Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Posted 6:45 PM by Gene

And in other news of overpaid, overexposed typists whom PVT. ZELL should have laid off, we realize it is a waste of bandwidth to dwell on Mogul's Friend's successive outbursts, but the man will just not stop making an ass of himself. His current solution for the Os-CAR®S is twofold: 1. To get the A-CA-DE-MY® to honor as many of the hundreds of GREAT FILMS that it can, and 2. For the IN-DUS-TRY to give big wide platforms for terrific films with zero crowd-pleasing appeal. So irrelevant has this buffoon become that nearly thirty hours after his post it's gathered no comments. For once the sadomasochists who call themselves movee buffs have shown good judgment. With any luck PVT. will find a financial excuse for this bozo to daydream somewhere else -- say, at Northwestern University, where he can be a PERFESSER OF OS-CAR®, or at ROLLING STONE, where he can form a tag team of toadying with PETER TRAVERS.

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