Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

Today that pile of inferior paper towels called Metro gusted that "some" believe our current edition of Seligist mercenaries is THE BEST EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This made us realize there's no difference between sports typists and movee revuers. Both get paid for flacking; both effuse and scorn pretentiously. Alas while it appears THE BOOMING ECONOMY!!!!!!!!!! has put an end to the media biz' comeuppance, we would say that such boasts have a way of spitting back in the boasters' faces.

The third-rate multi-purpose wipes also reminded us that our state legislators are mourning because they "can't get anything done." This is the classic no-win situation. If they do nothing they still get amply rewarded for their sloth; when they do something it's what their inferiors the constituents may not want them to do. Besides many will have ample time to feel sorry for themselves as lobbyists, and in the House, the Senate, the cabinet, and perhaps the White House, and for that we don't feel the least sorry for them.

Posted 6:04 PM by Gene

Chet Simmons, the founder of ABC Sports and its veritable successor ESPN, has died. Without knowing much of him we can say by starting these two behemoths he had more impact than any other TV executive ever had on sport. In that he personifies good and bad -- the good being his outlets greatly professionalized and improved its TV coverage, the bad in that his and others' creations came to overwhelm the sports they cover, although that owes to many other things, not least cable. Couch potatoes everywhere owe a great debt to the man even as they've expanded their waistlines.

(Via the Crainiacs)

Posted 8:58 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Paywall is just another word for irrelevant.

We've lived without SLIME's rags before, and will do so again. When does the inevitable denouement occur?

Posted 9:48 PM by Gene

The problem with the Web is that....

Obama supports Israel. Period.

Posted 5:24 PM by Gene

A leading cardinal on Thursday told reporters that the scandal was "a conspiracy" against the church.

"This is a pretext for attacking the church," Cardinal Jose Saraiva Martins said. "There is a well-organized plan with a very clear aim," he said.

Are pedophiles that well organized?

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: David "Waterloo" Frum is going left, meaning he's hired himself out to JonBoy or LIAR LIAR BROCK'S ON FIRE!

Why must the world stop with every utterance of the overrated pundits?

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

Half of U.S. Home Loan Modifications Default Again

So why, Your Omnipotence, must we burn more money?

P. S. The Dow was UP 120!!!!!!!!!! and ended up 5, meaning not all Wall Street fairy tales have a happy ending.

Posted 12:40 PM by Gene

At the Vatican, keep your eyes on little things.

Last Friday, the Vatican offered a concert for the pope on his name day (St. Joseph). In a show of solidarity the pope invited his older brother, Georg, who has been touched by the abuse scandal.

Monsignor Georg Ratzinger admitted he slapped children years ago when he led a renowned choir in Regensburg, Germany.

The pope made brief remarks on faith and the beauty of music, but again without referring to developments in Germany.

Was even John Paul II in his last days ever this dense?

And who wants to start wagering the current pope resigns?

Posted 11:08 AM by Gene

Gas up $1 a gallon on Obama's watch [BOOOOO! HISSSSS! overemphasis added]

And we're in a PERMANENT BULL MARKET! So there!

(Via EM)

Posted 10:52 AM by Gene

In our great city of Philthydelphia and its environs:

One in eight full-time employees in the city and its four suburban Pennsylvania counties works for a nonprofit organization. In all, that’s 242,000 people.

We're guessing it's one in two in the city. And that's not counting government. And in more good news:

Of the hospitals, schools, museums and other “public charity” organizations that filed tax returns, more than one-third ran an operating deficit in 2007. The red ink was worse among a narrower subgroup that excludes hospitals and higher education - 36 percent had deficits.

Meaning the taxpayer benefits in two ways!

And in other heartwarming news it seems our rep as a HIP! HOT! town is endangered by marauding thugs. But hey, so long as they have the HIP! HOT! technology!

AND our population's going up -- meaning we must be attracting a lot of those thugs!



And in somewhat more charming Philthydelphia news, our city has pioneered in keeping trees warm. We confess we do like a little of this whimsy every now and then.

Posted 10:09 AM by Gene

Six of one: Scum threatening Congresspeople.

Half-a-dozen of the other: News hacks secretly hoping it continues.

Posted 10:06 AM by Gene

What is the "legacy" of At the Movies? That two schlubs could become zillionaires by raving most of the movies they saw for synergy's sake? If that's its "legacy" we needn't wonder why movie revuing is a corpse.

Goodbye, Gene-'n'-Rogerdom -- and good riddance.

Posted 9:47 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: MORE SENSATIONAL NON-BUSINESS STORIES AND SENSATIONAL STUPID HEDS FROM HENRY HONEST!!!!!!!!!!

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 9:40 AM by Gene

New claims for unemployment benefits fell more than expected last week as layoffs ease and hiring slowly recovers.

The Labor Department said Thursday that first-time claims for jobless benefits dropped by 14,000 to a seasonally adjusted 442,000. That's below analysts' estimates of 450,000, according to Thomson Reuters.
Article Controls

But most of the drop resulted from a change in the calculations the department makes to seasonally adjust the data, a Labor Department analyst said. The department updates its methods every year. Excluding the effect of those adjustments, claims would have fallen by only 4,000.

DOW 200,000!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 1:41 PM by Gene

The Paper of Re-CORD thinks it can make up for this with a LONG story stating the obvious: that golf has evolved into a caste system; that the game is dull, that most of its players are dull, that it was an excuse for idiot real-estate speculation, that until the CADILLAC it was a dream for CEOs and their hangers-on. And no one should think it can't come back, though God knows it doesn't deserve to.

(Via HENRY HONEST!!!!!!!!!!)

Posted 1:11 PM by Gene

“Senator, my opinion is that the decision was justified,” he said. “Were it my decision to make, I would not have made that decision. So I think, that is to say that — no.”

But it WAS justified -- the thing won the Peeeeeeeeee-Ulitzer Prize!

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:53 AM by Gene

One of the ratings agencies downgrades Portugal's debt, and...

Analysts, meanwhile, said that while the downgrade wasn't good news, Portugal still is in better shape than Greece.

TRANSLATION: The drunk standing up is in better shape than the drunk lying in the gutter.

DOW 100,000!!!!!

(Via Reuters)

Posted 8:23 AM by Gene

Let's see how much the rabble hates the Wall Street Casino when the Dow reaches 15,000!!!!! PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!

Where's your trickle-down gag, GEKKO KUDLOW?

