THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Sunday, January 31, 2010
AMERICA'S LEADING PR HANDOUT!!!!! finally realizes maybe that masterwork it and its fellow flack sheets have been touting isn't THE BIGGEST BOX-OFFICE SUCCESS OF ALL TIME!!!!!, and SCOTT (who's probably been looking for that cushy studio job ever since he was lucky enough to wind up with AMERICA'S LEADING PR HANDOUT!!!!!), being the fine publicity maven he is, has the guts to type this:
Studio executives argue that comparing the performance of films today with those of decades past is an unfair comparison....
But it's a comparison studios brought on themselves, says Paul Dergarabedian of Hollywood.com.
"Hollywood has always liked to beat its chest," he says.
It's a wonder PAUL DRECK has chest bones.
Nonetheless, for his devoted use of another of America's great PR kings, A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO SCOTT!
Studio executives argue that comparing the performance of films today with those of decades past is an unfair comparison....
But it's a comparison studios brought on themselves, says Paul Dergarabedian of Hollywood.com.
"Hollywood has always liked to beat its chest," he says.
It's a wonder PAUL DRECK has chest bones.
Nonetheless, for his devoted use of another of America's great PR kings, A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO SCOTT!
BREAKING NEWS FROM THE MESS!!!!!
BREAKING NEWS: Accused 9/11 plotter likely to be executed — White House spokesman
But BOB, what if we have that CIVILIAN TRIAL your Chief Social Engineer has the hots for -- and we find TWELVE IGNORAMUSES who are willing to give him LIFE -- or maybe even ACQUIT HIM? What THEN?
We know one thing: your TONGUE will get us out of any jam, BOB.
BREAKING NEWS: Accused 9/11 plotter likely to be executed — White House spokesman
But BOB, what if we have that CIVILIAN TRIAL your Chief Social Engineer has the hots for -- and we find TWELVE IGNORAMUSES who are willing to give him LIFE -- or maybe even ACQUIT HIM? What THEN?
We know one thing: your TONGUE will get us out of any jam, BOB.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Now the ASSPress pretty well reverses itself and says the MILITANT trials will cost us $200 million minimum, and obviously the Chief Social Engineer is going to scream for them until Hell freezes over, which shouldn't matter to him for we doubt he believes in it.
I have dutifully tried to listen to the highly-acclaimed (speaking of revuer talk) meeting in Baltimore, but to me it's just another example of another overused term: kabuki. Both sides platituded past each other. And while I'd love for His Omnipotence to surpass my expectations -- he still has some wan pixie dust left from his rapidly fading charisma -- there's something about his almost monotonous baritone and automatonic thinking that makes my brain wink off. In the end, nothing will come of this, regardless of how many pundits show their boundless awe with another overused term: theater. Government must be more than bad acting.
The resulting political and public outcry has forced the Obama administration to consider looking for a friendlier home for the high-profile trial, even as the legitimacy of the New York Police Department's security plan and its estimated cost goes unchallenged.
Well, we suppose the PD could protect the courtroom with ten cops and three barricades, and God knows New York's finest haven't always been, and perhaps (as the ASSPress hacks insinuate with these loaded words) some pols came up with convenient numbers to challenge a politically nauseating act, but let us remember His Omnipotence started the ball rolling by saying in so many words MILITANTS were common criminals in disguise, and by appointing a Chief Social Engineer eagerly looking for excuses to avoid his duty to the people.
Well, we suppose the PD could protect the courtroom with ten cops and three barricades, and God knows New York's finest haven't always been, and perhaps (as the ASSPress hacks insinuate with these loaded words) some pols came up with convenient numbers to challenge a politically nauseating act, but let us remember His Omnipotence started the ball rolling by saying in so many words MILITANTS were common criminals in disguise, and by appointing a Chief Social Engineer eagerly looking for excuses to avoid his duty to the people.
The quality of movies has not kept pace with the soaring grosses, to put it mildly. Many critics have cast a skeptical eye at the releases of 2009. For example, in a recent article lamenting the paltry offerings in the fall awards season, Wall Street Journal critic Joe Morgenstern attacked the "compromised, bloated and misshapen" movies of the season.
Even when these new movies are adapted from highbrow literary works, they cry out for better writing. Older movies were smart to employ many novelists and playwrights who honed their craft in other art forms. Perhaps today's producers need to cast a wider net in luring more gifted writers to try their hand at screenwriting. These 21st century film technicians are more wizardly than ever, but the art of graceful, light-fingered storytelling has been lost on the road to a 3-D, digitized Oz.
Consider 10 high-profile movies -- all eagerly anticipated, some likely to be in the Oscar race when nominations are announced Tuesday -- that are strikingly reminiscent of better movies from the past. In some instances these new pictures pale in comparison to classics from Hollywood's golden age. But in other cases, today's movies falter when placed against films from just a few years ago.
Somebody said that in LALA?!?!?
Or is this just another alibi for praise?
This artistic and commercial drought is partly due to production cutbacks. After flooding the market with too much schlock for much too long, the studios are releasing 40% fewer films than they did last fall. But it also reflects a feeling, widely shared by filmmakers and industry veterans, that Hollywood's production apparatus has broken down. Most movies presently manufactured by the studio process are as compromised, bloated and misshapen as they are—even in its darkest days General Motors knew that a car required four wheels and an engine—because the thinning ranks of executives at most studios no longer know how to make feature films that please broad segments of the audience.
An alibi. This hand-wringing sounds so damned FAKE -- perhaps because we've heard it all before, just as we've heard the concomitant RAVES WAY TOO OFTEN before.
Even when these new movies are adapted from highbrow literary works, they cry out for better writing. Older movies were smart to employ many novelists and playwrights who honed their craft in other art forms. Perhaps today's producers need to cast a wider net in luring more gifted writers to try their hand at screenwriting. These 21st century film technicians are more wizardly than ever, but the art of graceful, light-fingered storytelling has been lost on the road to a 3-D, digitized Oz.
Consider 10 high-profile movies -- all eagerly anticipated, some likely to be in the Oscar race when nominations are announced Tuesday -- that are strikingly reminiscent of better movies from the past. In some instances these new pictures pale in comparison to classics from Hollywood's golden age. But in other cases, today's movies falter when placed against films from just a few years ago.
Somebody said that in LALA?!?!?
Or is this just another alibi for praise?
This artistic and commercial drought is partly due to production cutbacks. After flooding the market with too much schlock for much too long, the studios are releasing 40% fewer films than they did last fall. But it also reflects a feeling, widely shared by filmmakers and industry veterans, that Hollywood's production apparatus has broken down. Most movies presently manufactured by the studio process are as compromised, bloated and misshapen as they are—even in its darkest days General Motors knew that a car required four wheels and an engine—because the thinning ranks of executives at most studios no longer know how to make feature films that please broad segments of the audience.
An alibi. This hand-wringing sounds so damned FAKE -- perhaps because we've heard it all before, just as we've heard the concomitant RAVES WAY TOO OFTEN before.
BOOM BOOM BOOM (you know, the golfer who always gets himself in trouble) said he was retiring, but then he must have remembered you-know-who wasn't around, and he quit his quitting.
Washington Times to name RIGHT-LEANING!!!!! journalist Sam Dealey as new editor [NAZI overemphasis added]
Nice going, Howie Hairshirt. So if a rag chose a known left-leaning editor you wouldn't notice. Nor would BROCCOLI.
Yes, we know it's Rev's paper. But yours is 18-percent owned by GOD.
I say it's BROCCOLI, and I say the hell with it! (And I LIKE broccoli.)
Nice going, Howie Hairshirt. So if a rag chose a known left-leaning editor you wouldn't notice. Nor would BROCCOLI.
Yes, we know it's Rev's paper. But yours is 18-percent owned by GOD.
I say it's BROCCOLI, and I say the hell with it! (And I LIKE broccoli.)
Friday, January 29, 2010
Government officials say a flight was diverted to Jacksonville, Florida, because the name of a passenger on board was an apparent match to a name on the terrorist watch list.
Was he eight years old?
Was he eight years old?
ARCHDaily!
