Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
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Thursday, January 31, 2008
Senator McCain's 96-year old mother Roberta says the republican [SIC] base will ultimately accept her son, the frontrunner.
"I think holding their nose they're going to have to take him," she told C-SPAN recently. What an INSPIRING choice.
Wonderful:
A Harris Interactive survey for Zillow.com in December found that 36% of homeowners thought their homes had increased in value over the past year, vs. 23% who thought they had decreased. That willful optimism translates directly into the record overhang of unsold existing homes: more than 4 million. And we know where all that increase will go. Ah-NULT: John, I'dt be glahhht to be yourrr VIZZZZZZZZE-PRREZIDENT! Boobs: Happy to oblige Arnold, but, uh....
Elsewhere in The Big Double-A Scribble, we learn YUM! Brands is showing off:
KFC Corp. has cooked up a tasty bit of ambush marketing for the Super Bowl, but what if the players turn out to be too chicken to play along? The Louisville, Ky.-based chicken chain on Jan. 17 said it would make a charitable donation of $260,000 to "Colonel's Scholars" in the name of the first player or entertainment performer who does the wing-flapping part of the wedding perennial "chicken dance" for three seconds in the end zone. The campaign is designed to promote KFC's hot wings.... This is ambush marketing (we had to correct our post), meaning the NFL got a little mad, and there are no luxury suites to defend. Should a company called CLOROX criticize the ingredients of its rivals' beauty potions? All RIGHT, we had an excuse.
The StinkyInky's ah-chi-tect-tyuh cri-TIC proposes a veritable rebuild of the Quonset Hut Mausoleum on Broad, meaning hundreds of millions and no guarantee the Hut becomes any more inviting. Multiply this by dozens and you have all the billions squandered on AHT projects, Pruitt-Igoes for rich people.
P. S. [I]t's worth asking ourselves how things went so wrong at the Kimmel. It was the first of six major civic buildings (Independence Visitors' Center, the two new stadiums, etc.) started during the Rendell administration. All suffer to varying degrees from the same off-putting feeling on their ground floors. Why? Because EDDIE wouldn't catch himself DEAD on the GROUND FLOOR!
Speaking of America's Center of Pointless Oneupmanship, its denizens have been engaged in a vigorous debate all day over Boobs McKeating's graduation rank in the Naval Academy. You'd think the Web site of a rag founded by Bill "Bach B-Minor Mass" Buckley, who said he'd rather be governed by the first 200 (or 2,000, depending on the source) names in the Boston phone book than by the Harvard faculty, would have instantly recognized the debate's irrelevance, but there is no telling people who work so hard at being themselves irrelevant.
Perhaps the entire CORNER agglomeration and other obsessive fans of THE GREATEST ANIMATED SERIES OF ALL TIME, voice of skepticism and reason and wit, can explain THIS ONE.
That SLIME is running this endorses His supreme belief that any publicity is good publicity, the history of His company notwithstanding. (Via MediaBistro)
UHHHH....
Bristol-Myers Squibb Co. narrowed its loss in the fourth quarter as surging sales of its anti- clotting pill Plavix partially offset charges for costs that include investments backed by subprime securities. Who ELSE owns this scrap paper?
DIMWITS:
Some analysts are predicting that Super Bowl XLII may break a record of 94.1 million viewers, set in 1996, because of the possibility that the Patriots will finish the N.F.L. season undefeated. Oh, no, Madison Avenue frets. What if the game proves more interesting than the commercials? Remember, MORONS, programming is mere FILLER for your ADS.
What a ride it has been, literally. I’ve worked for some of the biggest and best newspapers in the country – the L.A. Times, the Detroit Free-Press, USA Today – and among them, they have sent me to Borneo, Thailand, North Africa, the Amazon, throughout Europe and from Costa Rica to Alaska on this continent.
I got certified as a SCUBA diver to report on the underwater scenes in the Bahamas with Tom Hanks and Darryl Hannah for Ron Howard’s “Splash!” I’ve sung (not well) with Rod Steiger in a restaurant in Durango, Mexico, played golf (not well, either) with Clint Eastwood on the Monterrey Peninsula, and spent a total of six months of spring on the French Riviera covering the Cannes Film Festival. With these two grafs, Jack has conclusively shown why the sooner newspapers rid themselves of their movie ad-blurbists, the better. Now Mark Steyn wants to make himself irrelevant. What IS with these con-SER-va-tives and their worship of Corporate America? "Undoubtedly there are 'greedy people on Wall Street'. Why should he and his chums be the ones who decide whether they need to be 'punished'?" Well, Guinness Book Record Holder for Most Columns Written in an Hour, if his chums include, say, the Attorney General, or the FBI director, or the chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission, they may have a reason. Mind you, just may. Also, there's rumor of some EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL document Teddy and his chums may use to persecute con-SER-va-tives' heroes. It's called The Federal Register.
Is there any escaping Chinese quality control?
It couldn't have happened to a nicer company, however.
Proud members of the American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers intend to raise prices to spend on advertising so they can hoodwink the public into thinking it's getting something for the money -- but:
[A]nalysts don't expect a quick fix. "Irene & Co. are confronting long-term problems that will take some time to solve," Wachovia analyst Jonathan Feeney said in a report. "For example, the problem in the cheese business isn't so much costs, it is that brand equity and product differentiation are well below average -- not something that can be fixed overnight." TRANSLATION: How different are brands of prepackaged cheese slices -- or instant coffee? Wednesday, January 30, 2008
We understand why con-SER-va-tives don't trust Boobs McKeating, but if we get a president who wears it on his sleeve that he works with Democrats they can blame their Congressional heroes' MALFEASANCE, which promises to keep the GOP from control for a long time.
