Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Posted
10:21 PM
by Gene
As for Jack Benny's eulogy at the dedication of Jolson's memorial: it should have struck us it was probably ghostwritten, but we'd like to think it wasn't, and our comments on the old Hollywood still stand.
Posted
10:03 PM
by Gene
![]() Industrial-strength food at the University Restaurant and Canteen in Coimbra, Portugal! No wonder it's one of the "PIIGS". SORRY! ![]() Hey kids! Wanna live in a box?
Posted
11:55 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:33 AM
by Gene
D.C. Attorney General Irvin B. Nathan filed a false-claims complaint Tuesday against the nonprofit group Miracle Hands and its director, reformed gangster Cornell Jones, charging them with misappropriating more than $300,000 from the city’s HIV/AIDS program for renovations on a proposed job training center that instead was used to open a strip club. Come to think of it, this could happen in Philthydelphia too, but it's more likely to happen in Washington.
Posted
9:27 AM
by Gene
Look Tammy, if you want to defend a booster for lavishing whores on players, fine. And we do agree there's been a lot of self-righteousness here; it goes with the corrupt system. But you prove "free-enterprise" types can be just as dense as screaming Congressmen -- and even more contemptible.
Posted
8:26 AM
by Gene
IPads Soon to Be Pricier Than Large-Screen Televisions: Chart of the Day
Posted
8:23 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:20 AM
by Gene
Industry estimates put the cost of the storm at $7 billion to $10 billion.... Are news hacks trying to justify their wall-to-wall screaming again?
Posted
8:09 AM
by Gene
Sandpoint is emptying, like my account. Time to replenish it with 500 more irritating voiceovers.
Posted
8:05 AM
by Gene
This is a liberal policy group. This gives con-SER-va-tives an excuse to scream about all those greedy union workers making $40,000 a year. This gives liberals an excuse to call con-SER-va-tives NAZIS. This gives con-SER-va-tives an excuse to call liberals COMSYMPS. Which soon means -- A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR HOUSES IN ALL YOUR HOUSES!!!!!
Posted
8:02 AM
by Gene
S&P Rates Subprime Mortgages Higher Than U.S. Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Posted
7:23 PM
by Gene
![]() ARCHDaily! All that...thing needs is WOOD -- then it could be a Pinocchio museum. And does that...thing have ZITS? ![]() A minimalized minimalist Taj Mahal. Hey kids! Wanna live in a mausoleum? ![]() DOWN PERISCOPE! ![]() Now if you spin it like a top.... ![]() What's that badly constructed prime minister doing here? We hope the ARCH doesn't mind our cutting and pasting this in full, complete with unwanted font: A minor transatlantic controversy erupted last month after UK “architecture minister” aka Parliamentary Under Secretary of State at the Department for Culture, Media and Sport with responsibility for architecture and the built environment John Penrose apparently compared architects with other negatively-stereotyped groups, noting architects are “just one of those groups people love to mock.” The comments were part of a longer blog post about Rowan Atkinson, Dreamland, and VisitEngland’s new Smartphone-based marketing campaign. The story was first reported by bdonline.co.uk’s Mark Wilding on July 18. Wilding calls Penrose’s comments “shocking,” adding that “architects may not be pleased to hear that they are lumped in with ‘slippery estate agents, over-paid footballers and disingenuous politicians,’ as the minister attempts to tackle the public’s attitude towards the profession.” The story was re-reported by the Architectural Record News Wire on July 22, under the headline “Profession is a Joke to Public, Says UK Architecture Minister.” The story notes how Penrose believes that “people love to mock architects” and reiterates his comparison of architects “slippery real-estate agents” et al. Penrose’s comments are far less damning than Wilding’s tabloid-esque reportage would lead us to believe. From the July 15 DCMS blog entry, “Dustbins, bicycles, roller coasters and a plug for QR (which is QI):”
Penrose’s comments are certainly inappropriate, but Wilding’s sanctimonious commentary is far more embarrassing for the field. Wilding’s hypersensitivity reveals a deep cynicism about our field’s possible decline with respect to its place in the world; a perpetual cycle wherein we continue to shun any reference to our lack of relevance in the hope that the problem will go away, without realizing that in fighting that fight we’ve already conceded. Wilding’s article: http://www.bdonline.co.uk/news/penrose-people-love-to-mock-architects/5021761.article Architectural Record Newswire: http://archrecord.construction.com/yb/ar/article.aspx?story_id=161653800
Posted
7:10 PM
by Gene
![]() Is this not a definition of VAPID? Is this not a definition of PEOPLE WARNER? "WE JUST HIKED THE RATE BASE 200,000!!!!!" Mr. Bew-KES would scream. Hey buddy, where's your PEPÉ LE PEW AND MARVIN THE MARTIAN MOVEES? They look like co-stars!