A reader sent us this quite unusual project. We don’t know where it is or who designed it, so if you know please do tell us. What do you think it is? My guess, something related with music…
Who knows -- maybe even your readers are ashamed?
A reader sent us this quite unusual project. We don’t know where it is or who designed it, so if you know please do tell us. What do you think it is? My guess, something related with music…
Who knows -- maybe even your readers are ashamed?
I AM ASHAMED AT YOU! USA TODAY HAS ALWAYS TAKEN GREAT PRIDE IN BEING THE FIRST WITH THE NEWS ON SUPER BOWL ADS -- AND WE LET OUR COMPETITION BEAT US BLACK AND BLUE!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, REMEMBER, SUPER BOWL ADS ARE OUR PROFIT CENTER! AND WE NEED MORE ORIGINAL PRESS RE - WRITING ON SUPER BOWL ADS!!!! WE CAN'T LET EVEN A BRILLIANT PUBLICIST LIKE SHARON WAXMAN BEAT US AGAIN!!!!! SO REMEMBER, NEXT TIME, WE MUST BE FIRST WITH PRESS -- NEWS!!!!!!
SUPER BOWL ADS ARE OUR PROFIT CENTER!!!!!!!
(Via MICHAEL, who'd perfectly fit in the USA OKAY!!!!! luxury suite on days like these)
SUPER BOWL ADS ARE OUR PROFIT CENTER!!!!!!!
(Via MICHAEL, who'd perfectly fit in the USA OKAY!!!!! luxury suite on days like these)
Iran was the destination of 40 tons of weapons from North Korea that were seized in Bangkok, Thailand, on Dec. 12, according to a confidential report to the United Nations Security Council by the Thai government.
Two bowls of wet noodles -- in two directions!
(Via FinViz)
Two bowls of wet noodles -- in two directions!
(Via FinViz)
A profit center for plastic surgeons did an interview for SI about the late-night bozos, of whom she was assuredly one (it's down now), and most of the commenters are agreed: Joan isn't funny, Jut-Jaw isn't funny, and Red isn't funny. Batting 1.000 is pretty good in my book.
Now that Democrats intend to throw a long-running tantrum over Justice Alito for allowing FAT-CATS back into campaigns (PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!) perhaps this is the time to unearth my idea that the Nine Fingers should be ELECTED -- with TERM LIMITS.
Let me guess: National Public Newstalk Radio has a problem with Israel. Let me further guess: The problem is Israel.
(Via the usual Romy)
(Via the usual Romy)
Attorney General and Chief Social Engineer Effete Q. Snob must be in a furor every waking moment (and perhaps in his sleep too) because the PEONS will not let HIM try MILITANTS in NEW YORK to show even MILITANTS must be allowed to PROVE they have been PERSECUTED by an EVIL -- oh wait, he's in the cabinet.
And how little sense do His Omnipotence and His Chief Social Engineer have? Even DEMOCRATS are opposed.
And how little sense do His Omnipotence and His Chief Social Engineer have? Even DEMOCRATS are opposed.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Gizmodo, Drudge Fooled by Fake 'TSA Porn'
Nick Dorken and WALTER WINCHELL!!!!! Why am I not surprised?
Nick Dorken and WALTER WINCHELL!!!!! Why am I not surprised?
Dealing with a pregnant mistress and a suspicious wife, John Edwards and a close aide agreed by the middle of 2007 to solicit funds from a wealthy widow who had promised to "do whatever it takes" to make him president, according to the former confidant's new book.
Bunny Mellon, the widow of banking heir Paul Mellon, began sending checks "for many hundreds of thousands of dollars" hidden in boxes of chocolates, according to "The Politician" by former Edwards aide Andrew Young.
Casanova's going to JAIL!
Bunny Mellon, the widow of banking heir Paul Mellon, began sending checks "for many hundreds of thousands of dollars" hidden in boxes of chocolates, according to "The Politician" by former Edwards aide Andrew Young.
Casanova's going to JAIL!
11:36 AM NYSE (NYX) reports delays in quotes on symbols A through HZZ.
Is one of those whizzy computers up to some trading?
Is one of those whizzy computers up to some trading?
Can you recall a CEO leading his charges in a pep rally?
Maybe if a few of the overstuffed seat warmers left their executive suites -- but then the only way they'll leave their suites is if they're fired.
MB2! We wondered when you'd dance the tarantella!
Must've been busy counting the billions for ESPNCORP. If you took company men like MB2 and SHARON out of media you couldn't have media.
Must've been busy counting the billions for ESPNCORP. If you took company men like MB2 and SHARON out of media you couldn't have media.
Boo hoo: ESPNCORP is finally closing the remnant of the former WHINER BROTHERS studio, home of SCREAM!!!!! and Academy Awards®.
WHINER COMPANY IS NEXT!
When we think of the movies that defined the latter part of the 20th century - the movies that mattered, that stories that hit pop culture like a hammer and left a dent – more often than not they came from Miramax.
“The Piano.” “Pulp Fiction.” “Sex, Lies and Videotape.” “Clerks.” “The English Patient.” (See slideshow)
All too often, we may find ourselves saying: Why doesn’t Hollywood make those movies anymore?
We're lucky it can't!
But Sharon, you can always get a job with HARVEY -- and we hope the company goes bust the next day!
WHINER COMPANY IS NEXT!
When we think of the movies that defined the latter part of the 20th century - the movies that mattered, that stories that hit pop culture like a hammer and left a dent – more often than not they came from Miramax.
“The Piano.” “Pulp Fiction.” “Sex, Lies and Videotape.” “Clerks.” “The English Patient.” (See slideshow)
All too often, we may find ourselves saying: Why doesn’t Hollywood make those movies anymore?
We're lucky it can't!
But Sharon, you can always get a job with HARVEY -- and we hope the company goes bust the next day!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
There is boisterous amazement around the BRANSON EAST theme parks that SCARLETT CAN ACT!!!!! But that lady from England proves that just about anyone can sing who puts his mind to it, and ac-TING, we might say, is a kind of music without notes, and once you remove the words from the ac-TOR's hollow head you often get THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST. No, I am NOT amazed.
But what can you expect from interns who can write 913 WORDS on SLIME's Major Bowes act?
But what can you expect from interns who can write 913 WORDS on SLIME's Major Bowes act?
More GREAT: Luke Spielberg's making a musical.
I don't know exactly how tone-deaf the man who tried variety TV 32 years ago is, but I'd wager it's up there.
I don't know exactly how tone-deaf the man who tried variety TV 32 years ago is, but I'd wager it's up there.
I see London. I see France. I see the Super Bowl's underpants.
I see GanNETtoids convincing themselves again if they plug Super Bowl ads hard enough they too can land a luxury suite.
I see GanNETtoids convincing themselves again if they plug Super Bowl ads hard enough they too can land a luxury suite.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
What a difference a year makes. But I’m pleased to report that before I came up here tonight, I was able to sign a contract with my publisher for a new book. I’m going to call it The Audacity of Oops.
Hey Bill Buckleyson! That would be a great title for your next BRILLIANT satirical novel!
Hey Bill Buckleyson! That would be a great title for your next BRILLIANT satirical novel!
The NRF said today it expects retail sales to rise 2.5% in 2010, up sharply from a 2.5% sales decline in 2009.
Meaning after two years we're nearly back where we started!
Meaning after two years we're nearly back where we started!
With Apple Tablet, Print Media Hope for a Payday
TRANSLATION: Now the news hacks REALLY have an incentive to plug Stevedom!
(Via MediaBistro)
TRANSLATION: Now the news hacks REALLY have an incentive to plug Stevedom!
(Via MediaBistro)
Believe me when I say that torture porn flicks embarrass the industry which has been moving away from that and towards PG-13 fright fare.
Oops! Wrong link.
I told you not to believe SUPERNIKKI!!!!!
Oops! Wrong link.
I told you not to believe SUPERNIKKI!!!!!
I've been reading The Roosevelts: An American Saga, by Peter Collier with David Horowitz. At the front of the book, there's a detailed family tree, showing the connections between the "Oyster Bay Roosevelts" (TR and close kin) and the "Hyde Park Roosvelts" [SIC] (FDR and close kin). The branches were linked by Eleanor Roosevelt, who was TR's niece and FDR's wife.
