Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Posted
6:15 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:50 PM
by Gene
The FCC has issued about $4 million in indecency fines since 1990.... That's TWO SUPER BOWL SPOTS. SUMNER can pay for indecency just by charging more.
Posted
5:40 PM
by Gene
MODERATION begins at HOME, Mr. KRISTOF -- and in the HEART.
Posted
5:24 PM
by Gene
I am sure we all feel VERY sorry. I'm waiting for Madame DeFarge's husband to grow older.
Posted
5:20 PM
by Gene
Rock star Eddie Van Halen caused a scene last week by taking alcohol into an exclusive restaurant and blessing two diners with mineral water. (Sorry for the spritz of CHEAP CHANNEL.)
Posted
5:17 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:18 PM
by Gene
Half-a-dozen of the other: THE GLIBERAL calls the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL HERR DOKTOR ASHCROFT a NAZI without having the guts to do it outright. Nope, looks like these two wrongs are just two wrongs.
Posted
10:43 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:35 AM
by Gene
And when STERNO says something from Little Howie Hairshirt is great I should know better than to read it.
Posted
9:48 AM
by Gene
Remember this the next time you hear of THE GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT IN FILM HISTORY, or the GENIUS of P. R. MIKE.
Posted
8:19 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:09 AM
by Gene
Come to think of it, that's what rappers do now.
Posted
6:51 AM
by Gene
Good idea. Dubya instinctively knows NEWS HACKS would beat him over the head with it, never mind they said what a good guy he was when he visited the site the FIRST time.
Posted
6:46 AM
by Gene
That's another way of saying a decent candidate who threw off his party's ideological baggage could clean DUBYA's clock.
Posted
6:18 AM
by Gene
And a special tip of the benny to ANDY S. for making it impossible to cut-and-paste from his site. And YOU encouraged your @#$%&* FISKERS to do some copyright infringement? P. S. BUT IF WE ADJUST FOR INFLATION...oh shut up. Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Posted
5:08 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:08 PM
by Gene
All in a day's -- uh, work.
Posted
4:58 PM
by Gene
Whatever descriptions of the candidates and their demeanors become the flavors of the moment with the campaign press, we urge you, the readers and the listeners -- resist. For those characterizations will bear little or no relationship to reality, and in the Kingdom of the Blind, the one-eyed man will be king. News hacks have eyes?
Posted
2:50 PM
by Gene
Mike, you don't need the streets.
Posted
1:18 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:40 AM
by Gene
Coming from a 93-year-old lady "who still does headstands every day and dines out every night," that is sage advice.
Posted
10:38 AM
by Gene
And thanks again, USAOKAY.com, for ALL THOSE POP-UPS and POP-UNDERS! Congress should pass a law against YOU.
Posted
9:54 AM
by Gene
So long as the answer is YES we have no REAL REPORTERS.
Posted
6:45 AM
by Gene
What's more, in the fatuous, obfuscatory, sideways and thoroughly cute manner that is THE PAPER OF RECORD's, A. O. with B. O. intimates that THE GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT IN FILM HISTORY isn't so great because it's great, it's because the SURROUNDING MASTERPIECES are so BAD. But of course the LAST place to find straightforward writing is in THE PAPER OF RECORD.
Posted
6:38 AM
by Gene
Uhhh realllly, bzumbzumbzum, they should have given you the HOOK a LONG TIME AGO, bzumbzumbzum. ROLL OVER BEETHOVEN!!!!!
Posted
6:31 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:28 AM
by Gene
Najee Ali, founder of Project Islamic Hope, was one of 11 community leaders Hahn selected Friday to review the investigations of the incident, in which an LAPD officer was videotaped kicking at the African American suspect and striking him 11 times with a flashlight. But Ali said he decided to step down after some city officials expressed doubts about whether he should serve because he is awaiting trial on charges of identity theft and leaving the scene of a car accident. Who is the greater ASS?
Posted
6:22 AM
by Gene
That should be good for another eighteen trillion quadrillion sextillion (whoops) hits for Andy. How shall we say it, ANDY S. can be TRYING -- but he wouldn't be a SUPERMEGABLOGGER otherwise. Monday, June 28, 2004
Posted
7:01 PM
by Gene
The sight of so many rubber chickens being waved by Giants fans delights Bill Littlejohn of South Lake Tahoe. He calls it "poultry in motion." I can forgive you Bill, because it made me laugh.
