Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Posted 9:00 AM by Gene

DC COMICS PICTURES' publishing stub is having a problem: people aren't buying its comics anymore. Long before JEFF BEW-KES knew what a DC COMICS was its masters had already killed off Superman four times and changed Wonder Woman's corset thrice. The buyers were wise. The resident geeks even thought in 1985 of renumbering their comics editions starting with 1 but that was long before MR. BEW-KES knew what a PEOPLE WARNER was and could safely be judged a stupid idea. But now with ROWLINGCORP gone and Green Lantern turning red the stub is under great synergistic pressure to deliver. So it's come up with a new stupid idea: Comic books on iPads. I want to see the geeks collecting them. Can the brave artists of Burbank electronically revive their sainted treasures before the EVIL BEW-KES unleashes a bloodbath the likes of which the comics industry's never seen?!?!? That sounds more exciting than its rags. Hey JEFF! Start a new series -- and call it THE INVISIBLE BEW-KES AND HIS DWARFS.

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