THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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TRANSLATION: 1. WE ARE THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. This constant gargle about endowments and bailouts is no accident; by removing themselves from the UNALLOYED EVIL of advertising revenues newsmen would be newsmen, meaning raging megalomanaics squared. And news hacks ARE important. 2. THE WORLD OWES US A LIVING. $100 million a year would be a good use for some philanthropy somewhere, especially now after the SCUM MADOFF; so of course some former editor at FIFTYTHREECENTSCO must ask for a "PRESTIGIOUS" HI-MOM MOMENT, all the better for his brethren to plead for further handouts. Yes, we must say it again, the reason your biz is held in no regard is because of the DO-NOT-CALL LAW.