Posted 7:36 PM by Gene

Why can't TNR -- indeed why can't any Web site with the slightest pretensions -- run more energizing stuff like THIS?

Posted 12:20 PM by Gene

His Omnipotence will make His non-declaration of non-triumph from the NEW! IMPROVED!! Oval Office, a sterile room that screams for its inhabit to get out of the White House and in with reality. Given our recent presidents it's clear they loved the Oval Office.

Does He need an office with His BlackBerry?

Posted 12:14 PM by Gene

And as if to prove our point that foreign policy is "a lose-lose for His Omnipotence":

Obama Speech Won't Declare Victory in Iraq or Progress in Afghanistan

(Sorry for the NewsMAX!!!!! -- but it IS the ASSPress!)

Posted 10:09 AM by Gene

Wealthy lawmakers increased their riches as economy sputtered in '09

Who says the economy is bad?

Posted 9:37 AM by Gene

And in another I Want Media link the movee excretion biz shows just because you CHARGE for something doesn't mean people are willing to PAY for it.

Posted 9:29 AM by Gene

The First Amendment-defending snobs of the newsroom are suddenly in a SLIME-inspired race to create little pay fiefdoms. Yes, a few people will pay; but as The Paper of Re-CORD will demonstrate all they're walling off is a better paid hack. Exclusive and GOOD may NOT be mutually inclusive. The juicy chuckle to all this is that they're creating these fiefdoms amidst more evidence the dep -- RECESSION is coming back, meaning fewer people to finance their dreams of total control over their readers.

P. S. at 12:08 p. m. At least one publisher heard from his -- DaMN readers. (Usual Romy link)

(First link via I Want Media)

Posted 9:27 AM by Gene

The natives don't like 15 Depilatory Plaza either.

Posted 6:52 PM by Gene

There seems to be a cycle with SNL: Every four years the hacks proclaim it's never been so unfunny, and then PRESTO! Two years later Belushi and Aykroyd are back. (As if THEY were funny.) All this cycling and recycling says is that with LOTS of news-hack help SNL will STILL be on the air in 36 years, which makes us ponder how many more unfunny comedians and grossout comedies it will inflict on the audience.

And another thing: 72 years will be scarcely more than the distance between us and the start of network television in the U. S., and only one year more than the distance between us and GWTW and The Wizard of Oz.

And 36 minus eight is 28, which is how many years ago Bluto killed himself. Is this immortality really worthy of Mt. Rushmore?

Posted 5:54 PM by Gene

And in news to warm the cockles of the hard left's withered heart:

Fidel Castro says was at death's door, now better

He told La Jornada he walked 600 steps without help and now weighed 190 pounds, up from pounds [SIC!!!!!] at the depths of his illness....

(Reporting by Jeff Franks; Editing by Bill Trott)

Hey Bill, do you take your editing a bit too seriously?

Posted 5:52 PM by Gene

Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi's invitation to hundreds of young women to convert to Islam overshadowed a two-day visit to Italy intended to cement the growing ties between Tripoli and Rome.

Yes, you really can judge an Italian prime minister by his friends.

Posted 5:45 PM by Gene

And if THIS FORBESLISTBLOG post is true now we can blame Israel for GLOBAL WARMING!

Posted 5:37 PM by Gene

Chris is on to something but he's trying too hard to be loved. Of course THE REV. DR. BECK's rally was squishy at its core -- how could it not be attracting gazillions of people whose favorite song is "AH'M PRAAAAAYOUD T'BE A CAAAAAAAAAYN -- AMERICAAAAAAAAAYN"? This is less about white minority status (Chris, you really don't have to try THAT hard to be loved) and more about "the Waterworld of self-pity" that runs through what must pass these days for patriotism. At least His Omnipotence is dimwit enough to do away with the patriotism.

Now no more talk about crowd size at the Capitol until the next PR stunt.

Posted 5:32 PM by Gene

If we got the reports right it seems The Cute Green Flower of an Oil Company was responsible for the Gulf disaster -- and so were the contractors. As the late Lord Koppel would say, everyone's responsible, and no one's responsible.

What would make this complete is if con-SER-va-tives blamed the government.

Posted 5:24 PM by Gene

We would wager there will be no significant change in this publicity-seeking panel of Cassandras because WE'RE STILL DESTROYING THE EARTH and this IS the League of Nations, which accuses Israel of doing the same thing.

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

And THIS story is exasperating because the only questions about the outcome are: 1. Who will get the chance to make a zillion dollars shaking down the taxpayers for a new Dodger Stadium; and 2. Who will be number one in some mythical ranking in FORBESLISTBLOG.

Posted 5:11 PM by Gene

And when effete yahoos celebrate THE BEST RATINGS IN THREE YEARS!!!!! over yet another coronation of ED MURROW and THAT IN-CROWD SOAP OPERA that draws TWO MILLION -- and when ITS audience is MAYBE 13.5 MILLION, or 4.35 PERCENT OF THE CURRENT U. S. POPULATION -- we have the very definition of IRRELEVANT.

P. S. 13.5 million minus 13.471 million is 29,000 -- and that took a good dose of NIELSEN TWEAKING.

Posted 4:58 PM by Gene

One thing that's very middle-finger-old politics is the way pressure groups stage huge rallies for the sole purpose of inventing dubious crowd numbers to leverage spin. It was exasperating when GEORGE "KILL THE NAZIS!" SOROS did it; it's exasperating when THE REV. DR. MARTIN LUTHER BECK does it. While such rallies may play to the screaming maniacs on both sides they still raise the middle finger to those who aren't.

And does anyone place any faith in any crowd numbers? That's why such politics isn't old -- it was wheeled out on a gurney a long time ago.

Posted 2:24 PM by Gene

What's the difference between a total goofball and RON!!!! PAUL!!!!!!!!!!?

"REP."

The man who wears a dead animal on his head knows it.

Posted 2:22 PM by Gene

Dodd: 'No lobbying' in post-Senate plans

Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Posted 2:11 PM by Gene

His Omnipotence speaks, the stock market goes down.

Better look out for that water underneath You.

Posted 6:17 PM by Gene

We were thinking: Looking at the haunting pictures of the newly refurbished 103-year-old Belasco Theater, instead of the theme-park kings of Branson East putting on those things once called plays, why not simply shuttle tourists in and out of these largely meaningless landmarks, the way the Park Service does at our Independence Square? I'd much rather spend the time in one of these landmarks dreaming of the past than enduring a bankrupting present of jukebox shows or no-talents screaming profanities at the top of their lungs.

Speaking of, does anyone know who David Belasco was? He was the great playwright-producer of his day. He lived in an apartment at the theater, its ghostly remains shown in the third slide. I can imagine living there now, with huge sunlight-eating boxes on all sides and a view of shadows and fire escapes. He's as well known now as the something about rocks and horror that caused the lower balconies to be destroyed in 1975 deserves to be so long after its death. "The dozens of plays Belasco wrote or co-wrote are virtually never produced today." Chuck clearly is not reflecting on his own raves. "'The all-important factor in a dramatic production,' Belasco once said, 'is the lighting of the scenes.'" If this doesn't make him sound like UB IGER, or Lord Schlockintosh. And we know from those two fools he wasn't. There are some good reasons David Belasco can't be revived -- and likely just as many bad ones. If only Branson East's caretakers could let us judge for ourselves.