Anyway, the family tree shows the offspring of Eleanor and FDR. They had five children who survived childhood (and one who didn't). Between them, these five children had 19 different spouses.
So?
Anyway, the family tree shows the offspring of Eleanor and FDR. They had five children who survived childhood (and one who didn't). Between them, these five children had 19 different spouses.
So?
Monday, January 25, 2010
Obama to reintroduce himself during State of the Union
Hi! My name's God and I'm running for president.
Hi! My name's God and I'm running for president.
And in more RENDELLISM NoMotown creates a bustling center of activity called Midtown with -- you'll never guess this -- a UNIVERSITY! And a MEDICAL CENTER! AND "[p]lenty of foundation funding, along with state, city and federal dollars aimed at boosting inner-city development"! Which should prevent it from having to turn half its acreage into FARMLAND.
And as the movee biz attempts to hire a new contact with the FBI we see SAMMY GLICK...MAN has hired himself out to something called Refugees International. HE should KNOW.
Massachusetts has tried an extra-strength dose of RENDELLISM, and look at all the good it's done:
[E]ducation and health care employment in Massachusetts grew by more than 20 percent over the past decade. Leisure and hospitality, which includes restaurants and hotels, grew by almost 12 percent.
But average wages in education and health care, more than $900 a week, are a third lower than manufacturing’s average of nearly $1,300 a week, according to state statistics. The average weekly wage in leisure and hospitality, about $400, is two-thirds lower than manufacturing.
Meantime manufacturing stinks because a previous version of RENDELLISM stated HIGH-TECH!!!!! was the thing. Does anyone in GUVMENT know his rear end from a hole in the ground?
[E]ducation and health care employment in Massachusetts grew by more than 20 percent over the past decade. Leisure and hospitality, which includes restaurants and hotels, grew by almost 12 percent.
But average wages in education and health care, more than $900 a week, are a third lower than manufacturing’s average of nearly $1,300 a week, according to state statistics. The average weekly wage in leisure and hospitality, about $400, is two-thirds lower than manufacturing.
Meantime manufacturing stinks because a previous version of RENDELLISM stated HIGH-TECH!!!!! was the thing. Does anyone in GUVMENT know his rear end from a hole in the ground?
The reformed PC Web version of GLENN BECK!!!!!!!!!! chose a fine time to make new friends.
Once a crank, always a crank.
P. S. We didn't click on the link because we can read such stories in our head, and the Web increasingly decreases in its utility because we can read ever more stories in our head.
Once a crank, always a crank.
P. S. We didn't click on the link because we can read such stories in our head, and the Web increasingly decreases in its utility because we can read ever more stories in our head.
The Daily Kaplan tries to buck up itself and its charges:
Obama is the first truly wired president, the first to have Internet access at his desk and to converse regularly via e-mail. This fingertip access sends him "constantly" online, said one senior adviser, and the information he finds there influences his thinking and some of his deliberations. He also "uses the Internet like a normal adult," said another aide, "reading news articles, checking sports scores."
You mean now we have to blame the BUGMEISTERS and the Dalai Lamas of Mountain View?
Obama is the first truly wired president, the first to have Internet access at his desk and to converse regularly via e-mail. This fingertip access sends him "constantly" online, said one senior adviser, and the information he finds there influences his thinking and some of his deliberations. He also "uses the Internet like a normal adult," said another aide, "reading news articles, checking sports scores."
You mean now we have to blame the BUGMEISTERS and the Dalai Lamas of Mountain View?
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Here we were talking about how WFMU's blog had gotten into a punkified rut when one of its contributors (best known for very bad mp3 transfers of stand-up comedy albums on his blog) runs an interesting piece about the LEGENDARY late-night disaster that was The Jerry Lewis Show, and for an honorary cherry he tops it off with a link to an American Heritage interview with Rudy Vallée, who must have been some piece of goods but we would gladly have loved to have known him -- especially when he laid into Frank Loesser, who almost unintentionally revived his career after years of bad movies:
Have you considered doing another Broadway show?
Not really. Broadway is too much of an asphalt jungle. Not that I can’t handle myself in the infighting. It’s now fairly well-known how they tried to dump me from the cast of How to Succeed. The songs I had been given were corny and almost amateurish, which was the way composer Frank Loesser had intended them to be for my role as the tycoon, J. B. Biggley. Nobody understood that I didn’t need any rehearsal of these simple songs. I had introduced songs on my radio shows, to twenty million listeners, that sometimes I had only run over once, and I refused to sit in a small, hot rehearsal room and sing the goddamned songs for three or four hours steadily, which was what Loesser had all the cast do with his songs. Loesser started the ouster, and about two weeks before the out-of-town tryouts in Philadelphia, I got the word that they wanted me out of the show. My contract was for fifty-seven weeks, which figured out to around ninety thousand dollars. They offered me forty thousand to get out. I knew that if I insisted on full payment of the contract, I couldn’t legally work at anything else for a year. But I was terribly hurt and humiliated. They had chased me for months to do it. “Nuts!” I told my agent. “I want the full fifty-seven weeks. I’ll take it and sit on my ass. The hell with them.” I don’t know whether it was the thought of paying me all that money or what, but they decided to let me stay. When the show opened and people started asking what casting genius had picked Rudy Vallée for the role of old J. B. Biggley, they all bowed their heads graciously.
No, they don't make stars the way they used to.
P. S. This is the same Frank Loesser who was so insistent on reprising his songs in Guys and Dolls his director George S. Kaufman retorted, "If you reprise the songs I'll reprise the jokes." They don't make composers and directors the same way either.
Have you considered doing another Broadway show?
Not really. Broadway is too much of an asphalt jungle. Not that I can’t handle myself in the infighting. It’s now fairly well-known how they tried to dump me from the cast of How to Succeed. The songs I had been given were corny and almost amateurish, which was the way composer Frank Loesser had intended them to be for my role as the tycoon, J. B. Biggley. Nobody understood that I didn’t need any rehearsal of these simple songs. I had introduced songs on my radio shows, to twenty million listeners, that sometimes I had only run over once, and I refused to sit in a small, hot rehearsal room and sing the goddamned songs for three or four hours steadily, which was what Loesser had all the cast do with his songs. Loesser started the ouster, and about two weeks before the out-of-town tryouts in Philadelphia, I got the word that they wanted me out of the show. My contract was for fifty-seven weeks, which figured out to around ninety thousand dollars. They offered me forty thousand to get out. I knew that if I insisted on full payment of the contract, I couldn’t legally work at anything else for a year. But I was terribly hurt and humiliated. They had chased me for months to do it. “Nuts!” I told my agent. “I want the full fifty-seven weeks. I’ll take it and sit on my ass. The hell with them.” I don’t know whether it was the thought of paying me all that money or what, but they decided to let me stay. When the show opened and people started asking what casting genius had picked Rudy Vallée for the role of old J. B. Biggley, they all bowed their heads graciously.
No, they don't make stars the way they used to.
P. S. This is the same Frank Loesser who was so insistent on reprising his songs in Guys and Dolls his director George S. Kaufman retorted, "If you reprise the songs I'll reprise the jokes." They don't make composers and directors the same way either.
ARCHDaily!
"2 Sisters House"? Would it be sexist to call them -- it ugly?
OR:
Four white Monopoly houses!
"2 Sisters House"? Would it be sexist to call them -- it ugly?
OR:
Four white Monopoly houses!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
PEOPLE WARNER's former flagship declared Dr. David Ho had beaten AIDS fourteen years ago, which, as you might expect with the hacks, was at least fourteen years too soon.
The ASSPress may not give you all the news you need to know...
Guadalajara withdraws Youth Olympics bid
...but thankfully it gives you all the news you don't.
Guadalajara withdraws Youth Olympics bid
...but thankfully it gives you all the news you don't.
