing himself to geeks with his subsequent jabber of DRM and his close friendship with the FBI; for talking of the Johnson White House as though he personally ran it (well, him and Bill Moyers); and for constantly dropping references to his friend Cicero in his speechmaking. In that pestilential Potomac swamp of pompous asses he was a pompous ass nonpareil, and his innumerable "friends" (much as two tarantulas are friends) were, like him, enemies of the people. Judging from how the hacks are playing it they appear to be almost as upset as with David Halberstam.
Posted
6:08 PM
by Gene
No, we're not surprised.
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5:40 PM
by Gene
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5:29 PM
by Gene
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1:18 PM
by Gene
That's okay, sez Whiny Reid and Speaker Babs; we'll just have a couple of hundred soldiers guard the table.
Posted
12:18 PM
by Gene
NEWS UPDATE: The dean of admissions at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology resigned today after 28 years at the school when it was confirmed that she "misrepresented her academic degrees" on her resume, according to a statement issued by MIT. Marilee Jones was perhaps the most prominent admissions director in the country and has spoken widely about combating the college admissions frenzy and restoring the joys of youth to young people obsessed with their resumes. ![]() If it can happen at MIT it can happen anywhere! Why now? (Link added 1:10 p.m.)
Posted
11:23 AM
by Gene
Here's a suggestion, Rom: you agree to pay people like The Flying Keyboard $30,000 a year and we'll agree to your brainstorm. NUF SAID.
Posted
10:37 AM
by Gene
This appears to be part of a new strategy of Dems and the hacks: to discredit Dubya by calling attention to that stupid campaign rally on the aircraft carrier. To which we say, you guys didn't care the last time you handed a mission accomplished to our enemies, nor do you much care this time. What planet do you live on? On the other hand, Dubya could have chosen another date -- but then the hacks would still be in the P-Ulitzer mode.
Posted
10:29 AM
by Gene
Hugh Grant Arrested in Alleged Baked Bean Attack There seem to be several ways to attack with baked beans, but we'll leave this hed as is. ![]() Have the boys who run THE GAMES thought of making baked-bean throwing a sport? Meanwhile, a police insider ponders how successful a prosecution may be over the alleged food-throwing incident. "The evidence may have been eaten," the source tells PEOPLE. That would be a problem.
Posted
10:25 AM
by Gene
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9:59 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:37 AM
by Gene
Really, most pols shouldn't tell jokes, certainly not a Senator who seems altogether too comfortable with his mouth; and as for the hacks, they shouldn't act as humor critics, they being the apex of witlessness.
Posted
9:25 AM
by Gene
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8:58 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:41 AM
by Gene
(Via ArtsJournal)
Posted
8:39 AM
by Gene
If you answered " Harry Reid," give yourself an A. And join the long list of senators of both parties who are ready for these two springtime exhibitions of ineptitude to end. You know, even though this is SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX, we're prepared to say he's right. P. S. at 11:57 a.m.: REPUBLICANS ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE EVER DESERVING OF BLAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep, this whatisit named Orr is the MS. TRAVERS of TNR.com. Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Posted
5:20 PM
by Gene
Hitachi Offering One-Terabyte Hard Drive AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!! More room for more sci-fi parodies!
Posted
5:18 PM
by Gene
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5:12 PM
by Gene
The public, in any case, is speaking.
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3:50 PM
by Gene
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3:36 PM
by Gene
22,900 POINTS TO GO!
Posted
3:28 PM
by Gene
We can safely say this redefines the notion of "has-been."
Posted
3:25 PM
by Gene
You wouldn't guess.
Posted
12:13 PM
by Gene
When hacks see themselves as "the great Hollywood stars" -- or even when they see their heroes as such -- we see what is wrong with JERNALISM. (Via the usual Romy, who has a little of Jimmy Cagney in him -- or so he thinks)
Posted
11:05 AM
by Gene
Is it any wonder these clowns always fight for as much face time as they don't deserve? Who thought these people could make Lucy look good?
