THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Saturday, April 30, 2005
For those of us who knew Star Trek when it was a DESILU show on NBC (yes, LUCILLE BALL produced it -- briefly), there is a certain melancholy to this story. Gene Roddenberry was lucky the Peacock's bean counters were so stupid; they turned memorable (if preachy) sci-fi TV into what has to be called a FRANCHISE; on the other hand they can also be blamed for the birth of the GET-A-LIFE crowd that has ruined so much of entertainment and has made computing such a nuisance. That the series may have no future signals the hopeful possibility that the LUCAS SPIELBERG franchise, which did so much of its part to dumb down America, may not be forever either. But while part of us laughs at SUMNER and HIS bean counters over yet another predicament, we must mourn that it was once possible for TV to unite so many of us, and that a memory of our youth further drifts away.
It's bad enough they still want to build a SHARD; now it will be a TAXPAYER-FINANCED SHARD, a SHARD less a BUILDING than a 1,776-foot-high FOLSOM PRISON.
Anything for the tourists.
Anything for the tourists.
When Technorati soon lists its 10,000,000th blog all the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS will be emitting highly poisonous smells celebrating DEMOCRACY IN ACTION. Sure. You've got the democracy and all we peons have is a BLOG.
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I SUPPOSE you COULD call WALTER "SPYWARE" WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "an American institution" -- but so was WALTER WINCHELL, and (to say it again) he died in POVERTY and OBSCURITY. I guess SPYWARE has too many financial advisers for him to die in POVERTY.
New Yorkers turn out in droves for the chance to dismantle Barbie phones and make them emit sounds they were never intended to produce. [Home-page teaser]
That's nothing. BUGMEISTER BILL's been getting computers to do things they shouldn't for DECADES.
That's nothing. BUGMEISTER BILL's been getting computers to do things they shouldn't for DECADES.
Elsewhere on the site THE SOB invented:
School mistakes huge burrito for a weapon
Hey people have mistaken USAOKAY!!!!! for...never mind.
School mistakes huge burrito for a weapon
Hey people have mistaken USAOKAY!!!!! for...never mind.
"American Pie" star Chris Klein pleaded guilty Friday to a misdemeanor drunken driving charge, was fined $1,800 and ordered to perform 150 hours of community service.
Hey, look what happened to Matthew Broderick! It could happen to YOU.
Hey, look what happened to Matthew Broderick! It could happen to YOU.
Iran Threatens to Resume Plans on Nuclear Fuel
Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I'll say this again: STERNO can GLOAT till he's blue in the face and even greener in his bank accounts but something has SNAPPED in our psyche.
This is Exhibit A in why it may not be worth the bother to follow the news on the Web.
P. S. Hey STERNO! Why aren't you part of the blogger IPO? Or are you?
This is Exhibit A in why it may not be worth the bother to follow the news on the Web.
P. S. Hey STERNO! Why aren't you part of the blogger IPO? Or are you?
Only in modern media-run publicity-mad America could some zillionaire ATTITUDINAL SLOB's holdout be a national crisis.
Now one could say at least we're spared the horror of what the news-consuming masses went through during WWII. But in their own way stories like these are almost as ruinous of our sanity. And we WON THAT war.
Now one could say at least we're spared the horror of what the news-consuming masses went through during WWII. But in their own way stories like these are almost as ruinous of our sanity. And we WON THAT war.
Friday, April 29, 2005
I have waited for the first blogger IPO. That eventuality seems a bit closer with an exclusive non-exclusive news service for bloggers (?!?!?!?!?). One suspects POP-UPS may be part of the deal as THE BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM are among the non-exclusively exclusive partners. I can imagine what would happen if I signed -- a form e-mail. Oh well, I may do it, just for a few laughs.
CHEAP CHANNEL: MARK OF EXCELLENCE (pffh-hh-hh):
Clear Channel has become a major player in the theatre world in the last few years. After some infrequent investments in Broadway shows in the late '90s, Clear Channel in 2000 bought SFX, the concert venue owner and promoter that had earlier swallowed the beleaguered Canadian producing and theatre-owning outfit Livent. Since then, it has had a hand in producing 42nd Street, Sweet Smell of Success, The Graduate, Thoroughly Modern Millie, Hairspray, Movin' Out, Wonderful Town, Fiddler on the Roof, Caroline, or Change, Dracula, La Cage aux Folles, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Spamalot, All Shook Up, Sweet Charity and Lennon.
Superb entertainment -- and half of them probably lost money. I can see why CHEAP's running from the biz screaming.
P. S. Here in Philthydelphia the CHEAP had a plan to rebuild an "HISTORIC" movie house for more bus-and-truck companies and more third-rate rock acts and more dark nights. I guess that one's as dead as the theater. Tear it down and build a SUPERMARKET, I say. It would be MUCH more useful.
Clear Channel has become a major player in the theatre world in the last few years. After some infrequent investments in Broadway shows in the late '90s, Clear Channel in 2000 bought SFX, the concert venue owner and promoter that had earlier swallowed the beleaguered Canadian producing and theatre-owning outfit Livent. Since then, it has had a hand in producing 42nd Street, Sweet Smell of Success, The Graduate, Thoroughly Modern Millie, Hairspray, Movin' Out, Wonderful Town, Fiddler on the Roof, Caroline, or Change, Dracula, La Cage aux Folles, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Spamalot, All Shook Up, Sweet Charity and Lennon.
Superb entertainment -- and half of them probably lost money. I can see why CHEAP's running from the biz screaming.
P. S. Here in Philthydelphia the CHEAP had a plan to rebuild an "HISTORIC" movie house for more bus-and-truck companies and more third-rate rock acts and more dark nights. I guess that one's as dead as the theater. Tear it down and build a SUPERMARKET, I say. It would be MUCH more useful.
One of THOSE days in TOENAIL.COMLAND:
Great Balls of Matzo
It's me vs. 420-pound Eric "Badlands" Booker for the title of world matzo-ball-eating champion.
Forced between matzoh balls and the EEEEEEEEEEEVIL of Dubya I'll take matzoh balls.
Great Balls of Matzo
It's me vs. 420-pound Eric "Badlands" Booker for the title of world matzo-ball-eating champion.
Forced between matzoh balls and the EEEEEEEEEEEVIL of Dubya I'll take matzoh balls.
MORE EXCELLENCE IN CREDULOUS REPORTING:
Mass. 'treasure' claim called a theft; 2 diggers arrested
Police Chief Joseph Solomon told ABC's Good Morning America that authorities might never have suspected anything had the men not sought publicity.
"Sometimes wanting to be famous is really the downfall of people," Solomon said.
[Barry] Billcliff [one of the "discoverers"] insisted the discrepancies could be explained.
"It's like watching a car accident," he told [The Lawrence Eagle-Tribune].
But then you could say that of MOST news stories.
Mass. 'treasure' claim called a theft; 2 diggers arrested
Police Chief Joseph Solomon told ABC's Good Morning America that authorities might never have suspected anything had the men not sought publicity.
"Sometimes wanting to be famous is really the downfall of people," Solomon said.
[Barry] Billcliff [one of the "discoverers"] insisted the discrepancies could be explained.
"It's like watching a car accident," he told [The Lawrence Eagle-Tribune].
But then you could say that of MOST news stories.
CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES waste precious resources on a sequel to THE DEATH OF SUPERMAN.
Meantime three networks thought THE SWEEPS more important than THE PRESIDENT, but then the way presidential press conferences are that might not necessarily have been such a bad thing.
P. S. TRIB gets an HONORARY NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD for helping with OUR JOINT VENTURE'S PR.
Meantime three networks thought THE SWEEPS more important than THE PRESIDENT, but then the way presidential press conferences are that might not necessarily have been such a bad thing.
P. S. TRIB gets an HONORARY NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD for helping with OUR JOINT VENTURE'S PR.
"I recognized a long time ago that it gives people something that they can mock me for, and frankly, I'd rather that they mock me about my hair than that they mock me about my story selection or dumb interviewing style or whatever else they might focus on."
Watch it, LORD KOPPEL of ESPNCORP, when you become a GREAT GRAY EMINENCE ON PBS "they'll" find something else to mock you for.
Watch it, LORD KOPPEL of ESPNCORP, when you become a GREAT GRAY EMINENCE ON PBS "they'll" find something else to mock you for.
NCAA gives OK to 12th game
Ka-CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NCAA President Myles Brand, who has supported academic reform among student-athletes, said Thursday that an additional game isn't likely to lead to academic difficulties among players.
"We have no evidence at all about negative academic consequences," he said. "The last two years we had 12 games (2002 and 2003), football student-athletes improved their graduation rates."
Hey! Why not go to an eighteen-game schedule like the PROS and graduate EVERYBODY!
Ka-CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NCAA President Myles Brand, who has supported academic reform among student-athletes, said Thursday that an additional game isn't likely to lead to academic difficulties among players.
"We have no evidence at all about negative academic consequences," he said. "The last two years we had 12 games (2002 and 2003), football student-athletes improved their graduation rates."
Hey! Why not go to an eighteen-game schedule like the PROS and graduate EVERYBODY!
I am disappointed to learn that ANDY S. is gassing as much as ever. When he announced he was temporarily suspending his blog I took him at his word, and removed him from my bookmarks, but as I should have known you can never take a NEWS HACK at his word, especially a British one. I presume he is every bit as quixotic and melodramatic as usual. I don't know, and I really don't want to find out.
EXCELLENT NEWS:
Clear Channel Communications Inc., the nation’s top radio broadcaster, on Friday said its profit fell by more than half in the first quarter as its plan to shorten ads and commercial breaks during programs dragged down revenue.
Clear Channel also announced plans to spin off its live-entertainment business and launch an initial public offering for 10 percent of Clear Channel Outdoor, which sells about $2.5 billion of billboard ad space each year.
TRANSLATION: People HATE your RADIO, little MR. MAYS, not EVERY Broadway show's a masterwork like KERNGERSHWIN HAMMERSTEIN'S, and look for the stock to TANK TODAY!
CORRECTION: Look for the stock to JUMP today as Cheap Channel shareholders delude themselves with their "special dividend"!
Clear Channel Communications Inc., the nation’s top radio broadcaster, on Friday said its profit fell by more than half in the first quarter as its plan to shorten ads and commercial breaks during programs dragged down revenue.
Clear Channel also announced plans to spin off its live-entertainment business and launch an initial public offering for 10 percent of Clear Channel Outdoor, which sells about $2.5 billion of billboard ad space each year.
TRANSLATION: People HATE your RADIO, little MR. MAYS, not EVERY Broadway show's a masterwork like KERNGERSHWIN HAMMERSTEIN'S, and look for the stock to TANK TODAY!
CORRECTION: Look for the stock to JUMP today as Cheap Channel shareholders delude themselves with their "special dividend"!
MORE excitement on SLASHDOT: the BATMAN BEGINS TRAILER'S BEEN RELEASED!!!!!
These IMBECILES are worse than any BLOGGER -- IF THAT'S POSSIBLE.
These IMBECILES are worse than any BLOGGER -- IF THAT'S POSSIBLE.
GE BANCORP, a company fined untold MILLIONS over the years for its CORPORATE RESPONSIBILITY, dumps some MORE on the PUBLIC.