Posted
6:54 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:34 PM
by Gene
It's been extremely difficult to get a full transcript of the Michael Moore movie. So here's a thought: why doesn't some enterprising blogger take a tape recorder to a screening, transcribe the narrative, and post it? Then it's a fiskathon. [Emphasis added.] It's also copyright infringement, and knowing P. R. MIKE I don't think he'll allow it unless he agrees with you.
Posted
5:12 PM
by Gene
Figures. NewsMAX!!!!! doesn't report the news, it fantasizes it.
Posted
5:05 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:21 PM
by Gene
I am a long-time subscriber and I like to read all points of view, but today's front page really troubled me. It contained two news-analysis articles, each of which read like a rally for opponents of President Bush. The article on "health care vs. tax cuts" made it sound as if the only way I can spend more of my money on health care is if the government does it for me. The fact that people who have more discretionary income from tax cuts could choose to spend that income on health insurance or health care or something that is more important to them is left out. In that article, you quote Bruce Bartlett, who I know is completely disillusioned with President Bush for his *failure to cut spending* even more. He is disgusted with Bush for spending so much and thinks that Kerry would not be any worse. If you want to print a quote from Bartlett supporting your "analysis," then you ought to spell out where Bartlett is coming from, instead of making it sound like Bartlett is a Bush supporter on fiscal policy. Or find someone else to quote to balance the article. Then there is the "analysis" which claims that the Bush doctrine has been undermined by events in Iraq. If anything, the Bush foreign policy has been undermined by relentless attacks in the media, such as your front page (which consistently runs editorials that are more anti-Bush and anti-war than what appears on your editorial page). The article is very selective and unbalanced in its choice of "experts" to quote. Robert Kagan is written off as an "Administration supporter," while all of the critics of the Administration are not labeled as such. Instead, for critics one sees things like "nonpartisan Brussels-based group," which is a standard way for the liberal media to identify left-wingers (and having Googled the International Crisis Group, my sense is indeed that is what they are). I believe that the Post could do two things to remedy this. One is to simply drop the pretense of unbiased journalism, and simply say that the front page is used to promote the opinions of your reporters and editorial staff. Ultimately, I think that this is the most honest approach. If you wish to try to hang on to the myth of an unbiased front page, then I think you ought to hire a conservative to scrutinize the front page before it is printed. That way, some of the bias will be caught ahead of time, rather than leaving it up to the readers. Now imagine YOU'RE an ombudspoop, and you have to read dozens of letters like that, DAY after DAY after DAY. This is why the job is little more than a second repository for newspaper letter writers. It also explains why, especially with NEWS HACKS, the more things change.... Of course if PROF had his way such letters would be TEN TIMES as long. For ten times the effect, I guess. Ten times zero....
Posted
3:15 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:35 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:51 AM
by Gene
Annd yew wer thuh mooving fors behynd itt, STERNO.
Posted
8:29 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:13 AM
by Gene
And being a former TWXSTER you're VERY okay, although not as okay as you should be because STEVE 'N' GERRY...never mind. Your prose isn't so okay, and that's because you were okay at TIME INC. P. S. I wonder if PINCH had MICHIKO do her evisceration so the subsequent reviews would be BETTER.
Posted
6:42 AM
by Gene
Which is to say, I'm IMPRESSED.
Posted
6:29 AM
by Gene
EM, are you THAT hard up for filler for your site? P. S. Whatever tiny trust I had for the ad-blurb copywriters has vanished. They didn't like P. R. MEL because of the POLITICS, and they liked P. R. MIKE because of the POLITICS. The blurbists already majored in fawning and dishonesty; with these two tantrums they've earned their magna cum laude.
Posted
6:21 AM
by Gene
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Posted
11:46 AM
by Gene
Not all of the improvements were McDonald's doing. A rebounding economy helped. So did the falling fortunes at archfoe Burger King. The nation's No. 2 fast-food chain found itself facing similar struggles, but with a smaller infrastructure, store closings were more profound. Burger King has closed hundreds of stores, meaning many customers come to McDonald's by default. This is starting to look like plain old-fashioned luck. Let's wait until next year.
