Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Thursday, July 31, 2003
Posted
8:19 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:25 PM
by Gene
Now they can just deliver the mail at 8 p.m. The following day.
Posted
5:10 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:01 PM
by Gene
Didn't he learn GENERAL JR.'s lesson?
Posted
1:27 PM
by Gene
The big retail chains, anxious to escape the wrong races, ran bansheeing out of the cities, building millions more stores in Mallopia than anyone needed. Now the retailers are paying the price. But for prejudice shoppers could have been better served -- in suburbs and in cities.
Posted
6:45 AM
by Gene
Sorry, you bozos need more than ombudsmen.
Posted
6:40 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:35 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:28 AM
by Gene
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
Posted
6:49 PM
by Gene
Although some might argue Hormel should have sued itself for inventing Spam®.
Posted
6:46 PM
by Gene
(And yes, I tried inserting an upside-down question mark in front like you're supposed to, AND BILL WOULDN'T LET ME.)
Posted
5:46 PM
by Gene
It also confirms that some shrinks are nuts.
Posted
5:29 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:25 PM
by Gene
Just like in bad inner-city schools. RIGHT, HOWELL? Hope the new ombuds -- public editor is more than what they mostly are -- window dressing.
Posted
5:22 PM
by Gene
This should make the BS meter go off the scale; it was reported by FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News and spread by NewsMax. Still I can see why it might be true.
Posted
1:46 PM
by Gene
"Every time a newspaper dies, even a bad one, the country moves a little closer to authoritarianism." --Richard Kluger Every time a newspaper runs another story about QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!, or another private tragedy, or another verbal form of social engineering, or another paean to the genius of show-business, the country moves a little closer to irreversible stupidity.
Posted
1:24 PM
by Gene
Sharon Osborne, mother of three -- not counting infantile husband Ozzy....
Posted
1:17 PM
by Gene
John, you miss the point! THE PURPOSE OF TV ADVERTISING IS TO FLUSH TENS OF BILLIONS OF OUR PURCHASING DOLLARS DOWN THE TOILET!
Posted
1:11 PM
by Gene
I guess the guy had good taste. (I just remembered -- he lived in a spaceship in Palm Springs. Oh well, in the end, he had good taste.)
Posted
12:30 PM
by Gene
NEWS HACKS DID.
Posted
11:52 AM
by Gene
That's the news -- hacks.
Posted
8:17 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:59 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:42 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:31 AM
by Gene
P. S. Yesterday I posted on the East Coast fee collector with the funny name. Why would somebody give a movie a title that looks like "Giggly" -- especially given the cloying tabloid romance of its lovey-dovey stars? P.P.S. If it helps, JACK, take the L from the title and you have Gigi, the best-picture Oscar® winner of '58. Bring back Lerner and Loewe! Tuesday, July 29, 2003
Posted
5:32 PM
by Gene
If it's any consolation, Beetle fans, Bill the Entomologist will be rolling out bugs for a long, long time.
Posted
5:22 PM
by Gene
Does that include Pac-Man?
Posted
5:20 PM
by Gene
And the worst thing is, Vincent Canby was an el-stinko writer.
Posted
5:18 PM
by Gene
ASK JOHN A. BYRNE.
Posted
5:13 PM
by Gene
Who wants to bet THE FIXER's in on this?
Posted
5:08 PM
by Gene
That's how it always works in the PC Kingdom. Ask the league's sponsors. OOPS! I'm sorry. I meant PC Persondom. (Mustn't be RACISTSEXISTHOMOPHOBIC.)
Posted
6:45 AM
by Gene
By the way, how many millions in fees did it take to devise that "what-is-it?" logo?
Posted
6:28 AM
by Gene
Monday, July 28, 2003
Posted
5:15 PM
by Gene
"Probably the most difficult, the most tearing thing of all is to be funny in a hospital.... In the long aisles of pain the men lie, with their eyes turned inward on themselves.... "Bob Hope and his company come into this quiet, inward, lonesome place, gently pull the minds outward and catch the interest, and finally bring laughter up out of the black water." Steinbeck wrote about the efforts of Frances Langford to sing in one hospital and how, when one of the wounded soldiers began to cry, she broke down and couldn't go on. "Then Hope walked into the aisle between the beds, and he said seriously: 'Fellows, the folks at home are having a terrible time about eggs. They can't get any powdered eggs at all. They've got to use the old-fashioned kind you break open.' "There's a man for you," Steinbeck concluded. "There is really a man." There was really a man. God bless you, Bob.
