Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

Saturday, May 08, 2004


STUPID PUBLICIST-DRIVEN HED OF THE MONTH:

Fonda: Movie Making Is a Lot Like Sex

And how much of yours with TED wound up on the cutting-room floor?


Exxon May Pass GE as World's Biggest Co.

All this story says is: 1. Service-station attendants are shaking people upside-down by the ankles, and 2. Little Jeff must buy five more entertainment companies and at least fifteen banks.


Microsoft Names A New CIO

Why does this sound like a joke?


TEXT MESSAGING may ALSO provide relief from EXCEPTIONALLY WORDY BLOGGERS.

OR:

SHOULD CONSERVATIVES BE CONFUSED? I have received some thoughtful replies to my response to Professor Bainbridge's post, Should Conservatives Be Cheerful? including this Reply to Barnett by Professor Bainbridge, and his endorsement of Legislative Tyranny versus Judicial Tyranny by Owen at Southern Appeal. I believe that these post reflect some basic misunderstanding of the position (mine) with which they disagree.

(1) Owen writes:

Barnett's answer is remarkably unsatisfying, because it simply argues in favor of one tyranny over another. Under his standards, American society would effectively be ruled by the courts, who would be vested with the authority to judge which moral standards are legitimate and illegitimate, presumably using the old libertarian standard of the "harm principle."

This statement is mistaken on two counts. First, I do not advocate the "harm principle." Because we are entitled to "harm" others in many ways, this principle is simply too indefinite to distinguish rightful from wrongful conduct. Rather, in my book I argue, as did Thomas Cooley and Christopher Tiedeman, that the proper exercise of the police power of states extends only to protecting the equal rights of others. (NB: Their treatment of "morals" legislation differ.) If a prohibition cannot be justified as means to protect the rights that everyone has from violation then it is improper. Distinguishing rightful from wrongful conduct is the subject of specific doctrines developed in the private law subjects of property, contracts and torts. These doctrines are developed at the state level. There may be many difficulties with my proposal, and I address these difficulties elsewhere, but this and not the "harm principle" is what I favor. This confusion arises because I have written favorably of Justice Kennedy's opinion in Lawrence and he does invoke the harm principle. This is defensible in extreme (and rare) cases in which there is no harm to others whatsoever, in which case a law is problematic. But, as I said, as we have a right to cause all sorts of harms (or negative externalities) on others, the harm principle is insufficient.

Second, it is simply a mistake, but an all-too-common one, to equate legislative power over the citizenry with judicial power over legislatures. Therefore, it is a simple conceptual confusion to equate so-called legislative tyranny with judicial tyranny as if these two phenomena are a symmetrical pair. This error results from unrealistically equating a majority of a legislature with the people themselves, an error the framers of the constitution were careful to avoid. A principal object of the Constitution was to protect the people from legislative majorities, indeed from popular majorities, when motivated by passion or of interest adverse to the rights of their fellow citizens (paraphrasing Madison in Federalist 10). Judicial nullification was thought to be one check among others. The only concern expressed during framing and ratification debates about this check is that it would be too weak, as indeed it has been.

(2) Professor Bainbridge writes:

Contrary to what Barnett seems to believe, I doubt very much that the founders anticipated the sort of expansive claims of judicial supremacy that underlie recent decisions like Lawrence. Certainly, in the generations immediately after the founders the executive branch resisted expansive judicial supremacy.

He then quotes the following from Andrew Jackson:

If the opinion of the Supreme Court covered the whole ground of this act, it ought not to control the coordinate authorities of this Government, The Congress, the Executive, and the Court must each for itself be guided by its own opinion of the Constitution. Each public officer who takes an oath to support the Constitution swears that he will support it as he understands it, and not as it is understood by others. It is as much the duty of the House of Representatives, of the Senate, and of the President to decide upon the constitutionality of any bill or resolution which may be presented to them for passage or approval as it is of the supreme judges when it may be brought before them for judicial decision. The opinion of the judges has no more authority over Congress than the opinion of Congress has over the judges, and on that point the President is independent of both. The authority of the Supreme Court must not, therefore, be permitted to control the Congress or the Executive when acting in their legislative capacities, but to have only such influence as the force of their reasoning may deserve.