Posted
11:30 AM
by Gene
WORLD FAMOUS FINANCIER SIR JOHN TEMPLETON HAS DONATED $1 MILLION THROUGH HIS FOUNDATION TO A POLITICAL GROUP THAT WILL ENCOURAGE RELIGIOUS CONSERVATIVES TO VOTE THIS NOVEMBER!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep, it's THE MAX!!!!! again.
Posted
9:00 AM
by Gene
Oh and APOLITICAL LENNY, how does running a DIPPITY-DO FOR PRESIDENT AD on the page with the story enhance your aura of NON-PARTISANSHIP?
Posted
8:50 AM
by Gene
There are some CRACKS in the UNITED FRONT on the way to a NEW AMERICA.
Posted
8:35 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:31 AM
by Gene
I thought liberals were supposed to be of THUH PEE-PUL.
Posted
8:25 AM
by Gene
I don't know how he'll make Iraq better, but that can wait until after you elect him.
Posted
8:23 AM
by Gene
Saturday, June 26, 2004
Posted
7:13 PM
by Gene
God bless you, Doris Day.
Posted
6:49 PM
by Gene
![]() And SPEAKING of lgf, it seems odd this is "now playing" on his site, given that he's a pop-music guy (and as most bloggers seem to share the same affliction as music execs), and given that these two were COMMIES. Well, as Terry Teachout might say, they were both fools -- and great musicians. We'll leave it at that for now.
Posted
6:12 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:40 PM
by Gene
Gates also has a stable of writers and communications specialists who help produce material. It's unclear whether they would help keep his blog going. In short, it would probably be just another corporate outlet. It would also raise the question of who REALLY writes OUR MOST POPULAR BLOGS. This PR stunt won't fly.
Posted
4:57 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:45 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:44 PM
by Gene
WHEN YOUR CANDIDATE HAS THE MONEY!!!!!
Posted
2:15 PM
by Gene
Record Low Turnout in Presidential Race [tomorrow's headline]
Posted
2:08 PM
by Gene
Hey ALLAH!! I need 72 more of them ugly virgins!
Posted
1:34 PM
by Gene
Sure you didn't mean chickens?
Posted
1:21 PM
by Gene
I guess you were right, George "MY BUSINESS IS MY BUSINESS" Will; Bud IS Einstein.
Posted
1:10 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:00 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:45 PM
by Gene
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!! The Palestinian Authority is sending a swimmer and a runner to the Olympic games. And no one in the SHOOTING competitions? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
11:19 AM
by Gene
And when it grows big enough it too can "outsource" jobs. That's usually what happens.
Posted
7:00 AM
by Gene
Test your knowledge of the "Lou Dobbs Tonight" show Let's see: Lou is fat; he speaks in a baritone (though he probably can't sing); he makes a lot of money; he works at the center of the universe; he's a Republican; he cozies up to CEOs; he's had lots of conflicts of interest; he has a temper; and he thinks we export too many jobs. There! That's my knowledge! What else do I have to know? Friday, June 25, 2004
Posted
5:31 PM
by Gene
Just THE SOURCE says we'll never hear of this again.
Posted
5:21 PM
by Gene
The horn, one of hundreds of parts of prehistoric creatures being sold Thursday, could be as old as “100 million thousand billion centuries!” Eamon said after he made the winning bid. I don't know -- with that kind of talk the six-year-old's on his way to being a SUPERBLOGGER.
Posted
5:18 PM
by Gene
Come to think of it, it already is.
Posted
5:08 PM
by Gene
I'm sure we'd like this ALL OVER IRAQ, huh P. R. MIKE? TERRY? AL? MSSSSSSSSSS. PELOSI?
Posted
5:08 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:59 PM
by Gene
Clinton? Hey Larry! You sure them purdy words ain't gonna prevent thayousands of them autographed doorstops from landin' in yeour bookstore eiyn TEX-ASS?
Posted
4:54 PM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: They're doing in public what for decades they've done in PRIVATE.
Posted
3:42 PM
by Gene
A new series of whimsical public service announcements from the Environmental Protection Agency are lampooning the notion that cars can be made more energy efficient while the ads encourage conservation at home. ...half-a-dozen of the other.... Indeed, as the E.P.A. says, energy use at home can cause twice the emissions of a single car. But most families have more than one car and emit roughly the same amount of global warming gases in their vehicles as in their homes, said David Friedman, senior policy analyst at the [DO NOT FILL IN THE BLANK WITH A ONE-WORD ADJECTIVE DESCRIBING THE ORGANIZATION'S POLITICS!!!!!] Union of Concerned Scientists, an environmental research and advocacy group. OR: The Union of Concerned Scientists, a liberal advocacy group based in Cambridge, Mass.... THIS FROM A LIBERAL POLITICAL ACTION GROUP.