In more outstanding news of FREE EN-TER-PRISE at work:
Eli Lilly and federal prosecutors are discussing a settlement of a civil and criminal investigation into the company’s marketing of the antipsychotic drug Zyprexa that could result in Lilly’s paying more than $1 billion to federal and state governments. Let's see, what could con-SER-va-tives say? Shakedown, extortion, socialism -- but Big Pharma sorta got in this fix when it let MadAve portray its every drug as a cure for cancer and bad sex. And all that talk about the billions Big Pharma selflessly spends seems more than a little hollow these days. OH oh, now the hard-core TEDDY haters will REALLY be mad: Schwarzenegger to back McCain for president Somebody named Suderman says Lame Duck's "stimulus" package is ineffective and possibly unnecessary, something one can agree with given the excellence of the Sausage Factory on the Potomac; but then perhaps hoping his readers wouldn't click on the link he suggests for an alternative a Republican House plan which includes: 2) Significant Reduction in the Top Corporate Tax Rate. 3) End the Capital Gains Tax on Inflation. 4) Simplify the Capital Gains Rate Structure. In short, gifts for Richie Rich, which would probably lead to all sorts of Richie Rich-style things like forcing ordinary people to pay more taxes, while vastly helping .001 percent of the population, the percent that needs no help. Paying small "rebates" to poor and middle-class people is a practical irrelevance, as money with these classes goes too fast and buys too little; but giving out more lavish Tiffany-boxed candy treats to people who spell their names with dollar signs hearkens to why the Republican Congress had an infestation of RED-STATE SCORPIONS. "1)" is "Full, Immediate Expensing" [sic], and we have no idea what this means, but since the House GOP hacks say "this provision would encourage the purchase of assets with which to grow a business" we presume this means a new generation of LEGENDARY WELCHES and THREE-HEADED DOGS buybuybuying -- and the old one was enough. At any rate this is sheer cheap posturing, as Scott and his gang of majority-seekers knew this was about as likely to pass as Speaker Babs is to endorse Ron Paul.
And here's a new way for the hacks to excuse themselves: by blasting their empty coverage of all the media events they're too eager to cover.
(Via the usual Romy)
And now the ad biz is engaged in an equally infuriating form of pretentious head banging because people may not remember who pays for all those SUPER BORE ads that allow the companies' CEOs to sit in 50-yard luxury boxes and scream for months thereafter, "I WAS AT THE SUPER BOWL AND YOU WEREN'T!!!!!"
IMBECILES!
Another excuse for the FILLUM biz:
Oscar-nominated films are often small, dark and unintended for mass audiences; they're about art, after all, not commerce. Which CERTAINLY explains such small, dark, unintended-for-mass-audience best picture Os-CAR® nominees as 42nd Street, Little Women, The Private Life of Henry VIII, The Gay Divorcée, The Thin Man, David Copperfield, Top Hat, San Francisco, The Awful Truth, Captains Courageous, The Adventures of Robin Hood, Jezebel, Pygmalion, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Stagecoach, The Wizard of Oz, Wuthering Heights -- and that's just the thirties! And I haven't even mentioned the winners! Which has NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, to do with the fact that now a big-city daily is without a full-time movie ad-blurbist. In truth THE CONSPIRACY can't make a decent movie to save its life, and all but cedes the fall season to the ad-blurbists, who engage in a CIRCLE JERK over the small, dark, unintended-for-mass-audience films the biz makes because the ad-blurbists encourage the film extruders to mistake them for quality. Given how these IDIOTS have helped bring down the film biz we DO NOT NEED THEM, and as for the pictures it goes without saying. And that our excuser quotes PAUL DRECK means a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO CHRISTY! Tuesday, January 29, 2008
GM exec: Car prices could jump
This sounds like a hope, and there's reason to believe it could happen -- but we would like to see it happen in a biz so intensely competitive and that, however gutted out our domestic biz is, still is in the economic driver's seat. And if Wal-Mart's nascent effort to sell hybrids becomes more than a token gesture you can throw this notion completely out the window.
Viacom Chief Says Company Is `Recession-Resistant'
The possibility of a recession led Goldman Sachs Group Inc. to reduce profit estimates for media companies including Viacom and Disney. Goldman said Jan. 9 that Viacom's earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization may gain 6 percent this year, down from a previous prediction of 8 percent. Overall, traditional advertising sales in the U.S. will decline 3 percent to 5 percent this year, Goldman estimates. [Eighth and ninth grafs] NUF SAID. (Via IWantMedia)
Call us starved for a woman, but really, the snidemasters should lay off Keely. Yes, she should lose some weight, and yes, maybe she shouldn't have worn a bikini within sight of a paparazzo, but she's not that bad for a 43-year-old.
An...interesting juxtaposition on the Big Double-A-Scribble's site:
Primary Tally So Far: 160,000 TV Spots and $141M in Spending In Politics, Web Surpasses TV for Under-30 Voters
Margaret Truman Daniel, who was famous for the letter her father sent to a music critic, and later wrote a slew of ghosted mysteries in her name, has died. RIP.
The only difference between Hillary v. JFK Lincoln and John the Don v. The Former Jesus Christ is that neither media mafioso ever claimed to be holy.
Monday, January 28, 2008
After the State of the Union
On the north end of the Capitol, Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.) will give a YouTube response here after the Democrats are done with their response. ...and then a Democrat will give his YouTube response to the YouTube response, then a Republican will give his YouTube response to the YouTube response to the Democrats' response, then.... Don't these @#$%^& campaigns ever end?
"This year more than most, the real winner of the Super Bowl will be the advertisers," sez the Big Double-A Scribble, neglecting to mention that every year the CEOs are winners:
Consider fourth-quarter spots, which have long been considered rolls of the dice....This year, the risk is much smaller than that potential reward because of the Patriots' pursuit of an unprecedented 19-0 record, which is expected to keep viewers glued to the game's closing moments. In an earlier interview, Bob Lachky [pronounced lackey or latchkey?], exec VP-global industry and creative development at Anheuser-Busch, the game's heaviest advertiser, said interest in seeing the Patriots make -- or fail to make -- history figures to bolster fourth-quarter viewership regardless of the score. (A-B has one ad scheduled for the fourth quarter.) Even if the JINTS win in a blowout? Which we rather hope to spite your faces in the luxury boxes. P. S. Sorry for that aside, but dammit so many CEOs and their enablers want to shake us upside-down by the ankles to finance their daydreams.
Unlocked iPhones generate 50 percent less revenue and as much as 75 percent less profit than those tethered to service contracts, Sacconaghi said. If 30 percent of the 10 million iPhones Chief Executive Officer Steve Jobs plans to sell this year are unlocked, Apple's earnings may be lower by about 37 cents a share in each of the next two years, Sacconaghi said.
TRANSLATION: Geeks do not like being dictated to, even by the Lord God Steve.
An in yet another example of the hold RENDELLISM has on our mu-ni-CI-pal types, the Windy City just expelled a big fat gust of hot air with big-shouldered margins to prove its "music" making is a money-making activity!