In my book I address the distinction between judicial "nullification," which the founders strongly endorsed, from judicial "supremacy"--i.e. judicial control over coordinate branches--which they said little if anything about. If you reread Jackson's statement carefully, you will see he is saying that the other branches should not blindly follow or defer to the judiciary with respect making assessments of the constitutionality of what they do. It does NOT say that the judiciary should blindly defer to the other two branches of government when the constitutionality of laws comes before them in a case or controversy. In other words, Jackson does not in any way advocate legislative supremacy, which many of today's judicial conservative favor in the name of democratic majoritarianism. On this issue, I strongly recommend David Mayer's excellent study, The Constitutional Thought of Thomas Jefferson.

(3) Finally, Professor Bainbridge writes:

Confining myself to the blogosphere, however, I would note that Barnett's arguments have not gone uncontested. Barnett asks, for example: "Is discovering and enforcing the original meaning of the Ninth Amendment activism?" Calblog, for one, thinks so: "We ought to respect it, but we can't come to the court to enforce the 9th amendment. Rightfully so, its interpretation belongs in the Congress and statehouses."

If anything is statement of conservative "judicial activism," this is. Calblog speculates about what the Ninth Amendment might have meant. I presented evidence about what it did mean (though other scholars disagree). Essentially the Ninth Amendment stands for the proposition that (as against the federal government) unenumerated liberties are entitled to the same protection as enumerated liberties. Recall for 2 years there was no First Amendment. Freedom of speech, press and assembly were all unenumerated rights. NO ONE contended that the enactment of the First Amendment changed anything with respect to the preenactment status of the rights it enumerated, e.g. claiming that the First Amendment would create legal protections that previously did not exist. Textually, from 1789-1791, any law violating the freedom of speech would have been improper under the Necessary and Proper Clause. Enumerating the right of freedom of speech neither enhanced its previous protection nor derogated the protection afforded other liberties not enumerated. As to the latter, so saith the Ninth Amendment.

If I am correct about this, and about the meaning of the Privileges or Immunities Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment, then it is judicial activism to say that unenumerated rights are entitled to no protection from legislative infringement because they are unenumerated. Calblog's assertion of this position is itself "activism" of the exact same species that I identified in my earlier post: conservative judicial activists disgarding text that does not satisfy their conception of "the rule of law." As Calblog puts it: "The fear is I think is that if you want the P&I clause to incorporate already vague 9th amendment issues against the states . . . that's a real stretch. Hitchhiking on an already vague provision." Exactly! He does not like this provision because he thinks it is too "vague," so out it goes from the text. There is no difference between him and activists on the left who don't like, for example that Congress has only a limited power over "commerce . . . among the several states."

I am sure there will be more to say--in particular the alleged prevalence and enforcement of "antisodomy laws," but this post is already too long as it is. Those who are interested in the historical practice should look at this. And then there is this lengthy post by Clayton Cramer. Ahh. So much confusion, so little time.


INDEED. It is true this site ranks 51,529th in Alexa (VERY high for a blog), and I will CONCEDE this writing may be thoughtful to those who can guess what it means (ever LESS reason to trust The Nine Fingers in the Wind) -- but the fact remains, this is 1,337 WORDS, and very few of us have time to read 1,337 WORDS of a WHOLE BLOG, let alone 1,337 WORDS of ONE POST. THIS is why the young engage in TEXT MESSAGING: they have no time for ESSENTIALLY MEANINGLESS WORDS. I've said it before: if only I could BLOVIATE like this, I'd get umpteen gazillion hits a year, but this logorrhea is a WASTE of BANDWIDTH and a CHALLENGE to ONE'S PATIENCE. And WHAT'S TRUE FOR NEWS HACKS APPLIES TO BLOGGERS.

Perhaps in honor of such posts we should call the bloviators thereof VOLOKHEADS, but we will reserve the right to do so for a later time.

P. S. A special DEMERIT to ANDY S., who seems to think such perpetual spouting of words is WISDOM.


Commander: No Plans to Close Abu Ghraib

THIS IS LIKE NAZIS CONTINUING TO RUN A CONCENTRATION CAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Another GOOD reason for TEXT MESSAGING.)

