THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Thursday, March 31, 2005
NEUTRON JACK sells on 60 Minutes. HANOI JANE sells on 60 Minutes.
I feel that louse and a flea line coming on. Why must Viacon Network News be in the bug-breeding biz?
I feel that louse and a flea line coming on. Why must Viacon Network News be in the bug-breeding biz?
An -- odd juxtaposition for ESPNCorp Network News's Web site:
Ted Koppel to Leave ABC News [heded, by the way, as an "ENTERTAINMENT" story]
Studies Show Rats Enjoy Tickling
Ted Koppel to Leave ABC News [heded, by the way, as an "ENTERTAINMENT" story]
Studies Show Rats Enjoy Tickling
The time has come to amend the Constitution to allow for the DIRECT ELECTION of the SUPREME COURT, with TERM LIMITS. In writing our Constitution the Founding Fathers did all sorts of things suggesting, for all their brilliance and insight, they didn't think enough -- no Bill of Rights (in the original), no clear means of Presidential succession, the Electoral College. They further assumed that a brilliant man like John Adams would always be around to appoint a brilliant man like John Marshall, and all would be well. They never figured on nakedly political defenses of the indefensible like Dred Scott and Plessy v. Ferguson. They never ventured on the Supremes as a concerted partisan force, on reactionaries so dead set in their rulings they could move an FDR to his foolish court-packing scheme. They never imagined the court as a second legislature, engaged in social engineering and "justice" through international law. They never foresaw a William Rehnquist showing up for arguments with a hole in his throat, trying to prove to the world he was WELL with terminal cancer. The time has come to put these long-winded fingers in the air in their place. Since the Nine Fingers are invariably engaged in politics, let's make it official and have them run for office with party affiliations. This way too they don't get to be cutesy-pie and avoid direct discussion of the issues. Moreover the notion of the permanent appointment is an anachronism harkening to the days when the Founders still quaked with memories of British tyranny. Our government is already big enough that we have it permanently, and BIGMEDIA help out with their own. No, let the Nine Fingers be accountable just like anyone else, if government officials can any longer be so held. Give the people the right to determine our justice system. We're not that stupid -- at least we're no more stupid than men who obfuscate for a living.
"Phantom" DVD to Have Four Hours of Extra Features
TRANSLATION: The movie BOMBED so we'll just stuff the video with all the outtakes.
TRANSLATION: The movie BOMBED so we'll just stuff the video with all the outtakes.
THIS IS THE FIFTH AND LAST TIME I LINK TO SOMETHING LINKED FROM ROMY. When will these cretins realize they could print every blasted page in full color, and use all-single-syllable words, and prohibit anyone over 25 from reading, and turn every last page over to POP CUL-TYURE press releases and anything someone's decided is HIP, and it would never change the press's UNCHANGEABLE BIAS AND TORPOR AND CONTEMPT FOR ITS READERS? Because there's no conceivable way the industry can change rapidly -- and more to the point, attract disaffected CONSERVATIVES -- the industry's bound to increasingly fail.
A postscript to a certain story, from the geeks of Slashdot:
Nilchii writes "The Guardian has an article about implanting electrodes in the brain, allowing paralyzed people to control various software-integrated devices, such as the cursor on a computer and the channel and volume of his television. From the article: 'The experiment took place a few months ago as part of a broader trial into what are known in the business as brain-computer interfaces. Although it is early days, aficionados of the technology see a world where brain implants return ability to those with disability, allowing them to control all manner of devices by thought alone.'" The BBC has coverage of this as well, and we've mentioned this research before.
I'm not crazy about the Frankensteining of humans, but I'm not crazy about judges, people whose job titles include the word ethics, and NEWS HACKS playing God either.
Nilchii writes "The Guardian has an article about implanting electrodes in the brain, allowing paralyzed people to control various software-integrated devices, such as the cursor on a computer and the channel and volume of his television. From the article: 'The experiment took place a few months ago as part of a broader trial into what are known in the business as brain-computer interfaces. Although it is early days, aficionados of the technology see a world where brain implants return ability to those with disability, allowing them to control all manner of devices by thought alone.'" The BBC has coverage of this as well, and we've mentioned this research before.
I'm not crazy about the Frankensteining of humans, but I'm not crazy about judges, people whose job titles include the word ethics, and NEWS HACKS playing God either.
THE NAZI RIGHT WILL KILL BUB!!!!!
Honest, Romy, that you've inspired four posts today does not mean you're scintillating, it means you have an uncanny way of seeking out what's risible in the news biz, and that your brain has the consistency and pliability of reinforced concrete.
Honest, Romy, that you've inspired four posts today does not mean you're scintillating, it means you have an uncanny way of seeking out what's risible in the news biz, and that your brain has the consistency and pliability of reinforced concrete.
With LORD KOPPEL OF ESPNDOM retiring that means NIGHTLIGHT or whatever it's called will retire, which means late-night "comedians" to beyond the horizon, which means (and we'll be getting lots of this on the magical day in December) THE DEATH OF NEWS.
P. S. He's not retiring, actually -- he's just quitting ESPNCorp. One guesses in time he and his NIGHTSHIFT partner Tom will acquire a few foundation (and TAX) dollars and do what GOD did, build an Everest he can scale regularly to hector the CONSERVATIVES, whom he'll feel less of a compunction not to anger, if he ever had one.
P. S. He's not retiring, actually -- he's just quitting ESPNCorp. One guesses in time he and his NIGHTSHIFT partner Tom will acquire a few foundation (and TAX) dollars and do what GOD did, build an Everest he can scale regularly to hector the CONSERVATIVES, whom he'll feel less of a compunction not to anger, if he ever had one.
Aw SHUCKS ROMY, here we're expecting you to treat us to a year-long extension of the period of mourning for THE GREAT GONZO, and instead you link to a piece that says NEWS HACKS almost intentionally played down the suicide angle. What hope can we have for the CW if you won't uphold it as you always do?
Thankfully your link says nothing of suicide. CW LIVES!
Thankfully your link says nothing of suicide. CW LIVES!
More of that FAMOUS ROMY WISDOM from an ALTERNARAG (Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-U!!):
"Journalism is an attempt by people who are independent of other institutions to understand and explain the world to people."
This from an ULTRA-PC JERNALISM PROF who thinks BUSH=HIT...oh never mind.
Of course nobody in this biz is "independent." Bob has his ideological crutches like NOAM, RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!S have their ideological crutches like SNIDELY WHIPLASH, and Bob and RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! are agreed on the essential: THE PUBLIC BE DAMNED. WE'D RATHER DEMAGOGUE.
"Journalism is an attempt by people who are independent of other institutions to understand and explain the world to people."
This from an ULTRA-PC JERNALISM PROF who thinks BUSH=HIT...oh never mind.
Of course nobody in this biz is "independent." Bob has his ideological crutches like NOAM, RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!S have their ideological crutches like SNIDELY WHIPLASH, and Bob and RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! are agreed on the essential: THE PUBLIC BE DAMNED. WE'D RATHER DEMAGOGUE.
I think we should pay GREAT ATTENTION to the fact that a FORMER U. S. SENATOR (a DEMOCRAT), a FORMER DEPUTY U. S. AMBASSADOR to the LEAGUE OF NATIONS, and a FORMER AMBASSADOR to SIERRA LEONE (under SLICK) are OPPOSED to this COWARDLY NOMINATION.
Yep, some people wither and die when subjected to PLAIN SPEAKING.
Arthur A. Hartman, ambassador to France and the Soviet Union under Presidents Carter and Reagan and assistant secretary of state for European affairs under President Nixon...James F. Leonard, deputy ambassador to the U.N. in the Ford and Carter administrations; Princeton [!] N. Lyman, ambassador to South Africa and Nigeria under Presidents Reagan, George H.W. Bush and Clinton; Monteagle [!!] Stearns, ambassador to Greece and Ivory Coast in the Ford, Carter and Reagan administrations; and Spurgeon M. Keeny Jr. [!!!], deputy director of the Arms Control Agency in the Carter administration....
All say ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-CHING!
Yep, some people wither and die when subjected to PLAIN SPEAKING.
Arthur A. Hartman, ambassador to France and the Soviet Union under Presidents Carter and Reagan and assistant secretary of state for European affairs under President Nixon...James F. Leonard, deputy ambassador to the U.N. in the Ford and Carter administrations; Princeton [!] N. Lyman, ambassador to South Africa and Nigeria under Presidents Reagan, George H.W. Bush and Clinton; Monteagle [!!] Stearns, ambassador to Greece and Ivory Coast in the Ford, Carter and Reagan administrations; and Spurgeon M. Keeny Jr. [!!!], deputy director of the Arms Control Agency in the Carter administration....
All say ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-CHING!
NEWS HACKS, JUDGES AND BIOETHICISTS WIN!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
Okay BUB, you got the MONEY, but one thing we hope you may have trouble finding is PEACE OF MIND.
Waiting for that AUTOPSY of yours, BUB.
One good thing: we won't have to hear this story any more -- at least until the AUTOPSY.
Okay BUB, you got the MONEY, but one thing we hope you may have trouble finding is PEACE OF MIND.
Waiting for that AUTOPSY of yours, BUB.
One good thing: we won't have to hear this story any more -- at least until the AUTOPSY.
The KNIGHTRIDDER (pffffffffft!) CW (and the NEWS HACKS' CW) is that Mr. Acquit was a GREAT CIVIL-RIGHTS LEADER, second only to Dr. King.
I SAY IT'S SPINACH, AND I SAY THE HELL WITH IT.
Hey why don't you start that A&E TAB in PHILLY, KNIGHT? If it'll put a paper or two of yours OUT OF BIZ.
I SAY IT'S SPINACH, AND I SAY THE HELL WITH IT.
Hey why don't you start that A&E TAB in PHILLY, KNIGHT? If it'll put a paper or two of yours OUT OF BIZ.
The NEXT BIG RENDELLISM: ROCK CONCERTS.
Well ROCK CONCERTS give a city ELAN. And ELAN is what you need to attract TOURISTS. AND TOURISTS are what you need to hire all the MAIDS and JANITORS and BELLHOPS and DISHWASHERS you need to bring a city into da 21ST-CENTURY ECONOMY.
Well ROCK CONCERTS give a city ELAN. And ELAN is what you need to attract TOURISTS. AND TOURISTS are what you need to hire all the MAIDS and JANITORS and BELLHOPS and DISHWASHERS you need to bring a city into da 21ST-CENTURY ECONOMY.
USAOKAY!!!!! says CEO PAY'S ZOOMING TO THE STRATOSPHERE (and you have to wonder if it's a good or a bad thing as it 's something we can NEUHARTH about). BUT:
Board consultants contend CEO pay would have been even higher if not for more diligence. "Directors are giving a lot more consideration to what they're handing out," says Blair Jones of Sibson Consulting.
Veteran board consultant Ira Kay of Watson Wyatt agrees. "Keep in mind that what executives are asking for is quite a bit more than what compensation committees are giving. So it could have been worse."
In other words, instead of getting $50 mill, they could have gotten $200 mill. I'm impressed.
Where's CALPERS when you need it?
Board consultants contend CEO pay would have been even higher if not for more diligence. "Directors are giving a lot more consideration to what they're handing out," says Blair Jones of Sibson Consulting.
Veteran board consultant Ira Kay of Watson Wyatt agrees. "Keep in mind that what executives are asking for is quite a bit more than what compensation committees are giving. So it could have been worse."
In other words, instead of getting $50 mill, they could have gotten $200 mill. I'm impressed.
Where's CALPERS when you need it?
EDYUKAYSHUN IN TAKSACHEWSETS:
The state plans to investigate billions worth of school building construction across the state for budgets far beyond the amounts the state originally approved and extravagant spending on routine items.
Oh, you were expecting things on BUDGET in EDYUKAYSHUN?
The state plans to investigate billions worth of school building construction across the state for budgets far beyond the amounts the state originally approved and extravagant spending on routine items.
Oh, you were expecting things on BUDGET in EDYUKAYSHUN?
