Posted 8:20 PM by Gene

Jonathan Karp is as clueless as the industry he seeks to "reform." Indeed forgive our suspicion that he wrote this treatise after an evening reading (or trying to read) the fool Jo-NAH, his face turning beet red and his head swelling to three times normal as he beheld this NAZI EXTREME -- oh, never mind. Discounting this obvious inspiration for his dyspepsia we can see Jonathan has no more an idea about books than anybody else. Publish "works that will last," croons he. Isn't that what the literary end of the business is doing, churning out endless MAs from literature schools -- and isn't that why so much of "literate" fiction is knee-jerkingly ridiculed as dead and dessicated? The biz has always had its hacks, and it has always produced popular trash. Does anyone here remember The Story of Mankind? Heck, does anyone here remember Harold Robbins? That trash now dominates the book biz is in no small part a function of how its excellences have receded into their own little crawl space, and folks as small-minded and platitude-prone as Mr. Karp and his book buddies will only see that their space becomes more confining.

Jonathan Karp is a publisher who understands the value of innovation. In 2002, while an editor at Random House, he came up with the idea of commissioning a sequel to Mario Puzo's The Godfather epic. A national contest was held to select a writer. The winner -- Mark Winegardner, a little-known but critically acclaimed novelist -- came out with the well-received The Godfather Returns in 2004.

Very innovative, Jonathan. (And two-and-a-half stars and no. 38,369 on Amazon.com.)

(Via the "smart" CuteLittlePinkPaper.com)

Posted 7:07 PM by Gene

NEWSWEEK Poll: How Smart Are Americans?

Judging from all the people who still subscribe to ZEITGEIST, we're tempted to say NOT VERY.

Posted 6:58 PM by Gene

It's Happening! Manhattan Office Vacancy Grows

You don't say! I wonder what could have brought THAT on?

Posted 6:48 PM by Gene

The newspaper of the future should be a convener of people

No no no no NO, Romy -- newspapers will always be adjourners of people.

Posted 6:46 PM by Gene

If Tiger Stadium had been in a different city it would have been dismantled long ago -- by greedy fans.

Posted 6:45 PM by Gene

The new fad in the cine-MA: interactive ads!

What happened to rotten eggs?

Posted 6:42 PM by Gene

BEAR STEARNS PART DEUX!

Posted 6:33 PM by Gene

While THE MESSIAH questions no one's patriotism, His Disciples question someone's patriotism.

Posted 6:25 PM by Gene

No! NO!! Soon to be Anheuser-BELGIAN-BRAZILIAN-Busch is cutting its donations to CHEAP CHANNEL!!!!!

TV IS NEXT!

Posted 6:23 PM by Gene

IF "half of US gun deaths are suicides", it would behoove professional apologists like John Lott to tell us how more guns make the situation better. It would also behoove the screaming-memmie Brady Center types to tell us how fewer guns make the situation better.

Posted 6:16 PM by Gene

Remember that stupid Popeye TV cartoon where everyone calls The Sailorman "Uuuuuuuugly! Uuuuuuuugly!"?



Here is the very definition.

And it's being demolished because, natch, STARCHITECTURE isn't built to last, just to please architecture cri-TICS.

[T]his disaster was created by the best and the brightest. The client was Harvard, or more specifically the Faculty of Arts and Sciences.

NUF SAID.

(Via Marty Peretz)

Posted 5:14 PM by Gene

The rot extends through all of Africa.

He dined at a lavish luncheon given by his Egyptian hosts, hugged heads of state and other diplomats in the corridors and stayed at the Peninsula Hotel, one of the most luxurious in this Red Sea town. “Mr Mugabe is staying there as a courtesy by the Egyptian Government,” a hotel spokesman said.

CONGRESSPOOPS!

Posted 7:35 PM by Gene

And while you were at it, Ehud, why didn't you pay a RANSOM?

“There will be much sadness in Israel, much humiliation considering the celebrations that will be held on the other side.”

TRANSLATION: Hey history! History books! You got a place for little ol' ME?

Posted 7:16 PM by Gene

Okay, American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers, you can stop financing junk TV now -- the median audience age is 50!

Posted 6:31 PM by Gene

The same blithering bankers who lent to every Tom, Dick and Harriet wanting a house are keeping their wallets shut even to businessmen with good credit. These clowns can't be trusted either way.

Posted 4:08 PM by Gene

Which is less credible: hacks screaming of RECORD B. O.!!!!! or Robert Mugabe's "landslide"?

Posted 12:56 PM by Gene

McCain meets with evangelist Billy Graham and son

MESSIAH! Your turn!

Posted 10:05 AM by Gene

From ONE part of Col.'s empire:

...on AMC — apparently, the new HBO....

From ANOTHER part of Col.'s empire:

In the scene, actor Jeremy Fiske, who plays John in the movie, walks down the sidewalk behind Szantyr and spends an inordinate amount of time looking at her backside. Or, as Szantyr put it: "He notices my backside and kind of like goes gaga at it. That's my big part in this movie. My butt."

Please, PLEASE Col. -- DEFAULT!

Posted 6:21 PM by Gene

Well, there is a very thin silver lining to this very dark cloud:

From coast to coast, American teenagers appear to be driving less this summer. Police officers who keep watch on weekend cruising zones say fewer youths are spending their time driving around in circles, with more of them hanging out in parking lots, malls or movie theaters.

Posted 6:20 PM by Gene

Another megapundit, Mr. Ben Frankenstein, the Stone Face of Annoying TV Ads, has a solution: increase wages.

Way to go FRANK!

Posted 5:45 PM by Gene

If "vast and impersonal forces" are raising the price of oil why has it gone up so much in the last six months, especially when this "peak oil" business was surely known for years and years?

And what is the practical difference between speculation and "market psychology"? I don't see any; they work for the same purpose of creating panics, and both have the same malevolent streak.

And yes, maybe we are looking for a scapegoat, and yes, it's a cheap and easy thing, but somebody's trading, and somebody's selling, and somebody's buying or not buying, and these vast impersonal forces ultimately comprise FLESH-AND-BLOOD PEOPLE. One may as well say vast impersonal forces brought on Communism and Hitler.

Meantime our economy's tanking and nobody seems to be doing a damned thing about it, except posturing.

I wish some high-powered pundits would stop thinking they can EXPLAIN things.

"It's most important for Congress to stop blaming everyone for oil prices -- from big oil to OPEC to speculators, and really get down to the fundamentals of the market, which is about dramatically reducing demand in the U.S. and the world for oil, increasing supply, driving alternatives into the market," said Robbie Diamond, director of the think tank Securing America's Energy Future.

WHEN?!?!?

Posted 4:08 PM by Gene

Will anyone notice the screams of ninny partisans in this writeup few will read for a documentary hardly anyone outside the Beltway will ever watch?

Posted 4:05 PM by Gene

Correction: June 28, 2008
Because of an editing error, an article on Friday about cast albums of current Broadway musicals misidentified an award won by “Passing Strange.” It won the Tony for best book of a musical — not for best original score, which went to “In the Heights.”

Would anyone notice this mistake in a panegyric few have read for cast albums hardly anyone outside Branson East will ever listen to?

Posted 12:59 PM by Gene

Uh, I wouldn't unleash this Democratic Truth Squad too often, Howie. It might give people -- ideas.

Posted 12:40 PM by Gene

The prices of commodities often change unexpectedly, making business risky. THE SPECULATOR BRINGS A DEGREE OF CERTAINTY TO OTHERWISE RISKY VENTURES. When supplies of a commodity are plentiful and prices low -- but speculators expect the price to rise later -- they buy -- cushioning the COLLAPSE of prices. When supplies become scarcer and prices rise, they SELL -- EASING THE SHORTAGE AND LOWERING THE PRICE. Also, speculators may agree to buy a commodity in the future for a price locked in today. This reduces the risk for an oil producer or farmer who fears investing because he doesn't know what price his product will sell for next year.

As a result of these activities, volatile supplies and prices are EVENED OUT over time. OCCASIONALLY, speculators increase volatility. Markets are never perfect. (ALTHOUGH THEY ARE BETTER THAN GOVERNMENT REGULATION!!) But in general, SPECULATORS INCREASE LIQUIDITY AND KEEP THE MARKET ON A MORE EVEN KEEL. This makes long-term planning EASIER for everyone.

