THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Saturday, July 05, 2003
Okay Pinch, what do we do about these hard-core reactionary LUNATIC FRINGE -- er, Catholic traditionalists?
Well well well! We think we're being oh so healthy drinking bottled water. So what happens? In being oh so healthy, so environmentally friendly, we leave a trail of gazillions of plastic bottles.
I don't think plain old tap water does that.
I don't think plain old tap water does that.
Yep, Jayson is long gone. Now we can call the executive director of Vancouver's British Vicarage and Tea Time Club "Martin Luther." As I recall, Luther fought corruption in the Catholic Church. This guy's sole purpose is to please Pinch. Just one problem: he seems to have made enemies in "Africa, Asia and Latin America," where the Club is still actually regarded as a church. Ordinarily we might listen to such concerns, as, after all, that part of the world is PC; but our American kind of PC always trumps anyone else's, and thus it is at the normally un-nationalistic Times.
P. S. Here's the weenie who runs the Tea Time Club in Canterbury:
And here's the weenie who runs the Tea Time Club in Vancouver:
I guess there's something about talking to yourself all day that makes you look like an overgrown dork. (I know from experience.)
P. S. Here's the weenie who runs the Tea Time Club in Canterbury:
And here's the weenie who runs the Tea Time Club in Vancouver:
I guess there's something about talking to yourself all day that makes you look like an overgrown dork. (I know from experience.)
OH oh, that far-right reactionary Uncle Tom Ward Connerly wants to end government identification of people by race. What's next? Treating all people the same regardless of skin color?
Our Self-Serving News-Hack Cliche of the Week is that the Web has made Gov. Dean a "contender." There's no denying the power of the Internet in leftist politics. (Of course, the same is true on the other side, but we'll ignore that for now, just as news hacks would.) There's a catch, though: the anti-war movement did some pretty nifty organizing, and it lost. So will Gov. Dean.
Friday, July 04, 2003
Disney's U.S. Theme Parks Pay Coast-to-Coast Tribute To U.S. Troops
WELL, I am SO proud. But isn't this the same company (no it's not; it's MIRAMAX) that may or may not be bankrolling Michael "Fatso" Moore's screed about how Dubya planned 9/11?
I think the mighty Dr. Johnson may have had Mickey Mouse Michael in mind when he said, "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."
WELL, I am SO proud. But isn't this the same company (no it's not; it's MIRAMAX) that may or may not be bankrolling Michael "Fatso" Moore's screed about how Dubya planned 9/11?
I think the mighty Dr. Johnson may have had Mickey Mouse Michael in mind when he said, "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."
It is bad enough in the mind of some "activist" on Long Island that pigs should be raced -- but what takes the prize is, they race for OREOS!!!!!
I wonder if PC would have happened if we'd remained British colonies.
Anyway, I thought it would be cute to include Newsday's photo of racing pigs. Does that mean I'm exploiting them too?
Well, here's my celebration of July 4th. We should always remember this day isn't just about hot-dog-eating contests.
Today some clown on a rooftop has let loose a barrage of noisemakers from the morning on. I don't buy the "it's July the Fourth" biz. If people want fireworks let them see the fireworks shows. Besides, Independence Day fireworks have wreaked havoc elsewhere -- not just this past week, but in history.
I guess I'm a party pooper, but I can't work up an appetite for parades and music and fireworks when the temperature's 95 and the humidity matches. Why couldn't the Founders have given birth to our nation in October, during the football season?
You can't have everything.
You can't have everything.
Thursday, July 03, 2003
A prime minister who may have verged on corruption probably shouldn't have called a German official a Nazi. Then again, given the Germans' recent behavior, what else could he call him?
It appears RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! may be thinking twice about banning Charlie Chan. And it does smell of a publicity stunt, although RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s "conservative" credential took a deserved hit. Did you ever hear of the Fox Movie Channel?
