Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

We are sorry to see Roger Penske has given up on acquiring Saturn. We wonder if "the future supply of vehicles beyond the supply period" has something to do with a certain automotive CEO we call His Omnipotence. Perhaps he didn't want to see a car company falling into private hands. Or maybe Roger saw another Oldsmobile, which Saturn had already become. Whatever it is, it is sad.

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 3:52 PM by Gene

One more proof that "any big business that calls itself "international" gives itself carte blanche to commit treason." This is not treason per se, and certainly the touchy-feely we-want-to-sell-our-goods treason may not be treason, but any company that sells thus sets itself up to commit full-blown treason.

Posted 1:40 PM by Gene

HOLLYWOOD LEFT BANDS TOGETHER TO FIGHT POLANSKI ARREST!!!!!!!!!! [Fighting overemphasis added]

Fortunately, not everyone opposing the genius AHTEEST is a right-winger.

This sort of claptrap makes us not take SLIME's "news" outfit entirely seriously.

Posted 1:34 PM by Gene

We see THE NEW RONALD REAGAN has turned over twenty Palestinian prisoners in exchange for a videotape, which presumably will mean the JEWISH DUTCH will turn over 2,000 prisoners to get...a dead body?

Wehell, as the original Ronny said in another context, there they go again!

Posted 1:16 PM by Gene

Well look what happened here! If the loonies keep buying we'll be at the sacred 10,000 before the day is out! Maybe 11,000! Sky's the limit!!!!!

MORONS.

P. S. Finviz.com is one heck of a site. Imagine what it will be like twenty years hence.

Posted 10:31 AM by Gene

Perhaps we got a bit too excited about His Omnipotence's presence before the GAMES geezers -- after all,

Brazil's president, Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Madrid's royal family and Tokyo's prime minister also are expected to lobby on behalf of their candidate cities before Friday's IOC vote.

Then again, they weren't born to save the world.

Posted 10:29 AM by Gene

Foreclosures jumped 16% in Q2 to 2.9% of all serviced mortgages, delinquencies hit 8.5% of all mortgages, while home retention actions such as loan mods were up by 21.7%, according to a report today from the OTS. Report says data continues to reflect "negative trends influenced by weakness in economic conditions including high unemployment and declining home prices in weak housing markets."

DOW 60,0 -- oops, not today.

Posted 9:13 AM by Gene

Remember Robert McFarlane? You want to? Last we heard of him, a long time ago, he was helping out with the mess called Iran-Contra. Now he's getting money from Sudan -- as a "consultant". Some people just will never learn -- and don't want to.

Posted 9:10 AM by Gene

In tight times, Congress boosts its budget

...so it can boost its friends' budgets -- and shrink ours.

Posted 9:08 AM by Gene

Where would PEOPLE WARNER, PEOPLE INC., PEOPLE and PEOPLE.COM be without cute press releases?

Posted 9:06 AM by Gene

The Usefulness of Cranks: Is Environmentalism a Natural Ally of Liberalism?

NO COMMENT.

Posted 9:02 AM by Gene

Attendance declines for 20 MLB teams this year [Home-page hed]

Not enough rich people.

Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

More than 100 film industry figures have now signed a petition calling for the release of Polanski, the acclaimed director of Chinatown, Rosemary's Baby and The Pianist.

They include leading Hollywood figures Martin Scorcese, Woody Allen, David Lynch, Wim Wenders, Pedro Almodovar, Tilda Swinton and Monica Bellucci....

On the Los Angeles Times website only one in 30 comments from members of the public supported Polanski and most called for him to face justice. [Emphasis added]

NUF SAID.

Posted 8:38 AM by Gene

No! It CAN'T be. Chicago's turnips might pull the plug on the Permanent Mayor's cryonic chamber?!?

Posted 8:34 AM by Gene

PRAISE THE LORD AND PASS THE AMMUNITION: The auto makers are back to financing junk television!!!!!

BUT:

Consumers hoping for a price war, though, are likely to be disappointed. For a change, it's the products, not the deals, that will be getting all the attention.

Simply put, carmakers don't have much inventory to sell at the moment, which means prices are likely to hold steady.

I guess we'll find out if financing junk television is enough to move the meter with people who aren't feeling so affluent.

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

It is getting quite obvious His Omnipotence will never learn from his mistakes.

Why? He doesn't make mistakes.

Posted 5:07 PM by Gene

Now the public will NEVER learn the truth of SUMNER's persecution of ONE OF AMERICA'S GREAT...ANCHORS.

Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!

Posted 3:47 PM by Gene

So much for the guvment getting further into the health-care biz.

Posted 2:58 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



This is PRECISELY what that OLD FOGIE the Prince always has in mind.

This is also the formerly Great Britain's version of TILTED ARC.

And it's named DARWIN CENTER, which proves STARCHITECTS continue to DEVOLVE.

Posted 1:14 PM by Gene

The Detroit News and Detroit Free Press are in trouble, but they deserve it: for one thing, they spawned Mitch Albom....

Them's fightin' words!

And TRUE.

Oh, and does "a lot of newspapers just stink" apply to newsrags too?

Posted 1:02 PM by Gene

Con-SERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-va-tives will be MAAAAAAAAAAAD: The Federal Reserve is proposing a regulation prohibiting credit cards to under-21s, meaning when the GOP comes back it will give away cards to infants, drunks, druggies, dogs, cats, horses, gerbils, squid, and other living creatures with no incomes -- in short, what the nationalized banking biz did before it charged off its excesses to Uncle Sucker.

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 12:53 PM by Gene

For some unknown reason The Daily Kaplan, whose parent KAPLAN, INC. already employs a million pundits, is having a pundit contest. I can see it now -- hundreds of thousands of entries swamping the four young interns who wouldn't know good writing from a hole in the ground (from whence most of the finalists' will come), the winner decided by overpaid scribblers in pro bono mode going eenie-meenie-minie-moe and thinking it's a decision. In short, the blind leading the blind choosing another blind man. With luck the winner will last six months. I'd submit something but I'm used to sending e-mails to myself, so I'll just type for free as usual, sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Posted 10:52 AM by Gene

The Federal Deposit Insurance Corp., seeking to replenish its fund as banks fail at the fastest pace in 17 years, today proposed that lenders prepay fees through 2012 and shelved any further special assessments.

Lenders would prepay their FDIC premiums for the fourth quarter and next three years on Dec. 30, generating about $45 billion, according to an outline of the staff’s recommendations. The agency raised its estimate for bank-failure costs to $100 billion through 2013, from $70 billion, according to the staff.

DOW 50,000!!!!!

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 10:40 AM by Gene

CLIMATE CHANGE 'KILLING 10 PER CENT OF WORLD'S ANIMALS'!!!!!!!!!! [Very globally warm overemphasis added]

When did we stop taking such heds seriously?

Perhaps when we realized too many scientists are like



THIS.

Posted 9:42 AM by Gene

RENDELLISM comes to the North End of Boston:

Alarmed by a burgeoning late-night bar scene, and businesses seeking more outdoor seating and later hours, concerned residents are fighting to contain the drinking and carousing. In recent months, they have fended off two new outdoor patios slated for Salem Street restaurants, bristled at a deli’s proposal to sell takeout until 4 a.m., and criticized the owners of a new beer and wine shop for reneging on their pledge to sell groceries.

Underlying the tension is a fundamental struggle over what the historic neighborhood will become: a late-night playground for 20-somethings, or a haven for families like those who have lived there for centuries.

