Posted 11:43 AM by Gene

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!! Recently we mentioned BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ' attempt to immortalize himself with The Great Gatsby, and now the casting's public: AUDREY HEPBURN II is playing Daisy. NO NO NO NO NO!!!!! It's far worse than Mia Farrow, who at least was cute once. Where do these hacks get the unbudgeable idea she's attractive? For Daisy to sweep James Gatz off his feet she must be ultraspectacular. That she's something of an airhead does not at all detract from that. Would he even notice Audrey at one of his wild parties? She'd be the wallflower. And Leonardo's playing James. NO NO NO NO NO!!!!! The only person who could ever have played him was the young Bing Crosby. Think I'm wrong? In his early years he was agreeably flippant and lighter than air, a go-getting optimist with a ready smile, and enigmatic too, just like Gatz. (Being every man's pal and every woman's lover would not hurt.) Leonardo merely looks effete. He also looks dull, and Gatz was not dull. SPIDER-MAN's playing Nick, which means no matter how good he is he's still SPIDER-MAN. No mention of who's playing Daisy's husband Tom, which suggests BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ is ready to screw up big time -- to the sound of ooohs and aaahs from the Gang of 27, and the usual rave reviews.

Which raises another thing: Gatsby's famous for its elusive, sideways understatement. Is this quite the right property for the creator of MOULIN ROUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

P. S. For what it's worth, Warner Baxter, who played the title role in the lost 1926 silent version, doesn't look like him either. Neither did Alan Ladd. Robert Redford was closer but I think he's missing a certain spunk, although he might have worked quite well as the sardonic Nick.

Come to think of it, the young Fred Astaire could have played Jay Gatsby too -- with the advantage of dancing feet.