Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Friday, June 30, 2006
Posted
8:23 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:57 PM
by Gene
Better, of course, to turn these nuke swords into plowshares -- but we'll need a few on hand as Pandora opened that box a long time ago.
Posted
5:15 PM
by Gene
It may be a challenge, KEN, when you start off the bat with SOME OF YOUR "FACTS" WRONG.
Posted
5:12 PM
by Gene
We think we can point a finger at a possible culprit, too: its co-producer PEPSICO, which plastered SHAMELESS PLUGS for the tentpole on every bottle of its tooth-rotting carbonated corn-syrup juice, and no doubt increased sales. (To be sure it was also going up against the Coke Rewards promotion, which offers a far broader line of premiums and contests.) This was further a lunkheaded collaboration with MR. WARNER BROS. Terry! SYNERGY DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE. You'd be better off finding new dissidents to help jail in China.
Posted
11:15 AM
by Gene
This evening I called The New York Times's 1-800 number to suspend delivery of my paper for the holiday weekend. I've done this several times over the years and always gotten the same recorded greeting, which kicks off an automated menu. But tonight I heard something different: Thank you for calling The New York Times. To comment on recent editorial content, please call 212-[xxx-xxxx]. For all other calls, please remain on the line...Such is life, I guess, when you've been accused of "treason." --Michael Crowley posted 12:05 a.m. You can almost hear Little Mikey saying, now if only those Nazis would do that to US.
Posted
11:06 AM
by Gene
Chronic job strain may raise blood pressure Chronic reading of Al Reut dispatches may raise blood pressure too, so don't talk.
Posted
10:59 AM
by Gene
Well, anything to give the clerks, interns and customer-service reps a bad day is always worth it -- especially since you're telling THE TRUTH. The next time we encounter such logorrhea we will simply call its author ROBERTA "OVER THE" HILBURN.
Posted
10:11 AM
by Gene
And yes, we copied from Jo-NAH's words, but only because they're TIMELESS. Besides, Jo-NAH copied his hed from some yutz.
Posted
9:38 AM
by Gene
[The Overseas Press Club of America on Thursday told President Bush that his administration's attacks on The Times could have a "chilling influence" on editors around the country.] TRANSLATION: DAMMIT! We'll have to pretend to tone down the partisanship!
Posted
9:35 AM
by Gene
Isn't broadcasting a class act?
Posted
9:25 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:22 AM
by Gene
Or as Mike Riedel says: "(Note to Canadian taxpayers: NEVER PUT YOUR OWN MONEY IN THE SHOW.)"
Posted
9:18 AM
by Gene
Well, at least the CONSERVATIVE EDITION does. (Via the inimitable Romy)
Posted
6:58 AM
by Gene
If the HACKS could redesign the American flag in their image it would have yellow stripes and yellow stars against a field of yellow.
Posted
6:53 AM
by Gene
Members of the House and Senate intelligence committees confirm that the National Security Agency has compiled a massive database of domestic phone call records. But some lawmakers also say that cooperation by the nation's telecommunication companies was not as extensive as first reported by USA TODAY on May 11. See! SEE! Says THE NATION'S PR PAPER. We were AT LEAST HALF-RIGHT. But you were a little bit wrong, too. Happily wrong doesn't count against P-ULITZER PRIZES or running TONS OF PRESS RELEASES AND PLUGS. Thursday, June 29, 2006
Posted
6:08 PM
by Gene
CHRONOLOGY-Fed funds rate changes since 1990 By Reuters | June 29, 2006 NEW YORK (Reuters) - The Federal Reserve raised the benchmark federal funds rate to 5.25 percent from 5.00 percent on Thursday, the central bank's 17th consecutive interest-rate hike since it began tightening monetary policy in June 2004. The following is a chronology of the Federal Reserve's changes in the federal funds rate since 1990. Moves are measured in basis points (bps), each of which equals one-hundredth of a percentage point: 2006 June 29 Raised 25 bps to 5.25 pct May 10 Raised 25 bps to 5.00 pct March 28 Raised 25 bps to 4.75 pct Jan 31 Raised 25 bps to 4.50 pct 2005 Dec 13 Raised 25 bps to 4.25 pct Nov 1 Raised 25 bps to 4.00 pct Sept 20 Raised 25 bps to 3.75 pct Aug 9 Raised 25 bps to 3.50 pct June 30 Raised 25 bps to 3.25 pct May 3 Raised 25 bps to 3.00 pct March 22 Raised 25 bps to 2.75 pct Feb 2 Raised 25 bps to 2.50 pct 2004 Dec 14 Raised 25 bps to 2.25 pct Nov 10 Raised 25 bps to 2.00 pct Sept 21 Raised 25 bps to 1.75 pct Aug 10 Raised 25 bps to 1.50 pct June 30 Raised 25 bps to 1.25 pct 2003 June 25 Cut 25 bps to 1.00 pct 2002 Nov 6 Cut 50 bps to 1.25 pct 2001 Dec 12 Cut 25 bps to 1.75 pct Nov 6 Cut 50 bps to 2.00 pct Oct 2 Cut 50 bps to 2.50 pct Sept 17 Cut 50 bps to 3.00 pct Aug 21 Cut 25 bps to 3.50 pct June 27 Cut 25 bps to 3.75 pct May 15 Cut 50 bps to 4.00 pct April 18 Cut 50 bps to 4.50 pct March 20 Cut 50 bps to 5.00 pct Jan 31 Cut 50 bps to 5.50 pct Jan 3 Cut 50 bps to 