Posted
2:35 PM
by Gene
![]() And speaking of serving your country, see the lady at the top? (I'd have like to used just her picture but I can't edit these @#$%&* things.) She joined the military. (Not to slight the others; they joined also. Good going.) Miss, if I could be in your unit can I join too? HowOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Is your middle name Ava?
Posted
2:30 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:20 PM
by Gene
Two things: Honey's probably one of the most overrated TV personalities there is, and you can have conflicts of interest without stock ownership, as too many news hacks are willing to prove.
Posted
1:46 PM
by Gene
Hmmm. And the story goes on: In case you’ve steered clear of movie theaters this summer, or have succeeded only in “Finding Nemo,” here’s a rundown of the season’s cars on film: --Cadillacs and other General Motors vehicles storm through “The Matrix Reloaded.” --All variety of imports, modified virtually beyond recognition, set a very bad example in “2Fast 2Furious.” --Modern Mini Coopers reprise their role as getaway cars in the remake of 1969’s “The Italian Job.” --A carload of mutants go on the lam in a Mazda RX-8 in “X2: X-Men United.” --A Toyota Tundra holds its own against a fleet of emergency vehicles and a crane under the murderous command of a terminatrix (who — when not traveling through time — occasionally slums it in a Lexus SC 430) in “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines.” And what do nearly all these movies have in common? Either they've bombed or done disappointingly at the box office. Think there's a connection, JACK?
Posted
1:39 PM
by Gene
This is a ready-made campaign issue. But so long as the Demos are the party of the Hussein brothers and gay marriage they don't stand a chance.
Posted
10:06 AM
by Gene
No no, Dubya, we were saying, we want TEXAS! Your home state? It would help us win back the White House.
Posted
10:02 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:46 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:28 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:15 AM
by Gene
Posted
7:05 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:30 AM
by Gene
Sunday, July 27, 2003
Posted
7:29 PM
by Gene
Posted
7:23 PM
by Gene
I'd wager Lance Armstrong's done a lot more for cycling.
Posted
4:08 PM
by Gene
Well, at least computers are scanning me. P. S. I corrected the misspelling.
Posted
3:32 PM
by Gene
If we're going to publish novels let's stop calling them "memoirs."
Posted
3:28 PM
by Gene
PLEASE! No more frozen zones, no more sidewalks blocked by trailers, no more glaring lights -- PLEASE!
Posted
3:23 PM
by Gene
While they're at it, maybe they can pass on some information to Saddam.
Posted
3:10 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:31 PM
by Gene
Whatever, it's always one fad after another, which may account for the current "grim sales season." The book biz is in the same long-term creative drought and psychosis over marketing as the JACK biz, and Fitz and Papa couldn't lift it out of them (as if most people in the biz would know Fitz and Papa).
Posted
8:53 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:46 AM
by Gene
Call it the crucial "Sex and the City" demographic. I think Dubya's better off in Red Country.
Posted
8:44 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:44 AM
by Gene
Oh well, anything's better than ADVERTISEMENT -- and SYNERGY.
Posted
8:40 AM
by Gene
A page comes in two parts and the second part takes forever to download (The Mess, USA Okay); or When you try scrolling on a page before it's downloaded, you get a bar-code visual effect (the LALA Times). Better living through entomology™!
Posted
8:26 AM
by Gene
So long as The Wall Street Journals remain the police blotter of big business, it will always be a work in progress.
Posted
8:23 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:19 AM
by Gene
Saturday, July 26, 2003
Posted
5:55 PM
by Gene
I hear the jaysonists going HOORAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! A lot of them are big Chicago® fans too.
Posted
5:52 PM
by Gene
I was forced to hear Chicago®, aka Polyester in Music™, and as I was forced to hear Polyester in Music™ I thought two things (besides strangling whoever programs foreground Muzak®): 1. Chicago® is jazz for jazz haters; and 2. Chicago® is Lawrence Welk for boomers. I'd like to hear that band play "Bubbles in the Wine."