(Via the usual AHTSJournal)

Posted 12:08 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: IF WE'RE GONNA GO DOWN IN FLAMES LET'S ADD GASOLINE TO THE FIRE!!!!!

Posted 11:03 AM by Gene

We had not thought of this in mentioning that story yesterday but we'd guess a great many HIP! HOT! spots in Lower Manhattan serve booze to minors who are trying to make themselves HIP! and HOT!, so maybe it will serve a purpose.

Posted 10:14 AM by Gene

December 28, 2009:

Obama low-profile after terror attempt

TRANSLATION: Another lose-lose for His Omnipotence. He knows foreign policy is always a downer; thus His administration has an essential indifference to the subject bordering on negligence, particularly on human rights; and taking care of terr -- MILITANTS may involve the military, and deep down one suspects His Omnipotence is still the community activist toward the people in uniform, even after nearly a year as putative Commander-in-Chief. So of course He keeps a non-existent profile, all the better to hope this blows away, and He can get back to burning our money on social schemes.

In so many words The Paper of Re-CORD says TODAY what I said eight months ago.

(Via JENNIFER!!!!!)

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

Video: Rev. Al Shaprton says 'dream has not been achieved' (Top "news" hed on Yahoo!'s excruciatingly CW home page -- linking to an ASSPRESS video)

TRANSLATION: We're not reporting on that NAZI even if we go BANKRUPT!!!!!

(In fairness the NAZI shows up at the top of the news heds if you go to Yahoo! Mail -- but we think we know what runs the "news" biz well enough)

Posted 4:58 PM by Gene

The overexposure of this story in NOO YAWK's tabloids is the moral equivalent of putting a mass gunman's mug on the front page. Surely there are people far more worthy of the space. Just because MORT ZUCKS and SLIMES think such stories sell doesn't mean the readers like being SOLD TO.

Posted 4:57 PM by Gene

Yesterday the political fad of the moment was His Omnipotence. Today it's a screaming maniac. We've gone back and forth between manias so rapidly the only plausible outcome is to make people hate politics altogether. When BANEHEAD fails he'll be replaced with a NEW NANCY, and when the NEW NANCY fails she'll replaced by another BANEHEAD, and on and on the cycle will go until it so foments anger the only recourse is revolution -- and by that time the people will be too pooped to rebel, and too wise to the outcome.

Posted 4:48 PM by Gene

As my new homemade computer takes over more money -- I'm waiting for Intel to cut the price on the 950, and in the meantime I'm buying an unneeded hard drive -- I think to myself, why can't computers be small and fast? They can be small and slow, or fast and expensive, but not small and fast. That could be behind the Church of Cupertino's growth: Its Indulgences do most of want people want computers to do in a convenient package. Notebooks outsell desktops for largely the same reason. But too much computing involves trade-offs. Why thirty years after the first PC, and thirty-five years after the Virgin Birth, are we still talking trade-offs with computers?

Posted 4:41 PM by Gene

On South Street today there was the usual recent grating presence: a young teenage boy playing the violin on the street. Lately I've seen a number of teenage boys playing violins on the street. I'd like to know where the money goes. I wonder if the authorities would too.

The one person who's been following me may recall the late vaguely lamented Tower Records chain. It had a store on South Street. Walgreen's took it over, a square peg taking over a round hole. A year ago its pharmacy closed. On Tuesday it closes. It's a long skinny sterile uninviting store with few customers, and two-thirds of the building's space is off limits. Who would occupy it? Pearl Art's forlorn space still needs a tenant. There's nothing on the street but knockoff clothing and shoe stores and steak shops. And the annoying Alan Sues Memorial Flotilla hasn't returned yet.

Posted 4:36 PM by Gene

HALLELUJAH! After years of holy supplications our local faithful finally got their own Church on Walnut Street. All Its services have police guard. I think I know who's paying for it. PRAISE THE LORD, EDDIE!

Which brings up a question: given Its religious nature could God turn His Creation into a NON-PROFIT? Then He wouldn't have to PAY ANY TAXES!

Posted 6:30 PM by Gene

New list stirs debate on greatest Beatle [Top-of-home-page link]

As he tears whatever is left of his hair out the helpless Web surfer may ask himself why he wastes his time.

Posted 1:41 PM by Gene

We wonder how people invent words like "phenom". Once you subject people to such words you risk bequeathing the curse of the child prodigy. The news that Stephen Strasburg won't play baseball again until 2012 does not surprise us as anyone who's called a "phenom" and who throws constant heat must inevitably abuse his body in the name of potential. Whatever his salary speaking of "sensation" and "phenom" does not seem to have done this pitcher that much good.

P. S. These zillionaire sports hacks think they justify their unjustifiable salaries writing dirges. Yes Jayson, it's sad. No Jayson, the world won't come to an end. As for SELIGISM, I'd say ANOTHER PHENOM and HIS FRIENDS ended it for some of us long ago.

Posted 1:31 PM by Gene

When he says:

You just have to like the Constitution. I love it.

What he really means is:

WHY DID THE FOUNDERS EVER WRITE THE FIRST AMENDMENT? NO CONSERVATIVE OR CHRISTIAN OR OTHER NAZI SHOULD HAVE RIGHTS!! THE FIRST AMENDMENT IS FOR FREEDOM OF SPEECH, AND NO PERSON WHO HOLDS THE EVIL NOTIONS OF CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN NAZIS SHOULD EVER BE GRANTED ONE IOTA OF FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!!

THANK GOD FOR THE FIRST AMENDMENT -- AND THANK GOD FOR JEFF BEWKES FOR GIVING ME MY RIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!

We will only say further that the TWXSTERS' newsrag is no longer PEOPLE INC.'s flagship, and judging from what we saw of it today at Barnes & Noble most weeks it must come perilously close to running NO ADS.

Posted 10:21 AM by Gene

I wonder: Would it hurt the economy to put a permanent gag order on the Fed chairman -- any Fed chairman?

Posted 10:03 AM by Gene

The latest gag from Branson East: "experimental geriatric theater"!

"I worked on it for a couple of weeks and, frankly, I have no idea what we were doing."

Isn't that how smash Branson East hits like MAMMA MIA! are born?

Where would we be without Mike?

Posted 9:54 AM by Gene

Beck supporters head for D.C. rally

We don't know which is worse: His supporters screaming or His opponents screaming. We'd say both have highly advanced neuroses.

Posted 9:47 AM by Gene

Also from I Want Media: LARRY KING!!!!! doesn't want to retire. Why doesn't he find a friend -- say, MOUTH OF THE SOUTH -- and start a NEW CABLE-TV NETWORK?

Posted 9:44 AM by Gene

USA Today shaking up staff in 'radical' overhaul

We can guess what this means: fire people who know what they're doing -- and eventually hire more nincompoops like EDNA to boost its show-biz advertising. Doesn't that go well with wireless?

Posted 9:41 AM by Gene

God knows there's bloat in our military's budget, but when will His Omnipotence finally do what we suspect He wants to do -- cut the budget because He doesn't like the military?