Posted 8:22 AM by Gene

Four months later, perhaps the first decent article about TGSM.

Posted 7:59 PM by Gene

Which raises the question: With the business dominated by EZRAS and millionaires nursing hangovers (pardon: they only get drunk metaphorically) will they ever bother to document the new health wonders as they occur? Can they report at ground level? Or will we get the usual intermittent loud static from a shorted-out wobbling satellite whose camera in any case was blinded by space junk?

Posted 6:49 PM by Gene

The six- and seven-digit hacks are plainly back to their halo gag and intend to keep it up for a while. We should remember, however, that popularity does not make for a great president. Look at Ike. Look at Slick. Nor does unpopularity make for a bad one. Look at Lincoln. Look at Truman.

And though the days of incompetence now exist in a rapidly receding past we should assure our superiors bloviating away in their luxury news suites that unpopularity does not necessarily make for a great president.

Posted 9:58 AM by Gene

Your mobile phone is not a megaphone, so don't shout. Be aware of your surroundings and try not to use your phone in situations where your conversation may disturb others. Be aware that your voice will distract a peaceful train carriage of newspaper-reading commuters or seem intrusive on a crowded bus. Intimate conversations are never appropriate in front of others. Equally, don't use foul language, have full-blooded rows, or talk about money, sex or bodily functions in front of witnesses. Try and respect your own - and other people's - privacy. There are certain places where it is unacceptable to use your phone: for example, art galleries, churches, libraries, hospitals. Respect the rules.

TRANSLATION: Most people should not own cell phones.

Posted 9:51 AM by Gene

And how in God's name did EZRA KLEIN become indispensable?

Posted 9:44 AM by Gene

Now this seems smarter: PEOPLE WARNER just got $7.4 million from the suckers of Quebec so DC COMICS PICTURES could open a videogame studio in Montréal.

$1,492,600,000 to go!

(Via the WAX)

Posted 9:39 AM by Gene

A day after HISTORY!!!!!, a day after AMERICA CHANGED FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!, this is the allegedly "most popular" story on USAOKAY.com:

U.S. Olympic snowboard 'jeans' pants going on sale for $250

Posted 9:32 AM by Gene

I don't know which is more irritating: the army of JONATHANS in Nirvana or the army of PILLHEAD'S ACCENTS as Cassandras. Where did they get this notion they're indispensable?

Posted 9:28 AM by Gene

PEOPLE WARNER may spend $1.5 BILLION on United Artists so it can put Leo the Lion on its MGM home videos. While we applaud the sentiment of the thing it is just another proof of Jeff Bew-KES's stupidity.

Posted 5:58 PM by Gene

I am convinced one thing that started the slow decline in network television was the way the Fred Silverfish bean counters played with the theme songs in the sixties; it was their equivalent of the bugs and the snipes, and the audience knew it was being tampered with. For evidence we have no further to look than those two superb numbers "Cousins" (Patty Duke's theme) and the immortal "Smile! You're on Candid Camera!". Everyone must recall their jazzy lusty arrangements (I mean that in the old sense, but a little as well in the new). Then the creators changed them to something much less appealing; remember Patty Rock? Allen Funt changed his show's twice in two years. Both shows died quickly. We can lament that a good theme song isn't possible anymore, especially when the themes were frequently the only good part of many series (witness The Jetsons). With their dubious use of photography double-exposed and hidden the notion applied to these two shows more than most, but that their songs have so long survived them, that they can invoke happiness even today, is not at all astonishing; they were mini-courses in music appreciation.

I mention this for two reasons: first Sid Ramin wrote both; he was a childhood friend and lifelong associate of Leonard Bernstein's (and easily confused with Irwin Kostal, who also worked with Lenny and with Ramin); and second yesterday I found a site with three separate high-quality 320K downloads of the Candid Camera theme, an amazement as nearly every fifth-rate site devoted to TV themes as they almost all are has the same version from one of the late unlamented TVT Records's junk anthologies -- straight from a video soundtrack and overlaid with laughter. I've listened to this at least 200 times and expect to play it another 10,000. (This site also has three tracks of the allegedly missing 1970 theme music from The Hollywood Squares, something like fifty takes of the mentally-challenged cues from the original Family Feud, and -- I'm still downloading.)

Posted 11:02 AM by Gene

The bond market is saying that it’s safer to lend to Warren Buffett than Barack Obama.

Two-year notes sold by the billionaire’s Berkshire Hathaway Inc. in February yield 3.5 basis points less than Treasuries of similar maturity, according to data compiled by Bloomberg. Procter & Gamble Co., Johnson & Johnson and Lowe’s Cos. debt also traded at lower yields in recent weeks, a situation former Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. chief fixed-income strategist Jack Malvey calls an “exceedingly rare” event in the history of the bond market....

“It’s a slap upside the head of the government,” said Mitchell Stapley, the chief fixed-income officer in Grand Rapids, Michigan, at Fifth Third Asset Management, which oversees $22 billion. “It could be the moment where hopefully you realize that risk is beginning to creep into your credit profile and the costs associated with that can be pretty scary.”

GOD FOR PRE -- oh wait, we already have one.

Posted 10:25 AM by Gene

It becomes ever more obvious the Catholic Church chose the wrong pope, but who'd have thought he'd be tripped up by sex-abuse problems?

Or perhaps given the Church these days, who wouldn't have thought it?

Posted 10:22 AM by Gene

I know Finviz doesn't have that big an audience but it's big enough, so I'm wondering if anyone's noticed in the "Top Insider Trading" box the dollar amounts for the selling are far greater than for the buying; it's been this way for some time. Why would this happen if everything's so hunky-dory?

Posted 10:10 AM by Gene

Repeal is a daydream without a substitute. Do the BANEHEADS have one? That makes it a daydream.

They also forget the old saw: time wounds all heels.

Posted 10:06 AM by Gene

We don't want to liken Bart Stupak to Neville Chamberlain but they do have a piece of paper in common.

Posted 10:00 AM by Gene

A further problem with deciphering the news is that the increasingly rare insights come in places you wouldn't expect to turn because they're so encrusted with politics, and so you never turn to them. It further helps that the leading Web sites do all in their power to obscure them with tiresome scrolling and user-friendly layouts. We would hardly expect this from a liberal Web site and are annoyed we had to find it through NRO, but the fact that such an article exists says maybe HISTORY won't be all it's cracked up to be.