Posted
1:35 PM
by Gene
Posted
8:00 AM
by Gene
With the caveat that this IS The Washington Post, I can't say I'm surprised. But what will get the Demos back in power? Sending troops to Slobovia? Gay marriage? Puh-LEEZE!
Posted
7:36 AM
by Gene
Posted
7:25 AM
by Gene
Then again, any marriage with Liza Minnelli as the wife and David Gest as the husband was doomed to failure. Or is that Liza Minnelli as husband and...never mind. Friday, July 25, 2003
Posted
5:58 PM
by Gene
--U.S. Marines sent to Liberia coast --Catastrophe looms Wait a second! I thought catastrophe was supposed to happen only in Iraq.
Posted
5:43 PM
by Gene
PFFH-HH-HH-HH!!!!!
Posted
5:40 PM
by Gene
And tens of thousands of gullible (but trendy, super-intelligent and oh so blase) news hacks fell for it. WHAT'S YOUR NEXT PRACTICAL JOKE, IDIOTS?
Posted
5:16 PM
by Gene
I can just imagine its motto: "WE REPORT. YOU LISTEN."
Posted
5:09 PM
by Gene
WHALEY MSED THE CUT!!!!!
Posted
5:05 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:49 AM
by Gene
You're not supposed to tell, Victor!
Posted
10:43 AM
by Gene
Oooh, shouldn't do that, Dubya. Jim "Dow 36,000" Glassman must have a headache.
Posted
8:28 AM
by Gene
Posted
7:09 AM
by Gene
And worse than 141.
Posted
6:50 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:39 AM
by Gene
Thursday, July 24, 2003
Posted
5:06 PM
by Gene
Let me see if I can read a Kinsley.com article without reading it: The right hates Ann Coulter because she shows up conservatives who are worried solely about their image which is flaming hypocrisy because Ann Coulter is the ne-plus-ultra of Nazii -- er, mean-spirited conservatism. There! I did it! That's almost as predictable as Bill the Entomologist spawning new bugs.
Posted
4:59 PM
by Gene
That's a little like manure-shoveling duty at the race track, isn't it?
Posted
10:24 AM
by Gene
Just hope this isn't another contrary indicator.
Posted
9:10 AM
by Gene
But not long before he's shining shoes for Hitler and Stalin.
Posted
8:24 AM
by Gene
Soon the drumbeat of propa -- fearless truth telling will begin, and America's mighty liar -- journalists (ew! Now I'll have to take three showers! EW!!) will begin the chant! HILLARY FOR PRESIDENT!! HILLARY FOR PRESIDENT!! "She's the man the people choose,/Loves the Irish and the...." Well, maybe not. It's gonna be a LONG campaign.
Posted
6:57 AM
by Gene
That's what happens when you rule by tantrum.
Posted
6:28 AM
by Gene
This kind of lying by byline is almost as bad as what Jayson did. Here's a big media company doing a favor for another big media company, and in the process pretending that its reporters write for a local paper, NOT FOR THE COMPANY. SOMEBODY SHOULD BE REPRIMANDED FOR THIS. I'm complaining, which with this biz is like screaming in a padded cell. UPDATE: The Sentinel byline disappeared in the Trib, but not in the Sentinel. Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Posted
8:56 PM
by Gene
And in another part of Bill the Entomologist's magical mystical Web maelstrom, a GE Network News reporter says the brothers shot first.
Posted
7:49 PM
by Gene
James Morrow: US critics sink in mire of denial Alas, there in the upper-left-hand corner is: ![]() The international symbol of RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Again, I'd feel better if someone other than the usual gang of idiots said this.
Posted
7:42 PM
by Gene
Will these clowns ever raise their flags from half-mast?
Posted
5:46 PM
by Gene
If it weren't JACK, I'd say he has a case. Movie piracy does hurt "the little guy." But JACK didn't get where he is by being a little guy, and somebody like that anonymous brilliant actor named for a character in Tristram Shandy isn't a little guy, and every actress who fakes fornication before the cameras for an eight-digit fee isn't a little guy. The movie cretins evidence a sudden interest in "the little guy" only because their tax dodges could be depleted, and to provide flimsy cover for their infinite contempt of the filmgoing airheads. JACK's trade is bent on proving the old maxim, you get what you pay for, by providing a PRODUCT that isn't worth paying for, and the pirates have created a nice niche out of the biz' artistic bankruptcy. Yes, movie piracy is wrong, but with the biz defecating more masterworks than ever, it has at least a little bit of serves-you-right. And here's predicting the ads get laughed at in the movie houses -- even by the dumb blind teens.