Well that's an easy one: with RENDELLISM, the twenty-somethings win!

Posted 9:35 AM by Gene

Speaking of, as neither side will ever admit, both sides have someone they want to censor, and they've amassed huge armies to do so. That said we cannot exactly feel sorry for, say, the former Don of the House because his lobbying came too close to his politics:

“It was the best-paying job I ever had. It was a better-paying job than I ever thought I’d have,” he said. “It had been my anticipation and expectation that I would remain in that firm, in that job, at that salary range, for the next 10 years.”

What a tragedy there, Don -- especially when a big K Street salary can be such an obvious gloating expression of a pol's contempt for his former voting peons.

Posted 9:34 AM by Gene

Horowitz's talks about Islam and what he calls "Islamo-Fascism" have been controversial, with many saying that he distorts history in a way that denigrates all Muslims. But he is also a popular speaker with conservative groups, who regularly bring him to campuses to speak. On some campuses, his appearances prompt protests, but at other campuses he ends up largely speaking to those who agree with him.

Which helps the discourse on both sides.

Posted 8:49 AM by Gene

Obama is our version of a Supreme Leader.

Which is precisely why the hacks elected him, and which is why even people like Dick Cohen can have second thoughts now.

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

We care neither one way or another how the GAMES bid goes. We don't understand, however, why His Omnipotence must make it a national priority. He could get a few people temporarily mad if he wins, and they might not forget that easily. And if he loses? One more self-exculpation for news hacks to plaster in their pages and Web sites.

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

Swiss Move Against Polanski Outrages His Sympathizers

Which would include, oh, only about 99.999 percent of news hacks and other media types.

Look, we understand, it's long ago and the victim has forgiven all, but shouldn't ONE OF THE GREATEST DIRECTORS IN THE UNIVERSE'S HISTORY pay a little more than a slap on the wrist?

Posted 5:13 PM by Gene

AwwwwwwwwSHUCKS! ARCHDaily! says that Lego house has to be demolished because the owner couldn't find a buyer.

Not even PEOPLE WARNER?

Well at least the bricks didn't go to waste; they're heading to charity.

Posted 12:10 PM by Gene

Fakes in movie-poster collecting? You wonder why it took so long.

Or maybe it didn't.

(Via AHTSJournal)

Posted 12:04 PM by Gene

A Web site that attracts maybe 15,000 visitors a month and a movie that did $369,000 on its first weekend are two reasons this is not important.

Posted 11:18 AM by Gene

OBAMA!!!!! Stock Advance!!!!! Persists on Money Fund Hoarding

Americans holding $3.5 trillion in cash are giving money managers increasing confidence that the stock market rally under President Barack Obama will continue through the end of the year. [Bullish overemphasis added]

The OBAMA RECOVERY is here!

Posted 11:07 AM by Gene

We are sorry to learn that JUNIOR's Rhino division is for all practical purposes kaput. It wasn't perfect -- it engaged in redundant repackagings by the thousands -- but it brought vast quantities of fine old music back into circulation, and now one can fear a good chunk of them will disappear under the long tail, never to return.

(Via Billboard.biz)

Posted 10:54 AM by Gene

And as Jeff Jacoby writes, there is NO protecting children from the baleful effects of the one-eyed Cyclops, which means more reason for more CEOs to give more money to their ad fiefdoms -- and more reason for parents to abdicate THEIR duties.

(Caveat -- he IS a con-SER-va-tive, and this was linked on NRO)

Posted 10:51 AM by Gene

The media money burn -- BUYERS, those true believers in fairy tales, the most useless of shillers this side of Wall Street's sales -- ANALYSTS, hopehopehope and praypraypray that their latest fairy tale of network audiences going upupUP comes true, so they can entice the brain-dead within the advertising fiefdoms to burn still more money on the TUBE, but judging from a few of the numbers this story may not have a happy ending.

Posted 9:44 AM by Gene

Why we NEED The Daily Beast:

Posted 6:13 PM by Gene

Well, the Lions finally won one after all this time, giving hope to the world's sad sacks.

Posted 5:55 PM by Gene

Donald Fisher, co-founder of The Gap, the store that helped make jeans boring, has died. RIP.

P. S. We mean absolutely no disrespect to him or Mr. Safire. They were good at what they did but they must both go down in history for one thing, as most public figures do.

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

William Safire, who gave America nattering nabobs of negativism and probably could never quite explain why, has died. Tricky Dick was exceedingly lucky though because to him something called nabobs once resided in Red Channels. RIP.

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!

Controversy is surrounding the latest design of the 400 meter tower for Gazprom, a Russian energy company. Designed by RMJM, the tower, known as Okhta Center, will dominate the skyline, towering over the spire of St. Peter and Paul Cathedral. The new design may actually become the tallest building in Europe, which begs the question that even though we have the capability of building taller and larger, should that be our priority?

The time will come when STARCHITECTS will design towers 10,000 feet high and a block square. Likely only STARCHITECTS will want to inhabit them.

Posted 5:19 PM by Gene

If it's Sunday it must also be BIG DOUBLE-A-SCRIBBLE TIME:

1. Sony, Samsung Aim to Avoid TV Price War With Ad Efforts

Well that's easy; spend enough on advertising and we can both jack up the prices.

2. Can Twitter Rake in the Ads to Justify $1 Billion Valuation?

If we can get the CEOs to associate it with the NFL and the PGA our budget's the limit!

Although I think they may be a bit behind the curve by now.

3. With luck sponsored iPhone apps will become so numerous and so meaningless for their profusion CEOs will have to confront another reason not to burn their customers' money on ADVERTISING.

4. Mother Births New Model for 'Mass Roots' Marketing

TRANSLATION: Somehow, some way, the GREAT MARKETING GRASS GROWER IN THE SKY will still be in charge.

5. Census, With DraftFCB, to Blanket Country With $300 Million Push

Do I smell a BIGMEDIA STIMULUS?

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

Living as I must near 500 RENDELIS with liquor licenses I am forced every NFL Sunday to behold hundreds of young people wearing fake team uniforms. This annoys me no end because 1. Aren't those mercenaries rich enough?* and 2. A certain conformity gets people to do it. When I was young I wanted to know as many people I could provided they were interesting. Everybody wearing IGGLES shirts or SKINS shirts or STEELERS shirts or whoever's shirts speaks of people who are happy with their little tiny mindset and content to hang out with people who mutually endorse their eenie-weenie ways. Yes, I know Babbitt; it's unaccountably one of my favorite novels; but I am convinced America has far less social diversity than she used to, and that's a big reason we're in trouble. And let us not forget even in 1922 America still teemed with immigrants, and her cities were boiling melting pots; she didn't know PC, or DILBERTS, or anything near BIGMEDIA. And in the twenties professional football was associated with such wholesome pursuits as flagpole sitting and dance marathons, and thus acquired a smell, a smell washed clean by CEOs screaming of their fealty to the SUPER BOWL.

*Although happily for many of them the answer is NO.

Posted 3:48 PM by Gene

A profound tribute from Christopher Hitchens to ED MURROW and his sidekick SEN. FRED ALLEN:

A liberal joke, at present, is no laughing matter.

Posted 9:45 AM by Gene

Some PEOPLE WARNER shareholder says the TWXSTERS are selling PEOPLE INC.

The media company in July reported its second-quarter operation income fell to $1.18 billion, down 2% from the same period a year ago. Operation income in its publishing segment tumbled to $102 million from $218 million, down 53%.

