THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, July 12, 2003
High on my list of GET A LIFE types are comic-book aficionados; they've helped turn what at best was an agreeable time-killer into an "art" form, full of pretensions and neuroses. And the rags aren't even that well drawn; look at a wall full of comic books at a distance (as I did today at a comic-book store) and you see one boldly-colored airbrushed jumbled indecipherable mess. These people also share a considerable part of a circle in a Venn diagram with another GET A LIFE type, the fantasy-game fan (but then the fantasy game and the comic book and the Web have melded into a world of pointless time-consuming obsessions of its own). Highest on my GET A LIFE list is any writer, particularly a BLUNDER writer, who calls a comic book creator a "genius." Needless to say a new Valenti based on said genius's comic book has not exactly inspired the most fulsome critical encomiums, nor is it causing a stampede at the box office. You can get out all the Ph.Ds and write all the fancy disserations you want; in the end, comic books STINK, and so does the rest of our similiarly woebegotten pop culture. (Of course one of the biggies in comic books is AOL. Has the company thought of unloading that business? Alas, I fear not; it's part of licensing.)
Here's another story with more than a tinge of melancholy. Vegas has long been the town of the has-been. What will happen when these old troupers depart? Will it be all anonymous spectaculars?
There is a certain melancholy in honoring a living president who is, in a very real sense, no longer among the living -- my mother has Alzheimer's, so I know -- but there was no better tribute than the words the former First Lady used to christen the new aircraft carrier that bears Ronald Reagan's name:
Man the ship and bring her to life.
Aye aye ma'am, just as the sailors said.
Man the ship and bring her to life.
Aye aye ma'am, just as the sailors said.
I have a problem with baseball attaching something as significant as home-field advantage in the World Series to an exhibition, which is what the All-Star Game is. To me, this is a gimmick and baseball should be above gimmicks.
Oh really? The sport with the cookie-cutter old-timey stadiums? The sport with interleague play? The sport with the DH? The sport with sausage mascots and electronic umpire's helpers and SELIG SIGNS®? The sport with clever accounting? Oh yes, baseball should definitely be above gimmicks.
Oh really? The sport with the cookie-cutter old-timey stadiums? The sport with interleague play? The sport with the DH? The sport with sausage mascots and electronic umpire's helpers and SELIG SIGNS®? The sport with clever accounting? Oh yes, baseball should definitely be above gimmicks.
News hacks' favorite routine is being totalitarians. Their next favorite routine is being ad agency executives. Their next favorite routine is watching people die.
Yep, to paraphrase the beloved hypocrite Joseph Pulitzer, newshacks comfort the comfortable and afflict the afflicted.
I intend to post this every time news hacks run a story like this, which probably means every blasted day.
Yep, to paraphrase the beloved hypocrite Joseph Pulitzer, newshacks comfort the comfortable and afflict the afflicted.
I intend to post this every time news hacks run a story like this, which probably means every blasted day.
Why don't book publishers stop publishing anything that can't be a bestseller? Then they could concentrate on their sole business -- marketing -- and leave the rest to the Web and vanity presses.
That's almost the way the book biz is headed.
That's almost the way the book biz is headed.
From a high-paying manufacturing job to running a water-ice shop.
The likes of LEGENDARY Welch will never stop smiling.
The likes of LEGENDARY Welch will never stop smiling.
HOWELL WAS FIRED!!!!!
How could Pinch (he hates the name) have done that to the greatest editor of all time?
How could Pinch (he hates the name) have done that to the greatest editor of all time?
In news suites all over America, amidst the expensive organic meals and the expensive exercise equipment, amidst the highest high-end computers and the jungles of palm plants, amidst the tread of the finest wool carpeting and the designer wallpaper and $10 bottles of water, a cry goes up:
It's working! It's working! THE PEOPLE ARE FALLING FOR OUR LINE!!!!!
It's working! It's working! THE PEOPLE ARE FALLING FOR OUR LINE!!!!!