An industry employing 53,000 people in any metropolitan area is large enough to merit at least some attention from policymakers. But more workers are employed by many other industries in and around Chicago. Why should policymakers care about this small subset of the city’s total employment? Because you can't go around boasting that YOU know the owner of a clothing factory! (Via one of America's leading recorded...SOUND flacks via the annoying ArtsJournal)
Our favorite press-agent Rog again:
But what do these prognostications really mean? I recently read a two-week-old issue of Entertainment Weekly that used the predictions of a half dozen of those professional Oscar bloggers. No one got anything right! It was very funny. If all that energy was used to solve the Earth’s real problems … It would be on a collision course with the sun. Say, if the real-estate hucksters could take care of Branson East, why can't they create an all-new Branson West? Who wants to guess those beautiful theaters end up being wards of the state -- if they find any bookings at all? Some question whether Broadway needs a face-lift. UCLA law professor Gary Blasi noted that the Latino-oriented businesses have stood the test of time. "Unless you have a different vision, aesthetically and ethnically, then why?" Blasi said. Ask EDDIE!
Spears Has `mental [SIC] Issues,' Friend Says
We say Spears has overexposure "issues", which led to every "issue" that followed, not least the "ISSUE" of news hacks wallpapering their properties with her every blasted minute.
He is a leader who refuses to be trapped in the patterns of the past; he is a leader who sees the world clearly without being cynical. He is a fighter who believes passionately in the causes he believes in without demonizing those who hold a different view.
For that "one brief shining moment" we can believe Sen. Fatso Glub Glub was sincere. Make no mistake: as a public speaker he remains miles ahead of the competition, because of the Kennedy blood in his veins; but he has served long enough to know every trick in the book (which explains the talk of his considering retirement after he's dictated his memoirs because he doesn't want to be yoked to a walker and an IV on the Senate floor); he is too much the Kennedy to see beyond the past, and he is too much the cynic to believe there isn't a place in politics for demonizing. Make no mistake here too: after six months of President Oprah and all the loonies he'll place in every branch of government he may start complaining of demonizing on his own accord. We wonder if our beloved GUVNOR is lending his ideas to other nations, for the idea of a Titanic white elephant (based on the movie, we can be sure) is the ultimate expression of Rendellism, where industry is replaced by mass dishwashing, and bustle is replaced by museums, all in the name of the patented buncombe of the "tourist economy."
No longer a saint, as in ST. WARREN:
Still, there is no doubt that the Lampert luster has faded; comparisons to Mr. Buffett have quieted in recent months. “He did really well on Autozone,” said Bruce Greenwald, a professor of finance and economics at Columbia University. “Most of his stocks are retail stocks, and he has done really well with them. So he decided he was a genius at retail, and it didn’t occur to him he could be wrong about it. He believed his own press.” [Emphasis added; LAST TWO GRAFS OF A FOUR-PAGE STORY] Sunday, January 27, 2008
The fool King of Commentary JPod links to an "amateur" video by the extremely busy Internet consultant B. S. DEFENDER of David Gurgle "boogieing" at Davos and vaguely channeling the Casanova CFO.
One may laugh -- I cringed -- but would Harry Truman have boogied? Or FDR? Or Lincoln? Or Washington? Or maybe their cabinet members, like Gen. Marshall? Or Henry Stimson? Or Edwin M. Stanton? I believe any of these men would have thrown David Gurgle out of a third-story window. But then we could easily have thrown the whole Davos contingent off the Dofourspitze and the world would have breathed much easier. Heck we don't think Jeff or Alexander Hamilton would have boogied either, for what that's worth.
"Governor Romney is not critical of companies that have to reduce their workforce in order to remain competitive. He is critical of Washington politicians who throw up their hands in despair and say there's nothing we can do about it," said Eric Fehrnstrom, a campaign spokesman.
TRANSLATION: NOT ME!!!!!
Pro-life MPs seek free embryo vote
There are such creatures in Europe? We thought they were outlawed.
THE MUSIC BIZ has always traded in outlandish superlatives - every popular album is proclaimed a "classic," every decent songsmith a "genius."
You don't suppose this would be possible without the press agents up front, heh? Noooo. Saturday, January 26, 2008
This is meaningless. America's broad¢a$ter$ have paid virtually nothing in fines since L'Affaire Janet, and with their vast legal power they'll never have to. We note that DISNEY (so we will call ESPNCORP on embarrassing occasions) uses the words "EMMY AWARD-WINNING", which justifies self-praise, and "CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED", which summons the ad-blurbists as a first line of defense. No wonder they all want jobs on television.
Super-ultra movie buff BOOBS McKEATING gets an endorsement from SLY -- a STEROID PHREAK!
S&Ls, endorsements from steroid phreaks -- just another day for Boobs. When will his opponents bring up his past? Friday, January 25, 2008
Boehner: Republicans need to make sacrifices
He is not serious. Watch the guy on C-SPAN, and behold his oily demeanor. He's part of the team that brought his party down in '06, and if there's one thing any Congresspoop won't except it's responsibility, unless the red light's on and the heat's off. To this day too many of his colleagues continue to blame the sea, the sky and the stars for Duke, and SNIDELY WHIPLASH, and Bob "Abe" Ney, and Horny Mark, and the other GOP House villains. John is the sort of master pol who knows how to say enough to make for an inspiriting quote while not having to commit himself to -- gasp! -- reform. And reform is the last thing we should expect from the entrenched, corrupt Congressional Republicans.
Pats' Brady Not Seen in Locker Room Before Practice
TRANSLATION: We fully-expense-account-paid hacks will make the two-week stretch even MORE tedious than ever.
Notable Passage from that 2000 NYTimes Endorsement… [Rich Lowry]
…of McCain: ...He broke further with the Republican leadership to oppose Mr. Bush's outsized tax-cut scheme as too weighted toward the wealthy.... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! These imbeciles should NOT talk about the economy. Just a few days ago even GEKKO KUDLOW, who'd gloated all through the MASSACRE RALLY and belched this "recession" biz was leftist news-hack hooey and insisted Goldilocks was still firmly ensconced in the house, finally admitted the bears chased her out. This is one reason the con-SER-va-tive movement is in danger: its uncritical support for big biz and the MEGARICH, and anything that will make them bigger and MEGARICHER -- at the PEOPLES' expense.
Yoo-hoo! Anybody out there? Wal-Mart may sell hybrids!
Can you imagine what the Big W would do to auto retailing? It's hard to see it sticking with this as the margins are so low; then again it's one of these companies with a bad rep that's trying to make good by becoming PC, and it gives up little by selling unconventional cars. On balance it could be a good thing if it makes hybrids cheaper -- heck if it makes autos cheaper. (Via Brandweek)
We begin to think the main difference between Kwame and OUR EDDIE is that while Eddie leered and spoke of bodacious tatas he would not have been quite so stupid as to exchange text messages with an amour. Then again, maybe EDDIE was just lucky.