Posted
10:40 AM
by Gene
Wait wait WAIT A SECOND -- Iraq had NOTHING to do with OSAMA!!!!! THE PAPER OF RECORD'S PRINTING THIS?!?!? There MUST be an ulterior motive.
Posted
6:55 AM
by Gene
And we can safely ignore any article that quotes THE PERFESSER OF BAD TV.
Posted
6:28 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:26 AM
by Gene
I think some of his colleagues are proving him wrong. Thursday, June 24, 2004
Posted
5:27 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:21 PM
by Gene
Why does every movie trailer end with a conk on the head? Because every MOVIE is a conk on the head.
Posted
5:16 PM
by Gene
And OF COURSE guess who greeted me when I clicked on to this story in one of USAOKAY.com's full-screen annoyances? SPIDEY!!!!! I'd like to spin an IMPERVIOUS WEB around GanNETt's every last HONOR BOX. OR: "THERE IS NO CIRCULATION SCANDAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Posted
5:13 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:09 PM
by Gene
That says either 1. NEWS HACKS have already said "Mission Accomplished" or 2. Home-grown QUAGMIRE doesn't count.
Posted
5:08 PM
by Gene
Will wonders never cease?
Posted
5:00 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:58 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:54 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:24 AM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: You're mad because you're getting A DOSE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE.
Posted
8:27 AM
by Gene
This is easy. With the hostages, their crime was being an infidel, their witnesses were Muslims, and God was their judge. Others point out that the Koran refers to such a punishment for infidels and that Muhammad oversaw the beheading of several hundred men in his lifetime. Easier.
Posted
8:23 AM
by Gene
Oh NOOOOOOOO, the press ISN'T biased.
Posted
8:20 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:17 AM
by Gene
• Busing leaves 30-year sting • UMass invests in diversity Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Posted
5:18 PM
by Gene
Let me be blunt, too -- nobody believes NEWS HACKS who write such apologies because you make too much money and have too much power -- and TRIB is a GREAT PLACE TO WORK if you know how to COMPROMISE.
Posted
5:13 PM
by Gene
God forbid they make a decision -- other than to raise tuition and field corrupt sports teams.
Posted
5:08 PM
by Gene
If you're into S&M -- senile and mental. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Sorry for the NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Posted
5:03 PM
by Gene
I'm glad I quit!
Posted
4:59 PM
by Gene
OMERTA omits the "VICTIM'S" race. Cle-VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Posted
4:54 PM
by Gene
Wait a second, Princie -- since they're terrorists (pardon -- MILITANTS) don't they get their 72 virgins by default?
Posted
4:50 PM
by Gene
AND THEY'RE ALL IN THE MUSIC BIZ.
Posted
11:39 AM
by Gene
As opposed to the permanent one?
Posted
11:19 AM
by Gene
"Shaun . . . Your behavior to me over the past few years has been a sickening joke. From the day you called [former NBC Enterprises president] Ed Wilson and said I was creating a hostile situation . . . to last week when you went postal on my friend and accused me of an affair . . . and talked to me like a five-year-old gang member. "I have never known anybody so disliked in a newsroom and it's well deserved. You push people to the limits and you are so needy and demanding . . . it is scary. "This is tough love, Shaun. You have the worst reputation I've ever seen in the business . . . and your constant attempt to get me fired was such a joke to everybody it was hard to contain the laughter. "But now I am gone . . . and you made my departure so easy . . . I've never worked with anybody so conflicted and sad and insecure and so needy. They all know it . . . and it must be sad for you to realize that you are literally hated by most . . . Don't you EVER EVER make things up about me. Don't you EVER EVER tell your friends I'm a bad employee . . . "People laugh at you. But they are afraid of your always taking the race card . . . You'll always be a little person that people feel sorry for . . . You cannot believe how much you are disliked. Try and repair it . . . or you'll be back in local news before you know it . . . with no wardrobe people to yell at every day. 'Did [co-host] Nancy [O'Dell] get that, I WANT THAT.' Pathetic. BuhBye . . . And have a great, miserable life. Pat." You too, GOV. (Well, he DID apologize.)