Posted
11:00 AM
by Gene
OR DO HER FAVORITE SENATORS TALK LIKE THAT WHEN THEY'RE ON THE FLOOR? Elsewhere in America's Preeminent Con-SER-va-tive Web Site: In the U.S.A., a conservative approach to high culture—to art, music, and literature—equals The New Criterion. And in the U.S.A., a conservative approach to low culture equals -- never mind. P. S. at 5:11 p.m.: Has MS. TRAVERS ever thought of starting a blog for the Republican Party? When a con-ser-va-tive writer, or a liberal writer, or a tabloid paper, or anyone with an axe to grind, uses the word OUTRAGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!, a switch clicks off. Really, some words lose their meaning when some writers use them, even when an outrage happens, perhaps because language can always become an outrage.
Posted
10:50 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:03 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:42 AM
by Gene
The bad news: The Reverse Robin Hoods of MadAve will burn more of our money on Hollywood schmoozing than EVER!
Posted
8:24 AM
by Gene
Well! That's a relief. But a closer look at attitudes in Egypt and Pakistan, two of the countries surveyed, reveals a more nuanced perspective that also welcomes democracy and freedom of religion. So they're nuanced about wanting a caliphate where infidels get their heads lopped off! That's a relief too! Tuesday, April 24, 2007
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5:58 PM
by Gene
![]() America's Greatest Ex-Presidential Candidate poses a question: Who was the real loser of '72? Uh, you really want the answer? Which is not entirely true, of course -- thanks to the rout of two years later a few millions in Southeast Asia were real losers too. Want to get America's Greatest Ex-Presidential Candidate to shut his mouth? Say "Killing Fields"! And yes, Nixon was a loser too -- just a different kind.
Posted
5:52 PM
by Gene
I think the strategic conceit of creating new buzzwords and jargon to protect bureaucrats, consultants and ideologues is one of the more fascinating constants of the human condition (I think Vaclav Havel wrote a play on this and Orwell was obviously a hero in the battle against this sort of thing.). If you don't know the lingo, you're on the outside. But often the only thing that justifies you're outsider status is your ignorance of the lingo. Intellectuals, obviously, are the greatest culprits when it comes to using words as bouncers (I wrote a column about it here a long time ago)... ...and then at the last second shoots himself in the foot: ...but as we move deeper into the New Economy, it's only going to get worse. ...and someone notices: Update: From a reader: Subject: pot, kettle? "but as we move deeper into the New Economy..." Loved the disquisition on the hubris of buzzwords, but isn't "New Economy" a hollow buzz phrase too? Jo-NAH! B. S. DEFENDER! This buzzword's for YOU!
Posted
5:44 PM
by Gene
The following recall has been announced: -About 13,800 Coby-brand USB/MP3/CD boomboxes because they could start a fire if the off switch is not firmly in position while the unit is plugged into an electrical outlet. The company has received 18 reports of boxes overheating and causing minor property damage. Details: by phone at 800-524-9219; by Web at http://www.cobyusa.com/ or http://www.cpsc.gov . [sic] Nothing against Coby or the purchasers, but part of us has wanted to see a few boomboxes self-destruct -- and now a manufacturer has rather obliged.
Posted
5:39 PM
by Gene
America is run by screaming crybabies.
Posted
5:26 PM
by Gene
[S]urrender may be the keyword here. What, for instance, is this dismal rush to lower the national colors all the damned time? At times of real crisis and genuine emergency, such as the assault on our society that was mounted almost six years ago, some emotion could be pardoned. But even then, the signs of sickliness and foolishness were incipient (as in Billy Graham's disgusting sermon at the National Cathedral where he spoke of the victims being "called into eternity"). If we did this every time, the flag would spend its entire time drooping. One should express a decent sympathy for the families and friends of the murdered, a decent sympathy that ought to be accompanied by a decent reticence. Because Virginia Tech—alas for poor humanity—was a calamity with no implications beyond itself. In the meantime, and in expectation of rather stiffer challenges to our composure, we might practice nailing the colors to the mast rather than engaging in a permanent dress rehearsal for masochism and the lachrymose. P. S. THE NEW YORKER couldn't resist: SMOKED MOZZARELLA COMES THROUGH -- with TACO TALK!!!!! (See the URL) We will not read it. We would hope this time he came through with some sauce, so he can be laughed out of the profession -- or more likely, so America's Most Overrated Editor can nominate him for 15 National Magazine Awards.