[PEOPLE WARNER] couldn't be reached for comment.

How about, "You sure, Gordy?"

(Via Henry Honest)

Posted 9:36 AM by Gene

The Subprime Minister has one good eye that's deteriorating, he's (NOT?) taking stress meds, he's (NOT?) taking pain meds -- no wonder UnGreat Britain is in such terrific shape.

Posted 9:28 AM by Gene

Partisans and League of Nations buffs who believe sci-en-tists know all about global warming should ponder this:

Researchers were using LSD to explore treatment into everything from alcoholism and drug addiction to anxiety in cancer patients. But as notoriety of the drug spread, it became a polarizing issue among serious scientists, many of whom abandoned their research.

In 1966, the federal government made LSD illegal, and by the early 1970s, research into all psychedelic drugs in humans had come to a halt, although some scientists continued to study the drugs in animals.

"What poisoned the well was the widespread abuse being promoted by scientists to the public," said Dr. John Mendelson, an associate professor of medicine and psychiatry at UCSF.... [Emphasis added]

So -- scientists sold LSD for trips, which had the happy effect on ending research into possible salutary uses. How sci-en-tif-ic.

Posted 9:15 AM by Gene

I guess saying "classic" three times justifies Roman having once had sex with a thirteen-year-old.

Most news stories can tell themselves in one graf. Anything beyond one graf is spinning, or selling.

P. S. on 9/30 at 12:10 p. m. We had to change the link because the ASSPress changed the original story. But we DID get a BYLINE. And so A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO EHHRNSSHT AND BRADLEY!

Posted 1:10 PM by Gene

We will not forget The Daily Kaplan's sa-LOHN because the news biz grants at least as many favors as ever, and every new favor is a new chance to scowl over it. When a cretin begins a press release with the words "M

ariah Carey could really use a nap" [SIC!] the client comes first -- and the reader comes LAST.



A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO ELYSA!

Posted 12:43 PM by Gene

Baucus Bill May End Up Being a Mere Rough Draft

Substitute "deke" and it means the same thing. This piece of -- legislation isn't going anywhere.

Posted 12:38 PM by Gene

When a Wacko can say THE MAN "isn't sexy at all", we count that as definitive.

(Via Tina, who runs too much of this sort of thing)

Posted 12:31 PM by Gene

The first public edi-TOR of The Paper of Re-CORD doesn't have much of a clue about what to do with Detroit either. Shrink the city, erect a green belt (or wall), go with trendy technology. Heck the Greater Pittsburgh Chamber of Commerce just boasted how that town shrunk its way to prosperity. Well, he gets one thing right:

If what was once the most prosperous manufacturing city in the nation has been brought to its knees, what does that say about our recent past? And if it can't find a way to get up, what does that say about our future?

Which makes me now wonder how useful it is to put TWXSTERS in a house in Detroit. All they can do is anecdotal reporting with streaks of hopefulness. What happened to NoMotown is an allegory, and it will take more than the jernalistic equivalent of good intentions to bring it back.

Posted 8:47 PM by Gene

This will SURELY make NUKEMAN capitulate:

U.S. Demands Iran Make Public All Nuclear Efforts

Posted 1:45 PM by Gene

Odd -- when a company's founder or chairman dies its stock goes way up, a reflection of the Wall Street Casino's love of God and man. Apparently homebuilders are an exception.

Posted 11:37 AM by Gene

Stalin was a good man. S'allright?

Союз нерушимый республик свободных....

Posted 9:43 AM by Gene

We need a Daily Kaplan "exclusive" to tell us His Omnipotence does not have the foggiest notion what he's doing on Gitmo?

Posted 9:34 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Kremlinology meets Beijing, with the same wishful thinking.

Posted 9:28 AM by Gene

More originality in the shoe biz:

Studio observers have said that the modern era of celebrity, with its 24-hour media coverage and scrutiny, makes the time ripe for a new "Star Is Born."

Ripe for a remake of a 72-year-old picture, a 55-year-old picture and a 33-year-old picture!

Posted 9:25 AM by Gene

While insisting she doesn't condone crime, Gotti calls Sicilian mobsters honorable men compared with hypocrites like corrupt politicians, perverted priests or crooked cops.

You know, given how our world "leaders" like to dish out wet noodles, I can understand that.

She also declares there is no difference between paying taxes to fund police and paying protection to the mob.

That, however, may go a little too far.

Posted 9:24 AM by Gene

OOOOOOOoooooooooooh, the G20 are so ANGRY at NUKEMAN for HIS "SECRET" NUKE FACILITY they're going to REBUKE him!!!!!

With MORE WET NOODLES!

Posted 5:56 PM by Gene

Somewhere that lummox EDDIE is exclaiming, "Ha! You can SEE the protesters!"

Posted 5:50 PM by Gene

Conservatives are rightly praising Bibi's speech, which alas condemns it to the same news ghetto as Van Jones and ACORN.

Posted 5:40 PM by Gene

Kaplan, Inc.'s DailyKaplanJr.com site posted this 940-word story with the very leading hed, "A Low Point in Black Entertainment: Why do African-Americans keep seeing Tyler Perry's movies?" But try though I might, reading it forwards, backwards, every other word, every other letter, it was still 940 words of angry gibberish, and gibberish from "a pop-culture critic via print, online and broadcast" [!!!!!], which is no doubt why it drew the minions of KAPLAN, INC.

Which company was down sixteen points today but revived, dammit.

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

Wayne Gretzky is but the latest to prove great players often make not-so-great coaches, even if they own part of the team.

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



Somebody tried to build a Moebius strip and got caught!

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

Today at a Rong-Aid I saw a young and not-unattractive woman buy a box of condoms, a pack of Camels, and a can of Red Bull. This would make a perfect assignment for a short-story class but instead I will leave it with no further comment.

Posted 1:45 PM by Gene

1:38 PM Bullish Barclays Capital (BCS) thinks stocks are underestimating the strength of the recovery and raised its estimate on U.S. GDP near a robust 5% growth for the next six months: "We believe that a combination of surprisingly strong economic news and policy settings still at 'crisis' levels is a potent brew that will keep driving risky asset prices higher."

WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the Dow's only down 75 points!

Posted 1:35 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Honduran newspapers are to Perez Hilton what Debka is to SAM LITTLE.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 10:39 AM by Gene

Also from Merrie Olde Englande, where the national hobby is alcohol:

Hand gels supplied to a prison to combat the risk of swine flu have been removed after inmates realised it contained alcohol and began drinking it to try to get drunk.

The only way this could have been better is if it had involved global warming.

Posted 10:33 AM by Gene

A senior civil servant is facing the sack today after being found guilty of shouting that Israelis should be “blown off the f***ing earth” while exercising in a gym.

Rowan Laxton, 48, head of the South Asia desk of the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, was watching a television report about the death of a farmer killed by Israeli bombs when he exclaimed: “F***ing Israelis, f***ing Jews”.

He'd be perfect at the League of Nations!

Posted 9:54 AM by Gene

SUPERHYPERTHINKING at TNR: I'd bet contrary to what this SUPERHYPERTHINKER thinks, Ga-DAFFY is more respected at the League of Nations today. Why? He blabbered everything the assembled tyrants wanted to say but couldn't.

Posted 9:26 AM by Gene

That RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREGIE Tosca must have been bad -- even SUPERADAM!!!!!'s revuer didn't like it.

