Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Posted
7:29 PM
by Gene
![]() The biggest clamshell ever made -- OR... Barbarella's tube!
Posted
7:22 PM
by Gene
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7:06 PM
by Gene
Posted
7:01 PM
by Gene
For once we endorse an action of SUMNER'S.
Posted
6:59 PM
by Gene
Unfortunately for The One, the guy's a left-leaning Finger. P. S. at 10:06 p. m. GE BANCORP NETWORK NEWS makes it official: he's leaving. (No link) P. P. S. at 10:12 p. m. National Public NewsTalk Radio says so too. P. P. P. S. at 10:16 p. m. Nobody noticed the ASSPress story, and nobody notices this. Here's a big political news story and no one notices. I suppose the hacks are still trailing BO, or congratulating themselves on Sen. O'Specter, or still counting the HUNDRED DAYS. And since no one notices we will jump ahead of overrated sites like the VOLOKHHEADS, who would be over this in the proverbial New York minute, and speculate The One chooses from left field, in both ways. MESS link at 10:23 p. m. P. P. P. P. S. We didn't notice -- Nina Totenberg reported it for NPNTR. They must have shared a few commiserations. (We learned that because it's up on WIKI, the World's News Leader. Pfffffffffffffffft!)
Posted
10:47 AM
by Gene
New 'USA Today' Editor: Seek to 'Innovate Like Hell' This means -- MORE HUGE front-page sports blurbs, MORE HEAD-BANGING front-page show-biz advertorials, MORE gimmicks with advertisers to goose sales. (And MORE stories about the First Family's dinner preferences, it goes without saying -- although we may throw in an occasional INVESTIGATIVE REPORT about REPUBLICANS.) It does NOT mean a better paper -- as if that were possible with USAOKAY!!!!!
Posted
10:19 AM
by Gene
And we have not heeded this CRISIS!!!!! because we rather suspected we'd hear something like this, though it pays to keep your fingers crossed.
Posted
9:11 AM
by Gene
WHY will stocks go up a thousand points today? (Via Seeking Alpha)
Posted
8:40 AM
by Gene
Spinning off PEOPLE INC. would be too good for it.
Posted
8:29 AM
by Gene
Where were you? I think we know where you hacks were: lazing in your luxury news suites, giddy at the death and destruction, waiting to lay a guilt trip on -- PEOPLE WHOSE RACE WAS MOSTLY YOURS. Why today, PVT. ZELL? Or is this in honor of the decimation of your Baltimore newsroom? Remember PVT. -- THE DO-NOT-CALL LAW. Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Posted
8:22 PM
by Gene
![]() Okay -- here's a good one from ARCHDaily -- an Austrian warehouse. I don't know if the overhang serves a useful function but it could. Such design would never happen here -- the bean counters would be all over it before you could say "award-winning". But it is a nice departure from the usual industrial slabs. See? We don't mindlessly dump on modern architecture! (A better picture here -- but it's 1100 x 1100. We repeat: not bad!)
Posted
7:41 PM
by Gene
Challenge Him to a DUEL, SLIME!
Posted
7:37 PM
by Gene
Eight Oscars and $326 million in box office receipts have so far done little to improve the lives of the film's two impoverished child stars. SLIME! WHERE'S THE MONEY?
Posted
7:34 PM
by Gene
No wonder his ene -- friends are annoyed.
Posted
5:54 PM
by Gene
What makes this exasperating is that the only Republicans the hacks will praise are those who think like them (as if we need be reminded) -- and politicians approved by news hacks may not necessarily be Republicans. It is also possible when he runs for president he may have to do things that will shut off the news-hack faucets of praise. Anyone for Boobs McKeating II? Oh, and anyone here remember Pete Wilson? P. S. It's time for our free, fearless and independent STATE MEDIA to start saying "YAHOOS" in code words.
Posted
5:43 PM
by Gene
In -- PEOPLE NEWSRAG?!?
Posted
1:22 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:22 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:04 PM
by Gene
![]() TEN... NINE... EIGHT... SEVEN... SIX... FIVE... FOUR... THREE... TWO... ONE... ![]() AND REMEMBER: ![]() Big Brother is watching you. P. S. at 12:24 p. m. 48,001 LINKS IN GOOGLE NEWS.
Posted
10:19 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:59 AM
by Gene
And he IS a perfesser, so it should come naturally.
Posted
9:56 AM
by Gene
You need some kind of public conceit to maintain the appearance of principle. It's going to be much harder for Specter to pull this off than people think. Political elites are underrating the difficulty of the task because they've assimilated the phoniness and moral trade-offs in politics to a degree that the general public hasn't. [Emphasis added] TRANSLATION: Our superiors (and that includes BIGMEDIA types) are moral lepers.
