Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

Saturday, October 31, 2009


To anyone with bad memories of how Gore's fact-filled debate performances against George W. Bush in 2000 failed to connect with voters, it may come as no surprise that Our Choicehas [SIC] a graphic on "how a wind turbine works," and a long section that begins: "Conventional hydrothermal plants are built according to one of three different designs. The steam can be taken directly through the turbine and then recondensed … " But because of one sentence, and one chapter, it does surprise. The chapter is an astute analysis of the psychological barriers that keep most Americans from taking the threat of climate change seriously, his acknowledgment that emotion, not just reason, drives the decisions people make. The sentence is this: "Simply laying out the facts won't work."

I think we get the message, JonBoy: we must drum climate change into their dear little ears...the only problem being we can't drum it into as many dear little ears as we used to, an unfortunate consequence of rather being right. Which may explain the relative reason of what we've skimmed of this piece -- it seems to highlight the limits of drumming along with the unlimits of Mr. Internet's "flexibility" -- but then we'd rather not have to read a whole article just to figure out if KAPLAN, INC. will throw another tantrum...and so, alas, we didn't.

SIXTY PERCENT, JonBoy!

P. S.

In addition to the newspaper, [KAPLAN, INC.] owns Kaplan Inc. [SIC] educational business [SIC], CableOne, a small cable company whose customers live mainly in the Northwest and Gulf States, six television stations and several other print and online publications, including Slate, Express and El Tiempo Latino.

Hmmm -- I think we're MISSING something!


WHEW! SELIGFEST is safe.

I don't know about our city, however.


I have mentioned Babbitt before as it's my favorite novel. It is dated in many ways, as when Sinclair Lewis ascribes some vague evil to the communions in the silent movie house, but that's part of its charm, and we learn what intangibles we've lost. But it also speaks more to us than we may want to admit.

It certainly speaks to me. I don't like discussing my personal life but I've lived in a cocoon and can't escape. Though Babbitt was the last word in conventional -- he was especially conventional in his religion, attending church as everyone else did; he'd have appreciated today's mega-"churches" -- he was not quite the prototype of the Organization Man people think. No, he was Walter Mitty before James Thurber coined the name. We forget the book really deals with a sensitive man's midlife crisis: Consumed by a sudden dissatisfaction with his bourgeois ways Babbitt tries becoming a Lothario in the spirit of the Twenties, but he can't drink with pleasure, and he is much too self-conscious but to see others' faults, and it fails him. He sulks back to his miserably conventional life and his dumpy wife and not-too-bright children.

And speaking of the Second Coming, he had a brief devotion to baseball. This is where Babbitt has such value; we get to see life on another planet called America. ZELIG and the greedmeisters posit a day of baseball purity to mask their foulness, but the sport was very difficult to follow in its supposed golden age; there were no night games (and no blacks), and no television or even radio -- you had to be at the game, an inconvenience at best for working people, or follow it "live" at a local newspaper. Or to quote from the salient spot:

Baseball, he determined, would be an excellent hobby. "No sense a man's working his fool head off. I'm going out to the Game three times a week. Besides, fellow ought to support the home team."

He did go and support the team, and enhance the glory of Zenith, by yelling "Attaboy!" and "Rotten!" He performed the rite scrupulously. He wore a cotton handkerchief about his collar; he became sweaty; he opened his mouth in a wide loose grin; and drank lemon soda out of a bottle. He went to the Game three times a week, for one week. Then he compromised on watching the Advocate-Times bulletin-board. He stood in the thickest and steamiest of the crowd, and as the boy up on the lofty platform recorded the achievements of Big Bill Bostwick, the pitcher, Babbitt remarked to complete strangers, "Pretty nice! Good work!" and hastened back to the office.

He honestly believed that he loved baseball. It is true that he hadn't, in twenty-five years, himself played any baseball except back-lot catch with Ted--very gentle, and strictly limited to ten minutes. But the game was a custom of his clan, and it gave outlet for the homicidal and sides-taking instincts which Babbitt called "patriotism" and "love of sport."


Notwithstanding the ham-handed commentary at the end we can see that for many sports are something less than a full-time devotion, and for a reason.

And Babbitt can still speak to us because it survived Babbitt. Despite his less-than-success in business Harry S Truman was his good side; Dubya (whose first name is also George) would have reclined comfortably in Babbitt's many lazy prejudices and platitudes. And we have recent evidence it may yet be vaguely alive. Recently PILLHEAD's favorite intellectual wrote a telling review of a novel from the "thriller" novelist Robert Ferrigno set in the America of 2040, where half the country is an Islamic republic and the other half fitfully Christian. While this seems unthinkable given how easily we can demoralize ourselves it is not impossible. Or as this Substitute Host puts it,

Meanwhile, the [Bible] Belt is less a bastion of republican virtue than an impoverished swamp of garish sentimentality whose national shrines are Waco and Graceland.

An impoverished swamp of garish sentimentality -- definitely the successor to Babbitts. (It does seem strange that PILLHEAD and his fellow yappers could not come to the rescue, but that's another novel.)

Sinclair Lewis wrote a book called It Can't Happen Here. He was thinking of other isms. Given our weakness for stinky political fads and the tenacity of our enemies, it can.


And yes, we did catch Ah-NULT's communiqué, which got the hacks all pinching themselves for its vast wit; but for our part we'd have a rather he'd written an "Ode to My Excellence as Governator", which would have involved the same coincidental letters.


THORB-JORN JAG-LAND SPEAKS!

Is it fair to say that Alfred Nobel did little to advance the cause of peace and much to thwart it as a chemist who invented dynamite in the 1860s?

Yes. He profited from war. That was why he became a peacemaker; well, not a peacemaker, but he saw the consequences of dynamite, how war became more efficient, an even more awful killing machine.


And since then he's made a LOT of peace, THORB.

The literature prize continues to go to ever more obscure choices. Had you heard of Herta Müller, the Romanian-German writer who is this year’s laureate?

To be honest, no, I hadn’t.

Have you read any novels by last year’s laureate in literature, Jean-Marie Gustave Le Clézio, of France?

Not before, but I read him afterward. It’s difficult reading.

What about Philip Roth or J. D. Salinger or Alice Munro or Joyce Carol Oates, who have freed literature from falseness and decorum, but whom the committee continues
to overlook?


Most people say what you are saying: Why don’t you choose one who is more known?


Because how many Americans write like Europeans?

INTERVIEW HAS BEEN CONDENSED AND EDITED.

P. S. All RIGHT, it's pronounced like THIS, which makes it sound worse.

(Via MICHAEL)


GanNETt wants its SWAGGER back!