On my usual sojourn down South Street I discovered dismaying news: The Pearl Art store was closing -- it has closed by now -- and I don't know where I'll get my fix of its pungent smell, its arty smell, its paint-and-canvas-and-wood smell, the sort of smell that conjured hardware stores. It appears alas the whole Pearl chain is closing, leaving a Web site behind. Indeed the place was a True Value or Ace shop and it will be a mighty thing to fill -- three stories. Walgreen's occupies one floor of the three-level Tower Records and gave up on a pharmacy. Next door to it three shops including a Foot Locker and a former Mickey D have been gone for a while. There are a few too many other signs of distress on the street. A high-end caterer shut down its grocery end; likewise gone are several jewelry stores, an electronics retailer, a video-game shop, and three of four Asian-owned handbag stores caught in a counterfeit-goods sting. Unlike at the beginning of this de -- ECONOMY the local merchants aren't filling the vacant storefronts with art anymore. The street is still bustling and it will come back because you can't buy ambiance on the Web, or strange cheap clothes and tattoos, but ambiance may not count for much when there's so much you can.
The public service unions have acquired disproportionate political influence, pouring millions in dues money (more than $100 million in 2008) into political campaigns to elect Democrats, the party of government. They pour millions more into ads opposing any reform in government spending, even in states on the brink of bankruptcy, and pushing for higher taxes instead.
But when our FRIENDS do it it's FREE SPEECH!!!!!
John, you should have quit while you were ahead.
But when our FRIENDS do it it's FREE SPEECH!!!!!
John, you should have quit while you were ahead.
So...Paul Har-VEH parroted the FBI when not parroting his sponsors.
Needless to say we are hardly astonished at this. A good bit of Har-VEH's act was faking verisimilitude reading commercials. He was also, let it be said, a PATRIOT. Besides news hacks of every stripe parrot somebody. Har-VEH parrots J. Edgar, Walter Duranty parrots Stalin, Thomas L. Friedman parrots the Chinese Politburo, real-estate writers parrot realtors, show-biz flacks parrot moguls -- the rare news hack isn't for sale sometime, and some hang out the for-sale sign more than others. Paul Har-VEH sold himself full-time.
Whether to charge terrorism suspects or hold and interrogate them is a judgment call. We originally supported the administration's decision in the Abdulmutallab case, assuming that it had been made after due consideration. But the decision to try Mr. Abdulmutallab turns out to have resulted not from a deliberative process but as a knee-jerk default to a crime-and-punishment model.
DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
(Via WeeklyStandard.com)
DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
(Via WeeklyStandard.com)
Friday, January 22, 2010
Has anyone noticed how con-SER-va-tives have gone KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! swooning over the Nine Fingers' ruling on campaign-finance reform? "A VICTORY FOR FREE SPEECH!!!!!" Yes -- if you can afford it. And that gives the whole show away: con-SER-va-tives are merely looking for an equivalent to big media, and they think they've found one in POLITICAL FAT-CATS. Unfortunately as the last decade of Congressional misrule has shown contempt for the people runs BOTH WAYS.
In some ways, it's an old story: Campaign promises are easier to deliver than government results.
It's an even older story: some people would like to see us dead.
It's an even older story: some people would like to see us dead.
Just days after losing their filibuster-proof Senate majority in a Massachusetts special election, Senate Democrats are searching for a way to defuse voter anger that remains sluggish and is recovering slowly from a recession that was as harsh as any in decades. [SIC!!!!!]
It didn't look too sluggish on Tuesday.
It didn't look too sluggish on Tuesday.
In admiring one of our old posts we came upon a link to DR. WIRETAP -- remember his wiretap? -- and he has no shortage of brilliant ideas despite his treachery:
Rep. McDermott Introduces Resolution Urging Senate to Amend Filibuster Rules
January 19, 2010
25 Members sign on as original co-sponsors to resolution that asks Senate to stop filibuster from preventing votes
WASHINGTON, DC— Rep. Jim McDermott (D-WA) today introduced legislation that urges the Senate to amend its rules to ensure that use of the filibuster doesn’t prevent the Senate from voting on legislation or amendments. Rep. McDermott argued that the filibuster gives each individual Senator power far beyond what the framers of the Constitution intended. The resolution has already garnered 25 original co-sponsors and complements legislation that Sen. Tom Harkin (D-IA) has indicated he will soon introduce.
“The framers of our Constitution thought that the filibuster was such a critical part of our democracy that the word appears in the Constitution exactly zero times,” Rep. McDermott said. “The filibuster has created minority rule. It wasn’t the intent of the framers to give any one person or the minority party the power to bring the legislative process to a halt, which is exactly what the filibuster does. The filibuster gives each Senator the power to silence the will of the majority that voters have chosen through the electoral process.” [SIC!!!!!]
Why do I think Tom Harkin has some practice in avoiding the bathroom?
WASHINGTON, DC— Rep. Jim McDermott (D-WA) today introduced legislation that urges the Senate to amend its rules to ensure that use of the filibuster doesn’t prevent the Senate from voting on legislation or amendments. Rep. McDermott argued that the filibuster gives each individual Senator power far beyond what the framers of the Constitution intended. The resolution has already garnered 25 original co-sponsors and complements legislation that Sen. Tom Harkin (D-IA) has indicated he will soon introduce.
“The framers of our Constitution thought that the filibuster was such a critical part of our democracy that the word appears in the Constitution exactly zero times,” Rep. McDermott said. “The filibuster has created minority rule. It wasn’t the intent of the framers to give any one person or the minority party the power to bring the legislative process to a halt, which is exactly what the filibuster does. The filibuster gives each Senator the power to silence the will of the majority that voters have chosen through the electoral process.” [SIC!!!!!]
Why do I think Tom Harkin has some practice in avoiding the bathroom?
The other day I slighted Erich Segal. Marty has run this tribute. When we do things for media we become cartoon characters. It's true Segal was a hack novelist who wrote a silly catch phrase that made him zillions. He was also a professor of the classics and "knew many languages". He was a brilliant man. He battled illness for many years. It says something of the media's overwhelming power and the vast love they've engendered that we judge a man by a catch phrase. Blogging means never having to say you're sorry. It shouldn't.
Much as I hate to mention the topic again I wonder what LEGENDARY WELCH would say to $52.6 MILLION. Very Littler Jeffy could have bought something with it. It could have paid for hundreds of scientists and engineers. It could have gone toward some improvements in GE BANCORP products that could have increased their ROI. Instead it went to a COMEDIAN and his lackeys. The once Goodthings people can't leave show-biz fast enough.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
MB2 says HALLELUJAH!!!!! No more limits on corporate campaign contributions! CORRUPTION RULES!
Okay, we stand slightly corrected, it says here corporations and union can't contribute directly to candidates; but in the real world what's the practical difference? The money goes to the candidates whether directly or not. CORRUPTION RULES!
Okay, we stand slightly corrected, it says here corporations and union can't contribute directly to candidates; but in the real world what's the practical difference? The money goes to the candidates whether directly or not. CORRUPTION RULES!
Oiiiiiiiiiiiiiii:
If our extremely rough math is correct this means maybe these two zillionaire mouths got an audience of 16 to 17 million on Tuesday, or just over five percent of the population -- and that's probably overstating it as a lot of people sleep at that time even in TV households...or use their sets as night lights. (That 18-49 number for Ladies' Man seems to prove it.) And let us not forget these clods have seen a sudden population explosion, and when the headache is gone Ladies' Man and Jut-Jaw will go back to being sleeping pills.
This is the most preposterous story in recent show-biz memory, but one only has to look at the principals to see how it got that way.
If our extremely rough math is correct this means maybe these two zillionaire mouths got an audience of 16 to 17 million on Tuesday, or just over five percent of the population -- and that's probably overstating it as a lot of people sleep at that time even in TV households...or use their sets as night lights. (That 18-49 number for Ladies' Man seems to prove it.) And let us not forget these clods have seen a sudden population explosion, and when the headache is gone Ladies' Man and Jut-Jaw will go back to being sleeping pills.
This is the most preposterous story in recent show-biz memory, but one only has to look at the principals to see how it got that way.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
My colleague Michael Newman likes to dispel the idea that there is a newspaper crisis by pointing out that—thanks to the Web—more people read more newspaper stories than ever before. The only crisis he recognizes is an advertising crisis. The immense audiences news sites on the Web attract would stagger newspaper publishers from earlier eras. Free readers aren't a problem! They're an asset! They're an opportunity!