Posted
9:46 AM
by Gene
![]() See, if it weren't for BIGMEDIA'S AUTHORITARIAN way of doing things, and the fact that it rules over America more than mere mortals, and in so many ways claims its favorites as glorified puppets, maybe we'd really like the president. I mean, he seems in an ordinary one-to-one way like a really really good guy. But because the hacks have already put his mug on Mt. Rushmore does not help anybody. And dammit haven't they ever heard the one Fred Astaire line he didn't include in his inaugural? And an awful letdown may hurt more than his reelection bid.
Posted
9:41 AM
by Gene
Or maybe because 6.1 percent isn't as bad as 6.3 percent it's "above expectations".
Posted
8:18 AM
by Gene
America should repudiate torture not because it is always ineffective -- nothing is always anything -- or because others loathe it but because it degrades us and runs counter to our national values. It is a statement of principle, somewhat similar to why we do not tap all phones or stop and frisk everyone under the age of 28. Those measures would certainly reduce crime, but they are abhorrent to us. But it is important to understand that abolishing torture will not make us safer. Terrorists do not give a damn about our morality, our moral authority or what one columnist called "our moral compass." George Bush was certainly disliked in much of the world, but the Sept. 11 attacks were planned while Bill Clinton was in office, and he offended no one with the possible exception of the Christian right. Indeed, he went around the world apologizing for America's misdeeds -- slavery, in particular. No terrorist turned back as a result. It sputters off toward the end when Dick gingerly compares Dubya to the NAZIS, but we'll take our light from the press in whatever tiny quantities we can. Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Posted
9:23 PM
by Gene
![]() The world's biggest high-tech splashproof urinal; ![]() And for the women the world's biggest...er.... ![]() The worst Christmas-wrapping job in history; ![]() What color would that be? If it's the color we think they could be speckled factory-reject Goobers.
Posted
7:31 PM
by Gene
Don't call this BUD's nightmare; call it His DREAM -- a dream of so many zillionaires and taxpayers financing SELIGISM He'd need no fans. Oh, it's too early for baseball, He'll say. Perhaps; but it's never too early to lose money.
Posted
6:30 PM
by Gene
Brown also buries the lede in her last sentence, hinting at the possible closure of ... The New Yorker. ... But what would she know about The New Yorker. ... [Link added] We can dream, can't we? P. S. Tina's last two sentences: When Si Newhouse bought The New Yorker, though, he took upon himself the responsibility for an institution that is part of the nation’s cerebral cortex. Let’s hope this pitiless economy doesn’t force him to cap his noble career by performing a lobotomy. If he does, you and Dr. Remnick were in the operating room first. (Sasha was one of the orderlies.)
Posted
6:24 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:56 PM
by Gene
"While I have been comfortable being a Republican, my Party has not defined who I am. I have taken each issue one at a time and have exercised independent judgment to do what I thought was best for Pennsylvania and the nation. Since my election in 1980, as part of the Reagan Big Tent, the Republican Party has moved far to the right. Last year, more than 200,000 Republicans in Pennsylvania changed their registration to become Democrats." SENATOR SPECTER, THAT WAS OPERATION CHAOS! A LARGE PART OF THAT WAS JUST A GAME!! A LARGE PART OF THAT WAS A TRICK!!! IT WAS OPERATION CHAOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Chaotic overemphasis added] Indeed it was such a successful trick that all 200,000-plus came ROARING BACK to WIN THE STATE FOR BOOBS McKEATING!!!!! I'm thinking a seven-letter Yiddishism that rhymes with BUCK. (Corrected at 7:01 p. m.; I thought PILLHEAD won the election for SEN. DENNIS DAY, but that was in 2006.)
Posted
5:29 PM
by Gene
P. S. Perhaps it is melodramatic to speak of one-party rule; but in modern media's use democracy is a code word for total control.
Posted
2:44 PM
by Gene
This is the opposite side of GRIM MILESTONE. TRANSLATION: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! OUR TEAM WINS!!!!!!!!!! Hacks think they do themselves a favor with such varied forms of cheerleading. They may not even do a favor for their friends, who could in time be disappointed. (BIG CAVEAT: A ghost for DUBYA.) MNI AT FIFTY-FOUR-POINT-TWO CENTS further suggests it.
Posted
12:35 PM
by Gene
The hacks must be having impromptu champagne celebrations. (Well, ginger ale, anyway.) Whether one-party rule works so well for the people we will soon enough learn.
Posted
12:29 PM
by Gene
(Via Seeking Alpha)
Posted
11:37 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:29 AM
by Gene
Newsmen are IMMORTAL. (The jackass Howie Hairshirt via MediaBistro)
Posted
8:24 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:23 AM
by Gene
![]() There's the last question that would occur to Bunsen Honeydews.