Posted
5:34 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:09 PM
by Gene
In human years. In GOD years They haven't started.
Posted
3:54 PM
by Gene
![]() Study: Birds Change Their Tune When Nose Pollution Intrudes [SIC!] AHTSJournal ha cha cha!
Posted
9:15 AM
by Gene
Wait! Aren't all those NAZIS!!!!! like that?
Posted
9:09 AM
by Gene
Half a dozen of the other: GEN. LEAK TWOFACE. SHUT UP, ALL ONE OF YOU!
Posted
8:58 AM
by Gene
NO PROBLEM! Pfffffffffffffft! (Via The Daily Kaplan via Daily Intel) Monday, August 29, 2011
Posted
10:57 PM
by Gene
Before I finish, I’d like you to know that this isn’t the only shrine to Al Jolson. Eight thousand miles from here, nestled in the hills of Korea, is an outdoor amphitheater where our troops are entertained. This amphitheater is within a few miles of the disputed Thirty-eighth Parallel . . . and it is called the Al Jolson Bowl. To those boys eight thousand miles away who gather there every day, the memory of Al Jolson, as with us, will never die. We now know how far Hollywood came, how far it has since come, and why it can never come back. Cue the music again, Elmer.
Posted
9:22 PM
by Gene
![]() What is this spooky, disconcerting, unattractive building? It's the NEW! St. Jack of Valenti School of Communication at the University of Houston! (Actually, we learn this combines two buildings; the one devoted to the inventor of BOTULISM-TAINTED ALPHABET SOUP is on the right.) By the way, some hack's expression of grief over His tragic loss made it into a tribute video! Meaning... ![]() ANOTHER NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO PAUL! And Blathering Bradlee too!
Posted
9:06 PM
by Gene
Will the "new" Libya really be a sweet breath of Arab springtime air -- or just more of the same foul stench of corruption?
Posted
9:00 PM
by Gene
Posted
8:49 PM
by Gene
In the latest sign that Apple’s next iPhone will be just an incremental improvement, Taiwan’s DigiTimes reported Monday the next iPhone will feature a 3.5 to 3.7 inch touch panel, rather than the 4.2-inch screen that had long been rumored. “The sources pointed out that the upcoming iPhone will not have many differences compared to iPhone 4 in terms of components and the panel will still be less than 4-inch,” the trade paper reported. The mystery deepens when you add up all the other faddish — and expensive — features the next iPhone may not have. Quad-core processors will be coming to mobile devices this year. Not Apple’s iPhone, which will probably get the iPad’s dual core chip. Sprint and Verizon are both pushing phones that can use high-speed 4G wireless data connections. Apple may refrain: many analysts think the more efficient 4G wireless chips Apple wants won’t be ready in time for the next iPhone. So what will make the next iPhone different? Not software, Apple has already said the new iteration of its iOS software — and Apple’s new cloud services — will work fine on today’s iPhone’s and iPads. Here’s a possibility: Apple’s next iPhone will work on any wireless carrier — or none at all. The rot sets in! Pfffffffffffft!
