Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Monday, March 31, 2008
Posted
3:19 PM
by Gene
Oh, you're not a mayor? Heck next time ya come to the White House I'll call ya governor. Sorta like me. Get it?
Posted
8:49 AM
by Gene
There's just one little problem.... (Via the usual Romy)
Posted
8:35 AM
by Gene
We would further note that the Lord made His first appearance at said same theater seven years ago, and He looked like Mel Brooks. Either God has changed sexes or Ben Brantley, as usual, doesn't know what he's talking about, and doesn't know very effortlessly.
Posted
8:23 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:15 AM
by Gene
(Via MediaBistro) Sunday, March 30, 2008
Posted
7:46 PM
by Gene
And are any of these things that important even to the fans?
Posted
7:41 PM
by Gene
Here in the proverbial nutshell is why we can't trust most ad-blurbists, and why we don't need movies. Trailers would seem to do.
Posted
6:10 PM
by Gene
Strike! STRIKE! Strike as long and hard and painfully as the Fantasy and Profanity League! Strike long and hard and painfully enough to ruin the business!
Posted
9:28 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:22 AM
by Gene
Let us hope that, unlike what often happens in Africa, they're not merely about to replace one kind of megalomaniacal corruption with another.
Posted
9:21 AM
by Gene
...is the same as Washington's old Pakistan problem, only different.
Posted
9:20 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:14 AM
by Gene
Easily. Meantime an alleged 115,300 saw a game at the LALA Coliseum, and between that and the bricks and mortar at Yankee Stadium and Shea Stadium going for trillions we wonder Zelig gets any sleep. Well, we will -- at World Series time, when we avoid another one. Saturday, March 29, 2008
Posted
5:16 PM
by Gene
The Messiah's running for president! Is that first name really so reassuring?
Posted
5:05 PM
by Gene
One King. Six Wives. Many, Many Beds. If you like family dramas, 'The Tudors' is the best-dressed--and undressed--place on television. Teacher Sex Scandals Alarm Fla. (In smaller type below the lightbox) Sorry Jonny -- you may think we don't notice, you may hope we don't notice. WE NOTICE. A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO JOSHUA!!!!!
Posted
12:18 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:13 AM
by Gene
![]() The first thought is to dismiss these two folks as flat-earth conspiracy-theorizing cranks, but their lawsuit points to something uncomfortable: the Bunsen Honeydews still believe in the back of their superbrains in Progress as the Most Important Product, in Better Living Through Chemistry, and all that jazz, and they refuse somehow to see some of the wonders their superbrains have unleashed, from the a-bomb to Love Canal. Indeed before the Manhattan Project's first experimental explosion the Bunsens figured there was a slight -- now, to be sure, below the absolute lowest level of possibility, but still slight -- chance their kaboom could create an uncontrolled chain reaction that would blow the whole universe to smithereens, and while we realize the chance of these Bunsens creating an earth-gobbling black hole is slight, very slight, extremely slight, their wonders have put the fear of God into our heads, and we can only hope His invisible hand keeps everything right.
Posted
10:06 AM
by Gene
Why not sell it on eBay? Or donate it to the Smithsonian? At least the former might do someone some good. As to the latter, we don't want to guess how many pieces of junk The World's Greatest Attic holds, but what is one more? Certainly it holds a lot of "historical" remnants that mean nothing to anyone. And as The Great Accidental Musical, The Masterpiece the Paper of Re-CORD Made, closes down for the last time ever (until someone makes the mistake of reviving it, and a Paper of Re-CORD ad-blurbist showily admits it's an overrated relic), we can be sure it will never again mean anything to anyone, and all those star-studded scribbles will never occasion more than a puzzled stare -- or total indifference. Friday, March 28, 2008
Posted
8:18 AM
by Gene
New York Times | Washington Post "The channel that's on now -- while excellent, and I plan to be a lifetime viewer -- is not the channel that I signed up to do," says Dave Marash. The former ABC "Nightline" correspondent, who was Al Jazeera's Washington-based anchor for two years, says he sensed an anti-American sensibility creeping into the network's coverage. || Earlier: Marash promises Al Jazeera English won't be al-Jazeera. Posted at 7:42:28 AM
Amazing how millionaire news hacks are always among the first to be born yesterday. Thursday, March 27, 2008
Posted
6:08 PM
by Gene
While he seemed to have weathered the storm so far, the poll said most voters aware of the sermons were offended by them. What does this MEAN, o rare Pe-EW?
