Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Monday, June 02, 2008

    Posted 6:02 PM by Gene

    We were happy to see the Nine Fingers -- "without comment" -- denied Zelig Selig a chance to REALLY grab the fans by the ankles and vigorously shake them. Demanding that athletes' names are private property is total nonsense, but we expect nonsense from the sport that gave us the asterisk men.

    Then again, given the looniness of the rotisserie leaguers' desire to fry their brains, it might have led to a few happier marriages. Then again, aren't those mercenaries obscenely wealthy enough?

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