IT WOULD BE NICE IF MCCAIN WOULD FINALLY LEARN SOME ECONOMICS!!!!! [Even-keeled overemphasis added]

(Oops! Wrong link.)

Posted 11:41 AM by Gene

A once tennis star makes stoopid remarks about some females of the species, which the ASSPress chose NOT to disseminate, and then apologized for the remarks ASSPress readers are now scratching their heads about.

Earl Butz lives!

Posted 11:40 AM by Gene

Another fine thing from THE CONSPIRACY: unwanted pets!

Posted 9:50 AM by Gene

A rare critical show-biz article -- and from SI, yet! -- that hints THE CONSPIRACY is pouring its money down a 3-D rathole. When we see something like this:

The Motion Picture Association of America claims that 2007 was a good year for the cinema business, with U.S. box office revenue up 5 percent to $9.6 billion. But that’s unsupportable spin. The jump can be almost entirely attributed to a bump in ticket prices. The number of tickets sold in the U.S. stayed flat from 2006 to 2007, at 1.5 billion. (In 1950, while TV was taking off, U.S. theaters sold 3 billion tickets a year—and the population was half what it is today.) Meanwhile, 379 screens were added between 2006 and 2007. Do the math and movies are doing worse than ever in theaters. [Emphasis added]

...you know the writer needs a reeducation camp. Send him to the ASSPress's Stupid Twins, DAVID "300" BAUDER and DAVID "NON" GERMAIN; they'll know what to do. He does hedge his connections by hinting the movies themselves aren't the problem, just all those "crummy seats" and not serving alcohol. [!] But when he concludes by saying that 3-D is "a temporary cure for a situation that will only get worse over time", perhaps movies AREN'T better than ever.

Posted 7:54 PM by Gene

A former client of Hahvahd Mutual Fund bemoans the widening gap between rich and poor -- and suggests a brilliant solution...in the last graf:

The United States once led the world in the rate at which its citizens finished college; it now falls in the middle of the OECD pack. It could lead again if Americans made a decision to fund higher education the way they chose to fund universal public high-school education early in the last century.

Couldn't your Fund do just as good a job by merely redistributing some of its wealth? Or must the turnips forever redistribute it to YOU?

(Via Arts & Letters Daily)

Posted 5:50 PM by Gene

The Secretary of KELLOGG's says those converter-box coupons shouldn't expire, which suggests his mind is still somewhere around Battle Creek.

Or maybe not, because if he still ran Kellogg's he'd insist they expire in sixty days.

Posted 5:47 PM by Gene

Senator Chuck Hagel declined to endorse his party's likely presidential nominee, John McCain, and said he would consider serving as secretary of defense in a Barack Obama administration.

How 'bout secretary of ETHANOL?

Posted 5:45 PM by Gene

Who Will Fill Bill Gates' Shoes?

Judging from some of the names he tosses out, it might still be the Bugmeister.

Posted 5:41 PM by Gene

First thing we do, let's jail all the lawyers!

What would Bill Shakes have said about Wall Street?

Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

McCain calls Carter a 'lousy president'

Boobs should not have said that, however true it is.

Posted 2:19 PM by Gene

Merrill may write down $5.4 billion in Q2: Lehman

THE POT....

Posted 2:16 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: The maniacs who are getting OUTOUTOUT of stocks and INININ to commodities are ONE AND THE SAME.

Posted 12:18 PM by Gene

It is now obvious: If an alien force invaded earth and zapped every last television set and transmitter and cable system in existence, and made transmitting any program by any means eternally impossible otherwise, ADVERTISERS WOULD STILL SPEND MONEY ON TELEVISION.

Posted 12:13 PM by Gene

So! Mark Steyn won't have to worry about Canada's national PC police, which should not have been sicced on him in the first place.

(VIa -- alas -- The Corner)

Posted 11:50 AM by Gene

Loath though we are to say a pundit has something right, Brooksy has something right:

Liberals have a way to address...inequalities — the creation of a Denmark-style welfare state. Conservatives have offered almost nothing.

This is because liberals are busy puffing up outfits like DONTAFSCME and con-SER-va-tives are busy puffing up the hyperrich. Do even the authors of Grand New Party think this can change?

Posted 11:47 AM by Gene

The same superinsider who said Couch Jumper's handlers doctored a picture one of Hitler's would-be assassins to make him look like Couch Jumper says there'll be no ac-TORS' strike in Hollywood.

CONTRARY INDICATOR?!?!?

Posted 8:12 AM by Gene

I would not hold my breath that the third world is going soft on nukes, for other parts of the third world are getting harder.

"The United States has no illusions about the regime in Pyongyang," Bush said.

BUT....

On Thursday, North Korean officials turned over to China a 60-page declaration, written in English, that details several rounds of plutonium production at the Yongbyon plant dating back to 1986. [Emphasis added]

YASSIR ARAFAT LIVES!

Posted 8:07 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: WHEN DOES BUGMEISTER RETURN?

Posted 8:20 PM by Gene

“IF DAVE OBEY WANTS TO BE THE CHAIRMAN OF THIS COMMITTEE, HE CAN GET 35 ADDITIONAL DEMOCRATS ELECTED SO HE CAN TAKE THE CHAIR!” Lewis said later. “UNTIL THEN, WE’RE RUNNING THE COMMITTEE!!! AND WE’RE SETTING THE AGENDA!!!!!”

Oops:

“IF JERRY LEWIS WANTS TO BE THE CHAIRMAN OF THIS COMMITTEE, HE CAN GET 35 ADDITIONAL REPUBLICANS ELECTED SO HE CAN TAKE THE CHAIR!” Obey said later. “UNTIL THEN, WE’RE RUNNING THE COMMITTEE!!! AND WE’RE SETTING THE AGENDA!!!!!” [Word changes and agenda-setting overemphasis added]

Trying for SINGLE DIGITS, guys?

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

Shucks, The Econowiz really wanted to use the word LEGENDARY for its biggest fan the Bugmeister, and it tried, really tried, but other words had to come up:

Despite all [His] efforts, the PC, Mr Gates’s obsession, has ended up as an internet terminal.

Posted 5:14 PM by Gene

Is Anonymous trying to make the TANTRUM TWINS triplets?

(Via -- oh well -- The Corner)

Posted 5:10 PM by Gene

The same Wall Street casino that's trying to start a depression thinks it can make money starting a depression. It's all one; they get a vicarious thrill either way. Indeed one guesses the vicarious thrill at starting a depression is greater than running the Dow up 75,000 points because they think they won't get hurt.

"Crude oil is unlikely to face a major correction without a major bottom in the dollar or large cut in global demand," said Thomas Hartmann, an analyst at Altavest Worldwide Trading. "Inflation appears on track to get 'out of control' before the situation improves."

Thanks again, Dwights!

Posted 1:52 PM by Gene

Oil companies and their shareholders learn life isn't fair.

Posted 1:50 PM by Gene

Yeah, who needs a middle initial? Abe Lincoln didn't have one.

So now -- yes, we'll call you B. O.

Posted 1:13 PM by Gene

It's a wonder no one invented a brothel on wheels before, but then in vans the service usually came for free.



TRANSLATION: A Vegas hearse with a bed and a bar.

Posted 1:04 PM by Gene

One thing our next president might do is to start a crash course in alternate fuels. Ninety-five percent of the money will be wasted, but we can't go on financing dictatorships forever.

Posted 1:02 PM by Gene

The world’s biggest maker of consumer goods has urged Barack Obama and John McCain not to talk the US into a “worse recession” during the presidential election by being too gloomy over the state of the economy.

AG Lafley, chairman and chief executive of Procter & Gamble, told the Financial Times he was concerned by the “woe is me and ain’t it awful” rhetoric adopted by Hillary Clinton and Mr Obama during their fierce battle for the Democrat nomination.

“In my business we don’t need excessive negativism,” said Mr Lafley. “You know we are in a business where psychology matters – even in the staples business – and in the economy psychology matters. It could go negative on the economy, that could be a problem . . . We will talk ourselves into a worse recession.”

Hey Laff, we got an idea -- lay off a few thousand workers, then increase prices, then spend the resulting billions on JUNK TELEVISION telling us how hunky dory things are!