Posted
8:20 AM
by Gene
(Via MediaBistro) Monday, April 27, 2009
Posted
7:33 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:01 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:59 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:33 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:20 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:16 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:58 AM
by Gene
[G]ambling money has never been plentiful enough to prop up the state's education system -- and likely never will. Florida's sales tax-driven general revenue fund is the backbone of education spending, though pro-gambling forces typically leave out that fact when promising to help fund schools. Making matters worse: State lawmakers, in effect, broke their promise with the lottery. Billed as a way to improve education, the money over time was used to simply replace existing education dollars, with little net gain for schools. That is, the gambling cash supplanted state education money -- it didn't supplement it.
Posted
9:42 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:16 AM
by Gene
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Posted
6:30 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:06 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:03 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:41 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:23 AM
by Gene
''The flames were filling the street, like 15 feet high, and kids were throwing furniture on it and hanging from trees and screaming 'KSU' over and over again,'' she said. Well, at least nothing about pigs.
Posted
10:53 AM
by Gene
And FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS could throw a tantrum at not being invited and get big ratings just yelling at itself. This would be perfect!
Posted
10:33 AM
by Gene
There is a warning sign for the GOP in the new poll: 21 percent of those surveyed said they identify as Republicans, the fewest to do so in a Post-ABC poll in more than 25 years. Last fall, Democrats outnumbered Republicans at the polls by the biggest margin in network exit polls going back to the 1982 midterms. (NINETEENTH OF TWENTY GRAFS) And how do we know there are so few Republicans? Because they tell us. And how do we know they're telling us right? Well, we try to make our samples accurate. And how do we know they're accurate? Well, we ask other pollsters, and other newsmen, and.... Okay, the P. O. P. is still in the doghouse, and deservedly so. But we again submit public opinion polls are basically a reflection of news hack coverage, and they can be slanted to suit the news hacks' slants. There are also warning signs for KAPLAN, INC.: Its shares are STILL NEARLY SIXTY PERCENT FROM THEIR ALL-TIME HIGHS, ITS PUTATIVE FLAGSHIP PAPER IS "LOSING 'SUBSTANTIAL MONEY'", and ITS MEDIA UNIT IS STILL VIRTUALLY WORTHLESS. Saturday, April 25, 2009
Posted
6:28 PM
by Gene
August Wedding for 'Craigslist' Suspect Is Off, Says Wedding Band
Posted
6:22 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:41 PM
by Gene
"Self-impressed." Now why did BRENT! have to come up with that description of JonBoy? Why couldn't it have been someone less partisan? P. S. on 4/26 at 12:45 p. m.: I should have mentioned -- JonBoy had somebody hold up a model of Enterprise for the cover apparently thinking that way he could deke readers into believing it wasn't an ADVERTORIAL. THE BEST LAID PLANS....
Posted
4:46 PM
by Gene
We adults must talk of pop not as a foreign language, a worn old trope, but as some sort of garbled Morse code broadcast silently by a distant race of androids to earthly cults who keep it among themselves. The great Jack Teagarden made that old John Green - Edward Heyman song famous. His version wanders through my head too now and then. You don't need an attitude to hear it. Big T would be about the same to those stupid teen girls as their wailing is to me. Not my loss; it's theirs -- and ours. P. S. on 6/27/2009 at 5:40 p. m. I should have mentioned: Salinger was a friend of John Green's and worked for him when he was music director at MGM. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Posted
1:59 PM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: 1. WE ARE THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. This constant gargle about endowments and bailouts is no accident; by removing themselves from the UNALLOYED EVIL of advertising revenues newsmen would be newsmen, meaning raging megalomanaics squared. And news hacks ARE important. 2. THE WORLD OWES US A LIVING. $100 million a year would be a good use for some philanthropy somewhere, especially now after the SCUM MADOFF; so of course some former editor at FIFTYTHREECENTSCO must ask for a "PRESTIGIOUS" HI-MOM MOMENT, all the better for his brethren to plead for further handouts. Yes, we must say it again, the reason your biz is held in no regard is because of the DO-NOT-CALL LAW.
Posted
11:48 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:52 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:33 AM
by Gene
And even the commenters, who may be industry types, aren't impressed. (Via the usual Romy, who was extremely impressed) Friday, April 24, 2009
Posted
1:25 PM
by Gene
Joint Chiefs head 'concerned' about Taliban in Pakistan So! Movee plugs are more important than the Taliban. Nothing new for USAOKAY!!!!!
Posted
10:59 AM
by Gene
Hey what's wrong with thanking the people who brought you to the game?
Posted
9:31 AM
by Gene
This is why their OUTRAGE over the front-page ad was so deeply offensive and hypocritical: THESE IDIOTS RUN ADS ALL THE TIME. A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO MARIA ELENA!