We know all about SWAGGER, disciples of NEUHARTH -- which may be why your stock has lost ITS.

Here's the best part: the NETt's being "IMPACTED" by LENO! GO JUT-JAW!


And we have tried ignoring this publicity stunt, knowing that complaining of such stunts means only more $$$$$$$$$$ for the publicists, but we would note this IS from PEOPLE WARNER, home of the DISCLAIMER, and the people responsible could not stop laughing -- either at their hilarity OR the audience.

AND PEOPLE WARNER HAS RUN ANOTHER DISCLAIMER! Don't SPIN OFF your RAGS, Mr. BEW-kes -- SHUT THEM DOWN!


This makes us think that, like so many sensations of the last forty or fifty years, Neil Simon's oeuvre may not have much of an afterlife.

We are rather pleased to note WACKO's CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED MASTERWORK is not doing the $250 MILLION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SUPERNIKKI!!!!!!!!!! and her fellow press agents said it would, which makes us doubt whether that splotched friend of children will have much of an afterlife himself.

(First link via SUPERADAM!!!!!)


And as our formerly grand city's denizens prepare to move to the heavens:

Six People Shot in Five Separate Incidents in Phila.


We have not commented on the contentious House race in upstate New York because we did not know what to say. On the one hand it is sad to see someone's campaign collapse like this, largely because -- let's face it -- she wasn't conservative PC enough; but the run in with The Weekly Standard was self-inflicted, and we have enough pols ready to compromise in the word's worst sense.

(Via ESPNCORP Network News)


Our poor publicist Susan of USAOKAY!!!!! is having sleepless nights because the Os-CARS® expanded the best pic-tyure field -- and even another publicist looking hopefully up the ladder says "[a] lot more best-picture movies were made back then [i.e., in 1939] than now", although he carefully phrases it so that he won't have to admit that maybe there were a lot more good movies then.

Aw geez Sue, get a little shuteye! Take a cue from the NEUHARTH PLAYBOOK -- BLURB!


Boehner: GOP offering the right health care ideas

TRANSLATION: BANEhead doesn't have a clue either.

P. S. at 1:58 p. m. Well all right, the Elephant Party does have these talking points. But why couldn't it have come up with them, say, four years ago?

We would note too point no. 4 is largely revenge at Democrats. We must admit, though, even someone suffering from PICA might not have an appetite for a 1,990-page bill.

(GOP link via the usual folk at Commentary)

Friday, October 30, 2009


Wonderful:

Illinois Teacher Fund Confronts $35 Billion Unfunded Liability

We don't want to think how many other Illinois Teacher Retirement Systems there are.

(Via FinViz)


Kaplan continues to be the company's biggest revenue generator. The education business, which includes online and brick-and-mortar higher education campuses in addition to test prep, reported $685 million in third-quarter revenue, or 60 percent of [KAPLAN, INC.]'s total revenue.

When does this company formally change its name to KAPLAN, INC.?


Meantime The Daily Broccoli pleads for government handouts for its news division. SELF-SERVING MORONS -- you COULD open a SALON.

(Both links via MediaBistro)


Moammar and Gordon's favorite smiley-faced oil company BP is being fined a lot for neglecting safety -- but what's safety when you've got Moammar and Gordon in your pocket?


Street Stews Over Consumer Worries [Generic link on Forbeslist.com home page]

Consumers shouldn't worry! They should INVEST -- like WE DO!!!!!


Speaking of Senor Vlad:

Russia fails to protect journalists, activists, prison inmates and others at odds with authorities from a wide range of abuses, including torture and murder, the U.N. Human Rights Committee said Friday.

Okay, that's done -- now on to the business of prosecuting ISRAEL.


Aw shucks, Tony's lost his chance to win the Nobel.

Now he'll have to be content spending the rest of his life making very profitable speeches and being an appendage to sleazy businessmen.


Why we stand AGHAST that CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) would lay off ANY of his critically-needed reporters:

4-legged movie stars vie for 'canine Oscars'

LONDON (AP) -- Four-legged screen stars are vying for the Fido Film Awards, billed as the canine equivalent of the Oscars.

Nominees announced Friday include the animated dog stars of "Bolt" and "Up," the titular mutt in "Marley and Me" and - in a rare non-canine choice - the dapper, George Clooney-voiced "Fantastic Mr. Fox."

They are competing for prizes in categories including historical hound, rom-com rover and comedy canine.

Award organizer Toby Rose said the past year had scene
[SIC!!!!!] "an unprecedented run of dog successes at the international box office."

The Fidos call themselves the world's first international awards for canine screen stars. The winners will be chosen by a panel of British film critics and announced at a Nov. 22 ceremony in London.


Necessary!

P. S. at 2:52 p. m. Testimony to the Web's (and news hacks') infallibility: For "Award organizer Toby Rose said the past year had scene" G000,000,000GLE shows 1,690 LINKS -- and TWO CORRECTIONS.

P. P. S. on 10/31 at 10:20 a. m. There are now 1,150 links -- and 146 corrections. Progress!


Robert Gibbs, Obama's communications director, has likened his rhetorical jabs at Fox to the high-and-inside throws of a pitcher determined to back a batter off the plate. But Ailes isn't the batter in this scenario -- he's the opposing manager. And if Team Obama throws beanballs at his guys, he's going to see to it that the other side hears a little chin music, too.

Guess who really gets beaned with government as beanball.


(Via MediaBistro)


Bad Time for Sports Overspending

Bad time? Any time for sports overspending at professional college teams is a GREAT time!

AND it keeps the clien -- students happy! Civic pri -- school spirit!


The Great Depression And The Great Recession

More alike than everyone thinks.


NOW somebody tells us.

Thursday, October 29, 2009


We hate to be cynics but could someone have "unintentionally" disclosed these House "Ethics" Committee "investigations" to scotch them all?

Nearly half the members of a powerful House subcommittee in control of Pentagon spending are under scrutiny by ethics investigators in Congress, who have trained their lens on the relationships between seven members and an influential lobbying firm founded by a former Capitol Hill aide.

Possible.


More stimulus now would add to an already dangerously high deficit. There may be greater need for it in a year’s time, when the inventory boost will be waning and this year’s $787 billion stimulus plan is about to expire. Even then, more stimulus should be considered only if a deficit-reduction plan is in place.

HARDY-HAR-HAR!


YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK -- IN THE CLUNKERS PROGRAM:

Edmunds.com says a lot of those sales would have happened anyway, with or without the clunkers program. Of more than 690,000 vehicles sold, only about 125,000 of the sales were entirely due to the government's added inducement, Edmunds.com says. The rest of buyers just got lucky by getting the government to kick cash into deals that they would have proceeded with anyhow. When the cost of the program is spread over just those extra incremental sales, the total is $24,000 per vehicle.