Posted 12:03 PM by Gene

---- Original Message ----

From: Bill Gates
Sent: Wednesday, January 15, 2003 10:05 AM
To: Jim Allchin
Cc: Chris Jones (WINDOWS); Bharat Shah (NT); Joe Peterson; Will Poole; Brian Valentine; Anoop Gupta (RESEARCH)
Subject: Windows Usability Systematic degradation flame

I am quite disappointed at how Windows Usability has been going backwards and the program management groups don't drive usability issues.

Let me give you my experience from yesterday.

I decided to download (Moviemaker) and buy the Digital Plus pack ... so I went to Microsoft.com. They have a download place so I went there.

The first 5 times I used the site it timed out while trying to bring up the download page. Then after an 8 second delay I got it to come up.

This site is so slow it is unusable.

It wasn't in the top 5 so I expanded the other 45.

These 45 names are totally confusing. These names make stuff like: C:\Documents and Settings\billg\My Documents\My Pictures seem clear.

They are not filtered by the system ... and so many of the things are strange.

I tried scoping to Media stuff. Still no moviemaker. I typed in movie. Nothing. I typed in movie maker. Nothing.

So I gave up and sent mail to Amir saying - where is this Moviemaker download? Does it exist?

So they told me that using the download page to download something was not something they anticipated.

They told me to go to the main page search button and type movie maker (not moviemaker!).

I tried that. The site was pathetically slow but after 6 seconds of waiting up it came.

I thought for sure now I would see a button to just go do the download.

In fact it is more like a puzzle that you get to solve. It told me to go to Windows Update and do a bunch of incantations.

This struck me as completely odd. Why should I have to go somewhere else and do a scan to download moviemaker?

So I went to Windows update. Windows Update decides I need to download a bunch of controls. (Not) just once but multiple times where I get to see weird dialog boxes.

Doesn't Windows update know some key to talk to Windows?

Then I did the scan. This took quite some time and I was told it was critical for me to download 17megs of stuff.

This is after I was told we were doing delta patches to things but instead just to get 6 things that are labeled in the SCARIEST possible way I had to download 17meg.

So I did the download. That part was fast. Then it wanted to do an install. This took 6 minutes and the machine was so slow I couldn't use it for anything else during this time.

What the heck is going on during those 6 minutes? That is crazy. This is after the download was finished.

Then it told me to reboot my machine. Why should I do that? I reboot every night -- why should I reboot at that time?

So I did the reboot because it INSISTED on it. Of course that meant completely getting rid of all my Outlook state.

So I got back up and running and went to Windows Update again. I forgot why I was in Windows Update at all since all I wanted was to get Moviemaker.

So I went back to Microsoft.com and looked at the instructions. I have to click on a folder called WindowsXP. Why should I do that? Windows Update knows I am on Windows XP.

What does it mean to have to click on that folder? So I get a bunch of confusing stuff but sure enough one of them is Moviemaker.

So I do the download. The download is fast but the Install takes many minutes. Amazing how slow this thing is.

At some point I get told I need to go get Windows Media Series 9 to download.

So I decide I will go do that. This time I get dialogs saying things like "Open" or "Save". No guidance in the instructions which to do. I have no clue which to do.

The download is fast and the install takes 7 minutes for this thing.

So now I think I am going to have Moviemaker. I go to my add/remove programs place to make sure it is there.

It is not there.

What is there? The following garbage is there. Microsoft Autoupdate Exclusive test package, Microsoft Autoupdate Reboot test package, Microsoft Autoupdate testpackage1. Microsoft AUtoupdate testpackage2, Microsoft Autoupdate Test package3.

Someone decided to trash the one part of Windows that was usable? The file system is no longer usable. The registry is not usable. This program listing was one sane place but now it is all crapped up.

But that is just the start of the crap. Later I have listed things like Windows XP Hotfix see Q329048 for more information. What is Q329048? Why are these series of patches listed here? Some of the patches just things like Q810655 instead of saying see Q329048 for more information.

What an absolute mess.

Moviemaker is just not there at all.

So I give up on Moviemaker and decide to download the Digital Plus Package.

I get told I need to go enter a bunch of information about myself.

I enter it all in and because it decides I have mistyped something I have to try again. Of course it has cleared out most of what I typed.

I try (typing) the right stuff in 5 times and it just keeps clearing things out for me to type them in again.

So after more than an hour of craziness and making my programs list garbage and being scared and seeing that Microsoft.com is a terrible website I haven't run Moviemaker and I haven't got the plus package.

The lack of attention to usability represented by these experiences blows my mind. I thought we had reached a low with Windows Network places or the messages I get when I try to use 802.11. (don't you just love that root certificate message?)

When I really get to use the stuff I am sure I will have more feedback.

Bugmeister's last will and testament.

(Via Gizmodo via Slashdot)

Posted 10:43 AM by Gene

Supreme Court: There is a right to own guns

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 8:26 AM by Gene

U.S. to Take North Korea Off Terror List

Does this count as another Dubya flipflop?

Posted 8:21 AM by Gene

One suspects the wonks are making too much of those they must call "Obamacons", in the idiot manner of "metrosexuals". True Gen. Fogbound isn't a conservative, and we'd argue Hole-in-the-Bagel isn't a Republican. Moreover most of these people aren't going to vote for The Messiah. The fact is after fourteen years the GOP is rubble and ashes. Now we await another eyeball-rolling time of a one-party democratic state, which will inevitably end in corruption and ennui, as did the Republicans'.

(Via the TWXSTERS)

Posted 8:19 AM by Gene

The Lord opposes the Fairness Doctrine!

Will his acolytes in the Lower Church listen?

Posted 6:03 PM by Gene

FINALLY, THE CONSCIENCE OF THE WORLD SPEAKS.

What took you so long to get your Conscience in gear, Conscience?

Posted 5:01 PM by Gene

I finally got around to seeing that fake VIRAL video, and while it's nice to know PEPSICO and its ULTRA-PC CEO have time enough on their hands to dream up some stupid stunts I find it troubling. Not the stunt itself, which is clearly minor-league compared to, say, Mr. Middle-Finger of yore; but if Indira or whatever her name is can harmlessly lie the true believers of THE TANTRUM TWINS and all their parasites can harmfully lie. This is just another glorified example of yentaism, the relentless spreading of half-truths of which the Web has become the most successful exponent in history, which has already proved the undoing of too many, and could if bad enough prove the undoing of us all.

Posted 3:07 PM by Gene

Lenny's leaving at just the right time.

(Via CuteLittlePinkPaper.com)

Posted 2:40 PM by Gene

AP NEWSALERT!!!!!

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush says Friday's election in Zimbabwe appears to "be a sham" [sic]

Even HE knows?

Posted 1:40 PM by Gene

If sanctions won't work...

Robert Mugabe to be stripped of knighthood

...this will!

Posted 11:30 AM by Gene

In news of "jurisprudence", the Nine Fingers were one digit away from ruling Louisiana's death penalty for child rape constitutional.

But in good news for con-SER-va-tives, they lowered ExxonMobil's fine from the Valdez spill.

And in GREAT news for GEKKO KUDLOWs, New York's high fingers dismissed four charges against Dick "Too Little" Grasso. Excessive CEO compensation is NOT against the law!

Posted 11:26 AM by Gene

George Carlin hosted the very first episode of SNL on Oct. 11, 1975. NBC will honor him by airing that premiere episode this weekend while HBO plans on playing specials of more than 30 years of his comedy shows starting this week....

According to a transcript of the show available here, Mr. Carlin "wanted to wear a t-shirt, but the network wanted him to wear a suit. As a compromise, Carlin wore a vest and jacket over his t-shirt, and hosted the show while reportedly stoned out of his mind."

A very apt honor.

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

Now it's official: The Washington Times blames oil speculation on the greedy sleazeball Phil Gramm!

Thanks, Phil! Your guy almost deserves to lose.

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

Warning to airline travelers: Expect to pay more for customer service, receive less

What's less than zero?

Posted 5:25 PM by Gene

Could Elian Gonzalez lose the election for The Lord?

Posted 5:19 PM by Gene

Here THE CONSPIRACY had this wonderful gold mine called the DVD, and through its unique alchemy -- such as doing the WKRP on The Fugitive -- has not only turned the gold to tin it may have taught the customers to stop shelling out money for TV shows altogether. Between the seclusion of un-PC cartoons and former rock superstars and other pea-brained musicians throwing tantrums there are already enough reasons for the fans to resent the biz -- as if its continuing excretion of genius isn't enough.