Friday, July 11, 2003
This is too good:
If cable news channels were wristwatches, CNN would be Rolex and Fox News Channel would be Timex, CNN chief Jim Walton explained to critics at Summer TV Press Tour 2003 here today.
You sure you didn't get it at eBay?
Fox News Channel claims it is Rolex and that CNN is "more like an antique hourglass."
Where do you buy your hourglasses?
If cable news channels were wristwatches, CNN would be Rolex and Fox News Channel would be Timex, CNN chief Jim Walton explained to critics at Summer TV Press Tour 2003 here today.
You sure you didn't get it at eBay?
Fox News Channel claims it is Rolex and that CNN is "more like an antique hourglass."
Where do you buy your hourglasses?
I don't know why BzumBzumBzum is in such a lather over Kate Hepburn, unless her recent death reminds ol' Bzum that he's done some very foolish things for which he's guilty of insufficient reflection. (It could well be her conventionally liberal politics, but Bzum if so, you're just as bad as the hacks who'd lionize her solely for them. Can't we keep that grubby business out of this?) Honest Bzum, it was healthy when grand stars like Miss Hepburn weren't deep thinkers. Now the news hacks turn every rapper into Milton. At least Kate had fun, un-self-conscious fun, which is more than I can say for the deep-non-thinking "geniuses" we're inflicted with these days.
Washington Area Gets Two Free Tabloids
And one is from BuffettMedia, meaning Warren must smell burning newsprint in his future.
And one is from BuffettMedia, meaning Warren must smell burning newsprint in his future.
Panel: Shuttles Should Be Treated as Test Vehicles
Wasn't a big reason for the Orbiting Jalopy that it would be the Yellow Freight of space? Why bother with it now if we're so afraid of flying it? LET'S SCRAP THE SHUTTLE AND START OVER.
Wasn't a big reason for the Orbiting Jalopy that it would be the Yellow Freight of space? Why bother with it now if we're so afraid of flying it? LET'S SCRAP THE SHUTTLE AND START OVER.
One of the hard-core knee-jerk conservative's favorite tantrums is over "junk science." "Junk science" causes all sorts of zillion-dollar nuisance lawsuits and weakens free enterprise. John Stossel became the darling biased newshack of the right by specializing in junk science. Granted, there's too much politics to science -- witness global warming, or breast implants -- but maybe not every lawsuit involving science is a nuisance.
Well, well, well! That @#$%&* Iraqi National Museum was "turned into a major military defensive position by Iraqi forces":
In plain violation of the Hague Convention of 1954, Iraqi fighters occupied the museum complex and used it as a combat position for at least three days after museum staff had fled. Neighborhood residents corroborated the charges made by American forces that the Americans had come under attack from inside the museum grounds and that fighting in the area was heavy. Even as they criticized the Americans for not protecting their national treasures, Iraqi witnesses to the looting said that Saddam Hussein’s forces had turned the museum into a small arsenal.
So even if the @#$%&* MUSEUM lost 170,000 pieces (which it did not), SADDAM's actions were to blame. Hope no one shows this to the late Howell. He may have conniptions.
In plain violation of the Hague Convention of 1954, Iraqi fighters occupied the museum complex and used it as a combat position for at least three days after museum staff had fled. Neighborhood residents corroborated the charges made by American forces that the Americans had come under attack from inside the museum grounds and that fighting in the area was heavy. Even as they criticized the Americans for not protecting their national treasures, Iraqi witnesses to the looting said that Saddam Hussein’s forces had turned the museum into a small arsenal.
So even if the @#$%&* MUSEUM lost 170,000 pieces (which it did not), SADDAM's actions were to blame. Hope no one shows this to the late Howell. He may have conniptions.
[F]or liberal Democrats, America's strategic interests are not just an irrelevance, but a deterrent to intervention. This is a perversity born of moral vanity. For liberals, foreign policy is social work. National interest--i.e., national selfishness--is a taint. The only justified interventions, therefore, are those which are morally pristine, namely, those which are uncorrupted by any suggestion of national interest.