That's just about $2,000 shy of the average amount paid for a new car by buyers in August, $26,915.


DOW UP 180 KAZILLION TODAY!!!!!!!!!!


Conservatives want one kind of uneven playing field. Liberals want another.

We said it before: If PILLHEAD ruled America unions and organizing would be illegal. If SPEAKER BABS ruled America union membership and dues would be mandatory.


Sam Zell is complaining about losing what amounts to pocket change on his ill-fated takeover of the Tribune Co....

Zell, who reaped a $39 billion windfall unloading his real estate empire, stands to lose the $315 million he personally put into the complex transaction two years ago. "It's certainly the most amount of money I've lost in a single deal," he said in a Bloomberg interview.

The 68-year-old billionaire, who daily rides one of his 15 prized motorcycles to work, said that if he could turn back the clock on the flopped deal, he "would have married someone else."


You mean PVT. ZELL wouldn't have married himself?


How many others besides me have been sickened by the way Hollywood has attempted to deify Michael Jackson in death after its denizens vilified him in life blahblahblah....

I really wish NIKKI!!!!! "ZEIGFIELD" FINKE!!!!! would stop hectoring us about morals and stick with selling things.


The Value of Online Content: Practically Nothing

We've stared at a monitor long enough -- we know.

(Via MediaBistro)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


The SILLY-DELPHIA FRILLIES....

Why do I think this will be 1950 in reverse?


"We know that in fact you punish us for size."

Sorry Mr. Moon 'n' Stars, big 'n' clumsy go together.


FBI kills leader of radical Muslims; 6 held in raids

It appears we are NOT finished with DOMESTIC holy cockroaches. Vigilance, ALWAYS vigilance.

We must post this comment:

WorkedTooMuch wrote:

I deeply regret that a canine unit was lost in defense of our (and his) country. It is quite possible that the dog took a bullet that would have otherwise taken out a human agent.

I'm more of a cat person than a dog person, yet I never fail to remember the intelligence and faithfulness that a well trained dog can display. RIP, my friend.


Good (sniff) dog!

(Via ASSPress via MyWay.com)


NYC: the city that never smokes
A proposal to ban lighting up in New York’s parks has exposed the puritanical agenda behind the crusade against smoking.

Patrick Basham directs the Democracy Institute and is a
CATO INSTITUTE adjunct scholar. John Luik is a Democracy Institute senior fellow. They are co-authors of Hidden in Plain Sight: Why Tobacco Display Bans Fail. [Smoking overemphasis added]

Everyone has an agenda, sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.


Tony Blair set to stand for EU presidency 'if job is big enough'

Haven't retired prime ministers heard of Douglas MacArthur?




This one we must put in our neat-O file.

America must make up her mind about space exploration. The thing is: if we'd put all the money we BURNED ON FINANCIERS into the effort...

...we could have sent them to the moon ON A SPACESHIP.


Naturally, on the other side of this tiresome divide, the whole world (outside NOO YAWK) hates the Pinstripes.

We note with some annoyance that StinkyInky Publishing Co. is in danger of selling at a fire-sale price. (Not OUR danger.) I can see its moth-eaten flagship doing this: Say the SELIGISM Series goes seven games. I see a fourteen-inning seventh game with lead changes each half-inning. When "our" side finally wins in the bottom half (bases loaded, two outs, full count, natch) the BLUTOS go into full riot mode. Our Stinky Inky, having run so many press releases during the Center City condo boom, does them a favor by draping the front page in a promotional "PHILLIES REPEAT!!!!!!!!!!" wrapper (i.e., a fake front page with four pages of photos) and playing down the rioting on the real front page. Yes, I can see a newspaper bankrupt in more ways than one doing this.

Of course the NOO YAWK tabloids would respond by gleefully overplaying the story on THEIR front pages, meaning more than one newspaper will be unreadable the day after.

(Second link via the usual Romy)


Tennis star Andre Agassi serves up a bombshell in his new memoir: In the late '90s he began regularly using crystal meth.

Why am I supposed to be bombed, PEOPLE WARNER? Wouldn't it be more astonishing if someone in big media and its tendrils didn't succumb to drugs?


French financial watchdogs slammed Nicolas Sarkozy for spending £160m during his country's six-month stint in charge of the EU – including £250,000 on a personal presidential shower that he never used.

Remember when people were calling this guy "conservative"?

Nope, just another European.


On one occasion Sarkozy triggered the cancellation of an entire EU event he was due to host in Evian, because he wanted to sleep in his own bed at the Élysée palace. By then, hundreds of journalists, EU officials and national delegations had either already arrived in Evian or were on their way.

Your typical Congresspoop would appreciate that.


They're going berserk down there in that suburb of Camden....

Suburb of Greenwich and Fairfield doesn't sound that flattering either, as that's where many of NOO YAWK's corporate HQ went.


Heck any town that BOASTS it'll make $15.5 million from each of its SELIGISM Series games has a self-esteem problem. It wouldn't hurt to be humble a little. But as we said before, we in Philthydelphia have plenty to be humble about.


"They're reporting better-than-expected earnings on back of significant cost cutting...but sales are not picking up. That's what's getting our attention. At a certain point of time they can't cut costs any further. Sales are not going higher."

When the markets go up a zillion points...who cares?


This'll help us:

U.S. colleges and universities are graduating as many scientists and engineers as ever, according to a study released on Oct. 28 by a group of academics. But that finding comes with a big caveat: Many of the highest-performing students are choosing careers in other fields. The study by professors at Rutgers and Georgetown suggests that since the late 1990s, many of the top students have been lured to careers in finance and consulting.


It is hard to avoid the conclusion that unified Democratic government has sparked a conservative counter-mobilization. Because we cannot rerun history as a controlled experiment, we will never know whether this could have been avoided had the Obama administration and Congressional Democrats adopted a different strategy. In any case, it’s too late to reverse it.

Still, Democrats must ask themselves whether there’s anything they can do over the next year--for example, a meaningful shift toward fiscal restraint--to reduce the intensity level of the conservative assault. If not, the combination of an energized opposition and an electorate battered by high unemployment, slow growth, and the perception of out-of-control spending could set the stage for an ugly outcome.


Already liberals are speaking of one-party government in the past tense.


(Via -- oh well -- JENNIFER)


Each World Series game played at Yankee Stadium is worth $15.5 million to the New York City economy, according to an estimate by the city’s Economic Development Corp.

WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sort of makes all the money You vacuumed from the turnips worth it, huh HONORARY MAYOR MIKE?