OR:

The U.S.-led coalition has a dozen prisons in Iraq holding about 8,000 inmates.

WHY am I thinking the abuses involved a small percentage of all those held? BECAUSE it's ANOTHER GOOD REASON FOR TEXT MESSAGING.

(After reading that latest MEA CULPA of NEWS HACKS I'm NOT giving up on it.)


NORM ORNSTEIN has declared RUMMY can KEEP HIS JOB.

ANOTHER good reason for TEXT MESSAGING.


Of course the problem with TEXT MESSAGING as a news source is that is marches us a few steps backwards to the days before newspapers, when gossip and rumor were the chief news sources. Given the news hacks' current performance text messaging may not be that much worse, and at any rate, with their brilliant work these last few decades they've jogged the whole INDUSTRY backwards.


Having never text-messaged I'm astonished at its brevity -- AT&T Wireless, 110 characters; T-Mobile, 140 characters; SprintPCS, 160 characters; that's twenty to thirty words. No, the world does not need seven-digit windbags to tell it what to think.


Looks like THE SCANDAL will be about producing SCAPEGOATS -- another good reason for TEXT MESSAGING.


Harry Truman was born 120 years ago this week?

We are advancing rapidly into the age of pygmies.


The latest excuse is "text messaging."

Translation: most stories can be reduced to a few words, eliminating the need for zillions of column inches of spin and sell. The NEWS HACKS would be doomed without ADVERTISERS.

Friday, May 07, 2004


I'm not too sure if I'm crazy about these pirates: they can cause interference, and what's more their politics and music are sure to be almost as uniform and reactionary as CHEAP CHANNEL's (i.e., "edgy" "music" and A.N.S.W.E.R.); nonetheless the public must take the airwaves back from the LOWSYS and the ZONS, and if it involves the electronic guerilla warfare of microradio, so be it.


THE PAPER OF RECORD so successfully buried this story that plans for Iraqi elections are ahead of schedule (despite the League of Nations's presence) I found out only through an old post from Mickey.

MORE GREAT P-ULITZER WINNING PUBLIC SERVICE, there, UBERHACKS!


Speaking of BRAVERY, there was a time when an editorial in THE PAPER OF RECORD would have sent all the Beltway scampering for under the desk awaiting nuclear holocaust. Now we may read its belchings and laugh. Back during Vietnam there was no Internet, there were no blogs, and people still respected the press. (Also, JAYSON wasn't born yet.) That nirvana has ended. Today THE PAPER OF RECORD is just another big fat mouth with an attitude.


Who will be the first in line to call for a phased withdrawal, not more troops?

Who will be the first six-digit elitist public-be-damned editor willing to be dragged from his luxury news suite and hanged when Iraq becomes an Islamic fundamentalist state?

As with Vietnam, one brave voice (remember Walter Cronkite on Feb. 27, 1968)....

Next time, do that in the BATHROOM, Greg.


WELL WELL WELL!!!!! MR. HOLY GORE'S FRIEND FINANCED MR. HOLY HELL'S PICTURE AFTER ALL!!

AND SEN. ESPNCORP'S CALLED A MEETING!! OOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!! LOOKS LIKE THE WORLD'S LEADING PRODUCER OF FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT HAS A LOT OF RODENT DROPPINGS TO SWEEP UP!!!!


Although I'm thinking, I'd rather have two phonies go at each other than some six-figure typist compile a quote compendium and speculative thumbsucker with feet resting firmly on the desk.

Six of one....


This must pass for newspaper competition these days, and here the competition is between a plagiarist and a loudmouth; but while I hate quoting something 3,000 times, THE MASTER is as true as ever: "Sir, there is no setting the point of precedency between a louse and a flea."


I've noticed a handful of my handful of surfers have taken some time to peruse my typing.

Please, if you think it any good, let others know. While six hits a day is better than three, I nonetheless harbor the hope I can do better still.


This is not new: Mark Steyn wrote a variant on this before. As he said, the holy cockroaches believe in something, however vile; we believe in little beyond self-preservation.

Why the choice between LIFE AFTER FORD and A NEW STONE AGE?