Is it possible to believe Vegas's boxes are that much safer than they were twenty-seven years ago? This is owned by MGM Mirage, figures. Thursday, January 24, 2008
Lawmakers clinch a deal on tax rebates Rob from the taxpayer, give to the taxpayer. I like that! We imagine con-SER-va-tives are fuming -- not because this is stupid, but because it gives money to people who aren't RICH.
AN EXCELLENT PROSPECT:
“At a certain point, people are not going to turn on the established broadcast networks,” says David Scardino, entertainment specialist at Rubin Postaer & Associates in Santa Monica, Calif. “They will not be looking there for their entertainment. That’s inevitable.” But it will take more than a labor dispute to break the boob screen's lock on our minds; just breaking them from the network habit isn't enough. We have too many different kinds of bad TV. And that the "heavy TV viewers" seem "most annoyed" by this almost-three-month inconvenience suggests they may be the first to bolt. Then again, if their brethren the ad-blurbists are any sign, they may be the first to forgive.
In Indiana:
About 80% of black babies are born to unwed moms NO SNITCHIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dustin Hoffman, Cruise's Rain Man co-star, tells PEOPLE: "Tom Cruise is an American and has the right to freedom of speech and freedom of religion."
True; and we the little folk, who don't earn the megazillions you do, have a right to make fun of people who jump on couches and KSW.
If talk radio is in decline this is very good news. Why should zillionaire loudmouths and bullies dictate our politics anymore than the zillionaire TV talking heads at the dinner table? But then if NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!! can be believed the bad news is many of the mindless listeners are now on the Web, where the loudmouths and bullies are more of the grass-roots kind, and the loudmouthing and bullying can be more effective thanks to grass-roots fires.
Far be it from us to defend BRIAN ROBBER, but we're starting to wonder if the telecom biz doesn't have a right to limit file-sharing after all. A downloaded movie is not an e-mail, and enough people downloading enough movies (mostly illegally) makes it that much harder to send an e-mail, or surf a Web site. Indeed we may wonder if BitTorrent isn't in some ways a not-too-distant cousin of spam.
Well, we've found two things to say about that French bank fraud, courtesy of The Econowiz: first, the bank was "named equity-derivatives house of the year by the Banker magazine in 2007." Second, the fraud's scope is proof of the efficiency computers have introduced into finance. Needless to say efficiencies on the upside mean efficiencies on the downside too, which some CFOs have yet to discover.
More words of wisdom from Forbeslist.com:
The last man who makes a joke owns it. --Finley Peter Dunne We have no idea what that means. If it means anything it's nothing when it comes to blogs, the greatest dispenser of jokes in history -- and with blogs the jokes merely pass from one to another, like rumors, undergoing so many permutations no one ever owns any joke. But Little Malcolm must have thought this profound.
A man named Terrence Elkes, who apparently did more wheeling and dealing than SUMNER to create the despicable colossus that is THE VIACON TWINS, but was unlucky enough to run it before He took it over, has died, and Geraldine Fabrikant can only think of nine grafs to write about him, which says much about the fame of running media conglomerates, and their permanence.
(Via IWantMedia)
Metro is the newspaper of the future, and the future has largely arrived. We say that with a shudder; doing everything we can to avoid it on our commute, we cannot understand how people can bring themselves to read that sheaf of Bounty unless they have nothing else to read, and if we had nothing else to read we wouldn't read Metro even then. Metro is what all newspapers will be like when they're stripped to the bare bones, or edited by automatons. We can scarcely imagine how the Metros can be more thinly staffed, or how they can be even worse, but it appears we're soon to find out.
(Via MediaBistro)
We have not posted much recently as we're tired of getting no response from it, and partly under that influence we've run out of things to say. We opined once before our posts run to seven or eight categories, and we begin to suspect news stories in general can be summed up through seven or eight different archetypes, much like movies or plays. And some stories simply don't lend themselves to the snappy rejoinder, or even informed judgment; what can you say, for instance, about the huge fraud at the French bank, unless you were in on the crime? And then there are the stories beyond tiresome: people spout about Slick and his ex -- er, wife and their machinations as though it were news.
And then there's the Kurt Cobain of film. But at least this affords excuses for rolling the eyes. A dashingly handsome matinée idol? What drug were they on? And now Mort Zuck informs us that Kurt -- er, Heath may have killed himself because of the IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS of playing THE JOKER in the new BATMAN TENTPOLE. We have it from no less an expert than JACK, one of the GREATEST AC-TORS WHO EVER LIVED, that Heath signed a SUICIDE PACT. (Or something.) That the hacks can turn a TENTPOLE into KING LEAR shows their surfeit of idiocy is never surfeit enough. But just because our age stinks and our culture stinks do you have to type EVERYTHING in 72-point font to make up for it, Mort? It's official: this story has reached the Presidential primary phase. Wednesday, January 23, 2008
With true courage the Canadians have pulled out of next year's "Durban II".
Maybe the frozen northland isn't so PC after all. Eh? [Canada's "secretary of state for multiculturalism and Canadian identity" Jason] Kenney said his government was left with no choice but to abandon the process, expressing displeasure with Libya elected to chair the gathering, Cuba appointed vice-chair, and Iran named to the organizing committee. "This (Iran) is a country whose government has publicly expressed its desire to eliminate the only Jewish country in the world," he said. EH?
Stormin' Norman's endorsin' McCain!
Who's Rudy got? An ex-police commissioner? And no, I don't think God will be good enough, Mitt. (Sorry about that.) Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Speaking of Hollywood, we've a hunch one big reason Fred campaigned at half-staff was that he didn't want to lick the boots of social conservatives who hate Hollywood.
Well, now you won't have to!
IDIOTS:
MPAA Admits Mistake on Downloading Study There is not a damned thing Sammy Glickman and the Kingdom of the Eternal Valenti are right about. They're not right about the genius of fillum or the eeeeeeeeeeeevil of file sharing or their stupid box-office stats or how the public looooooooooooooooooves the ratings system or how Jack was a good man. Well, there is one thing they are right about: that Congresspoops are eminently flatterable and bribable, and for that reason we suspect President "Movie Star" McKeating will spend half his time in Sammy's screening room.
Once again, there are lots of films that most people haven't seen and don't care about.
You have to be an ultra-insider to make THAT point, Kim. And not just for the Os-CARS®, we might add.