6.00 pct 2000 May 16 Raised 50 bps to 6.50 pct March 21 Raised 25 bps to 6.00 pct Feb 2 Raised 25 bps to 5.75 pct 1999 Nov 16 Raised 25 bps to 5.50 pct Aug 24 Raised 25 bps to 5.25 pct June 30 Raised 25 bps to 5.00 pct 1998 Nov 17 Cut 25 bps to 4.75 pct Oct 15 Cut 25 bps to 5.00 pct Sept 29 Cut 25 bps to 5.25 pct 1997 March 25 Raised 25 bps to 5.50 pct 1996 Jan 31 Cut 25 bps to 5.25 pct 1995 Dec 19 Cut 25 bps to 5.50 pct July 6 Cut 25 bps to 5.75 pct Feb 1 Raised 50 bps to 6.00 pct 1994 Nov 15 Raised 75 bps to 5.50 pct Aug 16 Raised 50 bps to 4.75 pct May 17 Raised 50 bps to 4.25 pct April 18 Raised 25 bps to 3.75 pct March 22 Raised 25 bps to 3.50 pct Feb 4 Raised 25 bps to 3.25 pct 1993 No rate changes 1992 Sept 4 Cut 25 bps to 3.00 pct July 2 Cut 50 bps to 3.25 pct April 9 Cut 25 bps to 3.75 pct 1991 Dec 20 Cut 50 bps to 4.00 pct Dec 6 Cut 25 bps to 4.50 pct Nov 6 Cut 25 bps to 4.75 pct Oct 31 Cut 25 bps to 5.00 pct Sept 13 Cut 25 bps to 5.25 pct Aug 6 Cut 25 bps to 5.50 pct April 30 Cut 25 bps to 5.75 pct March 8 Cut 25 bps to 6.00 pct Feb 1 Cut 50 bps to 6.25 pct Jan 9 Cut 25 bps to 6.75 pct 1990 Dec 18 Cut 25 bps to 7.00 pct Dec 7 Cut 25 bps to 7.25 pct Nov 13 Cut 25 bps to 7.50 pct Oct 29 Cut 25 bps to 7.75 pct July 13 Cut 25 bps to 8.00 pct REUTERS [SIC] Gee thanks again for those swell stats!
Posted
3:07 PM
by Gene
The SOX [Sarbanes-Oxley] internal control rules adopted in response to the meltdown at Enron have been criticized by many (including yours truly) for being too costly, especially for small business. Yet, while the SOX rules may not be perfect, some system of internal controls is necessary to ensure that the accounting trickery and frauds of the 1990s are not repeated.
Posted
1:36 PM
by Gene
He may be playing politics with THE PAPER OF RE-CORD, but there's a reason we don't trust NEWS HACKS anymore.
Posted
1:32 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:20 PM
by Gene
I confess: I did buy five copies of Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. Are you an S&M PHREAK, Smash Hit, or merely a CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTOR?
Posted
12:19 PM
by Gene
The hacks are in their MAJOR DEFEAT mode, meaning they're smiling. Guys, let US judge, PLEASE? P. S. I have just added MAJOR DEFEAT to THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY.
Posted
9:42 AM
by Gene
Isn't that sweet?
Posted
9:34 AM
by Gene
Highly unlikely; there's a millionaire born every minute.
Posted
9:13 AM
by Gene
WHAT THIS CULTURAL AUTHORITARIANISM COMPLETELY OVERLOOKS IS HOW RADICALLY THE CONGREGATIONS FOR LITURGICAL WORSHIP ARE CHANGING! THE SINGLE, CENTRAL KIND OF MUSIC HEARD IN CHURCH IN THE PAST HAS, AS IN SO MANY AREAS OF OUR LIFE, BEEN COMPLETELY OVERTAKEN BY A HUGE VARIETY OF STYLES AND TASTES: WHO IS TO SAY THAT DIFFERENT GENERATIONS CANNOT WORSHIP TO THE MUSIC OF PALESTRINA OR POP, JOSQUIN OR FLAMENCO?????????? For our part we doubt many people have been worshipping to flamenco lately -- we doubt very many have been worshipping at all in Spain, which is trying very hard to be The World's Most PC Nation™. (Or in Mexico, where the national religion is leaving the country.) And lots of our churches do worship to pop -- which maybe is why not too many people take the Catholic Church seriously in these parts. Heck we could worship to John Cage -- let's see the pews fill. Or [C]RAP -- I sense a new burst of Catholicism in the inner city! We suspect someone who gets his forehead into such furrows hasn't been to church lately, or at all (he IS British), but that's okay if it gives him permission to get MAD. (Via the usual ArtsJournal.com, the ROMY of AHT)
Posted
8:58 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:45 AM
by Gene
![]() GREG FINDS A LINK BETWEEN HADITHA AND MY LAI!!!!!!!!!! JANE!!!!! STOP THIS CRAZY THING!!!!! JANE!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
8:32 AM
by Gene
SIX OF ONE.... (Via the usual Romy) Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Posted
8:50 PM
by Gene
![]() And speaking of the LALATimes (and before we forget) we MUST bow down to our inner man and post this picture of this Australian (or rather Amazonian) surferette. Though surfing may be ridiculed as the province of dunderheads, as witness a certain surfing Congresspoop -- we were transfixed to learn there's a professional surfing league -- it nonetheless has produced surf music, and surf movies, and obviously a few pleasures for the eye.
Posted
8:45 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:49 PM
by Gene
I should have said "soft-pedal" earlier not "soft-peddle." Heads will role. (That was a joke). Like The Corner?
Posted
5:33 PM
by Gene
• Commentary: Media shows bias for gay marriage ...and found that damfool "Dr." WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!! Dobson. Possibly the purpose of this stunt was a kind of QED that would make people laugh at him and his prejudices; but even having this damfool belch does not negate the notion that yes, the media have their crotchets.