Oh dear oh dear, those bigoted reactionary Catholics are starting a religious order to fight -- ABORTION -- and EUTHANASIA.
There is only one answer, OMERTA: SLANT MORE!
There is only one answer, OMERTA: SLANT MORE!
A federal jury in New Orleans yesterday determined that the city's first black district attorney discriminated against dozens of white employees in January 2003 by summarily replacing them with black employees days after he took office.
A certain kind of knee-jerk liberal will NEVER find THIS type of prejudice objectionable.
A certain kind of knee-jerk liberal will NEVER find THIS type of prejudice objectionable.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Patrick Kennedy Will Not Run for Senate
Shucks, the WHOLE WORLD was rooting for you, Pat -- and I was hoping for a good laugh.
Shucks, the WHOLE WORLD was rooting for you, Pat -- and I was hoping for a good laugh.
ANOTHER ROMY HERO:
Student hits Weekly Standard's Kristol with pie during talk [Romy's hed]
UNFORTUNATELY:
Most in audience embarrassed by student's action
Naz -- REACTIONARY RIGHT-WING RED STATERS!
(I see someone from this college has briefly glanced at my blog. I don't want you folks to think I think anything bad of you for being embarrassed -- I have a way with heavy-handed irony -- but certain PUNDITS have this habit of cogitating with their KNEES, and said pie-thrower may be immortalized tomorrow by THE GLIBERAL, or JOE CON-ASON, or someone else of that extremely enlightened ILK.)
Student hits Weekly Standard's Kristol with pie during talk [Romy's hed]
UNFORTUNATELY:
Most in audience embarrassed by student's action
Naz -- REACTIONARY RIGHT-WING RED STATERS!
(I see someone from this college has briefly glanced at my blog. I don't want you folks to think I think anything bad of you for being embarrassed -- I have a way with heavy-handed irony -- but certain PUNDITS have this habit of cogitating with their KNEES, and said pie-thrower may be immortalized tomorrow by THE GLIBERAL, or JOE CON-ASON, or someone else of that extremely enlightened ILK.)
WHY IS KADIDDLEBLOG WORKING?????
We may have to create a special NEUHARTHISM category for David Lieberman. Amazing how hacks like this have marketing on the brain -- all they can do is translate any cultural property into numbers. And because they think only in numbers they make their READERS think in numbers, which means in time we don't consider a drecky cultural artifact like this for its smell, we consider it for its PROFIT MARGIN. What's more, the home-page tease uses the annoying word "BRAND."
David Lieberman, AL NEUHARTH $ALUTE$ YOU!!!!!
David Lieberman, AL NEUHARTH $ALUTE$ YOU!!!!!
"Tom tends to push things to the very outer limit," said Representative Christopher Shays, a Connecticut Republican who has often opposed Mr. DeLay. "When you push things to the outer limit, you give your detractors the opportunity to criticize you and make charges against you."
TRANSLATION: C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-count me in!
Which is worse: a LAW-SKIRTING SLEAZEBALL like SNIDELY WHIPLASH, or a PREENING CHICKEN like CHRIS SHAYS?
TRANSLATION: C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-count me in!
Which is worse: a LAW-SKIRTING SLEAZEBALL like SNIDELY WHIPLASH, or a PREENING CHICKEN like CHRIS SHAYS?
MLS Beginning New Season With New Names
Which brings up an idea: if the NHL ever gets started it should have a new name -- the National Lockout League.
If this were the NFL this would be an extra $200 billion.
Which brings up an idea: if the NHL ever gets started it should have a new name -- the National Lockout League.
If this were the NFL this would be an extra $200 billion.
EIGHTEEN HOURS. NEXT TIME, KADIDDLEBLOG, COULD WE KEEP IT DOWN A WHOLE WEEK?
I'm STILL leaving.
I'm STILL leaving.
St. Warren may have one of the feathers plucked from his pure white wings. What shall he -- and we -- do?
For starters, buy insurance from someone else.
For starters, buy insurance from someone else.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Ask not at whom the finger points -- it points at THEE.
Thanks for what it's WORTH, Wall Street JOURNALS.
Thanks for what it's WORTH, Wall Street JOURNALS.
After another lengthy blackout thanks to ELECTRICITY and CHEAP SERVERS, I'm announcing (for all three of you who pay attention) I will soon abandon this blog for a new one, to be administered by a pay blogging service. I have no choice; nowhere does the old saw "you get what you pay for" apply more than in blogging, and after two years of KADIDDLEBLOG's short circuits I have finally said ENOUGH. I'm not sure where I'll go to, but I'll say this: it'll be MILES AWAY FROM KADIDDLEBLOG and G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE.
I know this spitball-lobbing contest between the POST!!!!!!!!!! and DA NOOZ is supposed to be funny, but the humor of it's beyond me. How many papers use dubious tricks to boost their circulations? And NOOZIES, you aren't beyond suspicion yourselves -- you just staged A SWEEPSTAKES. I'd bet newspapers overstate their circulations by up to twenty percent. If we can't believe their NUMBERS why should we believe their CONTENTS?
See E. J., here is why we HATE news hacks: you say you really really really want to do good, but then you whine and pout and blame the other guy, and when people point to your faults you deny everything. In short, you and your friends in closed-mindedness (on BOTH sides) earn huge sums just to say, "I'm right and they're wrong." If that's all you hacks are capable of -- we know with you it is -- why don't you retire, or get a job with CNN, and let somebody replace you who might see enemies on BOTH sides.
And a big fat DEMERIT to the drone who wrote that misleading hed; we thought for once we might get something different. Something DIFFERENT from ST. WARREN?
And a big fat DEMERIT to the drone who wrote that misleading hed; we thought for once we might get something different. Something DIFFERENT from ST. WARREN?
Monday, March 28, 2005
Now, and I thank this blogger, we know the "secret" behind KADIDDLEBLOG'S "SUCCESS" -- CHEAP MACHINES.
@#$%*& KADIDDLEBLOG!!!!!
@#$%*& KADIDDLEBLOG!!!!!
From the Professor's site:
I know he merely acts as a platform for Blogads, but is it so wise for a law professor to be endorsing what after all is trademark infringement? This isn't an obvious parody of a trademark that one might excuse on satiric grounds, this is a flat out expropriation of someone's intellectual property. I have no brief for PepsiCo (with its PROUD MEMBERSHIP in the AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS and once-financing of HEZBOLLAH TV I've heaped it with SCORN) nor animus for the GOP, but if stealing music is a crime so is stealing a trademark. And this, sad to say, IS stealing, and what's more, stealing for PROFIT.
I know he merely acts as a platform for Blogads, but is it so wise for a law professor to be endorsing what after all is trademark infringement? This isn't an obvious parody of a trademark that one might excuse on satiric grounds, this is a flat out expropriation of someone's intellectual property. I have no brief for PepsiCo (with its PROUD MEMBERSHIP in the AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS and once-financing of HEZBOLLAH TV I've heaped it with SCORN) nor animus for the GOP, but if stealing music is a crime so is stealing a trademark. And this, sad to say, IS stealing, and what's more, stealing for PROFIT.
US Chief Justice Went to Hospital for Tube Problem
I will say nothing about this hed other than that it's rich in irony.
I will say nothing about this hed other than that it's rich in irony.
As TOENAIL.COM has for some unfathomable reason not run a piece entitled, "Will you die already?", we get Sen. McPain (D-AZ) as a "moderate." This may not be the height of ST. WARRENIAN WISDOM these folks think it is, for according to my News Hacks' Dictionary, moderate means liberal.
And as for clout, can Senators with such frumpy faces REALLY have any?
And as for clout, can Senators with such frumpy faces REALLY have any?
TONE-DEAF MICKEY D'S DOES PAYOLA!!!!!
In other news of bloated corporate bureaucracies that finance JUNK TELEVISION, JUNK SURVEY SAID --
46% OF POLL RESPONDENTS SAY GENERAL MOTORS CAN'T BE FIXED
But these are ad-agency types, and they should know. THEY HELPED BREAK IT.
In other news of bloated corporate bureaucracies that finance JUNK TELEVISION, JUNK SURVEY SAID --
46% OF POLL RESPONDENTS SAY GENERAL MOTORS CAN'T BE FIXED
But these are ad-agency types, and they should know. THEY HELPED BREAK IT.
I said I wouldn't mention WOODSTER the PERV until his next release in three months, but ArtsJournal.com also did a GOOD THING and linked to this:
In a sense, Allen's Manhattan has become a cultural prison-island, where you can check in but never leave and where the collective guilt isn't criminal behavior, it's self-absorption and haute pretentiousness. The morality is relative: Extramarital affairs and hypocrisy, for instance, are punch lines and realistic quandaries rather than sins.
This climate is as rarefied and anemic as the way these New Yorkers most likely consider Appalachian life: an inbred inflexibility to outside ideas, a feeling of insular sanctimoniousness. Allen's New Yorkers may not twang tinny guitars in the mountains, but they clamor to watch Bartok string quartets with similarly reflexive reverence. There, I've said it: Woody Allen's people have become urbane rednecks.
Would this also apply to OUTER NEW YORKS as well?
In a sense, Allen's Manhattan has become a cultural prison-island, where you can check in but never leave and where the collective guilt isn't criminal behavior, it's self-absorption and haute pretentiousness. The morality is relative: Extramarital affairs and hypocrisy, for instance, are punch lines and realistic quandaries rather than sins.
This climate is as rarefied and anemic as the way these New Yorkers most likely consider Appalachian life: an inbred inflexibility to outside ideas, a feeling of insular sanctimoniousness. Allen's New Yorkers may not twang tinny guitars in the mountains, but they clamor to watch Bartok string quartets with similarly reflexive reverence. There, I've said it: Woody Allen's people have become urbane rednecks.
Would this also apply to OUTER NEW YORKS as well?
ArtsJournal.com HAS to find us ANOTHER RICHARD "GUNS CAUSE COLUMBINES" CORLISS, and he's a soon-to-be-SocSec-eligible ROCK AD-BLURB COPYWRITER:
From the ancient Greeks up through opera, folk songs, detective novels and television, entertainment media have focused on excess, that is, behavior beyond normal standards, as a way of making a point.
Audiences get this. Rap audiences get this. If violent lyrics really had the direct impact its critics warn about, America's streets would be knee-deep in dead rap fans - just as movie theaters would have been knee-deep in corpses after "Beverly Hills Cop" and living rooms every Sunday night after "Deadwood."
So! [C]RAP is as good as "the ancient Greeks, opera, folk songs, and detective novels" at the very LEAST. And Dave, that knee-deep gag is NOT original. Just because you and your fellow hermetically-sealed adjective spewers like [C]RAP for reasons largely PC and reverse-snobbish doesn't mean I have to like it. And YES potential AARP member, I know ALL ABOUT REV, and to me he's STILL a DEMAGOGUE, but even DEMAGOGUES CAN OCCASIONALLY BE RIGHT.
From the ancient Greeks up through opera, folk songs, detective novels and television, entertainment media have focused on excess, that is, behavior beyond normal standards, as a way of making a point.
Audiences get this. Rap audiences get this. If violent lyrics really had the direct impact its critics warn about, America's streets would be knee-deep in dead rap fans - just as movie theaters would have been knee-deep in corpses after "Beverly Hills Cop" and living rooms every Sunday night after "Deadwood."
So! [C]RAP is as good as "the ancient Greeks, opera, folk songs, and detective novels" at the very LEAST. And Dave, that knee-deep gag is NOT original. Just because you and your fellow hermetically-sealed adjective spewers like [C]RAP for reasons largely PC and reverse-snobbish doesn't mean I have to like it. And YES potential AARP member, I know ALL ABOUT REV, and to me he's STILL a DEMAGOGUE, but even DEMAGOGUES CAN OCCASIONALLY BE RIGHT.
And speaking of NEWS HACKS, the former president of GE Bancorp Network News SPEAKS:
...[N]o one disagrees that Grokster is bad.
Q. What makes it so bad?
A. Their business is based on stealing....
You stand corrected. Their business is based on stealing ILLEGALLY. YOUR business is based on stealing LEGALLY.