Good luck to the New York Times Co. on policing its wall. But if I were Arthur O. Sulzberger Jr., I'd be spending more time improving Web advertising to capitalize on the 40 million unique users his corporation-wide sites reach each month.
For the first time ever I raise my first in the air for Grate.com and yell, "Hallelujah, brother!"
PINCH! IT WON'T WORK.
Good luck to the New York Times Co. on policing its wall. But if I were Arthur O. Sulzberger Jr., I'd be spending more time improving Web advertising to capitalize on the 40 million unique users his corporation-wide sites reach each month.
For the first time ever I raise my first in the air for Grate.com and yell, "Hallelujah, brother!"
PINCH! IT WON'T WORK.
Speaking of America's Flack Sheet, finally, after weeks of BS, someone notices the noticeable: the late-night plugfests' audiences have declined -- "mightily".
Thankfully the sugar-daddy advertisers haven't noticed -- and they never will.
Thankfully the sugar-daddy advertisers haven't noticed -- and they never will.
They're hugging themselves in McLean over this junk poll:
It's close, but a new Nielsen viewer survey shows that just over half (51 percent) of respondents enjoy the Super Bowl more for the ads than the game.
Strangely enough we've yet to see any of USAOKAY!!!!!'s sales pitches for the sales pitches, but it is just a matter of time before America's Flack Sheet does what only it can do: personally insult its readers. God knows that's its specialty.
It's close, but a new Nielsen viewer survey shows that just over half (51 percent) of respondents enjoy the Super Bowl more for the ads than the game.
Strangely enough we've yet to see any of USAOKAY!!!!!'s sales pitches for the sales pitches, but it is just a matter of time before America's Flack Sheet does what only it can do: personally insult its readers. God knows that's its specialty.
ARCHDaily!
This cost $47,500?
Not bad, considering. (See! We don't think ALL Modern architecture is junk.)
This cost $47,500?
Not bad, considering. (See! We don't think ALL Modern architecture is junk.)
Speaking of Yahoo!, what is more annoying than the spinners and sellers of the news biz saying SLIME's talent show is a "myth"?
I hate to rain on the parade but am I the only person slightly put off by the SAVIOR OF THE GOP's "modeling" past? And why is the thought starting to sidle into my head that despite his good sloganeering Scott may be a tiny little bit of an airhead?
What's behind Christian-Muslim fighting in Nigeria?
This is the sort of question that almost doesn't need an answer.
This is the sort of question that almost doesn't need an answer.
"We're not trying to do things just to get attention and sell subscriptions."
You work for SUMNER. MORON.
Also USAOKAY!!!!! insisted on running something like this. We know, we know, GanNETt's heading back to $90 -- but is it really worth driving your turnips insane?
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO GARY -- AND HIS ASSISTANT GARY!
You work for SUMNER. MORON.
Also USAOKAY!!!!! insisted on running something like this. We know, we know, GanNETt's heading back to $90 -- but is it really worth driving your turnips insane?
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO GARY -- AND HIS ASSISTANT GARY!
BULLETIN!
December housing starts fall 4%; 2009 starts drop 39% to record-low 554,000
DOW 40 -- forget it.
December housing starts fall 4%; 2009 starts drop 39% to record-low 554,000
DOW 40 -- forget it.
The good news:
Kaiser: First Drop For Real-Time TV Viewing Among Youth
The bad news: They're slaves to every other gadget.
Kaiser: First Drop For Real-Time TV Viewing Among Youth
The bad news: They're slaves to every other gadget.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
A famous name eructs:
"There is only one guarantee - that if we don't pass something the notion of trying to put Humpty Dumpty together again is a real long shot," said Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-R.I., son of the late senator. "If you understand the legislative process, it's a lot easier to pass something and fix it later."
TRANSLATION: Let's pass this Yugo now -- we'll get the Rolls later!
Or better yet -- let's pass this splintered eggshell now and we'll get the chicken later!
"There is only one guarantee - that if we don't pass something the notion of trying to put Humpty Dumpty together again is a real long shot," said Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-R.I., son of the late senator. "If you understand the legislative process, it's a lot easier to pass something and fix it later."
TRANSLATION: Let's pass this Yugo now -- we'll get the Rolls later!
Or better yet -- let's pass this splintered eggshell now and we'll get the chicken later!
But please, no talk of this guy as president! We've already had too many tyros in office.
"My message to my clients? JUMP SHIP NOW!!!!!" said one Democratic operative who advises a number of targeted Members of Congress. "Obama can't help you." [True-believing overemphasis added]
Oh ye of little faith in -- God!
Oh ye of little faith in -- God!
Here's an argument for health-care reform -- the kind that isn't 2,000 pages and finger pointing.
And speaking of Make -- Me Laugh!:
President Barack Obama is likely to name a special commission to come up with a plan to curb the spiraling budget deficit under an agreement forged with top Capitol Hill Democrats.
President Barack Obama is likely to name a special commission to come up with a plan to curb the spiraling budget deficit under an agreement forged with top Capitol Hill Democrats.
As part of my continuing obsession with music downloads I've found a site (again, no links) with a fair sampling of the bad music that dominated game shows in the seventies, stuff like "Banjoman Meets Baretta" and "Deep (Blank)", and among its offerings are not one but two versions of the theme from the 1979 syndicated game show Make -- Me Laugh! (emphasis added), yes, the show that dared contestants not to laugh at such outstanding comic geniuses as "Bob Saget, Howie Mandel, Gallagher, Gary Mule Deer, Yakov Smirnoff, Bruce 'Babyman' Baum and Garry Shandling", but unfortunately not Jay Leno, who would have fit right in. I watched it often and never laughed ONCE. This was the show Bobby Van emceed only to die of brain cancer afterwards. I know there wasn't a connection but in a way there is. Make -- Me Laugh! and Bobby Van's terminal illness are a big reason why I think so highly of stand-up.
LIKE CLOCKWORK: IBM reports HIGHER EARNINGS!!!!! and the stock gets hit after hours.
And how much of the BULL MARKET rides on a gale of HOT AIR?
And how much of the BULL MARKET rides on a gale of HOT AIR?
The TRAGEDY afflicting the Bob Hope Classic -- no world top-35! No money top-10! No sponsor! -- says that, as with housing, as with retailing, there may be too many golf tournaments.
It used to be rookies never played the Bob Hope Classic because so many spots were taken by top players. This year, the tournament went 32 deep into the Nationwide/Q-school category to fill its field.
Another way of saying that once you get below a certain level golf is full of high-end amateurs.
It used to be rookies never played the Bob Hope Classic because so many spots were taken by top players. This year, the tournament went 32 deep into the Nationwide/Q-school category to fill its field.
Another way of saying that once you get below a certain level golf is full of high-end amateurs.
Erich Segal, the author of a very famous catch phrase, has died. RIP.
Monday, January 18, 2010
And as if we don't have evidence enough we're in a -- don't SAY that word! Say ECONOMY -- The Econowiz posits Michigan won't fully recover until 2025. "Gov." Granholm and others think it can come back with EDUCATIONHEALTHCARE. So we run programs to teach the unemployed in EDUCATIONHEALTHCARE. What if we can magically put everyone back to work? Where would they work? Oh, EDUCATIONHEALTHCARE. And who would PAY for it? Well, the Feds, and, uh...somebody. RENDELLISM is a circular argument, burying states and cities as it digs its circular path deeper.
This must pass for glamour in this glamour-starved age, but however cute America's Sister may be we'd still prefer America's Lover.
How many have noticed that G000,000,000,000,000,000GLE's prize possession YouTube has been VERY slow of late? When does competition kick in here?
We must wonder too if the Democratic senate candidate has been a victim of blahblahblah, but no one told her to mention Curt Schilling.
And in further blahblahblah, MICHAEL admits Red hasn't been very funny. But then many of his hack comrades say Jut-Jaw isn't funny. Can we just say the zillionaire talk-show midgets are more apt than not to be unfunny and leave it at that?
Blahblahblah:
Because of Jerry Jones' edifice complex, the city of Dallas will get a Super Bowl next season. The Cowboys just won't be in it. At least not until they learn to protect their quarterback, cover anyone named Rice and act like they cares [SIC!] about having the ball.