Posted
5:19 PM
by Gene
Sorry, "editor", Ctrl+F5 (or as you must put it, "control-F5") does nothing. Neither does increasiong the font sizes, which renders the site even harder to read.
Posted
5:16 PM
by Gene
The hacks are breaking their own records for self-absorption.
Posted
11:57 AM
by Gene
The Sulzberger and Ochs families own Class B shares, which allow them to appoint nine of the company's 13 directors. Class A shareholders voted on the remaining four today. So there!
Posted
11:28 AM
by Gene
To which we say, Bob should have thought about it before he quit his prior job.
Posted
11:00 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:57 AM
by Gene
Monday, April 23, 2007
Posted
8:37 PM
by Gene
We've come to the point at which murderous psychopaths and TV news executives are of the same mind when it comes to human tragedy: It's a branding opportunity. "Students in general will also be declining all requests and contact from the media," the statement says. NO COMMENT. Thank you again, Romy! P. S. News » Nation ▪ Virginia Tech Shootings ▪ States ▪ Lotteries [Links above a story of another multiple murder] ▪ MORONS.
Posted
7:41 PM
by Gene
At this rate He may want to suspend His entire empire. It's deserving enough. Who needs them anyway?
Posted
6:34 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:56 PM
by Gene
We have a few sarcastic comments but we'll keep them to ourselves.
Posted
4:59 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:31 PM
by Gene
One would like to think this presages more such deals, but CEOs in luxury suites tell us better.
Posted
11:08 AM
by Gene
$15 million a year says nada. (Via the usual Romy)
Posted
11:01 AM
by Gene
YOU SAID IT, R. EMMETT!!!!!
Posted
10:46 AM
by Gene
Yep, "'Bill Moyers Journal' Back on PBS."
Posted
9:53 AM
by Gene
(Link at 10:05 a.m.)
Posted
9:42 AM
by Gene
GOOD! Comprenez-vous, Wall Street Journals? (Via MediaBistro)
Posted
9:37 AM
by Gene
WE DIDN'T THINK YOU HEARD THAT!!!!! But as such stories have gained in national stature, the network newscasts have lost their sense of proportion. In the Virginia shooting, 33 people died (including the shooter). By last Thursday, the nightly newscasts had accorded these killings 180 minutes of airtime—exceeding an entire week's worth of coverage of an Indonesian tsunami (156 min). On Tuesday, the story accounted for 96% of the combined news hole. This is what happens when cynics pull their we're-part-of-the-people gag. That accounts for much of the excess; the empty-one-upmanship accounts for the rest.
Posted
9:30 AM
by Gene
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Posted
8:37 PM
by Gene
Why do we suspect there's less difference here than meets the eye?
Posted
8:21 PM
by Gene
![]() Maybe if we hadn't done this sort of thing for oh, sixty years.... Even critic Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kansas, acknowledges that changes to advertising won't solve the obesity problem. But he told a recent Kaiser Family Foundation panel "advertising is a target ... one I think that we can address and move forward with quickly." Heck -- it worked!
Posted
12:43 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:37 AM
by Gene
I wouldn't hold my breath -- that's what they keep saying about Fidel.
Posted
11:35 AM
by Gene
He doesn't preach about helping the poor or aligning society with Christian values. Rather, he teaches that sin and the devil don't exist, and that his followers already are spiritually perfect. How does that differ from, say, SUMNER, or your top editors and academics?