Col. Zell waves his flag and prepares to endorse a presidential candidate in LALA!
The last time The Times editorially endorsed a presidential candidate was Richard Nixon in 1972. Through that year, the newspaper's presidential endorsement process was, shall we say, fairly predictable. Whoever was the Republican candidate got the nod in print. The 126-year-old newspaper has never endorsed a Democrat for president. Well -- there's always a first time! And a second and a third and a fourth and a...provided you stay in business that long. (Via the usual Romy)
Elsewhere Lenny permits himself a quiet chortle about abortion. There are certain subjects on which news hacks have so long established their bonafides it would be better that they not cover them. The real tragedy is a team of the hacks could put together a lengthy, compassionate and DISINTERESTED study of abortion, and while it might not lead to resolution at least it could foster understanding. Instead the hacks have learned how to pretentiously keep their mouths shut. This is one of the few topics where the much bandied gutting of the newsrooms does the public interest no good, but as we said, news hackery is lobbying, and we should therefore clear our minds of the public-interest cant.
Jernalism is lobbying. If we take the "high-calling" biz out of the equation we see newshackery for what it is: mass browbeating. Alas, people may know too much to be successfully browbeaten. Today Lenny runs a puff-piece for a member of the Congressional Black Caucus, which is completely over our heads because our excessive exposure to C-SPAN led us to see its members for what they too often are: foot-stompers (like John Lewis) or oily moneygrabbers (like Major Owens) or consciences of the nation (like the late Ms. McKinney); and the floundering of Ron Dellums in Oakland suggests once out of the warmth and coziness of Congress they may be unable to govern. But Lenny must insist these are heroes, and besides, St. Warren's empire seems miraculously immune from deep recessions.
GOOD: The A-CA-de-MY® does it again: Five ahthouse flicks, only one genuine hit among them -- but the better news is, no one will be around to watch the ceremony.
"Hol-leh-WOOOOOD is in a b-llllllllllllleak MOOOD this yea-eah." May the strike last longer so the mood gets bleaker! P. S. TRANSLATION: Please -- pretty please -- cave if you must; I want my chance to toady again! Monday, January 21, 2008
Word on Monday that the Bank of China may write off as much as $1 billion in sub-prime related losses only reinforced investors' fears that the the sub-prime fall-out has much further to go--even though investors have already wiped more off the market capitalization of the big banks involved than those banks have written down for sub-prime mortgage related losses.
Yep, when the casino herd wants to start a debacle, nothing can stand in its way. Certainly not common sense -- the casino has never heard of it.
Well! Glad to see the rest of the global financial casino didn't take a -- day off.
And shucks, all those idiot speculators of Uncle Sam's still have the power to make the world swoon -- even the Chinese, the only people to outdo us in maniacal speculation. "Marking down assets" -- would we be in this fix if the casino dealers hadn't mightily marked assets UP?
If the strike drags on much longer, there's always the chance that Americans really will destroy their TVs and find new interests. At least that's what a Galveston, Texas, parent suggested in a postcard sent last week to the Writers Guild of America offices in Los Angeles.
"Please stay on strike," the correspondent pleaded. "My daughter went from Cs to straight As!! Strike for the sake of the children!!!!!" [Budget-preserving twenty-first and twenty-second of twenty-three grafs] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!! Sunday, January 20, 2008
And this being Sunday, more of Big Double-A Scribble Time:
1. The ad-agency types and others who want to spendspendspend on TV come hell or low commissions envision a rolling season with more shows and fewer episodes, meaning with luck no series will ever be a hit again. 2. The cowards at Hyundai say they relented about pulling an ad from the SUPER BORE because of "creative" when we all know the real reason was the entire exeuctive staff staging a rebellion if it couldn't have its tickets.
And in more Big Pharma news, if an industry's rep is "just above Congress and used-car salesmen" -- that's a buy signal, right MB2?
Even better when we invent a disease that may not exist.
TRANSLATION: A "pro-Israel" policy means giving the store away and hoping it works.
Can one apply pressure [to Israel] and be "pro"? Yes. The Carter Administration pushed and yanked Israel and Egypt toward a full peace agreement -- an agreement that was the greatest American contribution to the security of both countries. Well, it's certainly contributed billions to Egypt, anyway.
The SUPERMANNING OF AMERICA continues with home movie theaters. Just one thing, though: will such bells and whistles really move all those unneeded houses?
What will Cameroon do with "20 shopping carts" of "pens, notepads, coffee mugs and other promotional trinkets" from Biz' favorite biz Big Pharma?
Beats me -- but some hospital outfit in Minnesota sure is making a statement!
COL. ZELL BOUGHT DAMAGED GOODS: His star colyumnist at LALA, Mr. Lopez, "apologizes" to a police officer he hectored out of his job because he used "excessive force." If this were just one apology, we'd say fine. But the recent history of the news biz is one constant insincere apology, one constant doing wrong only to have to make right in the end. We can do without such apologies from star colyumnists, especially as we have the unfortunate suspicion that only the original colyumn was fully sincere.
Perhaps we are all wrong about Honorary President Mike. Maybe he only makes all these speeches because he loves the sound of his voice, a sound amplified back to him by his uncritical press following. If so this is one of the greatest public displays of self-love in American history.
My Biz is My Biz must be thinking of his Big Pharma stocks again:
In ABC's New Hampshire debate, McCain said: "Why shouldn't we be able to reimport drugs from Canada?" A conservative's answer is: That amounts to importing Canada's price controls, a large step toward a system in which some medicines would be inexpensive but many others -- new pain-relieving, life-extending pharmaceuticals -- would be unavailable. Setting drug prices by government fiat rather than market forces results in huge reductions of funding for research and development of new drugs. McCain's evident aim is to reduce pharmaceutical companies' profits. But if all those profits were subtracted from the nation's health-care bill, the pharmaceutical component of that bill would be reduced only from 10 percent to 8 percent -- and innovation would stop, taking a terrible toll in unnecessary suffering and premature death. When McCain explains that trade-off to voters, he will actually have engaged in straight talk. And by the time he'll have ended his straight talk, half the voters will feel numb and the other half will think they've been hoodwinked through a better form of lobbying. That Canada has state controls does not justify the mess of our health care system -- and we suspect other than remedies easily copied from Cato and AEI Biz doesn't have a clue. Why should he? He can pay for his health care tens of thousands of times over, through multiple employers. Columnists are getting as useful as bloggers. Saturday, January 19, 2008
Today, trying to figure out which vintage movies to choose from Oldies.com, I turn to an inconvenient site filled with the opinions of Pauline Kael. Now I discover there's a tragedy to her career: at her best, and there's no denying how good she was at her best, she was perhaps the most insightful and forceful movie writer there ever was. When she calls a film "a real stinker" (as with the noir mellerdrammer Whirlpool) or "too terrible to be boring" (as with the immortal Lucille Ball disaster Mame) you know she's right. At her best she could make you laugh out loud: her just evisceration of the musical Lost Horizon remains a classic in invective. The tragedy, of course, is that in time she came to think herself better than her audience, and her gaga typing over select movies cemented the notion of her era as BETTER THAN EVER!, and then came her sellout work for the masterpiece NASHVILLE and the consulting jobs that followed, and her reviews became more and more raves -- and hanging over them all were The Sound of Music and NIXON. Worst of all she sired two generations of fifth-rate adjective spewers who think they're being Kael when they type out their flackery above the titles; for this influence she helped widen the gulf between commerce and art, and nearly every BEST PIC-TURE OS-CAR® winner of the last forty years bows in humble memory of the woman. And so we must read her dazzling opinions with a grain of salt that time and her influence have turned into the Bonneville Salt Flats.