...[N]o one disagrees that Grokster is bad.
Q. What makes it so bad?
A. Their business is based on stealing....
You stand corrected. Their business is based on stealing ILLEGALLY. YOUR business is based on stealing LEGALLY.
David "P" Shaw blows a FUSE:
BLOGGERS require no journalistic experience. All they need is computer access and the desire to blog. There are other, even important differences between bloggers and mainstream journalists, perhaps the most significant being that bloggers pride themselves on being part of an unmediated medium, giving their readers unfiltered information. And therein lies the problem.
When I or virtually any other mainstream journalist writes something, it goes through several filters before the reader sees it. At least four experienced Times editors will have examined this column, for example. They will have checked it for accuracy, fairness, grammar, taste and libel, among other things.
Which explains why every America's news organizations make untold errors and slant endless slants EVERY SINGLE DAY -- to audiences vastly larger than even KOS'S.
If I'm careless — if I am guilty of what the courts call a "reckless disregard for the truth" — The Times could be sued for libel … and could lose a lot of money.
Or we could be careless for a HIGHER TRUTH -- your boss is OMERTA -- and merely annoy our readers into canceling their subscriptions (fat chance). Besides for every libel suit are hundreds of advertisers willing to finance your rag's fearsome BIASES and PREJUDICES.
Blogging won't cure cancer. But the way it's practiced these days NEITHER WILL JERNALISM.
BLOGGERS require no journalistic experience. All they need is computer access and the desire to blog. There are other, even important differences between bloggers and mainstream journalists, perhaps the most significant being that bloggers pride themselves on being part of an unmediated medium, giving their readers unfiltered information. And therein lies the problem.
When I or virtually any other mainstream journalist writes something, it goes through several filters before the reader sees it. At least four experienced Times editors will have examined this column, for example. They will have checked it for accuracy, fairness, grammar, taste and libel, among other things.
Which explains why every America's news organizations make untold errors and slant endless slants EVERY SINGLE DAY -- to audiences vastly larger than even KOS'S.
If I'm careless — if I am guilty of what the courts call a "reckless disregard for the truth" — The Times could be sued for libel … and could lose a lot of money.
Or we could be careless for a HIGHER TRUTH -- your boss is OMERTA -- and merely annoy our readers into canceling their subscriptions (fat chance). Besides for every libel suit are hundreds of advertisers willing to finance your rag's fearsome BIASES and PREJUDICES.
Blogging won't cure cancer. But the way it's practiced these days NEITHER WILL JERNALISM.
An NRO contributor endorses a Web site for old operating systems and software programs. Why? "'To discourage the use of spyware by software companies' and to 'show the industry your dissatisfaction with these types of business practices.'"
Oooooooooooh, WALTER "SPYWARE" WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!, THEY DON'T LIKE YOU!
Oooooooooooh, WALTER "SPYWARE" WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!, THEY DON'T LIKE YOU!
SHUCKS, all that LEGENDARY selling for a LEGENDARY CEO by the LEGENDARY editor of a LEGENDARY magazine, and the LEGENDARY Amazon.com only ranks LEGENDARY WELCH'S MASTERWORK at 676?
FIRE THE WHOLE STAFF OF BLUNDER!!!!!
FIRE THE WHOLE STAFF OF BLUNDER!!!!!
Sunday, March 27, 2005
So bitter and vindictive is the family feud over whether Terri Schiavo lives or dies that her husband and parents couldn't even agree on what priest should administer last rites or what should happen to her body after death.
Why not? This has transcended the personal into cheap, sleazy politics. We ceased long ago talking about a frail human being and started talking into our belly buttons. As I've said, this is a typical story for our time -- no heroes, and one all-purpose victim.
Why not? This has transcended the personal into cheap, sleazy politics. We ceased long ago talking about a frail human being and started talking into our belly buttons. As I've said, this is a typical story for our time -- no heroes, and one all-purpose victim.
THOMAS JEFFERSON ON THE PRESS:
"The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them."
--Jefferson to Edward Carrington, 1787.
"From forty years' experience of the wretched guess-work of the newspapers of what is not done in open daylight, and of their falsehood even as to that, I rarely think them worth reading, and almost never worth notice."
--Jefferson to James Monroe, 1816.
"The only security of all is in a free press. The force of public opinion cannot be resisted when permitted freely to be expressed. The agitation it produces must be submitted to. It is necessary, to keep the waters pure."
--Jefferson to Lafayette, 1823.
"I deplore...the putrid state into which our newspapers have passed and the malignity, the vulgarity, and mendacious spirit of those who write for them... These ordures are rapidly depraving the public taste and lessening its relish for sound food. As vehicles of information and a curb on our funtionaries, they have rendered themselves useless by forfeiting all title to belief....This has, in a great degree, been produced by the violence and malignity of party spirit."
--Jefferson to Walter Jones, 1814.
"The press [is] the only tocsin of a nation. [When it] is completely silenced... all means of a general effort [are] taken away."
--Jefferson to Thomas Cooper, Nov 29, 1802.
"The man who never looks into a newspaper is better informed than he who reads them, inasmuch as he who knows nothing is nearer to truth than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods and errors. He who reads nothing will still learn the great facts, and the details are all false."
--Jefferson to John Norvell, 1807.
"To preserve the freedom of the human mind... and freedom of the press, every spirit should be ready to devote itself to martyrdom; for as long as we may think as we will and speak as we think, the condition of man will proceed in improvement."
--Jefferson to William Green Munford, 1799.
"Advertisements... contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper."
--Jefferson to Nathaniel Macon, 1819.
"Our liberty cannot be guarded but by the freedom of the press, nor that be limited without danger of losing it."
--Jefferson to John Jay, 1786.
"As for what is not true, you will always find abundance in the newspapers."
--Jefferson to Barnabas Bidwell, 1806.
We should note that most of his huzzahs to the press date from before, and most of his boos date from after, a Jefferson flack named Callender, feeling slighted, "reported" that Jeff had had relations with a slave. One of the great Jefferson's unfortunate flaws was his ability to take multiple positions on any topic, and for that reason it is surprising the NEWS HACKS don't cite him more often. With L'Affaire Hemings he'd be the perfect spokesman.
P. S. Oh well, he DID say this:
"Weighing all probabilities of expense as well as of income, there is reasonable ground of confidence that we may now safely dispense with...the postage on newspapers...to facilitate the progress of information."
--Jefferson, First Annual Message, 1801.
Hear THAT, Wall Street Journals? Hear THAT, PINCH?
(A thank you to Eyler Robert Coates Sr. for having compiled this.)
"The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them."
--Jefferson to Edward Carrington, 1787.
"From forty years' experience of the wretched guess-work of the newspapers of what is not done in open daylight, and of their falsehood even as to that, I rarely think them worth reading, and almost never worth notice."
--Jefferson to James Monroe, 1816.
"The only security of all is in a free press. The force of public opinion cannot be resisted when permitted freely to be expressed. The agitation it produces must be submitted to. It is necessary, to keep the waters pure."
--Jefferson to Lafayette, 1823.
"I deplore...the putrid state into which our newspapers have passed and the malignity, the vulgarity, and mendacious spirit of those who write for them... These ordures are rapidly depraving the public taste and lessening its relish for sound food. As vehicles of information and a curb on our funtionaries, they have rendered themselves useless by forfeiting all title to belief....This has, in a great degree, been produced by the violence and malignity of party spirit."
--Jefferson to Walter Jones, 1814.
"The press [is] the only tocsin of a nation. [When it] is completely silenced... all means of a general effort [are] taken away."
--Jefferson to Thomas Cooper, Nov 29, 1802.
"The man who never looks into a newspaper is better informed than he who reads them, inasmuch as he who knows nothing is nearer to truth than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods and errors. He who reads nothing will still learn the great facts, and the details are all false."
--Jefferson to John Norvell, 1807.
"To preserve the freedom of the human mind... and freedom of the press, every spirit should be ready to devote itself to martyrdom; for as long as we may think as we will and speak as we think, the condition of man will proceed in improvement."
--Jefferson to William Green Munford, 1799.
"Advertisements... contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper."
--Jefferson to Nathaniel Macon, 1819.
"Our liberty cannot be guarded but by the freedom of the press, nor that be limited without danger of losing it."
--Jefferson to John Jay, 1786.
"As for what is not true, you will always find abundance in the newspapers."
--Jefferson to Barnabas Bidwell, 1806.
We should note that most of his huzzahs to the press date from before, and most of his boos date from after, a Jefferson flack named Callender, feeling slighted, "reported" that Jeff had had relations with a slave. One of the great Jefferson's unfortunate flaws was his ability to take multiple positions on any topic, and for that reason it is surprising the NEWS HACKS don't cite him more often. With L'Affaire Hemings he'd be the perfect spokesman.
P. S. Oh well, he DID say this:
"Weighing all probabilities of expense as well as of income, there is reasonable ground of confidence that we may now safely dispense with...the postage on newspapers...to facilitate the progress of information."
--Jefferson, First Annual Message, 1801.
Hear THAT, Wall Street Journals? Hear THAT, PINCH?
(A thank you to Eyler Robert Coates Sr. for having compiled this.)
CODES OF ETHICS (OR, Rules WERE Made to be BROKEN):
Journalists must avoid impropriety and the appearance of impropriety as well as any conflict of interest or the appearance of conflict. They should neither accept anything nor pursue any activity that might compromise or seem to compromise their integrity.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP!!!!!
To be impartial does not require the press to be unquestioning or to refrain from editorial expression. Sound practice, however, demands a clear distinction for the reader between news reports and opinion. Articles that contain opinion or personal interpretation should be clearly identified.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP!!!!!
The newspaper should guard against inaccuracies, carelessness, bias or distortion through emphasis, omission or technological manipulation.
It should acknowledge substantive errors and correct them promptly and prominently.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP!!!!!
The newspaper should strive for impartial treatment of issues and dispassionate handling of controversial subjects. It should provide a forum for the exchange of comment and criticism, especially when such comment is opposed to its editorial positions. Editorials and expressions of personal opinion by reporters and editors should be clearly labeled. Advertising should be differentiated from news.
The newspaper should report the news without regard for its own interests, mindful of the need to disclose potential conflicts. It should not give favored news treatment to advertisers or special-interest groups.
It should report matters regarding itself or its personnel with the same vigor and candor as it would other institutions or individuals. Concern for community, business or personal interests should not cause the newspaper to distort or misrepresent the facts.
The newspaper should deal honestly with readers and newsmakers. It should keep its promises.
The newspaper should not plagiarize words or images.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP!!!!!
Professional electronic journalists should pursue truth aggressively and present the news accurately, in context, and as completely as possible.
Professional electronic journalists should:
Continuously seek the truth.
Resist distortions that obscure the importance of events.
Clearly disclose the origin of information and label all material provided by outsiders.
Professional electronic journalists should not:
Report anything known to be false.
Manipulate images or sounds in any way that is misleading.
Plagiarize.
Present images or sounds that are reenacted without informing the public.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP!!!!!
Professional electronic journalists should present the news fairly and impartially, placing primary value on significance and relevance.
Professional electronic journalists should:
Treat all subjects of news coverage with respect and dignity, showing particular compassion to victims of crime or tragedy.
Exercise special care when children are involved in a story and give children greater privacy protection than adults.
Seek to understand the diversity of their community and inform the public without bias or stereotype.
Present a diversity of expressions, opinions, and ideas in context.
Present analytical reporting based on professional perspective, not personal bias.
Respect the right to a fair trial.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP!!!!!
Professional electronic journalists should present the news with integrity and decency, avoiding real or perceived conflicts of interest, and respect the dignity and intelligence of the audience as well as the subjects of news.
Professional electronic journalists should:
Identify sources whenever possible. Confidential sources should be used only when it is clearly in the public interest to gather or convey important information or when a person providing information might be harmed. Journalists should keep all commitments to protect a confidential source.
Clearly label opinion and commentary.
Guard against extended coverage of events or individuals that fails to significantly advance a story, place the event in context, or add to the public knowledge.
Refrain from contacting participants in violent situations while the situation is in progress.