And at what point do people start figuring that the TORTURE story is ALL NEWS HACKS will cover for months and start deliberately tuning out?

Hey P-Ulitzer winners, I really WOULD like to know what's happening in Iraq BESDIES what's going on several months ago.


Well, I'm glad THAT's over -- now we can go back to forcing DUBYA OUT OF OFFICE.

Onward to VAN HOSING, LITTLE JEFF!

Thursday, May 06, 2004


TWO boy-buggerers.

Possibly the Church is working "expeditiously" because the Church worked like molasses.


Today's Doonesbury: It's all bad.

I wish I knew why Kinsley.com runs such flashing-neon teases for this strip. First off, it's a comic strip, so it's automatically BAD (Family Circus BAD, Beetle Bailey BAD, Cathy BAD, Boondocks BAD, it doesn't matter anymore), and second, it's knee-jerk-liberal BAD (just as Mallard Fillmore is knee-jerk-conservative BAD). Comic strips: they're ALL BAD.


Very good news: those two PILLS of PRINT, Columbia Journalism Review and American Journalism Review, are "struggling." (Romenesko's word.)

Tell me, MORONS: how many people want to read you people saying your biz is NEVER WRONG?

P. S. I feel sorry for the one person laid off from CJR, even if you are a knee-jerk liberal; hope you find a job soon. My criticism of these tired-blood rags stands.


The presence of this ESPNCORP Arthouse Films Books property undercuts ESPNCORP'S case in wanting to (use PAPER OF RECORD talk here) for-BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDuhduhduhduh THE GREATEST DOCUMENTARIAN OF ALL TIME. But MICKEYMOUSE NIXON should have asked this question when remaking the company in His name: SHOULD THE WORLD'S LEADING PRODUCER OF FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT BE IN CONTROVERSY -- PERIOD?

(Sorry for the NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


So let's ROOT, ROOT ROOT for Osaaaaaaaaaaama....

That way OUR TEAM WINS!!!!!


NEWS HACKS have developed hundreds of thousands of ways of being DISINGENUOUS. (But we must throw in the obligatory "depressing" so people won't think we're rooting TOO hard.)


One way news hacks could do us a favor is by providing us with tallies of how many letter writers are for or against their positions, as the hacks are notorious for printing only those who toe their ratty lines. It won't happen, though. Some things just aren't our business.


Parsons is said to be seeking $20 billion for AOL....

In what currency?

AOL, however, is adding broadband customers - 600,000 more signed up in the quarter....

Gluttons for punishment.


One of these things is not like the other:

Fox News Plans Its Own Iraq List

Bochco to Develop Iraq War Drama for FX Network

Inconvenient juxtaposition courtesy IWantMedia.com.


THEY KILLED SAM DONALDSON!!!!!

I didn't know he was still alive.


MOSSAD DEED EEET!!!!!

And Mossad will ALWAYS deed eeet.


THE OPHTHALMOLOGIST WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He needs an eye examination.

This celebration brought to you by



WE'RE MILITANT ABOUT THE NEWS.™


Walter who?

History's GREATEST MAN and you treat him like THIS? HE SHOULD SUE!

Then again, WE should sue.


Shocking and Awful

You HAVE to drill it in about MoDo, P of R.


More STUNNING ACCURACY from THE WORLD'S TRUTH TELLERS:

$93 million Picasso breaks record at auction

Picasso's 'Boy with a Pipe' sells for $104M

The buyer paid a commission, which by my rights is part of the purchase price. This means news hacks debate ALL DAY how much the buyer overpaid.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004


WIIIIIIIIIIIISE MENNNNNNNNNN SAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY ONLY FOOOOOOOOOOOOLS WRIIIIIIIIIIITE BLURRRRRRRRRRRRRRBS....

And reinforcing my suspicions, the equally FOOL EXECUTIVE EDITOR of THE PAPER OF RECORD offered him TV stardom.


To paraphrase, some Iraqis want the West Bank's economy.

Will linking to another blog help me? (P. S. I found it through the only non-automated blog that has ever cited me. Is anyone else out there?)


How many more people will LITTLE JEFFREY have to fire after this MASTERPIECE bombs?