Warren Buffett JR. is going to reorganize his real-es...er, SEARS HOLDINGS into "units" to try to make it run better.
I guess Warren JR. finally realizes he has to run the company. Or does he?
I wish I knew why the hacks went into this brief but intense spasm of mourning over Bobby Fischer. They tell us he was a "genius". Why do I suspect with many chess masters their genius is limited to one thing and one thing only? Besides as Fischer was not the first to prove, a high-IQ man may lead a low-IQ life. Several years back after he made his nutty comments about 9-11 a magazine (and I wish I could remember which one -- I'm thinking it was The Atlantic) ran a lengthy profile of the man, and it quickly became obvious Fischer was at best the MJ of chess -- an absolute cipher. Moreover he appears to have been unhinged almost from the beginning. What especially grates is that in some ways Fischer was also Bugmeister Bill and videogame phreaks before they came along -- a definitive geek obsessively devoted to the complete mastery of trivia. Why should we celebrate a man who did little but move black and white pieces on a checkered board, and then collapsed into political hysteria?
P. S. on 1/20 at 1:35 p.m. It was The Atlantic. (Via Reason.com via TNR.com)
Here's another number news hacks can turn into statistical fraud. $17.9 BILLION IN VIDEO GAME SALES!!!!!!!!!! Of which about half is for software. If the average game costs $30 to $50, that's maybe 300 million units. That's still a quarter of yearly movie attendance, and far far less than DVD units. I'd guess the most active game purchasers buy multiple titles, just like the movie S&M phreaks, who must see forty of fifty excretions. This number isn't important except to demonstrate when news hacks want to use an EXCLAMATION POINT!!!!!!!!! no one can challenge them.
Friday, January 18, 2008
CIA: Al-Qaida behind Bhutto slaying
Gee, that didn't take long to them fathom -- only about three weeks.
OH oh, somebody has revived the old canard that football losses inspire violence against women, albeit in a different key. Nonetheless if one considers the football factories, with their generous doses of hormones and Budweiser helping conflagrate the bonfires of defeat, we can be certain tragic outcomes do inspire crime -- especially as the football factories are about lots of things other than civilized behavior.
Does the world needs book prizes?
Does the world need movie prizes? TV prizes? Recording prizes? JERNALISM prizes? All sorts of hug-yourself-and-preen prizes? NO. (Via ArtsJournal)
The Big Double-A Scribble reports that the Mick has pulled its ads from those Florida report cards, meaning even the biggest fast-food joint may not be immune from shame.
Big news from Branson East: Sarah Jessica Horseyface is playing a "sexy Italian airline stewardess" in a revival of Boeing Boeing!
Couldn't we think up, say, five hundred other actresses who might be more suitable? Meantime our favorite Branson East columnist also reports that KERNGERSHWIN HAMMERSTEIN had a raging artistic tantrum in public. Isn't he close to the age where he has to worry about his health? Thursday, January 17, 2008
I've got an idea! Let's add fraudulent appraisals to the mix.
It's almost as though businesspoops willed this debacle.
Wind chill in Duluth could reach 60 below tonight
Aren't I glad I'm in Philly, where it's merely snowing.
The next big way Wall Street can bring on a panic: screwing up bond ratings.
On top of that there's all the home-equity loans, and.... Why does the vision of DOMINOES raise its ugly presence?
One of those great juxtapositions only Romy can pull off:
Political bloggers' mediocre analysis affects MSM reporting It's only fair that professional bloggers be paid for their work And reluctant though I am to say a kind word for Romy's favorite alternarag, I think Mr. Stark has a point: Internet boosters have exaggerated the assets of the medium — more reporting, better reporting, more democratic reporting, accessible around the clock — in much the same way that cable supporters did when when CNN and its sister channels arrived on the scene about two decades ago. In a country that’s bamboozled by novelty, claims in support of a new technology or invention will almost always be extravagant. The problem is that there isn’t really enough news to go around in this 24-hour, up-to-the-minute cycle. And, sadly, there aren’t enough astute thinkers to go around, either — not than anyone can be that clever all the time. One obstacle for these thinkers is the same one that hindered writers when television first arrived on the scene in the 1950s. “Back in the old days,” once noted Bob Hope on the differences between writing for TV and writing for a comedy stage show, “you would do one sketch for five years. But if you use that sketch on TV, it’s used up in one night.” Blogging burns up good material very quickly, meaning that even the best run out and start writing, well, second-rate stuff. (And that’s on their good days.) But it's still comedy!
"Our David's good sling is unerring/The Slavocrat's giant he slew/Then shout for the freedom preferring/For Lincoln and liberty, too."
Yep, campaign songs have gone decidedly downhill. AH'M PRAYOUD T'BE A CAYYYYYYYYYYN!!!!! AMERICAYYYYYYYYYYN!!!!! DECIDEDLY. (Via ArtsJournal)
Elsewhere in the Big V:
The United Nations is backing a $100 million film fund aimed at combating stereotypes in movies. Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! Anyone like to guess how many people that could save from -- GENOCIDE if the League of Nations knew what it was doing? And of COURSE eBay-financed GuiltTrip Lecture Productions is in on the deal. Hey, they know a good boondoggle when they see it!
"Gas stations, gyms, sports venues, hospital rooms...commuter trains...."