Andy S.'s "new and comprehensive [and hard to read] summary of fantastic media bias" at the Beeb discloses one worthy defense: an international brodacaster must choose its words carefully. Appellations like terrorist do not merely apply to our war on terrorism or the Arab-Israeli crisis. And too often the Beeb's critics are exceedingly fussy on its diction. That said, the Beeb also owes it to humanity to uphold certain standards, like the inviolability of human life, and given its PC one wonders whether it believes even in that. Still, I'd feel no better (and in some ways worse) if RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! took it over, as his subordinate Andy S. might like; we'd replace one kind of bull with another.
Escalators scare me too.
More news hack excellence: On its front page MESS.com refers to it as an elevator. (These same clowns gave us a link to that STOOOOPID BLUNDER.com article.)
More news hack excellence: On its front page MESS.com refers to it as an elevator. (These same clowns gave us a link to that STOOOOPID BLUNDER.com article.)
Cynicism is so 1990. sincerity [sic] is back in vogue.
From what I've seen on the Web this morning cynicism is stronger with news hacks than ever.
From what I've seen on the Web this morning cynicism is stronger with news hacks than ever.
It is not enough for news hacks to be like the little boy who cried wolf; they must be the little boy who cries, "VOTE DEMOCRATIC!"
And then when someone scolds him the little boy whines, "It came from across the street!"
And after he's spent a long time studying the squashed bird on the pavement the little boy goes home, crying, "CHARLIE'S ANGELS 2! THE MOVIE OF THE CENTURY!!!!!"
And then when someone scolds him the little boy whines, "It came from across the street!"
And after he's spent a long time studying the squashed bird on the pavement the little boy goes home, crying, "CHARLIE'S ANGELS 2! THE MOVIE OF THE CENTURY!!!!!"
Okay, perhaps our president and his crew do go a little overboard on occasion with their bluster, but I'd rather hear this than "malaise" or "COME HOOOOOOME, AMERICA!"
Although I would think Democrats would be happy with more attacks on our soldiers. Then the news hacks would cry QUAGMIRE!!!!! some more, and the Democrats could politic some more, and....
Although I would think Democrats would be happy with more attacks on our soldiers. Then the news hacks would cry QUAGMIRE!!!!! some more, and the Democrats could politic some more, and....
Yes, L'Affaire Blair has definitely passed. A Times campaign manager likens Dubya to Hoobert Heever.
Which reminds me, L'Affaire Blair seems to have passed without further incident, proof of the healing power of big egos and inflated salaries.
Another one of those private tragedies that brings happiness to news hacks. Honest to God, some of these people ought to drink ammonia and drown themselves.
And this goes hand in hand with show-biz PR and QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! too.
And this goes hand in hand with show-biz PR and QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! too.
Another BLUNDER Devin says hooray for porn.
If it's that good d'you think we could get MR. BUFFETT to run some in the magazine and your Web site?
What news hacks don't spin, they sell. This and QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! come from the same tenth-rate non-minds.
If it's that good d'you think we could get MR. BUFFETT to run some in the magazine and your Web site?
What news hacks don't spin, they sell. This and QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! come from the same tenth-rate non-minds.
OOOOOOOOOoooooooooh! The Oscar® people get tough on publicists!
Or as one typically anonymous quote source says, "I think the academy should now go buy some land and build an academy jail."
Or as one typically anonymous quote source says, "I think the academy should now go buy some land and build an academy jail."
Wednesday, July 02, 2003
Detroit's homicide rate headed to a 35-year low
But do the Babbitts still stay away because of -- never mind. (Of course it helps too that the town's population's been cut in half.)
But do the Babbitts still stay away because of -- never mind. (Of course it helps too that the town's population's been cut in half.)