Use technological tools with skill and thoughtfulness, avoiding techniques that skew facts, distort reality, or sensationalize events.
Use surreptitious newsgathering techniques, including hidden cameras or microphones, only if there is no other way to obtain stories of significant public importance and only if the technique is explained to the audience.
Disseminate the private transmissions of other news organizations only with permission.
Professional electronic journalists should not:
Pay news sources who have a vested interest in a story.
Accept gifts, favors, or compensation from those who might seek to influence coverage.
Engage in activities that may compromise their integrity or independence.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP!!!!!
ENOUGH. But let us remember these BASE, MEANINGLESS PLATITUDES the NEXT time PINCH wants to SPIN something, or MR. MARK wants to SELL something, or the THREE STOOGES and their fellow DO's want to SPIN AND SELL something.
Journalists must avoid impropriety and the appearance of impropriety as well as any conflict of interest or the appearance of conflict. They should neither accept anything nor pursue any activity that might compromise or seem to compromise their integrity.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP!!!!!
To be impartial does not require the press to be unquestioning or to refrain from editorial expression. Sound practice, however, demands a clear distinction for the reader between news reports and opinion. Articles that contain opinion or personal interpretation should be clearly identified.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP!!!!!
The newspaper should guard against inaccuracies, carelessness, bias or distortion through emphasis, omission or technological manipulation.
It should acknowledge substantive errors and correct them promptly and prominently.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP!!!!!
The newspaper should strive for impartial treatment of issues and dispassionate handling of controversial subjects. It should provide a forum for the exchange of comment and criticism, especially when such comment is opposed to its editorial positions. Editorials and expressions of personal opinion by reporters and editors should be clearly labeled. Advertising should be differentiated from news.
The newspaper should report the news without regard for its own interests, mindful of the need to disclose potential conflicts. It should not give favored news treatment to advertisers or special-interest groups.
It should report matters regarding itself or its personnel with the same vigor and candor as it would other institutions or individuals. Concern for community, business or personal interests should not cause the newspaper to distort or misrepresent the facts.
The newspaper should deal honestly with readers and newsmakers. It should keep its promises.
The newspaper should not plagiarize words or images.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP!!!!!
Professional electronic journalists should pursue truth aggressively and present the news accurately, in context, and as completely as possible.
Professional electronic journalists should:
Continuously seek the truth.
Resist distortions that obscure the importance of events.
Clearly disclose the origin of information and label all material provided by outsiders.
Professional electronic journalists should not:
Report anything known to be false.
Manipulate images or sounds in any way that is misleading.
Plagiarize.
Present images or sounds that are reenacted without informing the public.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP!!!!!
Professional electronic journalists should present the news fairly and impartially, placing primary value on significance and relevance.
Professional electronic journalists should:
Treat all subjects of news coverage with respect and dignity, showing particular compassion to victims of crime or tragedy.
Exercise special care when children are involved in a story and give children greater privacy protection than adults.
Seek to understand the diversity of their community and inform the public without bias or stereotype.
Present a diversity of expressions, opinions, and ideas in context.
Present analytical reporting based on professional perspective, not personal bias.
Respect the right to a fair trial.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP!!!!!
Professional electronic journalists should present the news with integrity and decency, avoiding real or perceived conflicts of interest, and respect the dignity and intelligence of the audience as well as the subjects of news.
Professional electronic journalists should:
Identify sources whenever possible. Confidential sources should be used only when it is clearly in the public interest to gather or convey important information or when a person providing information might be harmed. Journalists should keep all commitments to protect a confidential source.
Clearly label opinion and commentary.
Guard against extended coverage of events or individuals that fails to significantly advance a story, place the event in context, or add to the public knowledge.
Refrain from contacting participants in violent situations while the situation is in progress.
Use technological tools with skill and thoughtfulness, avoiding techniques that skew facts, distort reality, or sensationalize events.
Use surreptitious newsgathering techniques, including hidden cameras or microphones, only if there is no other way to obtain stories of significant public importance and only if the technique is explained to the audience.
Disseminate the private transmissions of other news organizations only with permission.
Professional electronic journalists should not:
Pay news sources who have a vested interest in a story.
Accept gifts, favors, or compensation from those who might seek to influence coverage.
Engage in activities that may compromise their integrity or independence.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP!!!!!
ENOUGH. But let us remember these BASE, MEANINGLESS PLATITUDES the NEXT time PINCH wants to SPIN something, or MR. MARK wants to SELL something, or the THREE STOOGES and their fellow DO's want to SPIN AND SELL something.
I have just become aware of an irksome verbal tic I have -- "of course." Of course I will try to stop it, which means another one will burrow from the ground. There is something to be said for having three heads.
The Professor boasts of getting a hundred million cumulative hits, we makes me mad that I can only get twenty a day. (Well, that's better than five, as it was.) My only solace is that we all turn Literary Digest and Collier's and Life and Look in the end, and they got lots of "hits" too.
OMERTA's in his SAM SPADE phase, pressing furiously sniffing nose to the ground searching for CONSERVATIVE HYPOCRITES.
Of course OMERTA being SUPERHUMAN (or rather, EXTRAHUMAN) he may not realize that we all have a self-interested motive in us, and that on occasion we may all be slightly LESS than moral. But then the HACKS successfully toppled the Bible years ago, being the first race born WITHOUT SIN.
Of course OMERTA being SUPERHUMAN (or rather, EXTRAHUMAN) he may not realize that we all have a self-interested motive in us, and that on occasion we may all be slightly LESS than moral. But then the HACKS successfully toppled the Bible years ago, being the first race born WITHOUT SIN.
Remember BLUNDER's JESUIT BIOETHICIST?
OR
"Thousands of ethicists and bioethicists, as they are called, professionally guide the unthinkable on its passage through the debatable on its way to becoming the justifiable, until it is finally established as the unexceptional."
OR
"Thousands of ethicists and bioethicists, as they are called, professionally guide the unthinkable on its passage through the debatable on its way to becoming the justifiable, until it is finally established as the unexceptional."
We NEVER thought we'd have a KIND word to say about the TWXSTERS, but judging from their rag's cover, next to BLUNDER it's the height of REASON and MATURITY.
Still we can GUESS its politics, even WITHOUT a subscription. We can delude ourselves that NEWS HACKS have entered into their French royal family end time phase, serving generous quantities of CAKE, with the people as the rabble demanding revolution.
But then we all know what France got: the Reign of Terror -- and a shrimp-sized dictator who hid his hand in his coat.
Still we can GUESS its politics, even WITHOUT a subscription. We can delude ourselves that NEWS HACKS have entered into their French royal family end time phase, serving generous quantities of CAKE, with the people as the rabble demanding revolution.
But then we all know what France got: the Reign of Terror -- and a shrimp-sized dictator who hid his hand in his coat.
Thankfully MR. MARK has his finger firmly on the zeitgeist, though it be on the wrong end of his alimentary canal. And fortunately he preaches to us the upstanding ethics that have always been part of ST. WARREN OF BUFFETT'S emp -- COUNTRY STORE -- that IRAQ will always be QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!, and pro-lifers will always be HYPOCRITES. TWICE!
BLUNDER may make DEATH and TAXES into an unholy TRIUMVIRATE.
BLUNDER may make DEATH and TAXES into an unholy TRIUMVIRATE.
MR. MARK FINDS A NIXON TO REHABILITATE!
Again, the story behind the story is far more interesting, but news hacks being news hacks we'll never learn it, for it centers on their ability to take a bribe without any money passing. Still, we are heartened (ahem!) that's it's again possible to speak of LEGENDARY WELCH without shame, and we can only assume Danny Boy has bigger and better things on his mind, much like his comrade in withered arms JOHN BYRNE JR.
TRANSLATION: This is straight out of the wrong end of the BLUNDER'S alimentary canal.
Again, the story behind the story is far more interesting, but news hacks being news hacks we'll never learn it, for it centers on their ability to take a bribe without any money passing. Still, we are heartened (ahem!) that's it's again possible to speak of LEGENDARY WELCH without shame, and we can only assume Danny Boy has bigger and better things on his mind, much like his comrade in withered arms JOHN BYRNE JR.
TRANSLATION: This is straight out of the wrong end of the BLUNDER'S alimentary canal.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Barron's, the business flack sheet that is THANKFULLY "behind the wall," has come up with a Top-30 CEOs list. Leaving aside the utility of lists of anything, and especially anything that calls ST. WARREN OF BUFFETT "the conscience of business," one must first ask on seeing such a list, how many of these heroes will lose their jobs for lousy performance? How many will be indicted or convicted? It would never occur to Barron's unAbelsons that lists sow seeds of doubt.
Paul Henning, the creator of The Beverly Hillbillies, has died -- or as this obit puts it:
Henning was born on a farm in Missouri on Sept. 16, 1911 and grew up in Independence. As a teenager, he worked behind the soda fountain at Brown's Drugstore, where he met Harry Truman, who advised the young boy to become a lawyer, his daughter said.
We are tempted to say something but will merely hold our peace.
Henning was born on a farm in Missouri on Sept. 16, 1911 and grew up in Independence. As a teenager, he worked behind the soda fountain at Brown's Drugstore, where he met Harry Truman, who advised the young boy to become a lawyer, his daughter said.
We are tempted to say something but will merely hold our peace.
A federal criminal investigation has uncovered evidence that the government of Pakistan made clandestine purchases of U.S. high-technology components for use in its nuclear weapons program in defiance of American law.
--------------------------------------------------------
In a major policy shift, the United States announced Friday it would sell F-16 fighter jets to Pakistan, rewarding an ally but angering its neighbor and rival, India.
Citing their gratitude for Pakistan's help against Islamic militants, U.S. officials said they would authorize the sale of at least 24 of the fighters in a package of aircraft and maintenance services worth about $1.5 billion.
Hey CONDI! You trying out for GENERAL II?
--------------------------------------------------------
In a major policy shift, the United States announced Friday it would sell F-16 fighter jets to Pakistan, rewarding an ally but angering its neighbor and rival, India.
Citing their gratitude for Pakistan's help against Islamic militants, U.S. officials said they would authorize the sale of at least 24 of the fighters in a package of aircraft and maintenance services worth about $1.5 billion.
Hey CONDI! You trying out for GENERAL II?
Bush's delayed public reaction to the shooting stood in contrast to his swift and high-profile intervention this week to prolong the life of Terri Schiavo, a brain-damaged woman in Florida whose feeding tube was removed.
And the public's reaction to terrorist attacks stood in contrast to REUTERS calling them the work of "militants," "guerillas," "insurgents," and "another man's freedom fighters."
REPEAT AFTER ME: COMPUTER -- C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R....
And the public's reaction to terrorist attacks stood in contrast to REUTERS calling them the work of "militants," "guerillas," "insurgents," and "another man's freedom fighters."
REPEAT AFTER ME: COMPUTER -- C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R....
The Great White Way has a NEW THEME SONG:
TE-le-VI-SION, TE-le-VI-SION!
(I'm sick of it!)
TE-le-VI-SION, TE-le-VI-SION!
To be sung at maximum loudness, with a maximum of MELISMA.
(Apologies to Stan Freberg.)
TE-le-VI-SION, TE-le-VI-SION!
(I'm sick of it!)
TE-le-VI-SION, TE-le-VI-SION!
To be sung at maximum loudness, with a maximum of MELISMA.
(Apologies to Stan Freberg.)
What goes around, comes around:
Months after he endorsed Democrat John Kerry for president, the mayor of the tiny town made famous by President Bush's ranch has decided not to seek re-election.
Shucks, sometimes heroism DON'T pay.
Campbell's endorsement of Kerry attracted little attention outside Crawford, while a similar move by the local Lone Star Iconoclast made headlines around the world.
Maybe the PAPER ought to resign TOO.
Months after he endorsed Democrat John Kerry for president, the mayor of the tiny town made famous by President Bush's ranch has decided not to seek re-election.
Shucks, sometimes heroism DON'T pay.
Campbell's endorsement of Kerry attracted little attention outside Crawford, while a similar move by the local Lone Star Iconoclast made headlines around the world.