NBC EVERYWHERE!!!!! Yep, that should take care of the spinoff talk, Little Jeffy -- at $34.56.
At The Corner they're ticked because THE EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY did some radical editing of a plug by Jo-NAH. Under the circumstances we are hard pressed to say who should go to hell first.
Found when accidentally clicking on the Windows Media button I left on my browser:
Bugmeister really thinks he'll be the King of Show-Biz? Doesn't he know the Lord God Steve is his superior -- for good reason?
I suppose it ought to be good news that abortions are down, but too many still chose the procedure out of mere convenience, and more are taking a couple of pills to do the same thing. A nation that tolerates so many abortions and so many murders on the street is a nation with a canker in its soul.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
I wonder if The Lord God's Steve's whizbang got the cold shoulder because we now see $300 can do essentially the same thing?
Unlike zillions of other bloggers I typed nothing about Michigan's primary thanks in part to the mess on the Democrats' side, but also because this election year things are too changeable for words -- and one may ask if the fluidity owes to a certain voter resentment in having so many tell them who to vote for.
We have a long way to go to a brokered convention.
This proposed Northwest-Delta merger may be a needful action of airline consolidation, but big businessmen should be whacked when they renege on promises to help a city's economy. How many billions have guvment types wasted in trying to bribe businessmen to stay in downtowns, or open needed factories, only to have them make off with the cash, because the businessmen know they're dealing with doormats??
We think pundits have no right to bang about English abuse when they can countenance the "floating 'hopefully'" in a post bewailing it -- and in the one two posts before it.
The one rule when watching a movie bio or docudrama is to ask yourself, "How much did they lie?" Yes, we can say some lying in art may be necessary to get at what George Abbott once called "the truthier truth", long before that pestilence the ERIC SEVAREID OF COMEDY was born; but when some of us don't expect art we have less reason to suspect we'll get the truth; viewed in that spotlight what GOODTHINGS ENTERTAINMENT did is just another example of show-biz types throwing -- stuff at a wall and hoping it sticks. It stuck, all right.
Further on the preceding subject, when Branson East fans are "we's" and the people they have to "drag" to the theme parks are "not we's", there is no "us."
(Again via ArtsJournal)
Shucks, one of the great MASTERPIECES of BRANSON EAST, the immortal tourist attraction based on La Boheme, is closing, for its genius to resound in the rafters, and the vaults, and the stacks of old Playbills, and the memories of the flacks at The Paper of Re-CORD.
(Via ArtsJournal, where they're very sad too) Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Professional college football now has its own seven-year version of the eighteen-minute gap.
(Via DetroitNews.com)
Buried in Wall Street's debacle, GREAT news for free en-ter-prise:
The U.S. Supreme Court put new limits on shareholder suits against a company's banks and business partners in a ruling that may thwart efforts to recoup billions of dollars lost in frauds at Enron Corp. and HealthSouth Corp. Even better news: The case split the court along ideological lines. Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote the court's majority opinion, which Chief Justice John Roberts and Justices Samuel Alito, Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas joined. Who'd have thought Nine-Finger Kennedy could grow?
Amidst the continuing fallout from the Strange Saga of Couch Jumper, a tribute to a "great journalist":
Meanwhile, many in the entertainment press were aghast Monday when ABC’s Diane Sawyer failed to ask Katie Holmes a single question on “Good Morning America” about the book, the videos or any of the other controversies that have swirled around her nearly three-year relationship with Cruise. Sawyer, who prides herself on being a great journalist, managed to elicit from Holmes only that she liked wearing pink during her pregnancy. You don't suppose that was in the ground rules, would you, Rog?
Chrysler LLC, the third-largest U.S. automaker, is shifting its television advertising dollars to live sports and the Internet and out of primetime programs as the Hollywood writers' strike heads into an 11th week.
The temporary move may become permanent, because primetime commercials don't have as much viewer impact they did a decade ago, marketing chief Deborah Wahl Meyer said yesterday in an interview at the Detroit auto show. Meanwhile, Chrysler is reaching buyers on car-enthusiast Web sites, she said. The strike ``is changing the whole broadcast model,'' Meyer said. Unlike the last writers' walkout, in 1988, ``the biggest thing we've noticed about the strike is that nobody is talking about it,'' she added. [Emphasis added] COMMON SENSE STRIKES AN ADVERTISER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? (Via IWantMedia) Boy I love that there fancy chain you're giving me, sheikh! Of course I can't keep it on accounta it would look bad, plus we got these laws -- you know about laws, sheikh -- but let me tell you, once I get out of that there Beltway, why, pile on all the gold and diamonds and jewelry and what not you have! As my dad said, get while the gettin's good -- and sheikh, I intend to get!
Saudi Arabia Rebuffs Bush on Oil Request
Well that's all right, Mr. High Holy Sheikh, once I get out of the Great White Prison we'll have some really swell times together -- maybe I can even work for you! Y'know, Texas and Saudi Arabia have lots in common...like great leaders.
UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR IN MEDIA FAIRY-LAND:
The least important characteristics in a sales rep identified by marketers were sales presence and entertainment. Only 8% of respondents said going to dinners, shows and sporting events with sellers was important -- though Mr. Pearl warned survey respondents may have been reluctant to admit to that. "Most people probably aren't going to own up to the fact that they really love being entertained," he said. ESPECIALLY ON OUR DIME. Clinton-Obama! Er, Obama-Clinton! I've got a great slogan: Three Presidents for the Price of One! Oops! Somebody didn't call off the armies! (Via USAOKAY.com)
The latest casualty in the Civil War of Entertainment: dozens of contracts worth millions!
TRANSLATION: The strike provides a convenient excuse for the moguls to ditch deals they shouldn't have made in the first place. (Via MediaBistro)
A man gets more prison time killing trees than some would killing people. We know this isn't a PC sentence -- indeed the man sounds like at least a borderline nut case -- but somehow we can see the day when killing trees becomes a capital offense, for whatever screwy reason.
And really, given the boxes going up in Vegas, is it that great a view?
Paulson Confirms Alan Greenspan To Join Advisory Board
TRANSLATION: They pay him eight digits to belch platitudes. Monday, January 14, 2008
In the "be-careful-what-you-wish-for" category:
TYLER – A 5,500-square-foot lakefront home awarded in the Home & Garden Television "Dream Home" sweepstakes in 2005 has sold at auction for $1.3 million. Rick Mullins of Dallas won the one-acre property on Lake Tyler after bidding began Saturday at $5 million. The tax-assessed value of the home is $1.85 million, according to city records. The original winner of the house, Don Cruz, said he put the home up for auction after he couldn't keep up with steep income and property taxes. Many other "Dream Home" winners in previous years have also been forced to sell their prize because of the financial burdens of the lavish properties.