Posted
5:33 PM
by Gene
After repeatedly blowing its fuse over Dubya's perfidy (something, I'll admit, it's easy to do when you're owned by Bill the Entomologist], Kinsley.com takes a vacation from the unfortunate deaths of the brothers Saddam. Back tomorrow with more snarky snideness!
Posted
5:02 PM
by Gene
Even if it gets through the courts -- a big if -- whether this rollback will do any good is another matter. The electronic Pandora's box got opened a long time ago. One prediction: hard-core knee-jerk conservatives (especially the Jim "Dow 36,000" Glassmen and other caveat-emptor FREE ENTERPRISE types) will be imitating a stroke the next few days.
Posted
11:54 AM
by Gene
I'm thinking of joining the leavers.
Posted
11:33 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:19 AM
by Gene
I don't think it was a former Republican governor who said getting the Hussein sons was unimportant.
Posted
11:01 AM
by Gene
This was Uday Hussein's press secretary. What about the others? And what about those who mourn this scum's passing?
Posted
10:38 AM
by Gene
Should we laugh or believe them for once?
Posted
10:13 AM
by Gene
What did I say about spin?
Posted
9:56 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:47 AM
by Gene
"A song without music is a lot like H2 without the O." --Ira Gershwin It's a shame though that Gershwin did not live long enough to see this age of popular-music genius, or he might have called rap H2 with the S.
Posted
8:57 AM
by Gene
A big step forward in resume writing!
Posted
8:22 AM
by Gene
Reuters stock declined over eight percent on Tuesday, denting greedy executives' hopes that the stock would reach $150 a share again any time soon.
Posted
8:16 AM
by Gene
Posted
7:03 AM
by Gene
Now, Andy S., here is how a RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-controlled Beeb would report on a scandal involving RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or a member of his family:
Posted
6:44 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:35 AM
by Gene
Keep it up guys and we'll have a one-party state just like Mexico did.
Posted
6:22 AM
by Gene
And this imbecilic hack Richard Verrier is the Cheerleader of the Leader of the Brand. Today Andy S. was commenting about how the Beeb is mourning the death of Saddam's sons. This is the flip side. The unfathomable loss news hacks took in Iraq they will more than gain back through the solace of writing more and more offensive press releases. Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Posted
5:37 PM
by Gene
And his suspension was approved by THE ZON (or so somebody said), so obviously this former scribbler was IMPORTANT. Raving idiots is what all news hacks would be, given the chance.
Posted
5:30 PM
by Gene
The problem with you, Liz, is you're not a gossip columnist. You're a PUBLICIST. And as you publicists have proven, we don't need "the Internet" (whatever that is) for "the most outrageous stuff." We have enough Devins and "Seller" Seilers and ADVERTISEMENTS and Ednas in print serving up "crap." And their restraint's gone overboard too. What's more, they're "legit."
Posted
5:21 PM
by Gene
What's bad news for Reuters is good news for the rest of us. Then again, what's bad news for Reuters may be good news for CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!), and that's not good news for the rest of us.
Posted
5:17 PM
by Gene
Maybe Wacko isn't all bad.
Posted
4:59 PM
by Gene
Hope this shuts the venal scribblers up -- for a day. This last week or so I have grown so discouraged by what is easily the most partisan news coverage since the 2000 election, and (I may as well admit it) that I write this blog for an audience of practically nobody; moreover I fear I'm thinking in knee-jerk ways myself. I am tired of having these six- and seven-digit politician hacks tell me what to think -- and that they can do it so effectively through the Web means their power is exponentially increased, whatever all the self-congratulation about the populist glory of blogs. Perhaps I should do what GLENNY does and take a few vacations; but the lure of the keyboard is too strong.
Posted
1:42 PM
by Gene
Looks like the most evil man in America got Walter to SHUT UP.
Posted
12:59 PM
by Gene
We've won the war. P. S. Even more mysterious than the sprouting cell phones is that Reuters ran this, and Reuters is in a death-struggle with the Beeb to see who can throw more monkey wrenches into our efforts.