Posted
5:23 PM
by Gene
The financing underpinning of the deal is complex. Starting more than two years ago, Ferchill negotiated 22 different layers of financing, including investor equity, bank loans, and multiple levels of tax credits keyed to historic preservation, brownfield cleanup and environmental conservation. We would not be surprised to learn this is mostly taxpayer-financed. If so, this project could be gutted again in less time than it will be rebuilt. We know too the delusions people harbor that downtowns can be rebuilt. All said we hope this works -- there's enough to work against it. Elsewhere a fine old Detroit bar (these hacks MUST call it LEGENDARY) is being replaced by something called the Rosa Parks Transit Center, whose very name summons the cities' uphill climb.
Posted
12:12 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:40 AM
by Gene
When does UPS take it over? Not that the brown-uniform gang is that hot these days with all their damaged merchandise.
Posted
11:21 AM
by Gene
![]() Sometimes the way show-biz types can strike a pose is more amusing than what they do. Here's a picture from 1949 of (left to right) Jack Mercer, Mae Questel and Jackson Beck. These names will be unknown to most people, so let's identify them for who they were: the voices of Popeye, Olive Oyl and Bluto. If you recall the Famous Studios Popeyes of the forties and fifties (and you should given their excessive televising), you'll know how abysmal those cartoons are. No doubt about it, though: these three were their characters. See what I mean? P. S. Here's more evidence of the extraordinary vision of NEWS HACKS, especially the HEARST HACKS: There was actually a clause in the original contract between Paramount Pictures and King Features, stating that after ten years, the prints and negatives of the Popeye cartoons were to be destroyed. King Features had the same clause for all of their licensed properties. There is speculation that the clause contributed to the demise of Fleischer Studios. The clause was never enforced for Popeye. The communal editing of Wikipedia is a great strength -- and a great weakness; the site has this decent Popeye entry -- and virtual "stubs" for Hearst and King Features. P. P. S. at 1:15 p.m.: I unaccountably called Bluto "Brutus" in the original post -- perhaps because King Features unaccountably called Bluto Brutus.
Posted
10:29 AM
by Gene
(Both via ArtsJournal.com, where the proprietor is feeling sad too)
Posted
9:06 AM
by Gene
Sure Mac, sure.
Posted
8:30 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:28 AM
by Gene
Thanks, Ike!
Posted
8:26 AM
by Gene
Yes, if we weren't anti-anchors before we are now. Great ratings, Jon!
Posted
7:01 AM
by Gene
Since when has the Clinton Library been selling drugs without a prescription, PILLHEAD?
Posted
6:44 AM
by Gene
In short, we're running LOTS OF PRESS RELEASES AND PLUGS AGAIN -- like THIS WELL-DRESSED 2,058-WORD MASTERPIECE! A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO DONNA! Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Posted
5:22 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:20 PM
by Gene
Wwwwwwwwwell! That'll show 'em to put coffee in their tea-times!
Posted
1:33 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:30 PM
by Gene
Kilroy said Monday that Intel's Xeon 5100 chip will be the tops in both "performance and performance per watt," and he trotted out Greg Brandeau, vice president of computer operations for Pixar Animation Studios, to back up his boasts that the new microprocessor would be speedier and energy efficient. Brandeau said it took 12 months of 'round-the-clock computer animation to create Pixar's new film, "Cars," and added that Pixar's data center is now so packed that it can't accommodate new machines without over-heating its air conditioning system. After testing a prototype server running the Xeon 5100, he estimated that a roomful of such devices would have taken "37 percent of the space and one-half the power" of Pixar's current server array. But then the day may come when anyone can make Pixar on a computer. What good will server farms do then?
Posted
12:14 PM
by Gene
Shucks, there goes that good intention.
Posted
11:54 AM
by Gene
"The scale of generosity is inspiring. We are likely to see other significant transfers of personal wealth into philanthropy for the common good," says Ford Foundation President Susan Berresford. "That bodes well for the creative role philanthropy can play in solving societal problems." With that endorsement we SHOULD be worried.
Posted
11:23 AM
by Gene
Now KnightRidder, rest in PEACE. (Via the interminable ROMY)
Posted
11:12 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:10 AM
by Gene
![]() Maybe this is a rusted, unsafe hulk. The problem with CVS is that it will replicate anywhere if not checked. Why are we convinced CVS is only in business for cloning itself, and shaking down Medicare?
Posted
9:03 AM
by Gene
The New York Post told reporter Andy Geller not to come to work for a month after the newspaper discovered he copied massive sections of an article from The New York Times, sources at the Post confirmed yesterday. All the news that's fit to FILCH! Right, RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? (VIa the inevitable Romy, who may not stop laughing all day)
Posted
6:56 AM
by Gene
What is the point of editorials? (Mr. Buffett and Ms. Gates are directors of The Washington Post Co.) What is the point of THIS editorial?
Posted
6:51 AM
by Gene
We thought having all that power and money were ENOUGH, Rushbo!
Posted
6:45 AM
by Gene
The board of the Religious Coalition for the Freedom to Marry includes clergy from several liberal Christian and Jewish denominations and other faiths, including paganism. 1. This group seems to have adopted Jack Abramoff's notion: "Let your name tell the public as little as possible." 2. This is a liberal's idea of religion.
Posted
6:33 AM
by Gene
A fired-up President Bush yesterday said The New York Times did "great harm" to America by revealing a top-secret program to track terrorist financing. "The disclosure of this program is disgraceful," Bush told reporters at a White House photo op. And what would You have done -- RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? Let's ask the editors of THE TIMES. Monday, June 26, 2006
Posted
7:58 PM
by Gene
![]() Public EEEEEEEDI-torrrrrrr! Where ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU?
Posted
7:27 PM
by Gene
Posted
7:23 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:17 PM
by Gene
At this point we don't care. Ugly's going up on the site -- ugly and useless.
Posted
5:12 PM
by Gene
We wouldn't want to discourage advertising on the Web; it keeps it free. But can't sites redesign in a more surfer-friendly way?