Posted
8:41 PM
by Gene
Posted
8:23 PM
by Gene
We chatted with Rep. Anna Eshoo Monday on the day that the Silicon Valley Democrat officially announced her re-election campaign. But like many Democrats, during the recess she's been getting an earful of frustration from her constituents back home -- about Congress and about President Obama. Yes, even from Dems in one of the bluest parts of the country. "I would characterize it in the following way," Eshoo told me and Comrade Marinucci Monday: "They are very much looking for the person who ran. "He was transformational in terms of his vision. He was transformational in terms of his hope. He lifted people up. One of the great gifts of great leaders is that they do lift people up. These are very, very tough times for our country. "There is an element, an ingredient in leadership, that is about speaking not only to the mind, but to the hearts of people. He did that in his campaign. Now he's speaking to the mind, but not necessarily to the heart," Eshoo said. "He's highly cerebral. There were many journalists and editorial writers who said he has a 'presidential temperment,'" Eshoo said. "That was applauded when he was running. And now some people are saying that because he's 'No drama Obama,'that he's too cool. "I think in politics it's very important to mix your passion with your convictions. That's not partisan. It comes from a deep place. People are hungry for that and I think it is an essential ingredient for leadership." Audio-Animatronics. P. S. on 9/2/2011 at 8:05 p. m. I hadn't noticed that egregious canned laughter, meaning (along with annoying ESPNCORP NETWORK bug) this probably first aired on America's "Funniest" Home Videos -- presumably after ESPNCORP NETWORK management safely determined twenty people had been fired over the incident.
Posted
7:16 PM
by Gene
Sociologists, the intellectual versions of astrologists, had to hold their annual convention in VEGAS because they didn't want to CROSS PICKET LINES in Chicago, and so in addition to the abundant cheap local delicacies they feasted on ample SOLE: Sara Goldrick-Rab, associate professor of educational policy studies and sociology at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, emphatically agreed. “I found it hard to believe we sociologists would come to a place that clearly thrives on the exploitation of people’s financial and emotional insecurities,” she wrote in an e-mail. “The grotesque treatment of young women was visible and jarring.” But some of those in attendance weren’t complaining. “Who are you kidding?” said one young faculty member from a university outside the U.S., of those who said they were not enjoying the Vegas experience. “Go out, have fun, check out all the eye candy.” Perhaps not incidentally, this faculty member was male – as was the graduate student from a highly respected private institution who suggested that any dislike of or discomfort with Las Vegas was limited to the conference’s female attendees. Also male: the grad student from a California public who smilingly boasted of having slipped a small bribe to the man at the check-in desk in exchange for a room with a good view of the pools (and the bikini-clad women therein) – which view, he said, he found rather distracting as he sat in his room preparing his presentation. Oh, and should we mention the letters P and C? (And there was a little of the sociologists in Vegas, too -- at least at Caesars Palace. The hotel, like most of the Strip, seems more than comfortable with traditional gender roles, even charging men more than women for the use of its pools. But the ASA made its own adjustment, posting a large sign on a pair of restrooms in the conference area that declared them both to be unisex -- a move intended to provide support for transgender sociologists.) Unfortunately some noozpaper blogger or something proved he liked the taste too, as witness this delectable leather morsel: “People think they’re having fun here. But in fact they’re wandering through a maze of really inauthentic, fake landscapes.” First of all, you’re probably wandering into a dangerous maze yourself by telling people that when they think they’re having fun they’re not actually having fun. [*] Second, authentic, the dictionary says, means “not false or copied; genuine; real.” That’s the beauty of the Strip — there’s no place like it, so how can it be anything but authentic. It’s also totally honest about what it is, unlike the rest of the country.... As for dressing up and showing themselves to other people — uh, what? How does this make us different? A separate critique was equally ignorant — that Las Vegas isn’t sustainable. It’s easy to see the fountains on the Strip and feel the dry heat of the Mojave and presume we’re not sustainable. But as Robert Lang, director of Brookings-Mountain West, noted, we’re closer to our water source than any other city that relies on the Colorado River. [Links definitely added] Closer indeed! As this bozo proves, when Mike Royko and Mike Kelly died, they took the nooz biz with them. *Caveat: sociologists.
Posted
6:27 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:56 PM
by Gene
The Republicans want to "revive" the economy by throwing money at their friends. A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR HOUSES IN ALL YOUR HOUSES!
