THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
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It's unclear if the increase in unit sales translated to a bump in dollar sales, which SoundScan does not track. [*] Lady Gaga, for example, has sold 1.5 million copies of "Born This Way," but some of those were purchased for 99 cents from an Amazon.com promotion. The album normally sells for $7.99 for a digital download or $15.99 for a physical CD.
Better news:
Catalog album sales showed a 7% hike, which offset a 4% drop in sales of current albums.
Best news: The movee excretion biz had its worst first-half domestic attendance in fifteen years. THE SLUMP IS OVER!!!!!
P. S.
Lastly, not that I want to make any further sweeping statements about the state of the music industry, but I will point out that “E.T.” by Katy Perry tops the chart for the best selling digital song for the first six months of 2011, with 4.1 million downloads. I’ll leave it to you to draw your own conclusions from this fact.
I think I know what it means.
*Which didn't prevent USAOKAY.COM!!!!! from home-page blurbing:
Or rather:
MUSIC SALES SKYROCKET THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Skyrocketing overemphasis added]
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO USAOKAY.COM!!!!!
(I was forced into a screenshot as the line doesn't show up on Google News.)