Posted
5:04 PM
by Gene
If I had the moolah SENIOR wasted on those tickets I could live the rest of my life in Beverly Hills, which is near Los Angles.
Posted
1:23 PM
by Gene
So will the mizzus and you give up your gas-guzzlers? Didn't think so.
Posted
12:01 PM
by Gene
Why do people take Mr. Slut seriously anymore?
Posted
11:53 AM
by Gene
I think it's time for a Statler Brothers tune: "Whatever hap-pened to LIIIIIIIIIIIVE8888888888...." Over the past year several African leaders have increased dictatorial powers while fresh allegations of huge corruption have emerged. Of the world’s top ten failed states in the world in 2006, six are African. Yes, we MUST give them more money.
Posted
11:43 AM
by Gene
What can we protectors of truth, justice and the American way do? How about leaking more of our secrets? The dissenters, the four liberal members of the high court, bitterly complained about the decision. Bitter -- that's a liberal's middle name. Justice David H. Souter, writing one of two dissents.... WAIT! I thought he was CONSERVATIVE.
Posted
10:53 AM
by Gene
![]() ADAM!!!!! is IMPRESSED!!!!! Is the Woodster's adopted -- wife? Yep, I think we don't have to feel sorry for NOO YAWK any more. And Effete Edelstein, of all people, pans a movie -- THE movie -- and he says: It’s not that the movie is 157 minutes; it’s that it feels like 157 minutes. We feel that way about your reviews, Ef: it's not that they're 5,000 words -- it's that they FEEL like 5,000 words.
Posted
9:28 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:55 AM
by Gene
LONG LIVE THE PRESS!!!!! (Slightly emended from the P-Ulitzer-winning remarks of Bill "LE TRUTH C'EST MOI!" Keller)
Posted
8:51 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:37 AM
by Gene
And we've no doubt the HIP, ATTITUUUUDINAL "energy drinks" are NO BETTER.
Posted
8:22 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:20 AM
by Gene
Ghazi Hamad, the spokesman for the Hamas-led government, called on militants to treat the soldier well and keep him alive. SO WE CAN KILL HIM ON A VIDEO.
Posted
6:36 AM
by Gene
So long as the "college" experience is an empty one, we will have binge suicides.
Posted
6:31 AM
by Gene
Because Karl Rove is, for one thing I guess because he told you someday you'd pay less in taxes on all the millions you earn making ANNOYING TV COMMERCIALS. Or did he say he's launching plans for a Tricky Dick Memorial on the Mall? Sunday, June 25, 2006
Posted
8:46 PM
by Gene
It is a risky bet. Yes, I think we can call Christopher Caldwell's article "a must read" and "depressing."
Posted
8:19 PM
by Gene
Posted
8:16 PM
by Gene
We suspect in twenty years Their Foundation will make PC look right-wing.
Posted
7:05 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:55 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:53 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:45 PM
by Gene
• Spelling Left Indelible Stamp on TV • Spelling Was a Master of Television • Spelling Cured Cancer, Heart Disease No, I made that one up, but I almost expected not to.
Posted
12:40 PM
by Gene
Other grim economic logic contributes to the downward spiral of this section of Baltimore. Landlords don't want to make investments in properties that they do not expect to recoup in rents, and tenants don't want to, or can't, pay more rent for buildings that are in poor condition. Retail businesses don't move into neighborhoods without a critical mass of customers to support them, but no one willingly moves into neighborhoods with no amenities. One negative reinforces another. The only change is further deterioration. And the best laid plans of mice and legisla-TORS: Throughout the area are rowhouses in near-squalid condition that rent for under $300 a month, like one on the 1700 block of N. Bradford St. with a broken stove in the kitchen, holes in the living room walls and a barely functional faucet in the second-floor bathroom. While the city issues violations for such properties, there are also economic realities that militate against improving housing in distressed areas. Tenants can't afford to pay more, so landlords can't charge more and are less willing to invest in renovations. Housing deteriorates, properties are abandoned and real estate prices plunge. As this cycle accelerated in the 1990s, landlords joined many residents in flight from the brewery area. Complicating the matter is a 1994 law that set conditions and deadlines for landlords to rid rental units of dangerous levels of lead. While the law provides much-needed protection for children, it imposes significant costs on landlords, which some claim encourage abandonment. It can cost up to $10,000 to bring a rowhouse into compliance with state and city lead reduction laws, officials say. Baltimore rebuilt from a horrific fire in 1904. It can't rebuild now because, like the rest of America, it doesn't want to.
Posted
12:18 PM
by Gene
Okay, it's just $100,000 less -- but it's still LESS, and movies with any appeal SHOULDN'T do that. But since when has the biz made appealing movies? This is the FIFTH "big" movie to so underwhelm -- DVC!!!!!!!!!!, the X!!!!!!!!!!!, Nacho Man, Tokyo Speed Racers, and now this. THE CONSPIRACY can't stop HUGGING itself. Interesting how the ROOTKIT MOVIE CO. has "estimated" its cinematic doo-doo has done EXACTLY $40 MILLION. Why? So PAUL DRECK could scream, "THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE SMASH HIT!!!!!" And the movie with the strange looking bugs with eyes in what look like windshields (do you suppose that had something to do with the B. O.?) will not reach much above $200 million -- yet another movie that was supposed to do UMPTEEN MEGAZILLION. ESPNCorp's stock hasn't been lapping the field lately.
Posted
9:05 AM
by Gene
Tierney is planning to move into a part of the newspaper building once occupied by Walter Annenberg. He will work full time there, taking a salary he will not disclose. Once -- and again? Tierney is working not just the room but the region, the country! (Emphasis on the EXCLAMATION POINT added) Beware newspaper publishers who work COUNTRIES.