Posted
11:07 AM
by Gene
STATEMENT FROM NAB PRESIDENT AND CEO EDWARD O. FRITTS IN RESPONSE TO BROADCAST INDECENCY, TV VIOLENCE, AND MEDIA OWNERSHIP AMENDMENT PASSED BY THE SENATE "NAB does not support the amendment passed today by the Senate. We continue to believe that voluntary industry initiatives that have been taken by a number of broadcasters thus far are far preferable to government regulation when dealing with programming issues. We also believe that most Americans would acknowledge that broadcast programming is considerably less explicit in terms of violence and sexual content than that which is routinely found on cable and satellite channels." --------------------------------------------------- Response from NAB President & CEO Edward O. Fritts to Sen. McCain's LPFM Legislation "It is unfortunate Sen. McCain is relying on the deeply flawed Mitre study in supporting the authorization of more low power FM stations. Local radio listeners should not be subjected to the inevitable interference that would result from shoehorning more stations onto an already overcrowded radio dial."
Posted
9:08 AM
by Gene
Click "Turn Light On" at the top of the left-hand column for a simpler page design that may be easier to read.
Posted
8:48 AM
by Gene
Thankfully we Web surfers get it for free, proving the old saw -- you get what you pay for.
Posted
6:29 AM
by Gene
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Posted
6:13 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:55 PM
by Gene
Sir, there is no setting the point of precedency between a louse and a flea.
Posted
5:37 PM
by Gene
And he died on the same week TRIB admitted to CIRCULATION INFLATION at its New York rag. I will admit his moon landing front page was a masterpiece. May he rest in peace.
Posted
5:23 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:07 PM
by Gene
A story like this is almost foreordained.
Posted
5:05 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:01 PM
by Gene
And when a CURLEY STOOGE says it's bad, it's BAD.
Posted
4:58 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:07 PM
by Gene
But it was worth the audition!
Posted
2:35 PM
by Gene
Lawyer Joseph Giaimo, whose clients have accused Newsday of circulation-pumping fraud to drive up ad rates, told Judge Leonard Wexler that one plaintiff - East Coast Realtors - quit the suit after learning that the paper would no longer run its ads. [This reported on March 12.] And six days after the TRIB reports CONRAD'S FOLLIES, INSTANT-ACTIN' INSTAPROF FINALLY FINDS OUT.
Posted
2:06 PM
by Gene
Jeez, you can't be TOO careful with your own BLOG! Pffh-hh-hh!
Posted
2:03 PM
by Gene
THE “CONCERT FOR CHANGE,” WOULD BE HELD SEPT. 1 AT GIANTS STADIUM, ACROSS THE HUDSON RIVER FROM THE REPUBLICANS’ MEETING AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN, SAID PROMOTER AND DEMOCRATIC ACTIVIST ANDREW RASIEJ, WHO HAS RESERVED THE DATE AT SPRINGSTEEN’S NEW JERSEY HOME VENUE THAT HE ROUTINELY SELLS OUT WHEN HE TOURS!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
1:50 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:34 PM
by Gene
A DARK day in American history. Pfffffffffffffffffffft! Our Congresspoops are doing this because BROADCASTERS wouldn't take responsibility -- and just as important, because ADVERTISERS WOULDN'T TAKE IT EITHER.
Posted
1:31 PM
by Gene
Oh, they WON'T?!?!? Shucks. You mean NEWS HACKS DON'T ALWAYS WIN?!?!?
Posted
1:28 PM
by Gene
When news hacks ask THE GENERAL to JUMP....
Posted
6:28 AM
by Gene
Ralph! RALPHIE BOY! Where are your LAWYERS?
Posted
6:20 AM
by Gene
Does that mean they're wrong? Monday, June 21, 2004
Posted
5:56 PM
by Gene
So many pundits, newspapers and broadcasters have blitzed the public with snippets and views of Bill Clinton's memoirs that readers may feel they hardly need open the book themselves. Someone should write a column: "101 Uses for Bill Clinton's Memoirs." That would be a riot. Certainly they won't be READ.
Posted
5:48 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:47 PM
by Gene
I can imagine the pricing for these new ones.
Posted
5:36 PM
by Gene
SHUT UP already. Life's been fair enough to you duffers.
Posted
5:34 PM
by Gene
Pffh-hh-hh-hh-hh!!