As in 357,000 GOOGLE HITS.
As in 357,000 GOOGLE HITS.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
The news peddlers -- these are some of the people who MUST suffer because the six- and seven-digit HACKS would RATHER BE RIGHT.
Meantime ROMY and his followers can go tsk-tsk, kick back, and look forward to another good-paying high-self-regarding day.
Meantime ROMY and his followers can go tsk-tsk, kick back, and look forward to another good-paying high-self-regarding day.
Playboy costs Miss France title
Since when have the FRENCH been PRUDES?
And they're always talking about US.
Since when have the FRENCH been PRUDES?
And they're always talking about US.
"We have so wide-opened the [asbestos] bill now, in terms of medical criteria, that even if we pass this bill and fund it at $140 billion it will be dead in three or four years."
Well fund it for $300 billion and it won't be dead for seven or eight years. Fund it for a trillion and it won't be dead for fifteen or sixteen years. Fund it for a ZILLION and it'll NEVER die!
Well fund it for $300 billion and it won't be dead for seven or eight years. Fund it for a trillion and it won't be dead for fifteen or sixteen years. Fund it for a ZILLION and it'll NEVER die!
And in clicking on a link in the frequently idiotic SLASHDOT site I found this page, which proves MOVIE PHREAKS (and EXCRETORS such as this one) are just like LITERAHTEEYURE PHREAKS only they have even WORSE taste.
Another ARTSJOURNAL LINK-NUISANCE: When a writer takes to the CEEEEEEEEEEEBEEEEEEEEEE-uhCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE site to gush how many brilliant and witty literary bloggers there are, this means they're all cutely verbose, willing to like anything, engage in petty internecine squabbles that mean nothing outside the vacuum-packed world of LITERAHTEEYURE, and are proud to be logrolling. (You never know when they might come in handy writing a COVER BLURB.) In other words, they're GAWKER with PRETENSIONS. I'd love to find a good all around blog about books, but I'm not growing any younger, and having travelled endless cul-de-sacs on the Web I'm not anxious to find a thousand more.
From HUMBUG SQUARE:
Alice Hawthorne is dead. Kathy Scruggs is dead. But Eric Rudolph is alive and well, patiently waiting for his CONSERVATIVE soul brothers to set him free.
Yeah. Like Dubya and Denny Hastert and Bill Frist, and maybe George Will and Chuck Krauthammer -- and who knows? Maybe a SOUL SISTER like ANN COULTER.
Linked by Romy, who's not Humbug Square, he's HUMBUG TRIPLE AND QUADRUPLE.
Didn't ERRAMERICA just apologize for BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM? Did you LAUGHLAUGHLAUGHLAUGH, MR. HUMBUG?
Alice Hawthorne is dead. Kathy Scruggs is dead. But Eric Rudolph is alive and well, patiently waiting for his CONSERVATIVE soul brothers to set him free.
Yeah. Like Dubya and Denny Hastert and Bill Frist, and maybe George Will and Chuck Krauthammer -- and who knows? Maybe a SOUL SISTER like ANN COULTER.
Linked by Romy, who's not Humbug Square, he's HUMBUG TRIPLE AND QUADRUPLE.
Didn't ERRAMERICA just apologize for BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM? Did you LAUGHLAUGHLAUGHLAUGH, MR. HUMBUG?
LINE OF THE WEEK:
Now that television has dumbed us down, will Internet TV weird us out?
Hasn't the Web weirded us out already?
Now that television has dumbed us down, will Internet TV weird us out?
Hasn't the Web weirded us out already?
A JUXTAPOSITION on ARTSJOURNAL.COM:
Podcasting Notches An AM Radio Station
Followed three entries later by:
Sounds An Awful Lot Like Public Access TV
Podcasting Notches An AM Radio Station
Followed three entries later by:
Sounds An Awful Lot Like Public Access TV
I reserve the right to revise any post at any time to make it WITTIER. I hope to do this, however, as seldom as possible.
RATINGS AND V-CHIPS ARE DEFINITELY THE ANSWER:
On April 9 a young black working mother came to midtown Manhattan to attend a public forum on hip-hop violence sponsored by the Rev. Al Sharpton's National Action Network. The event was prompted by a shootout, one month earlier, between rival rap entourages outside Hot 97, one of New York's leading radio stations.
When the station's general manager, Barry Mayo, recited the cliché that parents should control what their children listen to and watch, the young woman rose to her feet: "I have a 12-year-old son, and I fear for him every day. I don't let him watch the videos, but I can't do it all by myself. I need help!"....
Millions of Americans are fed up with the calculated coarseness that now passes for "edginess" in the entertainment industry....
WHY MUST THIS APPEAR IN THE WALL STREET JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION FREELOADER'S REVIEW?
On April 9 a young black working mother came to midtown Manhattan to attend a public forum on hip-hop violence sponsored by the Rev. Al Sharpton's National Action Network. The event was prompted by a shootout, one month earlier, between rival rap entourages outside Hot 97, one of New York's leading radio stations.
When the station's general manager, Barry Mayo, recited the cliché that parents should control what their children listen to and watch, the young woman rose to her feet: "I have a 12-year-old son, and I fear for him every day. I don't let him watch the videos, but I can't do it all by myself. I need help!"....
Millions of Americans are fed up with the calculated coarseness that now passes for "edginess" in the entertainment industry....
WHY MUST THIS APPEAR IN THE WALL STREET JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION FREELOADER'S REVIEW?
ST. WARREN ADMITS:
[U]nless a link is established between the journeys and his official actions, it doesn't appear that DeLay will face any civil or criminal worries.
However, that doesn't mean a link doesn't EXIST, and furthermore, even if SNIDELY WHIPLASH is found INNOCENT does not mean he will be found HONEST.
[U]nless a link is established between the journeys and his official actions, it doesn't appear that DeLay will face any civil or criminal worries.
However, that doesn't mean a link doesn't EXIST, and furthermore, even if SNIDELY WHIPLASH is found INNOCENT does not mean he will be found HONEST.
We must honor GENIUS at every opportunity:
Performing rights organization ASCAP saluted the composers of scores for the year's top boxoffice features and television series at its annual Film and Television Music Awards, held Wednesday at the Beverly Hilton. John Debney received ASCAP's Henry Mancini Award for his contribution to film and TV music, and Mark Snow was honored with the Golden Note Award for 20 years of successful scoring. This year's film honorees include Debney, Marco Beltrami ("I, Robot"), Michael Giacchino ("The Incredibles"), Jeff Gibbs ("Fahrenheit 9/11"), James Horner ("Troy"), James Newton Howard ("Collateral," "The Village"), Gregor Narholz ("The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie"), Randy Newman ("Meet the Fockers"), Antonio Pinto (additional music for "Collateral"), John Powell ("The Bourne Supremacy"), Alan Silvestri ("The Polar Express," "Van Helsing") and Hans Zimmer ("Shark Tale").
Here are the Max Steiners and Alfred Newmans of today! WOW!!!!!
Performing rights organization ASCAP saluted the composers of scores for the year's top boxoffice features and television series at its annual Film and Television Music Awards, held Wednesday at the Beverly Hilton. John Debney received ASCAP's Henry Mancini Award for his contribution to film and TV music, and Mark Snow was honored with the Golden Note Award for 20 years of successful scoring. This year's film honorees include Debney, Marco Beltrami ("I, Robot"), Michael Giacchino ("The Incredibles"), Jeff Gibbs ("Fahrenheit 9/11"), James Horner ("Troy"), James Newton Howard ("Collateral," "The Village"), Gregor Narholz ("The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie"), Randy Newman ("Meet the Fockers"), Antonio Pinto (additional music for "Collateral"), John Powell ("The Bourne Supremacy"), Alan Silvestri ("The Polar Express," "Van Helsing") and Hans Zimmer ("Shark Tale").
Here are the Max Steiners and Alfred Newmans of today! WOW!!!!!
And speaking of LOONY-LEFTISTS, here's one who must surely think ABORTION's the greatest thing since sliced bread, who was surely not unsympathetic to hearing the great news-hack and liberal chant of "Die, Terri, DIE!" -- and she worries that we're "throwing our sick away"?
PLEASE, madam, spare me your UNCTION.
PLEASE, madam, spare me your UNCTION.
COURAGE, as defined by LOONY-LEFT HEARSTIES (YEEEEEEEECH!!!!!):
Trent Reznor (above, center) knows a thing or two about pain. The lead man for Nine Inch Nails has battled addiction, social phobia and writer's block. But Reznor has emerged from some dark times with a new album and a new outlook.
And COURAGE becomes even MORE COURAGEOUS when you have A NEW ALBUM TO SELL!
NIN plays the Warfield this week.
THANKS, HEARSTIES!
Trent Reznor (above, center) knows a thing or two about pain. The lead man for Nine Inch Nails has battled addiction, social phobia and writer's block. But Reznor has emerged from some dark times with a new album and a new outlook.
And COURAGE becomes even MORE COURAGEOUS when you have A NEW ALBUM TO SELL!
NIN plays the Warfield this week.
THANKS, HEARSTIES!
And speaking of Vietnam, today -- we're CELEBRATIN'!
REMEMBER:
The U.S. casualties far surpass the dead in all other wars in which the United States has been involved since 1975.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!
BUT:
The only high profile foreign visitor will be Cuban First Vice-President General Raul Castro Ruz, the communist nation's defense minister and regarded as Fidel Castro's heir apparent.
Shucks! Doesn't a VICTORY AGAINST IMPERIALISM DESERVE BETTER?
Keeping a "low profile" for WAL-MART, I guess.
REMEMBER:
The U.S. casualties far surpass the dead in all other wars in which the United States has been involved since 1975.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!
BUT:
The only high profile foreign visitor will be Cuban First Vice-President General Raul Castro Ruz, the communist nation's defense minister and regarded as Fidel Castro's heir apparent.
Shucks! Doesn't a VICTORY AGAINST IMPERIALISM DESERVE BETTER?
Keeping a "low profile" for WAL-MART, I guess.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Actors pretending to be patients with symptoms of stress and fatigue were five times as likely to walk out of doctors' offices with a prescription when they mentioned seeing an ad for the heavily promoted antidepressant Paxil, according an unusual study being published today.
Who says advertising doesn't work?
(A leading lede, I'll admit. But here's from another story:
Direct-to-consumer advertising of prescription drugs seems to increase the likelihood that physicians will prescribe those drugs, according to a study in the April 27th issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association. This can have mixed results in patient care, averting underuse in some cases and promoting overuse in others.
I'll say it again: Who says advertising doesn't work?
Who says advertising doesn't work?
(A leading lede, I'll admit. But here's from another story:
Direct-to-consumer advertising of prescription drugs seems to increase the likelihood that physicians will prescribe those drugs, according to a study in the April 27th issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association. This can have mixed results in patient care, averting underuse in some cases and promoting overuse in others.
I'll say it again: Who says advertising doesn't work?
Youuuuuuuuuuuuu stepped out of a dreeeeeeeeeeeeeam....