Posted
10:30 AM
by Gene
![]() Um, does anyone other than DEVINS and DICK CORLISSES need convincing this isn't a SUPERMEGAPLATINUM AGE OF FILLUM? How revoltin': the immortal Barbara Stanwyck would be 100 this year. Why can't she be 21 again?
Posted
9:49 AM
by Gene
Amidst the veritable cosmic waves of drivel over this Moebius strip of a subject, no one has raised the question: Can America live with this violence? Who will be the first to say yes? Who will defend our culture of death? Who will say that death is tolerable compared to the alternatives? Who will say we cannot control ourselves, therefore we must accept death as the consequence? Not ONE writer has had the guts to face this topic squarely, choosing instead the "cold", meaningless platitudes of fake compassion, and the flailing for solace where none exists.
Posted
9:45 AM
by Gene
Bush defers to comedian at annual roast In wake of Va. Tech, president says it’s best that Rich Little do the jokes To be sure, we'd have chosen someone other than Rich to do the jokes, but then again, given our druthers, we'd have chosen someone other than Dubya to be the president.
Posted
9:43 AM
by Gene
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Posted
10:00 PM
by Gene
Goooooooooooooooooooooooosh!!!!!
Posted
9:41 PM
by Gene
A generation ago, the social critic Christopher Lasch diagnosed narcissism as the signal disorder of contemporary American culture. The cult of celebrity, the marketing of instant gratification, skepticism toward moral codes and the politics of victimhood were signs of a society regressing toward the infant stage. You don't have to buy Freud's explanation or Lasch's indictment, however, to see an immediate danger in the way we examine the lives of mass killers. Earnestly and honestly, detectives and journalists dig up apparent clues and weave them into a sort of explanation. In the days after Columbine, for example, Harris and Klebold emerged as alienated misfits in the jock culture of their suburban high school. We learned about their morbid taste in music and their violent video games. Largely missing, though, was the proper frame around the picture: the extreme narcissism that licensed these boys, in their minds, to murder their teachers and classmates. Something similar is now going on with Cho, whose florid writings and videos were an almanac of gripes. "I'm so lonely," he moped to a teacher, failing to mention that he often refused to answer even when people said hello. Of course he was lonely. In Holocaust studies, there is a school of thought that says to explain is to forgive. I won't go that far. But we must stop explaining killers on their terms. Minus the clear context of narcissism, the biographical details of these men can begin to look like a plausible chain of cause and effect--especially to other narcissists. And they don't need any more encouragement.
Posted
9:27 PM
by Gene
• The Sensitive Art of Marketing After a Tragedy Sensitive? P. S. Before that Zeitgeist's vice-president and show-biz publicity chief had this to say -- which we thankfully missed, lest it make us angry: If you were looking to build a case for the sheer pointlessness of 24-hour cable-news networks, Monday afternoon’s coverage of the mass shooting at Virginia Tech would’ve been a great place to start. And how pray tell, Devin, did the rest of your biz avoid pointlessness? Or did it? It’s a sly commentary on the surreality of movie violence—but viewed from another, more alarmist, perspective, one could just as easily bash it for glorifying bloodshed. Editor-pleasin' DEVIN wins a NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD -- and is an instant finalist for our annual honors! Go for it! We know you have adjectives and Machiavellianism to spare!
Posted
5:57 PM
by Gene
British Airways cut a cameo by Richard Branson from its in-flight version of the latest James Bond film and blurred out the tail fin of a Virgin Atlantic plane seen in the movie. We couldn't care less about Richard Branson, or British Airways, or James Bond, so why does this strike us as so typical of the little eenie-weenie-teeny-tiny vendettas big businessmen have that make them so popular with their customers?
Posted
5:54 PM
by Gene
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's administration said Friday it had stopped construction on a new execution chamber at San Quentin State Prison, a project whose secrecy angered Democratic lawmakers when they learned of it just last week. Why do we harbor the suspicion Ah-NULT would not execute even the most deserving thug just to look good for the media? Schwarzenegger Lets MTV 'Pimp' His Ride We can only hope Jo-NAH runs no more elbow thrusts for Ah-NULT for president.