Posted
5:25 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:22 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:21 PM
by Gene
Or to put it more briefly, Michael is to the loony left what P. R. MEL was to the Christian right: a vitriolic button pusher pushing all the right buttons, a man who'd destroy the country to feed his depthless vanity. Michael will make his big bucks -- maybe not as many as Mel, but he'll make them, and the country will fume just as it did before. No wonder people despise politics.
Posted
1:56 PM
by Gene
Better watch out, Anon. They found out Joe Klein.
Posted
1:36 PM
by Gene
No. There's too much gender and ethnic bean-counting in hiring decisions already. Don't lard on another category. Why should a mediocre conservative reporter get a leg up on a liberal with a first-rate portfolio of clippings? Amen, brother. (And this guy agrees the press crawls with bugs -- liberals.)
Posted
1:12 PM
by Gene
Con-SER-vatives always like to gloat that Mickey D's is THE Miracle of Capitalism; I suspect it's more bogged down in paperwork than the Feds. It's only come back due to salads and shrewd PR, and maybe some executive hinting to the franchisees that their emporia must be slightly cleaner. Another thing: when it comes to FINANCING CRAP ON TV, one word is DEFINITELY in its vocabulary: JUDGMENTAL. That's precisely the word I would expect to hear from those lobbyists at the American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertsiers were they to e-mail me back. JUDGMENTAL, of course, is a code word for CONSERVATIVE. And that's code for, we'll write off at least a third of our customers so we can do what we damn well please.
Posted
11:47 AM
by Gene
Surprising that the JOURNALS' LIBERAL EDITION RAN THIS. But it does have a happy ending, er, last graf.
Posted
11:21 AM
by Gene
ON TO THE JETSONS!!!!!!!!!! Flying AMC Pacers, space-car garages on bottomless stilts, orbiting traffic jams...What hath Paul wrought?
Posted
10:39 AM
by Gene
I think this means -- another flack sheet from WHORVIS COMMUNICATIONS.
Posted
8:50 AM
by Gene
And I said Entertainment Weekly was ack thbbft months before you did.
Posted
8:40 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:35 AM
by Gene
I'd say it's a mismatch but I'd say the MAD MULLAHS want to fight the first NUCLEAR WAR.
Posted
6:36 AM
by Gene
If only we could wave a magic wand and make USA OKAY disappear.
Posted
6:23 AM
by Gene
• Dog sense of smell could help dianose illness [home-page hed]
Posted
6:17 AM
by Gene
Is that NEWSHACKESE for MICROMANAGING? Sunday, June 20, 2004
Posted
6:30 PM
by Gene
Can you begin to imagine how much MONEY people waste on this empire? ONWARD TO ONE NATIONAL FEE COLLECTOR!!!!!
Posted
6:30 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:11 PM
by Gene
and USA OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
12:49 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:36 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:36 PM
by Gene
"A type-B personality." Yeah sure, Kingie. In a type-A business. ALL HAIL THE KING!!!!!
Posted
9:35 AM
by Gene
If the members of ANA are so responsible please explain this line in a puff piece for Tom Freston: He said he had never prevented his sons, now 14 and 19, from watching any MTV Networks show. And he added that no advertiser had ever pulled out because of programming. I await an answer, knowing none will ever come.
Posted
9:35 AM
by Gene
UPDATE: Reader David Gerstman emails that the BBC story is 3 years old.... Yeah but it got you twenty zillion katillion more hits.
Posted
9:35 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:51 AM
by Gene
This account is drawn from interviews with a score of current and former CPA officials, several in senior positions, other U.S. government officials and Iraqis who work with the CPA. Most spoke on the condition they not be identified by name because of rules barring people working for the CPA from speaking to journalists without approval from CPA public affairs officials. And these zillion-dollar idiots have been beating their holy breasts this last week about their @#$%&* ANONYMOUS SOURCES. I repeat my definition from the NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY: a source is "someone a news hack cites when he wishes to express an opinion." Once you read a paragraph like that you STOP READING, no matter how truthful the account.
Posted
8:44 AM
by Gene
Hey ALLAH!! Gimme 72 more VIRGINS!!!!!
Posted
8:38 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:34 AM
by Gene
And these clowns are always saying we should make prisons more HUMANE. We should. BUT NOT JUST FOR SOME. I will admit the hed is very sad.