Posted 9:15 AM by Gene

OooooooooOOOOOOOOooooooooooh, SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX, MR. CW, discovers His Omnipotence is trying to -- change the world!

What WILL we do now?

Posted 9:10 AM by Gene

Not to be outdone in the toy marketing sweepstakes, Sony's making a feature-length He-Man infomercial!

Posted 9:06 AM by Gene

Well, it appears Steve Kornacki won't get his job.



You wonder if the picture did it.

P. S. Steve must be annoyed: The Boston Glob said Tank was the guy -- and then the Kennedys had to complain. And he'd have been such a fine senator too!

Posted 6:19 PM by Gene

Gadhafi says U.N. failed to stop 65 wars

He may have a point there.

Posted 6:12 PM by Gene

We have quickly grown tired of the ACORN fuss. We have no doubt it is corrupt in word and deed; but WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!'s former intern produced political Candid Camera, and seeing a few minutes of it we noticed a smell, so now (not entirely without reason) a corrupt organization is suing, which means knee-jerk liberals will belch, which means knee-jerk conservatives will belch, which means....

The phrase "You make me tired" so comprehensively applies to politics it is best for people to avoid it lest we all turn into sleepwalkers.

Posted 6:07 PM by Gene

In still more prospective genius Goodthings Entertainment is making a Barbie movie!

Meantime in the soon-to-be-pay-again site (small loss), from Paramount Pete's sidekick, this confusing hed:

Twilight's Meyer Tackles Adult Pic Fare With Niccol

This is supposed to mean the director of that temporal teen heartthrob is directing a movee aimed at chronological adults, but so infantilized has the culture become we can only mistake "adult pic" for PR0N, especially as the biz can't make anything for older than a three-year-old.

Posted 2:53 PM by Gene

More inspiration in Branson East: A cheerleading musical!

Posted 2:43 PM by Gene

Card Defaults Surge to Record 11.49% in August, Moody’s Says

DOW 50,000!!!!!

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 2:38 PM by Gene

Now that the Wall Street Casino is attempting to revive the economy with idiot speculation, when will the state press do its part and speak in its one voice of an "Obama recovery"?

Current "'obama recovery'" index: 82.

Posted 2:13 PM by Gene

Art Ferrante has died a year after his piano partner Lou Teicher, which sadly makes it official: no one has played a decent pop tune on a piano in ages.

Posted 10:40 AM by Gene

Sun-Times bidder Tyree "is hardly alone in his contempt for working people" [Romy link]

True enough -- what about all our superiors in the luxury news suites?

Posted 9:26 AM by Gene

And speaking of -- I hate this term -- BFF:

Unconfirmed reports have suggested Mr Brown might use ill-health as an excuse for standing down before the poll, and former Cabinet minister Charles Clarke said he should go "for his own dignity".

I was about to say something about mental but that would be low, wouldn't it?

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

Meantime THE DONALD has lent out his living space to a certain Colonel, meaning he must be auditioning for the board of BP.

YOU'RE FIRED!

Posted 9:15 AM by Gene

Despot Day at UN! Khadafy, Ahmadinejad to take podium

Every day is Despot Day there.

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

AwwwwwwwwSHUCKS, Curt Schilling won't lose to Sen. Tank.

Posted 3:48 PM by Gene

HA! HA! HA! Some professional kollehdge football companies can't sell their luxury boxes!

Greed isn't THAT good.

Posted 2:09 PM by Gene

"Based on the current rate of sales, we anticipate that September's SAAR will be 8.8 million units," stated Edmunds.com Senior Statistician Zhenwei Zhou. "Last year when the bottom was falling out of the economy, September SAAR was 12.5 million, and prior to that it had been over 16 million for years. Many people regard February as the darkest month of the recession, but even then the SAAR was higher, at 9.1 million units."

DOW 40,000!!!!!

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 1:10 PM by Gene

Hey interns of the Subprime Minister! How will BP help?

Posted 1:01 PM by Gene

OH oh, I think some more of those people who live and die by their own pocket-sized electronic obsessions are furious today!

What makes such outages so delicious is this is when the Pointy-Haired Bosses of the world get their comeuppance.

Posted 12:49 PM by Gene

As we think we've noted before there's practically a whole genre of news stories about declining media in which the typists work extraordinarily hard not to say the product is at fault. This is just the latest example -- but then what would one expect from a Web site run by SLIME?

Posted 9:15 AM by Gene

The advantage of The Econowiz not running bylines is it can get all sorts of people to contribute -- like the Greater Pittsburgh Chamber of Commerce. We may start with the inconvenient fact (which the Chamber doesn't mention here) that Pittsburgh has lost over half its population in sixty years. And when a city's "main industries" [SIC!!!!!] are "health care and education" it doesn't have any industry. "Ed Rendell, Pennsylvania’s governor, observed that it used to be 'you couldn’t see a bloody thing'." Thank GOD there's no manufacturing now, Guv -- next time you're in Pittsburgh you can SEE the women you...attract.

This article is proof that charging $1,000 a year and putting everything behind a pay wall is no guarantee you get any closer to the truth -- indeed we surmise The BUGMEISTER's devotion to this rag has allowed its staff to get slack -- but just so long as they can type those snide adjectives they'll be okay.



A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO THE GREATER PITTSBURGH CHAMBER OF COMMERCE!

P. S. When USAOKAY!!!!! does a better job with a subject than The Greater Pittsburgh Chamber of Commerce's new house organ you know lots of money is still wasted in the jernalism biz.

Posted 8:59 AM by Gene

Met's Opening-Night Crowd Greets Tosca With Boos [AHTSJournal link]

Let me guess: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREGIETHEATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Or as this direc-TOR puts it:

“If people would be happy after “Tosca,” then I would be upset.”

TRANSLATION: That 9/11 ad is a work of genius. Our consolation is opera is irrelevant, and becomes more irrelevant the more trendy it gets. Moreover it is the opposite of children: it should be heard and not seen. And we have plenty of opera recordings.

Posted 6:40 PM by Gene

PRESS RELEASE OF THE WEEK!

Frank Sinatra Jr. Narrates the Largest Production in Audio-Book History

'McKnight's Memory' is a full cast [SIC] 4 hr. audio-production [SIC] that has 11 star actors of the '60s. In this romantic thriller, Robert Culp plays a CIA agent with amnesia obsessed with 'the ultimate woman' played by Nancy Kwan. Is she on his side or helping his enemies destroy him as they are pursued by both the CIA and the mafia. [Double SIC]

Hollywood, CA (PRWEB) September 20, 2009 -- The just released full cast [SIC] audio-novel [SIC] 'McKnight's Memory', with film quality [SIC] effects and music, has 11 name actors of the '60s in the cast:

The Largest Production in Audio-Book History

Frank Sinatra Jr. - Actor and singer still performing around the world. [SIC]
Robert Culp - I SPY - The Outer Limits - Bob, Ted, Carol, & Alice [SIC]
Nancy Kwan - The World of Suzie Wong - Flower Drum Song - Dragon The [SIC] Bruce Lee Story
David Hedison - The Fly - Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea - The Lost World
Don Stroud - The Buddy Holly Story - Cogan's [SIC] Bluff - Joe Kid [SIC] (both [SIC] with Clint Eastwood)
HM [SIC] Wynant - Twilight Zone's 'The Howling Man' - Run Silent Run [SIC] Deep (with Clark Cable) [SIC!!!!!]
Henry Silva - Oceans 11 - The Manchurian Candidate - Sergeants 3 (all with Frank Sinatra)
Edd Byrnes - Grease - 77 Sunset Strip - Darby's Rangers
Barbara Leigh - Junior Bonner (with Steve McQueen) - Pretty Maids All in a Row (with Rock Hudson)
Gary Lockwood - 2001 a [SIC] Space Odyssey - It Happened at the Worlds [SIC] Fair - Wild in the Country (both [SIC] with Elvis Presley)
Alan Young - The Time Machine - Tom Thumb - Mr. Ed

The story concerns CIA chief James McKnight, who wakes up in Columbia [SIC] in the middle of a shoot out with no memory. He is returned to Washington DC where he meets the beautiful Carla, the women [SIC] he lives with. Yet, [SIC] he doesn't remember her. "It's like sleeping with a beautiful stranger," he tells her.