Maybe the PAPER ought to resign TOO.
LEGENDARY WELCH GETS HIS REP BACK -- ON EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE VIDEO PRESS KIT, 60 SELLING MINUTES!
"We think about me being 80 and she's 55 and, you know, will I be a bumbling idiot someday?" Welch said.
But that's what you were, LEGENDARY -- a GENIUS!
OR (NEXT line):
Some, like ex-wife Jane Beasley, might agree.
P. S. OL' LEGENDARY was interviewed by DANNO, who ALSO knows something about EXCELLENCE in REPUTATIONS.
"We think about me being 80 and she's 55 and, you know, will I be a bumbling idiot someday?" Welch said.
But that's what you were, LEGENDARY -- a GENIUS!
OR (NEXT line):
Some, like ex-wife Jane Beasley, might agree.
P. S. OL' LEGENDARY was interviewed by DANNO, who ALSO knows something about EXCELLENCE in REPUTATIONS.
ANOTHER ERROR MESSAGE FROM NEW, IMPROVED G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER:
HTTP Status 500 -
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
type Exception report
message
description The server encountered an internal error () that prevented it from fulfilling this request.
exception
javax.servlet.ServletException: Servlet execution threw an exception
at org.apache.catalina.core.ApplicationFilterChain.internalDoFilter(ApplicationFilterChain.java:269)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ApplicationFilterChain.doFilter(ApplicationFilterChain.java:193)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardWrapperValve.invoke(StandardWrapperValve.java:256)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardContextValve.invoke(StandardContextValve.java:191)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.authenticator.AuthenticatorBase.invoke(AuthenticatorBase.java:494)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardContext.invoke(StandardContext.java:2415)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardHostValve.invoke(StandardHostValve.java:180)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.valves.ErrorDispatcherValve.invoke(ErrorDispatcherValve.java:171)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.valves.ErrorReportValve.invoke(ErrorReportValve.java:172)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardEngineValve.invoke(StandardEngineValve.java:174)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.coyote.tomcat4.CoyoteAdapter.service(CoyoteAdapter.java:223)
at org.apache.jk.server.JkCoyoteHandler.invoke(JkCoyoteHandler.java:261)
at org.apache.jk.common.HandlerRequest.invoke(HandlerRequest.java:360)
at org.apache.jk.common.ChannelSocket.invoke(ChannelSocket.java:604)
at org.apache.jk.common.ChannelSocket.processConnection(ChannelSocket.java:562)
at org.apache.jk.common.SocketConnection.runIt(ChannelSocket.java:679)
at org.apache.tomcat.util.threads.ThreadPool$ControlRunnable.run(ThreadPool.java:619)
at java.lang.Thread.run(Thread.java:534)
root cause
java.lang.OutOfMemoryError: unable to create new native thread
at java.lang.Thread.start(Native Method)
at com.pyra.blogger.Blog.publishAsync(Blog.java:1938)
at com.pyra.blogger.frontend.PublishHandler.perform(PublishHandler.java:133)
at com.google.servlet.handlers.ActionHandler.execute(ActionHandler.java:27)
at com.google.servlet.handlers.AuthenticatedHandler.execute(AuthenticatedHandler.java:106)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.HandlerDispatchPipe.invoke(HandlerDispatchPipe.java:82)
at com.pyra.blogger.frontend.PyraJspDispatchPipe.invoke(PyraJspDispatchPipe.java:71)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.ServletPipe.invokeNextPipe(ServletPipe.java:118)
at com.pyra.blogger.frontend.ProfileLogPipe.invoke(ProfileLogPipe.java:48)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.ServletPipe.invokeNextPipe(ServletPipe.java:118)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.StatsPipe.invoke(StatsPipe.java:64)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.ServletPipe.invokeNextPipe(ServletPipe.java:118)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.PendingRequestPipe.invoke(PendingRequestPipe.java:31)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.ServletPipe.invokeNextPipe(ServletPipe.java:118)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.HttpRedirectPipe.invoke(HttpRedirectPipe.java:43)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.ServletPipe.invokeNextPipe(ServletPipe.java:118)
at com.pyra.blogger.frontend.IdentityCookiePipe.invoke(IdentityCookiePipe.java:137)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.ServletPipe.invokeNextPipe(ServletPipe.java:118)
at com.google.servlet.exceptionhandling.ExceptionHandlerPipe.invoke(ExceptionHandlerPipe.java:99)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.ServletPipe.invokeNextPipe(ServletPipe.java:118)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.LocaleContextPipe.invoke(LocaleContextPipe.java:116)
at com.google.servlet.BaseServlet.doGet(BaseServlet.java:89)
at javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:740)
at javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:853)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ApplicationFilterChain.internalDoFilter(ApplicationFilterChain.java:247)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ApplicationFilterChain.doFilter(ApplicationFilterChain.java:193)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardWrapperValve.invoke(StandardWrapperValve.java:256)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardContextValve.invoke(StandardContextValve.java:191)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.authenticator.AuthenticatorBase.invoke(AuthenticatorBase.java:494)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardContext.invoke(StandardContext.java:2415)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardHostValve.invoke(StandardHostValve.java:180)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.valves.ErrorDispatcherValve.invoke(ErrorDispatcherValve.java:171)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.valves.ErrorReportValve.invoke(ErrorReportValve.java:172)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardEngineValve.invoke(StandardEngineValve.java:174)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.coyote.tomcat4.CoyoteAdapter.service(CoyoteAdapter.java:223)
at org.apache.jk.server.JkCoyoteHandler.invoke(JkCoyoteHandler.java:261)
at org.apache.jk.common.HandlerRequest.invoke(HandlerRequest.java:360)
at org.apache.jk.common.ChannelSocket.invoke(ChannelSocket.java:604)
at org.apache.jk.common.ChannelSocket.processConnection(ChannelSocket.java:562)
at org.apache.jk.common.SocketConnection.runIt(ChannelSocket.java:679)
at org.apache.tomcat.util.threads.ThreadPool$ControlRunnable.run(ThreadPool.java:619)
at java.lang.Thread.run(Thread.java:534)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apache Tomcat/4.1.24
AND NOT THE FIRST TIME.
WE'RE TIRED OF YOUR INTERNAL SERVER ERRORS, CLEM KADIDDLEHOPPERS.
HTTP Status 500 -
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
type Exception report
message
description The server encountered an internal error () that prevented it from fulfilling this request.
exception
javax.servlet.ServletException: Servlet execution threw an exception
at org.apache.catalina.core.ApplicationFilterChain.internalDoFilter(ApplicationFilterChain.java:269)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ApplicationFilterChain.doFilter(ApplicationFilterChain.java:193)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardWrapperValve.invoke(StandardWrapperValve.java:256)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardContextValve.invoke(StandardContextValve.java:191)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.authenticator.AuthenticatorBase.invoke(AuthenticatorBase.java:494)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardContext.invoke(StandardContext.java:2415)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardHostValve.invoke(StandardHostValve.java:180)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.valves.ErrorDispatcherValve.invoke(ErrorDispatcherValve.java:171)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.valves.ErrorReportValve.invoke(ErrorReportValve.java:172)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardEngineValve.invoke(StandardEngineValve.java:174)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.coyote.tomcat4.CoyoteAdapter.service(CoyoteAdapter.java:223)
at org.apache.jk.server.JkCoyoteHandler.invoke(JkCoyoteHandler.java:261)
at org.apache.jk.common.HandlerRequest.invoke(HandlerRequest.java:360)
at org.apache.jk.common.ChannelSocket.invoke(ChannelSocket.java:604)
at org.apache.jk.common.ChannelSocket.processConnection(ChannelSocket.java:562)
at org.apache.jk.common.SocketConnection.runIt(ChannelSocket.java:679)
at org.apache.tomcat.util.threads.ThreadPool$ControlRunnable.run(ThreadPool.java:619)
at java.lang.Thread.run(Thread.java:534)
root cause
java.lang.OutOfMemoryError: unable to create new native thread
at java.lang.Thread.start(Native Method)
at com.pyra.blogger.Blog.publishAsync(Blog.java:1938)
at com.pyra.blogger.frontend.PublishHandler.perform(PublishHandler.java:133)
at com.google.servlet.handlers.ActionHandler.execute(ActionHandler.java:27)
at com.google.servlet.handlers.AuthenticatedHandler.execute(AuthenticatedHandler.java:106)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.HandlerDispatchPipe.invoke(HandlerDispatchPipe.java:82)
at com.pyra.blogger.frontend.PyraJspDispatchPipe.invoke(PyraJspDispatchPipe.java:71)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.ServletPipe.invokeNextPipe(ServletPipe.java:118)
at com.pyra.blogger.frontend.ProfileLogPipe.invoke(ProfileLogPipe.java:48)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.ServletPipe.invokeNextPipe(ServletPipe.java:118)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.StatsPipe.invoke(StatsPipe.java:64)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.ServletPipe.invokeNextPipe(ServletPipe.java:118)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.PendingRequestPipe.invoke(PendingRequestPipe.java:31)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.ServletPipe.invokeNextPipe(ServletPipe.java:118)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.HttpRedirectPipe.invoke(HttpRedirectPipe.java:43)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.ServletPipe.invokeNextPipe(ServletPipe.java:118)
at com.pyra.blogger.frontend.IdentityCookiePipe.invoke(IdentityCookiePipe.java:137)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.ServletPipe.invokeNextPipe(ServletPipe.java:118)
at com.google.servlet.exceptionhandling.ExceptionHandlerPipe.invoke(ExceptionHandlerPipe.java:99)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.ServletPipe.invokeNextPipe(ServletPipe.java:118)
at com.google.servlet.pipe.LocaleContextPipe.invoke(LocaleContextPipe.java:116)
at com.google.servlet.BaseServlet.doGet(BaseServlet.java:89)
at javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:740)
at javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:853)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ApplicationFilterChain.internalDoFilter(ApplicationFilterChain.java:247)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ApplicationFilterChain.doFilter(ApplicationFilterChain.java:193)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardWrapperValve.invoke(StandardWrapperValve.java:256)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardContextValve.invoke(StandardContextValve.java:191)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.authenticator.AuthenticatorBase.invoke(AuthenticatorBase.java:494)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardContext.invoke(StandardContext.java:2415)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardHostValve.invoke(StandardHostValve.java:180)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.valves.ErrorDispatcherValve.invoke(ErrorDispatcherValve.java:171)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.valves.ErrorReportValve.invoke(ErrorReportValve.java:172)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardEngineValve.invoke(StandardEngineValve.java:174)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.coyote.tomcat4.CoyoteAdapter.service(CoyoteAdapter.java:223)
at org.apache.jk.server.JkCoyoteHandler.invoke(JkCoyoteHandler.java:261)
at org.apache.jk.common.HandlerRequest.invoke(HandlerRequest.java:360)
at org.apache.jk.common.ChannelSocket.invoke(ChannelSocket.java:604)
at org.apache.jk.common.ChannelSocket.processConnection(ChannelSocket.java:562)
at org.apache.jk.common.SocketConnection.runIt(ChannelSocket.java:679)
at org.apache.tomcat.util.threads.ThreadPool$ControlRunnable.run(ThreadPool.java:619)
at java.lang.Thread.run(Thread.java:534)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apache Tomcat/4.1.24
AND NOT THE FIRST TIME.
WE'RE TIRED OF YOUR INTERNAL SERVER ERRORS, CLEM KADIDDLEHOPPERS.
More playing with words like a baby playing with its food -- from THE REUT, natch:
Many Germans Want Berlin Wall Back, Study Finds
Survey SAID:
Nearly a quarter of western Germans and 12 percent of easterners want the Berlin Wall back -- more than 15 years after the fall of the barrier that split Germany during the Cold War, according to a new survey.
The results of the poll, published Saturday, reflected die-hard animosities over high reunification costs lowering western standards of living and economic turmoil in the east.
I suspect some people would like their respective security blankets back. For decades Southerners wanted slavery back. Lately Russians have wanted Stalin back. More than a few Germans may want Hitler back. What do such Family Feud-style surveys prove except that people like security blankets?