Posted 12:22 PM by Gene

Facebook $33.7B Valuation Bests eBay, Yahoo [I Want Media link]

...based on secondary market transactions....

This is asinine. Less than a month ago Bloomy's Fairy Tales posited the great invention was worth $25 billion. We might remind ourselves that eBay and Yahoo! once had FAR GREATER MARKET CAPS -- how about $200 BILLION COMBINED? (our best guess) -- so comparing it to other strokes of Internet business genius says nothing. And THEY weren't worth that much even at the height of the dotcom craze.

And the WIZARDOM OF MOUNTAIN VIEW hasn't done THAT great lately either.

Posted 8:57 AM by Gene

"I want to go to the sea," she said, with tears in her eyes. "I want to play in the water."

This line touched me because we all have yearnings, and though mercifully few of us weigh 603 pounds or have been confined to our homes for three years we all have our own extraordinary burdens, and we must always believe we can work them off, or else we give up the desire to live. We well understand this simple yearning.

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

Evan Smith of Texas Tribune: 'Journalists Deserve a Living Wage'

Despite the talk here of "membership, major donors, foundations, corporate sponsorship, and earned income through events and premium products like newsletters", the hacks have not given up the notion of living off the government dole. Moreover too many JERNALISTS' idea of a living wage is MB2'S or CHICKEN ZAKARIA's. These clowns still do not know they've been put in their place.

Posted 8:39 AM by Gene

Elin said the breakup "has been hard" on her two kids.

"There was one time when I was sitting at a table in the rented house we had just moved into. We had all our things in boxes on the floor, but somehow managed to put a Christmas tree up, to feel somewhat at home," Elin said.

"I wasn't crying, but I was thinking and was sad. Sam came up to me, put her hand on my cheek and said in Swedish, 'Mommy, where is your boo-boo?'"

The next time we speak of TGSM and any "comeback" we might want to think of his kids.

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

GREAT: Just what we need -- THE RETURN OF MICKEYMOUSE NIXON.

And look out for His "friends" John Angelo and Michael Gordon. They may out GanNETt GanNETt. Just what we need -- ANOTHER SOB NEUHARTH AND WILLIAM RANDOLPH HEARST!

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 7:02 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



See, now we're about to utter another kind word for starchitecture. This is far preferable to what might have been, given this is a water tower; and while the color scheme might not be to our taste at least the design shows some imagination.



On the other hand there has been a big self-serving debate among writers of Cute Little Pink Papers about this new depilatory device going up near the Empire State Building. We cannot entirely exonerate King Kong's favorite platform as it was built on government demand (like the WTC) and because for years it was called the Empty State Building, and its numerous owners are testimony to its commercial dubiousness. But it does have the flair of its era and the symmetry of a day when architects still thought it important. This huge starchitect's fee should be despised not because it's blocking someone's view but because it was made by Panasonic, and with luck the owners will have themselves a white elephant every bit as empty as was the Empire State. Given this non-recession we're heading back into I wouldn't bet otherwise.

P. S. The building, which His Excellency's City Council approved today, is still in the "planning phase". TRANSLATION: This WILL be built with GUVMENT FUNDS.

Posted 6:24 PM by Gene

It's starting to feel like another recession.

Another?

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

We are hardly distraught at the prospect of fewer lawyers, but then His Omnipotence will bloviate that more people need kolledge degrees. Would we be in such a fix if the BELTWAY weren't so educentric and didn't obsess over its CVs the way England fixates on its royal bloodlines?

Posted 1:37 PM by Gene

The Securities and Exchange Commission on Wednesday narrowly approved controversial regulations giving institutional investors significantly more power in corporate director elections and behind-the-scene negotiations with top executives starting in 2011.

All right, GEKKO KUDLOWS, repeat after me: COMMUNISTS!

Posted 12:13 PM by Gene

The CRAINIACS offer another brilliant idea:

Why Movie Studios Should Check out Check-in Networks

Hollywood Could Start Rewarding Consumers for Their Movie Watching

OR:

[W]ith entertainment-based check-ins, whole new strategies are possible to take advantage of people's enthusiasm to show off what they're doing to their social-network connections. Miso and other networks already hand out their own badges. People can earn "TV Fan" badges and other such honors, mostly based around genres.

Imagine, though, if someone could earn a "Paramount Ambassador" badge after checking in to 20 movies from that studio. And imagine if the studio then had a program in place to reward that person with some sort of prize pack or other freebies.

Some people must keep their jokes to themselves.

Posted 11:50 AM by Gene

Look, we all can agree: HONORARY MAYOR MIKE may be "eloquent" -- but so was John C. Calhoun defending slavery. And both these big men surely had their hates; for Calhoun, blacks; for HONORARY, pregnant women. Being eloquent does not mean being right.

P. S. at 6:58 p. m. Here's a question I'd like to ask of His Lordship: While You were preparing for Indispensable Greatness at Your LLP how many times did You use Christ's name in vain?

Quite a few, I suspect. It would behoove You to realize we have all sinned and come short of the glory of God -- and I'm afraid that includes You too.

Posted 9:39 AM by Gene

Here's a potential Profile in Courage for "elected" Congressional Democrats in the lame-duck session: amnesty for illegals!

Oh wait, His Omnipotence already thought of it.

Posted 9:31 AM by Gene

Speaking of SUMNER, we see He has avoided a sexual-harassment suit, and it only cost His shareholders $1 million.

Come on, SUMMER, You can do better!

(Via the well-read THR -- which may not deserve to be)

Posted 9:21 AM by Gene

And here's one more class of people who deserve angry mobs: the sports greedmeisters who shake down taxpayers -- and the "elected" officials who merrily allow them to get their way.

Not to mention, one more time, the "elected" officials of Bell, California.

Posted 9:14 AM by Gene

Many opponents of the mosque, particularly those who wish to remain in the mainstream of society....

Does that mean they're all in danger of becoming raging loons?

Also from ADAM!!!!!:

Tests on the saliva of dozens of European and American relatives of Adolf Hitler confirm that the Nazi leader had the chromosome Haplogroup E1b1b1, which is "rare in Western Europe and is most commonly found in the Berbers of Morocco, Algeria and Tunisia, as well as among Ashkenazi and Sephardic Jews." It has long been believed that Hitler had a Jewish grandfather, and these findings seem to corroborate such suspicions. "The affair is fascinating if one compares it with the conception of the world of the Nazis, in which race and blood was central," says genetic specialist Ronny Decorte. “Hitler's concern over his descent was not unjustified. He was apparently not 'pure' or ‘Aryan.’” Kind of a hypocrite, that Hitler.

You mean he was almost as bad as SLIME?!?!?

I think we're all overdue for someone to propose a National Internet-Free Day. At the very least we could have a National NYMAG.COM-FREE MONTH.

Posted 9:04 AM by Gene

Meantime ED MURROW has issued a Harvest of Shame investigative report accusing SLIME of HYPOCRISY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TRANSLATION: There are a lot of stinky things SLIME does that SUMNER does that would be okay with SUMNER -- like commissioning OJ to write a "MEMOIR".

And SLIME and SUMNER are ALSO very good justifications for angry mobs -- regardless of who owns Them.