Carla captivates McKnight to the extent of trusting her [SIC] when he shouldn't. Carla seems drawn to McKnight's power and position in the CIA, giving her a lifestyle that she couldn't have on her own. But is that all she's there for?

Is she really his lover? The one he chose for himself? Or did someone else choose her for him to keep him erotically sedated until the kill? And who is that other woman that he has nightmares about? And those bandits that he killed in Columbia [SIC] . Did they really come back to life? Or are they just a part of his amnesic dreams?

When McKnight thinks that both the CIA and the Mafia are trying to kill him, he has two choices, fight back or run with Carla. But can he trust her? Is she on his side or helping his enemies destroy him? Perhaps his strange dreams hold the answers to his bizarre situation and the truth about Carla. McKnight continues on his mysterious adventure, heading towards a startling revelation.

The audio-novel was written by Paul Kyriazi director [SIC] of six feature films including 'Omega Cop'.

Listen to an exciting free sample performed by Sinatra, Culp, & Kwan at:

http://lodingo.com/_catalog_49120/Ronin_Audio_Book_Downloads (McKnight's Memory Download Site)

###

(Via PublishersWeekly.com, where the press releases are usually in book form)

(Revised 2/18/2010 at 10:35 a. m. I didn't notice "CLARK CABLE"?!?!?)

Posted 6:05 PM by Gene

You have to wonder if the wrong guy left ESPNCORP.

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



Hey kids! Y'wanna play with that house on the right?

Posted 1:16 PM by Gene

NBC Universal’s total value may be $21 billion to $23 billion, Aspesi said.

Ouch! It wasn't too long ago the hacks and the sales -- ANALYSTS invented the number $40 billion. Very Littler Jeffy! You should have quit while you were ahead -- in more ways than one.

Posted 10:52 AM by Gene

Oh we are distressed, Brian, we are heartbroken, that Jut-Jaw portends a Saharan age for television, where reality shows and talk shows will decimate the GENIUS the CURE FOR CANCER just honored. We are DISTRAUGHT that cult shows may not get produced! That TV ad-blurbists cannot write their raves! That ADVERTISERS can't burn more ZILLIONS on the glory that is television!

Last one out turn off the set!

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 9:38 AM by Gene

One Wall Street analyst who had been bearish on the home-builder group last week turned positive on the sector, saying the worst is now behind for housing.

Perfect timing!

Posted 9:31 AM by Gene

While we are pleased the JINTS spoiled the opening of Jerry's Taj Mahal, we're pleased even more they did it with a good game up against A CURE FOR CANCER.

P. S. at 1:08 p. m. Shucks, more people watched the CURE this year -- but it still got clobbered by football.

Posted 9:30 AM by Gene

Hey Krug! We thought you said all this money burning would work!

Posted 9:16 AM by Gene

Alas, even with the depr -- reces -- ECONOMY OVER, the rich are scrimping on automobiles:

Take Porsche, whose models start at $46,000 and top $130,000. Its average incentives, which include cash-back rebates and other deals, were $4,412 through August, according to estimates from Autodata Corp. That's up 657% from the same period last year.

Bentley, meanwhile, is offering 0.9% financing on the Bentley Continental GT luxury coupe, which starts at about $180,000, said Edmunds.com auto analyst Jessica Caldwell.

"I've seen low APRs before, but 0.9% for Bentley -- that's more like what Chevy offers," Caldwell said.

And it's made by Volkswagen!

Posted 9:15 AM by Gene

Speaking of the GAMES, John the Don may buy the former French Water Works' stake in GOODTHINGS ENTERTAINMENT so people won't have to know its finances.

Posted 9:12 AM by Gene

“We’re the only country to host two Olympic Games and never have won a gold medal at our Games, WAAAAAAH!!!!!” Priestner Allinger said, referring to the summer of 1976 (Montreal) and the winter of 1988 (Calgary). “It’s not a record we’re proud of!!!!!” (EH overemphasis added)

This will happen when a first-world country with a third-world mentality runs THE GAMES.

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

Post Executive Editor Marcus Brauchli said he worries "that we are not well-enough informed about conservative issues. It's particularly a problem in a town so dominated by Democrats and the Democratic point of view."

What's wrong with that?

(Via -- oh well -- Jennifer at Commentary)

Posted 6:48 PM by Gene

Lately as another excuse for the people they write résumés to news hacks have said star power doesn't work in movees anymore. When asking themselves why the hacks turn to PAUL DRECK who says something about BEEEEEEEEEO being so TREMENDOUS MOVEES DON'T NEED STARS!!!!! The poor performance of two movees this weekend says otherwise. We hate to write about Jennifer again but if her mug weren't plastered on every celebrity rag and Web site every week would anyone outside her fan club know her from Eve? Dammit I want my stars to look like something. And clearly neither a certain prima-donna's outbursts nor her TATTOO drew fans to the whatisit she starred in -- and we can't excuse her for her looks because just like Jennifer we wouldn't know her from Eve either as hundreds of thousands of pretty girls haven't hit the jackpot. No, star power would work in the movies -- if there were stars worth seeing.

Posted 6:05 PM by Gene

We haven't said this for a while, as the Crainiacs have been slow posting their contents, but -- if it's SUNDAY it must be BIG-DOUBLE-A-SCRIBBLE TIME:

1.

Colgate-Palmolive Co.'s SoftSoap maintained its share in the highly competitive body-wash category last year despite spending less than $5 million on measured media, according to TNS -- a fraction of spending by such behemoths as P&G's Olay, Unilever's Dove and Johnson & Johnson's Aveeno and Neutrogena. The recent launch of SoftSoap's Nutri Serum body wash added 3.9 share points for Colgate in the category to reach 12.4%, even before most consumer marketing for the brand switched on, according to Information Resources Inc., measuring the four weeks ended Sept. 6.

So why? WHY? WHY? must the American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers finance JUNK TELEVISION?

2.

But what happens when the ads themselves become a negative inducement -- a form of punishment for users unwilling or unable to pay for the premium version? Online and mobile ads are already maligned for sorry targeting and bad creative and the fact that freemium models are counting on an "annoyance factor" isn't likely to help that case.

"Advertising in general is annoying and intrusive when it is not relevant," said Chris Cunningham, CEO of Appsavvy. "A lot of mobile ad networks have completely dropped the ball and let CPMs fall far below what they're worth."

So why? WHY? WHY? did you frauds move the GEORGE WASHINGTON HILL MODEL to the Web and mobile networks?

Posted 5:58 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



Scary: the King Abdullah University of Science and Technology, in Jeddah. It would have to look like a place where...never mind.

