Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Posted 10:56 AM by Gene

We have complained before that show-biz hacks know little of their industry's history, all the better to banter annoying hyperbole. No doubt this masterwork's producers had all their publicists lined up for "4D" and could bank on pliant hacks not knowing Mike Todd's son did the same thing fifty-one years ago and bombed with it. Smell-O-Vision won't work because it can't rid movee houses of the skunk smell coming from the screens.

P. S. Ramona and Lindsay were so busy selling the picture they neglected one thing: to describe how the gimmick works. "4D" uses scratch-and-sniff cards, not the fan-wafted perfumes of Smell-O-Vision. This PR doesn't even qualify for a Neuharthism of the Week Award.

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