THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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"How to explain Taylor to younger readers," muses Carter. "For comparison's sake, there is really no one on today's screens who comes close. Try to imagine a star who combines the talent of a Meryl Streep with the beauty of Nicole Kidman, the sensuality of a Penélope Cruz, and the notoriety of a Lindsay Lohan (although in a much higher-class way, and without the public displays of private parts and vomiting). Magnify that a hundredfold, and you're still only halfway to Elizabeth Taylor."
Which is why every new starlet on his cover combines the talent of...oh, never mind.