Posted 5:42 PM by Gene

How many have smiled reading this? I have. ATHUHLETES are among the prime luckiest of the media-industrial complex, so it is just they should be the prime targets of scamsters. They are not very bright, and their deliberate lack of education has made them carcasses for vultures to pick clean of their money. It is also easy (to cite two examples given) to smile over two men who've had sixteen children by fifteen women. Clearly their alimony payments aren't high enough.

Posted 5:35 PM by Gene

The generation of Slick and NEWT!!!!! and the Bugmeister has redefined the word ASS. Not only do the Boomers appear intent on emulating THE MAN's biceps but in doing so they're using medicine as a crutch. (His Omnipotence genuflects humbly.) It would be nice to learn after all this exertion these buffoons do not live longer. On the evidence here it's not certain they're living healthier. Few of us age gracefully, but we Boomers will surely be the first generation to age gracelessly.

Posted 7:36 PM by Gene

What His Omnipotence got in return:

Today, however, the Russian government sharply criticized Ahmadinejad for calling the Holocaust a "myth."

When does Belly Kisser start cooking up an extra-sized portion of wet noodles?

Posted 6:12 PM by Gene

I wonder though if we men don't make too much of good looks. The beauty is likely to be a conceited snob from all her propositions. The not-so-beautiful must work with her personality to ensnare a man, and from rejection has a healthier imagination in things sexual, thus making her more appealing the way a woman should be.

Posted 6:03 PM by Gene

Later on I smelled a vagrant. I think our Professor-in-Chief gets under my skin among other reasons because he would endorse the cretinous Justice Douglas. At the same time he wants to spend zillions on social projects. Yet somehow in the superliberal's mindset the vagrant's "right" to smell trumps the zillions in social projects. Professor-in-Chief, WHY?

Posted 5:58 PM by Gene

I'm 52 years old. Even if it were kosher I wouldn't want a woman who's young enough to be my daughter. Today's youth know little SUMNER and their cell providers haven't taught them; their every second utterance is "I'm like OHMIGOD", and they exude the airs of an airhead.

And then I saw an exceptionally comely young woman in shorts and riding a bicycle, and I felt sad again.

Posted 5:47 PM by Gene

It's likely our once beloved Orchestra will soon file for bankruptcy, and if it doesn't it should. It is a victim of RENDELLISM. Where the Orchestra should have spent its time and resources building audiences and burnishing its future it ignored precious both by helping build a defective concert hall, the Quonset Hut on Broad, whose problems cost added precious millions and detract from the musicians' cause, all so EDDIE could fondle breasts. What was its purpose anyway? What was wrong with the Academy of Music that a concerted refurbishment could not have solved? And it got built because the EDDIES saw quonset huts as factories. Thanks a lot, GUV; you can't leave office fast enough.

Posted 5:32 PM by Gene

We should have mentioned Mary Travers the other day but then Tom Lehrer said pretty much all one can say about folk music. Regardless, folk, however conscientious and occasionally maudlin, was optimistic. The singers had a fun time protesting, and their fun rubbed off on their audiences. Today's folk music is [C]RAP. The folk movement left behind indelible personalities and tunes. But [C]RAP...pardon my Portuguese but unless your last name is MURDOCH or IMMELT who wants to hear people bitch all the time?

We should be sad that a Mary Travers is gone because it reminds us how many of our cultural forms died before her. Folk basically expired about the same time as jazz and the musical, but where the latter's wounds were partly self-inflicted -- what was that pimp-'n'-pusher noodle peddler Miles but a trend follower? -- folk was bludgeoned to death by the rock musicians who took its gift outright, curdled it with their nonsense lyrics and their pretensions, amplified it beyond reason, and beat a whole three generations senseless besides.

Posted 2:26 PM by Gene

Hed of the day from DailyKaplan.com:

Well Educated and Flat Broke

Although if you were well educated would you be flat broke?

Posted 2:21 PM by Gene

It now seems doubtful people want to see that Marilyn tattoo after all, huge ego notwithstanding.

Posted 9:02 PM by Gene

A TV ad-blurbist confesses:

I'VE SAT straight-faced through so many sitcom pilots in recent seasons that I'd begun to think it was me.

Am I just comedy-challenged?

Is there something wrong with someone who can't find the funny in, say, CBS' "Rules of Engagement" or Fox's " 'Til Death"?

Oh, sure, my critic credentials are relatively solid: I love "The Office" and "30 Rock" and "How I Met Your Mother," and I beat the drum as loudly as anyone for the late, great "Arrested Development."

Yet even those shows' best episodes often leave me laughing more on the inside than the outside.

We wonder -- how does one laugh on the inside?

We think we know how -- because any time an ad-blurbist writes like this we scream on the outside.

Posted 8:03 PM by Gene

The NBA has a Plex -- PLAXICO...only he was very minimally smart enough not to shoot himself.

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

I'm not Putin puppet, Russian president tells CNN



Hey puppet, keep your mouth shut. S'allright?

Mmmmfgghhhhhhmmmmnnnn....

The TWXSTERS are also alerting us to a big water main break in "a Baltimore, Maryland neighborhood" -- if you move Baltimore a few miles.

P. S. I know yesterday I likened Senor Wences's hand to someone else. Can I help it if it changed identity?

Posted 5:33 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



Now see, in the dark, some modern architecture doesn't look so bad.

Of course other modern architecture should remain as dark as possible.

Posted 5:31 PM by Gene

42 states lose jobs in August, up from 29 in July

DOW 30,000!!!!!

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

With the ordination of a two-term GOP senator as head of the NAB we are about to encounter the definition of ideological flexibility. At least skunks like Billy Tauzin were born to greed, and thus were not offensive. And SAMMY GLICK...MAN might gas, but he proved basically powerless. A flexible Republican is among the most offensive politicians.

Posted 5:21 PM by Gene

The death of Irving Kristol reminds us that, before there were PILLHEADS!!!!! and GLENNS!!!!! and NO-SPIN-SPIN-SPIN-SPIN-SPIN ZONES, there were gentlemen. Conservatives are becoming a mirror image of the liberals they despise. They would do well to step far from the mirror and seek out the high road again.

Which further reminds us: none of the aforementioned belchers helped to found, or ever edited, a magazine. One thing about the gentlemen: they could write -- and they could read.

Posted 11:41 AM by Gene

Okay, it's nice that this developer has turned old Rust Belt buildings new, but how many of the zillions of square feet in abandoned factories around us can house twee clothing shops and law offices?

Oh, and Chris is clever not to mention how many people those "stores and offices and technology companies" in Canal Place in Akron (or is that "canal place"?) employ. Sure as heck it ain't 23,000 -- and they don't require their own police and fire departments.

Posted 8:12 AM by Gene

This is meaningless. CRAMERMANIACS played tricks with the financials and STEVEDOM is America's first capitalist-totalitarian state. We would say this BULL MARKET is all smoke and mirrors except that the Wall Street Casino's fantasies have a way of becoming realities.

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



I believe I can FLYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY....

(Yep, another Shanghai expo pavilion!)

AND:



I'll take 300 Big Macs, 400 large fries, and...how about a couple hundred Quarter Pounders for my little friend here!

(A police station in Taipei!)

Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

With FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!® You're Always the First to Know!™

Posted 3:22 PM by Gene

Sen. Dukakis's press secretary Steve Kornacki said today....

I HATE when news hacks do favors!

Posted 1:17 PM by Gene

Diplomat: Missiles in Turkey traded for defense shield in Europe

Didn't we do some horsetrading involving Turkey to get Soviet missiles out of Cuba?