And no she doesn't offer a solution -- but that makes one wonder whether there is a solution, HISTORY notwithstanding.

Posted 9:57 AM by Gene

Oh and before you remind yourself that YOU WON THE NOBEL PRIZE, Your Omnipotence, there's still the tiny question of...foreign policy.

Posted 9:45 AM by Gene

Cable TV is not doomed. Somehow, some way, the tyrannies that control the programming will be in charge twenty years hence. We would remind people, for instance, that PEOPLE WARNER traces its antecedents almost to the turn of the last century, and the telco business dates back from before then. Inevitably it becomes a question of how much we'll pay, which will be too much if we don't demand the same virtually free access to video we now have to news and music.

And no, lots of little people with cameras will not mean high-quality shows. It will just mean YouTube in hi-def.

Posted 9:44 AM by Gene

Nevertheless, the notion of creating a new entitlement at a time of record-setting federal deficits infuriated opponents, whose relentless, hyperbolic attacks would have scuttled it had Obama not kept up the pressure to pass it.

We're not sure A BANKRUPT MEDIA COMPANY BROUGHT DOWN BY IDIOT DEBT is in a position to say that.

Posted 9:38 AM by Gene

Meantime the hacks give us another reason to trust them:

TIFFANY 4Q PROFIT RISES AS SALES REGAIN SPARKLE!!!!! [Sparkling overemphasis added]

Sparkling Tiffany is down 4.5 percent because it wasn't sparkling enough.

Posted 9:36 AM by Gene

One reason it has become a pestilence following the news is that when stories like these arise we're trying to predict history when we can't predict what we'll have for lunch. The easy thing is to say it won't be that good and it won't be that bad, but we can't be sure about those things because our first-rough-drafters of history never follow up. What happened to Dubya's prescription drug giveaway? Both sides agree: We'll find out if this works later -- and possibly too late.

Posted 9:29 AM by Gene

One thing's clear: the GOP can't come back so long as BANEHEAD is its House "leader".

Posted 9:27 AM by Gene

Meantime HISTORY!!!!! may have taken care of HISTORY'S GREATEST PRESIDENT doing any more to solve the economy. The economy? What's an economy? (HUGE caveat: HENRY HONEST!!!!!!!!!!)

Posted 9:22 AM by Gene

And yes, it is quite true we could have Democrats NOW AND FOREVER, but this may also be true:

In the run-up to the 2006 Congressional elections, Halperin predicted that George W. Bush would be "back over 53% any day now" and warned "If I were them [Democrats], I'd be scared to death about November's elections". ^[8] In fact, the Democrats regained control of both houses of Congress and George W. Bush's approval rating remained in the 30s.^[9]

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

And count on our superiors the HACKS to do their part, even though it means we must quote from the seven-digit fraud Howie Hairshirt:

Trudy Lieberman, a longtime specialist in health reporting, offers a harsh verdict in the current issue of Columbia Journalism Review. She says the press coverage "has been largely incoherent to the man on the street . . . failed to illuminate the crucial issues, [and] quoted special interest groups and politicians without giving consumers enough information to judge if their claims were fact or fiction."

Yes, but we made HISTORY!!!!!

Posted 9:18 AM by Gene

Our one solace to HISTORY!!!!! is that Dubya screwed up things so much, what's History's Greatest President to screw it up some more?

Posted 6:13 PM by Gene

This is astonishing: some Russians don't like Belly Kisser...and are willing to say so?

Perhaps there's hope even for that nation yet.

Posted 6:05 PM by Gene

If only David Gergle Jr. weren't such a dweeb because he's on to something. First came the solid left hook of "rights" without end, then the stiff right cross of greed without end, and now America's down for the count. In the end Gergle grasps at straws; he proposes we replace our present dysfunction with "community", hard to perceive when the Web makes us more self-centered and alone than ever.

Posted 8:42 AM by Gene

GEN. LEAK TWO-FACE is at is again:

Former U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell said new sanctions on Iran to persuade it to stop enriching uranium won’t work because the Islamic republic is “determined to have a nuclear program.”

“I don’t see a set of sanctions coming along that would be so detrimental to the Iranians that they are going to stop that program,” Powell said in an interview with Bloomberg special contributor Judy Woodruff. “So ultimately, the solution has to be a negotiated one.”

Like the last five years of negotiations!

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



Will the world really benefit from high-end doctors' offices?

Whadya think, Speaker Babs!

Posted 3:01 PM by Gene

Okay guy, we get the message: Conservatives are Nazis, and you won something called a Murrow Award. You're just another BECKOLBERMANN with a pedigree. Get LOST.

Posted 2:47 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Al Franken's taken the humor out of "humorist" and is now just an ist.

(Via MICHAEL!!!!!!!!!!)

Posted 11:05 AM by Gene

We scream too much. Whatever happened to stoicism? There are times when you can't help getting angry but some people seem to be angry all the time -- and they seem to be proud of it. They have (in the stupid parlance of our time) "issues."

So do the people who must make obscene phone calls to the likes of Bart Stupak and his family. They definitely have -- "issues."

(First link via Vulture; second link via WeeklyStandard.com)

Posted 1:54 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Reading public opinion polls GE BANCORP, an INTERNATIONAL bank, is trying to prove it's not entirely "DEMOCRAT".

Wait Slightly Bigger Very Little Jeffy -- aren't you selling Your Most Important Media Product to BRIAN ROBBER?

Under chief executive Ralph J. Cortiner, a pioneer in decentralization, GE had 139 plants in 38 states....

How many is it now? Six in three states?

Posted 9:56 AM by Gene

Don't tell me THE GREATEST NETWORK IN THE HISTORY OF CIVILIZATION is a victim of THE CURSE OF CRITICAL ACCLAIM?!?

Posted 9:53 AM by Gene

When someone like JPOD says something is "SCREAMINGLY FUNNY!!!!!", we can be sure it isn't. And besides, I think he's pulled that gag before.

Posted 8:48 AM by Gene

Hey BRIAN ROBBER! We have an idea! Raise your rates so you can make MORE MONEY-LOSING ROTTEN MOVEES!

Posted 8:40 AM by Gene

...his debacle-filled tenure....

Attorney General and Chief Social Engineer Effete Q. Snob? THAT MENSA man?