Posted
5:51 PM
by Gene
Greek Stocks Soar Most in More Than 20 Years There's probably a Greek joke here someplace, which would be the moral equivalent of a Polish joke.
Posted
5:46 PM
by Gene
And speaking of DENSE: “Until we know for sure, we’ve asked the industry to have a moratorium on production,” said Diane Duke, executive director of the Free Speech Coalition, a Canoga Park-based porn industry trade group. [Emphasis added] Right, Diane -- your free speech is someone else's FATAL ILLNESS.
Posted
5:37 PM
by Gene
Who'da thought? Sturdy Products.... Sure UB, sure. (Via I Want Media)
Posted
5:29 PM
by Gene
Which reminds us -- is Frank 'n' Igor's creature starting to resemble something from a fifties pinup? And we do NOT mean that flatteringly.
Posted
5:22 PM
by Gene
You know, one of the more peculiar aspects of television as it has evolved over the past decade is that just as it has become increasingly sophisticated it has simultaneously become increasingly vulgar and banal. So -- does that excuse the ge-NIUS? Or is the increasingly vulgar and banal so vulgar and banal as to more than wipe it out? Let us not forget the TWXSTERS' naked history lessons. Are they vulgar or banal or are they ge-NIUS because they're CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED?
Posted
3:29 PM
by Gene
P. S. at 5:15 p. m. Then again, only FIVE MORE GEKKO KUDLOW FANTASY DAYS and you're talking $200 BILLION!
Posted
3:26 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:10 PM
by Gene
It might help though if someone besides me read my blog. Sunday, August 28, 2011
Posted
9:02 PM
by Gene
In light of the MEDIA MIRACLE OF THE UNIVERSE being headquartered here, and because the alleged burglars "worked" for PEOPLE WARNER CABLE, NO COMMENT.
Posted
4:56 AM
by Gene
Posted
4:53 AM
by Gene
Staten Island Hotel reports that their basement is flooding. #Irene #nywx Horrors! Saturday, August 27, 2011
Posted
10:07 PM
by Gene
Though it doesn’t specifically survey for it, U.S. News also offers a kind of left-handed index of student satisfaction. Colleges report how many of their graduates contribute in a typical year. As we read “Best Colleges,” we were struck by how many grads don’t send their alma mater even a symbolic check. At Harvard, 63 percent give nothing at all. At Vanderbilt, 74 percent demur, as do 87 percent at UCLA. The non- donors are probably pleased to have degrees, but could quite a few have less than fond memories of their campus years? Or perhaps they feel that they already “gave” when they paid sky-high tuition bills? IDIOT MORT ZUCK HARVARD LL.M '62! (Revised with added CV! on 8/29/2011)
Posted
6:56 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:25 PM
by Gene
And I felt a sense of happiness, knowing venting my spleen on ROCK mu-SICK cri-TICS was thoroughly justified. I haven't seen their likes on GRATE.COM lately. I hope I never have to again. The firing of Jack Shafer makes that unlikely. ![]() And now, for a tinge of nostalgia and excellence to settle the stomach here again is someone other than WOMAN WITH THE BOOBS, singing something not concocted by Dr. Frankenstein and Igor. Friday, August 26, 2011
Posted
9:27 PM
by Gene
"The only time I've seen it like this is (before) blizzards," said Katie Vent, office manager at the B & G Gulf in Holmdel. Where are you folks going -- MONTANA? And Jersey's caught between the NOO YAWK and PHILLY profit centers -- the electronic equivalent of a rock and a hard place.
Posted
9:22 PM
by Gene
"All indications point to this being a historic hurricane," Obama said. No, NO -- we will AVOID an embarrassing comment AT ALL COSTS.