Washington, D.C. (Post Alum) [RAH RAH!! --Ed.]: Mike, former colleagues tell me that Don's editorial proclivities are sufficiently Republican that reporters are afraid to write stories critical of the administration. I heard that from several people. I believe it to be true. And I am convinced that it is a profound shame.
Michael Abramowitz: I have been on the National Desk for seven years, and I have seen no evidence of this.
Want further no evidence? See the answer to the FIRST QUESTION: 333 (!) TESTY WORDS that PROVE ST. WARREN'S CHERUBIM do NOT SLANT POLLS. SHUT UP, WAPOST NUMBER TWO NATIONAL EDITOR!
No thank you again, ROMY!
P. S. One of the loveliest songs, I should say -- especially Glenn Miller's version. Nacio Herb Brown and Gus Kahn wrote it.
Washington, D.C. (Post Alum) [RAH RAH!! --Ed.]: Mike, former colleagues tell me that Don's editorial proclivities are sufficiently Republican that reporters are afraid to write stories critical of the administration. I heard that from several people. I believe it to be true. And I am convinced that it is a profound shame.
Michael Abramowitz: I have been on the National Desk for seven years, and I have seen no evidence of this.
Want further no evidence? See the answer to the FIRST QUESTION: 333 (!) TESTY WORDS that PROVE ST. WARREN'S CHERUBIM do NOT SLANT POLLS. SHUT UP, WAPOST NUMBER TWO NATIONAL EDITOR!
No thank you again, ROMY!
P. S. One of the loveliest songs, I should say -- especially Glenn Miller's version. Nacio Herb Brown and Gus Kahn wrote it.
One last word on the cable oligopoly's cheap publicity stunt: if the biz had the honest contempt that it shows every day for its turnips it would launch a campaign called, "DON'T CENSOR OUR SHOWS!", featuring millions of "satisified" spokespoops saying how they didn't want Congress blahblahblah. Just two problems: America's ignorant advertisers might pick up on it (highly unlikely, as they want to be in with the in crowd, and as GOOD TASTE IS CENSORSHIP), and second, someone in Congress might pick up on it, and use the occasion to force the ROBERTSBARONS to justify what they air, perhaps offering up in a committee room a few choice scenes of what shouldn't be censored. I can see an exchange between an intelligent, forthright Congressman (I can dream, can't I?) and BRIAN ROBERTSBARON: "W-w-we have the V-chip!" " Yes, and you have the programs, and you intend to keep them on." "B-b-but w-w-we have the V-chip!" "And few parents care, and most kids can watch what they please." "Nobody's going to tell us..." "That's the problem -- nobody DOES tell you. AND THAT'S WHY PEOPLE HATE YOUR GUTS."
The time will come -- it won't be soon -- when the debate over decency takes a new twist, when it turns into a fight over how much media we UNWILLINGLY finance through ad revenues, subscription fees and cable tithes. Make no mistake: MEDIA RULE IS TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION.
It's a shame someone with deep pockets couldn't launch a counter-campaign on the industry for all its depradations to our culture, our sanity, and our bankbooks. And I have the perfect motto:
"TURN OFF CABLE."
P. S. Nothing from STERNO. Maybe even he believes he's too much the industry shill.
The time will come -- it won't be soon -- when the debate over decency takes a new twist, when it turns into a fight over how much media we UNWILLINGLY finance through ad revenues, subscription fees and cable tithes. Make no mistake: MEDIA RULE IS TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION.
It's a shame someone with deep pockets couldn't launch a counter-campaign on the industry for all its depradations to our culture, our sanity, and our bankbooks. And I have the perfect motto:
"TURN OFF CABLE."
P. S. Nothing from STERNO. Maybe even he believes he's too much the industry shill.
CIRCULATION INFLATION IN MILWAUKEE?
WHO'S NEXT?
According to the suit, Journal Sentinel counted as circulation papers that were:
• Distributed free to homes, businesses, on the street and at large gatherings such as Summerfest, parades and sporting events.
• Thrown into Dumpsters without ever having been distributed.
• Donated to schools.
• Distributed to apartment tenants as part of a scheme in which the subscription cost was included in the rent, then kicked back to the apartment complex manager.
Haven't YOU done that, RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? MORT ZUCK?
WHO'S NEXT?
According to the suit, Journal Sentinel counted as circulation papers that were:
• Distributed free to homes, businesses, on the street and at large gatherings such as Summerfest, parades and sporting events.
• Thrown into Dumpsters without ever having been distributed.
• Donated to schools.
• Distributed to apartment tenants as part of a scheme in which the subscription cost was included in the rent, then kicked back to the apartment complex manager.
Haven't YOU done that, RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? MORT ZUCK?
There will be two ways to view this sudden rush for HOUSE ETHICS:
1. The LIBERAL way: "NOW WE CAN HOUND THE MOST EEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL MAN IN AMERICA OUT OF THE CONGRESS!!!!!"
2. The CON-SER-VA-TIVE WAY: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!"
But then we're talking ETHICS, we means we're talking BLOVIATING AND PLATITUDINIZING EITHER WAY.
1. The LIBERAL way: "NOW WE CAN HOUND THE MOST EEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL MAN IN AMERICA OUT OF THE CONGRESS!!!!!"
2. The CON-SER-VA-TIVE WAY: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!"
But then we're talking ETHICS, we means we're talking BLOVIATING AND PLATITUDINIZING EITHER WAY.
"I've earned the right to just make things that I find provocative in my own way....I've earned the right to fail, which means making what I think are really great movies that no one wants to see."
As opposed, LUCAS SPIELBERG, to YOUR specialty -- really CRAPPY movies EVERYONE WANTS TO SEE.
As opposed, LUCAS SPIELBERG, to YOUR specialty -- really CRAPPY movies EVERYONE WANTS TO SEE.
The MASTER of TWENTY-SEVEN UNIVERSES THINKS!
Microsoft is also asking Washington for help. [Richard F.] Rashid [one of the MASTER's sidekicks] said he was meeting with lawmakers and others this week to press for education improvements, more research spending by government and relaxed immigration rules to let companies hire more foreign employees.
TRANSLATION: "We'll double our money -- on the TAXPAYERS'! Bwahahahahaha!!!!!"
More ETHICS and MORALS coming.
Microsoft is also asking Washington for help. [Richard F.] Rashid [one of the MASTER's sidekicks] said he was meeting with lawmakers and others this week to press for education improvements, more research spending by government and relaxed immigration rules to let companies hire more foreign employees.
TRANSLATION: "We'll double our money -- on the TAXPAYERS'! Bwahahahahaha!!!!!"
More ETHICS and MORALS coming.
STEVE! Are YOU trying to be the next GLIBERAL? You're making a good start!
If I were you, GLIBERAL, I'd look over my shoulder, even if "The Man of the Quarter of a Century" IS older than you.
LINKED THROUGH ARTSJOURNAL.COM. CAN'T YOU MORONS LINK TO SOMETHING ELSE?
P. S. PINCH!! SMITE SOMEONE FOR THAT URL!!!!!
If I were you, GLIBERAL, I'd look over my shoulder, even if "The Man of the Quarter of a Century" IS older than you.
LINKED THROUGH ARTSJOURNAL.COM. CAN'T YOU MORONS LINK TO SOMETHING ELSE?
P. S. PINCH!! SMITE SOMEONE FOR THAT URL!!!!!
"Take Control. It's Easy."
You just tell parents you don't intend to be responsible and dump the problem in THEIR lap.
Yes, we know all about BELTWAY IMMORALITY, that's for sure.
You just tell parents you don't intend to be responsible and dump the problem in THEIR lap.
Yes, we know all about BELTWAY IMMORALITY, that's for sure.
Partisan Divide on Social Security Widens
These hacks may think they help THEIR SIDE widening partisan divides, but how does it help the REST of us?
These hacks may think they help THEIR SIDE widening partisan divides, but how does it help the REST of us?
It's only four grafs, but for the first time -- A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD goes to an INTERNATIONAL OUTFIT:
Lucas forced himself to write Episode III
So He could force all those infernal GEEKS to watch IT and the NEXT TWENTY SEQUELS He hasn't mentioned yet.
Lucas forced himself to write Episode III
So He could force all those infernal GEEKS to watch IT and the NEXT TWENTY SEQUELS He hasn't mentioned yet.
It IS R. Emmett's guy, but we'd say he has it down right:
The Washington Post predicts that the "controversy over House Majority Leader Tom DeLay will trigger an ethics war" in the nation's capital. Just that phrase alone, "ethics war," exposes the phoniness of the concept. Does "ethics war" mean that D.C. pols will compete with each other to become better people? Does it mean they'll jostle with each other to see who's more faithful to the Ten Commandments? No, it means one faction of immoral operators will inspect the minor missteps of another faction, and hope they emerge from the petty contest looking more "ethical" in the eyes of the public so they'll acquire more power with which to advance immoral legislation....
The Post reports that the frenzy over DeLay has prompted the House to give members an "hour-long 'ethics briefing.'" Ethics in less than an hour. Not bad. A few moments straining at the gnat, and then the congressmen can go back to their lobbyists' feast on the camel.
And let us not forget the WaPost IS ST. WARREN's rag, and He IS a most ETHICAL God.
The Washington Post predicts that the "controversy over House Majority Leader Tom DeLay will trigger an ethics war" in the nation's capital. Just that phrase alone, "ethics war," exposes the phoniness of the concept. Does "ethics war" mean that D.C. pols will compete with each other to become better people? Does it mean they'll jostle with each other to see who's more faithful to the Ten Commandments? No, it means one faction of immoral operators will inspect the minor missteps of another faction, and hope they emerge from the petty contest looking more "ethical" in the eyes of the public so they'll acquire more power with which to advance immoral legislation....
The Post reports that the frenzy over DeLay has prompted the House to give members an "hour-long 'ethics briefing.'" Ethics in less than an hour. Not bad. A few moments straining at the gnat, and then the congressmen can go back to their lobbyists' feast on the camel.
And let us not forget the WaPost IS ST. WARREN's rag, and He IS a most ETHICAL God.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
REFORM in EHDYUKAYSHUN:
Come fall, all 28 private firms that provide after-school tutoring for 41,000 Chicago public school children are expected to be invited back, even if they've had poor results this year.
That's because the decision to renew the firms, which will earn up to $50 million this year, is governed by the federal No Child Left Behind Act and isn't up to CPS [Chicago Public Schools].
TRANSLATION: Ka-CHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And don't forget, ST. WARREN is in the TUTORING BIZ.
Come fall, all 28 private firms that provide after-school tutoring for 41,000 Chicago public school children are expected to be invited back, even if they've had poor results this year.
That's because the decision to renew the firms, which will earn up to $50 million this year, is governed by the federal No Child Left Behind Act and isn't up to CPS [Chicago Public Schools].
TRANSLATION: Ka-CHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And don't forget, ST. WARREN is in the TUTORING BIZ.
Bono bunks at Bill Gates's house
THESE TWO MEN WILL SAVE THE WORLD!!!!!
(Except, of course, that the BUGMEISTER ALREADY RULES TWENTY-SEVEN UNIVERSES.)
P. S. Note that this is listed as "Offbeat News." Posterity cannot be pleased.
THESE TWO MEN WILL SAVE THE WORLD!!!!!