Posted
12:56 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:48 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:42 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:35 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:23 AM
by Gene
Which, translated, means the League of Nations would rather see a PC mullah-state with stonings, beheadings, hand-loppings, woman beating, terrorism, etc., etc., ETC., than a constitutional democracy that has ANYTHING to do with AMERICA.
Posted
11:02 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:49 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:36 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:34 AM
by Gene
We'll find out when we stop reading stories of new corporate malfeasance every single day.
Posted
6:31 AM
by Gene
No doubt, but Paul Krugman squelches dissenting views at the top of his lungs. Monday, July 21, 2003
Posted
5:13 PM
by Gene
THOUSANDS OF LAYOFFS PILE PRESSURE ON REUTERS TO DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, I exaggerated, a little. But here's a chart showing Reuters is far closer to bankruptcy than we are to losing thousands of soldiers: I think I understand why Andy S. says these guys WANT us to fail.
Posted
1:43 PM
by Gene
Before breaking out the bubbly, I'd suggest try ing to read his site on a 15 " moni tor.
Posted
1:30 PM
by Gene
It's better than talking about sex.
Posted
1:11 PM
by Gene
Yes, a station that plays the same moldy oldies a billion times over (often in public places against your will) between thirty-minute commercial breaks definitely relieves stress. And natch, IT'S A CHEAP CHANNEL.
Posted
12:04 PM
by Gene
WARNING: This article contains a quote from Perfesser Thompson, America's most shameless publicity seeker in academe, give or take a thousand other perfessers.
Posted
12:02 PM
by Gene
It's the Saudi Shuffle: one step forward, one step back.
Posted
11:55 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:21 AM
by Gene
Two-bit movies and TV shows have lately been featuring angels in the hokiest, trashiest patent-medicine-mongering way: snake oil for the mindless mind. A society adrift, without moorings in genuine art, philosophy, history, or even (if you must) religion [Mr. Simon is an atheist] snatches at every nostrum: gurus, tea leaves, astrology, chat rooms, and white-winged guardians protecting you from mishaps. A society adrift. In three words John Simon has written more than thousands of pundits in thousands of column-inches.
Posted
9:59 AM
by Gene
Culture clash? You mean we're both not in the business of recording bad disposable music and keeping our vaults firmly shut?
Posted
6:54 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:52 AM
by Gene
DAAAAAAH-dut-dut-DAAAAAAH-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! World managed to spin without you, huh Glenny? Sunday, July 20, 2003
Posted
5:45 PM
by Gene
"Heroism feels and never reasons, and therefore is always right." --Ralph Waldo Emerson That name is familiar. Didn't he edit the first high-school yearbook?
Posted
5:32 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:24 PM
by Gene
Does the fact that he can walk virtually unnoticed on the streets of Los Angeles -- let alone Seoul or S-o Paulo [sic] -- make him any less valuable an actor? NO! This man's name will echo through the history of film even more than his inferiors of the past -- Fairbanks, Cooper, Cagney, Gable, Grant, Bogart, Wayne, Stewart! Now, uh, what is it? THAT'S HIS NAME?!?!? I thought it was a character in Tristram Shandy.
Posted
12:54 PM
by Gene
GO FOR THE SEVEN DIGITS, JR.! AND AS ALWAYS, THE PUBLIC BE DAMNED!
Posted
12:47 PM
by Gene
Better that than synergexia. Or is this one of those chortle chortle chortle chuckle chuckle chuckle nyuk nyuk nyuk inside jokes?
Posted
12:37 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:47 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:22 AM
by Gene
Even if they wanted to, California politicians can’t free themselves to be statesmen, because they have locked themselves in the ideological straitjacket of safe, one-party, gerrymandered seats. As a result, the activist fringes are in control, since they can turn out the vote in low-turnout elections. The result is even more apathy, even lower turnout—and even more power for the unelected powers that be. I'm not sure who's on the activist right fringe in California -- most likely grass-roots organizations, outfits like the Freepers -- but we all know who's on the LEFT fringe, and that includes news hacks. The more the fringe is in control, the more apathy, the more power to the unelected. What's good for AOL.... And yes, I know, Sam Donaldson IS alive, but media bigshots are so vain that when they're out of work, they're technically dead. And Sam was one of the vainest.