Posted
4:15 PM
by Gene
[MOVIES ARE BETTER THAN EVER!!!!! overemphasis added] You wonder whether we'd better served by rumor than by the mix of bromides, salesmanship and flat-out BS that makes up the news biz. We can't do enough to put these frauds like GanNETt out of business.
Posted
1:46 PM
by Gene
Why not? It's as good a place as any.
Posted
1:41 PM
by Gene
At what point does setting an example become bureaucratic overkill?
Posted
1:38 PM
by Gene
And then maybe BUGMEISTER can donate His foundation money to the League of Nations to clean up the mess. He'll get it coming AND going!
Posted
1:22 PM
by Gene
And besides -- they're members of AN ACTORS' UNION.
Posted
12:28 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:20 PM
by Gene
Head of China's State-Backed Church Dies ...followed by: Fidel Castro Meets With Chinese Official
Posted
12:11 PM
by Gene
Will someone tell these bozos all these result in are reports nobody reads? Friday, April 20, 2007
Posted
7:56 PM
by Gene
Democrats Target Tax Break for ConocoPhillips, Tyson This "tax break for producing alternative energy" (peeeee-U!) was manufactured by Roy "The Gay Divorcée" Blunt, so obviously petulant Dems want to get back at him. But we should remember whenever Congresspoops pass pieces of -- legislation that give tax breaks for dubious causes they're merely getting back at the people.
Posted
6:45 PM
by Gene
The New York Times is Featured on ``Jeopardy!'' Week of April 23!!!!! [PINCHIAN overemphasis added] We would pose our own JEOPARDY!!!!!!!!!!-style question but PINCH has all the answers. (Via -- who else? Romy)
Posted
6:42 PM
by Gene
"I would argue, since 1994 with the Gingrich revolution, just take a look at Iraq, Venezuela, Katrina, what's gone down at Virginia Tech, Darfur, Imus. Take a look. This didn't happen accidentally, all these things," he said. ASK NOT -- oh. That's Obama's line. (Via Hotline On Call)
Posted
6:30 PM
by Gene
Heck THE CONSPIRACY's been flying for decades without fuel. Not to worry; we suspect we'll be hearing from those press ag -- REPORTERS flying on their own fumes quoting PAUL DRECK and citing ALL-TIME RECORD...you get the idea.
Posted
6:19 PM
by Gene
There's just one problem: Wall Street does not get embarrassed.
Posted
6:17 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:59 PM
by Gene
This has to be the WORST day for FREE EN-TER-PRISE since DICK GRASSO was persecuted!
Posted
1:57 PM
by Gene
Better still if you hadn't arrived.
Posted
10:11 AM
by Gene
This article by Jess Bravin in yesterday’s Wall Street Journal is a prime example.... The Wall Street Journal’s readers are entitled to better than this. Considering you have two knee-jerk papers which think they can sell for $500 a year online, and which flaunt and scorn their P-Ulitzers depending on their respective party lines, I believe their readers aren't.
Posted
10:02 AM
by Gene
Something does get news hacks mad! (Via the usual Romy) P. S. CNN's idiots have "banned" the video, no doubt because it's yesterday's news, and besides, there's the LOGO.
Posted
9:36 AM
by Gene
THE MASSACRE RALLY CONTINUES!!!!! Frauds.
Posted
9:34 AM
by Gene
Woulda, shoulda, coulda -- yes, I believe we've found another reason the hacks should shut up.
Posted
9:19 AM
by Gene
Ordinarily this would be laugh-out-loud colyumnist-self-parody funny but the more we encounter zillionaire pundits writing like this the less likely we are to laugh.
Posted
8:43 AM
by Gene
Look at it this way: If you don't lose circulation and ratings and revenues, someone else will.