Posted
5:25 PM
by Gene
How interesting, too: One of the parties that settled is Reed Elsevier, which just got out of the PR -- NEWS biz.
Posted
5:18 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:14 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:09 PM
by Gene
ANOTHER NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO "NON" GERMAIN!
Posted
5:08 PM
by Gene
WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Federal Reserve has said big investment firms averaged $32.9 billion in daily borrowing over the past week from the Fed's new emergency lending facility. SOCIALISM WORKS!
Posted
5:06 PM
by Gene
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Posted
7:41 PM
by Gene
P. S. The ad-blurbists will point to this possible defense: Rotten Tomatoes only has comprehensive coverage for recent movies.... Meaning yesterday's turkeys may be overlooked. And surely there were many bad pictures in the golden age -- how could there not be with "studios" like Republic and Monogram? But these days it's almost a competition to see who can make the worst possible picture, and there are too many winners.
Posted
5:47 PM
by Gene
And one of them wouldn't be DR. WIRETAP, would it? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Posted
5:44 PM
by Gene
We will not speak now and will forever hold our peace, though the temptation be unrelenting.
Posted
5:41 PM
by Gene
Police hunt man who made boys fight on YouTube
Posted
5:38 PM
by Gene
Does that include Your preacher man? Of course not!
Posted
5:36 PM
by Gene
And how often have the patients died?
Posted
5:34 PM
by Gene
During his career of almost 50 years, Mr. Riney developed advertising around the notion that understatement sold better than overstatement, and any conclusions about a product were better left to the audience. He also pushed against advertising that was intrusive or insulting, and he wasn't ashamed of ads that made people laugh or cry. And given the recent history of MadAve we'd say, alas, he has virtually no influence today.
Posted
5:27 PM
by Gene
Which, if we know MILITANTS, will cause another justifiable mass homicide, and lots of chicken "leaders" to look the other way.
Posted
1:23 PM
by Gene
WASHINGTON (AP) -- U.S. and South Korean foreign ministers say patience is running out over North Korea's failure to hand over a promised declaration of nuclear efforts. If we know the parties there's more patience where that came from!
Posted
8:10 AM
by Gene
And MediaBistro hedded it unchanged -- and even italicized it! Someone rouse Lord Koppel from his torpor and alert him to a grave injustice! Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Posted
8:50 PM
by Gene
Posted
8:44 PM
by Gene
Jaguar sold to makers of the world's cheapest car Cheaper than Ford?
Posted
8:14 PM
by Gene
Now we feel sorry for those who may have bought into this outfit at, say $90 a share -- or even at $35 or $40, thinking maybe a sale would save it. But we can think of few companies more deserving of economic RUIN than this one, which turned radio into the world's biggest car dealer while padding out the sales pitches with the vilest most overexposed three tunes imaginable. Well, people don't want to listen to that kind of radio anymore.
Posted
2:44 PM
by Gene
FORMER FIRST LADY NANCY REAGAN WILL ENDORSE PRESIDENTIAL HOPEFUL SEN. JOHN MCCAIN TONIGHT IN LOS ANGELES WOW IN ALL CAPITALS!!!!!
Posted
2:33 PM
by Gene
The strike wasn't long enough, by years. (Via the usual ArtsJournal)
Posted
2:31 PM
by Gene
Good luck!
Posted
2:26 PM
by Gene
WASHINGTON (AP) -- Trustees report that Social Security and Medicare face enormous financial challenges and that the threat to Medicare's solvency is especially severe. Who would have GUESSED?
Posted
1:30 PM
by Gene
We would never have bought, unless we were a Cubbies fan.