Posted
9:01 AM
by Gene
![]() Elsewhere from the Nation's Smiley Face: As his 100th day as president approaches next Wednesday, the survey shows Obama has not only maintained robust approval ratings but also bolstered the sense that he is a strong and decisive leader who can manage the government effectively during a time of economic crisis. OR: They saw Ike, and they liked what they saw. They liked him because he turned out to be an amazingly good campaigner: he could shake a man's hand and say the gracious word graciously; he could catch a delegate's name and remember it 24 hours later; and he could shoulder gently through a harassing crowd and never get harassed. They liked him for his strong, vigorous manner of speech, for his quiet control when schedules collapsed or plans were drenched with rain, and for an over riding, innate kindliness and modesty. The STATE PRESS is at it again! Thankfully it finds time to show its softer side, rather like the velvet glove on the -- you know: What about the new White House dog, Bo? Two percent say getting the dog was the best thing Obama has done as president; 1% call it the worst. "Those people are cats," Axelrod counters. It appears the morons at Gallup shared the good news with Dave before they made it public. Here's another reason nearly every blasted story in a paper or Web site should be slugged ADVERTISEMENT.
Posted
8:54 AM
by Gene
And USAOKAY!!!!!'s continuing PLUGS promise to make me blow MY lid! ![]() A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO LID-BLOWING TONY!!!!! Oh and by the way, thanks SONS of SOB, for the ad on THE BATTLE OF EAST VS. WEST!!!!! that wouldn't leave my screen! You have a stake in it? Another reminder: GCI at $3.13!
Posted
8:28 AM
by Gene
Broadway Producers Threaten Liberace Musical
Posted
8:23 AM
by Gene
![]() SUPER CHICKEN's employment rate got ZAPPED! Does he still have a high POPULARITY RATING? Thursday, April 23, 2009
Posted
7:53 PM
by Gene
Posted
7:44 PM
by Gene
For a man who rode to the presidency on the wings of his oratorical gems, Barack Obama has uttered remarkably few memorable phrases since taking office. What? The GREATEST SPEECHMAKER IN AMERICAN HISSSSSSSTORY????? We don't want to get obsessive on the topic -- heck even Boobs McKeating's help all but admits the guy couldn't campaign his way out of a shoe box -- and we're not knee-jerk conservative, but dammit if we don't have a state press sometimes -- which might account for the enthusiasm for a bailout; it would merely formalize the state end. We must take a rest from The New! CW.
Posted
7:26 PM
by Gene
![]() The hacks would go bobby-soxer-squealing crazy over The One's new Blackberry except it would then remind the turnips why a president may have to keep some things secret.
Posted
7:02 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:50 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:19 PM
by Gene
Please! Invent more toys!
Posted
5:59 PM
by Gene
AND HOWARD can push the button! Morons will be morons, especially with a pencil sticking out of both ears. NYT at $5.13...GCI at $3.13...MEG at $2.27...SSP at $1.74...MNI at FIFTY-FOUR CENTS...how much lower do you want to go to TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted
5:56 PM
by Gene
The 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. prime-time period likely will be shorter, programs will be tailored to audiences, and increasingly advertisers will show up in the programs instead of just the commercials. Even more radical, say industry insiders: Networks may turn over programming to outsiders some nights or let local stations provide their own shows on, say, Saturday evenings. I recall when our local mint Channel 6 broadcast prime-time fashion shows for the long defunct Hess's of Allentown, and prime-time rodeo -- on Monday nights! Next these clowns will tell us that wrestling and roller derby are the wave of the future. TV is merely going back to what it should have stuck with -- localism. (Although most of it, of course, will center on the infernal PROFIT CENTE -- video police blot -- LOCAL NEWS.)
Posted
1:49 PM
by Gene
(Via -- oh well -- NRO)
Posted
10:02 AM
by Gene
In a 2005 review of 105 previously published studies, Stack found that about 40% of the studies suggested an association between media coverage of suicide, particularly celebrity suicide, and suicide rates in the general public. He also found a dose-response effect: The more coverage of a suicide, the greater the number of copycat deaths. BUT 60% OF PAST RESEARCH FOUND NO SUCH LINK, ACCORDING TO STACK'S STUDY. (Conclusive overemphasis added) A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO MAIA!
Posted
9:44 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:38 AM
by Gene
Maybe if they hadn't opened their mouths demanding to help their FRIENDS the BANKERS in the first place they wouldn't have had to SHUT HIM UP.
Posted
9:28 AM
by Gene
Even better: The slowdown hasn’t stopped Michigan and Louisiana from building multi-million-dollar production facilities. Producer Jimmy Lifton *announced (sic) plans last week to build a $146-million, 750,000-square foot production studio factory and village in Allen Park, Mich. And a $45-million, 500,000 square-foot studio complex recently opened near New Orleans, even though only two films are slated to shoot there. But only 10 films are “anticipated” to shoot in Michigan -- none of which are backed by major studios, according to the Michigan Film Office’s website. And the New Orleans Office of Film and Video lists 13 features -- mostly independents -- in pre-production, but none currently filming. What do moVEE "studios" and sports stadiums have in common? Oh, never mind.
