THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Wednesday, June 30, 2010
ARCHDaily!
For my next act I will put Mickey Mouse ears on the Louvre.
LOOK OUT BELOW!!!!!
Or, maybe those three drivers need the insurance money!
An erectile-dysfunction lab!
By JAJA ARCHITECTS!
For my next act I will put Mickey Mouse ears on the Louvre.
LOOK OUT BELOW!!!!!
Or, maybe those three drivers need the insurance money!
An erectile-dysfunction lab!
By JAJA ARCHITECTS!
Count us SURPRISED!!!! that just as show-biz news hacks are incestuous de facto so at least one of their kind may be incestuous de jour.
Besides being a blogger, Sanchez is also a film producer. He's listed as a partner in Death Ray Films with "TMNT" director Kevin Munroe and Christopher Patton; he's also listed as a producer on Lakeshore Entertainment's upcoming supernatural action movie "I, Frankenstein," which Patrick Tatopoulos is attached to direct.
Sanchez also worked with the camera crew on "Paris Hilton's My New BFF."
There, but for the grace of Gods, goes EVERY show-biz news hack.
Besides being a blogger, Sanchez is also a film producer. He's listed as a partner in Death Ray Films with "TMNT" director Kevin Munroe and Christopher Patton; he's also listed as a producer on Lakeshore Entertainment's upcoming supernatural action movie "I, Frankenstein," which Patrick Tatopoulos is attached to direct.
Sanchez also worked with the camera crew on "Paris Hilton's My New BFF."
There, but for the grace of Gods, goes EVERY show-biz news hack.
We have paid little mind to the Russian spy story, in no small way because it won't stop His Omnipotence from groveling, nor Senor Wences and His hand puppet from SPYING.
The TWXSTERS notice some somebody nobody's "UGLY" tattoo?
Such sudden insight will happen when you've blinded yourselves extruding junk entertainments for decades.
Such sudden insight will happen when you've blinded yourselves extruding junk entertainments for decades.
On day 3, nominee Kagan testifies cautiously
TRANSLATION: The hearings are the farce the nominee predicted, and now His Omnipotence has His Clementine Haynsworth to match His Georgia Carswell.
TRANSLATION: The hearings are the farce the nominee predicted, and now His Omnipotence has His Clementine Haynsworth to match His Georgia Carswell.
It is all well and good for the Feds to stop movie pirates, but when news hacks say "The Hollywood crackdown is part of a larger push to halt traffic in pirated and counterfeit goods, including pharmaceuticals and software", you can be sure the Feds aren't doing it to schmooze with software CEOs, and it would not surprise us to learn our successes in real industries are limited.
We would also expect a champion schmoozer like G-Man (why did Bloomy have to keep him on?) to parrot a factoid that MOVIE PIRACY COSTS THE U.S. ECONOMY $20 BILLION A YEAR!!!!!!!!! he gladly received through one of his would-be bosses.
We would also expect a champion schmoozer like G-Man (why did Bloomy have to keep him on?) to parrot a factoid that MOVIE PIRACY COSTS THE U.S. ECONOMY $20 BILLION A YEAR!!!!!!!!! he gladly received through one of his would-be bosses.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Dave Weigel joins Keith "BECK!!!!!" Olbermann, which is where he should have been were he not a conservative.
(Via MediaBistro)
(Via MediaBistro)
Monday, June 28, 2010
ARCHDaily!
A new nuclear reactor in China! Oh wait -- that's a stock exchange?!?!?
A starchitect tried for the Hello Kitty effect but he didn't know what a curve is.
A new nuclear reactor in China! Oh wait -- that's a stock exchange?!?!?
A starchitect tried for the Hello Kitty effect but he didn't know what a curve is.
Four -- 'count 'em -- FOUR! annoying links in AHTSJournal:
Where Are Today's Protest Songs?
Let's see -- [C]RAPPERS, "subversive" artists, "transgressive" "entertainers", in-your-face bloggers -- I think we have enough PROTEST.
Remember Arthur Godfrey? Dick Cavett Does.
We're guessing Dick had to write something nice because he's an industry insider and for a time he was doing nothing but grouching about Nazi Republicans. The unfortunate thing is, it doesn't appear Arthur Godfrey was a very nice guy.
Psycho: The Secret Behind 'The Most Nail-Biting Movie Moment In History'
This topic seems to be making the hacks drool as much as another of their favorite nail-biting movie moments in history -- the Zapruder film.
American Opera In Ferment - A Healthy Ferment?
Unfortunately AHTSJournal provides a punchline:
Anne Midgette: "A lot is happening in American opera. The past 20 years have seen an increasing number of new works, but this spring hit a critical mass with three world premieres at major American companies within five weeks. … The question is: How many people are really listening?..."
TRANSLATION: How many fat ladies are singing?
We have not clicked on ONE of the links, and don't intend to.
Where Are Today's Protest Songs?
Let's see -- [C]RAPPERS, "subversive" artists, "transgressive" "entertainers", in-your-face bloggers -- I think we have enough PROTEST.
Remember Arthur Godfrey? Dick Cavett Does.
We're guessing Dick had to write something nice because he's an industry insider and for a time he was doing nothing but grouching about Nazi Republicans. The unfortunate thing is, it doesn't appear Arthur Godfrey was a very nice guy.
Psycho: The Secret Behind 'The Most Nail-Biting Movie Moment In History'
This topic seems to be making the hacks drool as much as another of their favorite nail-biting movie moments in history -- the Zapruder film.
American Opera In Ferment - A Healthy Ferment?
Unfortunately AHTSJournal provides a punchline:
Anne Midgette: "A lot is happening in American opera. The past 20 years have seen an increasing number of new works, but this spring hit a critical mass with three world premieres at major American companies within five weeks. … The question is: How many people are really listening?..."
TRANSLATION: How many fat ladies are singing?
We have not clicked on ONE of the links, and don't intend to.
Today BizWeek ran a genuinely depressing story about the fiscal rathole that is KOLLEDGE. No one has to tell us it's a waste. What really rubbed it in is the suggestion parents could save their money and present their grown children with loads and loads of stock rather than sending them to Club Med in the sticks to get plastered for a hobby, and not ever learning how to think because their "profs" are as provincial as they. Indeed we can say (and pardon the language) that most kids go to KOLLEDGE just to get laid, and evidently they can't do too well at that given our divorce rate. Yes, prostitutes would be cheaper too.
Con-SER-va-tives are celebrating about GUN RIGHTS almost as much as liberals would celebrate if Dick Cheney had suffered a heart attack. It's all one to us; gun ownership has become the proverbial litmus test for the lunacy of both sides, con-SER-va-tives wanting to arm America not just to the teeth but to every other organ, and liberals confirming the old saw that only criminals would have guns. In short, neither side is sane.
Kagan promises to be impartial if confirmed
And I promise not to beat my wife -- which is fine because I don't have one.
And I promise not to beat my wife -- which is fine because I don't have one.
However much permanently vacationing business idiots like DON THOMPSON may blather about the Brotherhood of Man, the World Cup is ultimately about xenophobia, and that it is a harmless kind of xenophobia doesn't make it less dangerous.
Sen. Byrd occasions an understandable yearning for the days when giants ruled the Senate. The problem is the Websters' and Clays' and Calhouns' eloquent orating couldn't stop the Civil War. It is no accident that the decades since have seen pompous blowhards like the fictional Sen. Claghorn or asset-amassing villains like Sen. Clark or eunuchs played by Victor Moore. Not that the Senator struck us as a great orator, unless you mistake constantly shaking the head and thrusting up a finger and bellowing of Cicero to an empty gallery as great oratory. We may wonder if West Virginia may have been better off without him. To be sure it is a one-trick state, and that a dirty and dangerous one; but when a Senator gets to plaster his name on nearly every building in sight it may tell the locals there isn't much they can do. We can forgive the Senator his proud membership in the KKK; what we can't forgive is our elected officials always making mistakes, and immortalizing themselves in the name of some mythical idea of history.
Jim "BOOM! BOOM!" Cramer -- A DUPE?!?!? Who in God's name would ever THINK such a thing?!?!?!?!?
One thing we know -- THE BIG C wouldn't fire BOOM! BOOM! even if he were convicted of first-degree murder.
(Via HENRY HONEST!)
One thing we know -- THE BIG C wouldn't fire BOOM! BOOM! even if he were convicted of first-degree murder.
(Via HENRY HONEST!)
Sunday, June 27, 2010
If it's Sunday it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:
1. Why TV Advertisers Are Spending More for Less This Season
Well we can't use the S-word, and we can't use the F-word, and we can't use the H-word, and we can't even use the I-word -- so what's the reason?
2. And now that we have health-care "reform", big medicine is gearing up to get its -- through the S-word, the F-word, the H-word and the I-word!