Posted
1:16 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:11 PM
by Gene
And when John and the Nine Fingers refuse to hear an appeal, will there be rejoicing in the con-SER-va-tive and free-en-ter-prise sections of Heaven! I guess they have wings.
Posted
1:08 PM
by Gene
What makes this firm so willing to think it can bait the public with its incompetence?
Posted
1:06 PM
by Gene
Yes: He can (and will) unify liberals. Whether He can unify the people is another matter. We suspect having Rev. GDA on your side makes it easier for the former, harder for the latter.
Posted
1:05 PM
by Gene
Monday, March 24, 2008
Posted
10:33 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:30 PM
by Gene
Is it me or are these epidemics getting more showoffy -- as though someone copied them from a movie? Ah, but movies don't cause crime, GUNS do.
Posted
10:15 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:08 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:54 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:55 PM
by Gene
At least 17 colleges and universities have accepted grants from the BB&T Charitable Foundation that stipulate that Ayn Rand’s novel Atlas Shrugged must be required reading in at least one course, The Charlotte Observer reported. I want to hear the same con-SER-va-tives who complain about kolleegiate brainwashing criticize this scheme.
Posted
1:03 PM
by Gene
(Via NRO)
Posted
11:23 AM
by Gene
![]() ALTRIA (which is switching back to its old name of Philip Morris -- and offshoring to Switzerland, to "insulate itself" from lawyers, clever thinking) is about to introduce its leading cancer sticks in the future WORLD'S #1 ECONOMY, it sez here: [T]he real growth is to be found overseas. While Philip Morris International is already the biggest on the planet, incoming chief operating officer Calantzopoulos said it has barely cracked four of the world's largest markets: India, China, Vietnam and Bangladesh, which together account for an estimated 2.3 trillion cigarettes per year. [COUGH! COUGHHHHHH!!!!!] "These markets, which account for some 40% of total international cigarette consumption, represent clear opportunities for further growth in the mid to long-term," he said. [And population control besides!] It will take a while, he said, but the company has finalized plans to launch a licensed Marlboro in China this summer via a joint venture with the China National Tobacco Company. That entity contributes more than 10% of the Chinese government's income while representing some 20 million farmers and is a potent political force, Camilleri said. "China takes time. Going head-to-head with the CNTC isn't going to get you anywhere." So you mean the Chinese couldn't oppress their own people and stage the GAMES without ciggies? That's some deal!
Posted
10:12 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:55 AM
by Gene
The WFP, the United Nations agency responsible for relieving hunger.... (Emphasis added) NO COMMENT.
Posted
8:48 AM
by Gene
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO BECKY!
Posted
8:17 AM
by Gene
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Posted
4:41 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:41 PM
by Gene
That is sheer unmitigated buncombe: The main responsibility of this GE BANCORP subsidiary is to deliver the best possible Games to the SPONSORS, who DON'T deserve it.
Posted
11:43 AM
by Gene
![]() An Architect With a Taste for Change "Philip Johnson: Architecture as Art" showcases late designs, including a Mexican children's museum whose strange form recalls 1920s German expressionism. Or maybe it recalls a pile of kiddie building blocks painted white and selling to a client for millions.
Posted
11:25 AM
by Gene
The enlargement of the judiciary's role by the regulatory state requires compensation of the judiciary commensurate with its ever-expanding importance. That importance, although regrettable, is a fact, and so is this: You get the quality -- and the perspective -- you pay for. Given some colyumnists' salaries we will merely say NO COMMENT.
Posted
11:22 AM
by Gene
Endangered Listings Drop Under Bush Meaning of course he's helping big business (which has turned so PC we wonder if IT would approve); but under President Messiah sparrows and pigeons would be protected species. Can't anybody do anything for mere RIGHT?
Posted
11:17 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:12 AM
by Gene
Meantime we're getting the usual down-the-middle-left-right-let's-no-one-agree-about-anything split as to whether the financial markets need more regulation. One thing's clear: something caused Babbitts and the Casino dealers to go nuts, and it most likely wasn't regulation.