Hence the central axiom of left-liberal foreign policy: The use of American force is always wrong, unless deployed in a region of no strategic significance to the United States.
No to Iraq, yes to Liberia. In that "perverse" way it does make sense.
Hence the central axiom of left-liberal foreign policy: The use of American force is always wrong, unless deployed in a region of no strategic significance to the United States.
No to Iraq, yes to Liberia. In that "perverse" way it does make sense.
Thursday, July 10, 2003
American troops could be in Iraq four years from now, Franks tells Congress
NEWS HACKS: Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.
ME: If that's what it takes, that's what it takes.
NEWS HACKS: Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.
ME: If that's what it takes, that's what it takes.
NASA says it has too many astronauts
NASA has too many people who want to put the Orbiting Jalopy back into space.
NASA has too many people who want to put the Orbiting Jalopy back into space.
Disney runs ANOTHER mea culpa. HONEST guys (and you guys aren't), why must you insult our intelligence like this?
Many 12th-graders write poorly
Many news hacks and novelists write poorly too. Moral: Write poorly and you too can earn big bucks.
Many news hacks and novelists write poorly too. Moral: Write poorly and you too can earn big bucks.
However did we progress from Melville and Hawthorne to literary lights who can’t write so much as a mildly entertaining paragraph? Who wouldn’t recognize a joke if it lit an exploding cigar for them?
Goooooooooooood question!
Goooooooooooood question!
The left is back in the saddle!!!!!
But shucks, if that saddle doesn't have one painful burr:
But for Democrats who remember the Republican landslides of 1972 and 1984, when liberal Democrats George McGovern and Walter F. Mondale led the party to humiliating defeats, the prominence of the left this year is an omen.
Maybe that's why one of the hacks insisted recently that Nancy Pelosi is a "pragmatist." Maybe that's also why liberals must call themselves "progressives."
ONWARD TO HUMILIATING DEFEAT!
But shucks, if that saddle doesn't have one painful burr:
But for Democrats who remember the Republican landslides of 1972 and 1984, when liberal Democrats George McGovern and Walter F. Mondale led the party to humiliating defeats, the prominence of the left this year is an omen.
Maybe that's why one of the hacks insisted recently that Nancy Pelosi is a "pragmatist." Maybe that's also why liberals must call themselves "progressives."
ONWARD TO HUMILIATING DEFEAT!
I am heartened to see that National Review suggests we "assault" corporate welfare, for once -- and as a centerpiece of fiscal prudence, no less.
That article on how things are going reasonably well in Afghanistan was obviously too much for the news suite down in Arlington, for today we get another big dose of QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When a man whose chief distinction as secretary of state was pivoting his head back and forth and going "ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" warns of "chaos," I think we can safely ignore him.
One might also ask, where were all these high-powered Babbitts before? Schmoozing with Gov. Davis?
One might also ask, where were all these high-powered Babbitts before? Schmoozing with Gov. Davis?
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
Remember that Marine corporal who caused a deafening collective scream of horror from news hacks when he draped an American flag on the statue of Saddam Hussein? WELL, today he threw out the first pitch at a Mets game, and shall we say his response there was considerably more favorable.
Several months back I commented on how Miller Brewing, once owned by Altria MOtive, now owned by some South African brewer, had "way-up[ped] the sex in its ads." Well, the results are in: Miller Lite sales declined by 2.5% -- "exactly what you might have expected," as this columnist remarks. People know when they're being beaten over the head, and because of their already tempestuous love affair with Big Media, they're starting to wear psychical helmets. I will postulate for the umpteenth time that ADVERTISING HURTS SALES, because 1) it finances junk television; 2), it's the front-line offense of big business, which most Americans (save hard-core conservatives and Republicans) despise; and 3) it triggers reverse psychology.
WHEN WILL THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS SEEK HELP FOR ITS OBSESSION?
WHEN WILL THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS SEEK HELP FOR ITS OBSESSION?
The European food fight has taken on a new dimension of absurdity, but the good news is, it's self-inflicted. At least they're not throwing brautwurst and souffles at US.