Posted
8:55 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:52 AM
by Gene
Hey Mr. Mark, if these people are so great why do you and your editors spend so much time schmoozing in Hollywood?
Posted
8:43 AM
by Gene
We would take him more seriously if WaPostCo didn't own TV stations. We would take him more seriously if news hacks didn't have their rebellion shtick and didn't turn every kind of public affront into a cause. We would take him more seriously if we didn't have this notion news hacks and their related brethren in show-biz didn't care, and if they hadn't reduced the First Amendment to a mea culpa and a marketing tool. In short, though quite well-meaning, we can't help thinking this defensive posturing from a business that knows we can't stand its guts. Saturday, June 24, 2006
Posted
6:26 PM
by Gene
Can anyone doubt that capitalist dictatorship is the future and that it now has the economic might to play tricks with the rest of the world for decades to come? ``China is still a developing country,'' Chinese central bank Governor Zhou Xiaochuan told reporters in Basel, Switzerland, where he is attending the Bank for International Settlements annual meeting. `` We need growth. We need it to solve a lot of economic problems. We need it to have a poverty reduction.'' Knock it off, Zhou, you need growth so you can bully mean Uncle Sam, and so you can be numero uno in manufacturing EVERYTHING. A question we may ask of con-SER-va-tives: what's the diff between China and their long-time-favorite nation Singapore? Land mass, population and a Little Red Book nobody reads.
Posted
1:15 PM
by Gene
At what point does this celebrated cardboard-and-Scotch-tape system break down? And how easily?
Posted
1:06 PM
by Gene
And he was once Brooke Shields's husband. That's how far it's fallen.
Posted
10:15 AM
by Gene
Philadelphia Phillies hurler Brett Myers punched his wife and dragged her down Dalton Street by her hair early yesterday, police allege, but that won’t stop him from taking the mound at Fenway this weekend. Our kind of SPORT!
Posted
9:56 AM
by Gene
Sadly, the nation's drug abuse situation is not much better after 20 years. Jeez, I wouldn't have guessed.
Posted
9:45 AM
by Gene
P. S. USAOKAY!!!!!.com is upset; it's calling him LEGENDARY (home page only; they have the same Bob "The Stenographer" Thomas piece, which amazingly doesn't use the word). But then not much upsets a news hack other than a Republican in the White House, and America winning a war. P. P. S. The MESS is upset too; it's calling him an "innovator." What did he innovate? Jiggle? A puzzlement: he produced 3,000 TV shows, a record we hope stands forever. (So says the home-page squib; it's not in the story.) But during the war he was "[w]ounded by a sniper's bullet" and "was decorated with a Bronze Star Medal and a Purple Heart with oak-leaf cluster." Go figure it was the same man. Friday, June 23, 2006
Posted
5:36 PM
by Gene
Little Known About N. Korea's Intentions You hacks seem to have learned of our secret programs; why not go to North Korea and learn about theirs? Oh. It won't bring down a president. "Experts" and "analysts" appear three time each in this story, meaning it was probably composed entirely in a news suite.
Posted
5:34 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:28 PM
by Gene
![]() Eggheads ponder THE EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY and his POISONING of DEMOCRACY -- and in the meantime they ponder other things: ? [SIC] "Risk Avoidance: Graphs Versus Numbers" by Hannah Faye C. Chua, Frank J. Yates and Priti Shah, Memory & Cognition, Vol. 34, No. 2. University of Michigan researchers find that people are more likely to buy an improved but more expensive new toothpaste if the probabilities of getting gum disease are expressed visually in a chart than if they are expressed numerically. ? [SIC] "Disability, Gender and Difference on The Sopranos" by Kathleen LeBesco. Women's Studies in Communication, Vol. 29, No. 1. A Marymount-Manhattan College communications professor argues that story lines in the hit TV show "The Sopranos" that feature mob boss Tony Soprano's one-legged mistress and the "morbidly obese" wife of a crony send mixed messages about the disabled. Perhaps it is time they pondered something more important. (Via, oh well, The Corner)
Posted
3:09 PM
by Gene
Free the Saudi prince! PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!! Where's Whorvis Communications when you need it?
Posted
2:52 PM
by Gene
![]() GREG'S EXCITED AGAIN BECAUSE THERE'S A STORY ABOUT ANOTHER ATROCITY IN IRAQ!!!!!!!!!! Greg is an excellent argument for obedience school, and for outlawing pit bulls.
Posted
2:33 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:41 PM
by Gene
Good luck!
Posted
1:28 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:20 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:11 AM
by Gene
When will the CLUNKER BROTHERS learn the Japanese don't use incentives?
Posted
10:07 AM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: They did illegally what other media execs do LEGALLY.
Posted
9:41 AM
by Gene
When will some folks learn we must be extra vigilant of plots by M-----s, whether it hurts people's feelings or not?
Posted
9:06 AM
by Gene
And apparently the great Kos didn't even run it. Too busy boasting.
Posted
8:28 AM
by Gene
WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT STORY, SUPERJERKS?
Posted
8:23 AM
by Gene
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO TONY!!!!!