Posted
11:06 AM
by Gene
The next thing you know she'll complain about her taxes, assuming she pays any. To paraphrase Liberace, go cry all the way to the bank. Saturday, March 22, 2008
Posted
5:47 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:34 PM
by Gene
(Via Contentions)
Posted
5:22 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:21 PM
by Gene
That, if anything, is an understatement.
Posted
1:48 PM
by Gene
When we don't get plugs we get insider baseball. Does anything stink more intensely than show-biz nooz?
Posted
1:38 PM
by Gene
"INSTEAD OF BUILDING BARRACKS IN IRAQ, WE COULD BE HELPING MILLIONS OF AMERICANS AVOID LOSING THEIR HOMES TO FORECLOSURE!!!" he said. "INSTEAD OF POLICING THE STREETS OF BAGHDAD, WE COULD BE INVESTING IN UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE AND A BETTER EDUCATION SYSTEM!!!!!" (Overemphasis added) Hey Bobby, we'll need better health care -- after a few dirty bombs.
Posted
1:18 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:55 AM
by Gene
Open your mouth, Rev! Pfffffffffffffffft!
Posted
9:41 AM
by Gene
NUF SAID. Friday, March 21, 2008
Posted
7:28 PM
by Gene
Well if not let's make it a crime, right Romy?
Posted
5:44 PM
by Gene
Er, Kofi, aren't you well down the list on people who should say that? Or is this your idea of a mea culpa?
Posted
5:37 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:36 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:27 PM
by Gene
Well that's easy enough; isn't he one of her constituents? Pfffffffffffffffft!
Posted
1:21 PM
by Gene
You want to be "editor"-in-chief, NIK? (Via ArtsJournal)
Posted
11:10 AM
by Gene
COLINETTE MUST GO! Thursday, March 20, 2008
Posted
5:59 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:41 PM
by Gene
We mention this because up north is congealing a classic case of self-declared iconoclasm (A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO GUY GUY!), and we suspect everyone behind it is precisely the sort of fake we've just mentioned. All the better to make the millions they probably won't make. That it's coming from THE AMERICAS' MOST POLITICALLY CORRECT COUNTRY™ enhances the smell. I want to see SAMMY GLICK...MAN dance around this one. (Link in second graf via the frequently irritating ArtsJournal-Eh)
Posted
5:39 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:37 PM
by Gene
Does anyone IN LALA care?
Posted
5:33 PM
by Gene
Sounds as if the Col. may be doing a little empire unbuilding. Nothing yet on THE CORNER. There'll be plenty of time for delusions. (Via His Cheapie Marketwatch)
Posted
2:39 PM
by Gene
CAVEAT: This article has three "formers", and we know what THAT means.
Posted
2:23 PM
by Gene
Just when you think the theaTAH can't get any more CRASS....
Posted
9:08 AM
by Gene
We know why. "I WAS AT THE SUMMER OLYMPICS AND YOU WEREN'T!!!!!!!!!!"
Posted
9:02 AM
by Gene
CONGRATULATIONS! Pfffffffffffffffft!
Posted
8:59 AM
by Gene
Not to mention all the reporters, editors, anchorpoops, producers, etc., etc., etc., who will inflict this phrase upon us for TIME IMMEMORIAL.
Posted
8:49 AM
by Gene
Now -- how can news hacks call these people bigots without calling them bigots?
Posted
8:28 AM
by Gene
If we had to list all the mistakes the Clunker Brothers have made we wouldn't stop listing.
Posted
8:14 AM
by Gene
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Posted
8:53 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:01 PM
by Gene
I didn't know that Cosby is a Philadelphian. You've got to get your nose out of those math textbooks, Duhb.
Posted
2:34 PM
by Gene
MEDIA WEB Hef bares all ... well almost Jon Friedman discusses Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, his legacy and what's behind the empire's success. Do you suppose somebody had an ethics spasm? Or just another BRAIN spasm?
Posted
2:25 PM
by Gene
ANOTHER NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD, to SUSAN PLOTZ -- and a NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR AWARD IS POSSIBLE!