One-and-a-half-stars on Amazon.com, and it's been out two weeks. NUF SAID.

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

Audit: Dems, liberals passed over for Justice jobs

1. Democrats would do the SAME THING. 2. When Democrats do the same thing news hacks won't try to win the P-Ulitzer over it. 3. Both parties and their respective apologists STINK.

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Michigan, once a proud of center of industry, is becoming a huge laboratory for RENDELLISM; but whether health care and fancy-dancy science and the AHTS can REALLY employ people remains to be seen.

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

A woman married eleven times to seven men so she could write a book?

Let's hope there isn't a sequel.

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: JCPenney (DilbertSpell) pulled a SUMNER, and when people found out about it and got mad, it pulled a reverse SUMNER, which does not negate the notion the top boys approved.

Posted 5:01 PM by Gene

"We now have a staggering number of foreclosure filings on a daily basis in the country," says Sandy "Angie" Dodd, which means a staggering number of bills, which means a staggering bill, which means, with the genius of GUVMENT, we may never stop footing the bill.

Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

If Burma/Myanmar could thumb its nose at the WORULLLLD COMMUNITY, why can't Zimbabwe do likewise -- even if the vote is unanimous minus one?

Posted 8:20 PM by Gene

AP NEWSALERT!!!!!

UNITED NATIONS (AP) -- UN Security council condemns Zimbabwe's government over `campaign of violence' [sic]

Now maybe you can go and -- pass sanctions on yourself.

Posted 5:41 PM by Gene

New Sanctions for Zimbabwe Likely as Opposition Quits

And will they as effective as sanctions on...oh, never mind.

Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

I would say the BEIJING GAMES were an embarrassment from the time the SONS of BRANDAGE and GE BANCORP chose Beijing.

Posted 5:24 PM by Gene

Big Dig's largest contractor files for Chapter 11

An apt reward for a job well done.

Posted 5:21 PM by Gene

TNT, Acura Start with Blank Slate

And if they use all that money and air time right they could turn it in to the televised equivalent of the Los Angeles River.

Posted 5:19 PM by Gene

We could point to any number of Sena-TORS as proof some people serve in guvment too long -- and "Sandy" Dodd would be a good place to start.

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

More brilliance from the Kinsley Memorial Web Site:

technology

Victoria's Circuit

Harnessing the untapped power of breast motion.
Adrienne So
June 23, 2008, 4:10 PM ET

Posted 5:07 PM by Gene

Shucks, Lenny's going to let someone else choose the metro area's senators.

Posted 5:03 PM by Gene

A reason The Lord may win: Stuck between a real liberal who fakes and a so-so conservative who fakes, people may choose the real liberal, thinking He's the real thing.

Posted 9:07 AM by Gene

And speaking of innovation, GE BANCORP's putting the GAMES on a downloading platform. BUT:

Users must have Microsoft Windows Vista to use the service, which runs on the operating system's Media Center. According to Microsoft, about 100 million people have Vista.

What about those of us who don't want it?

Posted 9:03 AM by Gene

If only we (and not Slashdot's dweebs) had found this first: a eulogy for BuckyBall:

Fuller’s schemes often had the hallucinatory quality associated with science fiction (or mental hospitals). [!!!!!]

AND:

In 1994, Stewart Brand, the founding editor of the “Whole Earth Catalog” and an early, self-described dome “propagandist,” called geodesics a “massive, total failure”:

Domes leaked, always. The angles between the facets could never be sealed successfully. If you gave up and tried to shingle the whole damn thing—dangerous process, ugly result—the nearly horizontal shingles on top still took in water. The inside was basically one big room, impossible to subdivide, with too much space wasted up high. The shape made it a whispering gallery that broadcast private sounds to everyone.

NUF SAID.

Posted 8:54 AM by Gene

More confirmation of polls' uselessness:

The most reputable company in America: Google, which toppled Microsoft from the top perch in the 2007 Harris Interactive Reputation Quotient study released today -- and sent it tumbling all the way down to No. 10.

1. Just because everybody uses something that makes it good? 2. Why NOW?

"Google is the perfect example showing reputation does not correlate with ad spending," said Robert Fronk, senior VP-senior consultant, reputation strategy, at Harris Interactive.

Well, in a certain way, they got that right.

Posted 8:40 AM by Gene

I'm sorry too, Romy, that TV news hacks can't expose more miscreants, but the sad fact is such stories have the taint of exploding pickups and superscripts, and they also have the taint of bias (as we will readily assume the hacks will only go after conservative miscreants) -- but because you hacks have to tell your truth is one reason we can't trust you, and because we can't trust you you've pulled the rug out from under your own most necessary endeavors.

Posted 8:31 AM by Gene

To Crown a Copyright Czar

...is to crown the public, and it won't stop Chinese or Russians or Bulgarians from pilfering our product as usual.

Posted 8:23 AM by Gene

George Carlin, one of the comedians who made it possible for standup to use dirty words in inverse proportion to its laughs, has died. RIP.

Interesting: The TWXSTERS do a St. Timothy on the domestic home page, but turn to International -- where is it?

I think the International page has the right idea.

Posted 3:01 PM by Gene

Oh for God's sake, the phone company wants to be a cable company, and a cable company is already pretty good at shafting the public, so in the end does it a matter except that one or the other will pick our pockets?

Posted 2:48 PM by Gene

An astonishing admission from a con-SER-va-tive source:

Wall Street aristocrats and heroes can easily morph into con men.

Also they can be "bunglers" who are "abjectly stupid about shareholders’ and customers’ money". Gekko Kudlow must call for a boycott of City Journal!

Posted 11:45 AM by Gene

Wonks are making a big thing about The Lord and his campaign-financing flip-flop. Sorry, when push comes to shove, the hacks will shove us as usual.

Posted 11:42 AM by Gene

Miami, all day and all night

Great beaches, nightlife, culture and eats make for a hot, hip and happening vacation in Miami.

Hasn't the nightlife been a little dark there lately?

Posted 10:57 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: American movies are getting so provincial the overseas markets would rather watch their own.

Posted 9:49 AM by Gene

Whoopee, the Saudis are supposedly pumping more oil. The speculators should be able to tweak this one too.

Posted 9:45 AM by Gene

“Forty years ago, publishers had a pretty high standard for who should write books,” the historian Michael Beschloss, who is based in Washington, said in a telephone interview. “There were fewer books published. You had better possess some literary ability.”

Who needs literary ability to write a memoir?

Posted 12:55 PM by Gene

The Chinese parading a flaming middle finger through Tiber would have been just as good.

I wonder how many corporate logos joined in?

Posted 12:49 PM by Gene

As we have said before, what can be more pleasing to the common man than a nasty divorce between two high mucky-mucks?

Posted 9:59 AM by Gene

Amid rising deficit, next president may be unable to fulfill campaign promises, fiscal experts say. [Home-page subhed]

The last thing we expect -- no, the last thing we want is a president fulfilling his campaign promises.

Posted 9:57 AM by Gene

Americans are renting apartments and houses at the highest level since President Bush started a campaign to expand homeownership in 2002. [Home-page subhed]

Yep, sounds like Dubya.

Posted 9:49 AM by Gene

Speaking of expectorate (and speaking of HSX), it appears we have just had the national equivalent of people throwing salmonella-tainted tomatoes at a movie screen.

Posted 9:39 AM by Gene

It is official: America's periodical publishers are willing themselves out of business. This week B. S. DEFENDER's Frankenstein monster, having approached a suitably arbitrary milestone of a thousand (too many) issues in print, expectorated a "listicle" of a thousand new show-biz CLASSICS! from the last twenty-five years. A look at the list of the hundred CLASSIC movies quickly reveals it's comprised mostly of the biggest hits and critically acclaimed sops. But a table-pounder at HSX was crushed to learn that the It's a Wonderful Life of the nineties was NOT THERE. Perhaps the TWXSTERS were attempting a sly hidden commentary on the whole thing, like a Soviet dissident smuggling papers through the Iron Curtain. We doubt it; if there's anything PEOPLE WARNER is NOT it's subtle.

Posted 8:41 PM by Gene

Our warm and fuzzy story and video of the day.

A heartfelt thank you, Chron.com. Now I know why the good Lord made puppies and kittens.