(Via I Want Media)

Posted 8:58 AM by Gene

A former non-partisan head of the White House Correspondents' Day Care Center tells a former non-partisan reporter of E&P employed by the non-partisan DAVID BROCK!!!!! that FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News should be denied its new crib in the Center because it's con-ser...NOT NON-PARTISAN!!!!!!!!!!

If ever there was an excuse for an angry mob it's deaf hyperpartisans like LIAR-LIAR BROCK.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:54 AM by Gene

"VIPs" had a friend in The Jack Valenti of Mortgages!

Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

We really hate wasting our time on trivia like this, but the combination of closed-circuit cameras and the Web is making our society a little like 1984, where every indefensible action is eligible for the death penalty. But who would have known that the modern security state would be run not from the top down by Goldsteins, but from the bottom up by angry mobs? One wonders if it's at the root of people throwing out any old candidates for public office for no known reason. Whatever the source of indignation CCTV and The Web have made the world an angrier place, and probably not a safer one.

Posted 2:34 PM by Gene

DOTTY SID! HERE's your new editor: David A. Graham. He's tied together the right and flat-earthers and all kinds of ignoramuses -- and he wasn't especially suave in doing it. Bonus point: He's already popular with mediagenic con-SER-va-tives. GO FOR IT DOTTY!! DAVE AS EDITOR!

Posted 10:09 AM by Gene

Still, the reports left out crucial facts. A KCNA dispatch said little about the flooding across the Yalu River in the Chinese city of Dandong, bound to Sinuiju by a long steel road and rail bridge that survived numerous US bombing runs in the Korean War. A bustling commercial center, Dandong is several times larger than Sinuiju, whose 400,000 people are said to live in run-down apartment blocks and small shacks.

There was no mention in North Korean reports of the evacuation of 250,000 people from Dandong, where North Korean traders go on buying and selling expeditions, before raging currents began to subside. At least four people were reported killed.

Nor did KCNA give the really bad news. That was up to Daily NK, a monitoring group in Seoul with contacts in the North. While helicopters were picking up trapped people, said Daily NK’s source, one helicopter “crashed into a rice paddy” on a mission “to rescue isolated residents” with the loss of its two-man crew.

North Korean central TV reported only “that helicopters had been sent to the rescue project on the orders of Kim Jong-il,” said Daily NK, but “there was no word of the crash.”

And there was no word either about rail service, though trains were assumed to have halted. Stopping in Dandong and then Sinuiju on the way to Pyongyang, freight trains from China carry most of the goods, including food and fertilizer, that North Korea needs to survive.

"Candor"!

Posted 9:35 AM by Gene

OooooOOOOOoooooh, Speaker BANEHEAD says Timmy and Larry MUST GO!

Courage!

Posted 8:42 AM by Gene

Fewer poli-sci profs! Fewer self-appointed experts! Fewer potential pundits! Less PC!

Why is this bad news?

Posted 7:15 PM by Gene

No Tweeting From North Korea

Kym McNicholas

As great as it sounds, Forbes learns that the communist country hasn't embraced social media.

You DID it, LITTLE MALCOLM AND BONO! You turned FORBESLISTBLOG into TOTAL SELF-PARODY!

Posted 6:14 PM by Gene

SHOREBANK WAS A COMMIE PLOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Which reminds us how at least a few con-SER-va-tives kept deathly silent as ENRONs happened, or spent more time blasting Bernie Madoff's PARTY AFFILIATION than his crimes.

Shut up, Paul. You're just another partisan hack.

(Via an ad through EM, who no doubt smirked over Bernie's DEMOCRAT PARTY giving for weeks)

Posted 6:14 PM by Gene

You'd think Trader Joe's would be eager to trumpet its success, but management is obsessively secretive. There are no signs with the company's name or logo at headquarters in Monrovia, about 25 miles east of downtown Los Angeles. Few customers realize the chain is owned by Germany's ultra-private Albrecht family, the people behind the Aldi Nord supermarket empire. (A different branch of the family controls Aldi Süd, parent of the U.S. Aldi grocery chain.) Famous in Germany for not talking to the press, the Albrechts have passed their tightlipped ways on to their U.S. business: Trader Joe's and its CEO, Dan Bane, declined repeated requests to speak to Fortune, and the company has never participated in a major story about its business operations.

Some of that may be because Trader Joe's business tactics are often very much at odds with its image as the funky shop around the corner that sources its wares from local farms and food artisans. Sometimes it does, but big, well-known companies also make many of Trader Joe's products. Those Trader Joe's pita chips? Made by Stacy's, a division of PepsiCo's Frito-Lay. On the East Coast much of its yogurt is supplied by Danone's Stonyfield Farm. And finicky foodies probably don't like to think about how Trader Joe's scale enables the chain to sell a pound of organic lemons for $2.

Isn't one phony-baloney upscale-snobby grocery chain enough?

Posted 5:28 PM by Gene

BLOOMBERG-HAGEL!!!!!

Remember?

Posted 3:39 PM by Gene

Now TGSM can have as many..."girlfriends" as he likes!

Posted 3:05 PM by Gene

"FRIENDLY" FIRE: The other day in a RONG AID GEN. McDONALD of the MOON 'N' STARS CORPS strafed us with "INCREASE THE COST TWENTY PERCENT BY REDUCING THE SIZE" FIRE with Pringle's. Needless to say we are permanently avoiding THAT target practice on the public.

Posted 2:51 PM by Gene

We have enormous respect for Harold Prince but he's making an excuse. If there's so much music-writing talent out there why isn't it headed to Branson East? Because the talent isn't heading to the pop...SOUND arena, craven GanNETtoids notwithstanding. The talent is NOT THERE, and no encouragement or moolah will bring it out where it doesn't exist.

(Via the usual AHTSJournal)

Posted 9:58 AM by Gene

WSJ: How did you initially become interested? Who reached out to whom?

Mr. Harman: I've known [Washington Post Co. Chairman] Don Graham for many years. A little more than once a year, he buzzes me to say, "How about breakfast?"

Totally coincidentally, Howard Fineman, a longtime writer for Newsweek, had said to me, "Are you aware that they're going to sell Newsweek?" And, "Hell, you ought to be interested."

I'd pretty much forgotten it. Don came over to the house for breakfast. We had a pleasant 90 minutes. I walked him to the car, he's getting into the car, and I said, "Son of a b----, [SIC! from SLIME'S FX-'N'-FAMILYGUYLAND!!!!!] aren't you going to ask me about Newsweek?" He stepped out of the car. "Are you interested?"

DOTTY SID'S HEIRS CAN SUE HOWARD FINEMAN!

Posted 9:41 AM by Gene

My good friend David Limbaugh’s new book, Crimes Against Liberty: An Indictment against President Barack Obama, is out today, from Regnery. It is the story of the last 20 months through the eyes of a great lawyer who writes with clarity, a real feel for the country, a sense of our history, and a devotion to the Constitution. Get it and read it — you’ll be glad you did.

Does PILLHEAD need the money?

Posted 9:18 AM by Gene

Whereas before a busty model was looked down on by the androgynous, women-must-look-like-young-boys world of high fashion (I once heard a male New York designer reject a really lovely young woman for his show with the dismissive: 'You're too Victoria's Secret'), designers are now looking for girls with breasts for the autumn shows that lurk around the corner.