Posted
8:31 AM
by Gene
![]() Someone should tell the Republicans: you know, a FEW in your party do surf THEPAPEROFRECORD.COM.
Posted
8:12 AM
by Gene
MR. MARK! MR. MARK! HE'S AMERICA'S BIGGEST JARK! If Lorenz Hart could use that word I can.
Posted
8:12 AM
by Gene
Why is every one of your heroes an SOB? And how do I know this is the sort of thing you have to scrape from your feet after stepping in it? It quotes PAUL DRECK AND THE PERFESSER OF BAD TV. By the way, JIMMY "POUND THE TABLE" CRAMER, if media crime families like VIACON are going down the toilet why do NEWS HACKS and SALESMEN like YOU crawl one over another to suck up to their top execs? Huh, STERNO?
Posted
8:12 AM
by Gene
Saudi Arabia and Pakistan let terrorists flourish before 9/11, apparently in return for protection from attacks by Al Qaeda. WELL! As if WE didn't know. Saturday, June 19, 2004
Posted
7:07 PM
by Gene
The book, which weighs in at more than 950 pages, is sloppy, self-indulgent and often eye-crossingly dull — the sound of one man prattling away, not for the reader, but for himself and some distant recording angel of history. Well, she says a couple of good things too. I still want to know about spelling and grammar errors. P. S. Mark "COULTER" Steyn (sorry Mark, but some people must TYPE) calls it "My Lie - whoops, My Life." Why couldn't I have thought of that?
Posted
7:07 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:45 PM
by Gene
2. What must it feel like to have to slave over a hot computer typing out a piece of Shrek, er, dreck like this?
Posted
2:21 PM
by Gene
I use "moronic" myself.
Posted
1:53 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:39 PM
by Gene
Green? I don't see no green.
Posted
1:23 PM
by Gene
So MICKEYMOUSE NIXON remade it anyway. ABANDON SHIP!
Posted
1:08 PM
by Gene
Does it matter?
Posted
8:52 AM
by Gene
Translation: IT STINKS. But Carl Limburger smells quite good to himself, and so does the reek from the NEWS HACKS' armpits.
Posted
8:29 AM
by Gene
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWELL!
Posted
8:27 AM
by Gene
Plus the hacks' SIXTH SENSE FOR NEWS seems to be curiously alert before such events.
Posted
8:21 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:18 AM
by Gene
Knowing news hacks, they'll manage. Friday, June 18, 2004
Posted
5:42 PM
by Gene
Universal Studios Home Video Is Proud to Announce 'NBC News Presents' I've got a better title: This is Six Sigma?
Posted
5:35 PM
by Gene
What sense does it make to save some lives if we're going to destroy just as many in the process?
Posted
5:29 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:12 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:42 AM
by Gene
And that, in a tidy little package, is the secret of "successful" news hacks, bloggers -- and PUNDITS.
Posted
9:30 AM
by Gene
I guess it's that or lose another "$1 billion."
Posted
8:29 AM
by Gene
Again, there was absolutely NO REASON to attack Iraq.
Posted
6:47 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:36 AM
by Gene
GRAYDON and the ad-blurb copywriters' effusions over A NEW GOLDEN AGE OF ENTERTAINMENT are reason enough for the HACKS to have forfeit their last shred of credibility. Thursday, June 17, 2004
Posted
7:45 PM
by Gene
How widespread is this farce?
Posted
6:12 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:00 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:09 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:03 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:54 PM
by Gene
DR. DYLAN (NOW IF ONLY HE COULD LEARN TO SING)
Posted
1:41 PM
by Gene
I don't like it when columnists play mind games with me, mister -- right OR left. By the way, Romy -- who IS Dan Kennedy?