(Except, of course, that the BUGMEISTER ALREADY RULES TWENTY-SEVEN UNIVERSES.)
P. S. Note that this is listed as "Offbeat News." Posterity cannot be pleased.
Former Massachusetts Gov. William Weld said Tuesday he is seriously considering running for governor of New York if his fellow Republican, Gov. George Pataki, does not seek a fourth term next year.
What's the difference?
What's the difference?
Boeing Wins $6.9 Bln Order from Air-India
Well, for what it's worth, for now we won't be flying JOBS there.
Well, for what it's worth, for now we won't be flying JOBS there.
Someday, There Will Be a Fat Pill
This being in Toenail.com I fear someday there will be a liberal pill and a conservative pill.
Actually, there already is. The liberal PILL is Toenail.com and the conservative PILL is NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!
This being in Toenail.com I fear someday there will be a liberal pill and a conservative pill.
Actually, there already is. The liberal PILL is Toenail.com and the conservative PILL is NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE PAPER OF RE-CORD'S hiding something -- we're SURE THE PAPER OF RE-CORD'S HIDING something, it has to be in a story mentioning Paul Robeson -- but we'll just accept that Philip Morrison, builder of the first atomic bomb, saw the devastation at Hiroshima, and swore to prevent any further such destructions. We killed untold hundreds of thousands of civilians with the bomb, and it was the least a man of conscience could do.
We trust NEWS HACKS so much we now question the OBITUARIES.
We trust NEWS HACKS so much we now question the OBITUARIES.
KMART's selling WHITE GOODS! In COLORS!
The MERGER's working out BRILLIANTLY! BLUE LIGHT SPECIALS on BLUE WASHING MACHINES!
The MERGER's working out BRILLIANTLY! BLUE LIGHT SPECIALS on BLUE WASHING MACHINES!
OKAY G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER, I GET THE MESSAGE, NO MORE HITS UNTIL YOU WANT ME TO GET THEM!
ANOTHER REASON I HATE G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER!
ANOTHER REASON I HATE G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER!
Iraqi insurgency far from 'fizzling'
Is this the truth or a hope?
That we must ask such a question reveals how much NEWS HACKS have been willing to sacrifice their reputations to PARTISAN TABLE POUNDING.
Is this the truth or a hope?
That we must ask such a question reveals how much NEWS HACKS have been willing to sacrifice their reputations to PARTISAN TABLE POUNDING.
Speaking of the ST., He uses His paper to run another POLL COMMANDING REPUBLICANS to STOP.
Honestly, ST., isn't being worth umpteen billions and being the Messiah Reborn enough for You?
Honestly, ST., isn't being worth umpteen billions and being the Messiah Reborn enough for You?
If you were to prepare a list of the top 10 stories you will never, ever read in a newspaper, one of them would surely include a sentence beginning: "Thousands of angry, screaming moderates took to the streets yesterday demanding...."
That is true, E. J. but somehow we can imagine you starting an OP-ED column with such a line, which is why you've become ST. WARREN'S GLIBERAL, a man who seems willing to endanger his health to excoriate the PERFIDY of the right.
That is true, E. J. but somehow we can imagine you starting an OP-ED column with such a line, which is why you've become ST. WARREN'S GLIBERAL, a man who seems willing to endanger his health to excoriate the PERFIDY of the right.
Number of Uninsured May Be Overstated, Studies Suggest
More lies, more damned lies, more statistics.
The over-count appears to stem from technical problems with the Census Bureau's Current Population Survey....
Somehow, I am not surprised.
More lies, more damned lies, more statistics.
The over-count appears to stem from technical problems with the Census Bureau's Current Population Survey....
Somehow, I am not surprised.
Monday, April 25, 2005
Which brings me to another topic: BUGMEISTER BILL got excited today because whatever he can do in 32-bit he'll do better in 64-bit. In the center of the twenty-seven universes he rules over he must say every day, "I am the age's EDISON -- and no man has ever caused so much grief with technology bwahahahaha!!!!!" The comparison stops before it starts because Edison invented things, things that worked -- but the comparison isn't entirely inapt as Edison had visions of world domination through show-biz, visions the CODEWRITER of REDMOND has shared in weaker moments. Edison had a movie trust; the Bugmeister has a software trust. Edison made lots of recorded music. The Bugmeister has Windows Media Player. What is left of Edison's entertainment empire? Rotting nitrate stock and forgotten metal parts. Movies and recorded music lived, though they're now unwatchable and unlistenable. What will remain of the GENIUS of MICROSOFT after a dozen permutations of SOFTWARE?
I hate to harp on this show by RICHARD RODGERS' GRANDSON, but by calling his music "intermittently melodious" John Simon confirms one thing: you cannot write musicals with mere technical excellence. Adam Guettel must know the ins and outs of Broadway shows as well as anyone; he surely learned every last bit of technique through diligent attendance at theater workshops (unlike, say, the Gershwins and the Berlins, who learned their technique on the street). But no amount of excellent technique will make up for a LACK OF INSPIRATION. Richard Rodgers' name will endure forever because of his abundant inspiration. For a simple comparison consider his daughter Mary -- Mr. Guettel's mother -- who wrote a couple of moderate hits in the fifties and sixties. Can you name ONE of her TUNES? And at least her shows had hooks; Once Upon a Mattress starred Carol Burnett, and she did a Mad magazine revue. But Mr. Guettel has written nothing but boutique musicals, small-scale musicals, successes d'estime, musicals for vest-pocket theaters, and there he will stay. I make something of this because we once did musicals very well; they were at the heart and in the soul of our culture. Now we have extremely stylizing ciphers and Ben Brantley's "cartoons" and "robots." When will people come to realize our culture's excellence and inspiration have already gone down the drain, and no amount of adjectives from AD-BLURB COPYWRITERS will bring them BACK?
A thought occured to me: is the CW wrong about newspaper "decline"? When will circulation settle down to the hard core of people who knot their brows over CREDIT CARDS and pump their fists for John Kerry? Have the people who hate newspapers because of their bias and inaccuracy and groupthink and salesmanship and lousy writing already departed the premises? And we mustn't forget, so long as there are WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS, and so long as they use code words like BRANDING and DEMOGRAPHICS, there will be media -- including NEWSPAPERS.
The Game has been hit with a $280 million lawsuit by a man who alleges he assaulted him earlier this year.
A radio DJ claims The Game, real name Jayceon Taylor, and his entourage attacked him after an interview at a station near Washington DC - and that he then rapped about it in the song "Hate it or Love It".
Another [C]RAPPER makes a DOUBLE-BRILLIANT career move.
A radio DJ claims The Game, real name Jayceon Taylor, and his entourage attacked him after an interview at a station near Washington DC - and that he then rapped about it in the song "Hate it or Love It".
Another [C]RAPPER makes a DOUBLE-BRILLIANT career move.
It would be nice to think you're concerned about the culture, Gil, but to quote one review of your book, "Still, censorship is out of the question for First Amendment absolutist Reavill, who says that adults who want smut should be able to get it. [No mention of that in your THINK PIECE, Gil.] What, however, ever happened to discretion, and can it be restored?" TRANSLATION: We can't -- and SHOULDN'T -- do anything.
Even some DEMOCRATS won't fall for THAT SHTICK.
Even some DEMOCRATS won't fall for THAT SHTICK.
This, I promise, is the LAST TIME we talk about the FLYING KEYBOARD (at least until the "REPORTING" comes out), but one reason some of us are so EXERCISED over him is that while you folks are dealing out HARSHEST PUNISHMENT to SNIDELY WHIPLASH over CREDIT CARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, you, like DOCTORS, BURY your MISTAKES -- maybe not in the ground, but on SATURDAYS.
P. S. Does "highly-regarded" equal CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED?
P. S. Does "highly-regarded" equal CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED?
ROMY -- again, again:
"I don't think it matters whether newspapers survive"
This is true, for as the POP-UP BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM BROUGHT TO YOU BY AMEX have shown, BLOGGERS can SLANT UNFAIRLY with the BEST OF THEM.
"I don't think it matters whether newspapers survive"
This is true, for as the POP-UP BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM BROUGHT TO YOU BY AMEX have shown, BLOGGERS can SLANT UNFAIRLY with the BEST OF THEM.
ROMY -- again....
A more "modern" pope would have journalists more excited
A more "modern" pope would not have JERNALISTS screaming about this CHEHRMAN REACTIONARY.
A more "modern" pope would have journalists more excited
A more "modern" pope would not have JERNALISTS screaming about this CHEHRMAN REACTIONARY.
"What a cruel bunch of know-it-alls this profession creates"
You have to be in order to be BETTER THAN YOUR READERS.
You have to be in order to be BETTER THAN YOUR READERS.
U.N. nominee faces new allegations of -- VERBAL ABUSE!!!!!
Is it anything like the tons of VERBAL, NOUNAL, ADJECTIVAL and ADVERBIAL ABUSE you HACKS subject us to EVERY DAY?
Is it anything like the tons of VERBAL, NOUNAL, ADJECTIVAL and ADVERBIAL ABUSE you HACKS subject us to EVERY DAY?
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! OUR TEAM'S WINNING!!!!!
And we'll SEE that it wins even if we have to lose HALF OUR READERSHIP to do it!
And we'll SEE that it wins even if we have to lose HALF OUR READERSHIP to do it!
"This drives the nail into the coffin of the idea that Google is a search business," said John Battelle, the author of a coming book on Google called "The Search."
"It is an advertising business that has nothing particularly to do with search."
And indeed G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE won't soon be worth $5 trillion a share because it's in the search business.
It certainly isn't in the BLOGGING business.
When does G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE become a heavy just like the rest of Corporate America? Isn't it time for this pile of free cash flow to be forced to GROW UP?
"It is an advertising business that has nothing particularly to do with search."
And indeed G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE won't soon be worth $5 trillion a share because it's in the search business.
It certainly isn't in the BLOGGING business.
When does G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE become a heavy just like the rest of Corporate America? Isn't it time for this pile of free cash flow to be forced to GROW UP?
Sunday, April 24, 2005
And also on USAOKAY!!!!!.com, an exclamation-point sort of thing:
U. S. PRISON POPULATION SOARS IN 2003, '04!!!!!
CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGE gives the increase at 2.3%. To be sure having over seven percent of our population incarcerated should not exactly be a source of national pride, but 2.3% (48,000, or 960 a state) may not exactly be soaring either, which hints at the usual NEWS HACK chicanery behind the news. (Hint: it may have to do with SKIN COLOR.) The NYSE could use this hed writer to SWEETEN the BID.
This is the sort of story better told with several good charts, but that would make the numbers clear, which GOD KNOWS news hacks would never want to do.
U. S. PRISON POPULATION SOARS IN 2003, '04!!!!!
CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGE gives the increase at 2.3%. To be sure having over seven percent of our population incarcerated should not exactly be a source of national pride, but 2.3% (48,000, or 960 a state) may not exactly be soaring either, which hints at the usual NEWS HACK chicanery behind the news. (Hint: it may have to do with SKIN COLOR.) The NYSE could use this hed writer to SWEETEN the BID.
This is the sort of story better told with several good charts, but that would make the numbers clear, which GOD KNOWS news hacks would never want to do.