The problem is, they still want tiny bodies; my moles tell me the number of teenagers, eager to hit the big time, who have been having enhancements over the summer has shot up.

one [SIC] model told me last season that a casting agent had told her that 'my two fried eggs might be "over" come the autumn. There's no point telling me to wear a padded bra and use gel sacs; designers never want us to wear underwear. It spoils the line, is not sexy! They always want nipples!

After reading this grotesquery I think maybe it's just as well I don't have a woman friend.

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

It's official -- Tony Hayward Bewkes does believe in SYNERGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 8:23 AM by Gene

COURAGE:

Former House Majority Leader Dick Armey (R-Texas), now the chairman of Freedomworks, a major backer of the Tea Party movement, said on NBC's "Meet the Press" that the modern Republican Party's lack of courage is a "big reason" for widespread frustration with both Democrats and Republicans.

And then, as if to prove it:

Minutes before Armey's remarks, "Meet the Press" host David Gregory pressed Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) on why Ryan's "Roadmap for America's Future" had such scant support among Republicans, and no support among Republican leaders. McConnell repeatedly dodged the question.

Posted 8:22 AM by Gene

Jeez Mark, I didn't know you could use the TWXSTERS as your job-search firm!

Posted 8:59 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily! informs its admirers that "The Pultry Project [SIC!] is launching Chicken Coop Design Competition"!

May the ugliest, most expensive looking coop win!

And no, we DON'T mean "co-op"! Or maybe we do.

P. S. And in MORE GENIUS from Mountain View:

Posted 8:46 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: 3D was a fad 57 years ago; it's a fad again today.

And the really swell thing is it's probably made the movee S&M crowd even less likely to see "genre films" in 2D. Excellent work -- CONSPIRACY!

P. S. Is America's Sister really THAT big a star outside PEOPLE?

(Via TINA!!!!!)

Posted 7:07 PM by Gene

We were searching for more info on this cretinous publicity stunt when we came across the terrible story of the German tourist killed in a crossfire in Frisco. I fear this is another NO SNITCHIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If so, those who wouldn't "snitch" should doubly burn in Hell.

Posted 11:05 AM by Gene

And speaking of KNEE JERKS, when does El-luh-NOOOOAH take the hint -- or is she going down with SID's DOTTY ship?

Posted 10:55 AM by Gene

And in more con-SER-va-tive PC, the prosecution of Roger Clemens has become A WITCH HUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who told Roger and all those other witches to inject themselves with steroids?

Posted 10:52 AM by Gene

I'm waiting for con-SER-va-tives to gloat over this story -- or as PILLHEAD would say, "WHAT CAUSED BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA'S ECONOMY TO GO IN THE TANK WAS BUREAUCRATS WHO LENT MONEY TO PEOPLE WHO COULDN'T AFFORD IT!!!!!!!!!!" -- but if there's one thing the poor need less of it's check-cashing stores.

Posted 10:39 AM by Gene

And in more Overexposed Celebrity News, Everybody's Favorite Lawyer's Daughter has this dating strategy:

[S]he has devised a litmus test to see if guys are just using her for her fame: "I always say, where do you want to go eat?" Kardashian says. "If they pick a super trendy restaurant, then that's, like, the worst sign."

Hey Kim! How 'bout a date at Mickey D's?

Posted 10:33 AM by Gene

PILLHEAD left His New York condo so fast He even left behind the furnishings!

But not, we would presume, anything incriminating.

Meanwhile, in the comments:

The only good Republican is a dead one.

JOURNOLIST LIVES!

Posted 8:18 PM by Gene

In one-and-a-half minutes I learned why Elvis's movies stink. Some blogger has pirated a scene from Double Trouble (no link) and even through the dim lighting (which may have been MGM's fault) I could see the smell. People make fun of The King's movies reflexively despite some good tunes, like the one-and-a-half minutes of "Long Legged Girl (with the Short Dress On)". "Col." "Tom" "Parker" could at least have had his Hill and Range hacks write to the camera, and here they did it. Unfortunately the director and cinematographer were blind. First off, there's no staging; it's just Elvis wiggling and an audience clapping, and the men wheeling the dolly bumping into something. Much of the scene is in long shots and for a second Elvis turns his back to the camera. When you're the star doing an exciting number that is a mortal sin. Worse, there is staging, behind Elvis. Three Beatles mopheads simulate monkey orgasms on guitars. This is beyond stupid as a big band's backing him -- and the Jordanaires are MIA. Maybe they weren't that photogenic after years of imitating cows but they're on the whole song. And then there's Elvis himself, puffy, a little disengaged (and possibly stoned), going through not very convincing motions -- and here he had no excuse as he wasn't doing the "POS" he increasingly mocked and from whose grip he was never released. And to top it off the chowderheads cut off the song before the finish.

Elvis's films would never be masterworks but they could have been a lot better -- but too many people conspired to see that they weren't, not least of them The King.

Posted 5:31 PM by Gene

We can be grateful that the TWXSTERS have put their once-and-never-again flagship rag behind a WALL, for then we don't see the full text of what apparently is a PC tantrum -- and what's more, it isn't making its once-and-never-again flagship rag free to STEVE worshipers the way the REAL FLAGSHIP IS.

When does Tony Hayward Bewkes make the first announcement?

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

Let me assert my FIRM BELIEF that THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS -- FOUR MORE YEARS OF GEORGE W. BUSH!!!!!

Privately, some Democrats attending the St. Louis meeting fretted that the political environment may be getting even more difficult for the party in power, with dour economic news seeming to pile up with each passing day.

THESE NATTERING NABOBS OF...oops! Wrong party.

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

He still hasn't walked on water, though. What's wrong with the man?

Oh that's next, Gene. BROCCOLI will hallucinate that one.

Although we could swear THE LATE LENNY already saw THAT.

Posted 11:02 AM by Gene

Jeff, eHow may be DUMB, but judging from this taxpayer-financed ad we found on one of your favorites somebody else has the last laugh.

And really, we question whether something like this is THAT dumb, as it states good common-sense principles -- which some people must be grabbed by the scruffs of their necks into seeing.

(Via the usual Romy, who is not presented by Chevrolet)

Posted 10:00 AM by Gene

Some movee production house has just bought the rights to a novel by Ken Felatta [SIC], which pretty well says neither will say anything.

(Via I Want Media)

Posted 8:33 AM by Gene

There seems to be a disease in southern California. We saw it first in Bell; it also infected a town called Vernon. God knows how many little kings earn vast sums taking advantage of government neglect and the voters' sloth. Yes, here is justification for that old catch phrase, "Throw the bums out!"

And here, for once, is a newspaper performing a public service, the sort of thing USAOKAY!!!!! should think of whenever it runs another BIGMEDIA ad, or whenever Mogul's Friend again looks for work.

Posted 11:25 AM by Gene

The good news:

The Labor Department says the number of workers who died on the job fell by 17 percent last year to the lowest level in nearly two decades.

The bad news:

The agency says high unemployment and layoffs in more dangerous industries like construction played a major role in the decrease.