We can start chortling now news hacks, cause in a couple of months, we might be able to break out in another great big spasm of uproarious laughter at the riots we start.
Speaking of greatness, Mrs. Gilberal has done some word processing that would have sent Harold Ross (no relation, one hopes) to the sanitarium to recover.
The greatest wordsmith since Shakespeare -- nay, greater -- has been accused of what some might call -- PLAGIARISM. Luckily, being news hacks, and accustomed to great flights of fancy ourselves, we can call it for what it is: INSPIRATION.
U.S. Approves Direct Aid to Palestinian Authority
If I knew how to do it, I'd accompany this link with the sound of a toilet flushing.
If I knew how to do it, I'd accompany this link with the sound of a toilet flushing.
Democrats and news hacks (there's a difference?) want a "probe" into Dubya's heinous uranium lie, but to the immortal shame of a great nation, the Republicans have a Congressional majority.
Every time one of our soldiers dies in Iraq the news hacks harp on it for days and try to create a SCAAAAAAAAARE to screw up our foreign policy and convince us who's really the boss. But when a story like this comes along, they always remember the formula: 100 Bangladeshis = .25 American. It will never change.
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
Virginia had a fit because the "political discourse" is dominated by people who scream a lot. Does she recall the story of Andy Jackson's wife? Heck Tom Paine was a pretty hot-tempered guy himself. Of course the difference between Paine and the Michael Moore of the right, Ann Coulter, and the Ann Coulter of the left, Michael Moore, is that a) Paine was one of the most brilliant poltical writers of any time, and b) the tantrum throwers can't create sentences longer than five words without their brains seizing up. Of course one reason we have the screaming meemies is that for decades the news biz was dominated by total bores like the late Scotty Reston and the seemingly late David Broder, who couldn't write a sentence without nodding off. Besides, how can you discuss certain topics without achieving a frenzy? I agree, though, there is a bit too much of the sideshow and the flashing red light to this current crop of maniacs -- but that's far more a function of our show-bizzy society, not our politics.
News hackery with a smirk: One of CURLEY's (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) hacks tries to SCAAAAAAAAAAARE us by saying the number of our war dead is nearing Gulf War I. The cream pie at CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) is: 1. The Gulf War figure was 147 -- extremely low by historical standards; 2) Though 29 have died since the official cessation of hostilities, that is about 15 a month -- hardly an earth-shattering figure, except to the obsessively oppositional news hacks; 3. COUNTING NON-COMBAT DEAD (which CURLEY [Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!] doesn't want to as it puts him in a bad light) total war dead are still far behind Gulf War I. People who at this very minute are having angry debates over how many died in that shooting in Mississippi and who will give us conflicting numbers until next week are hardly to be trusted when it comes to the accuracy of anything.
Let the drums roll out!
Let the trumpet call!
While the people shout --
PEE-tah is an AMERICAN!!!!!
(Apologies to George and Ira Gershwin. NONE to PEE-tah.)
Let the trumpet call!
While the people shout --
PEE-tah is an AMERICAN!!!!!
(Apologies to George and Ira Gershwin. NONE to PEE-tah.)
The rational thing for news hacks to do is to ignore press releases like this -- but as practically every big news story since Gulf War I has demonstrated, news hacks are not rational. As for the excuse that, well, we gotta run this to goose sales, don't these idiots realize that a growing number of fed up news consumers get mad at the puff pieces?
Stories like this and this, and our blase reaction to them, show we're willing to tolerate mass killings as a condition of modern life. Am I the only person on the planet who finds that vaguely objectionable?
P. S. More celebrated news-hack superaccuracy: Hours into the first story news hacks still can't decide whether it's five dead or six.
P. S. More celebrated news-hack superaccuracy: Hours into the first story news hacks still can't decide whether it's five dead or six.
WHEN WILL GOOGLEBLOGGER STOP WITH THE HICCUPS?!?!?