3. TRANSLATION: MICKEY D is about to become the Walmart of fast-food.
4. Meantime the also-rans think they'll save money financing junk TV on cable, so they may be trying for a new kind of S-word.
1. Why TV Advertisers Are Spending More for Less This Season
Well we can't use the S-word, and we can't use the F-word, and we can't use the H-word, and we can't even use the I-word -- so what's the reason?
2. And now that we have health-care "reform", big medicine is gearing up to get its -- through the S-word, the F-word, the H-word and the I-word!
3. TRANSLATION: MICKEY D is about to become the Walmart of fast-food.
4. Meantime the also-rans think they'll save money financing junk TV on cable, so they may be trying for a new kind of S-word.
In my continuing soap opera of the new computer I discover the outfit that made the notorious Truckee motherboards, Pegatron, is a unit of ASUSTeK [SiC], maker of the motherboard I'm tentatively putting in my box. I've also discovered that company's principal brand name is pronounced two ways: ah-SOOS and A-suhs; either way it spells stupid.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
I guess the upscale urban dwellers of both coasts are sad that "our" fuuutballlll team lost. (I put "our" in quotations because the team is no more mine than the planet Neptune.) I will confess though when I saw that picture of Slick sharing a Bud with that guy with the tattoo running halfway down his arm (and who reportedly would be paid zillions for a GOOOOOOOOOAL that no longer matters) my non-existent patriotic fervor became a contemptuous laugh. Nor did it help that thousands of Blutonians swarmed around the nearby Rendelis to revel in their superiority. In the old days snobs showed their disdain in top hats; now they do it with beer bongs. I will say this: there are few ways to congratulate Ghana without condescension, but to have won twice against "us" in two consecutive affairs says something good for them.
To those who mourn this usurpation of American might, be not sad; America corners the world in sports AAAAAAAAAATTITUDE. If only we were good at something else, something posterity could proudly remember us by.
To those who mourn this usurpation of American might, be not sad; America corners the world in sports AAAAAAAAAATTITUDE. If only we were good at something else, something posterity could proudly remember us by.
In SLIMEDOM: We are surprised to learn He owned Beliefnet.com. We are not surprised to learn He sold it. On those few occasions we saw it (always through a link) it struck us as wishy-washy; if Beliefnet had beliefs it carefully cloaked them. By rights this is the beginning of its ride into oblivion.
Also: The destruction of the Times of London begins.
(Both links via IWantMedia)
Also: The destruction of the Times of London begins.
(Both links via IWantMedia)
Hey EZ, it was YOUR stupid idea to start that listserv, and it was YOUR stupid idea to make it exclusively left-leaning, and it was YOUR stupid idea to make it a self-selecting self-serving cabal, and it was YOUR stupid idea that it be completely closed from public view, and it was YOUR stupid idea that your hoity-toity club couldn't suffer from LEAKS.
Given how much you've EARNED thanks to your CLAQUE I have NO SYMPATHY FOR YOU.
And besides that enough effete news-hack snobs will be grief-stricken enough to start their OWN listserv.
And for all these reasons and more we will continue to call you MR. JOURNOLIST.
(Via WOLFFMAN!!!!!)
Given how much you've EARNED thanks to your CLAQUE I have NO SYMPATHY FOR YOU.
And besides that enough effete news-hack snobs will be grief-stricken enough to start their OWN listserv.
And for all these reasons and more we will continue to call you MR. JOURNOLIST.
(Via WOLFFMAN!!!!!)
Friday, June 25, 2010
God, if only I could audition for Dave Weigel's job -- but to do that I'd have to be a) an Ivy Leaguer, b) an uppity snob, c) a member of JOURNOLIST and d) a worshiper of BROCCOLI. That said here's how I'd open my first post:
I am a conservative. By any measure I'm so. I hate PC; I deplore abortion on demand (excepting after rape and incest); I believe in fiscal rectitude, public and private; I oppose Obamacare, that quagmire to end all quagmires; I'm for a strong national defense; I back Israel and a foreign policy that can meet strength with strength. But I also endeavor to be independent in the best sense. Too often conservatives have let their mouths do the talking, with dread results; say the word conservative and even some on the right must first think wincingly of Rush or Glenn Beck, men more famous for their publicity-fraught bellowing than their reason. Rep. Barton's idiotic remark shows that too many conservatives worship big business and the hyperrich, the kind of worship that helped get us into trouble. Too often in wanting to persuade a hip young crowd the right apes the left; Jonah Goldberg is but a starboard Frank Rich, an uncritical pop culture savant who descends to glibness. Being a conservative should mean standing on principle, and conservatism's principles are good sound timber; it shouldn't mean having to stand against yourself. I hope that comes through in the posts ahead.
I am a conservative. By any measure I'm so. I hate PC; I deplore abortion on demand (excepting after rape and incest); I believe in fiscal rectitude, public and private; I oppose Obamacare, that quagmire to end all quagmires; I'm for a strong national defense; I back Israel and a foreign policy that can meet strength with strength. But I also endeavor to be independent in the best sense. Too often conservatives have let their mouths do the talking, with dread results; say the word conservative and even some on the right must first think wincingly of Rush or Glenn Beck, men more famous for their publicity-fraught bellowing than their reason. Rep. Barton's idiotic remark shows that too many conservatives worship big business and the hyperrich, the kind of worship that helped get us into trouble. Too often in wanting to persuade a hip young crowd the right apes the left; Jonah Goldberg is but a starboard Frank Rich, an uncritical pop culture savant who descends to glibness. Being a conservative should mean standing on principle, and conservatism's principles are good sound timber; it shouldn't mean having to stand against yourself. I hope that comes through in the posts ahead.
BREAKING: Weigel Resigns
Good for him -- and JOURNOLIST.
But who's going to knock conservatives now?
I guess even ST. WARREN has His limits.
P. S.
The Post appears to have hired Weigel, a liberal blogger, under the false impression that he's a conservative.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
(First link via -- oh well -- JONAHDOM; second link via the usual Romy)
Good for him -- and JOURNOLIST.
But who's going to knock conservatives now?
I guess even ST. WARREN has His limits.
P. S.
The Post appears to have hired Weigel, a liberal blogger, under the false impression that he's a conservative.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
(First link via -- oh well -- JONAHDOM; second link via the usual Romy)
Why we MUST have FORBESLIST:
The Davie Brown Index, which measures attributes of celebrities, found Woods' "aspiration" scores (that is, the masses aspiring to be him) to be on par with those of Oprah Winfrey and Steve Jobs.
You know, VERY LITTLE MALCOLM, maybe people would aspire more to be YOU if you had more money -- and one way you COULD get it is by putting your rag BEHIND A WALL TOO.
And the thing is this not-bad article didn't need it.
The Davie Brown Index, which measures attributes of celebrities, found Woods' "aspiration" scores (that is, the masses aspiring to be him) to be on par with those of Oprah Winfrey and Steve Jobs.
You know, VERY LITTLE MALCOLM, maybe people would aspire more to be YOU if you had more money -- and one way you COULD get it is by putting your rag BEHIND A WALL TOO.
And the thing is this not-bad article didn't need it.
Senate Democrats began their investigation of for-profit higher education here in earnest Thursday, holding the first in what they promise will be a series of hearings aimed at better understanding the sector’s value to students and taxpayers.
TRANSLATION: Another Democratic kangaroo court, and Republicans bolting their mouths shut.
TRANSLATION: Another Democratic kangaroo court, and Republicans bolting their mouths shut.
122 MILLION TAX DOLLARS LATER:
The new $122 million home of the Philadelphia Union features few architectural flourishes.
For now it promises to be only this: A damn fine place to watch a soccer game.
But what would make it perfect would be to vaporize its home town CHESTER!
Thankfully Jeff Babbitt (oh, that's not his last name?) does enough of his part that we can give him a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD!
The new $122 million home of the Philadelphia Union features few architectural flourishes.
For now it promises to be only this: A damn fine place to watch a soccer game.
But what would make it perfect would be to vaporize its home town CHESTER!
Thankfully Jeff Babbitt (oh, that's not his last name?) does enough of his part that we can give him a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD!
AP NEWSALERT!!!!!
ISLAMABAD (AP) -- Official says Pakistan to monitor 7 major websites, including Google, for anti-Islam content.
League of NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAtionnnnnnnnnnnnnns!
ISLAMABAD (AP) -- Official says Pakistan to monitor 7 major websites, including Google, for anti-Islam content.
League of NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAtionnnnnnnnnnnnnns!
HOW APT: GOD'S SERVANTS now virtually own WHINER BROTHERS -- a most fitting conclusion. Megalomania meets its match in megalomania.
(Via VULTURE!!!!!)
(Via VULTURE!!!!!)