Posted
9:18 AM
by Gene
I didn't think so -- not at a rag where LEGENDARY's a contributor! At Home Depot, he replaced many veteran hardware guys and retired tradesmen with twentysomethings making less money. The cuts gave profits a short-term pop, but lackluster service drove away loyal customers. At Chrysler, Nardelli cut costs partly by robbing from tomorrow. Car companies are nowhere if they don't have new products in the pipeline. But he cut capital spending for new models from more than $3 billion in 2007 to $2.3 billion for the next two years. When the feds showed up to assess Chrysler's viability, they noted that Nardelli's team planned only four new models for the next five years. If it looks like LEGENDARY, smells like LEGENDARY, and RATIONALIZES like LEGENDARY, it IS LEGENDARY.
Posted
8:30 AM
by Gene
(Via MediaBistro) P. S. at 8:15 p. m. He has a talent for figuring out what everyone would want to talk about, and then he writes a quick, mediocre piece on the subject that doesn't do it justice or that takes an extreme position for effect--but that says just enough to kill off the interest of other, better journalists in tackling the issue. (Boldface for effect included) And Mickey has a talent for figuring out what WONKS want to talk about, and then writing a quick, snickering piece on the subject filled with factoids and bald "insider" assertions -- but that says just enough to kill off the interest of any non-Beltway type wanting to tackle the issue. Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Posted
7:48 PM
by Gene
Does anyone remember when the MICK used low-rent video walls to display prices behind the counter? With luck this will go the same way. But before then be prepared for DEAFENING TV COMMERCIALS.
Posted
6:45 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:42 PM
by Gene
(First link via -- oh well -- MS. TRAVERS)
Posted
1:27 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:31 AM
by Gene
It was indeed a Rube Goldberg project, reconfigured on the fly as an extra floor of space (once a FreshGrocer market) became available, requiring two kitchens, each outfitted with custom, high-end Montague ranges with inserts for the garbage cans and even salt and pepper shakers. It took an extra year to redesign the expanded space, and the finished decor (along with a 500-year-old burled walnut stump fashioned as a maitre d' stand) finally described as "Pacific Northwest Natural." Then came the rush: "I don't think we got a chance to grow legs," recalled Melissa Monosoff, the opening sommelier (and now at Savona). Only half the kitchen staff - penciled in for 40 - was on board on opening night last April. A last-minute market in addition to the bistro downstairs created an identity crisis and a logjam. "We didn't have menu covers for the first three months," said Monosoff. But if the physical space was an unruly sprawl, the management structure seemed to invite maximum dysfunction. Provco's Holtz found fault with nearly every aspect of the operation: The high-end chefs, he complained, weren't conversant with running a first-floor coffee shop, bistro, and prepared-food market. (Terence Feury had been head chef at Striped Bass and the Ritz-Carlton in Philadelphia and in Washington; his brother Patrick trained at Le Cirque in New York and was splitting his time between Maia and Nectar, his popular Berwyn dining room and bar.) [Oui oui!] Two of the three spaces, he said, were underused, the market and coffee shop generating only hundreds of dollars a day. The kitchen equipment was way too precious. The soft costs for design, engineering, and architects were off the charts. The layout was built for inefficiency. Staffing was out of control! [SIC!] "If they could have hired someone to wipe their a-," he said, "they would have." (Overemphasis added) This is what our bankrupt StinkyInky runs in place of reporting. We do need a good laugh now and then -- but why so expensive?
Posted
10:27 AM
by Gene
The former president appeared to be throwing a dose of cold water on growing expectations for improved bilateral relations -- suggesting Obama had no right to dare suggest that Cuba make even small concessions. Ah but he does! Anything he says or does will NEVER hurt him.
Posted
10:23 AM
by Gene
Here is why JonBoy's New Zeitgeist will fail: The New CW has the zeitgeist down PAT.
Posted
8:39 AM
by Gene
In Washington, meanwhile, "It is important that people understand who we are," said Glickman. "Too often in our politics, Hollywood is cast as a stock villain in a tired tale." But remember, in the Beltway, villains make YOU the MONEY!
Posted
8:34 AM
by Gene
And making the money! Ka-CHING!!!!!
Posted
8:31 AM
by Gene
And no, he did not recommend CAROLINE for the Holy See post -- it says here. Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Posted
5:50 PM
by Gene
First off, because maybe they're used to Hugo and his friends; and second because maybe if some people did care they'd land in jail for it. P. S. at 6:11 p. m. I had not read the piece, but I have now, and this is almost precisely what it says. Mr. Toro has not been well served by TNRO's interns. (But then the Kinsleyites gave the same kind of slap to Ron Rosenbaum and his MEIN NUTS!!!!!!!!!! essay. Fatuousness seems to run in publishing families.)