Posted
8:47 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:43 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:35 AM
by Gene
That state will survive Gray Davis, just as BLUNDER survived the Hitler Diaries (pffh-hh-hh).
Posted
8:29 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:24 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:23 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:17 AM
by Gene
What is the difference between a news hack and a politician? None. Both kinds of creatures always claim to serve the public, always campaign, always search for a better job, always mug for the cameras, always lie (the politician calls it "plausible deniability," the news hack calls it "objectivity") -- and they're both in "show-biz for ugly people." Saturday, July 19, 2003
Posted
8:56 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:13 PM
by Gene
SHHHH!!!!! It's a miltary secret.
Posted
5:41 PM
by Gene
I hate this age.
Posted
5:34 PM
by Gene
One wonders how the news hacks would react to a VIETNAM.
Posted
2:05 PM
by Gene
![]() The secret woid (again) is FORMER (four times). Looking at pictures of Groucho I can understand why he appealed to the ladies. Sort of the same appeal retired generals and former spies have to news hacks. (Sorry, Grouch.)
Posted
11:12 AM
by Gene
I FOUND IT FIRST! P.S. Since the CLOWNS at GoogleBlogger have decided to bollix up my archives, here's my piece of poesy, again: Let's give a Bronx cheer to that radio dolt who'll Sell millions of boxes of his Whole Grain Total. I'll have to work up rhymes for his other sponsors.
Posted
11:00 AM
by Gene
What do you propose for a replacement?
Posted
8:50 AM
by Gene
Think we can have such sympathy for JAYSON?
Posted
8:37 AM
by Gene
Friday, July 18, 2003
Posted
6:36 PM
by Gene
My favorite part of the story: Only two days before the ABC show, similarly bitter sentiments -- with no names attached -- were voiced in an anonymous e-mail circulating around the Internet, allegedly from "the soldiers of the Second Brigade, Third ID." "Our morale is not high or even low," the letter said. "Our morale is nonexistent. We have been told twice that we were going home, and twice we have received a 'stop' movement to stay in Iraq." The message, whose authenticity could not be confirmed.... Sorta like Janet Cooke's heroin addict. Right?
Posted
6:30 PM
by Gene
![]() After I bring up this picture -- that's AOL's Towers of Babble in New York -- my computer freezes. Figures.
Posted
6:18 PM
by Gene
How can anyone legislate with such showoffs as Bill "The Paul Lynde Impersonator Without a Sense of Humor" Thomas and Pete "IIIII Haaaaaate JEWWWWWS" Stark?
Posted
5:57 PM
by Gene
Some of the worst films of all time have been musical bios -- like Warner's own Cole Porter smarmfest Night and Day, which inspired derisive laughter, and the lugubrious Words and Music, despite Mickey and Judy singing "I Wish I Were in Love Again." Sorry idiots, you don't even have Mickey. (No, I don't think Elvis Costello and Alanis Morissette are quite up there.) And being "honest" about Porter will probably result in a movie just as unwatchable, as the accent, of course, will not be on his music. Louis B. Mayer and Arthur Freed must be rolling in their graves. Further hint that this will be something spectacular: it has three producers and is written by a former blurbist and organization man for ATWOLA rag. De-lovely? It may have to be de-loused. P. S. MGM is NOT the MGM (most of which was bought by Mouth from the South and now belongs to King Richard); it's the successor to United Artists and ditched the name in part because it's associated with Heaven's Gate, which may be a better subject for a movie.
Posted
5:37 PM
by Gene
But then, I thought he wouldn't be charged. Of course, the sports world has come a long way since Pete Rose.
Posted
5:27 PM
by Gene
First, because businessmen are conformists to the nth degree. Second, because businessmen heard that Bill the Entomologist reads The Econowiz, therefore it must be brain food, and anything that makes a businessman smarter must be good (like Who Moved My Cheese?), and because businessmen are conformists to the nth degree, they all decided to read The Econowiz, even though much of its content is beyond their reading skills, and even though it's ATWOLA and BLUNDER only better written and with an ATTITUDE. And third, because The Econowiz makes a handy-dandy intimidation tool on an executive's desk when he can point to the rag and say, I READ THE ECONOMIST AND YOU DON'T!!!!! That's why The Econowiz does well.