A plug for yet another music-video "service," as if we need one.
One of the backers is Forbes's publisher, which makes me wonder when stinky politics will enter into it, or whether he can proudly set it aside in the name of crappy Internet TV that might offend some of his readers. I suspect we'll know the answer when P&G and Coke hear of it. ("Dodge, the Navy and Norelco" have.)
One of the backers is Forbes's publisher, which makes me wonder when stinky politics will enter into it, or whether he can proudly set it aside in the name of crappy Internet TV that might offend some of his readers. I suspect we'll know the answer when P&G and Coke hear of it. ("Dodge, the Navy and Norelco" have.)
Stupids in the wireless biz want to VALENTIIZE RINGTONES, which will not stop US from having to LISTEN to INDECENT ones, WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT.
It is increasingly clear that RATINGS are merely a form of INDUSTRY CONTROL OVER US, and the only solution to indecent material is for US to CONTROL THE INDUSTRY with CENSORSHIP.
P. S. LET'S PUT TOGETHER A LIST OF WHO GETS BRIBED THIS TIME.
It is increasingly clear that RATINGS are merely a form of INDUSTRY CONTROL OVER US, and the only solution to indecent material is for US to CONTROL THE INDUSTRY with CENSORSHIP.
P. S. LET'S PUT TOGETHER A LIST OF WHO GETS BRIBED THIS TIME.
The BEEB invents news again, and American news hacks can only sit and sigh at what they COULD do.
(Linked through THE CORNER, which for once didn't misspell anything.)
(Linked through THE CORNER, which for once didn't misspell anything.)
Vir-GIN-ia! Vir-GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN-ia! STERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNO!!!!! A HERO OF ALL TIME GOT HIS BOOK EXCERPTED IN THE PAPER OF RE-CORD MAGAZINE!! THERE'S HOPE FOR CIVILIZATION YET!!!!!
Perfesser Thompson, YOU have competition!
Perfesser Thompson, YOU have competition!
Foes of Adelphia deal warn of higher prices, less variety
Now that we have TWO DE FACTO NATIONAL CABLE COMPANIES we don't have to worry about it.
Now that we have TWO DE FACTO NATIONAL CABLE COMPANIES we don't have to worry about it.
Is it me or is the WONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDERFUL FIREFOX SLOWER THAN IE?
It also has a number of annoying quirks, like the fairly wide margin in the Bookmarks list (you have to narrow the browsing window to see what you want) and the fact that you can get the tabs readily confused if you're used to IE, as I am. It has also let a few pop-under ads through. I will be installing XP on my system soon (I changed my mind on my computer -- more to come) and intend to make a test using a dual-bootable set-up with IE under XP. I have a hunch that despite our scorn for BUGMEISTER BILL his Web browser may not be THAT bad, nor the competition's THAT good.
It also has a number of annoying quirks, like the fairly wide margin in the Bookmarks list (you have to narrow the browsing window to see what you want) and the fact that you can get the tabs readily confused if you're used to IE, as I am. It has also let a few pop-under ads through. I will be installing XP on my system soon (I changed my mind on my computer -- more to come) and intend to make a test using a dual-bootable set-up with IE under XP. I have a hunch that despite our scorn for BUGMEISTER BILL his Web browser may not be THAT bad, nor the competition's THAT good.
Even as it throws a mighty tantrum over A LOBBYIST'S CREDIT CARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, ST. WARREN's favorite mass of idle wood pulp tries to find a -- TREND in today's musical masterpieces. That Perfesser Thompson is missing is only because this isn't television. And yet in a sense it is, for these entertainments revolve around what THE PAPER OF RE-CORD's own blurbist Ben has called "singing cartoons and dancing robots." But instead of writing intelligently and critically about them, ST. WARREN's scribbler must assume the Thinker's pose with a marble head, and let forth with an exertion that is less writing than it is the lifting of a leg and a subsequent gleeful gas expulsion. Banging the keyboard about CREDIT CARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! does not excuse this kind of weightless buncombe, nor will such tripe keep readers from fleeing the daily rags in ever increasing droves.
A quite THOUGHTFUL (pffh-hh-hh) NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK award to PETER!
(Linked through ArtsJournal.com, which has an uncanny way of linking to some VERY irritating word extrusions.)
A quite THOUGHTFUL (pffh-hh-hh) NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK award to PETER!
(Linked through ArtsJournal.com, which has an uncanny way of linking to some VERY irritating word extrusions.)
Well! Here's somebody who doesn't think 9/11 was a DISASTER.
P. S. In the old days actresses had names you could remember, like Ingrid Bergman, or Sophia Loren. Now they have names like Ggglhhhrreeennmmm. At least people won't remember WHO said this.
P. P. S. Of course MORT ZUCK spoils the effect with another of his PRIVATE TRAGEDIES that gets his JOLLIES going.
P. S. In the old days actresses had names you could remember, like Ingrid Bergman, or Sophia Loren. Now they have names like Ggglhhhrreeennmmm. At least people won't remember WHO said this.
P. P. S. Of course MORT ZUCK spoils the effect with another of his PRIVATE TRAGEDIES that gets his JOLLIES going.
OH oh, Martha's in trouble with her HOUSE ARREST!
So long as she was being DECORATIVE.
But THE EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY made FUN of her!
She IS in trouble!
So long as she was being DECORATIVE.
But THE EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY made FUN of her!
She IS in trouble!
SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX makes a case for CALM and REASON:
Here is what should happen: The Democratic Senate leadership should agree voluntarily to set aside the continued threat of filibustering the seven Bush appointees to the federal appeals courts who were blocked in the last Congress and whose names have been resubmitted. In return, they should get a renewed promise from the president that he will not bypass the Senate by offering any more recess appointments to the bench and a pledge from Republican Senate leaders to consider each such nominee individually, carefully and with a guarantee of extensive debate in coming months.
I'm sure that is EXACTLY what they'll do, SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX.
Here is what should happen: The Democratic Senate leadership should agree voluntarily to set aside the continued threat of filibustering the seven Bush appointees to the federal appeals courts who were blocked in the last Congress and whose names have been resubmitted. In return, they should get a renewed promise from the president that he will not bypass the Senate by offering any more recess appointments to the bench and a pledge from Republican Senate leaders to consider each such nominee individually, carefully and with a guarantee of extensive debate in coming months.
I'm sure that is EXACTLY what they'll do, SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX.
LAWRENCE WHATABURGER takes the TERRIBLE TEMPERED MR. BOLTON'S SIDE?!?!?
I'd have thought he'd have sided with the angels -- after having licked the Communist Chinese boots.
I'd have thought he'd have sided with the angels -- after having licked the Communist Chinese boots.
DELAY'S AIRFARE WAS CHARGED TO LOBBYIST'S CREDIT CARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whatever happened to OPRAH'S BOY TOY? You guys seem to have covered up HIS transgressions REAL good.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whatever happened to OPRAH'S BOY TOY? You guys seem to have covered up HIS transgressions REAL good.
I'd love to have been in MR. MARK's office LAST week; he must have been throwing keyboards like OPRAH'S BOY TOY. "WHY THE @#$%&* DO WE HAVE TO PUT ALL THESE @#$%&* HOLY MEN ON THE @#$%&* COVER! WHEN IN @#$%&* GOD'S NAME CAN WE STOP PUTTING ALL THESE @#$%&* POPES ON THE @#$%&* COVER! I'M SICK OF @#$%&* HOLY MEN!
"I KNOW -- WHEN WE PUT ST. GEORGE ON THE COVER!!!!!!!!!!"
And the keyboards stopped flying.
"I KNOW -- WHEN WE PUT ST. GEORGE ON THE COVER!!!!!!!!!!"
And the keyboards stopped flying.
Saturday, April 23, 2005
One of the very irritating things about Forbes is the way it's always TALKING UP the collectables biz, as though it's trying to rub the readers' noses in its hubris. These two articles would qualify for NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK awards except that a large measure of the fault lies with the morons who invest in comic books and photo books -- they're the ne plus ultra of eBaying, and would send one of their cherished possessions to $100 million if they could -- before the inevitable crash. Isn't collecting the ultimate expression of THE GREATER FOOL THEORY?
A finalist for the World Bank chairmanship now has eyes on the prime-ministership of CANADA.
Wasn't there a time ADULTS ran the world?
Wasn't there a time ADULTS ran the world?
Tonight I finally got around to playing the Silk Stockings soundtrack, and I must say for all the exultations of [C]RAPPERS as GENIUSES it turned me as much upside down and around as the Iron Lung once did to Fred Astaire. This is probably a better album than it is a movie. One thing: I'll never understand why people (among them that very intelligent composer and writer the late Alec Wilder) find "All of You" offensive. It's just a great songwriter further refining his double-entendre skills in an endearing way onto a most sweet melody. If anything it's a wonder a song like "Josephine" made it past the Hays Office -- that double-entendre's quite single. (Puzzling, too: LEGS sang adequately, but they dubbed her anyway. Life is unfair.) Of course good things like the Freed Unit could not last, and MGM is now nothing more than a Sony brand name, but we can dream of a glorious past, in the forlorn hope that someday it can return.
In the same issue in which THE GLIBERAL does one of the most exquisite imitations of the onset of a stroke in his long and illustrious career, the PUBLIC EDI-TOR says his pitiful pile of newsprint is inadequate to cover the Middle East. I don't care what the LORD GOD PINCH says, you can't rile up the faithful and then turn around and do a humble-pie act. THE PAPER OF RE-CORD once again shows two faces to the world -- both smirking.
span style="font-weight:bold;" /span
span style="font-style:italic;" /span
Hey G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER! It used to be if you wanted italics or boldface, you simply typed a less-than sign, then an i or b, then a greater-than sign, and where you wanted either to end you added a forward-slant before the letter. You don't suppose with all these "font-styles" and "font-weights" and "span-styles" all over the place that might be slowing up your brilliant system? NOOOOOOOOOOOO.
span style="font-style:italic;" /span
Hey G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER! It used to be if you wanted italics or boldface, you simply typed a less-than sign, then an i or b, then a greater-than sign, and where you wanted either to end you added a forward-slant before the letter. You don't suppose with all these "font-styles" and "font-weights" and "span-styles" all over the place that might be slowing up your brilliant system? NOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Terry Teachout may be the best blogger there is. Certainly he is the most cultured. That said, he has these enthusiasms, and this review makes me think he's stumbled onto another one. Reading between the lines I'm thinking this is a boutique musical, and boutique musicals will not bring back the masses for whom humming Broadway tunes was second nature. That he likens RICHARD RODGERS'S GRANDSON (I'm sorry, that's why he's in the biz) to HERR DOKTOR SONDHEIM makes me even more suspicious, especially as Mr. Teachout goes Jell-oish at the knees over THAT genius. It would be nice to think I'm wrong, that this really is a wonderful production, but we've had too many ENTHUSIASMS from ad-blurb copywriters (of whom Mr. Teachout is NOT one) for me to think otherwise.
P. S. Ben Brantley, I sympathize with the idea that a "real human being [should] materialize in a mainstream musical, an environment that has become increasingly hostile to such life forms"; but you must take credit for many of the "singing cartoons and dancing robots that are multiplying on Broadway like flu germs," as you raved some of them.