Posted
5:44 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:37 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:21 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:16 PM
by Gene
ESPNCORP's animation unit -- copying from itself? Say it ain't so, UB! P. S. at 5:30 p. m. We're a little sorry now we posted this; most of the "offenses" seem to have occurred after Uncle Walt died (but before SID BASS and MICKEYMOUSE NIXON founded the company); Walt rotoscoped is still better than many of his contemporaries; and this YouTube clown engaged in intellectual property theft. (We may yet take it down; but it is still interesting.) P. P. S. Along with his father and two of his brothers, he was the largest shareholder in the The Walt Disney Company from 1984 until after the stock market crash in 2001. Bass was forced to sell his Disney holdings as a result of a margin call. Shades of SUMNER! Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!
Posted
12:23 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:54 AM
by Gene
Guess who wins the first Webby P-Ulitzer! (Via IWantMedia)
Posted
11:13 AM
by Gene
Really? With NYT at $50? Or MNI at $75? Or GCI at $90? Or WPO at almost $1,000? No, public ownership worked gangbusters for the print media -- until the marketplace decided on a long-overdue correction.
Posted
9:59 AM
by Gene
Because it's AMITY's book, and AMITY tells them FDR made the Depression TEN TIMES WORSE with all his schemes, which is another way of saying AMITY tells them what they want to hear.
Posted
9:22 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:19 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:36 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:31 AM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: The One is an even GREATER president! Monday, April 20, 2009
Posted
7:13 PM
by Gene
Ad Agencies at Fault for Economic Crisis, Finds Poll Majority of Americans Believe They 'Caused People to Buy Things They Couldn't Afford' So what do the Ranceoids do? They DENY it! First they quote an "expert": "The much-lauded 'science of advertising' is overblown." Well then why is advertising the greatest science since alchemy? And THEN they quote some pop-cultyure perfesser: "WHAT MOST ANNOYS ME ABOUT THIS WHOLE RESPONSE TO THE ECONOMIC SITUATION IS THAT THE MEDIA ACTUALLY LEADS FOLKS TO PLACE THEIR ANGER AT ANYONE AND EVERYONE EXCEPT THE REAL CULPRITS -- THE FINANCIERS WHO CREATED THE DEBACLE AND THE SYSTEM ITSELF THAT ALLOWED IT!!!!!" [Annoyed overemphasis added] Well didn't the financiers have to occasionally trumpet those low rates and nothing down? They could have done it wearing placards on a street corner, but that would not have been so distinguished even before they had to do it looking for other jobs.
Posted
6:56 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:50 PM
by Gene
Why Newsweek and Time will never be the [sic] Economist Well we can think of why that second title would never be The Econowiz: It's the sister rag of PEOPLE!
Posted
3:43 PM
by Gene
P. S. at 6:45 p. m. We looked over the list and didn't notice: Two awards for KAPLAN, INC.! JonBoy won the P-Ulitzer for maga -- for biography! Call it an honorary magazine prize. And please, P-Ulitzer "judges", don't tell us it's because he's such a brilliant biographer. Strutting like Henry Lu -- whoever it was that founded Zeitgeist? By the way, what happened to those Web awards you promised? Sounds like the same old dead-tree media to me.
Posted
12:28 PM
by Gene
(Via MediaBistro)
Posted
11:59 AM
by Gene
Of course we would not be surprised to learn our financial system is in the deepest of doo-doo. We've been reading it for months. I'm not sure a BLOGSPOT BLOG that cleverly implies a relationship with a PEOPLE WARNER subsidiary should be the first to alert us. And remember -- SAM's friends told us ARIEL SHARON was DEAD years before the fact. WORSE: A WHITE SUPREMACIST! AN ANTI-SEMITE! A RAGING LOON! SEEKING ALPHA IMBECILES!! I have removed the original link.
Posted
11:26 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:14 AM
by Gene
The ASSPress does something other than run PRESS RELEASES for once.
Posted
10:12 AM
by Gene
Now we know. Just one thing -- why did ED MURROW report this news? Why couldn't one of our TWITTER-MAD NEWS ORGS have done it?
Posted
9:10 AM
by Gene
Like hell! AIG can spend $100 million in 90 milliseconds! There is a limit to government by symbolism.
Posted
8:57 AM
by Gene
It isn't cheap. And if we know you hacks you intend to keep it a secret, largely for the same reason Ashton Kutcher is NO SECRET.