Posted
12:02 PM
by Gene
Times Hunts at Slate, Vibe for New Pop Music Critic (NYO) "Being pop critic at the Times is a dream job — certainly it was mine," the former occupant of that position, Kelefa Sanneh, wrote in an email this week. But a little more than two weeks ago, Sanneh left his dream job for the other dream job: a reporting gig at The New Yorker. Since March 3, the word has been spreading in music circles that A NEW MUSIC-CRITIC STAR WAS ABOUT TO BE MADE!!!!! (Star-making overemphasis added) Can someone inform these clowns they're NOT curing cancer!
Posted
9:30 AM
by Gene
I guess Kev has his tacky partisan moments too -- JUST LIKE THE CORNER. Why do so many find it so easy to consume BROMIDES?
Posted
9:22 AM
by Gene
The sweet life Legendary [obligatory roll-the-eyes SIC] Playboy publisher tells Friedman: even the rumors are true. And Little Jonny Hairshirt believed him. We'd like to hear a few rumors about Dorothy Stratten ourselves -- legendary or no.
Posted
9:19 AM
by Gene
Pardon -- this sends the right message.
Posted
9:00 AM
by Gene
It's official: the devil is an ass.
Posted
8:35 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:30 AM
by Gene
Not that the hacks would notice. As their rock-mewsic re-VIEWS prove they pride themselves on their tone-deafness. P. S. Theatre For The Nap & Drool Set (ArtsJournal link) Reviewers? Oh, "toddlers"!
Posted
8:28 AM
by Gene
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO SOLVEJ! [SIC!]
Posted
8:24 AM
by Gene
To paraphrase THE MASTER, "What is your drift, sirs?" That the muni-CI-pal types in LALA don't know pretty well signals they've given up on crime control. We may further guess the number of homicides solved is close to zero, QED.
Posted
8:19 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:14 AM
by Gene
It is one thing for editorial pages to be irrelevant. At what point do they become counterproductive? This is at the top of the list of the reasons I can't stand news hacks: they love the sound of their own typing. Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Posted
5:18 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:56 PM
by Gene
IS THAT ALL?!?!?
Posted
12:41 PM
by Gene
![]() Dubai plants an ugly leaky STARCHITECT's building in LALA! Is the sheikhs' fetish for ugly buildings a disease? There remain skeptics who wonder whether downtown L.A. is being overdeveloped with condo projects. Haven't they heard? The housing bust and the credit bust have ENDED FOR ALL TIME!!!!!
Posted
11:23 AM
by Gene
Unless the Fed cuts less than a full percent, then.... Monday, March 17, 2008
Posted
9:12 PM
by Gene
GOVERNMENT... KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! ...IS TO BLAME... KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! ...FOR THE HOUSING... KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! ..."BUBBLE"... KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! ...IF IT WAS ONE! Once again: I HATE KNEE-JERK LOCKSTEP PARTISANS!
Posted
7:42 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:58 PM
by Gene
From orchestra to gallery Could mean a raise in salary! (OR: News hacks are playing with themselves again:) Major theater chain restores raunchy trailers Oops! I think I put in the wrong URL! Oh, forgive me! It's here! And remember: it's restricted -- to anyone with a computer! A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO GREGG AND MICROHOO! P. S. ![]() God bless you, Tex Avery -- wherever you are!
Posted
5:35 PM
by Gene
By rights the first and foremost should be HIS REPUTATION.
Posted
2:38 PM
by Gene
Asked if Michigan could offer its student-athletes an academic experience similar to that of a typical student and still compete at the highest levels athletically, Basten didn't hesitate. "No," he said. You call it madness but I call it -- MONEY. (Via Chronicle.com)
Posted
2:15 PM
by Gene
That's LEADERSHIP, Dub!
Posted
1:24 PM
by Gene
If the investors haven't drained Mr. MorganChase first.
Posted
12:48 PM
by Gene
And let us not forget COLINETTE is in on this as well, meaning the deals might come from our side.