U.S. Lacks Bureaucrats to Fight Bioterror - Report
I've got a better headline, Maggie Fox of Reuters: How about
U.S. Lacks Bureaucrats to Fight __________ - Report
It's always that way. (Hey, at least you admit they're bureaucrats.)
I've got a better headline, Maggie Fox of Reuters: How about
U.S. Lacks Bureaucrats to Fight __________ - Report
It's always that way. (Hey, at least you admit they're bureaucrats.)
Biden Thinks He Can Win in '04
So let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is -- sorry, I was thinking of somebody else.
So let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is -- sorry, I was thinking of somebody else.
Now the ever-gloating GENERAL JR. conjures the excuse that the tech's changing so fast, why, today's media giants might not be here in fifteen years.
Hey GENERAL JR., Warner Bros. has gone from Vitaphone to DSL -- and IT'S STILL HERE!
Obviously GENERAL JR. never heard of cockroaches.
Hey GENERAL JR., Warner Bros. has gone from Vitaphone to DSL -- and IT'S STILL HERE!
Obviously GENERAL JR. never heard of cockroaches.
PRINCESS WONDERSLUT! Er...SUPERBRAT! Er...THE FABULOUS AIRHEAD! Er....
And to think it was just yesterday that England had its nervous breakdown.
A suggestion to Buckingham Palace: Have you looked into acquiring the rights?
And to think it was just yesterday that England had its nervous breakdown.
A suggestion to Buckingham Palace: Have you looked into acquiring the rights?
Another charmed news hack reclines in his leather chair, props his feet up on his expensive desk, takes a sip from his Perrier, remembers that he earns more than 98 percent of his readers, and breaks a big fat trendy gust of wind.
You don't suppose the Paul Allaires and Richard Lays and Bernie Ebberses and etcs., etcs., etcs. have something to do with the backlash against excessive CEO pay, do you?
Prosecutors say they need more time to decide whether to charge Bryant [Front-page head]
Do these folks have a case?
Do these folks have a case?
Well, you learn something new every day: The Ford Foundation, where leftist social experimentation is Job 1, is run by Paul Allaire, the Xerox fraudster and Clinton suck-up -- a fitting match, both ways. Oh, and he keeps his job despite his fraud.
Forbes.com insists on using this quote in a pop-up:
"In the days of Caesar, kings had fools and jesters. Now network presidents have anchormen."
--Ted Koppel
Let's re-word that: in the days of Caesar, fools and jesters had kings. Now fools and jesters have RUPERT!!!!!!!!!! and Sumner and Lord Koppel of Eisner, who use the fools and jesters to control the people.
"In the days of Caesar, kings had fools and jesters. Now network presidents have anchormen."
--Ted Koppel
Let's re-word that: in the days of Caesar, fools and jesters had kings. Now fools and jesters have RUPERT!!!!!!!!!! and Sumner and Lord Koppel of Eisner, who use the fools and jesters to control the people.
In another land of QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!, people have picnics, which they couldn't do before the threat of QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Faced between people having picnics and not having picnics, I fear the news hacks would choose against picnics by default.
Faced between people having picnics and not having picnics, I fear the news hacks would choose against picnics by default.
Oh, oh, Richard "ADVERTISEMENT" Corliss, that would-be killer was a MATRIX freak.
What's good for AOL...or should we be dusting off Tom Lehrer's old song, "Who's Next"? Huh, ADVERTISEMENT?
Thankfully, an very wan echo of ADVERTISEMENT comes to AOL's rescue. Repeat after me: TWEN-ty MIL-lion PEO-ple WATCHED the MO-vie with-OUT e-VENT...which means we can excuse the nascent psychos.
This is JUST like the people who eructate, "You can turn the TV off." Yes, BUT WHO CAN TURN TV OFF?
This also demonstrates that the covert plagiarism of the conventional wisdom is worse than overt plagiarism, news hacks to the contrary.
What's good for AOL...or should we be dusting off Tom Lehrer's old song, "Who's Next"? Huh, ADVERTISEMENT?
