Posted 1:38 PM by Gene

A trivia question: What happened on August 2, 1923? Well Warren Gamaliel Harding died. The state press banded together in mindless mourning because it then was reliably Republican. Had USAOKAY!!!!! existed then it would have run a hed like this:

HARDING: STATESMAN OF GREATNESS

The mourning vanished a year later.

We thought of this because today the front page of The Nation's "News"paper inflicted itself upon us in two ways: First it said God created a POP-CULTURE REVOLUTION!!!!! Someone remind GanNETt, what's good for God is NOT good for GanNETt. We suppose God started this revolution because He invented the iPod, the GanNETtoids forgetting He invented a better version of the Walkman. In any case that led us to second -- a big hed saying, "ARE COLLEGE FOOTBALL RIVALRIES GETTING OUT OF HAND??????????" If so it's because college sports are another BIGMEDIA division, and a BIG profit center. Nevin couldn't have virtually run Miami if the skool hadn't decided winning at all costs would be good for its ratings. That distorts everyone's reason; thus fans become borderline psychopaths and poison trees. That people of multiple football loyalties can come together to save those trees is no thanks to BIGMEDIA and its profit center.

Speaking of Harding, here's Menck in a previously unpublished diatribe:

Certainly no man ever passed into the Eternal Vacuum to the tune of more astonishing rhetoric. The Associated Press dispatches, printed...during the ghastly progress of the funeral train, were not merely eloquent; they were downright maudlin. They gurgled; they snuffled; the moaned. Whoever wrote them is a supreme master of bilge.

True in 1923; true today.