Some profs fear that a mere journalist won't be smart enough to do their views justice [Romy link]
Which neglects that, despite their salaries, all JERNALISTS are mere.
Which neglects that, despite their salaries, all JERNALISTS are mere.
In light of The Daily Kaplan's increasing role in the high-tech secret public-be-damned cabal called JOURNOLIST we are pleased to see KAPLAN, INC. has lost all of its foolish "DIRT-CHEAP!!!!!" Barron's premium, and is now back on the way to below $400, a number we hope it will meet very soon, however unlikely.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
When all the ads in the world, all the publicists, all the clever machinery for turning the public into fanbots, can't prevent a celebrated chanteuse's sales collapse (in the U. K. anyway), that is VERY good news.
Of course this tantruming pundit should have apologized -- for being a proud member of that secretive gaggle of know-it-alls called JOURNOLIST.
(Via the usual Romy)
(Via the usual Romy)
Let's see.
Oil is still spewing into the Gulf of Mexico, the global economy is shaky, millions of Americans remain unemployed -- and now the military commander in Afghanistan has been sacked because of comments he made in Rolling Stone magazine, of all places.
Not a good time for President Obama, and the polls are starting to reflect it. [Emphasis added]
What Web sites have you been following?
Obviously not YOURS, as this content-free ad is supposedly your number-one hit.
GanNETtoids! Put OKAY!!!!! BEHIND THE WALL!!!!!
Oil is still spewing into the Gulf of Mexico, the global economy is shaky, millions of Americans remain unemployed -- and now the military commander in Afghanistan has been sacked because of comments he made in Rolling Stone magazine, of all places.
Not a good time for President Obama, and the polls are starting to reflect it. [Emphasis added]
What Web sites have you been following?
Obviously not YOURS, as this content-free ad is supposedly your number-one hit.
GanNETtoids! Put OKAY!!!!! BEHIND THE WALL!!!!!
When 'Twilight' fandom becomes addiction
When teenagers become morons....
Oh, we forgot -- most of them are born that way.
When teenagers become morons....
Oh, we forgot -- most of them are born that way.
The thing with ads like this is that their readers instantly dismiss them because their perpetrators aren't expected to tell the truth, and frequently they don't. Who needs truth with NUMBERS?
Remember the sad story "The Man Without a Country"?
The junk food generation: British children getting fatter at twice the rate of Americans
Doesn't that rather thoroughly describe Merrie Olde Englande these days?
Although the reverse is true as well.
The junk food generation: British children getting fatter at twice the rate of Americans
Doesn't that rather thoroughly describe Merrie Olde Englande these days?
Although the reverse is true as well.
In my continuing soap opera of build or buy I am now sniffing around those refurb HP PCs. Yes, yells the DIY brigade, home-built is cheaper -- but it's cheaper only when compared to comparable pre-builts; in my case it may not be comparable with a model with a 950 chip, 12 gigs of memory and a Blu-Ray burner. Yes the HPs have the questionable Truckee boards -- but the DIYs come with the danger of one defective part zapping your whole creation, or at least setting you back a few hundred bucks to buy anew. Someone out there who knows computers and knows the parts business has the answer, but I've given up on sites like Tom's Hardware because they're the chatter of people who mostly don't know what they're talking about -- and boast of it.
5 reasons not to buy the iPhone 4 [Yahoo! home-page link]
...have been overwhelmed by the 20 TRILLION REASONS the HACKS have SCREAMED through their ADS.
...have been overwhelmed by the 20 TRILLION REASONS the HACKS have SCREAMED through their ADS.
If the notoriously misgoverned (and largely ungovernable) New Jersey considers itself better off in a few years' time—if businesses are moving back to the state, if unemployment is down, if the budget deficits are under control, if the balance between taxes and services is more reasonable—Chris Christie will deserve most of the credit. If not--and there's reason to think that might be the case....
We've stopped reading "insider-politics" columns because when they're not CW they're veering one way. Most hacks do not realize many of their turnips do not read one graf after another -- they SKIM (one wonders if JonBoy knows that yet; his CIRC suggests there's reason to think that might NOT be the case), and when they skim they come across very LEADING LINKS like this. Enough rats have abandoned Zeitgeist's leaking ship to prove the old model of telling it from the mountain won't work anymore.
And a DOUBLE-DEMERIT to ANDY for linking to an article behind a PAY WALL.
We've stopped reading "insider-politics" columns because when they're not CW they're veering one way. Most hacks do not realize many of their turnips do not read one graf after another -- they SKIM (one wonders if JonBoy knows that yet; his CIRC suggests there's reason to think that might NOT be the case), and when they skim they come across very LEADING LINKS like this. Enough rats have abandoned Zeitgeist's leaking ship to prove the old model of telling it from the mountain won't work anymore.
And a DOUBLE-DEMERIT to ANDY for linking to an article behind a PAY WALL.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
As President Obama concluded his Rose Garden statement revealing that he had replaced Gen. Stanley McChrystal as the top American commander in Afghanistan, a reporter shouted an impromptu question. "Can the war be won?" he yelled. The president didn't answer — perhaps because he doesn't know.
Or perhaps He does know but He doesn't want to clue the peons in on one reason He fired His insubordinate yakety-yak general.
Or perhaps He does know but He doesn't want to clue the peons in on one reason He fired His insubordinate yakety-yak general.
ARCHDaily!
No matter how you dice it and slice it, it's still an ugly old garage in a dying town.
A barbers' museum -- complete with the world's biggest collection of combs!
No matter how you dice it and slice it, it's still an ugly old garage in a dying town.
A barbers' museum -- complete with the world's biggest collection of combs!
When does WOLFFMAN, the ELIOT SPITZER of the WEB, finally link to one too many ads like this that he finally exposes himself as the mirror image of SLIME?
P. S. Skimming the PEOPLE WARNER ad -- what we could of it -- we are more convinced than ever THE TONY HAYWARD OF MEDIA has this as His home page -- on EVERY computer He uses.
P. S. Skimming the PEOPLE WARNER ad -- what we could of it -- we are more convinced than ever THE TONY HAYWARD OF MEDIA has this as His home page -- on EVERY computer He uses.
“Larry King has always been a bit of a punch line, but you don’t want him to become a joke.”
Why not? We've been laughing at him through gritted teeth for years.
And PERFESSER THOMPSON, you entered JOKE TERRITORY long ago.
CARLOS THE JACKASS! The wall!! THE WALL!!
(Via the always annoying AHTSJournal)
Why not? We've been laughing at him through gritted teeth for years.
And PERFESSER THOMPSON, you entered JOKE TERRITORY long ago.
CARLOS THE JACKASS! The wall!! THE WALL!!
(Via the always annoying AHTSJournal)
Arizona Democrats urge Obama not to sue over controversial immigration law
Hmmm -- is there an election going on?
Hmmm -- is there an election going on?
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Purchases of U.S. Existing Homes Unexpectedly Fall (Correct) [SIC!]
People don't have jobs, they're still abandoning their houses and we expect prices to rise without aid from Uncle Sucker?
Only in the Wall Street Casino and Fairyland.
People don't have jobs, they're still abandoning their houses and we expect prices to rise without aid from Uncle Sucker?
Only in the Wall Street Casino and Fairyland.
How often do the modern old-wives' tales, the exclamation points of medical research studies that point to this magic elixir or that, get overturned?
Caveat: MS. GLOBAL WARMING WILL DESTROY THE EARTH!!!!!
Caveat: MS. GLOBAL WARMING WILL DESTROY THE EARTH!!!!!
What makes us wish MORT ZUCK would find a leak in his portfolios is that he MUST run PR like THIS that only gets people mad because these HATED!!!!! athletes are cussing a blue streak all the way to the bank.
And now His Omnipotence can add a new name of the Gods and legends he "resembles" -- HARRY TRUMAN!
There is no excuse for insubordination among generals but there is no excuse for this PEACE-PRIZE-WINNING PRESIDENT either.
CAVEAT: ANONYMOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is no excuse for insubordination among generals but there is no excuse for this PEACE-PRIZE-WINNING PRESIDENT either.
CAVEAT: ANONYMOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Which reminds us: How many of the Americans who are EXTREMELY PROFOUNDLY DELIRIOUSLY ECSTATICALLY following the WORLD CUP voted for HIS OMNIPOTENCE?
You'd think He and RAHM would be organizing WORLD CUP PARTIES to gather their votes!
You'd think He and RAHM would be organizing WORLD CUP PARTIES to gather their votes!
Monday, June 21, 2010
TRANSLATION: Congress is about to change the world again, after threatening not to.
FURTHER TRANSLATION: ANOTHER mess. What is so sacred about auto dealers?
FURTHER TRANSLATION: ANOTHER mess. What is so sacred about auto dealers?