Posted
8:49 AM
by Gene
(Via ArtsJournal)
Posted
8:42 AM
by Gene
Journalists and others with a tendency to see glasses as half empty have a long history of pronouncing the American consumer maxed out. "Time for a New Frugality," this magazine declared in 1973. "Over the Ears in Debt," it chimed in again in 1987. It wasn't just TIME. Historian of credit Lendol Calder has assembled a long list of worried headlines through the decades: "Debt Threatens Democracy" (Harper's, 1940), "Is the Country Swamped with Debt?" (Business Week, 1949), "Never Have So Many Owed So Much" (U.S. News & World Report, 1959). And so on. And so on and so on. And so on and so on and so on.
Posted
8:32 AM
by Gene
Or is it offensive because it's both?
Posted
8:17 AM
by Gene
Promotional partnerships do not guarantee a film will be boffo at the box office. New Line’s “Semi-Pro” has been underperforming despite imaginative deals with brands like Bud Light and Old Spice; the star, Will Ferrell, even appears in character in TV commercials for both products. “We feel the pressure,” said Mr. Melfi, the producer. “If we do it right eight out of 10 times, we’re doing our job.” But hey if you can bludgeon the turnips eight out of ten times with your ads, I'd say that's pretty darn good! Right STU? WE WISH TO STATE, IN REAL ESTATE, THERE'S NONE SO LIVE AS WE! ANOTHER NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO STU! RAH-RAH!
Posted
8:07 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:06 AM
by Gene
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Posted
10:44 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:41 PM
by Gene
Throughout much of its history, Bear Stearns has masterfully persuaded the market that its business — narrowly focused on mortgage finance — was worth more than it actually was. To some degree this trick has been a testament to the coy gamesmanship of two of its past leaders, Alan Greenberg and Mr. Cayne. Both men are devout bridge players and Mr. Greenberg is an amateur magician as well, so they are well schooled in the art of not showing their hand. Well, bridge may not be poker but it's still a card game; and certainly the Richie Riches of the Wall Street Casino are incomparable at making money disappear -- without a magic wand, even. P. S. $2 a share. The central bank has agreed to fund up to 30 billion dollars of Bear Stearns’ less liquid assets. Uncle Sucker comes to the rescue!
Posted
2:18 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:05 PM
by Gene
![]() Why is it that even with something as seemingly benign as Seligism, the Chinese find a way to be sinister?
Posted
12:00 PM
by Gene
Montclair State University this week began an investigation into a February student radio broadcast that apparently included naked women, lap dancing and other sex acts. And here's the beauty part: A faculty adviser pulled the show off the air this week, but not until a parent of one of the women called the school Tuesday to complain about videos on the Web that purportedly showed the scene at the college-owned studio. SUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! (Via Chronicle.com)
Posted
11:54 AM
by Gene
You begin to wonder, listening to Obama's rhetoric, whether anything has changed in 20 years. "This is a defining moment in our history," Obama likes to say; but that's what Elizabeth Dole said when her husband ran for president in 1996. (They're both wrong.) In 1992, Bill Clinton was complaining that "Washington" was a place "people came to just to score political points." Eight years later Bush was complaining that "Washington is obsessed with scoring political points, not solving problems." Now, in 2008, "Washington has become a place," Obama says, "where politicians spend too much time trying to score political points." What's to be done about all this Washington point-scoring? Bob Dole's solution, 12 years ago, was to strongly favor "the things that lift this country up instead of dragging it down"; today Obama opposes "the politics where we tear each other down instead of lifting this country up." Because Howard Dean failed in his promise in 2004--"we're going to take this country back"--Obama revives the pledge, word for word, today. But like Gerald Ford, running against Jimmy Carter in 1976, he believes "we can disagree without being disagreeable." Onward they plod, these old warhorse phrases, until Obama climbs to the climax of his stump speech. Head bowed, brow furrowed, eyes flashing, he announces that we "will choose unity over division [Jesse Jackson, 1992]. We will choose hope over fear [Bill Clinton and John Kerry, 2004]. And we will choose the future over the past [Al Gore, 1992]." In so doing, we will overcome our "moral deficit [Bush, 2000; Gore, 2000; Newt Gingrich,1994]" by "bringing people beyond the divisions of race and class [Clinton 1992]" because the "story of our country [Ross Perot, 1992]" or the "genius of our country [Bush 2000]" or the "wonder of our country [George H.W. Bush, 1988]" is, as Obama says in 2008, "ordinary people doing extraordinary things [Perot, Bush, Bush, and Ronald Reagan, 1984]." Oh well -- aren't they all? (Via Contentions) Saturday, March 15, 2008
Posted
11:32 AM
by Gene
I'm sure we can try. Although it might be difficult because the Second Coming (or is that the first?) may not be quite as squeaky-clean as we'd previously imputed.