We all make mistakes; but we are more likely to make mistakes going blahblahblah, like too many of our print sentinels. And this mistake sticks out because sports hacks more than most go blahblahblah.
Because of Jerry Jones' edifice complex, the city of Dallas will get a Super Bowl next season. The Cowboys just won't be in it. At least not until they learn to protect their quarterback, cover anyone named Rice and act like they cares [SIC!] about having the ball.
We all make mistakes; but we are more likely to make mistakes going blahblahblah, like too many of our print sentinels. And this mistake sticks out because sports hacks more than most go blahblahblah.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Now here's an unimpeachable number: Despite some attempted last-minute heroics today the winners will have taken this latest NFL playoff round by a combined 116-34.
Exzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzciting!
Exzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzciting!
Speaking of idiots I've finally figured out why the hacks luuuUUUUUuuuhve the Golden Globs: They're show-biz awards the way news hacks would hand them out -- everyone wins.
And don't news hacks hand out these awards?
And don't news hacks hand out these awards?
'AVATAR' PASSES 'STAR WARS' WITH $491.8M IN US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Record-setting overemphasis added)
...and DAVID "NON" GERMAIN says "inflation" in the fifteenth graf, or three grafs after his weekly sound byte from PAUL DRECK.
Okay, this is "just" show biz. But if hacks can play around with trivial numbers what prevents them from playing with our budget-deficit numbers? Or business numbers? Or health-care numbers? Nothing, which is why the more hacks boast of BOX-OFFICE RECORDS!!!!!!!!!! the less we should trust any of their numbers.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO NON!
...and DAVID "NON" GERMAIN says "inflation" in the fifteenth graf, or three grafs after his weekly sound byte from PAUL DRECK.
Okay, this is "just" show biz. But if hacks can play around with trivial numbers what prevents them from playing with our budget-deficit numbers? Or business numbers? Or health-care numbers? Nothing, which is why the more hacks boast of BOX-OFFICE RECORDS!!!!!!!!!! the less we should trust any of their numbers.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO NON!
If it's Sunday it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:
1. People keep saying the age of throwing money down the sports toilet is at an end. Why? CEOs still apply the scissors to the big bucks come Super Bowl time; Mickey D is busy building a fiscal bonfire in Vancouver; plenty of companies will still prove they can keep up with the CEO Joneses. Who is to say this isn't a cyclical thing? We doubt it otherwise for a sudden jolt in the economy would surely bring the ad prima-donnas back. It would be sensible if these morons whittled down the ad wastage in sport; but business is NOT sensible.
2. Or to put it another way, if WE weren't shelling out zillions for a sixty at the Bowl would people complain?
3. "We all know what 2009 brought to most people, and 2010 is still challenging. But as viewers and advertisers we attempt to be optimistic, and I think that can translate to a new schedule," said Jon Stimmel, senior VP-group client director for Publicis' MediaVest.
TRANSLATION: Besides, there are other things to waste our customers' hard-earned money on, and we intend to waste it.
4. Overall, Michael Niemira, director-research at the International Council of Shopping Centers, said he expects the vacancy rate could actually rise in the coming year. He said store closings are likely to moderate but store openings may be weaker, given that companies were faced with making those plans in the depths of the recession. The ICSC says 4,763 stores closed in 2009, much fewer than the roughly 6,913 closures in 2008 and on par with 2006 and 2007 closure rates.
TRANSLATION: Too many stores still chase too few customers.
5. And SUMNERs and their bean counters are spending even more time with focus groups, meaning their excretions will only get worse regardless of what cri-TICS say.
1. People keep saying the age of throwing money down the sports toilet is at an end. Why? CEOs still apply the scissors to the big bucks come Super Bowl time; Mickey D is busy building a fiscal bonfire in Vancouver; plenty of companies will still prove they can keep up with the CEO Joneses. Who is to say this isn't a cyclical thing? We doubt it otherwise for a sudden jolt in the economy would surely bring the ad prima-donnas back. It would be sensible if these morons whittled down the ad wastage in sport; but business is NOT sensible.
2. Or to put it another way, if WE weren't shelling out zillions for a sixty at the Bowl would people complain?
3. "We all know what 2009 brought to most people, and 2010 is still challenging. But as viewers and advertisers we attempt to be optimistic, and I think that can translate to a new schedule," said Jon Stimmel, senior VP-group client director for Publicis' MediaVest.
TRANSLATION: Besides, there are other things to waste our customers' hard-earned money on, and we intend to waste it.
4. Overall, Michael Niemira, director-research at the International Council of Shopping Centers, said he expects the vacancy rate could actually rise in the coming year. He said store closings are likely to moderate but store openings may be weaker, given that companies were faced with making those plans in the depths of the recession. The ICSC says 4,763 stores closed in 2009, much fewer than the roughly 6,913 closures in 2008 and on par with 2006 and 2007 closure rates.
TRANSLATION: Too many stores still chase too few customers.
5. And SUMNERs and their bean counters are spending even more time with focus groups, meaning their excretions will only get worse regardless of what cri-TICS say.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
As part of my continuing obsession with music downloads I keep finding strange things -- like a musical on golf that is one of the dorkiest things I've ever heard. (No link for obvious reasons.) Not surprising; Peter Jacobsen proved dork and music go together. This wuhk is for people who know nothing of musicals but know enough about golf to think they know something when they know something about nothing. Arnie would chuckle kindly; I can merely cringe. (Amazingly it got a very favorable write-up from The Paper of Re-CORD, albeit with the kind of heavily ironic snicker that seems to be one of its shticks these days.) It is not enough that such a piece of tripe should prove the musical is dead -- it must be a justification for piracy.
On another site (again, no link for obvious reasons -- it's a valuable repository of old soundtracks) I found haunting music from a Columbia B flick called Forbidden Island, one of the last scores by a Hungarian composer named Sandor Laszlo, of whom IMDB.com wrote:
Diagnosed with leukemia in 1955 and given only two years to live, he continued his work in music, and lived fifteen more years.
Such a line is eloquent because it marks the value of perseverance before long odds.
On another site (again, no link for obvious reasons -- it's a valuable repository of old soundtracks) I found haunting music from a Columbia B flick called Forbidden Island, one of the last scores by a Hungarian composer named Sandor Laszlo, of whom IMDB.com wrote:
Diagnosed with leukemia in 1955 and given only two years to live, he continued his work in music, and lived fifteen more years.
Such a line is eloquent because it marks the value of perseverance before long odds.
Thanks to one of TNR's Democratic operatives we learned some "Tea Party Patriots" have proposed a "Contract From America" [SIC!] which includes this 100-watt idea:
No lifetime salary or benefits for Congress
Meaning they'd really be paid by lobbyists. Brilliant!
No lifetime salary or benefits for Congress
Meaning they'd really be paid by lobbyists. Brilliant!
And re the preceding post, a TRANSLATION: Big businessmen are ignorant for cause, and none have more cause to be ignorant than GODS.
(Via Seeking Alpha)
(Via Seeking Alpha)
Leno is believed to make more than $30 million a year in his current job. But the other hosts have not fared too badly either. Letterman, who owns his "Late Show" on CBS, earns well over $30 million annually. And O'Brien reportedly gets a $20-million paycheck for the "Tonight Show."
We hate to flog a horse that is not merely dead but was turned to glue long ago but where does this $80 million come from? From US, through the tax collectors called advertisers. And what has this money (plus the assorted other hundreds of millions in supposed production costs) gotten the advertisers? A deadly self-satire. Oh, they can say, the ratings have gone up. Letterman's ratings went up when he was noted as a ladies' man. This is hundreds of millions incinerated for sheer spectacle, and at least a 3D movie has CGI.
And this article delivers the double-whammy of bringing back Bill Zehme. If ever any writer auditioned to be the next Larry King, it's Bill. Why unearth the guy?
We hate to flog a horse that is not merely dead but was turned to glue long ago but where does this $80 million come from? From US, through the tax collectors called advertisers. And what has this money (plus the assorted other hundreds of millions in supposed production costs) gotten the advertisers? A deadly self-satire. Oh, they can say, the ratings have gone up. Letterman's ratings went up when he was noted as a ladies' man. This is hundreds of millions incinerated for sheer spectacle, and at least a 3D movie has CGI.