P. S. Ben Brantley, I sympathize with the idea that a "real human being [should] materialize in a mainstream musical, an environment that has become increasingly hostile to such life forms"; but you must take credit for many of the "singing cartoons and dancing robots that are multiplying on Broadway like flu germs," as you raved some of them.
One wonders if the FIX was in with THE KEYBOARD THROWER when the LALATimes ran that former FREEPwriter's confessional. By then, one suspects, the paper was sure it needed its profit center, but it was equally sure he left a BAD TASTE in lots of people's mouths. A conspiracy theorist might say it was planned; and though it wasn't, it had the advantage of underlining that this zillionaire SCREAMER is NOT a NICE GUY, justifying the editors in their under-the-desk actions.
P. S. An APT conclusion to the AP dispatch on the FREEP's site as it slunk through the dead of night:
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
P. S. An APT conclusion to the AP dispatch on the FREEP's site as it slunk through the dead of night:
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
A NEW ailment in post-common-sense America: BLACKBERRY THUMB!
All so others can eavesdrop on your e-mails.
All so others can eavesdrop on your e-mails.
Hmmm, the SECRETARY OF STATE's called CNN too -- to convince those easily convinced folks it's the SENATORS WHO ARE DOING THE CALLING!
GENERAL's spinning like a top now -- or a SECRETARY OF STATE.
GENERAL's spinning like a top now -- or a SECRETARY OF STATE.
Islamists dominate in final phase of Saudi municipal elections
EXCELLENT news -- and especially because they're CONSERVATIVE.
EXCELLENT news -- and especially because they're CONSERVATIVE.
I question the sincerity of this front page. RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s doing it because he instinctively knows most news hacks now regard 9/11 as a "DISASTER", but this front cover yells into a vacuum, and by screaming EVIL RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! may not be out to show the act was evil, but merely to show others in his "profession" up. It's six of one and half-a-dozen with the other, and they cancel each other out for a big fat ZERO.
They're busted!
US Weekly says it has obtained exclusive photos of Hollywood superstars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enjoying a beach vacation in Africa this week along with her toddler son, Maddox. Two dozen photos of the couple - long the subject of rumors - set off a frenzied international bidding war yesterday.
Us scored the celebrity jackpot by paying what one source estimates was up to a staggering $1 million for the U.S. rights to the pictures, which will appear in the magazine's next issue.
All for a couple of bores at whom millions of readers can throw up their hands in disgust and yell, "WHO CARES?"
US Weekly says it has obtained exclusive photos of Hollywood superstars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enjoying a beach vacation in Africa this week along with her toddler son, Maddox. Two dozen photos of the couple - long the subject of rumors - set off a frenzied international bidding war yesterday.
Us scored the celebrity jackpot by paying what one source estimates was up to a staggering $1 million for the U.S. rights to the pictures, which will appear in the magazine's next issue.
All for a couple of bores at whom millions of readers can throw up their hands in disgust and yell, "WHO CARES?"
Commenting on the misuse of science to support political agendas, Harvard's Dr. Malcolm Ross concludes of such folly, "Freeze or fry, the problem is always industrial capitalism, and the solution is always international socialism."
Unfortunately the opposite is true with con-SER-va-tives: the problem is always international socialism, and the solution is always industrial capitalism. That's one reason we have SNIDELY WHIPLASHES in Congress. And after they're through shaking down big business we get corporate welfare, a GOOD kind of SOCIALISM.
Unfortunately the opposite is true with con-SER-va-tives: the problem is always international socialism, and the solution is always industrial capitalism. That's one reason we have SNIDELY WHIPLASHES in Congress. And after they're through shaking down big business we get corporate welfare, a GOOD kind of SOCIALISM.
We didn't expect anything less than a whitewash, and thank GOD you gave it to us!
Back to COLUMMING, OPRAH'S BOY TOY, and THROWING KEYBOARDS!!!!!
We took into account many factors, including the seriousness of the offense, the importance of our credibility, the history of those involved and Albom's 20 stellar years at the Free Press.
And the fact that BOY TOY's a PROFIT CENTER.
Now SHUT UP and slant the news.
(Thanks to ROMY, for nothing.)
By the way, will the "reporting" run on a SATURDAY too?
Back to COLUMMING, OPRAH'S BOY TOY, and THROWING KEYBOARDS!!!!!
We took into account many factors, including the seriousness of the offense, the importance of our credibility, the history of those involved and Albom's 20 stellar years at the Free Press.
And the fact that BOY TOY's a PROFIT CENTER.
Now SHUT UP and slant the news.
(Thanks to ROMY, for nothing.)
By the way, will the "reporting" run on a SATURDAY too?
Friday, April 22, 2005
Army Clears Top Abu Ghraib Case Officers
Time for the hacks to report again: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
The office of Sen. Carl Levin, D-Mich., top Democrat on the Senate Armed Services Committee, declined to comment on the matter.
Shucks Carl, you missed a golden opportunity to posture.
YES yes, people should be held accountable for what happened there under our command; but think of what SADDAM did there and I'm afraid, HACKS, bad though the pictures looked, there's NO CONTEST.
Time for the hacks to report again: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
The office of Sen. Carl Levin, D-Mich., top Democrat on the Senate Armed Services Committee, declined to comment on the matter.
Shucks Carl, you missed a golden opportunity to posture.
YES yes, people should be held accountable for what happened there under our command; but think of what SADDAM did there and I'm afraid, HACKS, bad though the pictures looked, there's NO CONTEST.
What's the difference between this press release and the typical mad-about-marketing press release in USAOKAY!!!!!? They're both excited about product placements; they're both in raptures over advertising; they both feature the magic word "demographic" as if it had the same effect as the mythical Fountain of Youth. No, I could not tell any difference between this press release and a similar one in USAOKAY!!!!!, which tells me THE PAPER OF RE-CORD may be too far gone to "reform."
A special NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD (the second we've bestowed upon THE LORD GOD PINCH'S BIBLE) to STU, THE VOICE of MADAVE!
A special NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD (the second we've bestowed upon THE LORD GOD PINCH'S BIBLE) to STU, THE VOICE of MADAVE!
Rep. Waxman demands probe of State Department terrorism reports
If his first name were COLIN he'd GET somewhere.
If his first name were COLIN he'd GET somewhere.
Another reason Broadway will be a JUKE-BOX JOINT FOREVER: a show starring the tunes of NEIL SEDAKA!!
OR:
The show was once tentatively titled Stupid Cupid.
I think I can see why they changed it.
OR:
The show was once tentatively titled Stupid Cupid.
I think I can see why they changed it.
NASDAQ gets into the profit-making biz too!
It has a LOT OF CATCHING UP ahead.
The downside is THE REUT has more money to devote to FREEDOM FIGHTERS.
It has a LOT OF CATCHING UP ahead.
The downside is THE REUT has more money to devote to FREEDOM FIGHTERS.
Greil Marcus, the thinking man's critic....
Meaning I guess he gets to use BIG WORDS, and drop the names of PHILOSOPHERS, just like the Hitler expert Ron Rosenbaum.
Meaning I guess he gets to use BIG WORDS, and drop the names of PHILOSOPHERS, just like the Hitler expert Ron Rosenbaum.
China dismisses Japanese apology for war aggression
Between kamikazes and Communism I'd say both countries have something to apologize for.
Between kamikazes and Communism I'd say both countries have something to apologize for.
And here's another of the nice people you hope to meet every day:
I was an intern for Denny Hastert when the Republicans first took over in ‘95, and because Denny was the Chief Deputy Majority whip, he was in the Capitol pretty much all the time with the leadership and its staff while (we) his staff stayed in Rayburn HOB. Well, I can remember on more than one occasion people being on the phone with our seemingly teddy-bearish, behind-the-scenes, now-Speaker, and let me tell you: he could tear people a new one; I witnessed 30-year-old LAs weeping, and I mean shaking, snot-flowing, bawling, at the end of a phone call, or guys looking white after having been eviscerated from across Independence Ave. With all my friends doing similar internships at the time, this seemed standard fare. It's politics for cryin' out loud, and frankly I think this "he said not nice things to me and is a big-meany-stupidhead!" is embarrassing for Democrats and just further emasculates their image. You Rule, Thor! (I figure I just upped my chances of getting posted) [SIC]
I figure you just upped your chances of looking like a complete DWEEB.
I was an intern for Denny Hastert when the Republicans first took over in ‘95, and because Denny was the Chief Deputy Majority whip, he was in the Capitol pretty much all the time with the leadership and its staff while (we) his staff stayed in Rayburn HOB. Well, I can remember on more than one occasion people being on the phone with our seemingly teddy-bearish, behind-the-scenes, now-Speaker, and let me tell you: he could tear people a new one; I witnessed 30-year-old LAs weeping, and I mean shaking, snot-flowing, bawling, at the end of a phone call, or guys looking white after having been eviscerated from across Independence Ave. With all my friends doing similar internships at the time, this seemed standard fare. It's politics for cryin' out loud, and frankly I think this "he said not nice things to me and is a big-meany-stupidhead!" is embarrassing for Democrats and just further emasculates their image. You Rule, Thor! (I figure I just upped my chances of getting posted) [SIC]
I figure you just upped your chances of looking like a complete DWEEB.
THE OPRAH SIDE OF THE BOY TOY:
[T]he stories about Albom's bad behavior, particularly to underlings, are legion. For example, Lessenberry says one of his students quit an internship at WJR radio after Albom threw a computer keyboard at her.
Art Regner, co-host of a sports talk show on WXYT-AM, experienced Albom's wrath firsthand.
"I remember one time when I was his producer, he was unhappy with the way something had gone," Regner says. "Even if they were upset, most people would have a few words and that would be it. But Mitch — Mitch screamed and screamed. It was a major tantrum."
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, isn't that SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET?
'BYE MITCH!
[T]he stories about Albom's bad behavior, particularly to underlings, are legion. For example, Lessenberry says one of his students quit an internship at WJR radio after Albom threw a computer keyboard at her.
Art Regner, co-host of a sports talk show on WXYT-AM, experienced Albom's wrath firsthand.
"I remember one time when I was his producer, he was unhappy with the way something had gone," Regner says. "Even if they were upset, most people would have a few words and that would be it. But Mitch — Mitch screamed and screamed. It was a major tantrum."
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, isn't that SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET?
'BYE MITCH!
Belo Corp. said Thursday that upcoming Audit Bureau of Circulation figures will show that its flagship Dallas Morning News will take a circulation hit of about 13% on Sundays and 9% on other days, for the most recent six-month period.
This will happen when you're BETTER THAN YOUR READERS.
The sad thing is the ones who'll be laid off will be the harmless people -- the clerks, the delivery folks. The people who got these papers into this mess WILL NOT BE TOUCHED.
This will happen when you're BETTER THAN YOUR READERS.
The sad thing is the ones who'll be laid off will be the harmless people -- the clerks, the delivery folks. The people who got these papers into this mess WILL NOT BE TOUCHED.
IS the end in sight for the juke box musical, that cynically motivated, artistically bank rupt [SIC] subspecies of musical theater that's threatening to destroy Broadway?