Many Germans Want Berlin Wall Back, Study Finds
Survey SAID:
Nearly a quarter of western Germans and 12 percent of easterners want the Berlin Wall back -- more than 15 years after the fall of the barrier that split Germany during the Cold War, according to a new survey.
The results of the poll, published Saturday, reflected die-hard animosities over high reunification costs lowering western standards of living and economic turmoil in the east.
I suspect some people would like their respective security blankets back. For decades Southerners wanted slavery back. Lately Russians have wanted Stalin back. More than a few Germans may want Hitler back. What do such Family Feud-style surveys prove except that people like security blankets?
MORE TRUTH AND BEAUTY FROM ST. WARREN:
A week after their unprecedented intervention in the Terri Schiavo case, Republican congressional leaders find themselves in a moral and political thicket, having advanced the cause as a right-to-life issue -- only to confront polls showing that the public does not see it that way.
"How deep is this Congress going to reach into the personal lives of each and every one of us?" asked Rep. Christopher Shays (Conn.), one of only five Republicans in the House to vote against the Schiavo bill.
This is a declaration of war on the reader. The HACKS are willing to declare their bias in the first two paragraphs. There is no need to read further, as there often isn't. This is also proof that NEWS HACKS can do what they please, THE CIRCULATION BE DAMNED -- although I suspect there may be a few MILD oaths at THE HOLY CHURCH in Omaha, Nebraska. But JUST mild. Truth is ALWAYS mightier than the CIRCULATION.
Repeat after me, Shailagh and Mike. COMPUTER. C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R. INTERNET. I-N-T-E-R-N-E-T.
A week after their unprecedented intervention in the Terri Schiavo case, Republican congressional leaders find themselves in a moral and political thicket, having advanced the cause as a right-to-life issue -- only to confront polls showing that the public does not see it that way.
"How deep is this Congress going to reach into the personal lives of each and every one of us?" asked Rep. Christopher Shays (Conn.), one of only five Republicans in the House to vote against the Schiavo bill.
This is a declaration of war on the reader. The HACKS are willing to declare their bias in the first two paragraphs. There is no need to read further, as there often isn't. This is also proof that NEWS HACKS can do what they please, THE CIRCULATION BE DAMNED -- although I suspect there may be a few MILD oaths at THE HOLY CHURCH in Omaha, Nebraska. But JUST mild. Truth is ALWAYS mightier than the CIRCULATION.
Repeat after me, Shailagh and Mike. COMPUTER. C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R. INTERNET. I-N-T-E-R-N-E-T.
Kennedy, Chafee Could Face Off in R.I.
One could be uncharitable and say, Tweedledum vs. Tweedledee. Of course one could be a SIX-DIGIT TYPIST in a LUXURY NEWS SUITE and pine, if only ALL elections were like THIS.
We may have to add REVERED to the NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY.
One could be uncharitable and say, Tweedledum vs. Tweedledee. Of course one could be a SIX-DIGIT TYPIST in a LUXURY NEWS SUITE and pine, if only ALL elections were like THIS.
We may have to add REVERED to the NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY.
Friday, March 25, 2005
The SENIOR CLUNKER BROTHER hinted it might ditch a brand -- and now it says it won't.
This will happen when you drop product quality like a lead weight, then fight a frantic rear-guard action to promote it, then spend zillions of dollars on rebates to inflate your sales because people don't trust your quality, and zillions of dollars in CRAPPY TELEVISION to convince people no you're not putting out junky cars and you're not using rebates to promote the notion that you're building junky cars.
What's good for GM....
This will happen when you drop product quality like a lead weight, then fight a frantic rear-guard action to promote it, then spend zillions of dollars on rebates to inflate your sales because people don't trust your quality, and zillions of dollars in CRAPPY TELEVISION to convince people no you're not putting out junky cars and you're not using rebates to promote the notion that you're building junky cars.
What's good for GM....
Remember the syringe needles in the Pepsi-Cola cans?
Sales have dropped sharply at Wendy's fast food restaurants in the area of northern California where a woman claimed she found part of a finger in a bowl of chili, but analysts say....
God there's nothing NEWS HACKS like better than creating a PANIC!
Sales have dropped sharply at Wendy's fast food restaurants in the area of northern California where a woman claimed she found part of a finger in a bowl of chili, but analysts say....
God there's nothing NEWS HACKS like better than creating a PANIC!
Hey "Jonathan Pollard [wasn't he a SPY?], Bernie Kukoff, CHEAP CHANNEL ENTERTAINMENT, Harbor Entertainment, ESPNCorp Arthouse Films, Bob and Harvey WHINER, Stanley Buchthal, Eric Falkenstein, Nina Essman/Nancy Nagel Gibbs, Jean Cheever and Margaret Cotter, in association with Barney Rosenzweig, Meri Krassner, FGRW Investments, and Karen Jason and Phil Ciasullo Conard"! I have two BRILLIANT ideas for "Broadway musicals"! The first is CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC: THE VILLAGE PEOPLE MUSICAL! What could be a better idea than a live remake of a film musical many agree is one of the worst of all time -- but hey, you can play it up as CAMP, and then there's the -- GAY angle, and you could have a chorus line of SAILORS, and with everybody clapping their hands above their heads this is a SURE-FIRE SMASH! I say GO FOR IT! YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY-M-C-A!
The second is BAND ON THE RUN: THE PAUL McCARTNEY AND WINGS MUSICAL! As those who've been in a supermarket lately know the poet laureate of rock wrote more KEE-YUTE songs in the mid-seventies than just about anyone, all with irritating hooks and self-parodying effects that have made them a favorite of retailers who LOVE to SMIRK. Combine that with a "storyline" out of THE MONTY PYTHON HIGH-SCHOOL REVUE -- maybe about all those people "knockin' at the doh-oh," can't you hear the LAUGHS when MARTIN LUTHER comes in STONED? -- and you have another SMASH, a SMASH that'll leave 'em SINGING ALONG when they're not ROLLING IN THE AISLES!
And if THOSE don't work out -- well, why not a musical based on PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE?
Think we can meet sometime?
(Sorry Jerry and Ockie, sorry Dick and Larry, didn't mean to make you roll over in your graves.)
The second is BAND ON THE RUN: THE PAUL McCARTNEY AND WINGS MUSICAL! As those who've been in a supermarket lately know the poet laureate of rock wrote more KEE-YUTE songs in the mid-seventies than just about anyone, all with irritating hooks and self-parodying effects that have made them a favorite of retailers who LOVE to SMIRK. Combine that with a "storyline" out of THE MONTY PYTHON HIGH-SCHOOL REVUE -- maybe about all those people "knockin' at the doh-oh," can't you hear the LAUGHS when MARTIN LUTHER comes in STONED? -- and you have another SMASH, a SMASH that'll leave 'em SINGING ALONG when they're not ROLLING IN THE AISLES!
And if THOSE don't work out -- well, why not a musical based on PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE?
Think we can meet sometime?
(Sorry Jerry and Ockie, sorry Dick and Larry, didn't mean to make you roll over in your graves.)
This nation of fewer than 300,000 people is a staunch U.S. ally, but there is a strong undercurrent of public anger at the government's support for the U.S.-led Iraq war, which was opposed by four fifths of Icelanders.
TRANSLATION: BAD EQUALS GOOD!
TRANSLATION: BAD EQUALS GOOD!
I know LILEKS is capable of good stuff, very good stuff, so why does his site increasingly resemble The Family Circus?
Daddy needs a vacation.
Daddy needs a vacation.
SHUCKS, a NOBLE serviceman who NOBLY refused to fight in the UNJUST WAR in IRAQ has IGNOBLY been denied asylum in CANADA.
But -- there's a "GROWING TRICKLE" of such NOBLE servicemen, which, in good course, could become an even...GREATER trickle!
Hey LENNY! Why wasn't this on A-1?
But -- there's a "GROWING TRICKLE" of such NOBLE servicemen, which, in good course, could become an even...GREATER trickle!
Hey LENNY! Why wasn't this on A-1?
The teen who shot five fellow students to death at his high school had watched a movie about a school shooting with friends earlier this month -- skipping ahead to some of the most violent scenes, a friend said on Friday.
Richard COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISS!!!!!
Grant said he himself was taking 20 milligrams a day of Zoloft, another antidepressant, and the boys talked in detail about their medication. He said Weise told him he was taking 40 milligrams a day of Prozac: 20 in the morning, 20 at night.
"Everybody changes when they start taking antidepressants," Grant said. "He was a lot more quiet. I wouldn't say any better."
LAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWYERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!!!!!!!!!!
Richard COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISS!!!!!
Grant said he himself was taking 20 milligrams a day of Zoloft, another antidepressant, and the boys talked in detail about their medication. He said Weise told him he was taking 40 milligrams a day of Prozac: 20 in the morning, 20 at night.
"Everybody changes when they start taking antidepressants," Grant said. "He was a lot more quiet. I wouldn't say any better."
LAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWYERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!!!!!!!!!!
Racially Charged Incidents Rattle L.A.
Ooooooooooh, does that mean we HACKS can start a RIOT now?
Law enforcement authorities say it's unfair to characterize the region of more than 3 million people in Riverside and San Bernardino counties as a racist bastion. But....
BIAS? WHAT BIAS?
Ooooooooooh, does that mean we HACKS can start a RIOT now?
Law enforcement authorities say it's unfair to characterize the region of more than 3 million people in Riverside and San Bernardino counties as a racist bastion. But....
BIAS? WHAT BIAS?
SERRPRYZE:
NEW YORK (AP) -- City officials recalled preparation material for math tests that had been sent to teachers after discovering they were filled with math and spelling mistakes.
NEW YORK (AP) -- City officials recalled preparation material for math tests that had been sent to teachers after discovering they were filled with math and spelling mistakes.
Forbes invents an INSTANT CLICHE: that show-biz is being taken over by SUITS. What's been running it these last fifty years? SUITS were the reason we went from THE GREATEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME in the SEVENTIES to DRECK. (So the moron PETER BISKIND says.) Truth is entertainment has always been run by chameleons; just the outer skin has changed.
The staff announcer, like the elevator operator, is a relic. Technology made both obsolete, but with the staff announcer accreted those sinister notions held only of BROADCASTERS: that BROADCASTERS, for all their excessive exposure, must be ANONYMOUS, and further (and here they were aided by the proud members of THE AMERICAN SOCIETY of WILFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS) they must all sound alike -- no accents, no quirks, nothing. THIS is the TRIUMPH of CHEAP CHANNEL, of 10,000 radio stations and 2,000 TV stations sounding EXACTLY alike. Here is a small but significant reason we hold BROADCASTERS on a level below CREMATORIUM OWNERS.
Little Jeffrey reading this would say, "Good! One less expense."
Little Jeffrey reading this would say, "Good! One less expense."
Neither the pot seller nor the tantrum thrower were enough.
You think there's a moral here? IN VITALEDOM? Never.
You think there's a moral here? IN VITALEDOM? Never.
This story has been around for several days and now we're using it against the military?
OR:
"Tora Bora was teeming with Taliban and Qaeda operatives ... but Mr. bin Laden was never within our grasp," wrote Franks, who retired in 2003 and backed Bush in the election.
BIAS? WHAT BIAS?
OR:
"Tora Bora was teeming with Taliban and Qaeda operatives ... but Mr. bin Laden was never within our grasp," wrote Franks, who retired in 2003 and backed Bush in the election.
BIAS? WHAT BIAS?
Thursday, March 24, 2005
We're all for second chances, but after many years reading SPORTS HACKS we've come to know their second chance means
$.
OR:
At Texas A&M, he noticed white squares of paper in the student section.
"At first I thought they said something like, 'Beat Oklahoma State,'" Curry said. "It was a picture of me, like 'Wanted by the Oklahoma Police Department.'"
We can forgive, but we must realize some other may not be able to forgive, especially with athlete-students selling POT, and we must further realize this IS VITALEDOM, where the only thing that matters is
$.
$.