And this article delivers the double-whammy of bringing back Bill Zehme. If ever any writer auditioned to be the next Larry King, it's Bill. Why unearth the guy?
“Why would you hand the keys to the car back to the same guys whose policies drove the economy into the ditch and then walked away from the scene of the accident?” Van Hollen said.
And why should we keep the keys with the guys who'd hire two million workers to shovel the ditch away?
And why should we keep the keys with the guys who'd hire two million workers to shovel the ditch away?
Friday, January 15, 2010
TRANSLATION: SLIME and JIM's MASTERPIECE has just launched a CGI arms race with which luck will produce all sorts of unwatchable 3D movies and bankrupt the biz.
Remember CLEOPATRA!
(Via MICHAEL)
Digital pirates illegally downloading millions of popular books, study finds
There goes that profit center.
Whatever can be pirated, will be pirated.
There goes that profit center.
Whatever can be pirated, will be pirated.
JPMorgan Chase & Co reported deep losses on mortgage and credit card loans in the fourth quarter, dashing hopes that consumer credit is on the mend and sending the bank's shares down 2.1 percent.
Quarterly profit soared to $3.3 billion, topping Wall Street expectations, but analysts had been hoping for signs that the bank's credit costs were leveling off or even starting to fall.
In a conference call with investors, Chief Executive Jamie Dimon said, "We don't know when the recovery is."
A God doesn't know when the recovery is?!?
Quarterly profit soared to $3.3 billion, topping Wall Street expectations, but analysts had been hoping for signs that the bank's credit costs were leveling off or even starting to fall.
In a conference call with investors, Chief Executive Jamie Dimon said, "We don't know when the recovery is."
A God doesn't know when the recovery is?!?
Meantime a Democratic Party hack tells us the open secret negotiations on health-care "reform" are "approaching the end", the sort of term whose double meaning wouldn't occur to a fervent Party loyalist, and now we can rushrushrush it through and hope no one notices until we've reelected His Omnipotence in 2012, and we trust this stalwart operative will make many excuses until then.
Zeitgeist hires a new contributing God -- editor!
We wonder why JonBoy didn't do this all along, what with his well-noted infatuation. And the best part is with the fifty people who'll write this for His Omnipotence he can temporarily increase his staff!
(First two links today via MediaBistro)
We wonder why JonBoy didn't do this all along, what with his well-noted infatuation. And the best part is with the fifty people who'll write this for His Omnipotence he can temporarily increase his staff!
(First two links today via MediaBistro)
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Research outfit Sysomos reports that of the 8 billion tweets last year, 24% were from bots. So before you retweet that post, you may want to ask for ID.
GASP! Twitter is another form of SPAM?!?!?
GASP! Twitter is another form of SPAM?!?!?
One site that's definitely lost its appeal is WFMU's blog. It was one thing to play for MP3.com 45 years ago but it's not so edifying now.
Speaking of talk shows the other day as part of my continuing obsession with music downloads I found an album of Doc Severinsen and the Tonight Show band. (Wrong -- it's for sale.) Hearing "Johnny's Theme" you might think it came from a synthesizer. Part of it was the vast overengineering of the day, with its strident highs and fake reverb; but part of it was the band, and this band knew how to play only one way -- LOUD. That some hack arranger mangled great tunes like "One O'Clock Jump" and "Don't Be That Way" intensified the noise. One can't really blame them as they might have wanted to be noticed, playing mostly in and out of commercial breaks, but I like my big band with nuance. If The Tonight Show's still on in five years it may be reduced to a street musician with a Casio organ -- quite fitting, I'm afraid.
We salute Dodge for being "the sole domestic automaker" to entitle its executives to a luxury suite at the SUPER BOWL.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
The Slickster is right that Haiti needs long-term help but one wonders if geography and history haven't condemned it to misery. It has not escaped our notice that the WORRRRRRULD COMMUNITY is doing for Haiti what it has done for Iran -- dispensing a brimful of platitudes and indifference.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The blogomiasma has made a big thing out of an interview ED MURROW did with some INFAMOUS!!!!! Dubya apparatchik, and goshdarnit if somebody didn't have a chain-reaction pile-up with the obvious:
After being outmaneuvered for nearly 30 minutes, [Murrow] grudgingly admitted that he was "not very equipped to handle the discussion." It was a sobering reminder that for years, a mostly pliant press has allowed a comedian to do a reporters' job. Yesterday, we were reminded how inadequate a solution that really is.
Perhaps a mostly pliant press would do more if it STOPPED WATCHING TELEVISION.
(Second link via, alas, Jo-NAHDOM)
After being outmaneuvered for nearly 30 minutes, [Murrow] grudgingly admitted that he was "not very equipped to handle the discussion." It was a sobering reminder that for years, a mostly pliant press has allowed a comedian to do a reporters' job. Yesterday, we were reminded how inadequate a solution that really is.
Perhaps a mostly pliant press would do more if it STOPPED WATCHING TELEVISION.
(Second link via, alas, Jo-NAHDOM)
Three most recent posts on Calculated Risk:
Rail Traffic in 2009: Lowest since at least 1988
City Budgets under Stress [sic]
MBA: Mortgage Purchase Applications Flat
DOW 30...oh, never mind.
Rail Traffic in 2009: Lowest since at least 1988
City Budgets under Stress [sic]
MBA: Mortgage Purchase Applications Flat
DOW 30...oh, never mind.
“He’s much too old for that job,” quipped the longtime moderator of Face the Nation, Bob Schieffer, who at 72 is three years Koppel’s senior.
You tell him, Bob!
And too rich.
(Via MediaBistro)
You tell him, Bob!
And too rich.
(Via MediaBistro)
In a research report published by Barclays Capital on Wednesday, Anthony J. DiClemente and George L. Hawkey called “Avatar” an “outlier”: a unique event that leaves the business environment around it largely intact.
“While ‘Avatar’ is likely a watershed for digital and 3-D technology,” they wrote, “it does not tell us that the underlying economics of the film business have changed.”
TRANSLATION: SLIME and JIM's mammoth piece of video machinery is not The Jazz Singer.
“While ‘Avatar’ is likely a watershed for digital and 3-D technology,” they wrote, “it does not tell us that the underlying economics of the film business have changed.”
TRANSLATION: SLIME and JIM's mammoth piece of video machinery is not The Jazz Singer.
The recorded...SOUND trade is among the first we'd accuse of price fixing, and price fixing is a big reason for piracy.
P. S. Our friends in Mountain View do it again:
(Via Seeking Alpha)
P. S. Our friends in Mountain View do it again:
(Via Seeking Alpha)
What makes the catastrophe in Haiti far worse is that the country is among those least able to afford it.
This is one of the very few justifications for world government, or even the League of Nations -- and even the most well-intentioned relief efforts find a way to screw up.
This is one of the very few justifications for world government, or even the League of Nations -- and even the most well-intentioned relief efforts find a way to screw up.
Obama Budget Could Include Spending Cuts
1. ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
2. Defense, and...oh, defense should be enough.
3. Spending umpteen gazillion more on our dreams should justify the spending cuts.
Hold on:
Any spending cuts would probably not apply to the Defense Department or entitlement programs like Social Security and Medicare.
They would be concentrated in the roughly 20 percent of government spending that goes to scientific research, education, transportation infrastructure or other domestic programs that are funded by Congress each year.
TRANSLATION: Penny wise, meaningless, or both.
1. ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
2. Defense, and...oh, defense should be enough.
3. Spending umpteen gazillion more on our dreams should justify the spending cuts.
Hold on:
Any spending cuts would probably not apply to the Defense Department or entitlement programs like Social Security and Medicare.
They would be concentrated in the roughly 20 percent of government spending that goes to scientific research, education, transportation infrastructure or other domestic programs that are funded by Congress each year.
TRANSLATION: Penny wise, meaningless, or both.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Here is the most potent symbol of the Wall Street Casino: Anyone who's ever had to shop in A&P stores will know how bad they are (and in the DARK SHADOWS chain they've perfected a new kind of high-end bad); but the people who play the Casino don't know, nor would they want to (although that kerflumph in May might have given them pause). Today GAP announced a $559.6 million quarterly loss and a virtual total writedown of its Pathmark acquisition, but as GEKKO KUDLOWS will gladly tell you, today is just a slight -- pause.