Posted
8:41 PM
by Gene
![]() And the big story tonight on ACTION NEWS is... THE END OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!! JIM GARDNER is 63 (he looks 83 in HD -- must DO something about your PROFIT CENTER, UB IGER!) and he makes $100 million a year scaring people. In this age when news hacks should be trusted at best on a very greasy sliding scale, and the richer they are the less they should be trusted, too many people still believe this panicmaster. EVIDENCE: At the Dark Shadows and a couple of CVS's today everyone was buying BOTTLED WATER. I work for our city's Water Department. The likelihood of our water supply totally collapsing is infinitessimal. But Jim or some other ESPNCORP parasite must have mentioned in repeatedly on the three-hour news block (soon to become four since The Lord Goddess Oprah left), and now every Tom, Dick and Harriet's buying bottled water. Not to mention food for two weeks. The mirth-provoking irony is that the weather's supposed to be SUNNY AND NICE on Monday. But what good is sunny and nice weather if our community's totally destroyed????? Well, I'm not a meteorologist (NEITHER IS JIM, despite his connections to a now forgotten St. Jim -- and neither was HE), but I'm looking over the weather maps, and while this will be a bad storm we may avoid the end of the world. The problem, of course, is NOO YAWK, which has dozens of $100 MILLION EARNING JIM GARDNERS who must be hiding in their bunkers. We will excuse HONORARY MAYOR MIKE for excessive caution but for all His supposed media savvy he's at the panicmasters' beck and call too. We don't wish to put bets on it but we suspect after the EARTHQUAKE!!!!! this may not be the cataclysm of the millenium. We certainly hope not. But when Jim Gardners rule the world all bets must be off. P. S. While MOVE HQ burned Jim played celebrity news. We will NEVER forgive him. P. P. S. We do worry about the electricity, but we have more faith in Exelon than in ESPNCORP -- but if there MUST be blackouts let one strike at CITY LINE AND MONUMENT. TV will be wall to wall... ![]() for two days.
Posted
2:19 PM
by Gene
Which Retailers Will Hurricane Irene Help, and Which Will It Hurt?
Posted
2:13 PM
by Gene
Correct me if I'm wrong, those who were there, but here's what I recorded as the sum total of her between-song banter: After "Up n' Down," a "bonus track" off her "Femme Fatale" album: "What's up, Charlotte?" (Crowd goes wild.) After "Big Fat Bass," also off "Femme Fatale": "What's up, Charlotte?" (Woo-hoo, fans yell in unison.) After her 2001 hit "I'm a Slave 4 U": "Are you guys ready for some more?" (More screaming.) After 2008's "Womanizer": "Thank you so much, Charlotte!" (You're welcome.) And after her current smash hit, "Till the World Ends": "Good night, everyone!" TRANSLATION: The public is plainly so way ahead of the hacks the hacks can write as they please. P. S. MNI at $1.55. It was $5.55 on January 18. It was $74.80 on March 18, 2005.
Posted
2:03 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:38 PM
by Gene
HARDING: STATESMAN OF GREATNESS The mourning vanished a year later. We thought of this because today the front page of The Nation's "News"paper inflicted itself upon us in two ways: First it said God created a POP-CULTURE REVOLUTION!!!!! Someone remind GanNETt, what's good for God is NOT good for GanNETt. We suppose God started this revolution because He invented the iPod, the GanNETtoids forgetting He invented a better version of the Walkman. In any case that led us to second -- a big hed saying, "ARE COLLEGE FOOTBALL RIVALRIES GETTING OUT OF HAND??????????" If so it's because college sports are another BIGMEDIA division, and a BIG profit center. Nevin couldn't have virtually run Miami if the skool hadn't decided winning at all costs would be good for its ratings. That distorts everyone's reason; thus fans become borderline psychopaths and poison trees. That people of multiple football loyalties can come together to save those trees is no thanks to BIGMEDIA and its profit center. Speaking of Harding, here's Menck in a previously unpublished diatribe: Certainly no man ever passed into the Eternal Vacuum to the tune of more astonishing rhetoric. The Associated Press dispatches, printed...during the ghastly progress of the funeral train, were not merely eloquent; they were downright maudlin. They gurgled; they snuffled; the moaned. Whoever wrote them is a supreme master of bilge. True in 1923; true today.