And how much does Your government waste in a day, Honorary?

The more these government clowns make up numbers the more their turnips think revolution.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


One graf in this story about the fellow behind that "sweat lodge" proves this age has more con artists than any other:

In 2006, Ray appeared in The Secret, a popular documentary in which he and others promoted the philosophy that positive thinking makes good things happen. He also appeared on Oprah.


"The data is eye-opening and quite troubling - athletic expenditures are rising three or four times faster than academic budgets," said William "Brit" Kirwan, chancellor of the University System of Maryland.

All the more reason to raise tuition!

Cal spokesman Mogulof said, "There's a reason that 10,000 students come to every home football game.

"They're not just at Berkeley to attend class. They come to be part of a community."


KOLLEDGES believe in the civic-pride humbug too!


The good thing about ads like these is they remind us who is no longer alive to Twitter, and of the Pygmies in their wake.

And how many of these geniuses do it themselves?


Lots of people will stomp the feet over the BUGMEISTERS' "cowardice", but this is a mere rerun of what has happened thousands of times to advertisers who don't know what they finance -- and mostly don't care.

I'm guessing we will also hear from con-SER-va-tives. They should shut up too.


I would not have posted on this but when I read the Pinstripes are "heavy 2-1 favorites" I cringed. You'd think these days reps wouldn't count for much being constantly trashed, but that 2-1 is mostly Ruth and Gehrig and DiMaggio, and they may not be on the team. Meantime the Big Apple's hacks refer to "Silly-Delphia" and "the Frillies", the sort of mockery that looks awfully embarrassing after a rout. And neither city should point fingers -- we have our ghettoes, NOO YAWK has Goldman Sachs.

I suspect the professional sports buffs are picking "our" guys, and I wouldn't care less either way but for the prospect of more sleepless nights, and more Blutory. I further suspect this will do better in the ratings; last year was such an anomaly. But onward and downward thereafter for a sport that -- richly deserves it.

Interesting too that Joysey's rooting mostly for the Yanks, but then Joysey's mostly an Apple suburb.

No wisecracks about the smell. Got it?


Nope.


Unable to sleep and picking up on this tiresome feud between ESPNCORP and Nick Dorken (two villains if ever there were) we clicked on undated anonymous TWXSTER lists of the 25 "best" and five "most overated" (but not worst) blogs (note the typical PEOPLE WARNER asymmetry -- I smell ER). The "best" list was more telling than the "worst": five liberal blogs, plus Lileks (we thought he had retired), and Dooce, and not hardly a worthwhile one to be found (although it is touching how we do a favor for our former employee Mr. Mellerdrammer). The Web is approaching the same rarefied level of CW and irrelevance as the newspaper biz. When do we revolt against IT?

P. S. at 10:48 a. m. The presence of all the celebrities led me to ignore the Cuban blogger (!), but the fact remains these are choices you'd expect from PEOPLE WARNER, and from ER.

P. P. S. at 11:07 a. m. We also note that two of the "most overrated" appeared as "best" blogs in the list for 2008. And witness this roll-your-eyes observation:

By most estimates, this is the 10th most popular blog on the planet: a site that lets users upload pictures of cats and affix funny captions to them written in a made-up language. Further evidence of the decline of Western civilization.

TRANSLATION: Most listicles are worthless.

Monday, October 26, 2009


Just one problem with this sudden radio nostalgia binge: The people reading ADS may be "live", but there are a lot more ADS than in the days of Marlboro -- and these folks are still reading ADS.


And where the elite meet to ridicule their turnips:

The other hot topic of the day was, not surprisingly, the impact of the expected Comcast-NBC Universal deal. Jessica Reif Cohen, 1st VP/Managing Director at Banc of America Securities-Merrill Lynch Research, said Comcast's potential deal to acquire a majority interest in NBCU could create “incredible” value for the MSO.

Though she noted that a failed deal could hit Comcast's stock hard, her backing was enough that one media-company CEO in the crowd said afterward, “I should go fill my boots with Comcast stock right now.”


Coming on the heels of that famous sales -- ANALYST stock was not what I was thinking of.


Whenever I hear "nano" I think of The Professor and his friend the guy who thinks we can live forever.

How apt that carbon nanotubes may cause the same problems as asbestos.


The Sound of Newt Choking and Spluttering

No, I don't think he'll be president.

Sunday, October 25, 2009


Jeffry Picower, a de facto unindicted co-conspirator of the scum Madoff, has died. RIP.


Businesses would not be required to provide health insurance under legislation being readied for Senate debate, but large firms would owe significant penalties if any worker needed government subsidies to buy coverage on their own, according to Democratic officials familiar with talks on the bill.

For firms with more than 50 employees, the fee could be as high as $750 multiplied by the total size of the work force if only a few workers needed federal aid, these officials said. That is a more stringent penalty than in a bill that recently cleared the Senate Finance Committee, which said companies should face penalties on a per-employee basis.
[Emphasis added]

How many firms have 50 to 1000 employees? Are they large too?

The more they talk, the more they write, the more convoluted this gets.


When Sen. Olympia Snowe, Republican of Maine, broke with her party to vote a health-care bill out of committee, she said, "When history calls, history calls." And it's not asking for baby steps. [LAST SENTENCE]

Okay Anna, if this is a time for action, why did KAPLAN, INC. take such a big non-baby step with your rag's circ -- BACKWARDS? Since you're telling the truth why not tell it to more people? Oh, telling truth costs money. It didn't used to.


7. Frank Rich: In Defense of the ‘Balloon Boy’ Dad [Home-page "Most Popular" link]

The credulous might find this a worthwhile essay -- and one could mount a defense of the man, however unlikely. It might make for decent writing. Not being that credulous I did a little experiment: using Find in Firefox I typed in four letters:

B - U - S - H



Ta-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't bother reading it.

Here we have a reason newspapers deserve their troubles. A computer could type out most of the contents. Pinch pays this bozo what? A million? To repeat himself all the time? Perhaps he's a profit center. We should recall though when Pinch tried His first experiment with paid content no one missed him -- or any of His other columnists. His approach deprives us of unconventional viewpoints -- not conservative vs. liberal, but truly unconventional ideas, like a defense of the Balloon Boy's father. Absurd -- but it could make people think. Instead we get the usual 800 words of verbally-induced coma.

The press's collapse has not deprived the most deserving of unemployment of their jobs. The time has come.


Believe me when I say that torture porn flicks embarrass the industry which has been moving away from that and towards PG-13 fright fare.

Believe YOU?
NIKKI!!!!! "ZEIGFIELD" FINKE!!!!!?