Posted 7:30 PM by Gene

Romy again:

Thomson: Wall Street Journal is still a business newspaper

As we will find out the next time it covers News Corp.

Posted 6:37 PM by Gene

And hard-core RICHIE RICHES:

[SOCIAL SECURITY] IS REALLY A WELFARE PROGRAM MERGED WITH A PONZI SCHEME TO MASK ITS REDISTRIBUTIVE EFFECTS!!!!! [Redistributive overemphasis added]

So let's dismantle SocSec and redistribute the wealth YOUR way. Does any hyperpartisan NOT believe in redistributing wealth?

Posted 6:34 PM by Gene

We may wonder whether endorsements by big fat lobbying groups are meaningless. The Sierra Club and DONTAFSCME have backed The Lord. Gun Nuts of America will back Boobs McKeating. Six of one....

Posted 6:27 PM by Gene

And yet elsewhere in the Big Double-A-Scribble, the Commish of Prima-Donna Roundball proposes to address rigging!

How? We can guess -- by making his sport so superfantastic people won't even think of it!

Posted 6:25 PM by Gene

Whew! And the putative new owner of A-B isn't going to scrimp on schmoozing either.

Posted 6:23 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Moon 'n' Stars is asking executives to retire so it can spend MORE money on junk television and go to fancy ceremonies at places like Cannes where it can engage in schmoozing to a NEW LEVEL.

Posted 6:07 PM by Gene

Intent on overturning BART's ban on drinking in stations and on trains, BART board Director Lynette Sweet put on a demonstration Thursday to show off a travel coffee mug outfitted with a "dead man's trigger" engineered to keep the beverage from spilling even if the person holding it keels over and dies.

Moments later she was in search of paper towels and a mop.

The first word out of her mouth can't be printed in a family newspaper.

As an occasionally-sticky-shoed regular on an el I can say, NUF SAID.

Posted 6:04 PM by Gene

Are instrument playing robots likely to replace human musicians? "Definitely not," says Prof Wolfe. "Who would go to a robot concert? For us, the robot is a complementary part of our research into how to play music badly or well, and what makes the difference."

Yeah, who needs robots when we have KENNY G?

Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Although we don't think even Kenny is capable of such an A-1 CLAM as that one at the end.

(Via the usual Slashdot)

Posted 6:02 PM by Gene

The ASSPress endorses HOLE-IN-THE-BAGEL, proving it can be every bit as vain too.

Posted 11:21 AM by Gene

And in rickety old Londontown:

£1bn deal for biggest 2012 venue faces collapse
Developer for Olympic Village is struggling to raise capital because of the credit crunch, and taxpayer could pick up bill

But isnt that the Olympic Spirit?

Posted 9:53 AM by Gene

THE MESSIAH -- OFFICIAL SPONSOR OF THE GAMES!

He wants to be associated with them?

Posted 9:50 AM by Gene

There's sexy, and then there's scary-sexy.

And then there's scary. Have you seen a picture of Al Neuharth lately?

A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO TONY! Hey Tony! Why don't you tattoo some of your plugs on YOU!

Posted 9:49 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Even though THE GOLFING MACHINE is out for a while, that will not affect advertisers' ability to waste our money and SCHMOOZE.

Posted 8:51 AM by Gene

• No end in site for Mississippi River flooding 22 min [SIC!]
  

On CNN's site, perhaps.

Posted 6:14 PM by Gene

The Nine Fingers rule employers can use state funds to campaign against labor unions!

Why aren't con-SER-va-tives cheering?

Posted 6:10 PM by Gene

A.H. Belo Hits New Post-Split Low On Bad Day For Newspaper Stocks

Did THEY mourn for St. Timothy too?

Posted 5:58 PM by Gene

IF YOU DON'T LIKE TIM RUSSERT SATURATION COVERAGE YOU CAN ALWAYS TURN THE TV OFF!!!!!

Bankruptcy is too kind an outcome for TV Guide.

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 5:54 PM by Gene

Imagine THE TANTRUM TWINS organized America's neighborhoods.

Imagine talk of a second Civil War isn't talk.

Posted 5:49 PM by Gene

1939: Beau Geste vs. Dark Victory vs. Destry Rides Again vs. Goodbye, Mr. Chips vs. Gunga Din vs. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington vs. Ninotchka vs. Of Mice and Men vs. Stagecoach vs. Wuthering Heights vs. Young Mr. Lincoln...vs. The Wizard of Oz...vs. Gone with the Wind....

2008: The Love Guru vs. Get Smart.

P. S. (S as in self-serving)

Bottom Line: Unfunny juvenilia that makes one appreciate the subtlety and nuances of Judd Apatow's films.

Wait a second! We thought Judd was the MACK SENNETT of our day!

Maybe he is.

Posted 5:48 PM by Gene

"An arrest binge" indeed.

We're no friends of the Gekkoites but did Dubya do this strictly for show? And how many of these frauds will get innocent verdicts?

Posted 5:47 PM by Gene

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Wednesday that the cost the United States has paid so far in its effort to rid North Korea of nuclear weapons is much smaller than the concessions made by Pyongyang.

Dubya's got to work on that.

Posted 5:43 PM by Gene

This alleged contest among adolescent girls in Massachusetts to get pregnant bespeaks a shattering lack of imagination, not to mention sense and brains. If these girls had wanted to be excited there were many other ways to do it. That nothing is taboo in our time except CHILD PORN takes away a lot of the virtue of innocence and a lot of the incentive to have any sense.

By the way, TWXSTERS, with your never-ending gloating over Slutsville you should be the LAST people to use the word WORSE.

Posted 5:54 PM by Gene

A WINNER OF THE BAD-SEX-IN-FICTION AWARD GETS MAD:

TELEVISED news can't hold a candle to newspapers, according to Tom Wolfe. "As newspapers are declining rapidly . . . I would just point out, all news today comes from newspapers. All of it," the "Bonfire of the Vanities" author told Charlie Rose the other night. "Television has never initiated a successful story in its life. When they have a big story, it's always wrong." He cited as an example Dan Rather's bogus story about George W. Bush's National Guard service and declared, "Idiots!"

NEVER!!!!!

(First link via MediaBistro)

Posted 5:19 PM by Gene

"I refuse to be lectured on national security by people who are responsible for the most disastrous set of foreign policy decisions in the recent history of the United States," Obama said in opening remarks that in part referred to the Iraq war.

TRANSLATION: Let's get Elvis -- and after we get Elvis let's BRING THE SOLDIERS HOME!!!!!

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP, COLOR CODES and THE EVERY CHILD A DILBERT ACT should teach us why nursing-home ratings may not work.

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

SHUCKS, NOT THE LAST WORD (sorry):

FIND MORE STORIES IN: Washington | God | John McCain | Lord | Georgetown | House Speaker Nancy Pelosi | Meet | Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid | NBC News | Brian Williams | Tom Brokaw | Tim Russert | Luke | Matt Lauer | Bryant Gumbel | Kennedy Center | New York Gov. David Paterson | Sunday-morning

[SIC!!!!!!!!!!] [Emphasis added]

Posted 5:05 PM by Gene

And here's another zillion-dollar fraud.

Posted 5:02 PM by Gene

THE LAST WORD, WE PROMISE:

• LIVE: Russert memorial, other news now

Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

Morgan Stanley suspended a credit trader and disclosed a $120 million ``negative adjustment'' related to erroneous valuations of his positions, Chief Financial Officer Colm Kelleher said.

We frown at the leeches of Wall Street because they can so easily cook the books. They too are afflicted with hubris. With such shenanigans becoming a more frequent thing we wonder when one of their parasitic squad causes a depression. Given the ease with which they cooked the housing market we would best be advised to give the notion serious consideration, however dubious it is.