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8:11 AM
by Gene
But the franchisees are furious. Thursday, June 22, 2006
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7:32 PM
by Gene
global warming solutions [SIC] We have the technology and ingenuity to reduce the threat of global warming today. Solutions are already available that will stimulate the American economy by creating jobs, saving consumers money, and protecting our national security. By investing in renewable energy and energy efficiency, and increasing the efficiency of the cars we drive, we can take essential steps toward reducing our dependence on oil and other fossil fuels that cause global warming. Using energy more efficiently and moving to renewable energy (wind, solar, geothermal, and bioenergy) would significantly reduce our emissions of heat-trapping gases. The United States currently produces 70 percent of its electricity from fossil fuels such as coal, natural gas, and oil, but only two percent from renewable sources. Since the burning of fossil fuels releases large amounts of carbon dioxide—the leading cause of global warming—but renewable energy does not, increasing the share of our electricity generated from renewable resources is one of the most effective ways to reduce global warming emissions. Cars and trucks are another significant source (25 percent) of U.S. carbon dioxide emissions. A serious effort to address global warming must therefore reduce emissions from cars and trucks. Many technologies already exist that can do this, while also creating new jobs in the U.S. automotive sector and other industries throughout the country. In addition, American consumers would save billions of dollars on gasoline, and we would reduce our dependence on foreign oil. By putting energy efficiency, renewable energy, and vehicle technology solutions in place at the federal level, we can reduce our contribution to global warming while creating a stronger, healthier, and more secure nation. It gases about "we can take essential steps toward reducing our dependence on oil and other fossil fuels that cause global warming." How? It says we can solve global warming while "creating jobs, saving consumers money, and protecting our national security." How? It says it's all for "renewable sources." How? It says it's for "reducing emission from cars and trucks." How? It says we'll "creat[e] a stronger, healthier, and more secure nation." HOW? This is the kind of soothing blatherskite you expect from a lobbying group with a Washington office. Any fifth-rate senator or Congresspoop could have written it. Jack Abramoff or Sammy Glickman could have written it. The frauds at WHORVIS COMMUNICATIONS could have written it. These people have no concrete suggestions for how to reverse global warming. They have nothing to say because somewhere in their hermetically-sealed reinforced-concrete skulls they must sense reversing global warming "will entail extreme sacrifice, millions of jobs lost -- and IT MAY NOT WORK."
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5:16 PM
by Gene
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5:09 PM
by Gene
Which receded a little bit more into the future today.
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4:56 PM
by Gene
Okay eggheads, ALGORE: you say an awful thing's about to happen. WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE TO STOP IT? PUT YOUR PANACEAS WHERE YOUR BIG FAT MOUTHS ARE.
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3:35 PM
by Gene
Why must so many be left or right rather than just trying to be RIGHT?
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2:07 PM
by Gene
What makes Jerry "Sieg Heil" Yang and Terry "Mr. Warner Bros." Semel stink? Hint: A five-letter word that begins with a C. (Via Search Engine Watch)
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1:57 PM
by Gene
Really, the hacks MUST stop quoting PAUL DRECK. How long has Marty owned TNR?
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1:38 PM
by Gene
And a courageous, er, "Republican" senator gets on his hands and knees and begs his fellow reactionaries to please, please, please leave Iraq someday!
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1:24 PM
by Gene
Sorry Don, Notre Dame is just another football factory with a few convenient crosses. What's more: it appears some of NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN's SPIN has rubbed off on Don: The New York Times, which also came in for some of Bill's dishonorable mention, has not endorsed the winner in the last two presidential elections. TRANSLATION: 1. I just got my start in the news biz yesterday! 2. Are you sure it was a gang rape? You know how these guys are, give them a few beers and they talk dirty. It wasn't a gang rape or any rape, and sure we can get that spin out. Just hope the alums believe it. (Via the usual Romy)
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1:10 PM
by Gene
And SHERRY'S RETIRING, dammit! If only all Republicans were like him! Maybe he can change his mind and save the world.
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9:36 AM
by Gene
And consider the even bigger picture: Economists estimate that all information technology, including PCs, contributed about one-third of the 2% average annual U.S. productivity growth since 1995. So -- MAYBE PCs contributed to a .66% annual growth in "productivity." And how much of that "productivity" was negated by balky software, BSODs, spam, bad Web connections, and needless PowerPoint presentations? And MSFT is down 60 PERCENT since its high. That's a big productivity boost also.
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9:09 AM
by Gene
In the upside down world of the insane asylum on the Hill, nothing.
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9:06 AM
by Gene
Believe that and you can believe I have a farm in Illinois I'll sell you for $1. Wednesday, June 21, 2006
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6:08 PM
by Gene
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5:13 PM
by Gene
So -- who's the REAL newsman?!?!?
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5:00 PM
by Gene
![]() Sorry, CEOs, we are not impressed. The modern businessman will only do the right thing at the point of a gun -- or a lawsuit, or a law. He has delegated so much moral authority away he cannot be moral even if he tried. Moreover the real lesson of Enron and MCI Worldcom to too many execs is that Kenny and Bernie and the gangs could have gotten away with it. Being PC is not being good, either. Little Jeffy has tried polishing His environmental bonafides -- why is He still in broadcasting, a known air pollutant? And CEOs still reserve the right to pay themselves outlandish salaries and engage in other anti-social behavior for profit -- like playing checkers with their offices and factories at taxpayer expense, or burdening the Federal government in perpetuity by unloading their companies' pension plans. We will believe CEOs are responsible when we see it -- and we expect to see Jesus return and walk on water first.
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10:59 AM
by Gene
This makes perfect sense. Professor has his catchphrases; Andy bloviates on Hershey bars. They're both masters of the superficial.
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9:37 AM
by Gene
The Bubble is Back! (Via the SLOW IWantMedia.com)
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9:16 AM
by Gene
What a waste. For all that money the League of Nations could have built new HQ in Riyadh...or Caracas...or Havana...or Tehran...or PYONGYANG.
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9:13 AM
by Gene
The strongest brand in America -- drum roll, please -- is Reynolds Wrap. Yes, the thinly supported brand of thin-sliced aluminum owned by heavy-industry titan Alcoa, which got all of $7.5 million in media support last year as measured by TNS Media Intelligence, has the strongest brand equity in the U.S., according to Harris Interactive. [Emphasis added]
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8:37 AM
by Gene
(Via the intractable Romy)
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8:32 AM
by Gene
Meantime, down in the trenches, the hard-working six- and seven-digit hairspray testers grumble because the people in the corporate stratosphere don't know what it's like to turn MS Word superscripts into IBM Selectric ones.