Thankfully, an very wan echo of ADVERTISEMENT comes to AOL's rescue. Repeat after me: TWEN-ty MIL-lion PEO-ple WATCHED the MO-vie with-OUT e-VENT...which means we can excuse the nascent psychos.
This is JUST like the people who eructate, "You can turn the TV off." Yes, BUT WHO CAN TURN TV OFF?
This also demonstrates that the covert plagiarism of the conventional wisdom is worse than overt plagiarism, news hacks to the contrary.
Do you suppose Spike was merely reaching for his inner Je$$e?
Now Sumner can go on with his gawdawful TV that in time will earn a "cult following" with the ad-blurb copywriters.
Now Sumner can go on with his gawdawful TV that in time will earn a "cult following" with the ad-blurb copywriters.
Monday, July 07, 2003
My guess is last summer The Mogul's Friend was lathering up his best buddies for all their bingo bango boffo box office. Just like news hacks -- they kick 'em when they're down.
The correct perception on Capitol Hill is that the president's political team wants to get this over with, sign any bill, and damn the consequences.
This is the man who's led the fight against terrorism?
This is the man who's led the fight against terrorism?
In a world without news hacks one could view this tantrum thrower's firing as a good thing, but then -- the HEROES take credit, and it becomes a politically incorrect cause celebre.
I don't think most people like getting screamed at.
I don't think most people like getting screamed at.
Professor InstaPundit links to a guy who follows a two-thousand word piece with what must be a five-thousand worder. How do these people have the time to write it? and how can they expect us who surf the Web in vain for the interesting to want to read it? I'll say it again: verbosity does not equal wisdom, especially in a medium whose average attention span is three seconds.
HHWWALTER CRRRRRONKITE THINKS!
"I can't stand aside when I have a thought or two that might be interesting and possibly even helpful."
Here's a helpful thought, HHWWalter: bug off!
"I can't stand aside when I have a thought or two that might be interesting and possibly even helpful."
Here's a helpful thought, HHWWalter: bug off!
Audit: Mets Owe City Nearly $4M
And you can bet they make a profit of $100 million.
Or as the Grand Dork of the Major Leagues "Zelig" Selig would say, "Oh well, that's the way the baseball bounces, hee hee!"
And you can bet they make a profit of $100 million.
Or as the Grand Dork of the Major Leagues "Zelig" Selig would say, "Oh well, that's the way the baseball bounces, hee hee!"
Iran Completes Tests on Missile That Can Hit Israel
Ordinarily there'd be dancing in the streets, but I think the region has learned to hold it in for CNN.
Ordinarily there'd be dancing in the streets, but I think the region has learned to hold it in for CNN.
The editor of the sometimes very irritating ArtsJournal.com auditions for BLUNDER rag with a fatuous column in which he approvingly disapprovingly says classical music's no longer the stuff of water-cooler discussion. Neither is the theater, once the mother lode for Hollywood. Neither is radio, which at its peak had a more devoted audience than television. Neither are the movies, except among dumb blind teenagers. Neither are books, except among the airplane-imprisoned crowd that reads Danielle King Clancy. Neither is pop music, except among the get-a-life crowd on the Web. And as Brian "Hair Shirt" Lowry argued in a recent column, neither is most of television. Our total culture's problems are just as great as classical music's, only it has an army of news-hack lackeys to disguise them.
Have you ever seen a picture of the young Buddy Ebsen? He was in the Ziegfeld Follies, after the master died (though he got his start with him years earlier as a chorus boy), dancing with his sister Vilma, and boy, if he'd have been ten years younger, he'd be Mark Twain's prototype for good ol' Huck Finn! The rest of his story is ancient history, and though he became famous as star of a very bad sitcom, it's God gift to make people laugh -- especially when accompanied by a laugh track. RIP.
And speaking of commie longhairs, the British spinmeister meets the French schlockmeister.
Cheap Channel's selling blurbs for USC's classical public-radio station.
I can imagine Lowsy's reaction when (if) he heard the news -- "Doggone dagnabbit wha are we sellin' for commie longhairs?" But heck, Lowsy helped destroy good music on the radio, so he has at least a fraction of an obligation to help preserve what little is left. Even the factotum quoted in the article admits as much.