Posted
12:27 PM
by Gene
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Posted
10:31 PM
by Gene
We now suppose most of the deaths from this calamity occurred along the coast; if as now appears evident Japan's interior escaped with just collapsed false ceilings that's a tribute to modern engineering. [Spelling error corrected] So it was highly gratifying to read this: The ensuing partial meltdown of the Fukushima reactor prompted international hysteria about nuclear power, but few seemed to realize that a far deadlier threat had been averted. As seismologist Roger Bilham has aptly put it, houses in seismically active zones are the world’s unrecognized weapons of mass destruction—and Japan’s WMDs didn’t go off. Its buildings—at least those that weren’t swept away by the accompanying tsunami, a force of nature against which we are still largely helpless—remained standing, and the people inside survived. That so few buildings collapsed in the earthquake was a human triumph of the first order. Let us forget the fake panic of the other day and realize the human race has unending work to do to keep itself safe from natural disasters -- but even in the midst of an epochal catastrophe this was progress.
Posted
6:49 PM
by Gene
These clowns should get the harshest penalties possible -- and so should others who create vast addictions to prescription drugs.
Posted
6:46 PM
by Gene
Jon Stewart To Interview Nirvana's Dave Grohl, Krist Novoselic, Producer Butch Vig on SiriusXM
Posted
3:27 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:04 AM
by Gene
Is this another of those no-America-we-won't-have-a-depression investments?
Posted
9:24 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:55 AM
by Gene
But we still have BATTLESHIP!!!!! Isn't it great to be in the MOVEES, BRIAN ROBBER? “With the exception of 'Bridesmaids,' it's been rough and it seems like a lot of the movies they're making are huge bets and they're all over-$200 million bets. And that's a terrifying place to be," a producer who has worked with Universal in the past told TheWrap. Wait until people start seeing their monthly BILLS, bwahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Posted
8:37 PM
by Gene
Maybe because everybody was dialing 911 when nothing was happening?
Posted
8:30 PM
by Gene
Posted
8:19 PM
by Gene
One of the former team members who helped develop the Macintosh even once said “he would make an excellent king of France.” [First two grafs] And this from someone who's "sad" too! When will the hacks stop mistaking arrogance for leadership?
Posted
7:52 PM
by Gene
It comes three years after the chicken giant committed to stop advertising or actively promoting its kids menu. Oh oh, THIS is Ronnie McStarbucks's future, even if the future's a minor unit of Yum! Brands. (Via the Crainiacs)
Posted
7:37 PM
by Gene
Will Apple without Steve Jobs suffer like Microsoft without Bill Gates? One might argue it suffered long before that particular God left. No, so long as the Church of Cupertino has Its cult, and the news hacks who worship It by using Its products exclusively keep churning out tracts in Its honor, It won't; but remember all those other churches that have seen better days -- and that weren't publicly traded.
Posted
7:19 PM
by Gene
That a DISBARRED TRADER leads the mourning does not speak well of the MOURNED.
Posted
6:52 PM
by Gene
GOD RESIGNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
5:25 PM
by Gene
Any more holes in Uncle Ben's head and he won't have a head.
Posted
5:08 PM
by Gene
![]() Obviously the hacks want to extend the EARTHQUAKE!!!!!'s shelf life by harping on the Washington Monument and the National Cathedral. Look, they're both old buildings; the Monument was started in 1848, so part of it's at least that old; it wasn't finished until 117 years ago. As for the Cathedral, it was started in 1907, and we doubt that very many news hacks have ever visited it. AND NO ONE WAS KILLED OR INJURED IN OR AROUND EITHER EDIFICE. Deadly cataclysms have gotten far less coverage than this exasperating EARTHQUAKE!!!!!!!!!! because it happened near THE UNIVERSE'S MOST IMPORTANT CITY. SHUT UP, hacks! But this much is certain: Journalists are going to be doing an unusual amount of coverage of ecclesiastical architecture in the months ahead. It is time for reporters to learn the difference between a “pinnacle” and a “finial,” for example. Also, a cracked flying buttress is nothing to shake a stick at. Hey, they don't know the difference between the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, they BEING the trinity.
Posted
1:08 PM
by Gene
NOT A CON-SER-VA-TIVE!!!!!