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6:43 AM
by Gene
Yes, the "Rev." Wildmon is a prunish crank and Roy "The Gay Divorcee" Blunt is a hypocrite; but JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP is a FRAUD and SAMMY GLICKMAN is a BLITHERING TWERP. And thanks to one of Sammy's overeager types who bowed down before the lord Jack THE CONSPIRACY has a Procter-and-Gamble-666-style controversy stuck to its name. The Conspiracy, unlike P&G, deserves it. Tuesday, June 20, 2006
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5:01 PM
by Gene
[W]hat we really must admit about history is that it sticks to an unforgiving big picture. Ask your twentysomething friends or your summer interns if they can identify these names: Chet Huntley, Douglas Edwards, John Chancellor, Howard K. Smith, Harry Reasoner, Frank Reynolds. Rather may be about as well-known as Drew Pearson or Lowell Thomas to the next generation.... Well we remember them enough to know the third on the list at one point insisted his name be pronounced Chancell-OR. But we do remember them, though we're not twentysomething or a summer intern. Chet Huntley said "Good night, David" and sang at a piano bar for American Airlines; Douglas Edwards droned into a radio mike for forty years; Howard K. Smith emceed a Kennedy-Nixon debate and acquired lots of leather-bound books he never read; Harry Reasoner was mildly sardonic and vaguely suggested Barney Rubble; Frank Reynolds died of several diseases so Peter Jennings could take his place; Drew Pearson pounded tables and "appeared as himself in the 1951 science fiction film The Day the Earth Stood Still"; and Lowell Thomas showed in tons of ads and emceed This is Cinerama. Why we should further remember them is beyond us, though we must confess they had a dignity, a dignity as vanished as their reporting.
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4:57 PM
by Gene
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12:17 PM
by Gene
Movie theater advertising revenues rose 20.6% in 2005, according to a report released Monday by the Cinema Advertising Council.
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12:13 PM
by Gene
Hasta la vista, courage, and (repeat five times) good night, and good luck. Did they type this up in Word?
Posted
10:53 AM
by Gene
TALEBAN fighters used women and children as human shields as they tried to escape into the mountains of Afghanistan, British troops claimed yesterday. Hey Dems! Think we can run screaming from there too?
Posted
10:32 AM
by Gene
In the last two years of life, Medicare spent an average of $38,872 on chronically ill patients in the Philadelphia region. That compares with a national averge of $29,199. This area was the 20th-most expensive of the nation's 307 hospital referral regions, the study found. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Schuylkill is just 330 feet wide at Walnut Street, but by other measuring sticks, Center City and West Philadelphia are far more distant neighbors. The west bank's tangle of rail lines, its grimy industrial remains, the roaring expressway - all have served to further cleave the city. That divide could begin to narrow next year, when the University of Pennsylvania embarks on an epic riverfront redevelopment project. It is expected to take more than two decades, cost $1.94 billion and, as high hopes go, ultimately meld Center City and West Philadelphia into one big, lively city core. Endorsed by the university trustees on Thursday, Penn's plan is to revitalize 40 acres from Walnut Street to just below South Street on the campus' eastern edge. On what is now an eyesore of a site, office towers, condos and research centers would rise amid new athletic fields and recreation spaces, shops and restaurants. There is even talk of an elegant pedestrian bridge arcing the Schuylkill.... The riverfront revitalization will be the most visible part - but only a part - of Penn's eastward expansion. A new 400-bed residence hall is planned for 33d and Chestnut, and a nanotechnology research center for 32d and Walnut. Below South Street, Penn's medical school and health system also have long-term plans to expand east, with an estimated 1.55 million gross square feet available. The cost of all planned construction: $6.7 billion. Are these stories related? NAH, don't think so.
Posted
9:22 AM
by Gene
No. 2: Of her singing, she gloated, "It makes Maury cringe." As well she might. (Via the inevitable Romy)
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6:48 AM
by Gene
DR. EVIL! YOU HAVE COMPETITION! And GREAT THINKING from SUPERMARIO: "Society is constantly shifting and evolving, for better of [SIC!!!!!] worse." So if it's shifting for the worse let's not do anything, right Mario? No wonder you weren't prez.
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6:43 AM
by Gene
Hey OKAY!!!!! I like the way you play with the size of my window when you run a pop-up ad!
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6:30 AM
by Gene
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO MEG! Monday, June 19, 2006
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5:41 PM
by Gene
A source, very close to AlterNet commented: "If Imelda Marcos had had a daughter, her name would have been Connie Chung." Rather’s seen “Good Night and Good Luck” five times They both have that VIDEO. P. S. Now I know that couple's cheesy: they didn't hire a PIANO PLAYER.
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5:23 PM
by Gene
Stocks in doghouse M&A set for record
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5:20 PM
by Gene
I guess he would being safely re-ensconced into power.
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5:15 PM
by Gene
Just one problem: they run the country.
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5:12 PM
by Gene
I'm all for competition. Maybe it'll improve the food.
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2:24 PM
by Gene
We prefer to think of eBay as a casino -- and lately the house has started having trouble winning.
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2:07 PM
by Gene
And he was officially finished with it, writing: "Rather than continue to coddle the Court's delusion that the desired level of fairness has been achieved and the need for regulation eviscerated, I feel morally and intellectually obligated simply to concede that the death penalty experiment has failed." The question isn't whether executions can be made painless: it's whether they're wrong. Everything else is just quibbling. And most of the quibbling simply boils down to trying to make the wrong seem right. (June 18) The Institute for Women's Policy Research is a nonprofit, nonpartisan group supported by foundation and government grants. In its most recent assessment of the overall condition of American women, it named Mississippi the worst state in the country. It was also named the worst state for women in 1998, 2000 and 2002. It ranked 49th in terms of women in elected office, and at the bottom of the list for health and well-being, including the incidence of diabetes and deaths from cancer and heart disease. The institute ranked Mississippi worst in the nation for reproductive rights. Protesters have vowed to shut down the state's sole remaining abortion clinic, which is in Jackson. Sometimes you don't even have to state an opinion. You just have to state the facts. (January 24) Computer? What's a COMPUTER?