Posted 4:43 PM by Gene

I must explain my first post of the day. BIGMEDIA and its superefficient megaphone the Web turn humans into corporations. We love corporate America so much we can't help similarly loving people who are corporations. That was why I got so mad at St. Timothy's sendoff -- the man had the power of millions and of his millions, and it is not clear that he always used it for the commonweal. Perhaps that too harshly colored my reaction to THE GOLFING MACHINE. But he starts out with 100-percent intensity; either he grits his teeth or pumps his fist. And he ascends from there. We have seldom seen him smile; we are sure he's never said a word for Bartlett's. Lately he got peeved because he lost in a tournament. The man's datebook is full of engagements with CEOs who similarly get peeved at sand traps. It is impossible to think his COURAGEOUS achievement at the Open wasn't hubris, a way of showing off to his constituents in the corner offices. He must surely have the most high-powered medical help; didn't they say anything? Or do they occupy the corner offices too? Moreover he played against the greatest of underdogs; judging from the fan reaction his latest win was hardly that welcome an occasion. Perhaps in this ultracynical age we must turn all great achievers into louts. Imagine how we'd react to Gen. Washington and his false teeth and tantrums -- Politico would have a FIELD DAY. Or Honest Abe with his slovenly manner and reputedly high-pitched voice. But FDR was the most mediagenic of leaders, and aside from a certain kind of con-SER-va-tive his rep hasn't suffered. (JFK's has, but in no small measure as people look for excuses for his assassination.) In the lack of evidence otherwise it's hard to believe great leaders couldn't summon the guts not to wilt in the bright lights.

Which raises another question: were athletes always ciphers? Think of the Babe, who ate to excess and drank to excess and womanized to excess, but he smiled, and he liked the fans, and he seemed human. So bad PR alone can't explain why we hold public figures in low regard. Yes we hope TGM can fully resume his career, but let us not connive ourselves into thinking it's for anyone's good but his own.

P. S.

The news will silence those who doubted how badly Woods was hurt, some even questioning whether the world No 1 was exaggerating his pain for the gallery.

In an interview with German television before this week’s BMW International, Retief Goosen questioned whether Woods really was in serious trouble.

The South African said: “It just seemed that when he hit a bad shot he was in pain and on his good shots he wasn’t. I believe if he was really injured he would not have played.”

Goosen has since insisted he was speaking light-heartedly and his manager Guy Kinnings said that he would be among the first to wish Woods a speedy recovery.

Maybe he isn't THAT beloved.

Posted 3:43 PM by Gene

The company that wrecked the trolley biz has decided it's still in love with oil after all.

Thanks again, CLUNKER!

Posted 12:12 PM by Gene

Meantime, another bunch of guns-for-hire wins another championship for another bunch of let-them-eat-cake luxury-suite CEOs, and we don't care.

And we would say that regardless of the team, or the sport.

Posted 11:55 AM by Gene

We ask again: Was it "COURAGE" or was it HUBRIS?

We remember an interview with a golf magazine in which Lee Trevino jealously predicted TGM's back would give out from all his hard swinging. Who'd have figured his back was in his knees?

"My doctors assure me with the proper rehabilitation and training, the knee will be strong and there will be no long-term effects."??? [SIC!!!!!]

We HOPE so.

Posted 6:39 PM by Gene

And a few doors away on the home page comes this depressing story, for which a different link: Legs has died. She was beautiful, she could dance, she danced with Fred, she danced to "Dancing in the Dark" with Fred (we have not forgotten the "Broadway Melody" and Gene, let us say that, not at all), she was married to the fine singer named Tony Martin who was as impossibly attractive as she, and now we know we don't have sex symbols in the movies anymore, although that should be obvious to anyone who isn't an ad-blurbist, or an idiot 12-year-old.

Posted 6:37 PM by Gene

Judge OKs $11M settlement of V. Tech tragedy

When will these Clark Kents stop misusing the word TRAGEDY?!?!?

Posted 6:35 PM by Gene

We think Congresspoop Jefferson should run for reelection; after all, he can always tout his legal troubles and fine craft with freezers as "experience."

(Via ASSPress; posted at 7:20 p.m.)

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

A Senator "didn't know" he got a nice cushy perk from the Jack Valenti of Mortgages? Isn't that part of the job description?

Posted 4:56 PM by Gene

One of Col. Zell's LEFTENANTS (no pun intended) has fifteen great ideas to get people to read newspapers, meaning default isn't far off.

Oh---check WGN-AMERICA. They have blown it up and rating impact has been immediate!

They blew up WGN? I imagine it would be.

Maybe it's time for Col. Zell to blame ROMY too.

Posted 4:42 PM by Gene

And that stories on this topic seem almost as numerous as tears for ST. TIMOTHY indicates that to our SUPERMEN of the press the notion the CLATCH just fired 1,400 is sheer FICTION.

Posted 4:39 PM by Gene

Blast in Baghdad kills 51

Are Democrats smiling?

Posted 4:34 PM by Gene

In the latest PEOPLE WARNER news, the company is about to depart from behind a tree after having just created a new masterwork, and our favorite P. R. guy Rog isn't that impressed:

Hathaway, who is fine, doesn’t have the mature sensuality of Barbara Feldon, and the couple feels out of balance.

TRANSLATION: We've all been dumbed down quite a bit since the sixties, and frauds like PEOPLE WARNER are intent to finish the job.

P. S. The TWXSTERS must be angry; Rog says they aimed it at "idiot 12-year-olds", which may be older and smarter than the targets.

P. P. S. at 6:55 p.m. Meantime SUMNER has lifted His leg again. I am SICK of making bathroom references to media companies! (No way were we going to post this separately after the Legs news.)

Posted 4:25 PM by Gene

Even as our mental daze over the fathomless loss of a TOWERING FIGURE IN AMERICAN JERNALISM slowly wears off, by gum if we news hacks don't come up with a new instant cliché: THE GOLFING MACHINE had COURAGE. Yes, COURAGE. The COURAGE to play before admiring millions on a banged-up knee so He could PROVE something. And what did He prove? His IMMORTALITY. Never mind that in a certain way He may have been just showing off. News hacks love to misuse words. Courage to them is a friend making millions or one of their excessively like-minded demagogues sticking it to the right. Courage isn't the soldier in Iraq, the firefighter in the Bronx, the emergency workers staring down floods in the Midwest -- no; it is the friend of CEOs adding another scene to His HIGHLIGHT REEL.

Talk of athuhletes having COURAGE should have died long before the Four Horsemen, and at least in their day it was understandable as they were mostly ordinary people, and there was no ESPN. Now it's just another excuse to try to pervert dictionaries. I HATE NEWS HACKS!!!!!

P. S. And news hacks have further trouble distinguishing between COURAGE and HUBRIS.

Posted 4:23 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: We couldn't have lost our high-powered jobs at The Paper of Re-CORD without a great deal of help from ourselves, but of course we're always happy to SHARE THE CREDIT.

Posted 4:21 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: When banging the table about TAXES!!!!! a con-SER-va-tive may find it easy to tell an unintentional untruth, especially "(via Instapundit, via Kaus)".

Posted 8:11 PM by Gene

It didn't take long for Vegas to turn unhip, did it!

Don't commodities traders have other money to burn?

Posted 8:03 PM by Gene

And speaking of heroes, we're surprised this one wasn't thus lionized before.

(Via Yahoo! Plugs -- er, Entertainment)

Posted 7:20 PM by Gene

FINALLY, THE LAST WORD:

On days like this, I, too, hate the press.

And on many other days besides.

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

FLASH!

Al Gore to endorse Obama

This could win him the election! Pfffffffffffffft!

Posted 3:10 PM by Gene

OH oh, GE BANCORP may have to sell more than refrigerators!

BRING BACK LEGENDARY WELCH!!!!! He wants it.

The $284.6 billion market capitalization of GE — the only original component of the Dow Jones industrial average to remain in that indicator — is now just $15 billion above that of Microsoft (MSFT), the No. 3 U.S. company by market value. ExxonMobil (XOM) is No. 1.

BUGDOM is NEXT!

Posted 2:52 PM by Gene

Which is stupider: Fred "McLaughlin" Barnes's choice of Tom "Color-Coded" Ridge or MS. TRAVERS's suggestion of Jeff "MENSA" Greenfield?

Posted 2:51 PM by Gene

I SHALL go to Korea!

Posted 2:41 PM by Gene

Jug Ears is back with a Web site. Jug Ears was a Web site before anyone invented the term, complete with sound bites and charts and me-me-me -- but then he didn't need a computer to be a loose-cannon "populist" crackpot.

Why isn't that clown investing in commodities? Or is he?

Posted 2:37 PM by Gene

We are sorry to hear Queen of Mean's dog will get only $2 million, which means it will still eat better than some people.

Posted 2:16 PM by Gene

The bad news: Belly Kisser (thanks in no small part to his friends Dwight and Co.) is making money.