And note the HED. It's YOUR little Goodthing now, JEFF.


A brilliant line in Christopher Hitchens' eloquent piece on the stoopid prison wardens of Iraq:

Colin Powell likes to talk to the composer of the first draft of blah.

And with his son they've dictated a veritable SYMPHONY of blah.

Here's where I differ with Mr. Hitchens: what happened in those prisons was wrong and must be punished; the problem is, NEWS HACKS being in the FIFTH COLUMN can develop an extreme case of myopia, further intensified by their petty politics and self-centered ways -- hence the mistreatment of Iraqi POWs becomes the Holocaust -- and because so many of us are getting not to trust ONE WORD out of these overbearing millionaire frauds we cannot even be sure of what happened there. Punish the mutineers (as Mr. Hitchens aptly calls them), but don't punish the aim.


NEWS HACKS will scream until THEIR FUTURE LIVING QUARTERS FREEZE OVER that sending more soldiers to Iraq is THE WRONG THING TO DO.

Meaning -- it's the RIGHT thing to do.


THE MAN takes on the BRITISH PEOPLE.

Usually I'd say the people win, but people don't have MAN-power.


GOODBYE, Michael Eisner! Hello . . . MEL GIBSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? [Overemphasis added.]

As always, hard-core conservatives try improving their lot by daydreaming.


THE GREATEST MEDIA PERSONALITY OF ALL TIME HAS -- POLITICAL LEPROSY.

OR:

"He’s someone you’re glad to have out there, but from a candidate’s perspective you need to keep him at arm’s length," said Steve McMahon former media strategist to Gov. Howard Dean.

Hey STEVE! Did you strategize Gov into going YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!?


TWXSTERS "SABOTAGE" OUR MISSION IN IRAQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's what news hacks have been trying to do all along.

AND AMERICANS WANT THE TROOPS OUT NOW!!!!!!! WE HAVE A POLL TO PROVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah. And polls also prove you guys are biased. I say they cancel out.

P. S.:



NO THANK YOU.


How surprising: holy cockroaches breed in prisons.

OR:

The inspector general's report, the first detailed look into how the federal prisons have dealt with extremist beliefs since the Sept. 11 attacks, will likely prove controversial among Muslim leaders, who say they have been subjected to unfair scrutiny and criticism because of their religious beliefs.

TRANSLATION: THIS looks like a job for -- SUPERHOOPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Bush to denounce abuse on Arab TV

...while being abused.


Another J'ACCUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESPNCORP! is blocking a film by the saint of documentarians because it CRITICIZES DUBYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe we wouldn't have gotten into this trouble, MICKEYMOUSE NIXON, if THE WORLD'S LEADING PRODUCER OF FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT weren't always so eager to flip the bird to the public -- and if we HADN'T HELPED FINANCE THE THING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

By the way, GREAT CHOICE OF WORDS IN THE HED. "For-BIIIIIIIIIIDuhduhduhduh!!!!!" Why didn't you say CENSORS while you were at it? THE PAPER OF RECORD could employ A MILLION PUBLIC EDITORS and THIS WOULD NOT STOP.


INFAMY. There's a word you WOULD NOT expect to show up in the NEWS HACKS' vocabulary regarding PORN. All this time the GLIBERALS (for the sole purpose of sticking it to Dubya, which seems to motivate everything) have scribbled busily that porn is as normal as Ozzie and Harriet, that its pervasiveness is the sign of a new freedom and tolerance and blahblahblah -- and meanwhile AT LEAST SIX "actors" have contracted HIV, and God knows how many more are infected, and still porn's NORMAL and HEALTHY and blahblahblah. This GLIBERAL mindset condemned untold thousands of gays to death, and it will continue to lay waste to society as long as the verbiage spewers' noxiously selfish notion of unfettered "freedom" (read license) comes first.

Another reason to DESPISE NEWS HACKS.