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1:52 PM
by Gene
Hmmm, I wonder what THE RUPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s subliminal message is: NOT ME?
Posted
11:56 AM
by Gene
To be fair, the commenters reacting to Pontificator's post did get around to more important topics, like Byron York's cellphone. "For the record, Byron York's cellphone rang during the Plame panel," said QuickSilver. Shayera said it rang either "two or three times. And I'm sure about that." QuickSilver just had to know if York checked his caller ID before he answered it. He did, says Shayera of the man she called Byron "big hair" York. "I was two tables back and to the right, so I had a perfect view." QuickSilver, Shayera, we salute your reporting. Stellar stuff. Thanks for showing us the way. Thanks for not just working it out in workshop, where the words disappear into the ether. But for putting it down, in black and white, where it can be read forever by the netroots, who need something to read while "Crashing the Gate," as Kos put it. And we can talk about this and so much else on Daily Kos. About the netroots and People Power and Byron York's Byronic locks and cellphone habits. And we can talk, and talk, and talk some more, even when we've run out of things to say.
Posted
11:35 AM
by Gene
The studies give more weight to a 17-year-old theory that the sanitized Western world may be partly to blame for soaring rates of human allergy and asthma cases and some autoimmune diseases, such as Type I diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis. Okay, let's go back to the good ol' days of MALARIA and TYPHOID and DYSENTERY and TB -- diseases brought on by our CLEAN LIVING! (Via ArtsJournal, which occasionally goes into overdrive hunting down such tripe)
Posted
11:22 AM
by Gene
"I just can't believe I did that," Mickelson said early Sunday evening, his face still glassy with sweat after making [SIC] a double bogey on the 72nd hole to turn a one-stroke lead into a monumental -- and history-changing -- collapse. HISSSSSSSSSSSSTORRRRRRRRRRRRY-CHANGING! LIKE BUNKER HILL! LIKE PEARL HARBOR! LIKE...WRONG-WAY CHOKING AT THE OPEN! HISSSSSSSSSSSSTORRRRRRRRRRRRY-CHANGING!
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11:15 AM
by Gene
More such noble thinking and KOS will elect more Democrats!
Posted
10:40 AM
by Gene
For the first seven weeks of Hollywood's extended summer season, grosses are up 0.2% but attendance is down 2.8%. The season's next key release comes Friday, when Sony Pictures' comedy "Click," starring Adam Sandler, opens at more than 3,500 theaters. ![]()
Posted
9:59 AM
by Gene
P. S. This is possibly the first day we've ever linked to TWO Wall Street Journals stories -- and the last for three years.
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9:46 AM
by Gene
Marketing may overcome flacks, but it cannot overcome posterity. (Via MediaBistro)
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9:06 AM
by Gene
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8:48 AM
by Gene
Helen Thomas says White House reporters were more lapdogs than watchdogs during the buildup to the war. CNN's John King tells Peter Johnson: "I just don't buy it, but I say this carefully because Helen is a god [SIC!!!!!] in our business...." And she looks it.
Posted
8:36 AM
by Gene
(Via the usual ArtsJournal.com) Sunday, June 18, 2006
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7:25 PM
by Gene
And this was "shocking" too! Any word used by DA POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and DA NOOZ and DA GREG is not worth using.
Posted
7:18 PM
by Gene
'WASH POST' OBTAINS SHOCKING MEMO FROM U.S. EMBASSY IN BAGHDAD!!!!! DETAILS INCREASING DANGER AND HARDSHIP!!!!!!!!!! How 'bout it, Greg? Worse than HIROSHIMA?
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1:09 PM
by Gene
Did you hear the one about Bill Gates at the Pearly Gates? Of course you didn't, because I just made it up. It goes like this: Some years in the future, Bill heads for his final reward. He pulls up at the reception desk, where all his earthly deeds are placed in the balance. "In the last few decades, I've been solving humanity's biggest problems," he explains modestly. "Through my foundation, I've wiped out malaria and AIDS, cured cancer, ended Third World malnutrition, and sent a billion poor children to school." "Hmmm, very good," replies the gatekeeper, peering closely at the heavenly scales. "Your charitable works are most impressive. On balance, they just about make up for Microsoft Word." The TWO BILLS are Boomers to the core, and in reflecting on their profound work we must ask, what will they leave behind? IE and the meaning of IS. They should reflect that they wouldn't be around but for global cataclysm. Who had more impact? Hitler and Tojo for starting a war -- and FDR for finishing it? Or the TWO BILLS with their blend of monomania and bathos, forcing people every day into their trivial pursuits? Moreover this is the 37th year of THE ME DECADE, which Boomers have dominated utterly. Who can ponder any year of the decade without cringing? The Twenties (to give an example) were a majestic time, and those who lived through it can point to dozens of lasting achievements of the mind and the spirit with pride -- Lindbergh's heroism, for one. What can we look back to in this age? Disco? Leisure suits? Dallas? Friends? Oprah? [C]RAP?? Tonya and Nancy? Reality TV? Please! How apt that the defining moments of the decade have been abject catastrophes: the great national nervous breakdown of the seventies, 9/11 toward the end. Only the late eighties, with their false hope of world liberation, broke the trend, and no one saw Islam coming. We can look back to the Revolution and the Civil War and see heroes. When the future looks back at us, with swine like Nixon and cowards like Carter and caricatures like The TWO BILLS leading it, it will laugh, and sneer.
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12:48 PM
by Gene
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