No, because I have MORE ideas for the kind of shows that will drive you NUTS! As in:
SATURDAY IN THE PARK: THE CHICAGO® MUSICAL. The boomers' LAWRENCE A-WELK is sure to please as every one of their MUZAK-INSPIRED faux-jazz creations weaves a spell around the listeners -- and their wallets!
XANADU!!!!! THE ELO® MUSICAL. What could be better than raising this turkey from the dead, perhaps as an "ironic" commentary of the disco trade -- and getting some perky face to play Olivia Newton-John? I don't know about Gene Kelly. They may have to raise him from the dead. Aw, get an AudioAnimatronics figure. The vast audiences who'll attend won't notice.
I haven't even mentioned HALLOWEEN: THE KISS® MUSICAL!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
No, because I have MORE ideas for the kind of shows that will drive you NUTS! As in:
SATURDAY IN THE PARK: THE CHICAGO® MUSICAL. The boomers' LAWRENCE A-WELK is sure to please as every one of their MUZAK-INSPIRED faux-jazz creations weaves a spell around the listeners -- and their wallets!
XANADU!!!!! THE ELO® MUSICAL. What could be better than raising this turkey from the dead, perhaps as an "ironic" commentary of the disco trade -- and getting some perky face to play Olivia Newton-John? I don't know about Gene Kelly. They may have to raise him from the dead. Aw, get an AudioAnimatronics figure. The vast audiences who'll attend won't notice.
I haven't even mentioned HALLOWEEN: THE KISS® MUSICAL!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
OH oh PINCH, ST., ya got TROUBLE: SEN. McPAIN said something nice about him -- FOR NOW.
Think we can work on him with the promise of HEADLINES TO COME?
Think we can work on him with the promise of HEADLINES TO COME?
USAOKAY!!!!! BEGINS ITS TWO-MONTHS-LONG CAMPAIGN FOR NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR!!!!!
If this isn't a case for people to stop reading papers there is none.
But you forgot to mention JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP. They may dock you an hour's pay.
If this isn't a case for people to stop reading papers there is none.
But you forgot to mention JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP. They may dock you an hour's pay.
One last story from the ST.:
Older Riders Add to Rise In Motorcycle Fatalities
Boomers never will grow up.
Older Riders Add to Rise In Motorcycle Fatalities
Boomers never will grow up.
And speaking of the WAPOST, the Secretary of State's talking to IT TOO!
...a behind-the-scenes player in the battle over John R. Bolton's nomination as ambassador to the United Nations, privately telling at least two key Republican lawmakers...
with a MEGAPHONE attached to a MICROPHONE attached to a 5,000-WATT SOUND SYSTEM attached to a 100,000-WATT SOUND SYSTEM. Some privacy.
Why don't you campaign for KOFI's job, Mr. Secretary? Then you could compromise and bloviate to your heart's content -- and maybe win a NOBEL PRIZE!
Next time, WAPOST, can't you increase the font size on your hed? As in --
POWELL PLAYING QUIET ROLE IN BOLTON BATTLE
...a behind-the-scenes player in the battle over John R. Bolton's nomination as ambassador to the United Nations, privately telling at least two key Republican lawmakers...
with a MEGAPHONE attached to a MICROPHONE attached to a 5,000-WATT SOUND SYSTEM attached to a 100,000-WATT SOUND SYSTEM. Some privacy.
Why don't you campaign for KOFI's job, Mr. Secretary? Then you could compromise and bloviate to your heart's content -- and maybe win a NOBEL PRIZE!
Next time, WAPOST, can't you increase the font size on your hed? As in --
POWELL PLAYING QUIET ROLE IN BOLTON BATTLE
Thursday, April 21, 2005
And a big THANKS to G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER for turning twenty minutes of downtime into a half hour INTO AN HOUR-AND-THREE-QUARTERS. That it wasn't the THREE HOURS you threatened may not count as a plus in our book.
G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER and WEBLOGS.COM (which has apparently ALSO gone the RANDOM route) may deprive me of hits, but I will keep this blog running no matter what. I may as well entertain SOMEBODY, and I guess the SOMEBODY will be ME.
Toenail.com's incredibly verbose movie-ad-blurb copywriter engages in what he supposes to be satire over the idea that his ilk can be bought. But as THE THUMBS-UP BROTHERS' RESUMES and SALARIES have proved, they got bought LONG AGO.
Maybe the fact that the ChiTrib is putting this commentary at the top of its home page says the hacks went too far with the Pope.
Or, as is more likely, it just says they had to put it somewhere.
Or, as is more likely, it just says they had to put it somewhere.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYBODY OUT THERE?????
THE BRAINS BEHIND BLACKMUN [Jonathan H. Adler]
Historian David Garrow's article alleging Justice Blackmun relied too much on his clerks in deciding cases has sparked a little firestorm. The Volokh Conspirators comment here.
Posted at 08:02 AM
Oh, NO! You've unleashed a deluge of WORDS!!!!!
P. S. I read the article. Do we REALLY expect the NINE FINGERS to know what they're doing? And in a world of LORD KOPPELS and Congresspoops with 500 assistants, do we REALLY expect them to do it themselves?
Historian David Garrow's article alleging Justice Blackmun relied too much on his clerks in deciding cases has sparked a little firestorm. The Volokh Conspirators comment here.
Posted at 08:02 AM
Oh, NO! You've unleashed a deluge of WORDS!!!!!
P. S. I read the article. Do we REALLY expect the NINE FINGERS to know what they're doing? And in a world of LORD KOPPELS and Congresspoops with 500 assistants, do we REALLY expect them to do it themselves?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYBODY OUT THERE?????
The world according to Topix.com:
Business News
That Was No Lady, That Was a Bank Robber
AT&T Corp., which has agreed to be acquired by SBC Communications Inc., said Thursday that first-quarter profit rose 59%, aided by continued cost cuts and a key...
This is co-owned by KnightRidder and GanNETt, nuf said.
Business News
That Was No Lady, That Was a Bank Robber
AT&T Corp., which has agreed to be acquired by SBC Communications Inc., said Thursday that first-quarter profit rose 59%, aided by continued cost cuts and a key...
This is co-owned by KnightRidder and GanNETt, nuf said.
Q. What are the colors of the League of Nations' flag?
A. Sky blue -- and WHITEWASH!
Another story our CW HACKS WILL NOT REPORT.
A. Sky blue -- and WHITEWASH!
Another story our CW HACKS WILL NOT REPORT.
And it appears LIBERALS and NEWS HACKS aren't the ONLY ONES SCREAMING about the POPE:
"They'd never say so, but I think news executives are a bit disappointed that the selection of the new pope was completed so quickly," says Jack Myers, a media analyst and editor of The Jack Myers Report. "There wasn't much time for drama to build. It's a story that would have generated ongoing coverage and sent people to their TVs every time smoke was coming out of that chimney."
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWELL!
"They'd never say so, but I think news executives are a bit disappointed that the selection of the new pope was completed so quickly," says Jack Myers, a media analyst and editor of The Jack Myers Report. "There wasn't much time for drama to build. It's a story that would have generated ongoing coverage and sent people to their TVs every time smoke was coming out of that chimney."
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWELL!
FEDEX's CEO spent $2 million dollars so he could say, "I WAS AT THE SUPER BOWL AND YOU WEREN'T!" -- and so he could be INVESTIGATED BY THE FTC!
Looks like YOU got a LITTLE MORE than you PAID FOR!
Looks like YOU got a LITTLE MORE than you PAID FOR!
Men have become the tools of their tools....
I will NEVER own ANY type of cell phone, for the expense, the potential for fraud and embarrassment -- and their total USELESSNESS.
I will NEVER own ANY type of cell phone, for the expense, the potential for fraud and embarrassment -- and their total USELESSNESS.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
IMPORTANT THOUGHTS on the CORNER:
YOU CAN TELL SEAN HANNITY'S NOT A BLOGGER [K. J. Lopez]
or his first question to Denny Hastert would have been, what did DeLay mean about research on the Internet? What's wrong with that? Huh? HUH! Tell us, Mr. Speaker.
Posted at 05:20 PM
No, but HUGH is. ASK THE QUESTION, HUGH!
YOU CAN TELL SEAN HANNITY'S NOT A BLOGGER [K. J. Lopez]
or his first question to Denny Hastert would have been, what did DeLay mean about research on the Internet? What's wrong with that? Huh? HUH! Tell us, Mr. Speaker.
Posted at 05:20 PM
No, but HUGH is. ASK THE QUESTION, HUGH!
RICHARD J. DALEY OPPOSED THE VIETNAM WAR, THUS BECOMING -- A POSTHUMOUS HERO!!!!!
He's still the FRANK RIZZO of CHICAGO.
He's still the FRANK RIZZO of CHICAGO.
The New York Stock Exchange will merge with Archipelago Holdings Inc., an electronic trading company, becoming a for profit enterprise, the exchange announced Wednesday.
What's the diff? Wasn't the NYSE always for profit -- especially under DICK "Spread the Wealth with No One" GRASSO?
What's the diff? Wasn't the NYSE always for profit -- especially under DICK "Spread the Wealth with No One" GRASSO?
RATZ!
*Correction, April 20, 2005: The original version of the article incorrectly identified Robert Drinan as being affiliated with Boston College. Drinan is a faculty member at Georgetown University Law Center.
Was Mr. Drinan's party affiliation lost in the translation as well?
ST. WARREN'S cherubim are at least as incompetent in the Internet world as in the PRINT world.
*Correction, April 20, 2005: The original version of the article incorrectly identified Robert Drinan as being affiliated with Boston College. Drinan is a faculty member at Georgetown University Law Center.
Was Mr. Drinan's party affiliation lost in the translation as well?
ST. WARREN'S cherubim are at least as incompetent in the Internet world as in the PRINT world.
More WISDOM from ROMY'S LETTERS PAGE:
4/20/2005 4:24:20 PM
From GEORGE R. ZACHAR: The philosophical bind of modern newspapers does go back to the famous "afflict the comfortable" Dunne slogan. Dunne never anticipated that the ranks of the comfortable would swell, becoming the bulk of newspapers' readership.
Modern scribes (and publishers and editors) have yet to figure out that afflicting their customers is bad for business.
Actually, they have. That's why the afflict the afflicted (i.e., the private tragedies of Mort Zuck's NOO YAWK DAILY NOOZ) and comfort the comfortable (i.e., LEGENDARY WELCH).
4/20/2005 4:24:20 PM
From GEORGE R. ZACHAR: The philosophical bind of modern newspapers does go back to the famous "afflict the comfortable" Dunne slogan. Dunne never anticipated that the ranks of the comfortable would swell, becoming the bulk of newspapers' readership.
Modern scribes (and publishers and editors) have yet to figure out that afflicting their customers is bad for business.
Actually, they have. That's why the afflict the afflicted (i.e., the private tragedies of Mort Zuck's NOO YAWK DAILY NOOZ) and comfort the comfortable (i.e., LEGENDARY WELCH).
Now, if the networks are looking for ways to re-energize their news, the formula may be as simple as taking a page from the "60 Minutes" book and offering some audacious commentary.
Geezer Hewitt, the problem is the networks offer INAUDACIOUS COMMENTARY.
