Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, February 01, 2009

Posted 9:16 AM by Gene

I'm not surprised to learn the AQUATIC GEEK did a bong hit (really, he looks the type) -- or that SLIME exposed him -- but if the sorry tale of Secretary Geithner says anything he may yet have a second, third, fourth and fifth act thanks to MONEY. Whether he should add to his medal collection is another story.

No, I'm not OUTRAGED. I expect such behavior from cretins like this. What gets me mad is what we will call LAUREATEITIS -- the propensity of hacks to use big words and bigger hype to describe the luck hogging of less-than-ordinary men. They did it with the ASTERISK GANG, and so they did it with the GEEK.

P. S. at 2:52 p. m. I really thought the news would confine itself to SLIMEWORLD, but somehow it leaked out.

P. P. S. at 3:07 p. m. Tomorrow is when the news really gets annoying -- when we hear from thousands and thousands with MARKETING in their titles.

P. P. P. S. at 3:21 p. m.: Prediction: SLIME WRITES DOWN DOW JONES.

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