Posted 8:33 AM by Gene

In a happily down year The American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers nonetheless does its patriotic duty:

Kantar also measured "branded entertainment," determining that product brands appeared by name or logo on screen for 10 minutes and 12 seconds per hour during primetime broadcast network programming in 2009. That's up from 9 minutes and 8 seconds per hour in 2008.

Kantar, though, does not distinguish between product placement that is paid for and brands that appear in shows for free.

When commercials are added into the mix, brand names and logos appear on screen on broadcast networks during primetime for 24 minutes and 16 seconds each hour.

So THAT's why TV viewing is up!

Incidentally, it says here SLIME and the moron MR. BEWKES are among the top-10 advertisers, meaning they're selling a lot of their extrusions.

Posted 8:18 AM by Gene

FORBESLIST.com home-pages a story saying we're having a "credit contraction"!

What happened to DOW 13,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Posted 6:42 PM by Gene

White House says healthcare vote will be transparent regardless of tactics

Posted 6:28 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: The Greek crisis isn't over quite yet; fortunately the same people who went bonkers with ratings have told another fairy tale which will cause the Wall Street Casino to speculate happily ever after.

Posted 6:23 PM by Gene

Speaking of con-SER-va-tives I learned to my great annoyance today that the Verizon subsidiary that provides my internet service is ending it next month for no reason. The best way of knowing why con-SER-va-tives are full of it on the economy is to track down an ISP, or a cable company.

Posted 6:18 PM by Gene

Meantime while the idiot hacks concentrate on their upcoming profit center with a fervor not seen since the death of that cow impersonator they can ignore stories like this astonishing theft of tens of millions in prescription drugs from Eli Lilly. We won't begin to guess at a motive but obviously some drugs are overpriced enough to make it extremely profitable.

Hey YOUR OMNIPOTENCE! Wanna make a speech in CONNECTICUT?

(Via USAOKAY.com)

Posted 5:58 PM by Gene

Today I mailed out my Census form. Some con-SER-va-tives have decided to protest the RACE question by identifying themselves as "American". This is a stupid gesture. Only clerks will see it and they'll roll their eyes. I don't like our government making race such a sticking point but it already knows too much (and not enough) about us; what's an irrelevant factoid like this?

One could make a case for privatizing the Census; but if a con-SER-va-tive wished to make an ASS of himself he'd propose Nielsen -- which should do as good a job guessing the population as it does guessing TV audiences from samples of thousands.

Posted 4:06 PM by Gene

Good-BYE, Sammy Glick...MAN, and we hope you SANG "Love and Marriage" for your farewell. It would make a good comedy video on the dangers of karaoke for YouTube.

Posted 2:34 PM by Gene

Fed Renews Pledge To Keep Rates Low for a Long Time

TRANSLATION: 1. This depr -- RECOVERY's going to last a while. 2. We get to finance DOW 13,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 12:40 PM by Gene

PVT. ZELL says "the market is not overbought"!

Contrarian indicator?

“Willie Sutton said it all when he was asked why he robs banks,” Zell said. “That’s where the money is. We’re in distressed debt because that’s where the value is.”

Hey PVT.! Why flatter yourself quoting Willie Sutton?

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 11:33 AM by Gene

It would be a sign of national mental health if we said, "Who cares?"



SUMNER's dancing a jig.

Posted 11:03 AM by Gene

And speaking of DOW 130,000:

GE May Resume Increases to Dividend in 2011, Finance Chief Says

After reducing it from 31 cents to 10! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 9:11 AM by Gene

Meantime a paper that's loudly putting up A WALL proclaims C-Span's putting all its video on the Web for free, which hints at a disconnect somewhere.

Posted 9:03 AM by Gene

"When you're named after the creator [of the networks] ... to the consumer, that's alphabet soup, it doesn't mean anything," he said.

With this bold insult to MOUTH FROM THE SOUTH some TWXSTER functionary has pretty well summed up the needlessness of most television -- and the worthlessness of "BRANDING".

Posted 8:58 AM by Gene

ESPNCORP's thinking of replacing some soap opera with a "news" show.

TRANSLATION: ESPNCORP's rearranging its network rubble.

Posted 8:51 AM by Gene

What's the difference between Speaker Babs and Tricky Dick?

Gosh darn if we know.

Posted 8:49 AM by Gene

ZILLIONS OF BUILDINGS GO UP IN CHINA!!!!!

SHANGHAI COMPOSITE 20,000!!!!!

Posted 8:39 AM by Gene

We are starting to wonder if G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE has a China strategy, but plainly it would not have landed in its mess if had not so naively proclaimed its superiority to the rest of its peers when in truth it shared their same leaky boat.

Posted 8:33 AM by Gene

It is too easy to opine on something like this awful chain of suicides at Cornell. A con-SER-va-tive could chuckle about how it's happening at a SUPERLIBERAL SCHOOL, but it's a bit more than that. Combine the lack of community at most ehdyukayshun faktorees with the lack of in loco parentis and the destruction of what was good about our old values, and the essential emptiness of much of hyer lurning, and you will have such dreadful occurrences.

Posted 8:31 AM by Gene

WE CONTINUE TO EXPECT THE DOW JONES INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE TO FINISH THE YEAR AT 13,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Wall-of-worry-scaled overemphasis added]

And then what, SUPERGEKKOS?

I repeat what I've said before: When do the GEKKO KUDLOWS sell us on trickle-down again -- or are they reluctant because it would help His Omnipotence?

Posted 5:42 PM by Gene

I have just come up with a fantastical prediction: Their itchy brains sorely tempted to top the odoriferous outrage of last year, who will the left-...RIGHT-thinking Swedes (or is that Norwegians) splat with their "Peace" Prize?

How about YAHWEH SPIELBERG!!!!!

And if that doesn't work there's always THE OTHER LORD GOD STEVE -- although He might take that as an insult.

Posted 1:13 PM by Gene

While the discord between Apple and Google is in part philosophical and involves enormous financial stakes, the battle also has deeply personal overtones and echoes the ego-fueled fisticuffs that have long characterized technology industry feuds. (Think Intel vs. A.M.D., Microsoft vs. everybody, and so on.)

And let us say again -- may BOTH sides lose!

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 12:51 PM by Gene

KKR and Warner Music eye break-up bid for EMI: report

TRANSLATION: JUNIOR is still vainly trying to recoup the zillions he stupidly lost.

(Report.)