Saturday, October 24, 2009


No. 8 in an annoying Big-C listicle of the late Portfolio.com's "Worst American CEOs of All Time": a con-SER-va-tive hero:

Jay Gould

When it comes to unscrupulous behavior, Gould makes Milken look like a sweetheart. A railroad developer and speculator, Gould sold out his associates, bribed legislators to get deals done, and even kidnapped a potential investor. He duped the U.S. Treasury, pushing up the price of gold and prompting a scare on Wall Street that depressed all stocks. After hiring strikebreakers during a railroad strike in 1886, he was reported to have said, “I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.”

THE STAT: When Gould died, his fortune was worth an estimated $67 billion in inflation-adjusted dollars.


And No. 6: a former hero of Lou "The CEO-Toadying Populist" Dobbs:

Al Dunlap

Picked by the board of Scott Paper Co. as the man to turn the struggling company around, Dunlap earned his nickname “Chainsaw Al” by ­slicing 11,000 employees. When Scott merged with Kimberly-Clark, Dunlap’s payoff was estimated at more than $100 million.

Dunlap’s memoir/manifesto, Mean Business, roughly coincided with his next CEO star turn, which was also to be his last. Sunbeam’s stock surged on the news that the Chainsaw was coming; massive workforce reductions and factory closures followed within months. His book clearly explained what set him apart from “addle-brained” and “weak” executives: “I’m a superstar in my field,” he wrote.

Could there be a clearer sell signal? Unable to flip Sunbeam to a new buyer, as he’d done with Scott, Dunlap was stuck actually running the company. He failed spectacularly. Within two miserable years, the board fired him. The tactics he’d used to stave off losses—the company overstated its net income by $60 million, which was real money back then—earned him a civil suit from the SEC and a class-action suit by shareholders. Dunlap eventually settled both and was barred from serving as an officer or director of any public company. You could call Chainsaw Al’s story a fall from grace, but in his case, that’s probably not the proper word.


I've just thought up a slogan for MIKE!!!!!'s site:

NEWSER®. We waste time so you don't have to!™


David Gurgle Jr. says His Omnipotence really is reforming education. So did Dubya. The only thing we do know is that David spoke to BILL GATES!!!!!, which makes him Gurgle more than ever.


A DECISIVE PRESIDENT ACTS:

Obama declares swine flu a national emergency

P. S. at 1:55 p. m. Our DECISIVE PRESIDENT proclaimed the emergency Friday night but didn't tell the hacks until this morning, which shows just how important this is -- or maybe he's still fuming over YOU-KNOW-WHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS!!!!!

Friday, October 23, 2009


This is a non-starter. Being a TEEVEE-network-running blowhard isn't running the nation. Think VEEP BIG-OIL. Worse, think SARAH!!!!! with jowls. Also, think a president taking instructions from SLIME. NUF SAID.

Politico.com sure knows how to be asinine!

P. S. at 6:36 p. m. Well, that was short; he's declined. He "can't take the pay cut", he says. That and he has more power.

And we suspect even he thought it an embarrassment.

(Via the loudmouth Michael)


Well -- we thought today was upupUP!

[W]ith a sharp drop in stock prices after the housing data came out Friday it appears traders are no longer excited by sales increases that are partially subsidized by the federal government.

You don't think the fools at the Wall Street Casino are getting -- wise?


This is increasingly what Kurtz does in his “Media Notes” columns[:] offering a roundup of media quotes spliced together with his own clever comments, with virtually no reporting or sustained analysis of his own.

On his salary he doesn't have to report or analyze!


We have not commented on the FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS!!!!! brouhaha thinking it the political equivalent of spitballing, but LIAR LIAR BROCK'S ON FIRE just threw a tantrum to end all tantrums; he merely wants a return to the status quo ante, the glory days of two years of hyperbole and worship of God, Jack Kennedy and Abe Lincoln. Liberals have only themselves to blame that their church is suddenly caving in, for with their hosannas they helped bring on the termites and roof leaks. We don't like FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS!!!!! and its screamers but LIAR and his White House bosses have decided the way to fight them is by getting themselves deeper and muddier in the pigpen where LIAR resides.


Still elsewhere regarding the CASINO:

The US stock market is overvalued by 40%

That means it's overvalued by more than it's gone up since March!

Way to go, GEKKOS!

(Via Seeking Alpha)


In more GEKKOISM:

New Jersey Pays Goldman Sachs for Swaps on Nonexistent Bonds

Ka-CHINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!!!!!

GS at 5000!!!!!


HOW AMAZON.COM DOES IT: I had a set of Antal Dorati's Haydn symphonies from a Marketplace seller in my cart at $62.78. Today it changed to $148.32.

AMZN at 1000!!!!!


Has the recession receded?

The GEKKO KUDLOWS say

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The public says NO.


Speaking of BUGMEISTERS, today's shaping up as a GEKKO KUDLOW DAY at the WALL STREET CASINO!

GEKKO! PLEASE -- tell us WHY the STOCK MARKET DOUBLING AND TRIPLING will help our economy!


When U2 takes the stage of the Rose Bowl on Sunday night, the Irish band will have performed 42 shows on its "360°" tour. They will have played in front of almost 3 million fans, broken dozens of attendance records and grossed close to $300 million.

They will have drawn rapturous reviews, made the cover of Rolling Stone and given the troubled concert business a gigantic shot of adrenaline.

What they won’t have done is make any money.


Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!


Hey Bono! Why not ask your friends BUGMEISTER and LITTLE MALCOLM for HELP?

Bono summed up the delicate balance in an interview with USA Today at the beginning of the U.S. tour. “I want to put on an extraordinary show,” he said, “but I’d like to own my house when it’s over.”

TRANSLATION: He's already asked his friend ST. WARREN!

“The concert was high-minded and earthy, exalted and playful, sometimes even goofy, wielding rock-star prerogatives while undercutting them with disarming informality,” wrote Jon Pareles in the New York Times.

How much did those free tickets to the ever fatuous ad-blurbists cost?


Con-SER-va-tives are FURIOUS over His Omnipotence's pay dictatorship. We repeat, the government should not dictate corporate salaries. That said, these banking cretins were prepared to use Uncle Sucker as their backstop, and they had this revenge coming from the moment they peddled their toxic paper and larcenous loans. Yes, they may find a way around the strictures; but I wouldn't be surprised if the salaries make no difference in the competence; if anything, lower salaries might actually mean better management, as the managers won't be thinking of their godforsaken GREED first. It further behooves con-SER-va-tives to remember that so much of "business" is de facto socialized anyway.




Soupy Sales threw pies for a living.