The good news:

Russia is currently struggling with 15% inflation, the highest rate among the so-called BRIC countries - Brazil, Russia, India, and China. Last week, the central bank raised interest rates in an attempt to curb surging inflation.

While Russia exports many commodities, it is a net food importer and global food prices have risen steeply in recent months. Food prices account for more than 30% of the consumer price index basket in Russia. [HA! HA! HA!]

"In the short run, it's manageable," Brandt said. "In the long term, it poses a considerable threat to Medvedev's [SIC] promises to steer Russia towards a more market-based system. Inflation is really hurting a lot of people who depend on the state."

And isn't oil the state in Russia?

Posted 10:43 AM by Gene

Some missteps can't be avoided. In 1996, Dole's campaign was permanently damaged by the image of the then GOP nominee falling off a stage in Chico, Calif. It was a stumble that wasn't Dole's fault, but rather a sign of poor advance work. Reaching out to grasp a voter's hand, Dole leaned against an unsecured rail. The fall made it into a few articles, and then was replayed again and again on TV. Unfairly, it made Dole look feeble and undermined his case for experience—a reminder of why McCain should be careful about following in Dole's footsteps.

Say, what can we do THIS time to elect our friend?

Posted 10:22 AM by Gene

Speaking of clever, somebody's come up with a few excuses as to why the partnership of Dwights and Putins is a good thing. Saying that high oil will cause people to lose weight is like saying a famine will cure obesity. And we now know higher mass-transit ridership means higher maintenance costs -- not neglecting their higher fuel bills.

Do you donate money to the Carnegie Endowment, Dwight, as a penance?

Posted 10:19 AM by Gene

Clever, Messiah: You'll enforce media antitrust while leaving content alone. Cle-VER!

Let me guess who's financing Your campaign!

Posted 10:14 AM by Gene

Unfortunately, NO SNITCHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, ghetto crime does have victims. That this boy is the blessed participant in a mentoring program should make us remember hundreds of others aren't.

Posted 10:08 AM by Gene

Gee thanks again, DWIGHT, for the pretty pickle your avarice has put us in!

Posted 8:43 AM by Gene

And in Branson East, a world irrelevant of its own account, the proprietors try to get Latinos to build theme parks in place of old folks, but giving seven awards to a touristy revival (including Best Scenic Design of a Musical, Best Sound Design of a Musical, Best Lighting Design of a Musical and Best Costume Design of a Musical) hints that it's going to be old folks in Branson East for a while.

And that this revival won almost as many awards as the original is a cri de coeur for inspiration, something Latinos and young people and reggaetón-meisters may not have.

Posted 8:40 AM by Gene

As movie ad-blurbists ponder why their ranks are justifiably thinning, a eulogy for the medium they tried to sell:

"Have you gone to an art house lately? Some screens are literally the size of the flat screens people have in their living rooms right now," Mr. Atkinson said, referring to the shrinking marketplace for independent [sic] films. "For those people who are searching for films made for adults, there's almost no reason to go to the theater anymore. It's reaching the point where there will be six big movies released a year, all made for a half-billion dollars, that everyone will see on a single day, and other than that, people will just stay home and watch Netflix. It's already happening."

(Via ArtsJournal)

Posted 8:38 AM by Gene

Prediction: THE GOLFING MACHINE wins by ten strokes.

P. S. One. Another tournament ends anticlimactically, despite the playoff.

Posted 8:36 AM by Gene

russert coverage excessive

Nuf said, and NUF SAID.

Posted 10:06 AM by Gene

Nuclear Ring Reportedly Had Advanced Weapon Design

Glad to see our Pakistani "allies" are thinking of us again.

Posted 6:09 PM by Gene

Elsewhere in the Big Double-A Scribble:

"A promotion that gets people to throw things at the TV -- unique," said Greg Wilson, creative director at Detroit agency Driven Communications.

Now we understand why PEOPLE WARNER gave up on the WEATHER CHANNEL -- too many splotches on the screen.

Posted 6:08 PM by Gene

Somehow conducting a poll to say the NBA is rigged may not be the most credible thing to do, but that doesn't negate its credibility.

Posted 5:10 PM by Gene

"Tiny Tim." Stay classy, Huffies.

And did THEY know he would die so suddenly? Or are you upset that anyone would have DARED criticize the beloved St. Timothy, even beforehand?

I am SICK of this veneration en masse, but those who harbor skeptical thoughts will gain their revenge when this revered force of truth becomes history's footnote, as he will.

And here waft the first tendrils of RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE, MUTINY MUTINY MUTINY.

I am restoring my previously deleted post.

P. S. And HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE.

Posted 10:27 AM by Gene

Meantime we noted this story in -- aptly enough -- the MESS:

'Lucky' girl hit by lightning, then wins lottery

We are happy for the young woman, nevertheless (and I hate to obsess over this) it reminds me of Third Coming: He was struck by some sort of political lightning, then won a lottery and became our Chief Scorekeeper. This is why I despise our ruling superiors -- they got where they are by luck, or conniving, and almost never from merit, and to the last person lack the saving grace of humility to realize how tenuous their happiness is.

Posted 10:19 AM by Gene

The Chief Scorekeeper. Here is another reason the death of the Third Coming of Christ rankles. We had this Chief Scorekeeper who arbitrarily decided Hillary was finished. At the time people criticized Him for deciding the election. Now these same people, who are suck-ups at heart, have collapsed in a pile of grief. Our politics stinks because news hacks must anoint Chief Scorekeepers, and many others whose love of country and the people is in serious doubt. The nationwide paroxysm of anguish proves yet again our superiors have no connection with the peons, and have no reason to connect.

And doesn't the term Chief Scorekeeper have the vague odor of the Mafia, and of desperados notching their guns?

Happily the international press has come to a different conclusion -- it seems hardly to have reported on the earth-shattering loss at all.

Posted 10:18 AM by Gene

McCain & Powell? How about Obama & Powell?

How about it, Colin? Why not this one chance to stick it to -- to serve your country.

Posted 9:10 PM by Gene

After trying to read 16,000 comments on the Times' Web site praising Tim which caused my computer to freeze I decided to at least temporarily remove my post. Everyone says he had uncommon kindness and decency. Had I known the man I'd have done so too. It's just that I get so cranky when 5 million people say the same thing, and the Times calls him a "towering" figure as though he were John Peter Zenger or Joseph Pulitzer -- or Adolph Ochs, and this is the guy who unelected Hillary, and he was buddy-buddies with Drunken Slob until it got inconvenient, and he was a central part of a news culture that grows ever more dysfunctional, and it's hard for me to find kindness and decency in a system now the definition of unkind and indecent, a system so rank it would perfume the sweetest rose with a skunk smell. And I believe we should cut public figures no slack. Police officers and firefighters and soldiers put their lives on the line for low pay. All the broadcast news hack does is put his mouth on the line for millions, and his foot in his mouth for more, and such is the business's amnesia his cumulative faults vanish even as we're stuck with the ever-aggregating burden of their memory. So all right, Timmy was the salt of the earth, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa, but that doesn't mean we forget his business forever pours salt in our psychic wounds. And I hope this is the last I have to write about this.

And yes, I believe Little Jeffy and Jeff Zucks will replace him with the Tantrum Twin because he too has a big booming voice.

P. S. As might be expected The Wiki's Tim bio is far longer than the other preceding greats', a clear sign its Achilles heel is the now, and that will be its downfall.

P. P. S. Sixteen months ago Anna died, and the jernalistic overkill is now just one more chain in the news biz' long line of embarrassed silences. Her Wiki bio is longer than Tim's. Someday the site will resemble the loose-leaf supplements in the Book of Knowledge. The VITAPHONE!

Posted 4:37 PM by Gene

How often can print rags do stories touting the same old "WORLD'S MOST INFLUENTIAL BLOGS" over and over again?

As often as they like.

(Via IWantMedia)

Posted 3:36 PM by Gene

Stunning news: Tim Russert has died of a heart attack (although not entirely unexpected with his type-A interviewing.) Are Little Jeffy and Jeff Zucks tone deaf enough to promote one of the TANTRUM TWINS to his post?

(Via NYTimes.com via Marketwatch.com; link at 3:47 p.m.)