Posted 12:33 PM by Gene

I will not repeat THE MASTER's line about patriotism -- I've used it too often -- but it seems apt now: Why do media types, who'd do everything they could to avoid serving in war, act so patriotically when confronted by a TV series on the network they love? We may ask if the arthouse flick no one saw also benefitted. Who has the guts to knock the true patriots fighting wars when we already have a bad-enough rep?

And as we know, the only true patriotism to media types is SYNERGY.

Posted 10:50 AM by Gene

To anyone out there paying attention: I have not forgotten my blog; I have no incentive to post. A little stomach problem has tortured my peace of mind, but even three years ago with an abscessed tooth I noted the futility of typing, and I've tired of being among the discarded shells in the peanut gallery. Most likely I will type on, but not with the obsession of before.

Posted 2:28 PM by Gene

We would like to do away with most political speeches -- they're bad before they even come from the mouth. But doing away with the State of the Union is a non-starter because it attracts a big TV audience, and for many this is the only chance to hear the president bloviate on public policy. Yes, the State of the Union has become a "political pep rally", and yes, we'd be happy to read it online, without the dramaturgy, but for better or worse it's the only commons the people have.

Posted 12:11 PM by Gene

In thinking of Merlin Olsen we think of Dick Enberg. We think of two of the nicest guys who ever graced an announcing booth. There ought to be no shame in being a nice guy like Merlin Olsen.

Posted 11:57 AM by Gene

Fleischer, who served as presidential press secretary from January 2001 to July 2003 before leaving for a career as a consultant, worked with McGwire after the disgraced slugger had gone into hiding following his embarrassing refusal to answer questions about his steroid use before a congressional committee in 2005.

Before his recent public admission to using steroids, necessitated in part by his return to the Cardinals as a hitting instructor, McGwire was advised by Fleischer.

The NFL and Major League Baseball also are among Fleischer’s high-profile clients. He advised the Packers in 2008 on how to deal with the fallout from their breakup with Brett Favre and he’s worked with college football’s BCS on how to repair an image that has been ridiculed.

With friends like...no, NO, that's TOO easy.

Posted 11:49 AM by Gene

NO COMMENT:

New York - Panasonic and Best Buy staged an elaborate send-off Wednesday at the retailer's Union Square outlet for the launch of Panasonic's first FullHD 3D TVs.

The event, which drew a media circus, included officials for Panasonic, Best Buy, and Panasonic's content partners DirecTV and Fox Home Entertainment. As an event capper, Best Buy completed the sale of the first Panasonic FullHD 3D plasma TV system to Brad and Ashley Katsuyama, a local couple who work in the financial industry.

(Via B&C)

Posted 10:40 AM by Gene

THE KING OF THE WORLD!!!!! rubs his hands and smacks his lips -- and loses whatever little he had of his sense:

Q: Should the existing film catalog be converted to 3D?

A: If it's done well. I think it should be driven by the artist. If Star Wars gets converted into 3D I think George (Lucas) should do it. If Terminator gets converted into 3D, I should do it.

Q: How about an older movie, such as [drumroll, please] The Wizard of Oz?

A: That gets into an interesting area. At that point the people that own the library have the right to do it, particularly if they own the rights to all media.

So let's 3D Casablanca! Or Citizen Kane! It'll make them much better! And remember, 3D won't ever "look like crap"!

MOUTH OF THE SOUTH! You have a soul mate in KING JIM!

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

AUTOMATIC WRITING, PART II: Someone could do a brilliant dissection of Hollywood's sudden desire to remake The Wizard of Oz, a property it's done only what, twenty-six times; but count on LALA not to be able to do it without bringing in PERFESSER THOMPSON, THE AUTOMATIC SOUND-BITE MACHINE, whose mere presence in a story renders it unreadable. Why can't some people do their own reporting for once?

Posted 8:28 AM by Gene

AUTOMATIC WRITING, PART I: What could be better to a FORBESLISTER than a man who's on the Billionaires' List -- who makes MOVIES?!?!?



A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO KEREN!

Posted 5:49 PM by Gene

I have not posted much these last few days in part because I've had little to say, and because G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE has played its patented algorithmic mind games on me, and there's nothing I can do. I've adjusted the archives to weekly to try to counter this -- I may move them back to monthly -- and also because lots of my posts are missing in the monthly views. The Fort Knox in Mountain View clearly does not give two hoots about that pile of third-hand servers, in part because it hasn't been able to "monetize" them, except with stupidly inappropriate ads popping up in all the wrong places.

Posted 11:00 AM by Gene

The lunacy of 3D TV, in a nutshell:

There is no denying that 3D is here to stay. It’s the only viable option manufacturers have to get consumers to upgrade from their just-purchased HDTV. But it might be wise to sit on the sidelines for the first couple of rounds until the TV makers get some standards hammered out. You just saw Avatar in 3D anyway and soccer is probably just as boring in 3D as it is is in 2D.

P. S. To which a commenter responds:

soccer is not boring, you fool [SIC]

That person's ready for 3D!

Posted 9:01 AM by Gene

What do professors banning laptops and ac-TORS bemoaning Botox have in common? That society can carry gee-whiz science too far.

Posted 6:01 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: NATE!!!!! is turning into the DR. DOOM of pollsters, and we've had enough of both.

Posted 5:40 PM by Gene

Okay PAUL DRECK, you can get off your desk now:

[ESPNCORP] also said that its "reach" number, or the number of viewers that tuned in for at least six minutes of the Oscars, was 70 million. That compares with last year's 68 million.

This is embarrassing -- Nielsen whispers a nice numerical fairy tale in ESPNCORP's ear and it STILL has to make up stats -- and the made-up stats aren't that impressive! Hmmm.

[T]he Oscars didn't get the kind of numbers they usually get when an immensely popular film is in the mix.

Maybe because the numbers aren't showing up at the popcorn restaurants anymore.

And of course double-counting NEVER hurts!

Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

Say! That League of Nations Court can prosecute BLASPHEMY now too!

Posted 4:50 PM by Gene

We had to post something, so -- we post from ARCHDaily!



First place in a design competition goes to -- TINKERTOYS!



Somebody calls this "SGLight House". How about "AAAAARGH!!!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!! HOUSE"?



And who'd have guessed this one? The League of Nations Court in the Hague! Where someday the WORLD will punish the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL of AMERICA -- and ISRAEL, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

And judging from the size of the thing it'll take a lot of people power to do it.