Tuesday, May 04, 2004




I've found something quite interesting -- and quite sad: an online history of David Sarnoff and RCA, the electronics and entertainment giant LEGENDARY WELCH eviscerated so he could schmooze in Hollywood. Three things did it in: Japan; technological incompetence (witness RCA's failure in mainframe computers and such famed "innovations" as SelectaVision, a video disc played with a needle); and Sarnoff's son Robert, who turned the company into a second-string conglomerate (Banquet frozen foods, Gibson greeting cards) while letting the company's heritage operations rot, thus making it easy pickins for that Legendary vulture. On my trips to work I cannot avoid RCA's ghosts, for visible on my ride from across the Delaware is a minor-league baseball stadium on the site of the old Victor Talking Machine plant; the building with the stained-glass Nipper is now apartments. Who needs consumer electronics when you have Sony?




When FITZGERALD belched that there are no second acts in American lives he didn't reckon on someone with two acts.

And speaking of which...

Mariah Carey is known for her skimpy stage outfits — and now she says she wants to start a line of children’s clothing.

Watch out, America; she'll turn us into a nudist camp.


This is why I often have trouble with bloggers: PROF links to a co-production who breathlessly tells us:

Gorelick Must Go (Now More than Ever): The disclosures about 9/11 Commissioner Jamie Gorelick's role in policy decisions to maintain, if not erect, the "wall" between domestic law enforcement and anti-terror efforts continue. As reported last week in the Washington Times and noted yesterday by the WSJ editorial page.... [Emphasis added.]

Jamie Gorelick may be a scoundrel, but the scoundrel won't be removed if she's a LEFT-WING SCOUNDREL, and so long as ONLY CONSERVATIVE MOUTHPIECES get mad, nothing will happen. We're dealing with two different news forces here: bloggers (and their allies of the right) and NEWS HACKS, forces that have erected walls of their own, and if it's news behind one wall it's partisanship behind the other, and vice versa, and these forces have precious little in common other than a need to bang the drum loudly. I'm tired of getting Rashomon with my news.


Donald Trump Publishes Life Advice Book

THE DONALD'S GOLDEN NUGGET OF WISDOM #1: Make sure you inherit a LOT of money.

THE DONALD'S GOLDEN NUGGET OF WISDOM #2: When in trouble, pass it off to your bondholders.

THE DONALD'S GOLDEN NUGGET OF WISDOM #3: Whatever you do, grow hair.

(Pardon -- I should have typed THE DONALD'S TRUMP TAJ MAHAL® NUGGET OF WISDOM.)


I've only now posted on this story because neither he nor it are worth writing at length about. Clearly the bozo believes he's 100% percent right -- pardon, CORRECT -- and he views death threats as badges of honor. His head's so hard (ditto his heart) it would survive if a piano landed on it from atop a 50-story building. Leave him to the Hitlers and Stalins.




Is it me or am I getting TIRED of seeing that pale green imitation of Satch with two green plastic Bugles chips for ears?



Hey IMMORTAL JACK®! Now that I've pasted some of your SECRET-recipe ALPHABET SOUP® to my blog to show what an absolute NINNY® you are, will you sic the Fumblers, Bumblers and Incompetents® on me for TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENT®?????


If it's not a political network, PETRIFIED, what's the point of buying it?

I think one Bob Pittman's enough.

JOKE OF THE DAY:

[PETRIFIED]...hopes [the network] will become an independent voice in a media industry dominated by large conglomerates....

SURE. From VIVENDI to PETRIFIED to VIACON, if the price is right.


Here are two heds from Showbizdata.com. Judge for yourself which topic stinks more:

SINCLAIR RAISES RED FLAG ABOUT MEDIA MERGERS

VIEWERS WITH PVR'S DON'T SKIP BEER COMMERCIALS, SAYS STUDY

I say it's a draw.


NBC: Worst Abuse at Al Ghraib Done by Iraqi Recruits

This doesn't surprise me either. (Double caveat: it's a NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it involves Don "Flatulence" Imus.)


TRANSLATION: We're taking the CHEAP CHANNEL-GANNETT approach to sending news to the Arabs, and (surprise!) IT'S NOT WORKING.

(Slightly astonishing coming from DOW 36,000. I thought business could do no wrong!)