OR:
At Texas A&M, he noticed white squares of paper in the student section.
"At first I thought they said something like, 'Beat Oklahoma State,'" Curry said. "It was a picture of me, like 'Wanted by the Oklahoma Police Department.'"
We can forgive, but we must realize some other may not be able to forgive, especially with athlete-students selling POT, and we must further realize this IS VITALEDOM, where the only thing that matters is
$.
THE REUT DOES IT AGAIN: it's PROUD of a GRAFFITI...ARTISTE who smuggled "ART" into four museums -- and it took months for the nose-in-the-airs to notice. Of course one reason THE REUT's so PROUD of this stunt is the "ART." The PC politics aside (that didn't have anything to do with our reporting this, RIGHT REUT? NOOOOOOOOO.), we may liken this to Daffy Duck drawing moustaches on posters -- and he did it better.
GEEKS:
Uber-Review writes "If you ever aspired to be the next Jerry Seinfeld instead of the next American Idol. Maybe the product featured by Wired is just right for you. Joke-e-oke, basically a karaoke with stand-up comedy material. Joke-e-oke is a laptop rigged to a video projector allows you to choose from a list of stand-up comedy icons to perform. A built in laugh track is added, timed perfectly to accent punch lines. Obstacles are programmed in so participants onstage get a taste of what real comedians go through by firing off heckle lines for the bar crowd to yell in unison at the Joke-e-oke participant."
GET A LIFE!!!!!
Uber-Review writes "If you ever aspired to be the next Jerry Seinfeld instead of the next American Idol. Maybe the product featured by Wired is just right for you. Joke-e-oke, basically a karaoke with stand-up comedy material. Joke-e-oke is a laptop rigged to a video projector allows you to choose from a list of stand-up comedy icons to perform. A built in laugh track is added, timed perfectly to accent punch lines. Obstacles are programmed in so participants onstage get a taste of what real comedians go through by firing off heckle lines for the bar crowd to yell in unison at the Joke-e-oke participant."
GET A LIFE!!!!!
The rotten-egg smell from the refineries, the chemical haze, the constant hiss that sounds like an idling jet plane, the explosions and fires -- they are part of life in Texas City.
You make Philadelphia sound good.
You make Philadelphia sound good.
THE CORE TENET OF RENDELLISM: Have WHOLE central neighborhoods dominated by YOUNG UPSCALE PROFESSIONALS, and to HELL WITH THE KIDS.
And to hell with the GHETTOES too, another tenet of RENDELLISM.
And to hell with the GHETTOES too, another tenet of RENDELLISM.
"Random violence, a suicidal mass-murderer, and people who blame the media afterwards. Yep. must be the 21st Century. God bless America."
I will not link the PSYCHO to Richard "GUNS CAUSED COLUMBINE" Corliss or THE GLIBERAL, yet judging from this writhing-in-Hell shootist's remarks the resemblances of thought are not entirely coincidental.
I will not link the PSYCHO to Richard "GUNS CAUSED COLUMBINE" Corliss or THE GLIBERAL, yet judging from this writhing-in-Hell shootist's remarks the resemblances of thought are not entirely coincidental.
A CERTAIN CLASSIC:
A charismatic stranger brings music into a drab town and people's lives are changed forever in a Broadway musical that might have been called The Music Man had that title not already been taken and if the songs weren't ones made famous by Elvis Presley.
A charismatic stranger brings music into a drab town and people's lives are changed forever in a Broadway musical that might have been called The Music Man had that title not already been taken and if the songs weren't ones made famous by Elvis Presley.
Poll: Evangelicals Oppose Gov't on Schiavo
Schiavo Case Highlights Catholic-Evangelical Alliance
Who says NEWS HACKS can't have it both ways?
Schiavo Case Highlights Catholic-Evangelical Alliance
Who says NEWS HACKS can't have it both ways?
A juxtaposition from IWantMedia.com:
Millions Keep Downloading Free Music
Radio Giant Attuned to Web for Ads Boost
Is there a DISCONNECT here?
Millions Keep Downloading Free Music
Radio Giant Attuned to Web for Ads Boost
Is there a DISCONNECT here?
EDDIE DOES IT AGAIN!
PA Governor Rendell Announces Funding to Rejuvenate Philadelphia Neighborhoods
If his talk were money our city would be paved with gold -- and then we wouldn't need GAMING.
PA Governor Rendell Announces Funding to Rejuvenate Philadelphia Neighborhoods
If his talk were money our city would be paved with gold -- and then we wouldn't need GAMING.
Let's see how long it takes before the Grand Street Person of Chess complains about the WEATHER.
OR:
"THE UNITED STATES IS AN ILLEGITIMATE COUNTRY ... JUST LIKE THE BANDIT STATE OF ISRAEL - THE JEWS HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE THERE, IT BELONGS TO THE PALESTINIANS!!!!!" said Fischer, whose mother was Jewish. "THAT COUNTRY, THE UNITED STATES, BELONGS TO THE RED MAN, THE AMERICAN INDIAN....IT'S ACTUALLY A SHAME TO BE A SO-CALLED AMERICAN BECAUSE EVERYBODY LIVING THERE IS ... AN INVADER!!!!!"
We'll cut the Grand Street Person of Chess a break; he should know something about invaders -- being a space alien.
But we won't cut the ICELANDERS a break; their IQs may not be much higher than the temperature.
The WAPOST grasps at the TRUTH:
Shooter Described As Deeply Disturbed
This looks like a hed for Woodstein!
Shooter Described As Deeply Disturbed
This looks like a hed for Woodstein!
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Today the Sun-Times says the weather in the Windy City is 39 degrees and "UNENDING."
Who writes these squibs? Someone from the TRIB?
Who writes these squibs? Someone from the TRIB?
NEXT UP on the news hacks' agenda to create an environmental crisis: SOOT.
Somehow though it doesn't sound as sexy as carbon dioxide.
Somehow though it doesn't sound as sexy as carbon dioxide.
OOOOOoooooh, now the SCOTTISH franchise of the British Vicarage and Tea-Time Club declares it doesn't just serve its brew -- STRAIGHT!
Before long we'll have 500 Tea-Time Clubs!
Before long we'll have 500 Tea-Time Clubs!
The state official who offered a job to a man convicted in absentia in the murder of an American wildlife researcher in Africa has resigned.
Does the man who got the job file a lawsuit?
Does the man who got the job file a lawsuit?
Oh dear oh dear, we've been killing too many Iraqi insurgents. What shall we do?
Whine and pout and look for a few anonymous sources who'll insist we've got fresh QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whine and pout and look for a few anonymous sources who'll insist we've got fresh QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL AND GM SIGN SPONSORSHIP DEAL
TRANSLATION: They're buying those annoying SELIG SIGNS behind home plate -- AND they get LUXURY BOXES ON STERRRRRRRRRRR...!
TRANSLATION: They're buying those annoying SELIG SIGNS behind home plate -- AND they get LUXURY BOXES ON STERRRRRRRRRRR...!
In a nod to the first-person form of journalism he popularized, Hunter S. Thompson's will calls for all his property to flow into "The Gonzo Trust" to be managed by three people the writer knew for years....
Trustees are attorneys Hal Haddon of Denver and George Tobia of Boston, and historian Douglas Brinkley of New Orleans.
Shucks, it isn't Uncle Duke and two drug dealers.
Trustees are attorneys Hal Haddon of Denver and George Tobia of Boston, and historian Douglas Brinkley of New Orleans.
Shucks, it isn't Uncle Duke and two drug dealers.
STERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNO:
"I'm a fan of zombie films, have been for years, as well as fan of horror movies in general. I like to write horror stories, read about Nazi Germany and history, and someday plan on moving out of the US."
The kid also liked metal. There's plenty of the MOLTEN stuff where HE is.
"I'm a fan of zombie films, have been for years, as well as fan of horror movies in general. I like to write horror stories, read about Nazi Germany and history, and someday plan on moving out of the US."
The kid also liked metal. There's plenty of the MOLTEN stuff where HE is.
More courage from The Cute Little Pink Paper:
As of March 15, Harvard’s Faculty of Arts and Sciences officially lacked confidence in president Lawrence H. Summers. Fortunately or unfortunately for Mr. Summers, the president has ample private reserves.
You'd think a cute little pink paper that put Mademoiselle Sex-on-the-Brain in the spotlight and curse words on its front page would stand for more then "fortunately or unfortunately."
As of March 15, Harvard’s Faculty of Arts and Sciences officially lacked confidence in president Lawrence H. Summers. Fortunately or unfortunately for Mr. Summers, the president has ample private reserves.
You'd think a cute little pink paper that put Mademoiselle Sex-on-the-Brain in the spotlight and curse words on its front page would stand for more then "fortunately or unfortunately."
In other personnel news in the Mafia that is show-biz:
TV Chief at Fox Going to Paramount
No slighting anyone, but as THE MASTER would say, she won't find any difference in the climate.
TV Chief at Fox Going to Paramount
No slighting anyone, but as THE MASTER would say, she won't find any difference in the climate.
The once-future governor of South Dakota engages in the kind of kinky behavior that would only get him promotions and raises at his former employer VIACON and should serve him well at his present one GOODTHINGS ENTERTAINMENT.
Of course GOODTHINGS ENTERTAINMENT doesn't talk on personnel matters, not when we may give a big raise to somebody who'd be fired anywhere else in LITTLE JEFFREY'S KINGDOM, and especially a self-admitted ALCOHOLIC.
Of course GOODTHINGS ENTERTAINMENT doesn't talk on personnel matters, not when we may give a big raise to somebody who'd be fired anywhere else in LITTLE JEFFREY'S KINGDOM, and especially a self-admitted ALCOHOLIC.
Liberalism, American-style, is dying on the vine.
We may point out that the Roman Empire lasted for a good many decades longer than the rot should have permitted it. We may also point out that cockroaches have survived for millions of years despite no useful purpose.
We may point out that the Roman Empire lasted for a good many decades longer than the rot should have permitted it. We may also point out that cockroaches have survived for millions of years despite no useful purpose.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
A FREEPER COGITATES:
Always look for the union label...then buy something without it.
Unfortunately, ANOTHER FREEPER COGITATED:
You prefer "MADE IN CHINA"?
Always look for the union label...then buy something without it.
Unfortunately, ANOTHER FREEPER COGITATED:
You prefer "MADE IN CHINA"?
A terror suspect held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, was a commander for Osama bin Laden during the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan in the 1980s and helped the al-Qaida leader escape his mountain hide-out at Tora Bora in 2001, according to a U.S. government document.
Hmmmmmmmm, maybe we aren't holding just low-level drones in GITMO after all.
Hmmmmmmmm, maybe we aren't holding just low-level drones in GITMO after all.
And in other news of book bur -- PUBLISHING excellence, another Mary -- Matalin -- will "run" a VIACON (for now) imprint, meaning at the moment SUMNER may be more conservative than RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HERR DOKTOR SONDHEIM'S SEVENTY-FIFTH, another of those artificial stories made to sell things, is not a cause of celebration, but one of contemplation, and scorn, as we see the vast empty hole where a lively musical theater was, and as the DOKTOR, with his obsessions and pretensions, helped to excavate it. We forget that this genius was a pupil of Oscar Hammerstein II, and he carried Hammerstein's earnestness to its logical bitter end, and where Hammerstein spoke to all people for all time with songs like "Ol' Man River," the DOKTOR's musicals, with their cutesy artsy angles ("A musical about POINTILLISM?!?", as David Denby quoted a theatergoer in one of his few lucid moments) and death-fixation, predictably became cult favorites for a trendy and marginal elite. It is no wonder John Simon (who must take a little responsibility himself as a fan of HERR DOKTOR) mourned as he did after watching THE HIGH-SCHOOL REVUE. Is a culture without a musical theater a culture worth defending?
This should warm the cockles of the hearts of all those who think these things solely random, the mischievous work of a bad fairy: our shootist wore a bulletproof vest. Methinks we've gone beyond the depraved-on-accounta-they're-deprived angle with this one.
And a police holster. Psycho doesn't do this new-minted resident of Hell justice.
