THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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We haven't needed the ARCH to read of the Lord God Steve's SPACESHIP, and the same nooz industry that has scratched the Lord's back repeatedly has given Him some pretty nice oohs and aahs about it; but does anyone here remember -- the Skyscraper Index? And what is the Lord God's Spaceship but a huge circular skyscraper on its side? And what further is it but a ground-hogging CIRCULAR PENTAGON? We would do wise not to doubt Stevedom's permanent prosperity but does this building going up herald a final end to all the Wall Street Casino gas about a TRILLION-DOLLAR COMPANY?