The world needs people who can throw pies for a living.

Only the pies are happy today.

Thursday, October 22, 2009


First lady's popularity surpasses Obama's

Er, wasn't that the problem the last time?


[Home p]rices are roughly the same level they were in February 2005.

TRANSLATION: They're still too high.


A CHEAP STUNT:

For now, the artists are trying to find out what songs were played. They say they will explore legal options once the songs are known. It is unclear what, if any, recourse they may have. [LAST GRAF]

Besides, as anyone who's listened to CHEAP CHANNEL knows, pop music IS torture -- especially when it's BETWEEN ADS.

(Via the torture-prone AHTSJournal)


The weird story of ESPN's analyst alas reminds us that too many guys in SELIGISM aren't good ones.


If I had a dollar for every word newspapers cram into SPECIAL SECTIONS between the end of the LCS and the beginning of the final round of SELIGISM....

I could buy up STINKYINKY PUBLISHING CO. and retire its DEBT!


And on a subject that is dear to me, "civic pride", lately the clowns at CHEAP CHANNEL have not even done the minimum maintenance to their billboards in the poor neighborhood where I work, which got a little poorer when Obamamotors pulled the plug on a nearby Chrysler dealership. All that's left are the scarred remnants of several posters. I do not expect the minimum decency from the EXXONMOBIL OF RADIO, but don't those auto-dealing frauds realize they can be a negative force in their communities with their neglect? Or must the authorities remind them? I may e-mail our L&I.


I feel a little sad: One of our guys at work, a really good guy, gave me a big big greeting, and my gloom lifted, and I thought what a lunkhead I was to type what I typed, and I realized it wouldn't be bad at all for a bunch of Joes to celebrate their triumph, as they must have when the A's won their titles in the early Depression, when the players and fans came from the same neighborhoods, the same social class, the same families. There was a bond among people that doesn't exist anymore. That was what made baseball great, what made it the national pastime, and it has ceased to be great because it is no longer the people's game. Things had to change, but why did they have to change this way?

I did not have working guys in mind last night; no, I had the fair-weather fans in mind, the young upscale urbans, and especially the college cutups who use this as an excuse to get drunk, who had no real connection with our city before, and may never have one again after they "matriculate", and whom morons like EDDIE covet for their skanky HIPNESS.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


Archbishop John Hepworth, the twice-married Primate of the Traditional Anglican Communion....

I've not paid overattention to the Catholic Church's shrewd move to steal the Anglican Church's customers, as debates on religious doctrine wear on me like a rotary sander on metal, but however the Pope fixes it I can't see how he can let priests in one branch of his church remain celibate while grandfathering married priests. We suspect we will hear more when an African pope is chosen, and he must confront a church in danger of shrinking again.


ARCHDaily! presents an INTERNATIONAL ARCHITECTURE AWARDS WINNER!



OR: This is what happens when an accordion player tries fixing an HVAC system.


A certain singin' senator wants to take care of the INJUSTICE that is the BCS, and for once a certain yap at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue does the right thing:

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs declined to comment.




Earlier today in a certain popular West Coast news site appeared this unfortunate juxtaposition, and we were reluctant to post on it, but one should remember LALA can defend different types of cow splat in different ways, and one should also remember Jack Nelson was a highly-televised voice of liberal CW -- anyone who ever watched him on C-SPAN will know that -- and too many Jack Nelsons, whatever their reporting brilliance, turned our newspapers into cow splat.


President Obama says he may have a new Afghanistan strategy by the time the winner of the Nov. 7 runoff is known -- though when he will make it public is another question.

What's wrong with November 6?

2012.


Before we blame the pizza-eating Bernie too much, we must note that he and the Wall Street Casino share a few certain psychotic delusions -- like a belief in immortality, and all the law breaking that excuses.


Exclusive: Playboy Slashes Rate Base 38%

...oddly enough, to 1.5 million -- the same number as ZEITGEIST.

Isn't it time for Letch to bury the carcass?

(Via MediaBistro)


Morgan Stanley posts first profit of year

Couldn'ta done it without us! PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!


Today that local Brawny called Metro reminded us -- not up on its Web site, natch -- that we won't sleep tonight (though it is highly unlikely there'll be vandalism -- for an LCS win?) and that inspired us to a half-cocked thoroughly asinine idea: Seeing how professional sports teams grin over the damage their Blutos cause there's only one way to pay for it: a surcharge on beer, effective on Super Bowl Sunday or the first day of a World Series/NBA Finals/Stanley Cup (take your pick) through the end of the day for the victory parade. HOWEVER, there'd be an out; an eligible sports team could help its fans avoid the surcharge by putting up a suitably large-enough bond to pay for any costs associated with the rioti -- I mean, celebrating, on the first day of the season. The city would refund all costs if the team didn't win its title. But there would be a mandatory review if it did; and if the public officials determined the BLUTOS wreaked enough beer-inspired damage the surcharge would be PERMANENT -- and the team would still have to put up the bond. And make no mistake: most of the people who do the damage are NOT SOBER. To paraphrase what my dad would say, you piddle on your bed, you lie in it.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Elsewhere in SLIMEDOM:

Both teams are vying for victory in ALCS Game 4. (From the home-page squib)

No, one team wants to lose.

Although a 10-1 final says that might not have been out of the question.

P. S.

After he retired Torii Hunter on a weak grounder to end the eighth, thousands of fans stood up and left Angel Stadium, not sticking around for the final demise of their suddenly punchless club.

There is nothing more delicious than the thought of multitudes having paid hundreds of dollars each for nothing.


When Roger Friedman offers up a devastating review and John Simon offers up a rave the time has come for John Simon to retire.


Speaking of press releases, we can safely say when a certain suspense writer and the manager of Jim Webb's successful Senate campaign proposes reforming the press he is not being honest.


Today we cringed over "machines for regurgitating press releases." SLIME provides us with an A-1 press release. "[A] sparkling performance that has led to comparisons with Audrey Hepburn...." Here are two JERNALISTIC scourges: the passive construction and the anonymous attribution. "This month Time magazine proclaimed: 'Carey Mulligan: a star is born'." That is DICK "SYNERGY" CORLISS, and citing him is like FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News citing Fatso Moore as a bastion of truth. (It would have made our job easier if SLIME or the TWXSTERS distributed this masterwork -- alas not.) Apparently the M.O. here is to call this Sarah Bernhardt "gamine". Here is how the amateurs at the Wik define it:

Gamine is a French word, the feminine form of gamin, originally meaning urchin, waif or playful, naughty child.