Posted
3:13 PM
by Gene
Oops, better not say slave. Say indentured servant.
Posted
10:50 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:04 AM
by Gene
Fortunately this story has a happy ending: Rani al-Hajjar, an Atlanta student and co-ordinator for Palestinian Media Watch, said: "I think if it's coming from a cultural superiority complex, saying that we are infallible and saying that our policies are best, then I think it is liable to fail." Of course, this is The Independent -- and the reporter's name is BUNCOMBE. Another happy ending: BUNCOMBE misidentifies the group: It's Palestine Media Watch (the other group is pro-Israeli), and its backers include such non-partisan neutral observers as Noam Chomsky. If only I could find that picture of Robert Fisk with the bandages....
Posted
7:10 AM
by Gene
This might mean an emergency meeting of the Party in Beijing.
Posted
6:53 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:41 AM
by Gene
Thursday, July 17, 2003
Posted
5:57 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:47 PM
by Gene
I'd like to believe Subway's is headed the way of Mickey D's, but unfortunately that purveyor of bad food and worse television seems to have righted itself, for now.
Posted
5:26 PM
by Gene
I have trouble with GOOGLEBLOGGER.
Posted
5:13 PM
by Gene
This is the classic definition of a Hobson's choice.
Posted
2:05 PM
by Gene
What? News hacks are in bed with them already.
Posted
2:03 PM
by Gene
Surprise! The sky is blue.
Posted
6:52 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:46 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:37 AM
by Gene
http://www.opinionjournal.com/editorial/feature.html?id=110003756 -- and you discover, yep, it's The Wall Street Journals CONSERVATIVE EDITION. Sorry Andy, we'll only be sure when The Wall Street Journals LIBERAL EDITION says so.
Posted
6:29 AM
by Gene
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
Posted
5:33 PM
by Gene
Aren't you forgetting something? SLICK appointed him!
Posted
5:21 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:16 PM
by Gene
I might hold my nose, though.
Posted
1:54 PM
by Gene
Don't listen, Dubya.
Posted
1:45 PM
by Gene
If it's any consolation Monica, I think you're cute.
Posted
1:39 PM
by Gene
Caveat: this is NewsMax.
Posted
1:33 PM
by Gene
HellllllllLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!
Posted
1:23 PM
by Gene
SHUCKS. If they'd hit it, there'd have been DANCIN' in America's luxury news suites!
Posted
9:44 AM
by Gene
Noise on out of there, ZON.
Posted
9:42 AM
by Gene
The Understatement of the Year.
Posted
9:28 AM
by Gene
Why not? The League of Nations was in the dark about Iraq.
Posted
9:23 AM
by Gene
Where's the H word, Rev. Al?
Posted
9:17 AM
by Gene
A prince replacing The Sun King?
Posted
7:09 AM
by Gene
The best years for movies was the 1930’s & 40’s. The best years for music was the 1950’s & 60’s. This sounds like the beginning of bad poetry. I'd wager the most knowledgeable film historians (or rather, those very few not afflicted with Biskinditis) would say silent-era movies are best; that second sentence is straight from Robert "Over the" Hilburn. As long as people think in platitudes about our culture it will never get better -- and I'm not sure now that it deserves to.
Posted
7:03 AM
by Gene
I take it back. The press IS Party HQ.
Posted
6:54 AM
by Gene
Now maybe they can get to building some decent buildings -- but as I've said before, I don't think our architecture is up to it. Tuesday, July 15, 2003
Posted
6:32 PM
by Gene
Imagine a thousand of this and you imagine the state of too much of our celebrated youth culture.
Posted
5:59 PM
by Gene
"Unhappy the land that is in need of heroes." --Bertolt Brecht One wonders if he intended this (to use another favorite news-hack word) ironically; Brecht was a table-pounding Communist and by all accounts a thoroughly despicable man. Maybe next time Little Malcolm's boys could quote from Mein Kampf.
Posted
5:42 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:46 PM
by Gene
I wonder how many of those people were -- naah. Can't say.
Posted
9:20 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:14 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:43 AM
by Gene
I'm thinking if we could just transport JACK and his conspiracy to another planet we could solve many of our foreign-policy problems.
Posted
8:23 AM
by Gene
First one who says a League of Nations peacekeeping force wins a trip to Hell.