Geezer Hewitt, the problem is the networks offer INAUDACIOUS COMMENTARY.
GEEKS!
All six chapters of George Lucas' science-fiction saga — including the final one, “Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith” — will screen in a daylong marathon May 16 at London's Leicester Square.
About 1,000 tickets will go on sale Monday morning for the marathon....
1,000 TICKETS? Baloney! The new Pope's got NOTHING on DWEEBS with a CAUSE. GO FOR IT! MAKE THIS A MOMENT of EARTH-SHATTERING HISTORY! And after you DO THAT,
GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All six chapters of George Lucas' science-fiction saga — including the final one, “Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith” — will screen in a daylong marathon May 16 at London's Leicester Square.
About 1,000 tickets will go on sale Monday morning for the marathon....
1,000 TICKETS? Baloney! The new Pope's got NOTHING on DWEEBS with a CAUSE. GO FOR IT! MAKE THIS A MOMENT of EARTH-SHATTERING HISTORY! And after you DO THAT,
GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
New pope suffered 1991 brain hemorrhage
I have no doubt Benedict XVI is a good man (more so now that the HACKS are calling him a NAZI), but even if he was John Paul's right hand you have to wonder if the College of Cardinals chose all that wisely.
I have no doubt Benedict XVI is a good man (more so now that the HACKS are calling him a NAZI), but even if he was John Paul's right hand you have to wonder if the College of Cardinals chose all that wisely.
The bodies of more than 50 people have been recovered from the Tigris River and have been identified, President Jalal Talabani said Wednesday. The bodies were believed to have been those of hostages seized in the Madain region earlier this month.
50 bodies = 2 American soldiers, so this does not matter, UNLESS AMERICANS KILLED THEM, or something.
50 bodies = 2 American soldiers, so this does not matter, UNLESS AMERICANS KILLED THEM, or something.
BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH:
The impending move of "Monday Night Football" from ABC to ESPN provides a sharp reminder that the millions of viewers who can't afford cable or satellite TV are increasingly outcasts in the television world.
Bull. Think of it this way: Monday Night Football is moving to Sunday nights on GE Bancorp Network; Sunday Night Monday Night Football is moving to Monday nights on ESPN. The real losers are at ESPNCORP, who are paying a fortune more for a diminished property. The Super Bowl will stay on the free air for as long as the eye can see so that HACKS like YOU can PLUG THE ADS.
But then the same INTELLECTUAL GIANTS who told us ESPNCORP's act was a STROKE OF GENIUS are the SAME IDIOTS who are telling us the new Pope's a NAZI. They'll say anything; we'll believe nothing.
The impending move of "Monday Night Football" from ABC to ESPN provides a sharp reminder that the millions of viewers who can't afford cable or satellite TV are increasingly outcasts in the television world.
Bull. Think of it this way: Monday Night Football is moving to Sunday nights on GE Bancorp Network; Sunday Night Monday Night Football is moving to Monday nights on ESPN. The real losers are at ESPNCORP, who are paying a fortune more for a diminished property. The Super Bowl will stay on the free air for as long as the eye can see so that HACKS like YOU can PLUG THE ADS.
But then the same INTELLECTUAL GIANTS who told us ESPNCORP's act was a STROKE OF GENIUS are the SAME IDIOTS who are telling us the new Pope's a NAZI. They'll say anything; we'll believe nothing.
Overall, though, Americans don’t like their TV. Sixty-six percent said entertainment TV shows are worse than five years ago, and only 24% found them better, a pattern in line with previous surveys in 1983 and 1993.
Hey ADVERTISERS!!!!! WE'VE GOT THE SOLUTION!!!!!
MORE MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not all the dissatisfaction was directed at sexual content; the study reported 33% are bothered “a lot” by homosexual characters or themes. Meanwhile, 46% are bothered by references or depictions of drug use, and 38% by reality shows that make fun of or trick people.
MORE MONEY!!!!!!!!
Hey ADVERTISERS!!!!! WE'VE GOT THE SOLUTION!!!!!
MORE MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not all the dissatisfaction was directed at sexual content; the study reported 33% are bothered “a lot” by homosexual characters or themes. Meanwhile, 46% are bothered by references or depictions of drug use, and 38% by reality shows that make fun of or trick people.
MORE MONEY!!!!!!!!
Jacques Rogge, president of the International Olympic Committee (IOC), today issued a strong warning to the five cities competing to stage the 2012 Games not to become involved in a "bidding war".
No, NO! Build those Taj Mahals! Make promises you can't keep! Empty your coffers! These are the GE BANCORP GAMES, and you'll LIVE IN HISTORY WITH THEM FOREVER!!!!!
No, NO! Build those Taj Mahals! Make promises you can't keep! Empty your coffers! These are the GE BANCORP GAMES, and you'll LIVE IN HISTORY WITH THEM FOREVER!!!!!
Another achievement from the world of the shrinks:
Each year, hundreds of thousands of couples go into counseling in an effort to save their troubled relationships.
But does marital therapy work? Not nearly as well as it should, researchers say. Two years after ending counseling, studies find, 25 percent of couples are worse off than they were when they started, and after four years, up to 38 percent are divorced.
How should we know any variation of talking on a couch to someone with a pencil and pad may not work? LOOK AT WOODSTER THE PERV. But then he was ALWAYS a GENIUS.
Each year, hundreds of thousands of couples go into counseling in an effort to save their troubled relationships.
But does marital therapy work? Not nearly as well as it should, researchers say. Two years after ending counseling, studies find, 25 percent of couples are worse off than they were when they started, and after four years, up to 38 percent are divorced.
How should we know any variation of talking on a couch to someone with a pencil and pad may not work? LOOK AT WOODSTER THE PERV. But then he was ALWAYS a GENIUS.
ROMY shakes his head again:
In one of Oliver Sacks's books, he describes watching a group of people with different neurologic deficits watching the Great Communicator deliver a speech on television. The entire group was laughing, he said: those with aphasia could tell by his body language that he was being insincere; those with a condition that didn't allow them to understand nuance and body language but could understand only his words could parse his insincerity. (In the interests of bipartisanship, the same example would have held true for many, many Bill Clinton speeches.)
Who's interested in being bipartisan, Glenny? Not news hacks.
Glenn Fleishman is a freelance reporter who writes for The New York Times....
Definitely not bipartisan.
In one of Oliver Sacks's books, he describes watching a group of people with different neurologic deficits watching the Great Communicator deliver a speech on television. The entire group was laughing, he said: those with aphasia could tell by his body language that he was being insincere; those with a condition that didn't allow them to understand nuance and body language but could understand only his words could parse his insincerity. (In the interests of bipartisanship, the same example would have held true for many, many Bill Clinton speeches.)
Who's interested in being bipartisan, Glenny? Not news hacks.
Glenn Fleishman is a freelance reporter who writes for The New York Times....
Definitely not bipartisan.
The more I think of what HOWIE HAIRSHIRT said the other day the more I think NEWS HACKS DESERVE to be HARANGUED. Their ability to get their way rivals the SUN KING's. Indeed they have an advantage he didn't: they're monarchs, court jesters and FAWNING COURTIERS in one. It's about time we put these TYRANTS of the KEYBOARD in their PLACE.
And when will the hacks learn the Pope is NOT the president of the United States and NO, you CAN'T UNELECT HIM?
Just think if somebody did a critical story on YOU, REUT. Not that it would EVER happen.
Clearly the HACKS don't like him. Well we'll be unbending and say WE DON'T LIKE YOU.
Just think if somebody did a critical story on YOU, REUT. Not that it would EVER happen.
Clearly the HACKS don't like him. Well we'll be unbending and say WE DON'T LIKE YOU.
The Pope hasn't warmed his throne and some hacks have taken a "poll."
At least Catholics have their conscience. If all we could rely on was polls we'd be in a sorry state indeed.
At least Catholics have their conscience. If all we could rely on was polls we'd be in a sorry state indeed.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
There HAS to be an alternative to WEBLOGS. It's DOWN again, and that's one reason I'M GETTING NO HITS.
HEY MOUNTAIN VIEW KADIDDLEHOPPPERS -- WHY DON'T YOU BUY IT?
(Although the last three weeks I haven't had reason to complain.)
HEY MOUNTAIN VIEW KADIDDLEHOPPPERS -- WHY DON'T YOU BUY IT?
(Although the last three weeks I haven't had reason to complain.)
Study finds government overstated danger of obesity
And how many times have YOU gone into CRISIS MODE, oh SONS of SOB?
And how many times have YOU gone into CRISIS MODE, oh SONS of SOB?
How do you play "Taps" in SURFER MUSIC?
I wish I could say "NEXT" with the ELVIS INFATUATORS, but apparently that show's become a TOURIST TRAP, much like the KING'S SHOWS.
I wish I could say "NEXT" with the ELVIS INFATUATORS, but apparently that show's become a TOURIST TRAP, much like the KING'S SHOWS.
Overheard on the el, re Mike Tyson:
That man don't have issues, he have problems.
Can't argue with that.
That man don't have issues, he have problems.
Can't argue with that.
Oh shut up, LAWD PUTTNAM. I seem to recall when you were working for Columbia Pictures (in the days Coke owned it -- remember those?) you were producing a film about a talking penis. Nothing ever came of it, but even so it's reason enough for you to keep your BOUCHE FERMEZED when it comes to VIOLENCE or MORALS or ANYTHING ELSE.
OR:
The problem with pinning down Puttnam, though, is that what he says is very seldom what he means. His former boss at Columbia Pictures, Fay Vincent, says that David has no qualms about deceiving, proceeding to detail how Puttnam's compulsive lying led to a series of corporate embarrassments that ultimately resulted in his removal from the studio after just over a year into a three-year contract. It's clear that Puttnam, despite Andrew Yule's insistence on painting him as a flawed man of vision, is an almost universally despised and wholly insufferable egoist who got lucky on a couple of long shots, did a good dead [SIC] by introducing the world to director William Forsythe (Local Hero, Housekeeping), and made countless bad decisions as the head of a major movie studio that seem to suggest the road to hell (and bad cinema) is paved with good intentions.
Keeping in mind that people in the SHOW-BIZ MAFIA will form grudges at the drop of a hat, and keeping in mind it's FAY VINCENT (who's STILL ticked he's not COMMISH), it's something to keep in mind.
OR:
The problem with pinning down Puttnam, though, is that what he says is very seldom what he means. His former boss at Columbia Pictures, Fay Vincent, says that David has no qualms about deceiving, proceeding to detail how Puttnam's compulsive lying led to a series of corporate embarrassments that ultimately resulted in his removal from the studio after just over a year into a three-year contract. It's clear that Puttnam, despite Andrew Yule's insistence on painting him as a flawed man of vision, is an almost universally despised and wholly insufferable egoist who got lucky on a couple of long shots, did a good dead [SIC] by introducing the world to director William Forsythe (Local Hero, Housekeeping), and made countless bad decisions as the head of a major movie studio that seem to suggest the road to hell (and bad cinema) is paved with good intentions.
Keeping in mind that people in the SHOW-BIZ MAFIA will form grudges at the drop of a hat, and keeping in mind it's FAY VINCENT (who's STILL ticked he's not COMMISH), it's something to keep in mind.