Posted
8:39 AM
by Gene
President Obama? Meet Press Secretary Friedman! When does Jonny Hairshirt graduate to the grand position of blather his mentor Howie Hairshirt occupies? (Via MediaBistro) Thursday, April 19, 2007
Posted
7:28 PM
by Gene
Meantime the people seem to be letting news hacks all over America have it over their new hero, which means we're stuck with BRIAN's and CAPUT's images, which will define the obscenity forever, but whose blatant overexposure, with justice, will dig more ground from underneath the news biz. (It must be serious when GREG co-authors it.) Or as BRIAN and CAPUT said, GIVE ME FIVE!!!!!
Posted
5:40 PM
by Gene
OBSESSIVELY TRADING MORONS.
Posted
5:27 PM
by Gene
Josh Tyrangiel, the with-it whiz kid who is going to save Time from dead tree hell, tells me that we will soon (-ish) be adding video to the Swamp. TRANSLATION: ER's adding more bells and whistles, and with any luck the site will be so noisy with bells and whistles you won't hear the content. Look at it this way, Gawk: when PEOPLE NEWSRAG folds it'll save a few forests. P. S. I would like to know why I'm not as good as these TWXSTER millionaires. If I churned out as much CW as they I should have negative hits.
Posted
5:21 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:19 PM
by Gene
That the folks at Marvel seem to think this is something new is the mark of a rank amateur.
Posted
2:57 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:39 PM
by Gene
When does GE BANCORP AND REALTY pay? Time for that SPINOFF, Little Jeffy? (Via the ethically debating Romy)
Posted
12:24 PM
by Gene
If he'd realized CHARLIE (CHARLES) GIBSON'S NUMBER ONE in the RATINGS....
Posted
12:14 PM
by Gene
It's the least (or perhaps we should say the most) it can do.
Posted
11:57 AM
by Gene
Well who told SLEAZEBALL GUMBO's employers to turn America into a chemical fountain of youth?
Posted
9:29 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:14 AM
by Gene
Suddenly, the utilitarian approach to gun control supersedes reality. Yet it is too easy to blame external elements--elements we could perhaps change. Not that gun control isn't a worthy issue, but 32 innocents didn't die only because there are too many guns in the world; they died because Cho decided to kill them. And if the cause wasn't too many guns, then there were plenty of other influences--and plenty of other sources for reporters to harangue: the violence-in-media people, the psychoanalysts, the criminal profilers, and the pharmaceutical companies (Cho was taking an antidepressant). But these are just aspects of this melancholy crisis; they're quite different than the cruel ambition to kill. It is that wicked impulse we should be trying to figure out. Just one problem: only God knows who has that wicked impulse -- and who has a direct line with God?
Posted
8:40 AM
by Gene
Maybe the Muslim world has more common sense than we ordinarily think.
Posted
8:29 AM
by Gene
Yes, the hacks must shut up, and keep up for the future dreaming of this week's profits. They'll need it. (Link via the usual Romy)
Posted
8:27 AM
by Gene
1. Don't some people know how to get their news? 2. 24.7 million may be a lot, but considering our population's 300 million you have to wonder how many deliberately tuned out because they'd already heard the story -- and because they knew how the TV do's would overplay it.