One last word on Katharine Hepburn -- hers (via Rex Reed):
It’s a wonderful thing to have a high aim in life, a real ambition. Today all you see is self-pity and "I’m so misunderstood, poor little me, I’m such a failure." No humor in anything. And everyone getting kicked around by society with an excuse. I will not accept excuses and I will never give one. You’re either on time or you’re late. You either remember your lines or you don’t. You either pay your bills or you go to jail. I’m sick and tired of a whole generation of kids who say "I’m tired" or "I’m nervous" or this and that. If you’re tired, give yourself some gas and climb that hill. Why you can’t do something is of practically no interest at all to me, unless you say you’ve got a size-eight foot in a size-five shoe and can’t take another step. To this I say take off your shoes and hop on my back and I’ll carry you the rest of the way. But it’s a poor habit in life to blame anyone but yourself for anything.
I was brought up by two freedom-loving parents, the eldest of six children, and we were taught to express ourselves as long as we were interesting and could hold the floor. But if we were bores and there were other fascinating people in the room, we damned well learned to keep our big mouths shut. My parents were funny, vigorous and right on top of all the new thinking, but I was mightily snubbed as a kid by many, many people, which put a good chip on my shoulder to get ahead and show that I was worth something.
You were worth something. God bless you, Kate -- even if you were an atheist.
It’s a wonderful thing to have a high aim in life, a real ambition. Today all you see is self-pity and "I’m so misunderstood, poor little me, I’m such a failure." No humor in anything. And everyone getting kicked around by society with an excuse. I will not accept excuses and I will never give one. You’re either on time or you’re late. You either remember your lines or you don’t. You either pay your bills or you go to jail. I’m sick and tired of a whole generation of kids who say "I’m tired" or "I’m nervous" or this and that. If you’re tired, give yourself some gas and climb that hill. Why you can’t do something is of practically no interest at all to me, unless you say you’ve got a size-eight foot in a size-five shoe and can’t take another step. To this I say take off your shoes and hop on my back and I’ll carry you the rest of the way. But it’s a poor habit in life to blame anyone but yourself for anything.
I was brought up by two freedom-loving parents, the eldest of six children, and we were taught to express ourselves as long as we were interesting and could hold the floor. But if we were bores and there were other fascinating people in the room, we damned well learned to keep our big mouths shut. My parents were funny, vigorous and right on top of all the new thinking, but I was mightily snubbed as a kid by many, many people, which put a good chip on my shoulder to get ahead and show that I was worth something.
You were worth something. God bless you, Kate -- even if you were an atheist.
A BRILLIANT IDEA: Bring back Howell on 60 Minutes. It would be the personality cult all over again. Besides, how could he work in good conscience at the network that brings us -- AUGUSTA?
Even faced with the possibility that Saddam Hussein killed one million of his fellow Iraqis, the anti-war movement (of which news hacks were an integral part) will never apologize. Why should it? Its leaders effectively rule the world.
Cable stealing is illegal. Perhaps there'd be less of it if the cable behemoths didn't take such a blithe attitude toward their turnips -- er, customers.
Of course, whenever news hacks report on the biz, practically the only words in their stories are "cash flow."
Of course, whenever news hacks report on the biz, practically the only words in their stories are "cash flow."
But for quick thinking by a Viacon Network employee news hacks would probably be front-page mourning the tragic loss of THE ZON, who would have died of a cerebral hemorrhage had he learned his network would air the whole of the 1812 Overture.
With ATWOLA rag never losing a chance to razz its readers, how does it manage to sell four million copies a week?
Tuesday, July 01, 2003
After what Nobel laureates said about the war I think we can pay this medallion bearer no mind.
An Iranian writer named Amir Taheri gives us reasons for optimism about the Arab world. Let's hope Arabs don't give us too many of the usual reasons for pessimism.
Liberia's a nation where we have no real strategic interest, where we probably can't stop 33 1/3 revolutions per minute -- but we may have to go there anyway; it's our not-too-distant cousin. And after all, it's us or the League of Nations, and Kofi's crew guarantees genocide.