P. S. I had to check in on STERNO to see if he's had something to say on this story -- an act I try doing as seldom as possible now, as his blog has become an unsavory stew of self-righteousness and table-pounding. Fortunately he hasn't. We all know what he would synergize if he could.
And a police holster. Psycho doesn't do this new-minted resident of Hell justice.
P. S. I had to check in on STERNO to see if he's had something to say on this story -- an act I try doing as seldom as possible now, as his blog has become an unsavory stew of self-righteousness and table-pounding. Fortunately he hasn't. We all know what he would synergize if he could.
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:
LISBON, Conn. (AP) -- A state trooper was suspended for 15 days without pay after he was recorded on a 911 tape saying "too bad" to a caller seeking help for a man injured in a motorcycle accident.
LISBON, Conn. (AP) -- A state trooper was suspended for 15 days without pay after he was recorded on a 911 tape saying "too bad" to a caller seeking help for a man injured in a motorcycle accident.
This has to be one of the dumbest corporate logos there is. Can you imagine anything less environmentally friendly than a gasoline company? Or ExxonMobilChevronTexaco using a flower symbol? But one guesses its prime purpose is not to serve as a corporate logo but to communicate a PC ethos, like most good businesses. I happened to ponder this today from my local MICKEY D'S, another PC paragon.
Even if we STERNO this as not a "root cause," Hitler is still capable of death and destruction sixty years after the bunker.
Black Coaches in N.B.A. Have Shorter Tenures
PINCH! This may be your GREATEST J'ACCUSE since -- AUGUSTA!
PINCH! This may be your GREATEST J'ACCUSE since -- AUGUSTA!
Note to media, showbiz: The status quo is history
That's okay; they'll just come up with a new status quo.
That's okay; they'll just come up with a new status quo.
The farce resumes in the FEDERAL courts.
Didn't the CONGRESSPOOPS realize Federal judges know everything too?
Didn't the CONGRESSPOOPS realize Federal judges know everything too?
I'm leaving that "TEST" up for a post dated last night (I posted it today) to reconstruct YET AGAIN one of three posts that vanished thanks to CLEM'S HAM-FISTEDNESS. The best I can do is reconstruct the post as I wrote it, and I'm not even sure it ever did post. I will be doubly wary with CLEM from now on -- and shortly I will switch to another blogging provider.
Why WOODSTER the PERV is knock-down-drag-out-man-the-lifeboats-and-call-the-plumber FUN-NY:
The closest the film gets to making [a joke] is when Hobie is moved by his luck in going home with the nymphomaniac to direct his eyes heavenwards and mutter: "I'll never vote against school prayer again." Though nearer the mark than most of the film's attempts at humor, even this is slightly off target. No one will ever again vote against school prayer -- or for it either -- since no one is given the chance to vote on what some judge has decided is unconstitutional.
If this incompetent gag made it here, and how many likewise incompetent gags have made into the MASTER's other works of art? As THE HIGH-SCHOOL REVUE proves, comedy is NOT funny.
This will be the last I mention the WOODSTER for three months, when his next movie comes out.
The closest the film gets to making [a joke] is when Hobie is moved by his luck in going home with the nymphomaniac to direct his eyes heavenwards and mutter: "I'll never vote against school prayer again." Though nearer the mark than most of the film's attempts at humor, even this is slightly off target. No one will ever again vote against school prayer -- or for it either -- since no one is given the chance to vote on what some judge has decided is unconstitutional.
If this incompetent gag made it here, and how many likewise incompetent gags have made into the MASTER's other works of art? As THE HIGH-SCHOOL REVUE proves, comedy is NOT funny.
This will be the last I mention the WOODSTER for three months, when his next movie comes out.
I'd have commented on TWXSTER RAG's cover synergism about TV, but have not because of that damfool value-creating notion of putting the cover story off limits to the public, but I suspect for once the TWXSTERS have outdone MR. MARK in zeitgeisting foolishness; after all, any company that can stamp out assembly lines worth of goose-stepping organization men who bleat GUNS CAUSE COLUMBINES is sure to suggest that the public relax and enjoy their rape by TV PRODUCERS.
CLEM (that's KADIDDLEBLOG for the uninitiated) is fast -- and you don't have to open two windows to post! WOW!!!!!
We will still not forget the posts you've torn up, CLEM, nor the long delays, nor not being able to post for hours the day after Election Day -- and we know from impatient experience you'll be back to your old FREDDIE THE FREELOADER ways soon enough. Although never in history was any freeloader worth YOUR zillions.
We will still not forget the posts you've torn up, CLEM, nor the long delays, nor not being able to post for hours the day after Election Day -- and we know from impatient experience you'll be back to your old FREDDIE THE FREELOADER ways soon enough. Although never in history was any freeloader worth YOUR zillions.
Well, this must count for something; Dubya's gotten the Europeans not to sell arms to China despite their own fervent, democratic desires.
We should never, however, mistake anything the Europeans do for principle.
We should never, however, mistake anything the Europeans do for principle.
Monday, March 21, 2005
If this press release were music it would be "The Stars and Stripes Forever," though the words would be "It's a Sin to Tell a Lie."
ANOTHER CO-NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD -- to SCOTT!!!!!
[Reconstructed from a post deleted unilaterally by KADIDDLEBLOG.]
ANOTHER CO-NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD -- to SCOTT!!!!!
[Reconstructed from a post deleted unilaterally by KADIDDLEBLOG.]
ALL RIGHT, STERNO, GUNS CAUSE...oh NEVER MIND.
[This is a reconstruction of another post deleted unilaterally by KADIDDLEBLOG. While it may be vanity to repost something like this, I did post it last night when this story broke, and I want the record to show that.]
P. S. CLEM HID MY ORIGINAL POST. HERE it is -- and here's the proof I posted it when I said I did.
[This is a reconstruction of another post deleted unilaterally by KADIDDLEBLOG. While it may be vanity to repost something like this, I did post it last night when this story broke, and I want the record to show that.]
P. S. CLEM HID MY ORIGINAL POST. HERE it is -- and here's the proof I posted it when I said I did.
Speaking of broke, Blogshares and PubSub's LinkRanks aren't working.
Why bother with them? We all know who wins.
[Reconstructed from a post deleted unilaterally by KADIDDLEBLOG.]
Why bother with them? We all know who wins.
[Reconstructed from a post deleted unilaterally by KADIDDLEBLOG.]
I needed comic relief after that, and I found it -- MSN's BRANDING.
Haven't you scalded enough folks, BUGMEISTER?
Haven't you scalded enough folks, BUGMEISTER?
In all the photos I ever saw of Bobby Short he was smiling. Can you imagine a [C]RAPPER smiling? Can you imagine a [C]RAPPER as a gentleman? If the comparison of this superb cabaret man and [C]RAP doesn't show how the floor has collapsed from under pop music I don't know what does.
"I think one question out there is where is the sense of outrage? How does it get kindled or rekindled? One quick example-there are 550 people being held at Guantanamo Bay, 50 are in maximum security, 500 are not in maximum security. The government has said that none of them has intelligence value. There are two processes to determine their standing. We filed a FOIA Request. We've gotten nowhere. We've covered this, and our stories virtually have gotten no play. This is an important issue....What do we do to get people's attention?"
I'm disturbed by Dubya's secrecy obsession too -- but here's the problem, CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!): You once loudly belched that the news biz is run by CONSERVATIVES. What's more, CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!), two of your biz' great CRUSADES against government secrecy -- the Pentagon Papers and Woodstein's Watergate probe -- were politically LIBERAL. We know instinctively when you take on our government's secrecy you'll weight it down with that HEAVY IDEOLOGICAL BAGGAGE. So we can't trust you to go after government secrecy because it's bad, we can only assume you go after it because it's CONSERVATIVE. THAT'S the pretty pickle your lockstep ideological conformity has put us in, STOOGE.
P. S. I would have linked to my own post but I've discovered KADIDDLEBLOG'S PERFORMED ANOTHER IMPROVEMENT TO ITS SERVICE -- YOU CAN'T ACCESS OLD POSTS ON "EDIT POSTS."
I'm disturbed by Dubya's secrecy obsession too -- but here's the problem, CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!): You once loudly belched that the news biz is run by CONSERVATIVES. What's more, CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!), two of your biz' great CRUSADES against government secrecy -- the Pentagon Papers and Woodstein's Watergate probe -- were politically LIBERAL. We know instinctively when you take on our government's secrecy you'll weight it down with that HEAVY IDEOLOGICAL BAGGAGE. So we can't trust you to go after government secrecy because it's bad, we can only assume you go after it because it's CONSERVATIVE. THAT'S the pretty pickle your lockstep ideological conformity has put us in, STOOGE.
P. S. I would have linked to my own post but I've discovered KADIDDLEBLOG'S PERFORMED ANOTHER IMPROVEMENT TO ITS SERVICE -- YOU CAN'T ACCESS OLD POSTS ON "EDIT POSTS."
TRANSLATION: KADIDDLEBLOG'S STILL BROKE, AND THAT'S OUR LAST UPDATE FOR THREE WEEKS.
AND THANK YOU FOR LOSING TWO MORE OF MY POSTS.
AND THANK YOU FOR LOSING TWO MORE OF MY POSTS.
Iceland grants citizenship to Bobby Fisher [SIC]
I guess there was nothing better to do on those long winter nights.
SIEG HEIL BOBBY!!
I guess there was nothing better to do on those long winter nights.
SIEG HEIL BOBBY!!
Excellent news: a think tank says we have 10.3 million illegals.
Whatever happened to NAFTA? Whatever happened to border patrols?
Whatever happened to NAFTA? Whatever happened to border patrols?
I do not expect good lines of anyone who ever worked for our KNIGHTRIDDERDOM (or rather KNIGHTRIDDERDUMB) the InkyDinkyDooDoo -- I don't expect good lines of ANYONE who works for KNIGHTRIDDER, period -- but New York's ad-blurb copywriter has -- accidentally, no doubt -- come up with one for our favorite cinema artiste, WOODSTER the PERV:
[C]huckle at Radio Days and he’ll slap you upside the head with the dead fish of September.
But then what did I say the other day about mackerel?
[C]huckle at Radio Days and he’ll slap you upside the head with the dead fish of September.
But then what did I say the other day about mackerel?
POINTED OBSERVATION OF THE DAY, from JOHN SIMON:
Now, if ever, is time to conclude with a lament for the current state of the Broadway musical. Where once there was true originality that takes chances, now we have nothing but previously tested stuff, as if success in another, earlier form, guaranteed safe transport. There are to my knowledge highly promising musicals by old, expert hands languishing in drawers, because the new, corporate producers will only sponsor supposedly surefire, farcical, or sentimental recyclings. Unfortunately, what may or may not be financially safe is artistically almost always a surefire disaster.
Now, if ever, is time to conclude with a lament for the current state of the Broadway musical. Where once there was true originality that takes chances, now we have nothing but previously tested stuff, as if success in another, earlier form, guaranteed safe transport. There are to my knowledge highly promising musicals by old, expert hands languishing in drawers, because the new, corporate producers will only sponsor supposedly surefire, farcical, or sentimental recyclings. Unfortunately, what may or may not be financially safe is artistically almost always a surefire disaster.
What is 1 plus 1?
I'm Sorry, No Results Were Found.
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A business of corruption without precedent the lawsuit of the public markets of Island-of-France opens today in Paris. 47 prevented will have to be explained on the drifts on a large scale of the financing of the political formations - of right-hand side like left in the Nineties...
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With Barry buying the worthless Ask.com for $2 billion and G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000gle worth $50 billion, I don't think the dot.com boom has died out yet.
I'm Sorry, No Results Were Found.
-----------------------------------------
A business of corruption without precedent the lawsuit of the public markets of Island-of-France opens today in Paris. 47 prevented will have to be explained on the drifts on a large scale of the financing of the political formations - of right-hand side like left in the Nineties...
-----------------------------------------
With Barry buying the worthless Ask.com for $2 billion and G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000gle worth $50 billion, I don't think the dot.com boom has died out yet.