Posted
8:12 AM
by Gene
Some said the "jokes" were just part of his exaggerated way of speaking, so they didn't take them seriously. Others said they found him a savvy, insightful interviewer, and they appreciated the time he gave them to express their thoughts. And some were honest enough to say that they valued his big audience, especially when they were promoting their books. These are weak excuses for journalists' participation in this continuing offense to civility. Jokes are not jokes when they wound and humiliate. The claim that Imus's slanders were the price they had to pay in return for his providing a forum for their ideas doesn't wash. Big-name newspaper, magazine and TV journalists have no trouble finding places where they can voice their thoughts. WwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwWELL! Considering that's it's been umpteen years since Howie Hairshirt and the CLODS at The Newsrag of the Zeitgeist started blabbing with Old Scotch Fumes it does seem odd that The Great Bloviator should only now be harrumphing about it. Amazing how this schlemiel finds the truth after all the rest of America has found it. And for this they pay the big bucks, and lay off people. (Via the usual Romy) Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Posted
8:07 PM
by Gene
![]() Someday the world will know in its full flavor the strange and incredible story of Kitty Carlisle Hart. The granddaughter of Shreveport's first Jewish mayor (!), she was born to -- to put it politely -- a scheming social climber of a mother, and after her physician-husband named Conn died when Kitty was ten she squired her to Europe to marry royalty and spend most of the time in singing lessons. With the Crash it was back to the states for an expedient in show-biz; Kitty looked through a phone directory and found her stage name Carlisle -- as did her mother. Several Broadway shows followed, and soon Kitty was off to Paramount opposite Bing Crosby and introducing "June in January" and "Love in Bloom", and then to MGM with the Marx Brothers and the unlikely A Night at the Opera. A decade of marking time followed -- radio, nightclubs, one last bad movie, and who knows what had she not made her great catch: the brilliant (and bisexual) playwright and director (and psychiatrists' slave) Moss Hart, whom she married in 1946 not for love but because it seemed a good thing at the time. (Among other hobbies Hart liked having nude swimming parties with his "friends." They stopped after the wedding. She was aghast at having to share his bed.) It worked: the couple begat four children and were inseparable until Hart's untimely death at all of 57 in 1961. Most important, it gave her entrée into the great New York social scene, where the natural grace and poise and charm that somehow came from all that time puppy-dogging an imperious mother found a tremendous outlet, and part of it she displayed most famously as a panelist on To Tell the Truth. A life like Mrs. Hart's is unthinkable now, least in part for the opportunites she wouldn't have -- she saw Caruso, and knew Toscanini and his daughters, and dated George Gershwin, and was close to such society bigwigs as Phyllis (Mrs. Bennett) Cerf and Irene (Mrs David O.) Selznick and Dorothy (Mrs. Richard) Rodgers, forces of nature in their own right. You do not rub against all that stardust without a little of it sparkling you, and if her public persona was the real thing -- and we don't doubt it -- Kitty Carlisle Hart had it in galaxies. Here is another reminder of what we have lost, which is far more than we can ever hope to reclaim. P. S. Most of these facts came from Steven Bach's bio of Hart, a not-bad source for such information. (First posted at 5:37 p.m.; I moved it several times for obvious reasons, and also corrected Moss Hart's age; grammatically corrected 2/16/2008)
Posted
8:02 PM
by Gene
(Via WeeklyStandard.com)
Posted
7:42 PM
by Gene
From Our Town fakery to goosing our ratings to telling the public how to think. Yep, the news biz is back to normal. It never left it.
Posted
7:02 PM
by Gene
If ol' LEGENDARY WELCH were still running GE BANCORP they'd have to hospitalize him for laughing. N'est-ce pas?
Posted
6:33 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:32 PM
by Gene
"Yet, in writing he could communicate. You've seen the plays. They're not good writing. But they are at least a form of communication. And in his responses to the other students' plays, he could be quite articulate. If writing is the only way you can communicate with the wider world, then I guess being an English major makes sense." Majoring in firearms would have made just as much sense. This seems to be the only story to report the hideous agony of the victims. P. S. In fairness, the hacks who edit the front pages did not give our psycho all the publicity that was coming to him, but we must remember this was only the first day.
Posted
5:31 PM
by Gene
This psycho will NEVER be out of our sight! Every appearance is like a reward for him! As the fool megazillionaire Brian asks, WHY????? P. S. ![]() This is how the news biz makes up for all the grand exposure it gives a psycho.
Posted
10:46 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:33 AM
by Gene
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Posted
10:28 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:24 AM
by Gene
We MUST elect DEMOCRATS who'll make sure these BIGOTED, FASCIST -- er, you had too much coffee?