Posted 12:04 AM by Gene

Well, I stayed up late tonight via chat boards to witness 1. The lowest grossing picture ever winning the Os-CAR® -- adjusted for inflation too, I'd guess -- and 2. That 10-nominee stunt trashed by the very people who created it. What's more 3D may be the future of fillum but it's not the future of awards.

What a joke! What an irrelevance!

Posted 9:35 PM by Gene

I've come up with another reason why CGI in 3D and animated actors are permanent: 1. The actors don't age; and 2. Given how rotten real ac-TORS look in digital media better the electronic kind.

Posted 4:14 PM by Gene

Indeed people like MICHAEL!!!!! and TINA!!!!! and HENRY HONEST!!!!! are so enamored of trivia, and people like the ASSPress dimwits are so enamored of PR, we can easily overlook stories like this, about how our GUVMENT is subsidizing "American" companies who are subsidizing the Holocaust deniers in Iran, or like this, where we learn the Pakistanis (who are looking better every day) have captured that "American" spokesman for the holy cockroaches. This tells me if MICHAEL!!!!! and TINA!!!!! and HENRY HONEST!!!!! and their Web sites went away and the ASSPress fired the likes of, say, JAKE!!!!!, it would be a public service.

Posted 12:47 PM by Gene

And it's not just PEOPLE WARNER, veritable fount of bloviation; the Web site of a rag that had a prestigious reputation wastes our time likewise. This reminds me rather definitively: no one talks of the recent GAMES anymore.

Posted 12:39 PM by Gene

Aside from the mind games G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE is playing with us we become increasingly discouraged in posting by the Web's voluminous blather and the time we must waste inspecting it. Some TWXSTER makes 901 words out of something worth less than one. It wearies us to have to confront so much filler, and we respond by increrasingly pondering a life without a computer.

Posted 3:08 PM by Gene

It's official: There's no future for movies that aren't theme parks. A simple story about a boy and a girl doesn't need bells and whistles. A movie that's about bells and whistles needs bells and whistles. Because the industry has become America's baby sitter and reaps a huge (and increasingly unjustified) premium for 3D, it no longer needs to make movies that aren't about bells and whistles, though as we've noted obsessively it stopped making movies for anyone above the age of three decades ago. We must nonetheless ask: When does boredom kick in? The dep -- recession can't entirely explain what happened to video games last year. Most likely the people we can no longer call retards will drive them back. But no business that likes to tout its universality can go on making displays of bells and whistles forever, unless it has a suicide pact with itself.

Posted 2:46 PM by Gene

1. We're not sure the WAXLADY should complain about the LALATimes using its front page for advertising. 2. What's the difference between this front-page ad and the likes of Mogul's Friend except the latter isn't slugged?

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 2:29 PM by Gene

1. We knew GE BANCORP NETWORK was in trouble BUT.... 2. Fixing that letter S might cost Z$100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000! (The OLD currency, blast it!)

Posted 2:02 PM by Gene

APPLE AT $210 AND IT STILL LOOKS CHEAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Priceless overemphasis added]

Okay Little Malc, when do WE get YOUR trickle-down effect?

Posted 1:54 PM by Gene

Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland (Disney) represents the confluence of a number of depressing cinematic trends: the need to ransack classic children's literature for ideas, the unimaginative layering of 3-D technology onto a visual universe that would look just fine without it, and the belief that slathering familiar storylines with a superficial gloss of Gothic "darkness" constitutes a substantial reinterpretation. [Emphasis added]

That loud rattling noise you hear is readers everywhere rolling their eyes.

Posted 11:23 AM by Gene

How disappointing that John McWhorter has fallen victim to the FORBESLIST listicle gag because he's put forth a gut-wrenching list of ten people who've helped bring down black America. How apt that most of them are white liberals.

Posted 10:54 AM by Gene

Whenever I see TINAS saying "WINGNUT!!!!!" why do I inevitably think they mean "conservative"? No, instead of engaging in cute politicking, let's call this guy for what he was: SCUM. There is NO LEFT OR RIGHT TO SCUM.

Posted 10:54 AM by Gene

DC COMICS PICTURES (New Line marque) is reviving POLICE ACADEMY!

Just when you think the business hasn't reached the dregs...it goes beneath them.

(We have to fix the logo; it's missing some shading. Chalk that up to our not knowing how to use Paint.net.)

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

1. The high-tech firm without SOBs doesn't exist, and 2. Mark will make his $800 megazillion on the IPO however shady he is.

Posted 8:25 AM by Gene

Federal employees earn higher average salaries than private-sector workers in more than eight out of 10 occupations, a USA TODAY analysis of federal data finds.

So why should anyone bother looking for a private-sector job anymore?

Posted 2:17 PM by Gene

27 arrested after Maryland’s victory over Duke

Now let's win the national championship!

Posted 1:57 PM by Gene

One of SLIME's hacks says FACEBOOK COULD BE WORTH "MORE THAN $100 BILLION BY 2015!!!!!!!!!!"

Which means, 1. Someone's trying to needle THE BOSS, or 2. Someone wants an in. To be sure the way the Wall Street Fantasyland works it could go to half a kazillion -- one of this hack's fellow publicists tosses the word "trillion" out in what she thinks is a joke, and it certainly is -- on the readers; but whatever the case, this smells of the usual business-reporting bull leavings, and The Wall Street JOURNALS haven't exactly covered themselves with glory here. How could they being owned by SLIME?

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 1:52 PM by Gene

Citigroup Inc. enjoys an implicit government guarantee without which it would be viewed as more risky, a key government watchdog told the company's chief executive Thursday.

How heartwarming! And how kind of Uncle Sam, too! Pffffffffffffffffffffft!

Posted 1:28 PM by Gene

Actually price transparency in health care does sound like a good idea -- which is why no one will endorse it.

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 11:49 AM by Gene

"IF YOU HAD ANY DOUBT, ANY DOUBT WHATSOEVER, THAT THE REPUBLICAN PARTY HAS BEEN TAKEN OVER BY THE FEAR-MONGERING LUNATIC FRINGE, THOSE DOUBTS WERE ERASED TODAY!!!!!!!!!!" [Doubt-free overemphasis added]

As we said before, A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR HOUSES!

Posted 10:43 AM by Gene

I guess Speaker Babs couldn't quite swallow the notion of FORTNEY "THE ATHEIST MADMAN" STARK!!!!!!!!!! running Ways and Means. This, for Democrats, is rare common sense.