Aren't there enough teenage sensations we geezers could call "dorky"?
And the younguns shouldn't be using such words to describe their favorites -- they've launched too many dorky careers.
And the younguns shouldn't be using such words to describe their favorites -- they've launched too many dorky careers.
Elsewhere in Zeitgeist.com:
Lately, some high-profile women are acting like mean girls. Is the fault theirs or ours? [Sub-hed]
I don't know. Is it our fault or Zeitgeist's that we must pay attention every time JonBoy has a brain cramp?
It's almost as if this rag is begging to be put out of its misery.
Lately, some high-profile women are acting like mean girls. Is the fault theirs or ours? [Sub-hed]
I don't know. Is it our fault or Zeitgeist's that we must pay attention every time JonBoy has a brain cramp?
It's almost as if this rag is begging to be put out of its misery.
Don't Believe the Hype: Rahm Emanuel Not Having Problems With Obama
We don't believe hyperpartisans like Head-Scratchin' Jonny -- so why shouldn't we believe the hype?
Another example of something that may be true that becomes false thanks to WHO TELLS THE TRUTH.
We don't believe hyperpartisans like Head-Scratchin' Jonny -- so why shouldn't we believe the hype?
Another example of something that may be true that becomes false thanks to WHO TELLS THE TRUTH.
Thankfully the rest of the world has the screaming meemies only once every four years.
(As opposed to the League of Nations, where it has them all the time.)
(As opposed to the League of Nations, where it has them all the time.)
We wonder if Andrew doth protest too much. Every time a president makes a speech it costs money, especially when he travels to places he'd otherwise like to avoid, because his entourage has to create a five-hundred-square-mile frozen zone. And yet it does seem a little off-putting when His Omnipotence does it, because he flew to our rescue like Superman, and now has to make do with Air Force One.
Mustapha Mond wrote this. What can prevent NUKEMEN from building superraces using genomics? What can prevent a genomics arms race? This path to world destruction is surer than nuclear war.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
I am still trying to decide on a new computer. My deadline is July 30 -- when the Bugmeisters end Bing Cashback. I've discovered the meaning of six of one. I'd prefer building my own computer -- it would make me accomplished despite its simplicity; all you need is an hour and considerable patience, and every part has a warranty, unlike the refurbished HP rigs I've been eyeing on eBay and HP's own site, which give you ninety days. But I've discovered the computer retailers play more tricks with their prices than your average supermarket. It does not help that you're basically stuck with maybe three of four online retailers -- NewEgg, Superbiiz aka Ewiz, Systemax, aka Tiger Direct, aka Circuit City, aka Global Computer, aka.... (I wouldn't buy through those eBay amalgamators; they play tricks with their prices plus a markup.) Going to the Web for advice doesn't help. You will never fully learn whether, say, an I7-875K is better than an I7-930. (The rabid gamers say it is, but I have less than zero interest in first-person shooters, which sums up most video games; and Intel very cleverly added an element of planned obsolescence to its motherboards.) These last few days I've been seeking an answer to a scalding query: can I use 12 gigs of DDR3-1600 in my computer without having to tweak the BIOS? and I get 50,000 different answers, a true demonstration of the blind leading the blind. "What's the best motherboard?" gets you only 15,000. When not getting parts from their suppliers the parts "reviewers" on the geek sites play a game of Julian Hirsch saying as little as possible in as many words as possible. Nonetheless I've pretty well decided on most of the parts, although $140 for a PSU seems absurd, even with a Visa rebate card that allows the issuer to gyp you twenty ways (oh, and that's Power Supply Unit; you must pay through the lingo to play), but it's annoying that it must cost as much as a ready-made -- and that memory prices are twice what they were a year ago and won't come down.
I've mentioned before the trouble with buying a refurb HP. One eBay seller has had a couple of loaded items. But is it worth a tarnished motherboard and a puny warranty? I dream of loading my new rig with a dozen hard drives but are they necessary? Yes an SSD boot drive would be nice but can I afford it? A decent-sized one still coasts ten times its hard-drive equivalent. I don't want something I'll have to replace in two years, but the term "future-proof" is that lunatic asylum business's latest up-to-date version of a hoary old cliché. I just want something good, and powerful, that will last.
P. S. And now I learn HP's introduced the HPE-300 series -- its third new higher-end model series in six months. Given their profits in printer cartridges I wonder when the bums in Palo Alto will have their own BP moment.
I've mentioned before the trouble with buying a refurb HP. One eBay seller has had a couple of loaded items. But is it worth a tarnished motherboard and a puny warranty? I dream of loading my new rig with a dozen hard drives but are they necessary? Yes an SSD boot drive would be nice but can I afford it? A decent-sized one still coasts ten times its hard-drive equivalent. I don't want something I'll have to replace in two years, but the term "future-proof" is that lunatic asylum business's latest up-to-date version of a hoary old cliché. I just want something good, and powerful, that will last.
P. S. And now I learn HP's introduced the HPE-300 series -- its third new higher-end model series in six months. Given their profits in printer cartridges I wonder when the bums in Palo Alto will have their own BP moment.
Our only response to this ad is, quick! What was the Number One Pop Tune this day ten years ago? These ads irritate us because every time a copywriter -- reporter does one his business permits its sister business the recorded...SOUND trade to further burrow into the depths, rather like BP, and we get the sonic equivalent of their GUSHER.
We can safely say Mark C. Toner, whoever he is, has redefined the term blithering idiot.
And so have his bosses, who saw fit to post his idiocy in full.
(Via JPOD)
And so have his bosses, who saw fit to post his idiocy in full.
(Via JPOD)
$109 MILLION?!?!? We thought it was supposed to do 120!!!!!!!!!!
One thing for sure: DC Comics Pictures and the Tony Hayward of Media have A BOMB ON THEIR HANDS.
One thing for sure: DC Comics Pictures and the Tony Hayward of Media have A BOMB ON THEIR HANDS.
Oh, so Attorney General and Chief Social Engineer Effete Q. Snob will try KSM in a civilian court AFTER the election.
Good luck!
“When does an unfulfilled political promise become a lie?”
Not when the 2009 winner of the BOOM-BOOM PEACE PRIZE tells it!
Good luck!
“When does an unfulfilled political promise become a lie?”
Not when the 2009 winner of the BOOM-BOOM PEACE PRIZE tells it!
It would help the Democrats perhaps marginally if more of their ranks determined "failure is not an option in Afghanistan"; the way they act failure is just something that happens to someone else.
Despite the hope (and the hacks' actively egging it on) that Joe Barton's dummkopf remark will destroy the GOP, we would contend it's just more background noise. People already know Republicans love corporate America and the hyperrich. It might be more difficult for Democrats to overcome their traditional philosophical stench -- especially as they may be running the country right now.
And when it comes to pols saying stupid things, the contempt is BIPARTISAN.
And when it comes to pols saying stupid things, the contempt is BIPARTISAN.
We would say to The Man Who Was Once Jesus Christ that information, like water and like electricity, will simply follow the path of least resistance. As long as people already pay for their Web connection they are extremely unlikely to pay more. They've long grown tired of cable's rate creep. As for the "successes" in setting up pay walls -- SLIME's JOURNALS and the FT -- we answer: 1. GOOGLE; and 2. When did the FT last break a story?
Mr. Moms become more common
Such stories are "WE GET THE MESSAGE" stories, and this type pops up every year around Father's Day. If we could somehow be sure this is reported with complete dispassion and objectivity such is the news biz' aura we must assume it will SAY SOMETHING even when it doesn't intend to say anything. So we read things that may not be there -- because so many things are. Thanks for your P-Ulitzer winning ways, news hacks.
Such stories are "WE GET THE MESSAGE" stories, and this type pops up every year around Father's Day. If we could somehow be sure this is reported with complete dispassion and objectivity such is the news biz' aura we must assume it will SAY SOMETHING even when it doesn't intend to say anything. So we read things that may not be there -- because so many things are. Thanks for your P-Ulitzer winning ways, news hacks.
One of AMERICA'S GREATEST SOCIAL COMMENTATORS had better look behind his shoulder:
Before Stephen Colbert, There Was Bob Hope
Before Stephen Colbert, There Was Bob Hope
Saturday, June 19, 2010
THE PAPER OF RE-CORD says His Omnipotence may be telling a tall tale to make himself look good?
Even with all that pain, can it yet be called the nation’s worst environmental disaster?
“My take,” said William W. Savage Jr., a professor of history at the University of Oklahoma, “is that we’re not going to be able to tell until it’s over.”
BRILLIANT insight, Paper. CARLOS THE JACKASS! Put it behind the wall! NOW!
Even with all that pain, can it yet be called the nation’s worst environmental disaster?