I can imagine Lowsy's reaction when (if) he heard the news -- "Doggone dagnabbit wha are we sellin' for commie longhairs?" But heck, Lowsy helped destroy good music on the radio, so he has at least a fraction of an obligation to help preserve what little is left. Even the factotum quoted in the article admits as much.
A requiem for Hollywood -- from an ad-blurb copywriter, no less:
In the new Dreamworks animated feature Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas, the major characters are voiced by movie stars, as is usual lately, and as usual, I couldn’t always tell who the players were without a scorecard.
In the new Dreamworks animated feature Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas, the major characters are voiced by movie stars, as is usual lately, and as usual, I couldn’t always tell who the players were without a scorecard.
So -- we should send the marines to Liberia, but let's not bother with Zimbabwe because it's "too controversial"? Hmm, I think we have some major-league ostrich head-burying here.
Palestinian Forces Detain Suicide Bomb Suspect
The first question is, was this done for news hacks? The second question is, did the alleged bomber speak ENGLISH?
The first question is, was this done for news hacks? The second question is, did the alleged bomber speak ENGLISH?
Sunday, July 06, 2003
In Gaza City, Palestinian government workers began whitewashing graffiti that praises Palestinian militants. Israel has demanded the Palestinian Authority act to halt incitement against Israel.
This is doubleplusungood: first, because the Israelis are behind this, and second, because it's graffiti.
Not to worry: this was probably done for the cameraman of Agence France-Presse, and the message should reappear tomorrow.
I was about to say only people with time on their hands would care to see someone win a golf tournament by ten strokes, but I see play's been suspended due to the weather! HA HA Mickey Mouse Michael!
More courage in the news biz: RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, who sells zillions in ad time to companies that SELL SELL SELL snacks and sugary cereals to kids, lets Altria MOtive Foods HAVE IT for its cave-in! SUCH BRAVE, PRINCIPLED EDITORIALIZING FROM RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(But in the end, RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Altria MOtive Foods will remain best friends: he airs dreck, and they sponsor The Osama Channel. Oh, and I just found this story on a Google search claiming that the fight against The Osama Channel is led by evil "ZIONISTS!" Thanks again for taking the right side, Altria MOtive!)
(But in the end, RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Altria MOtive Foods will remain best friends: he airs dreck, and they sponsor The Osama Channel. Oh, and I just found this story on a Google search claiming that the fight against The Osama Channel is led by evil "ZIONISTS!" Thanks again for taking the right side, Altria MOtive!)
The next time The Gliberal celebrates a rapper, or some idiot learned dog with a Nobel pedigree arfs of hip-hop genius, we may want to ponder this line:
As gangsta rap celebrated the "thug life," University of Pennsylvania sociologist Elijah Anderson and others have documented the depressing rise of an "oppositional culture," in which elementary school children are looking up to dope dealers as role models.
This in a story about Oakland, the city run by Fruits-and-Nuts Brown, and with a very high murder rate and lots of repeat crooks.
As gangsta rap celebrated the "thug life," University of Pennsylvania sociologist Elijah Anderson and others have documented the depressing rise of an "oppositional culture," in which elementary school children are looking up to dope dealers as role models.
This in a story about Oakland, the city run by Fruits-and-Nuts Brown, and with a very high murder rate and lots of repeat crooks.
Another fine chapter of the British Vicarage and Tea Time Club appoints a PC post director for its Sunday socials, and the PC part of the globe again fumes in an un-PC way.
We may have to send Pinch on a world tour.
We may have to send Pinch on a world tour.
[T]he Ann Coulters of 2003 look around our nation and see traitors everywhere....
You're pretty good Frank at spotting the evil of Dubya from behind every tree too. Does that make you a left-wing Ann Coulter? Noooooooooo.
You're pretty good Frank at spotting the evil of Dubya from behind every tree too. Does that make you a left-wing Ann Coulter? Noooooooooo.