Posted 8:17 AM by Gene

Today that local Brawny called Metro reminded us -- not up on its Web site, natch -- that we won't sleep tonight (though it is highly unlikely there'll be vandalism -- for an LCS win?) and that inspired us to a half-cocked thoroughly asinine idea: Seeing how professional sports teams grin over the damage their Blutos cause there's only one way to pay for it: a surcharge on beer, effective on Super Bowl Sunday or the first day of a World Series/NBA Finals/Stanley Cup (take your pick) through the end of the day for the victory parade. HOWEVER, there'd be an out; an eligible sports team could help its fans avoid the surcharge by putting up a suitably large-enough bond to pay for any costs associated with the rioti -- I mean, celebrating, on the first day of the season. The city would refund all costs if the team didn't win its title. But there would be a mandatory review if it did; and if the public officials determined the BLUTOS wreaked enough beer-inspired damage the surcharge would be PERMANENT -- and the team would still have to put up the bond. And make no mistake: most of the people who do the damage are NOT SOBER. To paraphrase what my dad would say, you piddle on your bed, you lie in it.