Posted
11:26 AM
by Gene
![]() Crazy Eddie may not want to fix up His stores, but He sure is ready to sell USED CARS! As is His patron saint St. Warren. Hey, it's a great way to sell AUTO INSURANCE! You don't suppose America may deserve a depression?
Posted
11:06 AM
by Gene
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to CHRIS! And when do America's parents stop using the popcorn restaurants as day-care centers?
Posted
10:51 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:43 AM
by Gene
Friday, March 14, 2008
Posted
5:39 PM
by Gene
Alternet...Right Wing Watch...Tapped...HuffPo...Crooks and Liars...ThinkProgress.org...BuzzFlash...TRANSLATION: The pastor was...Wright to blame us for 9/11. I HATE PARTISANS!
Posted
5:22 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:15 PM
by Gene
WASHINGTON (AP) -- Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke has promised to do all he can to help struggling homeowners. Good luck, Ben!
Posted
1:08 PM
by Gene
Shandling's 45 minutes of serious testimony began light-heartedly when Assistant U.S. Atty. Kevin Lally asked the television star a standard question to get the proceedings underway. "What do you do for a living?" Lally asked. "That's a bad sign," Shandling deadpanned, drawing laughs. The implication was that he was not as well-known as he had hoped. "I'm a comedian," he said. Does anyone outside BIGMEDIA watch cult favorites on HBO?
Posted
1:02 PM
by Gene
Some people should shut up before they open their mouths. P. S. So, what makes a girl classy enough for the clientele of the Emperor's Club? I guess "Kristen's" belly tattoo in Latin must have helped. Wait, isn't tutela valui the con-SER-va-tives' official motto? Oh, we're thinking caveat emptor.
Posted
10:15 AM
by Gene
"She crashed up [her stepdad's] Porsche and wanted another one, and he wouldn't give it to her, so she left," said the friend, who asked her name not be printed. (LAST GRAF)
Posted
10:08 AM
by Gene
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9:55 AM
by Gene
You don't suppose S&P popped the bubbly a bit early?
Posted
9:51 AM
by Gene
Well, think of the Sox and the Patriots and you can forget the money.
Posted
9:48 AM
by Gene
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9:35 AM
by Gene
(Via the usual ArtsJournal)
Posted
9:07 AM
by Gene
"Every university is committed to the pursuit of truth," said Georgetown President John J. DeGioia, "and we want to ensure that there is the opportunity for both academic freedom and for the free exchange of ideas and opinions across all issues." But David Gibson, the author of a Benedict biography, said the pope will ask, "If you're not going to be an authentically Catholic, orthodox institution, why should you exist?" We'll see lots of existentialism after April 17, won't we!
Posted
8:46 AM
by Gene
(Via MediaBistro)
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8:43 AM
by Gene
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8:38 AM
by Gene
P. S. As the stock bubble swelled in the 1990s, Greenspan became mesmerized by the theory that technology had boosted productivity far more than was understood. He concluded that ``there was no bubble under way because technology expenditures weren't accounted for correctly, meaning that stock prices weren't nearly as high as they seemed,'' Fleckenstein writes. The WIZ invented DOW 36,000ISM! Thursday, March 13, 2008
Posted
7:35 PM
by Gene
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5:08 PM
by Gene
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4:59 PM
by Gene
![]() The Web that gave us live blogging now gives us live voyeuring (sort-of). Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Posted
5:56 PM
by Gene
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5:31 PM
by Gene
That or they're Republicans.