John Simon offers up a eulogy for a good chunk of our culture:
The Public Theater’s Under the Radar Festival, running in New York through this weekend, was established as an outlet for shows considered too marginal for the main stage.
I contend that in these permissive days, an adversarial theater has become undistinguishable and redundant.
The Public Theater’s Under the Radar Festival, running in New York through this weekend, was established as an outlet for shows considered too marginal for the main stage.
I contend that in these permissive days, an adversarial theater has become undistinguishable and redundant.
SLIME's buddy Michael sez SLIME has fired President Ailes, so what is SUPERNIKKI!!!!!'s latest story?
Nominees For Editors' ACE Eddie Awards
(First link via HENRY HONEST, whose name I've let pop up here too often)
Nominees For Editors' ACE Eddie Awards
(First link via HENRY HONEST, whose name I've let pop up here too often)
Although the president has been criticized by many for being overexposed, he's going on six months without holding a press conference (Fox)
That's helped a lot!
That's helped a lot!
Steve Cohen's Ex-Wife Drops Lawsuit!
Why am I supposed to care!
You've been doing this too much HENRY HONEST!
Why am I supposed to care!
You've been doing this too much HENRY HONEST!
Elsewhere in His Omnipotence's favorite journal (or it would be if He ever had a WHINY REID moment):
The appropriate response to the failed Christmas attack is not to open yet another military front but to wind down our wars in Afghanistan, Iraq and Pakistan and emphasize those things that make America an integrated society of many races, faiths and ethnicities.
TRANSLATION: The appropriate response is lock the doors and close the shutters and hope the boogeyman goes away. If His Omnipotence doesn't read The Nation He should, if only to be honest.
The appropriate response to the failed Christmas attack is not to open yet another military front but to wind down our wars in Afghanistan, Iraq and Pakistan and emphasize those things that make America an integrated society of many races, faiths and ethnicities.
TRANSLATION: The appropriate response is lock the doors and close the shutters and hope the boogeyman goes away. If His Omnipotence doesn't read The Nation He should, if only to be honest.
Top 5 Reasons Porn-for-Profit Is Dying
...are in the top 100 in Alexa and Quantcast. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
...are in the top 100 in Alexa and Quantcast. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
Obama Plans to Raise $120 Billion From Banking Fees
And who'll pay the fees? The banks!
Your usual brilliance, Your Omnipotence.
And who'll pay the fees? The banks!
Your usual brilliance, Your Omnipotence.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Reid once asked a reporter whether she “spoke English” and urged her to “turn up your Miracle Ear.”
He once said you can tell it’s summertime at the Capitol “because you can smell the visitors, [who] stand out in the high humidity, heat, and they sweat.” He called President George W. Bush a “loser,” Justice Clarence Thomas “an embarrassment” and Bill Frist, his predecessor as majority leader, “amateurish.” He referred to Alan Greenspan as a “hack.” And he had to backtrack after saying the U.S. was “losing” the war in Iraq.
And that's why he should stay as Senate majority leader!
Anyone who can tick off that many must be good!
He once said you can tell it’s summertime at the Capitol “because you can smell the visitors, [who] stand out in the high humidity, heat, and they sweat.” He called President George W. Bush a “loser,” Justice Clarence Thomas “an embarrassment” and Bill Frist, his predecessor as majority leader, “amateurish.” He referred to Alan Greenspan as a “hack.” And he had to backtrack after saying the U.S. was “losing” the war in Iraq.
And that's why he should stay as Senate majority leader!
Anyone who can tick off that many must be good!
Ten months into President Barack Obama's first economic stimulus plan, a surge in spending on roads and bridges has had no effect on local unemployment and only barely helped the beleaguered construction industry, an Associated Press analysis has found.
But it sure did help politicians!
(Via Seeking Alpha)
But it sure did help politicians!
(Via Seeking Alpha)
An advance in the movee aht from PEOPLE WARNER's DC Comics division, posted in full:
"Jonah Hex" is saddling up again, this time for additional shooting.
Warner Bros. [a marque of DC Comics Pictures] and Legendary are assembling Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox and Michael Fassbender for a roughly 10-day shoot in the Los Angeles area for the movie, beginning at month's end.
Although no test screenings have taken place, the studio has decided to work on story and action during the shoots, working in 12 pages of additional script mixed in with some re-shoots.
Jimmy Hayward, who co-directed "Horton Hears a Who!" and is making his live-action debut with the movie, remains in the director's chair. He will be joined by "I Am Legend" helmer Francis Lawrence, who was brought in last month to act as a consultant.
("Crank" filmmakers Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, who wrote the "Hex" script, were initially on board to direct the movie back in its early stages but were dismissed because of creative differences with Brolin. Brolin told MTV News at the time he thought the script was "awful" but fell in love with the challenge of doing "the most awful movie I can find" if he could put the people he wanted into key positions.)
The movie originally was scheduled to open Aug. 6, 2010, but was then moved up to June 18--the middle of the summer tentpole season. Some insiders said the new infusion of scenes and money was designed to fix certain problems with the movie; others have said it's being done to beef up the moderately budgeted pic so that it can stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the big-budget tentpole crowd.
"Hex" is based on the DC Comics comic book, a Western featuring a scarred-faced bounty hunter. The movie centers on the gunslinger enlisted to track down a former Confederate general who is raising an army of the undead and bent on liberating the South.
Akiva Goldsman and Andrew Lazar are producing.
"Jonah Hex" is saddling up again, this time for additional shooting.
Warner Bros. [a marque of DC Comics Pictures] and Legendary are assembling Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox and Michael Fassbender for a roughly 10-day shoot in the Los Angeles area for the movie, beginning at month's end.
Although no test screenings have taken place, the studio has decided to work on story and action during the shoots, working in 12 pages of additional script mixed in with some re-shoots.
Jimmy Hayward, who co-directed "Horton Hears a Who!" and is making his live-action debut with the movie, remains in the director's chair. He will be joined by "I Am Legend" helmer Francis Lawrence, who was brought in last month to act as a consultant.
("Crank" filmmakers Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, who wrote the "Hex" script, were initially on board to direct the movie back in its early stages but were dismissed because of creative differences with Brolin. Brolin told MTV News at the time he thought the script was "awful" but fell in love with the challenge of doing "the most awful movie I can find" if he could put the people he wanted into key positions.)
The movie originally was scheduled to open Aug. 6, 2010, but was then moved up to June 18--the middle of the summer tentpole season. Some insiders said the new infusion of scenes and money was designed to fix certain problems with the movie; others have said it's being done to beef up the moderately budgeted pic so that it can stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the big-budget tentpole crowd.
"Hex" is based on the DC Comics comic book, a Western featuring a scarred-faced bounty hunter. The movie centers on the gunslinger enlisted to track down a former Confederate general who is raising an army of the undead and bent on liberating the South.
Akiva Goldsman and Andrew Lazar are producing.
Before electronic television, there was mechanical television.
In a sense, the TV biz is going backwards, but then in a sense the pipe is merely catching up with the sewage it conveys.
In a sense, the TV biz is going backwards, but then in a sense the pipe is merely catching up with the sewage it conveys.
Stories like this about how the Saudis are suddenly "liberalizing" strike us as the ultimate expression of wishful thinking. They pop up like clockwork, one suspects on the instigation of WHORVIS Communications, and we would not be surprised if they're timed to deflect embarrassing PR. The day the Saudis really liberalize is the day they put aside the lash and the chador, and stop blessing terrorism in their hearts.
I wonder how many would join me in saying they're sick of hearing of that modern-day version of Red Skelton and the whole lot of overpaid late-night bores. Who watches them? About three percent of the population? What caused them to get this stranglehold of our attention? Just because Jeff Zuck's an immortal demonstration of the Peter Principle does that mean the bores must be plastered on every page? We know the outcome: no-talents keep their zillion dollar salaries, advertisers burn money on shows few watch, hacks like The Original TV Newser! write more insider baseball, and the public is bored by bores.