The word was used in English from about the mid 19th century (for example, by Thackeray in 1840 in one of his Parisian sketches), but, in the 20th century, came to be applied in its more modern sense of a slim, often boyish, wide-eyed young woman who is, or is perceived to be, mischievous, teasing or sexually appealing.


We can agree this new sensation -- to our eyes, anyway -- is waiflike.



We cannot, however, resist posting yet another photo of this actress's inspiration. (And we'll even concede she wasn't uniformly photogenic, but in the last one we posted she certainly was.) We don't want to mock ac-TORS for their looks but dammit when SLIMES run press releases, press releases that, like all press releases, exist to deceive and condescend to the turnips they think meekly consume them, we have no choice.

P. S. on 10/21 at 11:11 a. m. Almost forgot -- and much as I don't want to post beauty after beauty...



A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO BEN!


And what is left of that urban art, or urban blight, depending on whom one asks, is likely to be scrubbed away....

Reason #26,273 The Paper of Re-CORD had to fire 100 yesterday.


Harry Reid plan: 'Vaporize' 2010 GOP opponent

Think of Harry as a whiny partisan version of Bud Selig. NUF SAID.


The modern burg that boasts of its sports champions has a profound case of self-pity.


SAVE THE TREES! On the train to work I sat next to a copy of the StinkyInky. Natch it was missing the sports section. On days like these the bankrupt fools should run a one-section sheaf. Such behavior must be common. It proves the hundred The Paper of Re-CORD is firing will not be missed except by some of their colleagues. Yesterday an NRO blogger called the news orgs "machines for regurgitating press releases". Why must trees die for press releases? Going back with the Wiki amateurs over our StinkyInky's history I learned it's gone broke possibly twice. Or as some anonymous typist typed:

A thirty-eight day strike in 1958 hurt The Inquirer and, after the strike ended, so many reporters had accepted buyout offers and left that the newsroom was noticeably empty. Furthermore, many current reporters had been copyclerks just before the strike and had little experience. One of the few star reporters of the 1950s and 60s was investigative reporter Harry Karafin. During his career Harry Karafin exposed corruption and other exclusive stories for The Inquirer, but also extorted money out of individuals and organizations. Karafin would claim he had harmful information and would demand money in exchange for the information not being made public. This went on from the late 1950s into the early 60s before Karafin was exposed in 1967 and convicted of extortion a year later.

Eight years later it started winning P-Ulitzers for political insider baseball and saving the snail darter. The StinkyInky's history should teach us that these rags can come back anew, greater pestilences than ever, but so many of the props are gone from under these profit-churning devices you wonder how they can stand. They will, unfortunately.

Monday, October 19, 2009




We are sorry to hear that Vic Mizzy has died. He was one of those "hacks" whom posterity reveals as not at all one, like Carl Stalling. He started out improbably enough as a teenage pop tunesmith -- he actually wrote a song for Lady Day, on which a liner-note writer once pounded, "[O]ne of the tritest melodies you'll hear this side of first grade." (And what did you write?) After a few hits he landed in Hollywood (Universal mostly, and under the guidance of Joseph Gershenson, who really did have a studio style) and became the King of B Scores, or rather the King of the Drive-In, a perfect underscoring foil for Don Knotts, and a musical voice of Filmways and its tacky sitcoms with those two theme songs -- you know -- whose fame actually obscures his musical wit and charm. Or as an Amazon.com reviewer has put it, "The only problem I have approaching a movie or tv show scored by Vic Mizzy is the almost certain knowledge that his score will be the best thing about it." And despite what that says, it's still a great compliment.


Who's going to crack the whip now that Columbia U has "suspended" its environmental jernalism program?

While the mating of environmentalism and reporters may not be the mating of Hitler and Goebbels, it is certainly the mating of LUKE SPIELBERG and CLAUDIA PIG -- PUIG. Jernalism has a smell, and to its practitioners the smell is not its own body odor.

(Via the usual Romy)


Pardon me, Effete Edelstein, is it reasonable to think that Neil Simon could have written for the ages -- any more than you can?

(Via the usual AHTSJournal)


Okay GEKKO KUDLOWS, why should the WALL STREET CASINO ONLY GO UP?

We're back to the same daydreaming as during THE MASSACRE RALLY -- and look what happened after that.

Also, I'm tired of HENRY HONEST's act too. Time to take my business somewhere else.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


I wish I'd learned it at the time, but now, I smile:

MLB on FOX averages record low 1.8 rating

For the third straight season, Major League Baseball drew record low ratings on broadcast.

FOX averaged a 1.8 rating for 26 MLB telecasts during the 2009 season, down 10% from a 2.0 last year, down 22% from a 2.3 in '07, and the lowest average ever for regular season Major League Baseball coverage on broadcast television. This marks the fifth straight season that regular season ratings have declined on broadcast.
(Emphasis added)

WORSE (or should we say, BETTER!!!!!):

The 1.8 average for MLB on FOX trails the NBA regular season on ABC (2.3), NASCAR on FOX (5.1), NASCAR on ABC (3.3 through Sunday), and third and final round coverage of the PGA on NBC (2.4) and CBS (1.9), excluding majors. (Emphasis again added)

So in 2009, SELIGISM is America's No. 5 TV sport. Way to go, BUD!

P. S. This is also, it should go without saying, FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Sports' "lowest figure in its 14 seasons televising baseball", which shouldn't prevent SLIME from paying through the nose -- AGAIN. Better off buying TWITTER, mate.


SAMMY GLICK...MAN makes it official -- he's QUITTING!

What obsequious pol is NEXT?


More amazing: POLITICO.COM beat the trades -- and SUPERNIKKI!!!!! and SHARON!!!!! too!

POLITICO: Your First Source for Entertainment News!™

P. S.

Possible names include California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, former Rep. Harold Ford Jr., Universal Music lobbyist Matt Gerson, Rep. Howard Berman (D-Calif.), a longtime friend of Glickman’s....

Potential industry toadies all!

“That job is a gut-busting job,” says Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah). “You’re traveling all the time, you’re always in the limelight, you’re always working on very intricate and difficult matters with a lot of very interesting personalities — some of whom aren’t easy to get along with.”

MPAA boss Orrin Hatch said today....

Pffffffffffffffffffffffffft!

P. P. S. SAMMY GLICK...MAN has been SO SUCCESSFUL AT ANTI-PIRACY EFFORTS!!!!! (so says Your First Source for Entertainment News™) the MPAA's FIRED three senior anti-piracy officials!

Please -- MORE such successes! (Via -- TORRENT FREAK!)