Posted
5:29 PM
by Gene
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5:22 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:25 PM
by Gene
Do I see some peacocks wearing this as a badge of honor? Stations from other Arab countries that don't recognize Israel, including Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates, have crews and reporters in the country, while some Arab and Islamic countries rely on freelance journalists, usually Palestinians or Israeli Arabs. The reporters are accredited by the Israeli government and allowed to cover the news freely. Israeli media are allowed no similar freedoms in the Arab world. Thousands of knee-jerk lockstep screaming-meemie types say "So?"
Posted
1:18 PM
by Gene
LUV is learning about cronyism the hard way.
Posted
1:15 PM
by Gene
What does Jonah think of Valerie Bertinelli? She knocks him into second place on the New York Times bestseller list this week. 03/12 11:12 AM YOU GO GIRL!
Posted
10:45 AM
by Gene
What I'd like to see: Mickey D franchises with their own blogs. The spelling and grammatical errors would be tremendous.
Posted
9:55 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:19 AM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: Is the NEW Wizard of Oz flying blind? Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Posted
5:06 PM
by Gene
Maybe they should do it more often! Fed action may have targeted Bear Stearns TRANSLATION: We'll do anything, ANYTHING, to keep these houses of financial parasites from going broke!
Posted
1:47 PM
by Gene
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12:03 PM
by Gene
GOP lawmakers threaten to impeach Spitzer Ever heard of reverse psychology?
Posted
11:59 AM
by Gene
And how will Gekko & Co. strengthen the dollar especially with the speculative commodity orgying a certain con-SER-va-tive loves SO well?
Posted
11:43 AM
by Gene
Besides, do these geniuses think the low-IQ types who run the restaurants can run the equipment? And who can predict where the first pirated copies of first-runs will emanate from?
Posted
11:24 AM
by Gene
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11:11 AM
by Gene
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11:09 AM
by Gene
Yes, global warming is all about religion. But why should I want to worship to Gaea?
Posted
11:06 AM
by Gene
The Myth of Household Wage Stagnation Has Gekko "Goldilocks" Kudlow been regaling the office with HIS myths?
Posted
10:55 AM
by Gene
Who says CEOs have to know?
Posted
10:02 AM
by Gene
“Jersey Boys is a musical for people who don't like musicals,” says its director, Des McAnuff. Actually, these days just about everything is a musical for people who don't like musicals. It is the people who do like musicals who are screwed. It might have helped, though, if he hadn't referred to "Oscar Hammerstein III." (Via ArtsJournal) Monday, March 10, 2008
Posted
10:59 PM
by Gene
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10:55 PM
by Gene
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10:54 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:15 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:14 PM
by Gene
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Posted
6:02 PM
by Gene
And just to go one step further: How many of the hyperactive blurb machines among the Amazon Top Reviewers would have five-starred THIS work but for an inconvenience?
Posted
4:52 PM
by Gene
1. "DEBT IS THE NEW OBESITY!!!!!" [Emphasis added] And WHO has gorged the public with all those subprimes and credit-card come-ons? 2. You do not dumb down a magazine like The Atlantic and profit from it. 3. Can this designer make Chrysler come up with REALLY ugly cars everyone can call "HIP"? Other car companies can. 4. No one has yet to convince us salt and processed foods can be mutually exclusive. 5. So many products are usurping other products' boundaries, and so many CEOs of companies with competing brands want their luxury boxes at THE GAMES and the right to hector their underlings for years, they may be undercutting their "exclusive" sales pitches -- which from a CEO's point of view is never bad; he'll always get HIS seats. 6. SHUCKS, Southwest Airlines is getting to be as ill-managed and customer-deaf as any other airline. Do I hear its "competitors'" executives laughing?
Posted
3:34 PM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: Home movies are BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!
Posted
1:26 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:45 AM
by Gene
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