Hey GoogleBlogger! WHEN WILL YOU QUIT WITH THE HICCUPS?!?!?
OUR KIND OF FREE ENTERPRISE: A phone company (Verizon) cuts its high-speed-Internet access rates. So what does a cable company (Cablevision) do? It raises them!
And a Wall Street superdupersales -- er, analyst approves (Jessica "Rife" Reif Cohen, another JACK job contender).
And a Wall Street superdupersales -- er, analyst approves (Jessica "Rife" Reif Cohen, another JACK job contender).
Here is why Mark Steyn is a national treasure:
Gypsy would work if it was me directing and Hillary Clinton as Mama Rose.
And heck, Mr. Steyn, ever since you were exiled from oh-so-PC Canada, we've made you our national treasure.
Gypsy would work if it was me directing and Hillary Clinton as Mama Rose.
And heck, Mr. Steyn, ever since you were exiled from oh-so-PC Canada, we've made you our national treasure.
When Dr. Johnson uttered his immortal line,
[N]o government power can be abused long. Mankind will not bear it. If a sovereign oppresses his people to a great degree, they will rise and cut off his head. There is a remedy in human nature against tyranny, that will keep us safe under every form of government.
he anticipated protests like the one in Hong Kong. Sadly, he couldn't have anticipated the People's Republic of China.
[N]o government power can be abused long. Mankind will not bear it. If a sovereign oppresses his people to a great degree, they will rise and cut off his head. There is a remedy in human nature against tyranny, that will keep us safe under every form of government.
he anticipated protests like the one in Hong Kong. Sadly, he couldn't have anticipated the People's Republic of China.
The Mogul's Friend, who must also be considered in the running for JACK's job, writes a supremely annoying article on his Alphabet Soup. The fact is, everything about it is satisfactory to news hacks because it leaves the media's overweaning power untouched. By moving responsibility for content from the industry to "the parents," JACK committed a masterstroke by vastly increasing their power to dictate the terms of life and vastly reducing their culpability for it. In short, their stainless-steel fist got a titanium glove. It should not surprise us that the alleged board of parents that determines which letters go into the soup is more secretive than the CIA, yet another manifestation of power. So long as the only thing that news hacks want is a version of the late Gene "All-Thumbs" Siskel's "A" rating (that millionaire fraud never read The Scarlet Letter, or anything else), which inspired the NC-17, so long as news hacks endorse the status quo by default, there will be no real change, and the system will remain an artistic and societal injustice. FACE IT, Mogul's Friend: maybe CENSORHIP WAS BETTER. God knows people like PC RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! practice it.
You're right, Peter Carlson, people who read Vanity Fair "have no life."
I see also in this column that Stephen King has called The Corrections "patronizing and self-indulgent." Maybe he isn't that bad.
I see also in this column that Stephen King has called The Corrections "patronizing and self-indulgent." Maybe he isn't that bad.
Also on the PC front, RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, who assaults our senses in thousands of ways, gives in to pressure groups and drops a Charlie Chan film festival.
The ideological pretzel of liberalism acquires new knots.
The ideological pretzel of liberalism acquires new knots.
Altria MOtive Foods gives in to PC nutritionists to avoid lawsuits.
It may reduce fat and sugar, but you can bet it won't reduce dollars to The Osama Channel.
ADDENDUM: Clearly poor diet is linked to disease. I see nothing wrong with food companies subtly reengineering products and widening our choices (although God knows there are already enough line extensions), and they should educate consumers on better eating. And it's understating it that the food companies have played too many marketing tricks with kids: Kellogg's practically invented bad children's television as the patron saint of Hanna-Barbera. What bugs me is this biz will go on a grand PC New Coke campaign and leave us with inferior products and the tantrum throwers unsatisifed. And yes, the PC angle (and Altria MOtive Foods's tobacco connections) makes this one reek.