Posted
8:43 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:37 AM
by Gene
Wall Street Casino says B. of A. up $5! P. S. at 5:38 p. m. WRONG! (Caveat: Money Honey®!) Sunday, April 19, 2009
Posted
10:16 PM
by Gene
Er, backtracking, One?
Posted
9:38 PM
by Gene
![]() Comic Sans MS (I hadn't known its name until now) is a dorky looking font, but really no better or worse than other dorky looking fonts. That it's inspired by "The Dark Knight Returns and Watchmen" is unsurprising as computer geekery is but an extension of comic-book geekery. What doesn't surprise us either is that one of the universe's leading "news" organizations led us to this Wall Street Journals dissertation on it, SLIME's LIBERAL EDITION henchmen finding themselves an A1-printed 1,300-word excuse late last week to do one less article about you-know-who (as opposed to His CONSERVATIVE EDITION, obsessive and obstreperous in its own way). Yes, I know, the Journals have a tradition of running these keeyute stories and like that, but lately all we've been getting from news hacks is keeyute stories -- for a public-be-damned reason.
Posted
6:10 PM
by Gene
"The British people didn't buy it," Chamberlain said. "And there's a good reason the British people didn't buy it — because it doesn't make sense." We changed a few words. Is this unfair? Yes. But Neville thought he could "dialogue" with people too. Mideast peace talks are all about "dialoguing." We've been "dialoguing" with Iran and North Korea until our dialogues turned blue. It hasn't done our political prisoner in Iran much good. It hasn't done The Three-Millimeter Tyrant any harm.
Posted
5:45 PM
by Gene
1. Double-A is excited because TV types are successfully working more swear words into their programming. The flip side is GE BANCORP NETWORK had to get Jut-Jaw Jay to fill in the 10 p. m. hour five nights a week, putatively to save money -- but the 10 p. m. space has become a broadcasting dead zone. Did all of those curse words in the time period contribute? Are TV executives ever wrong? 2. We still cringe over what happened to Domino's because it was zero percent at fault. But we must concede no-brains like the two (we would use a certain eight-letter compound word to describe them here, but we try to be a profanity-free zone) may not be untypical of who works for the fast-fooders. These two (just read what I said before), indeed, may have been unlucky for accidentally exposing a closely guarded industry secret. That said, we're certain food tampering is extremely rare, and that fast-food firms do try their best to serve a wholesome product, but so many things in the industry work against it, like low wages and high turnover. This will not cease. We might add the more broadcasters and their sugar daddies on MadAve work coarseness into their programming, the more they work it into our lives -- something these idiots will deny to the day they die and go to Hell. 3. No, "Brand Google" is not in trouble so long as the Wall Street Casino believes it can cure every financial ill by being a growth stock, increasing evidence to the contrary regardless. 4. The latest fad in marketing: green. If it's so good why does it have to be another buzzword-promoted premium-priced fad? [A] vast majority of consumers said they believe green products cost more and don't perform as well as others. That should kill this latest one.
Posted
2:00 PM
by Gene
And now the city plans to take the place over, which may lead to unwanted taxpayer memories of its own. Did this wri-TER have something to do with it? I'd love to hear the MENCK.
Posted
1:25 PM
by Gene
I ♥ TO FART Were I more quick-witted and even more of a grouch than I am I could have let loose with any of a hundred different insulting retorts, but I held my tongue, which seemed the right thing to do. Today it is a mortal sin not to have A SENSE OF HUMOR. Hence hack pols must tell "jokes" for which with any justice they'll cringe the rest of their lives. Hence I suspect more mourners tell jokes at funerals than ever. Hence people wear t-shirts they imagine funny. Hence cretinous bumper stickers. Sometimes it may not be apt to be funny. What is more, your sense of humor may not be mine. And while jokes may not start wars it is best to be cautious where kindling lurks; and prudence need not be the same as PC. I'd like to think I have a sense of humor -- tempered by life, but still there. I believe this post among others shows it. At least it's not an idiotic bumper sticker.
Posted
12:15 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:58 AM
by Gene
![]() To what point are the hacks intentionally inundating us with Ashton and Bo and The Singer to avoid engaging in the nitty gritty on The Man They Love? Of course hacks would say they never do anything on purpose. Just one problem -- the industry always finds the wherewithal to do things on purpose. One wishes not to engage in psychobabble but what the industry actually does is perhaps but an expression of a collective unconscious of comatose minds. And happily, as GCI at $3.76 and SSP at $1.93 and MNI at FIFTY-SIX CENTS show, WE CAN DO THINGS ON PURPOSE BACK.
