Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

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Thursday, February 10, 2011

Posted 7:16 PM by Gene

“While unemployment is a terrible circumstance for individuals and families, I am sure some companies believe they are better off with fewer people and are hiding behind a supposedly weak economy to keep their ranks thin, focusing instead on greater productivity from their current employees and ensuing higher margins,” said Stephen Weiss of Short Hills Capital.

TRANSLATION: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

“The stock market can do fine in the face of weak employment because that’s the very thing that insures continued Fed accommodation,” said James Iuorio, managing director of TJM Institutional Services. “As counterintuitive as it seems, weakness in the labor market and in the housing market are providing fuel for the stock market rally.”

FURTHER TRANSLATION: [I was going to use a picture of the devil as a laughing businessman but they all seem to be owned by one company that puts a big fat WATERMARK on them.]

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