P. S. The video is linked on WALTER WINCHELL JR.!!!!!!!!!! JR. (sorry), which may explain that "OUTRAGEOUS REMARKS!!!!!" gag. When your side screams of "OUTRAGEOUS REMARKS!!!!!" it keeps silent about its own -- and this is true on BOTH SIDES. Better just to view FORTNEYS as the ASSES they are, and not dignify them with partisan anger.

Posted 10:39 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Ahtists have gone from throwing political tantrums to just being untalented.

Posted 10:35 AM by Gene

A shame Ellen Goodman has retired; she could present this "female Captain Bligh" as a "hero".

Posted 10:12 AM by Gene

Oops:

Rupert Murdoch, who may have spent the equivalent of the projected earnings of News Corp.’s hit movie “Avatar” to settle lawsuits against his supermarket-coupon unit, risks losing millions more at a trial over alleged anticompetitive behavior by the same business.

This is what media writers call GENIUS.

(Via IWantMedia)

Posted 2:49 PM by Gene

Daly publishes writer's phone number

Er, BOOM BOOM BOOM, you don't suppose this might be counterproductive, do you?

(Via MICHAEL; the delicious story that prompted this here. "Eventually, his personnel file at the PGA Tour swelled to 456 pages, with incidents covering 18 years, through the fall of 2008." That could make a great comic novel!)

Posted 2:17 PM by Gene

Two self-congratulatory pieces (one from the PC cheerleader Mogul's Friend) on that dark thing in show-biz again. We would only note in rebuttal that THE BEST PIC-TYURE OS-CAR® FAVORITE has done $13 million in business, or about TWO PERCENT DOMESTICALLY of the movee that put its maker SLIME to sleep; and we would challenge even the most rabid show queen to point to the last time a Branson East tune made the top-10 pop charts. The problem with going dark is that eventually you could fade to black. Movees and musicals are on their way.

(Via AHTSJournal, which quite often deserves to fade to black too)

Posted 11:32 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: The Congressional Democrats have decided to go for ritual hara-kiri after all.

Posted 10:40 AM by Gene

Google News for "tax increase" -- 56,492 links. Google News for "tax reduction" -- 16,749 links.

It's imperfect but do I smell something?

Posted 10:16 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: 1. WOODSTER THE PERV is in virtual exile, thanks to the fact that even Hollywood's money burners could no longer find the right excuse to finance his ruminations on Wittgenstein. 2. WOODSTER THE PERV has a new girlfriend.

Posted 10:07 AM by Gene

NO, FitzJen, KAPLAN, INC. would NOT instantly double in value if its WAPOST DIVISION disappeared. Au contraire, it seems investors have fully valued its education unit and justly think the WAPOST DIVISION worth close to ZERO. This kind of brazen innumeracy explains ALL-TIME BOX OFFICE RECORDS!!!!!, ENORMOUS RATINGS!!!!! for Jut-Jaw, and other such jokes.

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 8:42 AM by Gene

Well, if there's a fire (hint hint), people can punch holes through the ad -- or maybe it will burn up so quickly as to flutter harmlessly to the ground, or something.

We're only surprised LOWSY MAYS or ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN didn't think this up before.

“I would say 70-80 percent of the ads on illegal billboards in Los Angeles are for movies and TV shows. In fact, it might even be higher than that,” said Dennis Hathaway, president of the Coalition to Ban the Billboard Blight.

TRANSLATION: The MOVEE excreters, not content to put their eyesores in popcorn restaurants, must make them as public as possible.

Posted 8:33 AM by Gene

Yeah Politico, just what we need -- another Texan in the White House. Weren't the last two bad enough?

Posted 8:27 AM by Gene

Shucks, CHOLLY's Life of Riley is about to come to an "inglorious" conclusion.

Well, there's always the Dominican Republic.

Posted 7:02 PM by Gene

The Web site of the state-owned Global Times invited people to vote in an informal survey, and got a big majority -- 80 percent of a sample of 4,448 respondents -- in favor of Chinese efforts to become the world's top military power.

The respondents were split (52 percent in favor, 48 percent against) on whether the quest for such an ambitious goal should be expressed in public.

1. I guess they've heard of Toyota too! 2. And they put out a lot of defective merchandise!

Posted 6:50 PM by Gene

OooooOOOOOoooooh, because he campaigned for an Os-CAR® by e-mail, one of the producers of the $13-million-B. O.-smash masterpiece that's the favorite won't be allowed to attend the award show!

Now why couldn't the ACADEMY® have done something like that before? We could think of a few worthies.

Posted 6:42 PM by Gene

This isn't the place to make an electioneering spiel--I don't want to be a test case of campaign finance law if I can help it.

Hey Mick! You keep it up and that Web site of yours should grant your opponent equal time!

How about it, ST. WARREN?

Posted 6:37 PM by Gene

Gov. Sanford didn't quit! Gov. Gibbons didn't quit! Why should I have to quit?

And I'm better than they are! I'm a Democrat!

Posted 3:43 PM by Gene

We're not going to defend Beanball Bunning and his political tone-deafness; but we would say his ten-thumbed anger makes it clear at some point we've got to spend less money, however politically inconvenient it is, and too many go into the whiny crybaby default mode at the prospect.

Posted 2:17 PM by Gene

Sorry Team Conan, Jay Leno’s Re-Premiere Ratings Are ENORMOUS!!!!!!!!!! [ENORMOUS overemphasis added]

5.4 percent of households with TVs. 2.0 percent of the dummy demo. ENORMOUS!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 1:35 PM by Gene

"(Graffiti) impacts how people feel about the way they live," said Montes, in Avondale. "They feel insecure. It makes people feel unsafe, that they've been violated."

Even though it's art?

Posted 9:21 AM by Gene

Mickey Kaus is running for the Senate.

Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

P. S. THE BLOG POST OF THE CENTURY:

The Epistemology of Kausfiles

14 Oct 2007 04:48 pm

Mickey Kaus' long post here about John Edwards' alleged affair with Rielle Hunter is almost self-refuting. Basically, we have an anonymous source saying Hunter said she had an affair with Edwards, versus Hunter, on the record, saying that's not the case. Then there's Edwards, also saying it's not the case. But Kaus initially deems Edwards' denial too vague and non-specific. But then:

Update: The AP has Edwards adding "It's completely untrue, ridiculous" and saying the story was "made up." By the Enquirer? Or by one of the people the Enquirer cites? Either way, it's a direct attack on the integrity of someone (not necessarily a smart move for a politician in Edwards' position). ...