Posted
7:05 AM
by Gene
It's a shame the Fingers in the Wind are atheists.
Posted
6:56 AM
by Gene
First one to say yes wins the nomination.
Posted
6:46 AM
by Gene
But will the League of Nations accept the delegation?
Posted
6:38 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:34 AM
by Gene
Monday, July 14, 2003
Posted
6:32 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:17 PM
by Gene
Thankfully, Babbittry lives in Detroit.
Posted
5:57 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:51 PM
by Gene
Let's see the free-wheelin' pleasure-lovin' Brazilians after a couple of decades of hard-core Communism.
Posted
5:47 PM
by Gene
Just like good ol' Entomologist Bill!
Posted
5:41 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:29 PM
by Gene
If it had been Slick it would have been @#$%&*! good.
Posted
5:26 PM
by Gene
Oh great. Now it can convert more of one form of energy into another -- nuclear. With a little help from Vice-President Inside's friends the mullahs could stay in power forever.
Posted
5:20 PM
by Gene
And why shouldn't he? Isn't their common goal destr -- peace with Israel?
Posted
5:18 PM
by Gene
Here's an instance of news hacks comforting the comfortable.
Posted
6:45 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:40 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:33 AM
by Gene
Sunday, July 13, 2003
Posted
6:45 PM
by Gene
Hint: they all begin with an S.
Posted
6:22 PM
by Gene
(I also wonder how popular he truly is. Alexa.com [which ranks hits only from Windows- and IE-equipped computers] rates him at 222 -- which is less than the New York Times [59], CNN [23], the Washington Post [122], USA Okay [187], the Mess [33] -- so maybe more than a few people are starting to dislike breathing in that sewer stench.)
Posted
4:53 PM
by Gene
Let's see if the result is democracy or a concession.
Posted
4:49 PM
by Gene
That sloppy writing alone tells me that when it comes to terrorists, my guess is as good as yours.
Posted
4:32 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:53 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:23 PM
by Gene
With an estimated 3,000 translated versions of the Bible, does the world really need another? This line explains why most news writing is a waste of time. Here is a self-evident truth, pithily expressed, yet the writer goes on with his press release. At least ARROGANT BLUNDER recognizes this, smug and wrong though he/she/it is. Alas, most of the celebrated bloggers also ignore the value of brevity with their own endless bloviating.
Posted
12:01 PM
by Gene
Obviously he doesn't read Charles Krauthammer.
Posted
11:48 AM
by Gene
By that standard, ARROGANT BLUNDER, you should make a fortune.
Posted
11:46 AM
by Gene
Right again?
Posted
11:35 AM
by Gene
GET A LIFE!!!!!
Posted
11:30 AM
by Gene
This should put a smile on all those Germans who made fun of the "cowboys." Hey Herr Schroeder! How do you like those unemployment lines?
Posted
11:25 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:18 AM
by Gene
Not long ago the secret word was "retired." Today the word is "former." "Former" appears in this story seven times.
Posted
11:14 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:11 AM
by Gene
The only good thing is, it's not OUR people getting WELCHED.
Posted
9:01 AM
by Gene
Saturday, July 12, 2003
Posted
7:39 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:42 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:24 PM
by Gene
Man the ship and bring her to life. Aye aye ma'am, just as the sailors said.
Posted
5:13 PM
by Gene
Oh really? The sport with the cookie-cutter old-timey stadiums? The sport with interleague play? The sport with the DH? The sport with sausage mascots and electronic umpire's helpers and SELIG SIGNS®? The sport with clever accounting? Oh yes, baseball should definitely be above gimmicks.
Posted
12:43 PM
by Gene
Yep, to paraphrase the beloved hypocrite Joseph Pulitzer, newshacks comfort the comfortable and afflict the afflicted. I intend to post this every time news hacks run a story like this, which probably means every blasted day.
Posted
12:32 PM
by Gene
That's almost the way the book biz is headed.
Posted
7:25 AM
by Gene
The likes of LEGENDARY Welch will never stop smiling.
Posted
7:18 AM
by Gene
Now maybe Dubya can work up the courage to heave-ho him.
Posted
7:06 AM
by Gene
How could Pinch (he hates the name) have done that to the greatest editor of all time?
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