Posted 8:50 AM by Gene

Does anyone here remember when USAOKAY!!!!! tried nominating itself for a Nobe -- P-ULITZER PRIZE four years ago? And then it had to sorta kinda ease away from the story? WELL, THE SONS OF AL learned their lesson; they're back to running daily industrial-strength ads, the public be dam -- MILKED.



A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO EDNA -- AND YOU'RE A FINALIST FOR THE NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR CENTURY AWARD!

Posted 8:43 AM by Gene

Elsewhere in biznews:

Retailer Sears Holdings Corp reported a wider-than-expected quarterly loss on Thursday as consumers curbed spending in a grim U.S. economy.

Who cares? Isn't it in real estate?

Posted 8:40 AM by Gene

The White House on Wednesday stressed that President Obama has fully embraced Florida Senate candidate Kendrick Meek, and when the president got off Air Force One in Miami, he gave Meek a hug.

Awwww, that's even better than the one grand Mr. Viagra gave to Charlie Crist!

Posted 8:33 AM by Gene

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE REUT!

Intel says to buy McAfee for about $7.86 billion; McAfee shares up 59 percent

TRANSLATION: Intel wants to be Microsoft!

Posted 8:23 AM by Gene

Gannett to launch over 100 microsites devoted to high school sports [The usual Romy link]

We know what this means: we'll do for ninth-grade linebackers what we did for SUPER BOWL ADS.

Posted 8:14 AM by Gene

TICKET: Why is there so much confusion over Obama's religion?

No! NO! That's TOO easy.

Posted 8:09 AM by Gene

HUP - TWO! HUP - TWO!

As a kid, Mr. McDonald read biographies of military leaders like George Patton, Douglas MacArthur and President Dwight Eisenhower. One of his favorite movies is "The Longest Day," the 1962 film detailing the events of D-Day from the German and Allied forces' perspectives.

The chief executive, who proposed to his wife a month after he met her, decided early on that he would attend the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, and tried to apply when he was 11 years old. (He asked his local congressman, the future Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, for a letter of recommendation; Mr. Rumsfeld told him to wait to apply until he was older.)

Mr. McDonald ultimately did attend West Point, which is where he studied Napoleon Bonaparte's tactics, particularly Napoleon's corps structure, under which operating units perform a range of military functions, making a small army of each. "Even though he was outmanned in these battles, he could win by defeating a different unit in the details," Mr. McDonald says.

So THAT'S how they learn to trample over our wallets and our sensibilities!

(Via SLIME'S Cheapie Marketwatch)

Posted 7:43 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: 1. Last overpaid bore out of SIDSWEEK's a rotten EEEEEEEEEEEGG!!!!! 2. Don't the TWXSTERS employ enough overpaid bores on their subscribers' DIME? 3. "Casey" Stengel's doing alnmost exactly what the late JonBoy did -- and we know what that means, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! 4. THE NEXT LARRY KING!!!!!

“He is a kind of a spokesman for a post-American world, and we think he represents an important piece of the puzzle for us.”

Hey Casey, given the Yale biz wouldn't post-apocalyptic be more apt?

P. S. on 8/19/2010 at 6:00 p. m. And one more thing: SYNERGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 7:29 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



See? Not EVERYTHING in ARCHDaily! is ugly.



And we can fathom the point of this, so long as it doesn't clash too much with the surroundings.

Posted 6:21 PM by Gene

Let's split the difference: Many state and local government employees aren't overpaid, and many public-school teachers aren't overly qualified, and leave it at that.

(Via -- oh well -- NRO too -- and Ramesh is never wrong)

Posted 5:19 PM by Gene

And a side order of caviar. Oh, and could I have brie on that?

(Via -- oh well -- NRO. I wish I could find these things without having to go to partisan sites. And who knew Mort Zuck was on YouTube?)

Posted 3:43 PM by Gene

Again we ask: What's the difference between Branson East...

Jerry Lee Lewis to Perform at Broadway's Million Dollar Quartet in September

...and Branson?

Besides crime and History's Greatest Mayor, that is.

Posted 2:58 PM by Gene

We ordinarily wouldn't turn to one of BRIAN ROBBER's more intelligence-insulting Web sites, but we couldn't resist this tribute to a true con-SER-va-tive HERO:

There might be more than one way to skin a cat. But there's only a few legal ways to kill a baby buck—as Mr. Cat Scratch Fever found out.

Animal-slaying rocker Ted Nugent pleaded no contest in Marysville, Calif., courtroom to offing a defenseless deer on a reality TV show using illegal hunting tactics.

A lawyer for the 61-year-old rocker entered a no-contest plea on Nugent's behalf Friday in Yuba County Superior Court to misdemeanor counts of baiting a deer and failing to acquire an authorized signature to confirm the kill's legality.

Nugent originally faced 11 charges, but managed to get those dropped after his attorney negotiated a deal. He must now fork over a $1,750 fine to settle the matter.

Posted 2:21 PM by Gene

DILBERT ♥ WOLFFMAN!!!!!

They were made for each other.

Posted 11:36 AM by Gene

Ooooops! Looks like THE GREATEST NETWORK OF ALL TIME won't be bashing THE GREATEST COMPOSER-LYRICIST OF ALL TIME after all.

Now let's do a show about SARAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 11:33 AM by Gene

This gives us hope: Once upon a time American Apparel was HOT!!!!!

Today it's virtually bankrupt.

How many other of today's sensations face this inevitable outcome?

Posted 11:18 AM by Gene

More heroism from SLIMDOM:

At first, Vice was little more than a knock-off of Face, the influential British magazine. But it started finding its voice after 2000, when the staff moved to Williamsburg. There were breast-baring photo spreads by photographers like Richard Kern, and a Vice guide to anal sex. There were louche fashion spreads, but also “Jackass”-style columns like Gross Jar, which chronicled a large jar filled with detritus like used tampons and dead rats.

[PAGE JUMP!!!!!]

Eventually, the magazine started to grow a social conscience. During the troop surge in Iraq in 2007, Vice published an issue written by Iraqi citizens — including an account by a woman who had been detained in Abu Ghraib with her son.

With luck, slob, the MEDIA TYCOON you'll eventually resemble won't be TOM FRESTON!!!!! (who, lest we forget, was fired by THE REAL BOSS SUMNER) but GARY PRUITT -- or PVT. ZELL.

OR:



CARLOS THE JACKASS! The wall! THE WALL!!!!!!!!!!

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 11:08 AM by Gene

Speaking of unemployment:

Foxconn to Hire 400,000 China Workers Within a Year

HEAVEN AT 1,000,000!!!!!

Posted 11:01 AM by Gene

Little did we realize that giant-sized piece of would-be taxidermy in Singapore ARCHDaily drooled over is AN EIGHTY-GAZILLION-DOLLAR CASINO THAT WILL DESTROY VEGAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HENRY HONEST!!!!!'s boys MUST take their meds.

Posted 10:57 AM by Gene

SIC THE FBI ON 'EM, SPEAKER BABS!

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!

Posted 9:04 AM by Gene

[In 2008-09] only 14 programs from the Football Bowl Subdivision (formerly Division I-A) generated more revenues than expenses. This is down from 2006-07 and 2007-08, when 25 programs turned a profit.