“My take,” said William W. Savage Jr., a professor of history at the University of Oklahoma, “is that we’re not going to be able to tell until it’s over.”
BRILLIANT insight, Paper. CARLOS THE JACKASS! Put it behind the wall! NOW!
Friday, June 18, 2010
ARCHDaily!
See, not all architecture HAS to be bad -- but why does so much of it say, "If you have to ask how much...."
See, not all architecture HAS to be bad -- but why does so much of it say, "If you have to ask how much...."
Little Jeremy proposes the CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED tentpole.
Skimming this makes us sad that Zeitgeist probably won't go out of biz after all, but we can still hope.
Skimming this makes us sad that Zeitgeist probably won't go out of biz after all, but we can still hope.
Today at my friendly neighborhood Mickey D's (how's your three month vacation in South Africa, DON? Noisy? Wait until July 12) the CRETINS OF FORT MILL (along with a Mickey staff that, in its argot, could care less) were playing what one might call The Will Friedwald Channel, "classic" vocal pop of the 50s and 60s with that aggressive sound people like Will Friedwald find jazzy, full of muted trumpets and doinks and boinks (AHoooooWEEawwwk!!!!!) and Billy May -- and lots of Stan Kenton just below the surface -- mostly from Capitol. That stuff killed two birds with one stone: the musical theater and decent pop tunes. Some hard-voiced singer with a persistent vibrato was emoting "All the Things You Are". Though Benny Goodman and Artie Shaw must accept the blame for trying to turn that one into a jazz tune they were only making a hit from a hit; the song's really meant for a moderate unsyncopated tempo and lush strings and a lyric soprano*, but the JAZZMEN must rend it for all sorts of rhythmic accents Jerome Kern may not have intended, and the females must sing it like a torch song.
Worse is Ol' Blue's "immortal" rendition of "Luck Be a Lady", which he recorded, aptly enough, for a miscast Guys and Dolls studio album. Anyone knowing the original cast album knows how eloquent its score can be, owing in a big way to George Bassman and Ted Royal, who gave it an occasional haunting melancholy to match its ripping bustle; instead Ol' Blue RIPS out its heart and supplants it with showy brassin' and pretentious swingin' -- all so he can shout, "Take THAT, Shmuel Gelbfisz!" In short, it was music as revenge, and his listeners were the target.
By singing and playing the songs the same way, as a doinking boinking vocal showoffing contest, the Friedwalders chased the young crowd away -- although I'm guessing they would have been proud to do so, as much of youth pop in those days was infested with "riffraff." (Friedwald tells us that when Blue recorded the piece of fake-R&B junk called "Five Hundred Guys" after the one take he unceremoniously dropped the music to the floor.) And because the singers relied so heavily on the theater for their books, in cutting off the youth audience they slowly starved it of inspiration. If good songs were being sung by such squares, in such a square manner, why bother hearing it? Or writing it? Yes for a few years the musical theater survived with new writers, but even Charles Strouse and Jerry Herman did not have the long-lived consistency of the masters; and for a few years the riffraff wrote some memorable tunes, for the old verities still permeated even their world; but then the floor fell out, and we've been largely tuneless ever since.
*Although it was introduced in Very Warm for May by a tenor.
Worse is Ol' Blue's "immortal" rendition of "Luck Be a Lady", which he recorded, aptly enough, for a miscast Guys and Dolls studio album. Anyone knowing the original cast album knows how eloquent its score can be, owing in a big way to George Bassman and Ted Royal, who gave it an occasional haunting melancholy to match its ripping bustle; instead Ol' Blue RIPS out its heart and supplants it with showy brassin' and pretentious swingin' -- all so he can shout, "Take THAT, Shmuel Gelbfisz!" In short, it was music as revenge, and his listeners were the target.
By singing and playing the songs the same way, as a doinking boinking vocal showoffing contest, the Friedwalders chased the young crowd away -- although I'm guessing they would have been proud to do so, as much of youth pop in those days was infested with "riffraff." (Friedwald tells us that when Blue recorded the piece of fake-R&B junk called "Five Hundred Guys" after the one take he unceremoniously dropped the music to the floor.) And because the singers relied so heavily on the theater for their books, in cutting off the youth audience they slowly starved it of inspiration. If good songs were being sung by such squares, in such a square manner, why bother hearing it? Or writing it? Yes for a few years the musical theater survived with new writers, but even Charles Strouse and Jerry Herman did not have the long-lived consistency of the masters; and for a few years the riffraff wrote some memorable tunes, for the old verities still permeated even their world; but then the floor fell out, and we've been largely tuneless ever since.
*Although it was introduced in Very Warm for May by a tenor.
Speaking of BP -- and DIMWITS:
From Mark Murray and Domenico Montanaro
*** The week’s inflection point: Looking back at the past week, the White House might have been right: The week did serve as an inflection point in its handling of the BP spill. A two-day visit to the Gulf, a primetime Oval Office speech (though panned by pundits), the $20 billion BP escrow account, and GOP Rep. Joe Barton’s gift yesterday to Democrats all served to change the direction of the story about the spill -- at least temporarily. In Washington, the questions “Why isn’t the administration doing more?” or “Is Obama on top of this situation?” or “Will BP pay for the damages?” have died down.
11 workers died, this hole's leaking oil -- and all these two clods can think of is their godforsaken BELTWAY POLITICS.
From Mark Murray and Domenico Montanaro
*** The week’s inflection point: Looking back at the past week, the White House might have been right: The week did serve as an inflection point in its handling of the BP spill. A two-day visit to the Gulf, a primetime Oval Office speech (though panned by pundits), the $20 billion BP escrow account, and GOP Rep. Joe Barton’s gift yesterday to Democrats all served to change the direction of the story about the spill -- at least temporarily. In Washington, the questions “Why isn’t the administration doing more?” or “Is Obama on top of this situation?” or “Will BP pay for the damages?” have died down.
11 workers died, this hole's leaking oil -- and all these two clods can think of is their godforsaken BELTWAY POLITICS.
RON PAUL!!!!!!!!!! enthusiast and mathematics nut THE DUHB cites A SOURCE who says BP's blowout will leak ZILLIONS AND ZILLIONS OF GALLONS INTO THE GULF AND IT WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER BE CAPPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe. But the fact that this site is now indelibly linked with a crank does not help its credibility. And under the circumstances the fact that contributors like "Gail the Actuary" and "Prof. Goose" hide behind their cute pseudonyms doesn't help either. Yes, we believe it COULD leak forever, and it sounds credible that it might, but we are guessing someone can come up with some sort of solution, at the very least one that could mitigate the leaking. We're not Pollyannas but with lip-smacking words like "[t]he infantile optimism of post-JFK America" The DUHB has furrowed our brow today.
Maybe. But the fact that this site is now indelibly linked with a crank does not help its credibility. And under the circumstances the fact that contributors like "Gail the Actuary" and "Prof. Goose" hide behind their cute pseudonyms doesn't help either. Yes, we believe it COULD leak forever, and it sounds credible that it might, but we are guessing someone can come up with some sort of solution, at the very least one that could mitigate the leaking. We're not Pollyannas but with lip-smacking words like "[t]he infantile optimism of post-JFK America" The DUHB has furrowed our brow today.
In all, there were multiple injuries but no loss of life, officials said.
I'm sure we'll try to do BETTER next time.
I'm sure we'll try to do BETTER next time.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
ARCHDaily!
Hey like that's a neat skateboard rink, man!
The world's largest outdoor IKEA knickknack collector!
Give me a backwards E! Give me an S! Give me a 2! Give me a -- another E! What's that spell? ES2E?!?!?
Hey like that's a neat skateboard rink, man!
The world's largest outdoor IKEA knickknack collector!
Give me a backwards E! Give me an S! Give me a 2! Give me a -- another E! What's that spell? ES2E?!?!?
Press releases like this irritate us because news hacks can do for technocrappers what they did for LEGENDARY WELCHES and ST. WARRENS and THE LORD GOD STEVES. Just as they deify the latter for being emperors and tyrants they make the former inescapable pestilences through the device of appearing in with the in-crowd. And in both cases they all too amply celebrate LUCK. News hacks are partly to blame for the strong stench that emanates from our popular culture, and their answer is to throw more stink bombs our way.
Speaking of liberal practical jokes:
“Most of the increase in life expectancy in retirement has been among high income men,” explained Monique Morrissey, an economist at the Economic Policy Institute, a non-partisan think tank focusing on the concerns of low and middle income Americans.
Which occasioned this comment from "Mike M":
the Economic Policy Institute, a non-partisan think tank
How hard did you giggle when you typed that?
She is a contributing editor to the The Nation.... [SIC!!!!!]
Very.
“Most of the increase in life expectancy in retirement has been among high income men,” explained Monique Morrissey, an economist at the Economic Policy Institute, a non-partisan think tank focusing on the concerns of low and middle income Americans.
