Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Saturday, March 26, 2011

    Posted 11:01 PM by Gene

    Speaking of bullhockey, the flip side of this SYNERGY-inspired POS from the House of JARVIS is the actresses who were punished for not doffing their clothes out of principle. The sons of the fraud JEFF also seem to have forgotten casting couches. We'll never hear those stories.

    P. S. in the comments, from someone named "Anonymous" (an EWWWWWWWWWWW! staffer with a guilty conscience, or maybe JOHN "HOOEY" HUEY?):

    This entire list is a joke, but then we all know EW has lousy tastes when it comes to making any kind of a list.

    Unfortunately when it comes to making money PEOPLE WARNER MAGAZINES has THE BEST TASTES.

    According to another comment JEFF's boys may have done some reader snark pruning, thanks to the overwhelming smell of SYNERGY.

    I repeat a demand of two years ago: Shut down all your rags except PEOPLE, HOOEY HUEY, and spin it off in an IPO. You think I'm kidding? I'd bet PEOPLE would bring in more than the rag division's worth.

    Well, all right -- they could throw in SI for free.

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