Happily they're the only ones that count! (No pun intended.)

The highest median head coaching salaries in the FBS are, in order, football ($1.2 million), men’s basketball ($911,000), women’s basketball ($308,000) and men’s ice hockey ($313,000).

Well what do you expect with CEO pay?

Posted 8:59 AM by Gene

Dotty SID!!!!! has a motto!

(Via I Want Media)

Posted 6:14 PM by Gene

When a hack like Rog calls His Omnipotence "a one-term president" that means somehow he's a two-term president.

If it's SARAH!!!!!!!!!! he's a two-term president.

Posted 5:48 PM by Gene

Robert Blake -- er, you-know-who's lone conviction suggests the Feds are prosecuting him for being a foul-mouthed fool, but he may be a bit more than that.

Posted 5:45 PM by Gene

A useful chart that knocks the PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF WALMART down a peg or two -- but let us never assume the Walmartians aren't after world hegemony.

Posted 9:15 AM by Gene

THE FRUITS OF AN EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL CONSPIRACY:

News Corp., which owns Fox News and the New York Post, gave $1 million to Haley Barbour's Republican Governors Association this year, according to the RGA's most recent filing.

Didn't SLIME give that much to HIS OMNIPOTENCE?

Posted 9:09 AM by Gene

In the NEW!!!!! FORBESLISTBLOG:

1. Gekko Kudlow's devoted acolytes say THE ECONOMY IS BOOMING!!!!!!!!!!

2. [C]RAPPERS are making ZILLIONS!!!!!!!!!!

3. West Virginia consumes (it says here) the most prescription drugs!!!!!!!!!!

Followed soon by any state with lots of FORBESLISTBLOG's readers!

We miss you, Jerry Flint.

Posted 8:53 AM by Gene

Barclays Bank Plc has agreed to pay $298 million to settle criminal charges that it violated U.S. sanctions through dealings with banks in Cuba, Iran, Libya, Sudan and Myanmar, according to U.S. court documents filed on Monday.

As Tony Hayward could tell them, just a cost of doing business.

Posted 8:36 AM by Gene

If His Omnipotence wanted to be bold about it, He would make an offer: We would end the embargo on Cuba if Fidel and his cronies left, and we would guarantee and pay for their asylum somewhere in the Spanish diaspora. Though it is extremely unlikely they'd take it up this would be better than nothing. But His Omnipotence's foreign policy has been nothing but nothing, and one suspects in the back of His super-smart professorial head is a notion implanted there by all the MODERATES He's known that Fidel is actually a nice guy.

Posted 8:25 PM by Gene

We see that James J. Kilpatrick has died. He invented the term "national nanny" -- which alas became a leading weapon in the PC con-SER-va-tive's arsenal. Well, inventing terms is more than most columnists can do. RIP.

P. S. We originally posted it with this link without reading it. (SMART!) Apparently he provided an excuse for news hacks who are so fiercely known for not apologizing to anyone to apologize. So he took the wrong side on something. So did Walter Duranty, for whom no apology has ever been uttered.

Besides, most of us remember him as an overbearing TV pundit, one of the first of that stereotypical breed. We'd say that was worse but he did coin a phrase.

Posted 8:21 PM by Gene

Shucks, that's it for the greatest thing since sliced bread (other than Ground Zero mosques) -- until December.

Posted 6:02 PM by Gene

Hahvahd Mutual Fund hasn't disinvested. It's rebalanced.

(Via -- oh well -- MS. TRAVERS!)

Posted 10:53 AM by Gene

Well we couldn't find the interview with His token Republican but we DID find this piece of junk about pop music!

KAPLAN, INC. at $299.01!

P. S. You have to scroll through the home page to get at it and then it's in the third-to-last graf of a five-page story.

Posted 10:47 AM by Gene

In 2011 His Omnipotence will have to find Himself a token Republican!

Posted 10:13 AM by Gene

"BIG NEWS" FROM LALA via the WOLFFMAN (and via ROMY):

[T]he really big news in the LA Times story about Rupert Murdoch’s plan to start an all new national newspaper for the iPad and mobile devices: The picture shows that he’s not dyeing his hair anymore. The orange (or sometimes aubergine) is gone. One of the things Murdoch is said to have most disliked in my book about him is that I made fun of his terrible dye jobs. Now his hair is all white and cut short, just like…well, mine.

Posted 10:09 AM by Gene

Home-builder index slumps to 17-month low

DOW 5,000,000!!!!!

Posted 10:02 AM by Gene

SNIDELY WHIPLASH has been "cleared" by the Feds, but to us, he's still an HONORARY crook.

And POLITICO.COM reminds us there's the little matter of his Texas trial -- and even if he's found innocent he'll STILL be an honorary crook to us.

Posted 9:50 AM by Gene

For-profit-college students welsh on their loans -- and KAPLAN, INC.'s at a fifteen-year low!

I guess all those deadbeats can't finance THE TRUTH that much.

Posted 9:13 AM by Gene

Hey I'm a friend of Bill's too! Can I join him?

Posted 9:00 AM by Gene

Where's The Beauty In Today's Architecture [SIC!]

Every day in ARCHDaily!

The link, alas, is to one of those highly verbose think pieces to which AHTSJournal is always drawn like moths to a flame, though this one never gets singed.

Posted 8:56 AM by Gene

The Crainiacs are AGHAST:

Turbulence at 10: Has JetBlue Become Just Another Airline?

Isn't it safe to say every airline's just another airline?

Posted 8:38 AM by Gene

All right, may as well level with my two readers; our nation won't stand or fall if this community center goes up, or fails to. And any religious society can build any temple where it pleases (abiding by zoning and traffic regulations of course). But this masterstroke was a statement. And tolerance is a slandered word because those most apt to use it are those least likely to have it. The recent adventures of the fightin' JOURNOLISTER and the righteous state rep tell us that much. Unless you're willing to give equal rights to conservatives as to Muslims -- and judging from Prof. Mark's address I'd say he has high blood pressure too -- then SHUT UP.

Posted 8:36 AM by Gene

Nor am I sure the author of When Brute Force Fails: How to Have Less Crime and Less Punishment should be allowed to talk about "national security" without being laughed at.

What IS with our state press today?

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

We wonder how many news hacks have high blood pressure. We suspect if pundits could be barred from employment for high blood pressure there'd be hardly any pundits. (Hallelujah!) We also wonder how many of them write as a form of therapy for their maladies. We could see Mark, for instance, using this as a way to calm himself down after a session screaming at his mirror over the perfidy of Nazis. I have high blood pressure too, which blogging does no good for, and I certainly don't write for therapy. But piffle like "only the jihadists will win" could only come from writing as therapy, and I'm sick of these typists using their undeserved luck as an excuse for projection.

Besides, PEOPLE WARNER is the last company I'd trust to have my interests at heart.

Posted 8:44 PM by Gene

So -- the Hahvahd Mutual Fund has divested from Israel.

Who's next?

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

FLIP....

President Barack Obama on Saturday sought to defuse the controversy over his remarks on plans to build a mosque near Ground Zero, insisting that he wasn’t endorsing the specific project but making a general plea for religious tolerance toward all.