A Corruped Punditry

That pretty much describes all the pundits who work for RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


LORD KOPPEL'S STUNT WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT:

[P]ulling in a number like this has to be encouraging for a show that just came off its weakest February sweeps in more than a decade in total viewers and among the 25-to-54-year-olds who are the currency of news programming. Oh, that was the wrong thing to say, wasn't it, "Nightline" folks? Try to forget it. Put it out of your minds.

That should be easy with its following.


Gates to pay $800,000 for breaking antitrust rules

SERF! Get my wallet from my pants.


The MODERN American Way:

The hottest-selling item in a local manufacturer's new medical equipment catalog is a hospital walker sturdy enough to assist a patient weighing up to 500 pounds.



Monday, May 03, 2004


EXPERTS: U.S. HUMAN RIGHTS RECORD HURTS ITS DIPLOMACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Among those cited are Anthony Lake, a group seeking to abolish the death penalty, a wonk for George Soros, and someone from the ACLU.

REALLY, SUPERHOOPER, we MUST honor the Reut with an award -- and we'll name it for Alan Elsner!


Speaking of blogs (and I expect PROF to find out in the middle of, oh, 2006), has anyone noticed that Gregg Easterbrook has ended his? He's doing more book writing, he says, and will work on and off line for TNR. We'll be poorer for your absence, Gregg -- and it proves some kinds of writing do pay better than others.


Here's one for YOU, Nine Fingers in the Wind:

A Carroll County Circuit Court judge has ordered the county commissioners to pay nearly $20,000 in legal costs for an adult-themed store that fought county attempts to shut it down.

I know it when I see it when I feel it when I smell it when I...never mind.


When will poor sportsmanship give NASCAR an IMAGE PROBLEM?

OR:

Jeff Gordon said his car was hit by a bottle after the race, a week after fans littered the track at Talladega Superspeedway with cans and containers at the end of that race.

When will rowdy fans give NASCAR an IMAGE PROBLEM?


''Today, I'm reminded that terrorists will never succeed.''



Today, I'm reminded maybe terrorists did -- with a boomerang-curved three-story building and those all-too-symbolic prison bars.


Buffett says prospects deteriorating for newspapers

Whenya gonna sell WaPost and The Buffalo News, St. Warren?


SUPERHOOPER opens his mouth again.

Does anti-Muslim behavior include CRITICIZING TERRORISM, SUPERHOOPER?

Have we ever thought of doing some sort of award, Hoop? The Reut should win SOMETHING.


If the networks didn't devote one hour a night to the conventions they could pull a Chicago on the GOP.

Maybe they'll make an exception this year.

If not, it's bad news for the protesters -- THEY get low ratings too.


I guess we're back to two or three hits a day. I really thought maybe people were starting to discover me. IS ANYONE OUT THERE?


ROMENESKO thinks he PROVES something by posting this editorial saying that the fools at SINCLAIR are POLITICAL TARZANS. Fine. But I'll say it again: most NEWS HACKS don't practice their art on their sleeves; they do it with the clever weasel word, the cute insinuation, and best of all, by thinking alike. What Sinclair did was overt; what your typical NEWS HACK does is covert, and given their intended outcomes I don't see the difference.

He further tries proving something by celebrating David Brock; but if ErrAmerica has demonstrated anything it's that determined media types can run through millions in a glance. Besides, once a sellout, always a sellout.


"As infallible as humanly possible" is Orwellspeak. No, the only way to make the death penalty truly just is by reserving it for the very worst crimes, and not for doing what Tex-ASS does, executing people for stealing sticks of gum.


ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!!!!!

Next stop: TV AD BLURBS.

I don't see any difference among THE PAPER OF RECORD's copywriters. They all manage to be reverse snobs.

And NO, GAWKER, I'm NOT impressed that you "PREDICTED" this, and to find out I'd have had to read tons of political CW and smarmy talk about show-biz and sex.

FINALLY, IN HONOR OF A GREAT...er, REVIEWER:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH (clap-clap! CLAP!! clap-clap! CLAP!!) AHHHHHHHHHHHHH (clap-clap! CLAP!! clap-clap! CLAP!!)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH (clap-clap! CLAP!! clap-clap! CLAP!!) AHHHHHHHHHHHHH (clap-clap! CLAP!! clap-clap! CLAP!!)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH (clap-clap! CLAP!!) AHHHHHHHHHHHHH (clap-clap! CLAP!!) AHHHHHHHHHHHHH (da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da BOOM!!)