P. S. One hates to talk in this manner but if I'm to judge from two Corner gasps (both from extremely profitable writers who pundit too much) this will occasion the type of uncontrolled self-parodying media mourning we last saw when the Second Coming of Christ died -- and Russert attended the funeral, which should remind us he was an insider, and part of the ruling crowd, and the ruling crowd may not always have our best interests in mind, to put it mildly.

And let us not forget it was scarcely a month ago when Russert unelected Hillary.

In other words, by tomorrow afternoon we'll be mad as hell again.

P. P. S. "A TOWERING FIGURE IN AMERICAN JOURNALISM." A half hour and already it's entered the hagiography phase.

("TOWERING" has since given way on the Times' home page to "prominent", suggesting even our superiors may have an inkling this could go too far.)

Posted 3:21 PM by Gene

We hope this is the correct verdict; God knows fame has stood in the way of many others.

Although it can cut both ways, as the tale of Ronald Reagan's labor secretary showed.

Posted 3:17 PM by Gene

The Jack Valenti of Mortgages had lots of friends in high places, and despite the less than optimal outcome bribery for legislation never ends.

Other participants in the V.I.P. program included former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Alphonso Jackson, former Secretary of Health and Human Services Donna Shalala, and former U.N. ambassador and assistant Secretary of State Richard Holbrooke. Jackson was deputy H.U.D. secretary in the Bush administration when he received the loans in 2003. Shalala, who received two loans in 2002, had by then left the Clinton administration for her current position as president of the University of Miami. She is scheduled to receive a Presidential Medal of Freedom on June 19.

And a reward richly deserved!

(Via The Mess)

Posted 10:45 AM by Gene

The Irish have rejected the Treaty of PCDom -- you know, the one that would have subjected Europe to further regulations on the length of bananas and the width of potatoes, and would have made abortions legal in Ireland, despite the government's denials, meaning no doubt it was true -- so the triumph of Islam may have to wait a while.

Posted 10:31 AM by Gene

You know how TV shows have "billboards"? As in "PIECE OF CRUD! BROUGHT to YOU byyyyyyyyyy...." WELL, I propose MOVIES have billboards -- as in "MAMMA MIA! BROUGHT to YOU byyyyyyyyyy IKEA!"

Posted 8:54 AM by Gene

Another EPOCHAL example of political oratory, from the Red-Light Man:

Having tried charts, speeches and even all-nighters to protest what he sees as Republican obstructionism in the Senate, New York Democratic Sen. Charles Schumer took to quoting British songstress Amy Winehouse Thursday, hoping to drive home his message.

“It’s sort of like that song,” said Schumer speaking to reporters Tuesday afternoon, "Democrats say, 'Let’s legislate,' and [Republicans] just say, 'No, no no.'”

Winehouse — whose struggles with substance abuse caused a media firestorm — won six Grammy’s last year on the strength of her song “Rehab,” which containes the hook Schumer took such glee in repeating.

“They need rehab, I guess,” said Schumer....

I guess you need brains, Red-Light -- or maybe a dose of what makes Joe "Ask-Not" Biden such a great speaker.

Posted 8:36 AM by Gene

Col. Zell's lost his publisher at the Trib!

That's a mighty fine replica of the Titanic you bought there, Col.! Who knew it had rats?

And somebody at the Sun-Times must have been gloating; he repeated the second and third grafs -- for good measure!

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:27 AM by Gene

The very Zeitgeisty very CW rag that ran the fake Hitler diaries and the fake Koran in the toilet is hiring the fake Steve Jobs.

Congratulations, JonBoy! You've won the lottery! Now can you use the proceeds to rehire the people who quit?

Posted 8:17 AM by Gene

When they are not taking the bribes that aren't bribes, our Congresspoops write vitally needed pieces of -- legislation, like this one proposing broadcasters and cable networks turn down the volume on commercials.

We've got an idea, Anna -- give the broadcasters and cable magnates a HUGE tax break for doing it!

Posted 7:55 AM by Gene

Speaking of Romy:

Media and Critics Split Over Sexism in Clinton Coverage

Wait a second! Wasn't this a case of two really super-duper-duper good guys? And how the one super-duper-duper good guy was simply more electable than the other? Seeing how we had to defend our great perk of ruling the universe we HAD to treat the other super-duper-duper good guy unfairly. Hillary can respect that -- whatever her unelectability she's still a super-duper-duper good guy, just like us. And if the coverage was unfair, well, we admit even perfect people like us may have a latent streak of racismsexismhomophobismIslamophobism -- so whip us with a wet noodle!

In short, when you think the hacks are full of it, they fill themselves with some more of it.

Posted 7:48 AM by Gene

Yahoo `Damaged Goods' After Yang Fails to Revive Microsoft Deal

And how would it have differed from the Yahoo! before the deal?

Posted 7:47 AM by Gene

Congress is still taking the bribes they don't call bribes as usual.

Posted 7:41 AM by Gene

We have learned the sad story of a pop-mu-SIC cri-TIC forced to resign when his Hearstie overlords discovered his writing was full of ectoplasm. It must be a stupid writer who can have his column ghosted; even in this day when blogging beats all, who would not want a prominent spot in a dinosaur newspaper...for pay? We'd guess the man has excuses; he was doing "translations", for one thing -- his beat was Mexican music -- and besides he sounds like just another of the species of pop-mu-SIC cri-TIC who writes all too much and thinks all too little; imagine the exemplars of the breed, geniuses like Robert "Over the" Hilburn and Jim DeRogatis. Uncovering this fool will not stop the copying and transcribing of CW that goes on all the time in pop-mu-SIC criti-CISM, one news industry creature that should go extinct.

(Revised 8:20 a.m. We thought ArtsJournal posted it first but Romy can never be denied.)

Posted 7:36 AM by Gene

We wonder that "Not-So-Smart" Alex Kozinski isn't a HERO among con-SER-va-tives. He should certainly be a HERO to MS. TRAVERS -- he is a SOUTH PARK CONSERVATIVE. "[I]ntellectual rigor, writing flourishes and an outlandish — some say boorish — personality" -- is this not THE GREATEST COMIC MASTERPIECE OF ALL TIME to the core? Now let us ponder if the LALA Times hadn't brought the proud judge's, er, fancy to the public eye. What if he had turned this into a Dreyfus case and let a pornographer go free because of his own, er, love of cows? Possibly even SOUTH PARK CONSERVATIVES would have fumed a little, but then they could have excused themselves by saying here is a great con-SER-va-tive jurist, continuing a proud tradition of patriotic American iconoclasm.

In short, con-SER-va-tives would have confirmed Judge Not-So-Smart Alex is a pervert.

Posted 7:34 AM by Gene

My mother died on Saturday, and due to my total incompetence (my answering machine was busted, and though I bought a new one three weeks ago I hadn't installed it, as I only get solicitations and wrong numbers) I only found out on Wednesday, and I'd been busy making such little preparations for the burial I hadn't the inclination to post. Though I generally do not write personal entries I will have one for the weekend.

Posted 6:44 PM by Gene

McCain Criticizes CEOs' Pay in Speech to Businesses

Gekko Kudlow hangs his head in shame.

Posted 6:03 PM by Gene

Ars Technica tweaks the cable biz -- and friends of the Republican National Committee are ANGRY!

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

The redo of the landmark '60s TV spy spoof may ride Steve Carell's star power to major B.O., at least initially. But it's nothing you want to take off your shoe and call home about.

No, given the bowel movements THE CONSPIRACY grunts out we're more apt to do this:

Posted 5:32 PM by Gene

I'm going to India next month and I want to give this message that all religions are equal.

Alas the Pope may not want to acknowledge some religions are more equal than others.

Posted 5:29 PM by Gene

Which further inspires us: which candidate will be first with a tantrum on the campaign trail?

And why are we betting it isn't Boobs McKeating?

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

Merrill "McTrough" McPeak, Wesley -- hey Messiah, where's George McClellan?

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

Okay, Junior Birdmen, maybe you would feel a little grumpy, but maybe you wouldn't feel so grumpy if a few of your comrades hadn't given a sky-high taxi ride to nukes over the country.

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

What will Kirk Kevork -- Kerkorian do with 20 million Ford shares, except what he's done with auto shares in the past: sell them?

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

Operation Lets Muslim Women Reclaim Virginity

Presumably so they won't get beaten by their loving relatives if they prematurely lost it.