Posted
11:37 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:35 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:18 AM
by Gene
With news of an impending attack against the United States gaining wider circulation, a rift developed within al Qaeda’s leadership. Although Bin Ladin wanted the operation to proceed as soon as possible, several senior al Qaeda figures thought they should follow the position taken by their Afghan host, Taliban leader Mullah Omar, who opposed attacking the United States. According to one al Qaeda member, when Bin Ladin returned after the general alert in late July, he spoke to his confidants about problems he was having with Omar’s unwillingness to allow any further attacks against the United States from Afghanistan. KSM [Khalid Sheikh Mohammed] claims that Omar opposed attacking the United States for ideological reasons but permitted attacks against Jewish targets. KSM denies that Omar’s opposition reflected concern about U.S. retaliation but notes that the Taliban leader was under pressure from the Pakistani government to keep al Qaeda from engaging in operations outside Afghanistan. While some senior al Qaeda figures opposed the 9/11 operation out of deference to Omar, others reportedly expressed concern that the U.S. would respond militarily. Bin Ladin, on the other hand, reportedly argued that attacks against the United States needed to be carried out immediately to support the insurgency in the Israeli occupied territories and to protest the presence of U.S. military forces in Saudi Arabia. Bin Ladin also thought that an attack against the United States would reap al Qaeda a recruiting and fundraising bonanza. In his thinking, the more al Qaeda did, the more support it would gain. Although he faced opposition from many of his most senior advisers — including Shura council members Shaykh Saeed, Sayf al Adl, and Abu Hafs the Mauritanian — Bin Ladin effectively overruled their objections, and the attacks went forward.
Posted
9:26 AM
by Gene
Aside from the fact that Mickey Mouse already writes most news copy, people won't notice a byline strike because SO MANY STORIES IN SO MANY NEWS MEDIA AREN'T BYLINED. That the Journals employ megalomaniacs (Al Hunt, John Fund) does not exempt them from the public's indifference either, although we who know their excellences (or is it "their Excellencies"?) know better.
Posted
9:19 AM
by Gene
Only three things need be remembered about that decade: 1. It was the second ten years of the Me Decade; 2. Except for MUSICAL MASTERWORKS ("Thriller," "Born in the USA") and catchphrases ("Greed is good"; "WHERE'S THE BEEF?") it was a time of cultural dross; and 3. Because of the first two things the eighties never ended.
Posted
6:28 AM
by Gene
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Posted
6:56 PM
by Gene
Any store that plays Billy Joel on its foreground muzak never restocks sale items.
Posted
4:50 PM
by Gene
"The commonwealth - indeed the nation - cannot afford another four years of George Bush." Alas, we cannot afford another couple of years of your industry, its prevarications, its selling, its complete raw contempt for the public -- but it will remain in power long after you or I or Bush or DIP shuffle off this mortal coil -- assuming, as it does not pay to assume, that NEWS HACKS are MORTAL.
Posted
3:35 PM
by Gene
Starting with 2,000-word foreplay.
Posted
3:07 PM
by Gene
This clown got more hits spreading this one rumor than I've gotten since I've started blogging.
Posted
2:40 PM
by Gene
And he's perfect too: politically well-connected, a wheeler-dealer, a bloviator, someone who can utter BIG WORDS before Congressional committees...now if we can only get him friends with CICERO.
Posted
10:28 AM
by Gene
Followed by...hostage takings in Lebanon, the Beirut Massacre, the Achille Lauro, Iran-Contra, the Lockerbie bombing -- a VERY impressive record, DANNY.
Posted
10:08 AM
by Gene
P. S. A better ad would have read: "RESTRICTED: No one under 22 can pirate our movies -- unless you get away with it."
Posted
9:14 AM
by Gene
May the WORST cultural artifact WIN!
Posted
8:33 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:12 AM
by Gene
This means instead of making fifty deals a year Gray makes fifty deals a year -- with a DISCLAIMER. P. S. to OMERTA: The hed says Vanity Fair has a code of ethics. The STORY says "Conde Nast." Your HED is WRONG, or your STORY is wrong. Which is it?
Posted
6:56 AM
by Gene
![]() I always wanted to write my own musical. So I must sigh when I see this photo. These five jolly old men are (left to right) John Kander and Fred Ebb, the songwriters of Cabaret; the revered theatrical director and producer Harold Prince; and Sheldon Harnick and Jerry Bock, the songwriters of Fiddler on the Roof. The two collaborating teams have just donated a treasure trove of manuscripts to the New York Public Library. These men richly deserve to be happy (as well as richly deserving to be rich), but it should make us melancholy to think that no one ever took their place.
Posted
6:45 AM
by Gene
Wasn't it enough that you published a bad novel and a ghosted memoir? Oh well, I've done some not-very-good "reviews" for Amazon.com too.
Posted
6:33 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:25 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:22 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:20 AM
by Gene
It may have helped that you joined the IMMORTALS on a TUESDAY. Tuesday, June 15, 2004
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