THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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"National Lampoon" Inc. engaging in stock manipulation? or
The Golfing Machine perfunctorily apologizing to Wrong-Way for his caddy?
There's surely humor in both jokes. "National Lampoon" must be the eighth or ninth version of the one-hit wonder that has lasted this long only because someone thinks the declining proceeds of Animal House must be worth something, anything; its successive owners invented the term "penny stock" before anyone knew what it was. It's in the same league as porno stocks only the sex is simulated. As for TGM and Wrong-Way, it is quite obvious they despise each other, especially after that amusing tale at the U. S. Open; but then they have plenty to be despicable about, TGM being an efficient, soulless, RICH piece of automation (at least before it broke down); Wrong-Way for being an absolute ninny with no discernible sense of humor. Really those two guys deserve each other -- and golf deserves them...and golf deserves fewer sponsors for being the Madoff's favorite.