Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Saturday, October 03, 2009

    Posted 1:20 PM by Gene

    We've taken this ASSPress story and substituted our answers for theirs:

    Q: How much does it cost to put on an Olympics?

    A lot more than public officials are willing to anger the peons with.

    Q: Is there an economic benefit that comes with all those costs?

    If you're an expense-padding contractor or a parasitic consultant.

    Q: How are those [economic-benefit] figures compiled?

    With an abacus, two sixty-year-old adding machines and a bug-infested ten-year-old computer.

    Q: How accurate are those economic models?

    A: Not very.

    We'll stop there; the ASSPress provided its own good answer.

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