Posted
10:24 AM
by Gene
Boeing Co., set to get government approval of its new 787 Dreamliner this week and deliver the first jet next month, expects to spend most of 2012 unwinding the record inventory built during three years of delays to the world’s first composite-plastic airliner. Boeing amassed $16.2 billion worth of inventory related to the 787 through June 30, with so many almost-finished jets the company ran out of room to park them. There are 35 scattered outside the Everett, Washington, plant, in leased space across an adjacent airfield and in a facility in Texas. Many lack seats and lavatories and have black plastic over the windows and concrete blocks hanging from the wings to keep them from tipping over before engines are installed.... The mothballed jets represent almost $6 a share in inventory growth since 2009. Counting four planes in the factory and six test jets, Boeing has more 787s on hand than Richard Branson’s Virgin Atlantic Airways has planes in service.
Posted
8:26 AM
by Gene
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Posted
6:36 PM
by Gene
In Washington the buildings are height-restricted.
Posted
6:18 PM
by Gene
Now their excuse is 9-11 and all that. That's their way of saying the world desperately needs them, something disproved completely by the last three years.
Posted
6:14 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:09 PM
by Gene
Now people would say, how can you blather such a thing? Aren't people entitled to panic at a moment like that? To which I say, there were no casualties and little property damage in THE UNIVERSE'S MOST IMPORTANT TOWN, and that was surely evident almost right away. What if this had been a real disaster? We don't dare to think.
Posted
6:04 PM
by Gene
And this sums it up in a nutshell: One Berlusconi is enough.
Posted
6:01 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:22 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:28 AM
by Gene
THIS IS WORSE THAN "ZEIGFIELD"!
Posted
9:00 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:52 AM
by Gene
Monday, August 22, 2011
Posted
9:46 PM
by Gene
Posted
7:19 PM
by Gene
![]() Speaking of Elvis, we are sorry to hear Jerry Leiber (on the left), half of Leiber and Stoller, has died. His songs might not have been such earth-shattering hits if The King hadn't sung them, but that was enough. They also wrote "Is That All There Is?", which occasioned Johnny Mercer to opine that they'd finally written an adult song. Well, for our tastes, bubblegum will do sometimes. And their bubblegum was very good. P. S. I think that's the Thalberg Administration Building in the back. How apt.
Posted
7:11 PM
by Gene
Sounds GUILTY to me!
Posted
6:16 PM
by Gene
![]() ...IN THE GHEEEEE-TTOOOOO....
Posted
6:03 PM
by Gene
*This article has been corrected to show that Up All Night airs on NBC, not ABC. [Genius emphasis added] ![]() For that asterisk alone A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO EMILY!
Posted
3:31 PM
by Gene
Breaking: Paul Ryan Won’t Run So which can't-put-a-sentence-together-with-more-than-four-words candidate will it be?
Posted
3:29 PM
by Gene
Now you can BLOVIATE all you want!
Posted
3:12 PM
by Gene
Hasn't Uncle Ben awed the rich enough? We apologize. An error has occurred. Please try again. When do you apologize, Uncle Ben?
Posted
10:16 AM
by Gene
“Today, everyone can be thankful that France grew in stature by committing itself with determination and success to win the battle for Libya’s freedom. We should give credit to those who inspired international action at the United Nations.” And GUESS WHO shrunk.
Posted
9:51 AM
by Gene
![]() “Warren Buffett hasn’t just seen the car of the future, he’s sitting in the driver’s seat!!!!!!!!!!” [TWXSTER-we'll-sell-anything overemphasis added] TapocketapocketapocketapocketapocketapocketapocketapocketaBSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!
Posted
8:34 AM
by Gene
If he knows who he is.
Posted
8:17 AM
by Gene
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Posted
9:08 PM
by Gene
I don't care what the SUPERNIKKI!!!!!s cheer, this is one trade war I'd rather we DIDN'T win.