I wonder if the hacks didn't let JFK go to His Omnipotence's head.

Posted 10:44 AM by Gene

Obama Zaps E. Europe Star Wars YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! [Overemphasis added]

There'll always be a Nation.

The truth is that the decision to put a missile defense system was both stupid and needlessly provocative. Stupid, because the system doesn't work and because the threat from Iran is nonexistent....

President Obama deserves high praise for this action.



His Omnipotence says thank you!

Isn't Robert Dreyfuss an actor or something?

Posted 9:35 AM by Gene

Increasingly Web sites going pay sounds like another rearrangement of the rubble. Many sites will find themselves in a bind: they can't make money now even with large audiences; but when they wall themselves off their audiences will become so much smaller they won't make money that way either, unless they charge through the nose. And how many people have big noses?

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 8:50 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Vikram wants to keep his job with a taxpayer-financed ad campaign.

Posted 8:38 AM by Gene

Will boycott against CNN's Lou Dobbs work?



Shhh, don't say anything, but...

Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 8:31 AM by Gene

GOOD! Thanks to Arbitron's new people meters, radio is becoming as encased in data as Jimmy Hoffa is in cement.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:26 AM by Gene

The House ethics committee announced Wednesday that it is probing Reps. Sam Graves (R-Mo.), Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-Ill.) and Maxine Waters (D-Calif.), fresh evidence that the chamber's disciplinary process has ramped up since it created an office last year to vet allegations against lawmakers.

Posted 8:16 AM by Gene

No missile shield for Eastern Europe. S'allright?

Let me be clear....

Posted 8:00 PM by Gene

We are sorry to learn Henry Gibson, who recited all those corny poems on Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In, and always holding that giant sunflower or whatever it was, has died -- and once again we come face-to-face with how thoroughly talent-free television now is.

Posted 5:34 PM by Gene

WH: President Obama Disagrees with Former President Carter that Most Animosity Towards Obama is Race-Based

This, calling you-know-who a jackass -- maybe if His Omnipotence stopped closeting his common sense he'd be a good president.

Caveat: This comes from Laugh-a-Minute Gibbs.

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

Pabst Blue Ribbon is apparently trying to become the Starbucks of beers. In short, it is becoming TWEE. But the Crainiacs insist the brand "didn't register any measured media spending during the first half of 2009". So then how did the new TWEE beer plaster a trendy mural on a billboard and a nearby Philadelphia El stop (Spring Garden Station) -- including twee -- three pink elephants?* Given the Wiki's rather drunken familiarity with the brand we'd say it's been doing stunts like this, and elsewhere, for some time. That costs zero? Our only question is if pink elephants were good enough why not somebody vomiting up beer? That might have goosed sales even more.

P. S.

Pabst is owned by a not-for-profit trust based in California, S&P Company.

NUF SAID.

*Not the first time, though not with twee pink elephants.

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

Salmon figures he's devoted 35,000 words to kicking Ben Stein (Romy link)

Posted 5:03 PM by Gene

"IT'S LIKE MARDI GRAS!!!!! JUST DON'T ASK WHAT TIME IT IS OR WHERE THE POLICE ARE!!!!!" (Celebrating overemphasis added)

When's the hangover -- and when are the arrests?

Posted 5:01 PM by Gene

Hmmm, The One doesn't seem to have figured in his highly-refined, super-streamlined, health-care-optimized mind that he'd tick off big labor.

Look at it this way, One: it was Max' fault.

Posted 4:58 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



SO, when the team wins the championship we'll have the confetti already in place!

Posted 10:56 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Sorry, ETERNAL MAYOR, you'd be spending TAX DOLLARS on the GAMES, as it will always be whatever the talk of CAPITALISM.

Posted 10:12 AM by Gene

Melvin Simon, sultan of sprawl and producer of Porky's, has died. RIP.

(Via Forbeslist)

Posted 9:51 AM by Gene

Signing protest letter was rash, Fonda says

Hanoi Jane must still earn royalties from her exercise videos.

(Via the annoying AHTSJournal)

Posted 9:46 AM by Gene

Brauchli: “TOO MANY PEOPLE CALL OUR NEWSROOM!!!!!” (Inundating overemphasis added)

BROCCOLI! TOO MANY THESES CLUTTER YOUR NEWSROOM!

Posted 4:51 PM by Gene

Lehman Died Because Warren Buffett Didn't Know How To Check Voicemail

This sounds dangerously close to a self-serving joke. Either 1. ST. WARREN is a technoboob, or 2. For all His wisdom accreted from investing in 1965 He is not minimally smart enough to employ the kind of help that should get Him the documents, or 3. Lehman was going to "die" anyway regardless of what the ST. did. We say it's all three.

And 4. HENRY HONEST can arrange some annoying links with annoying heds.

Posted 2:14 PM by Gene

Speaking of SUMNER, here's another demonstration how great news hacks think alike: there must be 500 stories today bemoaning "society's" lack of "civility." (We've seen two.) They have a high nuisance factor because the hacks are complicit in SUMNER's stunts with their cheerleading. They further make us mourn for the brief but halcyon days when GANNETT was selling for under $2, and the CLATCH for under a dollar.

Posted 2:09 PM by Gene

Meanwhile, no Republicans have signed on to the new House bill, and there is little reason to believe the Senate will take up similar legislation any time soon. [LAST GRAF]

The Gay Marriage Act of 2009 (so its sponsors will not call it) is as serious as SUMNER's latest publicity stunt (except, that is, to His sponsors).

(Via SUPERADAM!!!!!)

Posted 9:40 AM by Gene

This is the future of television? This wasn't even a good rendition of television past.

If Leno's desire is to help fans get to sleep earlier, desire satisfied.

Bottom Line: Leno grinds out some mystery meat.

We STILL hope he costs jobs -- I mean, succeeds!

Posted 9:01 AM by Gene

The Daily Kaplan's publisher killed a story about a woman whose arms and legs were amputated because it was "depressing".

I wonder -- would she kill a story about THESIS MAN because he was winning?

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:09 PM by Gene

More rave reviews a-typing:

"[A]fter achieving fame and a small measure of fortune from the unlikely success of a show about a dystopia where citizens are forced to pay to pee, the creators of 'Urinetown' are desperately trying to top themselves." Thus the oddball topic of their new musical, "Yeast Nation."

(Via the excruciating AHTSJournal)

Posted 8:06 PM by Gene

We see Jody Powell, one of the long, long string of those who sacrificed their careers and their sanity to be the President's chief spokespoop, a job designed solely to facilitate the two-way transmission of headaches, has died. RIP.

Posted 7:58 PM by Gene

The victims, er, peons, er, citizens of the Cryonic Mayor's town are learning their ABCs -- Anywhere But Chicago. Yes, we're talking 2016. Their fear of congestion may be overdone as every Summer GAMES city clears out for a month before and after. Their fear of taxation is not. To beat the peons over the head with largely invented virtues delivered through the anvil whack of audio advertising on public transit is surely reverse psychology at its finest. But then the only excuse for such extravagances is to allow Permanent Mayors to hug themselves before the world. No, we said it before: Rio has better beaches.

(Via the Crainiacs)

Posted 1:32 PM by Gene

HOW MANY ANGELS CAN FIT ON THE CAPITOL LAWN?