The catastrophe of Toyota's floor mats shows that perhaps high-tech has its limits. When I first heard this story I thought, why not shut off the engine? You have to hold a button on a fob for at least three seconds. Or in other words:

The shutdown procedure reflects a larger problem: As auto manufacturers adopt increasingly complex electronic features, it becomes more difficult to explain how they work, said Paul Green, a human factors expert at the University of Michigan's Transportation Research Institute. A study by the institute found that in some cases, owners manuals would have to run up to 1,000 pages to fully disclose everything.

"In the past, systems were pretty simple," Green said. "You put a key in the lock and turn it. Now we have a fob with functionality."


TRANSLATION: The BUGMEISTERS ARE building automobiles. And that's no joke.


If it's Sunday it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:

1. Women's Health Is Ad Age's Magazine of the Year

What?!? The Crainiacs didn't give the award to some junk celeb title or overrated literary sheaf?

2. What to Expect From Chrysler's Marketing Chief: Provocative Ads

Can sex and slobs really sell Fiat's tin cans?

3. Local TV Garners Revenue From Obituaries

Why not? It long specialized in bleedin' 'n' leadin', so why not focus on the outcomes?


We ought, then, to stop kidding ourselves that painstakingly developed artistic technique is passé, a value left over from our grandparents’ culture. Evidence is all around us. Even when we have lost contact with the social or religious ideas behind the arts of bygone civilizations, we are still able, as with the great bronzes or temples of Greece or ancient China, to respond directly to craftsmanship. The direct response to skill is what makes it possible to find beauty in many tribal arts even though we often know nothing about the beliefs of the people who created them. There is no place on earth where superlative technique in music and dance is not regarded as beautiful.

The appreciation of contemporary conceptual art, on the other hand, depends not on immediately recognizable skill, but on how the work is situated in today’s intellectual zeitgeist. That’s why looking through the history of conceptual art after Duchamp reminds me of paging through old New Yorker cartoons. Jokes about Cadillac tailfins and early fax machines were once amusing, and the same can be said of conceptual works like Piero Manzoni’s 1962 declaration that Earth was his art work, Joseph Kosuth’s 1965 “One and Three Chairs” (a chair, a photo of the chair and a definition of “chair”) or Mr. Hirst’s medicine cabinets. Future generations, no longer engaged by our art “concepts” and unable to divine any special skill or emotional expression in the work, may lose interest in it as a medium for financial speculation and relegate it to the realm of historical curiosity.


TRANSLATION: "You had to be there" is one hell of an ideological construct for AHT.

(Via the annoying AHTSJournal)


Why would The Daily Kaplan and The Paper of Re-CORD be feuding? Aren't they both better than their readers?

It seems both rags are "feuding" thanks to THE SA-LOHN and its aftermath. I'd like to see them both into a fight over who can make more errors. Neither side would raise a fist.


In Miami:

“If you’re thinking you can come here and buy and sell condos for a profit in less than five years, you’re sadly mistaken,” said McCabe, whose clients have included Credit Suisse Group AG and Pulte Homes Inc., the largest U.S. homebuilder. “You need a seven- to 10-year range.”

Prices could fall to $100 a foot, less than half the cost of construction, and a value not seen in 20 years, he said.


Okay GEKKO KUDLOWS, why is the stock market up and up forever?

“Condos were extremely attractive because you could put down a modest down payment and leverage it extremely high,” Brad Hunter, chief economist for Metrostudy, a Houston-based real estate research company, said from his office in West Palm Beach. “If you were investing between ‘03 and ‘05, you were able to see 100 or 200 percent appreciation. Ninety percent or more of it was speculation.”

TRANSLATION: Condos are built with steel, concrete and hot air.


What bugs me about our current spate of civic pride is that it could go on for eight or nine years. Boston became insufferable after two or three seasons in several sports. Any city that wills itself into megalomania after consecutive sports championships becomes an ass to the world. And Boston is a great city, with lots for legitimate pride, although little since Kennedy (except for high-tech, and that mostly in its burbs). Philadelphia has less reason than Boston to be insufferable. Let's remember that even amidst these immortal triumphs.


Is politics just an acceptable form of intolerance?


Under the banner of JonBoy, whose honorary Unitarianism qualifies him to speak of religion, The Daily Broccoli -- KAPLAN also tells us that R. Crumb, the "underground" cartoonist (about as underground as broccoli), has "adapted" the Bible, and its typist is disappointed:

The big difference between this book and Crumb's other work is that there's no comedy, except on the dustjacket, which lures potential buyers with an ironic: "Adult Supervision Recommended for Minors," and "The first book of the Bible graphically depicted! NOTHING LEFT OUT!" That's Crumb's sense of humor, and it's the last you'll see of it. He tells the story the way it's always been told.

We, unlike a Daily Bro -- KAPLAN typist, must wonder if R.'s sense of humor vanished many breasts ago. If you've seen two R. Crumb nipples you've seen 'em all.

One other thing -- if R. zapped the poor, uneducated, easy to command, etc., etc., etc., we wonder if this scribbler from the same educational testing firm that gives us "CHICKEN" ZAKARIA wouldn't be on the floor in total hysterics. Maybe that's the reason R. decided against it.



Broccoli and CHICKEN -- they do go together.


TRANSLATION: The next governor of Virginia is disqualified thanks to his thesis.



Yes BROCCOLI, you should follow that Atlanta paper and stop running endorsements.

Saturday, October 17, 2009


In the city that has the 2016 GAMES -- and can keep them:

Drug traffickers shot down a police helicopter during a gunbattle between rival gangs Saturday, killing two officers and injuring four in a burst of violence just two weeks after the city was chosen to host the 2016 Olympic Games....

Rio police frequently use helicopters to take on gangs that dominate drug trafficking in the city's more than 1,000 slums, but were unable to say whether this was the first time one of their helicopters had been shot down by gang members.


More crusading reporting from the ASSPress:

ConAgra spreads some Parkay love with iPhone app

OMAHA, Neb. (AP) -- ConAgra Foods wants to reinvent the classic advertising argument over how its Parkay margarine compares to butter with an iPhone application.

The ConAgra app uses the iPhone's voice recognition capability to trigger the distinctive "Parkaaaaay" response whenever the user says words like "butter" and "milk."

The free app recalls the classic Parkay television ads of the 1970s, '80s and '90s involving a talking tub of margarine.

A senior brand manager for Omaha-based ConAgra, Jeff Muench, says he hopes the app will help renew interest in Parkay and make people laugh.

On the Net:

ConAgra Foods Inc.: http://www.conagra.com

Parkay app: http://www.tinyurl.com/parkayapp


Imagine: Zillions in high-tech so people can recreate an annoying TV commercial -- and untold hundreds of thousands of JERNALISTS who MUST tell us about it.

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