That's the LEAST we can do for a man who tried to rehabilitate John Landis. (Note the STORY LINK. I did it because THE PAPER OF RECORD's has expired -- but this is better: NOTE WHO RUNS THE SITE. You'll be in good company from now on, EL!



TCB indeed!!!!!)


START-UPS MAKE IT EVEN EASIER TO JOIN THE EBAY CRAZE!!!!!!!!!! (front-page link)

TRANSLATION: When the craze dies down and a lot of people discover the more "rare" knickknacks you sell, the lower the prices, a lot of people go broke.

YEP, between this and our celebration this morning I think we've fully healed from THE SCANDAL.


Bad news, CONSPIRACY: if you take out P. R. MEL's HOLY GOREFEST YOUR ATTENDANCE IS DOWN ABOUT 10% SO FAR THIS YEAR -- NOT a golden age for movies, ad-blurb copywriters to the contrary.


Another TRIUMPH for FREE ENTERPRISE, Larry Kudlow: The BIG BOARD may have to pay MR. SHAKEDOWN UP TO $36 MILLION in SEVERANCE.

He was worth it though, right, Larry? JUST FOR BEING A CEO.


Here the NEW IMPROVED USA OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wants to get happy about the PRISONER OUTRAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, so what does it do? IT LINKS TO THE WRONG STORY.

People who don't know their rear ends from a hole in the ground want to tell US what to do?


Feeling Left Out on Major Bills, Democrats Stall Others

Awwwwwwwww, pooooowh Democwats. Mean ol' nasty WEPUBWICANS ought to let them in.

RIGHT, Howell [sic].


U.S. Is Losing Its Dominance in the Sciences

...as defined by egghead papers in tomes no one reads, and by patents, many for useless inventions. Didn't they say the same thing around the time of Sputnik?

Sunday, May 02, 2004


Here's predicting G000000000000GLEMANIA starts another: IPOs for blogs. I've mentioned this before and not altogether out of jealousy. After all, G000000000000GLE's in the BLOG BUSINESS, isn't it? I further predict anyone associated with the most OVERRATED BLOG there is, GAWKER, will make noises -- as will FRIENDS of PROF, who sees the hits in his SITEMETER and the ads on his PAGE; as will THE STUPID MOVIE SITE FOR STUPID TEENS (the proprietor's already a SONY organization man); and I'll bet KURT "The Blind Spy" ANDERSEN gets back in -- and this time, INSIDE.COM WILL WORK.


Shucks, Catholics aren't as blue-country as they used to be.

NEWS HACKS! Do your duty. An extra DOLLOP of DIPPITY-DO!!!!!


The GLIBERAL's fingers have St. Vitus's dance, and his brain TEEMS with conspiracy theories and thoughts of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL Republicans. Glib almost seems to smile at the thought of our country going down the drain. (And he can gloat especially hard because it's been proved by THE GREATEST COMPOSER OF ALL TIME.)

Or in other words, THE PAPER OF RECORD could have 10,000 PUBLIC EDITORS, and ONE GLIBERAL would spoil the whole broth.

(And thanks to the very foolish scribbling of ONE PUBLIC EDITOR, we will never refer to it as the Times again, but as THE PAPER OF RECORD -- IN ITALICS.)


I'm thinking Mr. Mark wanted Mr. BLURB, the GREAT DEVIN, to do a COVER, but then he found out the awful truth -- THIS MOVIE STINKS.

The WEB is CLEARLY hurting movie attendance and limiting most of the masterworks to ONE WEEK. It gets out the word ever faster among the core stupid-teen audience that MORE MOVIES STINK MORE THAN EVER -- and even stupid teens don't like wasting their money.


PLEASE, "Hollywood writers," please STRIKE!!!!!

Since when can illiterates write?


Those contractors prove once again they have some spunk.

Maybe CHENEYCOR...er, Halliburton isn't all THAT bad.


I would guess Iran hasn't had much faith in the YAYAS for some time. I'd also say Iran doesn't have the self-confidence to remove their halter.

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