It may reduce fat and sugar, but you can bet it won't reduce dollars to The Osama Channel.
ADDENDUM: Clearly poor diet is linked to disease. I see nothing wrong with food companies subtly reengineering products and widening our choices (although God knows there are already enough line extensions), and they should educate consumers on better eating. And it's understating it that the food companies have played too many marketing tricks with kids: Kellogg's practically invented bad children's television as the patron saint of Hanna-Barbera. What bugs me is this biz will go on a grand PC New Coke campaign and leave us with inferior products and the tantrum throwers unsatisifed. And yes, the PC angle (and Altria MOtive Foods's tobacco connections) makes this one reek.
When Buddy Hackett was on The Hollywood Squares did he bluff a lot?
P. S. With what he thinks is cleverness, a New York Times scribbler likens Hackett's face to "a plate of mashed potatoes." I'd rather liken the Times' writing to a plate of petrified mashed potatoes.
P.P.S. More on the news hacks' obsession with reliable stats: The Times says he was 78. Reuters says he was 79. How old was he?
P. S. With what he thinks is cleverness, a New York Times scribbler likens Hackett's face to "a plate of mashed potatoes." I'd rather liken the Times' writing to a plate of petrified mashed potatoes.
P.P.S. More on the news hacks' obsession with reliable stats: The Times says he was 78. Reuters says he was 79. How old was he?
QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! with the word "retired" five times was rather risible, so today we seek out a staff sergeant. A staff sergeant.
I'll say it again: What drives me bananas about the jaysonists is that they criticize -- usually in the oblique, weasel-worded manner of "objectivity" -- but they don't offer alternatives, perhaps because if they tried it would expose their near total ignorance.
I stand corrected : TWO staff sergeants (the other is cited very briefly, with a neutral quote). That's still three fewer staff sergeants than retired whatisits that appeared in the other piece.
I'll say it again: What drives me bananas about the jaysonists is that they criticize -- usually in the oblique, weasel-worded manner of "objectivity" -- but they don't offer alternatives, perhaps because if they tried it would expose their near total ignorance.
I stand corrected : TWO staff sergeants (the other is cited very briefly, with a neutral quote). That's still three fewer staff sergeants than retired whatisits that appeared in the other piece.
Monday, June 30, 2003
And speaking of the Beeb, Andy S. is excited something might happen to it. But as the Telegraph article he cites points out, it was TONY who appointed the DYKE, who is a flaming Labourite. He thus bears as much blame for the Beeb's descent into partisanship as his hacks. And he cannot be excused for it because he did it before he grew up. No, he should have had the minimum common sense to realize biased news can hurt anyone, left or right -- though more often right.
Fogbound (probably the source of the "one source" here) wants "a Marshall Plan for the Palestinians." This means we give them billions and lots of military hardware, and neither we nor the Israelis get anything in return. Guess what happens next.
Is listening to the Beeb hazardous to your health?
Is listening to the Beeb hazardous to your health?
RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s NEW YORK POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! runs a Cindy Adams column on consecutive weeks, and no one at the POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! notices.
Sorta like, uh, Jayson. Right?
Sorta like, uh, Jayson. Right?
Before we get excited that 10,000 NEW WORDS appear in Merriam-Webster's latest Collegiate Dictionary, consider how many words are listed as Obs. in the OED.
NEWS HACKS IS THE CLEVEREST PEOPLE: A reporter uses THE Q WORD at a briefing with Rummy, and though he cuts her off, the whole point was to get her fellow news hacks to use the Q word. Sure enough, REUTERS, The Freedom Fighters' News Service™, uses it in a headline. And the idiots aren't political?
Gov has done such a good job with his terror alerts, they're moving him up the list of succession!
As usual, there was no debate. Like with the Disney Protection Act.
As usual, there was no debate. Like with the Disney Protection Act.
Hey Kinsleyites, either Dubya was lying about WMDs, or he wasn't. Which is it?