Posted
9:40 AM
by Gene
WHEW! WE DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE A THING! Most important is the notion that all the reporters and anchors on camera should be better schooled in crises reporting. Don't sensationalize or speculate. Don't talk about things you don't know because then you're just talking in circles on air. And even though channels employ the "news wheel" philosophy of constant updates, use discretion. Walking us through the story from the start every 10 minutes doesn't help anything. In short, don't waste airtime talking about nothing if you know nothing. Get someone on the street or in the studio. And if the story stalls -- as they all do, even temporarily -- then don't resist the urge to cut away to something different (even though that goes against your gut, history and self-preservation instincts). You can always come back. Having just had a hack tell them their MO is perfect, we can be sure the cable news jerks will take this very seriously -- and then do things THE EXACT OPPOSITE WAY AS ALWAYS.
Posted
9:30 AM
by Gene
Jo-NAH successfully invents another reason why we do not need newspaper colyumnists.
Posted
8:57 AM
by Gene
These nappy-headed -- I DIDN'T SAY IT! (Via MediaBistro)
Posted
8:37 AM
by Gene
Don't some people know how to get their news?
Posted
8:31 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:28 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:14 AM
by Gene
Soon enough we'll forget this story too, and it will be safe to worship death again. Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Posted
5:30 PM
by Gene
LOTS OF PEOPLE WANT ME TO SAY MORE about the Virginia Tech shootings, but I don't have a lot more to say at the moment, particularly as it's still unclear exactly what happened.. [SIC] So why the hell do you BLOG? Plus many of his entries have to do with GUN CONTROL (predictably GLIBERTARIAN, we'd guess), so there's less than zero reason to follow him.
Posted
2:42 PM
by Gene
The problem may be demonstrated with an equation: [(H/I) / D] * C = Tin which H is the horror factor, I is the amount of information available, D is the likelihood of future developments, C (for GUESS WHICH CABLE NEWS NETWORK) is the amount of air time and column inches available (this being close to infinity and getting closer), and T is the tedium factor. Yesterday's obscenity had a very high horror quotient and a very low information quotient, a quotient rendered lower because of so few firsthand accounts and those (student e-mails, mainly) demonstrating that most collegians just cannot write, dousing the interest. With the almost infinite airtime available the hacks were duly sworn to have to ANDERSONIZE the thing, and so the tedium quotient must approach a record. Repeating a story might be justified IF further developments were available, but they weren't, and especially as the very few remaining further developments were already quite obvious (the "loner" factor for one) there was little news, and even greater tedium. This extremely high tedium (and irritation) factor compounds itself as the biz still thinks we all get our news by shlumpfing into a cozy chair and reading the evening paper. It is now possible to be informed anytime, but the ANDERSONIZERS assume some people are totally oblivious to the news, which seems an increasingly dubious assumption (heck, that famous question, "Where were you on December 7, 1941?" assumes the news spread pretty fast even then, so this notion has probably been obsolete for at least six decades); plus the nightly-news geriatrics are deigned somehow holy despite being less than ten percent of us. This justifies the whack-on-the-brain repetition as much as need to obsessively fill an excessive news hole. That the dolt "Prime-Time" Fahri uses "SYMBOLISM" as an excuse all but confirms THE NEWS BIZ IS BROKE AND IT WON'T CHANGE BECAUSE IT'S TOO FAT AND UGLY AND PROFITABLE. I hate to discuss such an awful story so clinically, but dammit these reporting idiots have brains harder than reinforced concrete -- and IQs to MATCH. One other thing: is it possible so many of these fired reporters Romy & Company always cry over are the JERNALISTIC equivalent of unneeded middle managers turning out too many unneeded reports? P. S. Has anyone noticed Stale.com has hardly done a thing on this? Doesn't it lend itself to snarky devil's-advocate irony?
Posted
2:38 PM
by Gene
We really, really, REALLY need one million news hacks to report this.
Posted
12:31 PM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: He knows on which side his money is buttered.
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Now let's be nice (Score:5, Funny)
(http://www.bigbrother.net/)