Which occasioned this comment from "Mike M":
the Economic Policy Institute, a non-partisan think tank
How hard did you giggle when you typed that?
She is a contributing editor to the The Nation.... [SIC!!!!!]
Very.
Keith Olbermann is apparently done writing a diary for lefty site Daily Kos. In an angry post titled "Check, Please," Olbermann lashes back at one critic on the site in particular who accused him of criticizing President Obama's oil speech to boost ratings.
Now jeez -- why would he think of doing a thing like THAT?
Now jeez -- why would he think of doing a thing like THAT?
Speaking of con-SER-va-tives, we all heard what Joe Barton had to say. Here's the problem -- con-SER-va-tives have been sorta kinda defending The Pretty Green and Yellow Flower as a form of iconoclasm aimed at His Omnipotence, and also because they never met a huge corporation they didn't like. Before they get too carried away, however, they should remember Iran -- and Libya. Yes, it's a form of shakedown, but look at who's getting shaken down.
Former Spanish Prime Minister: "If Israel Goes Down, We All Go Down"
Yes, but he was a CONSERVATIVE prime minister. The SUPERCHICKEN ZAP would probably say, "Eef Izrael gooooes dowwwn -- THEEE WORRRRLD GOOOES UP!!!!!"
We've come to a pretty pass when the only people willing to defend Israel are CONSERVATIVES.
Yes, but he was a CONSERVATIVE prime minister. The SUPERCHICKEN ZAP would probably say, "Eef Izrael gooooes dowwwn -- THEEE WORRRRLD GOOOES UP!!!!!"
We've come to a pretty pass when the only people willing to defend Israel are CONSERVATIVES.
ONLY IN HOLLYWOOD: The Writers Guild West, which has probably launched enough self-serving FIRST AMENDMENT!!!!! campaigns to make people disrespect the Bill of Rights, now insists ac-TORS have a right -- nay, a moral OBLIGATION -- to remove their birth dates from IMDB.com, because the information fosters (timpani roll, please) AGEISM.
Hey WGAW, don't you have more important things to do -- like stinking up entertainment even more with your "scripts"?
Hey WGAW, don't you have more important things to do -- like stinking up entertainment even more with your "scripts"?
CNN devises a fabulous excuse:
President Obama's speech on the gulf oil disaster may have gone over the heads of many in his audience, according to an analysis of the 18-minute talk released Wednesday.
Tuesday night's speech from the Oval Office of the White House was written to a 9.8 grade level, said Paul J.J. Payack, president of Global Language Monitor. The Austin, Texas-based company analyzes and catalogues trends in word usage and word choice and their impact on culture.
Though the president used slightly less than four sentences per paragraph, his 19.8 words per sentence "added some difficulty for his target audience," Payack said.
He singled out this sentence from Obama as unfortunate: "That is why just after the rig sank, I assembled a team of our nation's best scientists and engineers to tackle this challenge -- a team led by Dr. Steven Chu, a Nobel Prize-winning physicist and our nation's secretary of energy."
Just one problem: how would Honest Abe I's speeches go over? And no doubt HE wrote at a postgraduate level by today's standards -- and he had little formal education.
President Obama's speech on the gulf oil disaster may have gone over the heads of many in his audience, according to an analysis of the 18-minute talk released Wednesday.
Tuesday night's speech from the Oval Office of the White House was written to a 9.8 grade level, said Paul J.J. Payack, president of Global Language Monitor. The Austin, Texas-based company analyzes and catalogues trends in word usage and word choice and their impact on culture.
Though the president used slightly less than four sentences per paragraph, his 19.8 words per sentence "added some difficulty for his target audience," Payack said.
He singled out this sentence from Obama as unfortunate: "That is why just after the rig sank, I assembled a team of our nation's best scientists and engineers to tackle this challenge -- a team led by Dr. Steven Chu, a Nobel Prize-winning physicist and our nation's secretary of energy."
Just one problem: how would Honest Abe I's speeches go over? And no doubt HE wrote at a postgraduate level by today's standards -- and he had little formal education.
But for the photogenic nature of this ad it wouldn't be worth the time of day and waste of bandwidth, and this is precisely the sort of waste that overcrowds the Web and tires its denizens every single day.
Has anything happened at the World Cup lately, other than strikes and noisemakers and ads? Didn't think so.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
One of Gray-DOOHHNN's minions discovers the Web:
Obama Literally Cannot Stop Golfing for Long Enough to Just Fix the Gulf
Oh dear, oh dear, when DID they find WeeklyStandard.com?
Obama Literally Cannot Stop Golfing for Long Enough to Just Fix the Gulf
Oh dear, oh dear, when DID they find WeeklyStandard.com?
Lunch: Does Sopranos Creator David Chase Ever Smile?
Why should he? Did he not save the world with his genius?
Why should he? Did he not save the world with his genius?
Happily Jack seems to believe His Omnipotence will redeem Himself by the money He spends.
Stop, Keith "BECK" Olbermann -- and smell the fake roses!
Stop, Keith "BECK" Olbermann -- and smell the fake roses!
As LALA prepares for rio -- CELEBRATIONS, its authorities take an act against AHT that would surely get CARLOS'S JACKASSES very, very mad.
Congressional salaries are modest compared to what some politicians might make in the private sector.
Fortunately they can supplement their incomes with IMMORTALITY.
Fortunately they can supplement their incomes with IMMORTALITY.
For weeks, administration officials have been trumpeting Chu’s distinction at every opportunity. Earlier in the day, White House environmental guru Carol Browner cited the Nobel in a television interview. Presidential adviser David Axelrod talks about the Nobel all the time, as does Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. If there’s an official list of administration talking points about the response to the oil spill, “Chu’s Nobel” has to be at the top.
We can all applaud Chu’s accomplishment. But here’s the thing: Chu is a physicist, not an engineer or a biologist. His Nobel was awarded for the work he did in trapping individual atoms with lasers. He’s absurdly smart. But there’s nothing in his background to suggest he knows any more about capping an out-of-control deep-sea well, or containing a gargantuan oil spill, than, say, columnist Paul Krugman, who won the Nobel in economics. Or novelist Toni Morrison, who won the Nobel in literature.
OR...never mind.
(Via EM)
We can all applaud Chu’s accomplishment. But here’s the thing: Chu is a physicist, not an engineer or a biologist. His Nobel was awarded for the work he did in trapping individual atoms with lasers. He’s absurdly smart. But there’s nothing in his background to suggest he knows any more about capping an out-of-control deep-sea well, or containing a gargantuan oil spill, than, say, columnist Paul Krugman, who won the Nobel in economics. Or novelist Toni Morrison, who won the Nobel in literature.
OR...never mind.
(Via EM)
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has more than quadrupled the rent on her San Francisco district office, making the $18,736-a-month cost of her new South of Market space the highest in the House, according to a new report.
Who's paying the rent?
Who's paying the rent?
We wonder if the Bush mere et fille made their CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED remarks in part to get back at their NEANDERTHAL husband/father.
If Dubya were a different man we'd have the first post-presidential DIVORCE.
If Dubya were a different man we'd have the first post-presidential DIVORCE.
Why must GanNETt always act as though it has a financial interest in the show-biz genius it unreports on?
As for the real subject of this ad -- I always confuse him with PARIS, for more than one reason.
As for the real subject of this ad -- I always confuse him with PARIS, for more than one reason.
The good news:
Magazine Print Ad Revenue Will Ebb Until 2013, Outlook Says
The bad news:
But Magazines' Digital Ad Revenue Expected to Keep Growing
TRANSLATION: More stupid unnecessary rags from the usual gang of idiots.
Magazine Print Ad Revenue Will Ebb Until 2013, Outlook Says
The bad news:
But Magazines' Digital Ad Revenue Expected to Keep Growing
TRANSLATION: More stupid unnecessary rags from the usual gang of idiots.
Hamas TV forced to halt broadcasts to Europe
TRANSLATION: The bad guys will merely take to the Web. Whatever THE PROFESSOR and B. S. DEFENDER gas, the Web has not helped the good guys -- witness the aborted Iranian uprising -- but it has tremendously helped the bad.
It has been a while since I visited those two clowns' sites, and I'd guess that while will be longer.
TRANSLATION: The bad guys will merely take to the Web. Whatever THE PROFESSOR and B. S. DEFENDER gas, the Web has not helped the good guys -- witness the aborted Iranian uprising -- but it has tremendously helped the bad.
It has been a while since I visited those two clowns' sites, and I'd guess that while will be longer.
The United Nations' arm for education, science and culture decided Tuesday to delay awarding a prize that had outraged critics because it was named for Equatorial Guinea's longtime dictator.