Posted
10:49 AM
by Gene
CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS & HUNTER THOMPSON BONDED IN BOOZE We were about to say if more hacks drank -- but then we'd get more of the DTs in print. Saturday, April 18, 2009
Posted
7:34 PM
by Gene
On the set of "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," despite his reputation as Hollywood's most faithful husband, Levy relates, Newman had an affair for a year and a half with a journalist who was writing a puff piece on the movie: " 'I finally said to myself, 'I can do better than this,' she remembered. 'I told him, 'You're always drunk, and you can't even make love.' I ended it." SECOND: DORIS Day is alive and well in California, despite a tabloid report headlined: "Doris Day Tragedy: She's losing her memory & voice." In a note to Parade.com's Jeanne Wolf, the movie legend, 87, wrote, "Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! I'm fine. No, I'm great." Day guesses the story was based on the annual Monterey radio show she did earlier this month with call-ins from Tony Bennett, Charles Osgood, Chris Botti and Lesley Stahl. "I had a frog in my throat," Day admits. "My message is just be kind to your animals . . . and don't worry about me. Oh, yes, don't buy the tabloids either! With love always." Somehow, I think they go together.
Posted
7:22 PM
by Gene
Pfffffffffffffffffffffffft! Cleveland scored 14 times all told in the [2nd] – the worst inning in the Yankees' 106-year history.... Couldn'ta done it without $1.5 BILLION!
Posted
7:16 PM
by Gene
Posted
7:01 PM
by Gene
A COMPANY THAT'S STILL WORTH $566 a SHARE LESS THAN OVER FOUR YEARS AGO.
Posted
4:43 PM
by Gene
Moreover I mentioned a few weeks back that a story on a leading news organization's Web site not only vanished from the site, but for my quote it vanished from the Web.* God knows how much of our Internet morgue no longer exists. Certain it is that untold dead links have rendered too many of my posts incomprehensible. It isn't just the Web's problem of course; vast quantities of our media history are lost, owing to shriveled nitrate stock (silent movies) or smashed transcription discs (network radio) or trashed kinescopes and erased video tapes (network television) On the Web we have lost far more collectively and far less of worth. This does not make it any less dismaying that not only will our age come to be remembered for nothings, but there will be so little of the nothings to remember it by -- assuming anyone would want to remember it. *As it happens I was wrong; I posted a generic URL. That story, by Michael S. Malone, is here, and still worth reading, though time has contradicted its conclusion. P. S. See also THIS UNPRECEDENTED IDIOCY FROM THE TWXSTERS. (A definitive comment here.)
Posted
2:31 PM
by Gene
![]() Meantime Nukeman and his Swampmen proclaim: "Iran's armed forces are the guarantor of security in the region." Especially so after it...never mind.
Posted
2:20 PM
by Gene
What's it to you? People on your side should want an irrelevant, Balkanized rump -- for your side to stay in power forever. Before you think that, however, think MEXICO. Think CUBA. By seating Franken, Pawlenty could do just that. An irrelevant, Balkanized rump, seating a Democrat -- WE CAN'T LOSE! We are dangerously close to accusing the editors of TNR of living in their own "gated community" but will not do so, out of respect for its long and distinguished reputation.
Posted
2:04 PM
by Gene
![]() We are sorry to learn that Stephen A. Smith, who showed such DEAFENING promise as a FRED FLINTSTONE OF SPORT and all-around megalomaniac, has essentially been shown the door by ESPNCORP, meaning in this depr -- economy perhaps even the big boys who scream a lot may have their salaries trimmed. (Via the usual Romy)
Posted
1:42 PM
by Gene
![]() And in fairness to The One, their encounter was "very short", but then this is the ASSPRESS, which can play with the clock when it wants to. Friday, April 17, 2009
Posted
7:31 PM
by Gene
Paper companies may claim about $6.6 billion from a U.S. tax break meant to discourage use of fossil fuels, and they’ll burn more diesel to get it.
Posted
6:06 PM
by Gene
If Sandy "ANGELO" Dodd deserves it, anyone deserves it!
Posted
5:20 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:57 PM
by Gene
And con-SER-va-tives who delude themselves into thinking this is Jimmy Carter Redux had better steel themselves up for a good dose of Nixon. And this Nixon may not need an enemies list to manifest the same effect.
Posted
3:34 PM
by Gene
Why there aren't as many slasher-movie ads in the paper [Romy's link] I don't believe Mogul's Friend would have written that, for his business is always right, even when it does wrong. (Or especially.)
Posted
3:29 PM
by Gene
Rush Limbaugh put it eloquently today when he warned.... What is the difference? There is no difference. It's a hack telling me to buzz off. He's going to dictate the truth and if it isn't the truth -- to hell with the truth. It's a sentence designed to make the discerning reader stop reading. As it happens Dahlia is very liberal, just as anyone writing that second sentence would have to be very conservative. I will repeat: I grow ever more exasperated with the Web's gated communities and their vacuum-sealed thinking. And I take their increasing insults personally.
Posted
11:50 AM
by Gene
(Via Amspec, which proves a bad story can hurt the linker and the linked)
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