Posted
8:54 PM
by Gene
When Beijing hosted the Olympic Games three years ago, the biggest star was arguably not swimmer Michael Phelps or sprinter Usain Bolt, but the National Stadium built for the games: more commonly known as the Bird's Nest. The stadium became an instant international icon, and one that has yet to be surpassed or even neared in terms of compelling, unique architecture. Last week on the ESPN-affiliated website Grantland, writer Peter Richmond viewed stadiums like the Bird's Nest in comparison to the recent stadiums built in New York and elsewehere in the United States, all of which engender a giant yawn. The billion-dollar replacement for legendary Yankee Stadium? A boring clone. The new Citi Field, home to the Mets? It's stuck in even more of a historicist time-warp, meant to evoke Brooklyn's old Ebbetts [SIC!] Field practically brick for brick. Why is there no Bird's Nest in the United States, and why hasn't there been a great stadium or arena built here in seemingly decades? Well maybe because we don't have half our national budget to waste on the GAMES, hmmmm? And how many huge events have played the Nest lately, hmmmm? It's a toss up, but this was linked in AHTSJournal.
Posted
8:22 PM
by Gene
1. Brian has forgotten the one thing that destroyed the Pan Am brand. Mentioning Pan Am so prominently must bring back that awful saga. Even without it the first thing sure to greet this show is wails from cri-TICS who'll accuse it of copying one of the greatest achievements in cultural history, meaning this show probably won't last long enough to turn nostalgia into a business, especially if it earns that other show's ratings, which might not work on network television. 2. We guess Walmart's recent sag owes less to people finding lower prices on the Web -- it's that, surely, too -- and more to the company finding fewer exurbs. Even without intolerant Democrats we wonder if Sam's idea fits in the big city anyway. Or to put it bluntly, an elephant can only eat so much. The company is too big to turn into the GM of shopping but look what happened to GM -- and Walmart doesn't have any unions. 3. By now everyone knows of the TouchPad fire sale. Here's another instance where advertising may have hurt. Yes HP may have had an inferior product but it did not help to have a man sneeringly and justly referred to as Mr. Katy Perry do the pitch, which along with the consequent sales must have been disastrous enough to make up HP's mind for it. What an irony that device has sold so well today, but like such glories as the MiniDisc it may soon be a technological wonder without a purpose. And how nice: the better the fire sale sells, the more likely we're stuck with STEVEDOM. 4. Are we ready to MAKE MONEY!!!!!? Saturday, August 20, 2011
Posted
12:24 PM
by Gene
Elsewhere said same intern with help has bloviated over the "market value" of certain female ac-TORS, and a commenter with even more time to burn assembled a list of A, B and C stars, and it does not speak kindly for the A's that they included a female version of Jerry Orbach, a woman with a highly masculine jaw, a supposed second coming of Audrey Hepburn who veers closer to Harry Langdon, and an MM impersonator. (Strangely enough Scarlett Who Can ACT was further down, and on several occasions her face has channeled Gene Rayburn's.) One commenter had to admit he hadn't heard of most of the names. This was perhaps because he hadn't heard of most of the faces. But an intern had to earn her experience, and like too many hacks engaged in a parlor game for one.
Posted
11:22 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:21 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:19 AM
by Gene
Friday, August 19, 2011
Posted
7:35 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:52 PM
by Gene
Let us never forget: He and the Michael Moore of high finance "used to be friends".
Posted
5:42 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:40 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:11 AM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: Maybe getting out of A COMMODITY BUSINESS isn't THAT smart of an idea.
Posted
8:49 AM
by Gene
Only in America!
Posted
8:41 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:39 AM
by Gene
Obama's Jobs Plan: Saving His Own
Posted
8:30 AM
by Gene
“If the NCAA kills the program, there will be a lot of people slitting their throats,” said rapper Luther Campbell, a huge Hurricanes fan, who was often seen on UM’s sideline during the 1980s and 1990s. “People would be on suicide watch, I can tell you that. That would very seriously hurt the city of Miami.” Even though it's in Coral Gables?
Posted
8:15 AM
by Gene
How about another stimulus there, Your Incompetence?
Posted
8:10 AM
by Gene
Now to spend the next twenty years with our feet on the railing, stogies in hand, employees to fire! Thursday, August 18, 2011
Posted
7:23 PM
by Gene
It's US you're driving nuts!
Posted
7:04 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:47 PM
by Gene
For the umpteen umpteenth time: A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR HOUSES!
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