"In this country we treat everybody equally and in accordance with the law, regardless of race, regardless of religion,” Obama told reporters Saturday when asked about his remarks at a White House dinner marking the start of Ramadan.

“I was not commenting and I will not comment on the wisdom of making the decision to put a mosque there,” Obama continued. “I was commenting very specifically on the right people have that dates back to our founding...."

------------------------------------

But let me be clear. As a citizen, and as President, I believe that Muslims have the same right to practice their religion as everyone else in this country. (Applause.) And that includes the right to build a place of worship and a community center on private property in Lower Manhattan, in accordance with local laws and ordinances. This is America. [Emphasis added]

FLOP!

Posted 1:59 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Twenty-five years ago King Mark would have been LEGENDARY WELCH. Today we see him for what he was: an imperial SOB.

(Via a contributor to WOLFFMAN!!!!!)

Posted 1:13 PM by Gene

One of the WAX's assistants started an argument by saying movee houses will disappear in ten years. His follow up isn't so enticing. We all know movee houses are obsolete, but what will replace them is television. Yes, it may be on one of THE LORD GOD STEVE's FOXCONN-assembled wonders, and yes you'll be able to see a movee ANYWHERE, but that makes it PAY TV, and that is no advancement. As we said before many if not most "movies" are shot on video equipment already. And it will be more difficult to sell movees as special when they become indistinguishable from specials except for their CGI. The movees, in short, will become a slightly more pretentious form of television, and this peon can't tell one kind of TV from the next, except when he has to pay for it.

Posted 10:11 AM by Gene

Look at these names: Matt Kuchar, Nick Watley, Jim Furyk, Jason Dufner, Bryce Molder, Dustin Johnson, Seung Yul Noh, Rory McIlroy, Zach Johnson, Simon Kahn. This is why golf is destined for the wilderness for a very long time.

Posted 10:06 AM by Gene

It's official: His Omnipotence is president of the hard left. Where's the president for the rest of us?



Strangely news-hack celebrations seem muted, perhaps because KAPLAN, INC. is at $343, over $200 off its dirt-cheap most undervalued premium. (The FEDERAL-SHAKEDOWN DIVISION appears in the THIRD-TO-LAST GRAF, a reminder that two letters of ALAN ABELSON's name are B and S.)

Also SLIMDOM is almost half-off its highs, McCLATCHY BANKRUPTCY COMPANY is sixty percent off -- we may never see GanNETt at single digits again but things are looking up for those who love the press!

Posted 3:01 PM by Gene

The shorts are betting AGAINST ST. WARREN????? Heaven forfend!!!!!

Being an EDUCRAT will do that to you!

Posted 12:14 PM by Gene

It's limo-ensconced FATSO, but he's on to something:

[T]he entire business world has figured out how to make huge buckets of money without hiring us to work for them. I'm not sure how in the long run this benefits these companies. Maybe the same robots who make most things now are also programmed to buy them?

Posted 11:14 AM by Gene

We just started one of the biggest government boondoggles in history and the voters aren't giving us CREDIT?!?!?

Posted 11:11 AM by Gene

Jeff "Tony Hayward" Bew-KES is making a BUGS BUNNY LIVE-ACTION/CGI!

WHAT A MAROON!

Posted 11:09 AM by Gene

JOKE OF THE DAY: A bank has foreclosed on the home owned by the head of the Philadelphia Housing Authority.

Posted 9:39 AM by Gene

Thanks to a wasteful acquisition FORBESLIST.com is slowly transforming itself into a glorified blog, with predictable results. Today this typist laments that men don't go to see "chick flicks". Truly the piece deserves a P-Ulitzer for its insight! A romantic comedy could appeal to men if it served them enough cheesecake (see above). Unfortunately, today's female ac-TORS cannot combine good comedy and good looks, being in short supply of both, and shorter supply of the latter (see here).

Posted 9:34 AM by Gene

Another stroke of genius for fans of ARCHDaily!

(Via the usual AHTSJournal)

Posted 9:16 AM by Gene

BRIAN ROBBER! ABANDON BATTLESHIP!

Fogelson also said the studio has planned carefully in preparing to shoot on the water, dismissing critics citing the "water issue." If water movies were invariably troubled, he said, "Disney shouldn't have made 'Pirates of the Caribbean'." That franchise has brought in $1.6 billion; Disney, in fact, has tightened its script for the now-shooting 'Pirates 4" to make it less water-based than the previous films.

Universal was swamped with negative press in 1995 when it produced Kevin Costner's "Waterworld," which had a budget that soared to a then-record $175 million. That troubled production had to deal with a set-destroying hurricane, and Costner seemed lost at sea as a director. James Cameron also faced much-publicized challenges while making "The Abyss," which ended up grossing $54 million in 1989.

One way Universal has kept "Battleship" from going over the brink was organizing the shoot in a way that keeps it on land as much as possible.

This film needs a torpedo -- or an iceberg.

Posted 8:54 AM by Gene

Six of one: A talk-radio loudmouth using a bad word.

Half-a-dozen of the other: REV. AL getting more face time to complain.

A special PC demerit to the TWXSTERS!

Posted 8:46 AM by Gene

Gee whiz, don't YOU wish YOU had a Congressman friend who could always get YOU out of trouble?

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

An ad link in COMMENTARYMAGAZINE.COM.

JPOD, aren't we a little...desperate?

Posted 8:41 AM by Gene

``THERE'S A MILLION PEOPLE NOT WORKING IN FLORIDA. WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE YACHT ALL THE TIME?!?!?'' [Not-working overemphasis added]

Because lack of judgment in a prospective senator is always far more interesting.

Posted 8:38 AM by Gene

"This will be an irreversible step."

Okay NUKEMAN, now you can start planning for TEL AVIV!

Posted 5:53 PM by Gene

Dan Quail, Quaayl, QUAYLE spelled it p-o-t-a-t-o-e. His son spells it S-E-X.

Posted 2:53 PM by Gene

When will it occur to the stalwart defenders of FREE EN-TER-PRISE: nickel-and-dime your workers' safety and you could pay millions in fines?

Posted 1:54 PM by Gene

An honorary member of JournOList resigns.

Who knew it had members in the state houses?

Posted 11:35 AM by Gene

Now blow out the candles -- but before you do, wish for another twenty terms!

Posted 9:50 AM by Gene

Wait a second! Here the hacks were calling the late KING MARK of HP a HERO for having been such brilliant royalty -- and now they're saying all he did was SLASH JOBS?

Well there's an answer for "top-line growth" -- charge more for printer cartridges!

Posted 9:22 AM by Gene

And the sad thing is for all the ANDY "SELLER" SEILERS and SUSAN W's and CLAUDIA PIG -- PUIGS who've written ad copy there are one or two people at that paper who have an idea what they're doing -- as witness this account of how news hacks generally didn't know Iraq from a hole in the ground.

(Via -- alas -- MS. TRAVERS!)

Posted 8:26 AM by Gene

Notice anything here?

This movee revue is missing a byline!

We have often thought USAOKAY!!!!! should fire its entire show-biz advertising unit. Maybe they've gone and done it!

P. S. at 9:29 a. m. They had to fix it: it's Claudia Pig -- PUIG!