HHWWalter Crrrronkite Jr. is ticked that Disney Sports has hired an -- ex-cheerleader to be a sideline reporter on Monday Night Football. Al and John should "resign in protest," declaimeth HHWWalter Jr.
You still mad at ESPN, Keith? Or are you trying to live the definition of "Get a life?"
You still mad at ESPN, Keith? Or are you trying to live the definition of "Get a life?"
Does YOUR GoogleBlogger still have the hiccups?
Blixie says bye-bye to the League of Nations and weapons inspecting.
Thanks again, Hans, for -- what?
Thanks again, Hans, for -- what?
On the heels of the magnificent success stories of two of JACK's superbudgeted superhyped superdumb pieces of cinematic dog t -- er, wondrous masterpieces of filmic art, now comes word from RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s PR man Roger that AH-nult may lay an egg for AOL!
Better run for gov'nor, AH-nult.
Better run for gov'nor, AH-nult.
Another news hack icon -- DESTROYED: St. John-John wasn't so saintly. Neither was his wife.
Sunday, June 29, 2003
Katherine Hepburn was a controversial figure early on in her career with her "tomboy" looks, but she was perhaps the first significant unconventional beauty of film, with a talent and a larger-than-life persona to match. If some of her vehicles are dated now -- her pairings with the equally great Spencer Tracy have a little more of the cutes than might be desirable, and The Philadelphia Story is a glorified and embarrassing sitcom -- there was no mistaking her magnetism. Now, with her passing, only the recently eulogized -- I mean, congratulated Bob Hope remains of all the great and gloried and celebrated of their time, and as the last of what was good about show-biz disappears, it becomes completely paved over by the monumentally overwhelmingly mind-numbingly inescapably synergistically symbiotically cross-promotionally merger-and-acquisitionally bad.
(I see the news hacks are doing their doubleplusgood routine by calling her a feminist. Is there any escaping their knee-jerk lockstep sieg heil?)
(I see the news hacks are doing their doubleplusgood routine by calling her a feminist. Is there any escaping their knee-jerk lockstep sieg heil?)
Exhibit number TWO in the case for why show-biz news coverage is irrelevant when it isn't sycophantic, and sycophantic when it isn't unethical, and unethical when it isn't a resume -- and many times, a four-bagger. (Bonus half-point to John "Can't Stop Blowin' My" Horn for referring to movies as "brands." Maybe we ought to put YOU in the running for JACK's chair!)
So the proper thing, dear exalted news hacks, is for the Israelis to lie down and die. Right?
This is another thing that drives me bananas about the jaysonists: they criticize -- usually in the oblique, weasel-worded manner of "objectivity" -- but they don't offer alternatives, perhaps because if they tried it would expose their near total ignorance. PUT UP, I SAY, OR SHUT UP.
This is another thing that drives me bananas about the jaysonists: they criticize -- usually in the oblique, weasel-worded manner of "objectivity" -- but they don't offer alternatives, perhaps because if they tried it would expose their near total ignorance. PUT UP, I SAY, OR SHUT UP.
CORRECTION: You can click your blog open in a new window, and without right-clicking; but to do that you have to position your cursor over the eenie-weenie little icon in the View Blog tab. Convenient!
Here's an exciting sport: Szzzzzzzzzzzenior, er, CHAMPIONSzzzzzzzzzzzzz Tour™ Golf.
ANOTHER JACK MILESTONE: IF the box-office ESTIMATES are to be believed -- a BIG if -- one of JACK's superbudgeted superhyped superdumb pieces of cinematic dog t -- er, one of his wondrous masterpieces of the filmic art -- the one last week -- suffered A SEVENTY PERCENT DECLINE IN ITS BOX OFFICE IN ITS SECOND WEEK! A TREMENDOUS achievement for Jack and the film biz!!
Or as Arthur Freed would say, "That's Entertainment!"