These IDIOT CON-SER-VA-TIVES do NOT flatter themselves. If I took the time and had the stomach to look back to 2003 and the motley MoveOn gang I'd no doubt find similar blog posts pumping up their protests' attendance. It was a cheap ego fix then, and it is now. Both sides do it because in the back of their empty skulls they sense they may not be as ENTIRELY RIGHT as they think.

(Via the BOOM BOOM Corner)

Posted 1:21 PM by Gene

Side A: WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!! promotes his former intern's production.

Side B: The usual hacks are ignoring it.

These are the two sides of a wooden nickel.

Posted 1:18 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: If it ain't fixed don't fix it!

Posted 9:40 AM by Gene

When last we looked Robert Mugabe was running Zimbabwe.

We just looked again. He's still running Zimbabwe. He will be running it for a long, long time.

Posted 9:19 AM by Gene

Show-biz types want Jut-Jaw to fail because he'll DESTROY JOBS!

GO JUT-JAW!

(Via the infernal Michael)

Posted 8:36 AM by Gene

It has become a familiar chain reaction: Talk-show hosts whip up a noisy controversy, which hits higher decibels as it spreads to the establishment media, which costs some unfortunate soul his job.

But now the middleman -- the journalistic gatekeepers of yore -- may no longer be necessary.

NUF SAID.

Posted 8:20 AM by Gene

OFFICIAL SPONSORS OF THE “2009 MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS” ARE 5 ® GUM, FEBREZE, PEPSI, RHAPSODY ®, SEARS, TACO BELL ®, U.S. ARMY and VERIZON WIRELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Official overemphasis added)

SUMNER, we know You think Your viewers are lemmings, ants, retards, spit on the sidewalk, just so many cells in the universe, and we know every year for Your every "Awards" show You must concoct these moronic video press kits to keep people like THE IDIOT EDDIE LAMPERT and the new idiot at Moon 'n' Stars satisfied, and maybe You still get the SUPER RATINGS, but honest, SUMNER, on days like these we really do wish that an asteroid were headed YOUR way.

Posted 4:22 PM by Gene

We had not commented on DDB's "ad" figuring it was another glorified publicity stunt for somebody. We were right; the stunt was for AWARDS. We note this line from the Crainiacs:

"Obviously somebody made this ad to win awards and get attention," said Bob Moore, chief creative officer at Publicis USA, when consulted on the matter. "It's absolutely tasteless. It probably was a rogue creative team trying to win awards. This desperation to win awards is getting out of control."

So much of what media hacks do is for awards, which makes us mad enough. Worse, they do get our attention, in such a way that we so disbelieve what they say we wouldn't hear even if they were yelling FIRE! in a crowded theater for cause. The next time they "apologize" for something, we should remember this -- and plug the ears more firmly.

The Crainiacs even call it "ghastly". We didn't think ad-types had morals or ethics. Well, we were close.

Posted 12:59 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Serena works for NIKE, and for NIKE bad PR is just a cost of doing business.

Posted 12:07 PM by Gene

There was a rally in DC yesterday against His Omnipotence and a lot of pea-brained con-SER-va-tives have most likely vastly overestimated its attendance just to feel good. 450,000!!!!! 1.5 MILLION!!!!!!!!!! They have shown the way to answer the news hacks' partisan delusions (MILLIONS PROTEST IRAQ WAR!!!!!!!!!!) is through partisan delusions of their own. Here is the perfect example of six of one and the pot calling the kettle black.

We further suggest that now both sides have their professional protesters; only the skank is different.

Posted 10:00 AM by Gene

Our first impulse on seeing this story about the formerly great British government demanding background checks on parents was to think how the hacks and His Omnipotence could come together to devise such a wondrous scheme -- but then we thought, given some kids, maybe some couples should have sanity checks before conceiving.

Posted 9:55 AM by Gene

EXCITING news from the ASSPress:

17-room home next to Obamas' Chicago home for sale!!!!! (EXCITING overemphasis added)

Say maybe some hacks could come together and organize a church and worship him there! Oh, they already have a church.

Posted 9:47 AM by Gene

When will the EDDIES learn? Neither gamb -- GAMING halls or baseball stadiums are eternal guarantors of wealth. Yes, maybe that Indian casino will come back, and maybe someday Southeast DC will teem with upscale snobs, but how many times have EDDIES promised their people financial salvation only to see the prospect disappear as new fads trump the old, or in taxpayer-financed ratholes?

Posted 12:01 PM by Gene

One of the leaders of Cuba's revolution has died, and we're safe in knowing someday they'll all be together for a hot time, rubbing elbows with Stalin and Mao, but not having the time to enjoy it.

Posted 11:52 AM by Gene

Sorry, we think "too late" will come before the "House cleaning." It always does.

Posted 10:53 AM by Gene

We see that Larry Gelbart has died. Of course he was famous for the M*A*S*H TV series (forgive us but we never watched it, thinking it a hip Hogan's Heroes with big hair -- and those guys cracked wise for eight years longer than the Korean War). But there was more: He co-wrote two musicals that don't seem so funny now, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum and City of Angels, smashes in their day; the former is a perennial in colleges because it's Plautus made EZ and acceptably bawdy; the latter became notorious as the hit no one liked and in twenty years it hasn't been revived. He also dumbed down Volpone and produced a domestic sitcom called United States that had no laugh track and the revuers called hilarious and earth-shattering and ran six weeks, thus setting the stage for the Curse of the Critically-Acclaimed. The Daily Kaplan gives what it supposes a clue by saying "socially innovative" in the first graf (i.e., news-hack-approved) and by quoting the infernal PERFESSER THOMPSON in the twelfth. The thing is, in his defense, he was at the tag end of the age of Neil Simon and Nat Hiken and Sid Caesar and Ernie Kovacs, a time when TV comedy flourished, and for that alone he deserves better than to be called politically and culturally PC.

Which reminds us, Broccoli: Where's the story on You-Know-Who's THESIS?

Posted 7:11 PM by Gene

In another example of the hacks trying to cover up the news but the news proving too rank to cover up anymore, ACORN has exploded onto the scene with a "pimp" and a "prostitute" seeking "advice" and getting it and the banishment of its gung-ho "activists" from the Census, which again raises the question, why is some news always more fit to print than other news?

(Second link via, alas, official FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News employee Jo-NAH)

Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

Bono or Little Malc or whoever's running FORBESLIST these days must be wanting to make the HOORAY-FOR-HOLLYWOOD! LISTICLE a twice- or thrice- or twenty-six-times-a-year thing, because Bono or Little Malc or whoever's gotten some guy to type that Nielsen says we're CONSUMING MORE MEDIA THAN EVER! Media never die, he says, they morph. Why Western Union morphed into a poor-people's bank! Well let's look at the morphin' media: Newspapers morphed from comprehensive news sources to bloggings and half-witted link assortments. Movies morphed from a national pastime to tentpoles. Radio morphed from comedy and drama and music to stupid DJs and LOWSY MAYS sellin' cars. Network TV morphed from comedy and drama and music into reality shows; cable has morphed from airing reruns to airing first-run reruns. Typing for the HOORAY-FOR-HOLLYWOOD! LISTICLE means you can avoid value judgments -- and if Quentin said anything bad about the media he would never write for Bono or Little Malc or whoever runs FORBESLIST again.

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



We've said before that our age can't honor the past because we've systematically taken our collective memory and tossed it overboard. New York's on-site memorial to 9-11 is a dead end you'd never be stuck in at night. I know it has to be below ground but what's wrong with some light, and air, and hopefulness?