Why stop with awards? Why not the Fidel Castro Human Rights Council? Or the Mahmoud Ahmadinejad International Atomic Energy Agency? Heck let's rename the League of Nations for Stalin or Hitler or Mao! The possibilities are endless.
Why stop with awards? Why not the Fidel Castro Human Rights Council? Or the Mahmoud Ahmadinejad International Atomic Energy Agency? Heck let's rename the League of Nations for Stalin or Hitler or Mao! The possibilities are endless.
Whitman campaign spokeswoman Sarah Pompei issued a statement defending the Republican candidate as a "RESULTS-FOCUSED BOSS!!!!!" (Results-focused overemphasis added)
As anyone will know who's been SCAMMED by eBay.
As anyone will know who's been SCAMMED by eBay.
Elssewhere from the ASSPress: in FUUUTBALLLLLL news: All three North Koreans with TVs will get to see the World Cup live! AND: The Cup's security workers are on strike! We're astonished that would happen in South Africa!
Home builders' index dives after tax break expires
Best Buy shares drop on profit, sales shortfall
DOW 20,000!!!!!
Best Buy shares drop on profit, sales shortfall
DOW 20,000!!!!!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Callaway Golf Co. on Monday said it expects its second-quarter profit and revenue to be roughly flat with the year-ago quarter, but well below Wall Street forecasts.
Shares fell sharply in after-hours trading following the announcement.
Maybe all those CEOs won't return to their second offices THAT quickly.
Shares fell sharply in after-hours trading following the announcement.
Maybe all those CEOs won't return to their second offices THAT quickly.
Speaking of advertising:
[T]he government’s story sounds like the sort of PR stunt put out by Pink Sheet scammers.
AND PARROTED CREDULOUSLY BY NEWS HACKS!
(Via Seeking Alpha)
[T]he government’s story sounds like the sort of PR stunt put out by Pink Sheet scammers.
AND PARROTED CREDULOUSLY BY NEWS HACKS!
(Via Seeking Alpha)
When we consider the millions of bloggers and thousands of PEOPLE WARNER functionaries who'd get excited over this, and we consider an ac-TOR who is already considerably -- overexposed would deem fit to solicit more publicity, we must ask: don't some people have better things to do?
Of course not, or they wouldn't be ac-TORS -- or bloggers.
P. S. Or PEOPLE AT PEOPLE WARNER:
A SPECIAL NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO JULIE -- AND TO JEFF BEWKES, THE TONY HAYWARD OF MEDIA!
(Highlight added)
Of course not, or they wouldn't be ac-TORS -- or bloggers.
P. S. Or PEOPLE AT PEOPLE WARNER:
A SPECIAL NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO JULIE -- AND TO JEFF BEWKES, THE TONY HAYWARD OF MEDIA!
(Highlight added)
[T]he State Department’s annual report on human trafficking nevertheless brands 13 countries as standouts for failure to address rampant cases of sex trading, indentured domestic work, forced field labor, and other varieties of slavery within their borders.
The global scofflaws range from Kuwait and Saudi Arabia to North Korea and Cuba. The bright spots include Pakistan, Malaysia, Syria, Egypt, and Bosnia-Herzegovina – countries that don’t always shine in annual human-rights ratings but that the State Department found have acted to address human-trafficking issues over the past year.
What shall His Omnipotence do? These are our allies!
The global scofflaws range from Kuwait and Saudi Arabia to North Korea and Cuba. The bright spots include Pakistan, Malaysia, Syria, Egypt, and Bosnia-Herzegovina – countries that don’t always shine in annual human-rights ratings but that the State Department found have acted to address human-trafficking issues over the past year.
What shall His Omnipotence do? These are our allies!
Still, it may be tough to win back the favor of an audience that has been trained to expect more than Hollywood has delivered in the last few weeks. One danger is that potential filmgoers tend to overlook a next round of pictures when they did not like the last batch.
“It’s all about changing their mood,” Dennis Rice, a marketing consultant who previously ran Disney’s publicity operation, said of the entertainment business. [Emphasis added]
OH, so it's THEIR mood -- NOT YOURS.
“It’s all about changing their mood,” Dennis Rice, a marketing consultant who previously ran Disney’s publicity operation, said of the entertainment business. [Emphasis added]
OH, so it's THEIR mood -- NOT YOURS.
We are sorry to learn (although well after the fact) that LARRY KING!!!!!'s wife attempted suicide, reason enough we fear for CNN to renew His contract.
(Second link via IWantMedia)
(Second link via IWantMedia)
Which reminds us -- if CARLOS'S JACKASSES didn't write their stories on HOT TRENDS would Jack Shafer have a column?
(Via THE BIG C -- which is preparing for ANOTHER INCREDIBLE RALLY!)
(Via THE BIG C -- which is preparing for ANOTHER INCREDIBLE RALLY!)
Nine years ago, Benny forcefully assured us, the musical FOUND ITS VOICE. That same year, in a show with an ick-provoking title, Chuck assured us the musical FOUND ITS VOICE. Three or four years ago Benny again assured us the musical FOUND ITS VOICE. Why it was just a few short months ago that someone recycled some rock album and Benny (or Chuck) assured us yet again that the musical FOUND ITS VOICE. Now Chuck panics that all of a sudden it has laryngitis. Where have his ears been these last few years? Regardless that most Paper of Re-CORD cri-TICS are senseless you'd think it would occur to SOMEBODY that MAYBE Dick and Larry aren't writing the songs anymore. Of course it wouldn't -- or we wouldn't have the voice-finding GENIUS of the last nine years.
CARLOS THE JACKASS! Put Your site behind a pay wall -- NOW!
(Via the usual AHTSJournal)
CARLOS THE JACKASS! Put Your site behind a pay wall -- NOW!
(Via the usual AHTSJournal)
Sunday, June 13, 2010
We are sorry to hear that Jimmy Dean, who will be forever known for his breakfast sausage but should better be remembered as a pretty fair country troubadour, and who must also be remembered for the signal act of helping introduce the Muppets on his weekly variety show, has died. RIP.
(Via ASSPress; originally posted 10:49 p. m.)
It's official: Scarlett can ACT.
And so can Mrs. Michael Douglas.
Will that REALLY help the ratings?
P. S. on 6/14 at 7:02 p. m. NO. (Caveat: It was up against THE ATTITUDE LEAGUE.)
And so can Mrs. Michael Douglas.
Will that REALLY help the ratings?
P. S. on 6/14 at 7:02 p. m. NO. (Caveat: It was up against THE ATTITUDE LEAGUE.)
ARCHDaily!
Here's the problem with starchitects: They give us ugly CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED buildings or they give us this. In the twenties, in a truly golden age of architecture, it would have been gorgeous; today it looks like Boston's City Hall, improved. That this went up in Prague means nothing; STARCHITECTURE and such uninspired blocks can rise anywhere.
And for JonBoy's site to proclaim an "age of excess" is receding says his hacks haven't surfed ARCHDaily!
P. S. An architecture school!
Here's the problem with starchitects: They give us ugly CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED buildings or they give us this. In the twenties, in a truly golden age of architecture, it would have been gorgeous; today it looks like Boston's City Hall, improved. That this went up in Prague means nothing; STARCHITECTURE and such uninspired blocks can rise anywhere.
And for JonBoy's site to proclaim an "age of excess" is receding says his hacks haven't surfed ARCHDaily!
P. S. An architecture school!
I don't think of CEOs as superheroes; to me they're paper-pushing buffoons with luck. NEWS HACKS define CEOs, and in the absence of true national leaders they helped create LEGENDARY WELCHES and ST. WARRENS and the total Cult on Invincibility. They turned piles of flesh into crusading genius because they think in blurbs. Blame THEM.
It says something of the Democrats that they have to campaign so hard using an ex-president, the current one being damaged goods. (Assuming, that is, this isn't a another news hack favor.)
I submit this recession is hitting America harder because we lack an existential purpose. Past generations got through worse because they knew the country stood for something. I've said it before: What do we stand for? Venal featherbedding politicians? No-talents in our culture? God's Servants? Dilberts? Abortions? The Founding Fathers' glory grows ever more distant, and we face a world with NUKEMEN with nothing but a stomach growl, and a headache.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Thompson, a 20-year company veteran, has kept a low public profile since moving up from his old job as president of U.S. operations.
TRANSLATION: You can't get him out of the limo.
But as he stopped in South Africa last week to launch the company's global sponsorship of the FIFA World Cup....
Which ends JULY 11. Have a nice three-month vacation, DON!
TRANSLATION: You can't get him out of the limo.
But as he stopped in South Africa last week to launch the company's global sponsorship of the FIFA World Cup....
Which ends JULY 11. Have a nice three-month vacation, DON!