[Banging my head against the wall] Basically what we have here is that if we assume the anonymous hearsay is true and the on-the-record first-hand denial is false, then Edwards is either mishandling the story by denying it too vaguely ("the story is false") or else is mishandling it by denying it too directly ("made up") but what if the story's not true? No doubt by now we've had all the legitimate news organizations in the country looking into it and it seems that . . . nobody can come up with any evidence. As we saw with Scott Beauchamp, and the fake John Kerry intern affair story, if you just operate from within an assumption of guilt it's very hard for someone to prove his innocence but that's why we . . . don't operate with an assumption of guilt! [Emphasis and Politico.com link added]

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!

(Via -- oh well -- NRO)

Posted 9:04 AM by Gene

Rare outspoken reform call from China state media

TRANSLATION: The Central Committee's up to something.

Posted 8:22 AM by Gene

"I'm Jay Leno, your host. At least, for a while."

Yep, those lines from those New York comedians would have been better.

Posted 7:54 PM by Gene

TGSM apologizes and the resort where he apologized goes bankrupt. Symbolic but very heavily so.

Posted 6:47 PM by Gene

As part of my continuing obsession with downloading (over 750 albums in two months! Although half are replacements for improving my hard drive -- thank you BUGMEISTERS for SyncToy and why didn't I use it before?) I've come across that peculiar pestilence the stag record. I submit stag records helped foment the sexual revolution because at heart they're so repressed and had the gall to pretend otherwise. Stag records had a Lillian Russell in Kay Martin -- a sexy dame with a sexless voice (think bored telephone operators) who sang "adult" versions of kiddie tunes. Listen to more than a few minutes of the female stag stars and the first word in your mind is "lush". The male "comedians" are worse. Were their jokes funny then? Someone in Vegas put on a whole musical show of these jokes for ages -- Laugh-In without sex appeal or any appeal. Variety raved it, meaning it could be bribed even then. And someone had to record it. (The rave's quoted on the back album cover.) Here's a typical circa-1970 laff riot:

MINISTER: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here this afternoon to join in holy matrimony (raucous middle-aged female audience cackling) these two... (more raucous middle-aged female audience cackling) these two, um...eh, hahahaha...excuse me, my children, I-I'm afraid there's a little problem here: I-I-I can't tell which of you is the man and which of you is the woman! I-I don't know -- well I'll tell you what: we'll settle this biologically. Which of you two has the menstrual cycle?

(After a pause and some more middle-aged female audience cackling)

GROOM: Well it must be her 'cause I got a Honda.

If Hefnerizing America did too much bad it did a lonesome good by obsoleting the stag record.

Posted 5:37 PM by Gene

Speaking further of scams (and this is the LAST time we will mention this -- we hope for a few months), the GE BANCORP COMMERCIAL REVUE ended on an appropriate note, and we hope a certain moribund comedian gets stung on the behind by one of his leftover bees from his botched movie.

P. S. at 6:28 p. m. The "Twitterverse" LOVES it. But hey! HENRY HONEST loved the GAMES! What does HE know? Right, Jeff Zuck? While you're at it Jeff, answer us this -- what's less than zero?

Posted 5:36 PM by Gene

A consumer group sued Anthem Blue Cross on Monday, accusing California's largest for-profit health insurer of violating state law by closing certain policies to new members while illegally offering remaining customers alternative plans with fewer benefits at higher rates.

Hey Anthem! You trying to revive health-care "reform"?

Posted 5:32 PM by Gene

Four California men were busted Monday for hacking into online ticket sellers like Ticketmaster and grabbing up 1.5 million prime seats for concerts and ball games - shutting out ordinary fans....

The scam worked so well that one of their associates sent an email worrying that "the general public may snap" and suggesting that the scammers commission a poll of ordinary ticket buyers to see "how much more they can handle." [Emphasis added]

Busted? They should be elected to Congress!

Posted 3:37 PM by Gene

For those who now emboldened to think up is forever in television, what has happened to this once great property should concentrate the mind. We will not rehash why Miss America fell to pieces, but at this stage there may be no more pieces to pick up.

P. S. at 6:20 p. m. Hey Frazier? Sam Haskell. Listen you think you could help us rustle up somebody to give us air time? And make sure you let them know interest is strong. Get it? STRONG. How the hell do I know who's interested? Who wants to watch mannequins parade nowadays?

Posted 12:13 PM by Gene

Speaking of jokes, Brandweek tells another of those soothing fairy tales to its readers, oozing how wonderful TV product placements are, and devoting only two negative grafs in the whole story, and the little kiddies can go off to bed and dream of puppy dogs. To be sure they blend well with "reality" shows, which are sixty-minute publicity stunts to begin with; but if so many advertisers are crowding so many product placements on screen, when does it get to the point people don't notice? That this fairy tale's ending is that people aren't complaining suggests the moment has arrived, whatever the assortment of buzzwords and metrics.

Of course this fairy tale has a parallel unhappy ending: advertisers are back to indiscriminately financing junk television.

Posted 11:52 AM by Gene

SUPERADAM's interns ask of some Noo Yawk "comics", “If you were Jay Leno, what would be the one joke that you would tell that could possibly get people to forgive you for what happened?” The results:

• “Ladies and gentlemen, the only reason you see me standing here is I was NBC's Plan B. Plan A involved the corpse of Johnny Carson and a lightning bolt.” —Jay Black

Ba-doom-BOOM!

• “We've decided to start fresh at the Tonight Show, so we've added some new segments: 'In the Year 4000,' 'Jay's Book Club,' and 'Top Eleven Lists.'" —Veronica Mosey

Ba-doom-BOOM!

• "Remember when the Taliban was overthrown, but then they came back into power again? Hi, I'm Jay." —Tom Cotter

Ba-doom-BOOM!

• "Me going back to the Tonight Show is like saying, 'Check the prostate again, Doc, and this time have some fun with it!'" —Chip Hirschfield

Ba-doom-BOOM!

• “The New York Times [SIC] asked people to send in their joke ideas, jokes, or lines that they'd tell, if they were me, that could possibly get people back in my corner. I sent in four pages. It all got rejected.” —Yes, Jackie "the Joke Man" Martling

Ba-doom-BOOM!

Jut-Jaw, your job is safe -- for now.