Or as Arthur Freed would say, "That's Entertainment!"
Exhibit number one in the case for why show-biz news coverage is irrelevant when it isn't sycophantic, and sycophantic when it isn't unethical, and unethical when it isn't a resume -- and many times, a four-bagger.
Also in the Times Bernard Holland, in a eulogy for the symphony orchestra, writes what is (with slight adjustments) a eulogy for our culture as well:
As for disappearing audiences, no amount of managing will solve that one. Classical music has only itself to blame. It has indulged the creation of a narcissistic avant-garde speaking in languages that repel the average committed listener in even our most sophisticated American cities. Intelligent, music-loving and eager to learn, such listeners largely understand that true talent and originality must find their own voice. What they do not understand is why the commitment to reach and touch listeners in the seats does not stand at the beginning of the creative process, as it did with Haydn and Mozart. This kind of art-for-art's-sake has much to answer for.
As for disappearing audiences, no amount of managing will solve that one. Classical music has only itself to blame. It has indulged the creation of a narcissistic avant-garde speaking in languages that repel the average committed listener in even our most sophisticated American cities. Intelligent, music-loving and eager to learn, such listeners largely understand that true talent and originality must find their own voice. What they do not understand is why the commitment to reach and touch listeners in the seats does not stand at the beginning of the creative process, as it did with Haydn and Mozart. This kind of art-for-art's-sake has much to answer for.
The other day I mentioned the fantasy of Harvey "Arthur Freed" Whiner. WELL, the Film Forum in New York is staging (wouldn't you know it?) an Arthur Freed festival, and that accounts for our Line of the Week -- from a movie-ad-blurb copywriter -- for The Nation!!!!! (which has Peter "Movies-Were-Better-than-Ever-in-the-Seventies" Biskind as an occasional "editor," so you know how PC that is):
Cyd Charisse['s]...legs are deadlier than all the firearms in Chicago.
Nuf said.
Cyd Charisse['s]...legs are deadlier than all the firearms in Chicago.
Nuf said.
There's always a "but" with the news business, and it's always a sales pitch. This time it's a LALA Times tribute to Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In, which as I pointed out without the benefit of somebody named Susan King, elected Nixon president -- and it's there in the LALA Times because AOL's selling a DVD set. What's good for AOL....
150,000 attend Houston Pride Parade
The more news hacks use statistics, the more they get people mad -- and the more politically charged a story the more suspect the numbers. These same people said that hundreds of thousands, millions, protested war in Iraq; they've given counts on Iraqi war dead that have ranged from thousands to gazillions; they gave us numbers of dead in the Riyadh bombing from 10 to 91; they give us movie box-office estimates that are sometimes off by several millions; they said untold zillions would die from SARS; they've told us anywhere from 750 to 3000 troops would be deployed to fight terrorism in the Philippines; they've said 3,000 or 18,000 are active in al Qaeda; they're addicted to global warming stories because they let them famously screw around with numbers -- AND, the biz employs Paul Krugman. News hacks already tell lies and damn lies; the statistics are but the icing on the cake.
The more news hacks use statistics, the more they get people mad -- and the more politically charged a story the more suspect the numbers. These same people said that hundreds of thousands, millions, protested war in Iraq; they've given counts on Iraqi war dead that have ranged from thousands to gazillions; they gave us numbers of dead in the Riyadh bombing from 10 to 91; they give us movie box-office estimates that are sometimes off by several millions; they said untold zillions would die from SARS; they've told us anywhere from 750 to 3000 troops would be deployed to fight terrorism in the Philippines; they've said 3,000 or 18,000 are active in al Qaeda; they're addicted to global warming stories because they let them famously screw around with numbers -- AND, the biz employs Paul Krugman. News hacks already tell lies and damn lies; the statistics are but the icing on the cake.
The League of Nations fights -- corruption pffh hh hh hh hh hh!!!!!