ABOUT JONATHAN STORM
MY SO-CALLED LIFE! SEINFELD!! THE SOPRANOS!!! BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER!!!! SURVIVOR!!!!! I’LL FLY AWAY!!!!!! CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION!!!!!!! THE X-FILES!!!!!!!! NORTHERN EXPOSURE!!!!!!!!! ROSEANNE!!!!!!!!!! GILMORE GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!! NYPD BLUE!!!!!!!!!!!! FRASIER!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALLY MCBEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND, IN THE MUCH-TOO-OVERLOOKED CATEGORY, AMERICAN DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE RICHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE FLYING CONCHORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TV HAS GIVEN US WONDROUS FARE OVER THE LAST 20 YEARS, AND PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER TV CRITIC JONATHAN STORM HAS BEEN PAID TO WATCH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Wondrous overemphasis added]
Alas it appears Jonny will still be paid to watch it, but he reminds us of one reason the VeryStinkyInky should have folded. News hacks love to drumbeat it into our dear little ears that they give us what we need. Too often however they give us what they think they deserve -- triumphal backscratching, epochal logrolling, immortal toadying, and the subsequent emblazoning of their names on the wall of glory. Never mind they can't strike a wet match with their prose. How fitting that I found this breathless (and most likely self-) congratulation amidst this ad, which should prove the VeryStinkyInky isn't worth the blogs it's printed on.
MY SO-CALLED LIFE! SEINFELD!! THE SOPRANOS!!! BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER!!!! SURVIVOR!!!!! I’LL FLY AWAY!!!!!! CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION!!!!!!! THE X-FILES!!!!!!!! NORTHERN EXPOSURE!!!!!!!!! ROSEANNE!!!!!!!!!! GILMORE GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!! NYPD BLUE!!!!!!!!!!!! FRASIER!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALLY MCBEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND, IN THE MUCH-TOO-OVERLOOKED CATEGORY, AMERICAN DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE RICHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE FLYING CONCHORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TV HAS GIVEN US WONDROUS FARE OVER THE LAST 20 YEARS, AND PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER TV CRITIC JONATHAN STORM HAS BEEN PAID TO WATCH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Wondrous overemphasis added]
Alas it appears Jonny will still be paid to watch it, but he reminds us of one reason the VeryStinkyInky should have folded. News hacks love to drumbeat it into our dear little ears that they give us what we need. Too often however they give us what they think they deserve -- triumphal backscratching, epochal logrolling, immortal toadying, and the subsequent emblazoning of their names on the wall of glory. Never mind they can't strike a wet match with their prose. How fitting that I found this breathless (and most likely self-) congratulation amidst this ad, which should prove the VeryStinkyInky isn't worth the blogs it's printed on.
Friday, June 11, 2010
This ad makes us pine for the days when GCI was $3 a share.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO KITTY BEAN!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO KITTY BEAN!
And as BRANSON EAST prepares to cast its ballots for the best tourist trap of the season:
"Voters prefer lovable queens to angry black men."
No, BRANSON EAST will NEVER change.
"Voters prefer lovable queens to angry black men."
No, BRANSON EAST will NEVER change.
Elsewhere in Grate.com, the men who proclaimed His Omnipotence God, John F. Kennedy, Abraham Lincoln and Franklin Delano Roosevelt have finally thrown in the paper napkin and conceded their Hero is among many, many other things a Terrible Tempered Mr. Bang who can't do anything right.
And still elsewhere in Grate.com, someone has proclaimed all His bowing and scraping a failure too.
Every four years we have tedious talk that finally fuutballllll -- SOCCER is going to excite the American throngs. And every four years we have tedious think pieces proclaiming it will never happen.
We say, the more things change...
We say, the more things change...
Getting back to the movee extrusion biz, it is appropriate that the summer's biggest comedy hit is the writing credits on The A-Team. This is like a Polish joke only Polish jokes usually don't cost $100 million and aren't accompanied with $50 million in advertising. But even in their finest hours of megalomania the pygmy kings of Hollywood can't laugh -- as witness this heavy thinking in SLIMEDOM as to whether A could be an ADULT movee:
Tom Rothman would never have allowed that. Rothman hates R-rated movies more than anything for box office reasons," a source reminds me.
I thought being better than your audience and excluding lots of them from the theaters was always a smash!
Tom Rothman would never have allowed that. Rothman hates R-rated movies more than anything for box office reasons," a source reminds me.
I thought being better than your audience and excluding lots of them from the theaters was always a smash!
We note that the CRYONIC MAYOR, fresh from two months in luxury boxes at the United Center, all but rushed with superhuman speed to the mike to proclaim His turnips won't have to pay a dime for today's coronation of the Blackhawks. As well he should. For every fan going into a Blutonian frenzy are three people who resent they have to pay to make good for mobs, and it behooves corporate America to sweep up their elephantine leavings -- although God knows how many tax breaks they'll take, or whether they've been outside of a luxury box in ages themselves.
In fairness, though, it appears the Chicago fans were well behaved, and we salute them for their good nature.
In fairness, though, it appears the Chicago fans were well behaved, and we salute them for their good nature.
It is better that SYNERGY Corliss write this way now than never (although he "effuses" over 2009 as though it were a magical golden age). Nonetheless if SYNERGY's principal occupation weren't bootlicking he could have seen this coming as far back as when he saw MICKEYMOUSE NIXON walking on water.
Richard Schickel, TIME's longest-serving film critic, once said about the challenge of reviewing Hollywood's summer product, "It's not that they're bad movies, it's that they're all the same bad movie."
We wonder why someone like DICK SCHICK keeps going; the movies retired long before he will.
Richard Schickel, TIME's longest-serving film critic, once said about the challenge of reviewing Hollywood's summer product, "It's not that they're bad movies, it's that they're all the same bad movie."
We wonder why someone like DICK SCHICK keeps going; the movies retired long before he will.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Isn't the situation with Mexico bad enough without loaded words like "intifada"?
I don't know if Beto's a hard-core Obamacrat but I blame the TWXSTERS, who have their own brand of foot stomping.
P. S. Beto's VERY LENGTHY Wiki entry doesn't mention his party affiliation, so I'd say he is. (He is.)
P. P. S. at 10:28 p. m. Somebody has since changed it.
P. P. P. S. on 6/13 at 11:52 a. m. You should know somebody was me. But somebody else unchanged it because I couldn't prove Beto is a Democrat. I posted another remark on his Wiki page and let the thing pass; to paraphrase LORD KOPPEL, changing a Wiki entry is like popping a pimple on an elephant's behind.
I don't know if Beto's a hard-core Obamacrat but I blame the TWXSTERS, who have their own brand of foot stomping.
P. S. Beto's VERY LENGTHY Wiki entry doesn't mention his party affiliation, so I'd say he is. (He is.)
P. P. S. at 10:28 p. m. Somebody has since changed it.
P. P. P. S. on 6/13 at 11:52 a. m. You should know somebody was me. But somebody else unchanged it because I couldn't prove Beto is a Democrat. I posted another remark on his Wiki page and let the thing pass; to paraphrase LORD KOPPEL, changing a Wiki entry is like popping a pimple on an elephant's behind.
The problem with little General Motors COMPANY trying to SUMNERIZE "Chevy" (i.e., create a cheap PR stunt for cheap exposure) is that for us taxpayer OWNERS it isn't so cheap.
Speaking of professional college football, with all these bruited mergers and acquisitions shouldn't Henry Kravis be involved?
When younuhversuhtee CEOs speak of "amateurism" they speak the same way Tony does of the environment.
When younuhversuhtee CEOs speak of "amateurism" they speak the same way Tony does of the environment.
The June 14 issue of The New Yorker, perhaps the premier showcase for American fiction, features a list of “20 Under 40” — that is, 20 accomplished writers under the age of 40. Many of the names are familiar: Joshua Ferris, Jonathan Safran Foer, Nell Freudenberger, Rivka Galchen, Nicole Krauss, Gary Shteyngart, ZZ Packer, Wells Tower.
Well all right, I've heard of one -- but mightn't the fact that most people have heard of zilch say these geniuses aren't as hot as their agents and the flacks in the literary revues claim?
"Premier showcase for American fiction" would earn this guy a job at USAOKAY!!!!! if he weren't talking boring overrated books.
Another clue that we won't lose much when The Paper of Re-CORD hides behind a pay wall.
(Via the usual AHTSJournal)
Well all right, I've heard of one -- but mightn't the fact that most people have heard of zilch say these geniuses aren't as hot as their agents and the flacks in the literary revues claim?
"Premier showcase for American fiction" would earn this guy a job at USAOKAY!!!!! if he weren't talking boring overrated books.
Another clue that we won't lose much when The Paper of Re-CORD hides behind a pay wall.
(Via the usual AHTSJournal)