Now it's $24 billion in writedowns AND a dividend cut for Citigroup.
Is this an excuse to let oil sheikhs take over our banking system?
And on the following page (thanks to a MediaBistro link), the Universe's Greatest Edi-TOR -- thinks:
What's on David Remnick's mind these days? In a video interview with Big Think, a Web start-up that marries high-profile interviews with social networking, The New Yorker editor in chief reflects on his childhood, his big breaks at The Washington Post and in Russia, and discusses the future of The New Yorker and of journalism in general. But he also admits he worries about whether The New Yorker is funny enough. I'd say with Ken Felatta, Bert Lahrson and David "The Formerly Speculatively Investing Formerly Audiophilic Former Porn Addict" Denby you needn't worry about laughs.
"The most important thing is to get that 'A' position."
ON THE FIFTY-YARD LINE!!!!! I know, I know, I'm ranting this morning, but these jerks get me so riled up. Really, aren't there more interesting things to watch than football?
That practically every American news hack is in deep mourning over what happened to the Golden Globs is testimony to their incompetence. News hacks are central to the universe, and show-biz is central to theirs. Media are always right, and any action that damages media damages news hacks. The Globs were an innocent victim of a Civil War of entertainment that has claimed countless casualties (not least the junk TV the ad-blurbists increasingly rave over), and where Lincoln sought guidance through God, the hacks seek guidance through their gods; fondly do they hope, fervently do they pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away, beseeching the SUMNERS and SLIMES and other of their noble heroes to finally come to their senses and give the @#$%&* writers (and we mean that literally, given their output) the $150 MILLION, and thus bequeath GENIUS to MANKIND again.
"Let us have PEACE!" said NIKKI FIN -- Gen. Grant. Well, except for the idiot advertisers who will waste our money until the last star has burnt to a cinder, we have peace on television. May it reign for months and months to come.
I always harp on how advertisers waste our money -- first off because it is OUR money, just as taxes are our money, and because BIGMEDIA represent at least as much government as government, given how many are in their thrall -- but it is clear nothing will stop these clowns from wasting it. At an alleged "low $900,000s" a thirty what do these idiots get for their money financing SLIME? There are so many layers of management between the schmoozers of MadAve and the CEO that hardly anybody knows, and Corporate America wastes so much money on its trinkets hardly anybody need know; what's more the CEO can always be easily led into spending any amount so his whole executive council can schmooze; you never know when it might come in handy at the golf course. And to annoying deathly repetition I say it's about schmoozing because it's not about selling; the sales message is entirely lost in the expense and in the compulsion to schmooze, and when someone is pert enough to emphasize the sales pitch it's either something annoying or counterproductive.
I HATE BIGMEDIA! I HATE CORPORATE AMERICA! Sunday, January 13, 2008
Three other things about Honorary President Mike that would appeal to the press: he's the sort who projects his failings on others, more so if they don't deserve it; he'd pinch pennies on others while lavishly favoring himself; and he'd boast of his "managerial excellence" in equal measure to all the holes he'd blow in the budget.
Yesterday both NFL-playoff home teams won. Today both NFL-playoff home teams lost. Is this just a coincidence? This does seem to have happened before.
An exceptionally acclaimed author and inspirer of a potential Os-CAR® nominee is annoyed:
Do you read any online reviews? I don't read the blogs much. I don't like the tone-the rather in-your-face road-rage quality of a lot of exchange on the Internet. I don't like the threads that come out of any given piece of journalism. It seems that when people know they can't be held accountable, when they don't have eye contact, it seems to bring out a rather nasty, truculent, aggressive edge that I think slightly doesn't belong in the world of book reviewing. And here is why, for all the hand-wringing and gnashing of fillings, the status quo in book reviewing will stand. Authors do not want to read negative reviews. Understandable; but frequently negative reviews are the only ones that will speak honestly. One reason we don't get more negative reviews is that no one wants to be the fellow who panned The Great Gatsby; but Great Gatsbys are exceedingly unlikely in this age, for reasons too tedious to rehash, and so we get lots of raves of lots of books that already have little distinction among them, getting less distinction still from the sound-alike raves. And we certainly don't want to upset exceptionally acclaimed authors. What the literary biz needs is a good shaking up, and a good weeding-out of its logrollers, but despite our exceptionally acclaimed author's annoyance it probably won't come from literary blogs, most of which are too obscure to matter, and whose proprietors also seem to believe they should be polite; but given our culture's increasing lack of confidence for all its blowhardness I would not want to guess where that shaking up and weeding out would come from. And our potential-Os-CAR®-nominee inspirer's favorite Web site is something called Edge, which looks like the kind of hermetically-sealed thing that can only further serve to keep literature down. P. S. About The Life Transcripts: Is this Julian Hirsch writing?
``The time has come to bridge the growing divide between Main Street and Wall Street,'' Obama, an Illinois senator, said in a statement. ``We can't wait for the next president to act.''
Okay JFK, we'll build a bridge that probably won't reach a tenth of the way to the other side, thus becoming a bridge to nowhere. "A $250 tax cut." Make -- me laugh! You know and I know the only way we'll get out of this mess is when all those zillions of unsold homes get sold, or demolished, and all the crushing bad debt that built them gets wiped off the books for good. Terrific leadership, J.
If it's Sunday, it must be The Big Double-A Scribble:
1. Victoria's Secret's execs think they can flog their housing-depressed sales by yelling, "I WAS AT THE SUPER BOWL® AND YOU WEREN'T!" If that could be true not only should every national retailer be a nuisance there, it would end our sure-to-be near-depression. 2. Chrysler's calling itself NEW! -- again: This marks the third time since the late 1970s that the carmaker has advertised itself as "the new Chrysler," according to Todd Turner, president of consultant CarConcepts. "If it was only a perception problem, they could fix it with communications, and even so, that takes a lot of time and money." Which is surely a problem as many believe the Three-Headed Dog wants to save money on its investment. How it can save money and get back in the race remains to be seen. 3. The only people more upset than the ad-blurbists and other assorted résumé-writing news hacks who want their TV back are the madmen of MadAve, who live to hear their clients scream, "I WAS AT THE OSCARS® AND YOU WEREN'T!" Given how many uncounted zillions they've flushed down the boob tube they would be psychotically upset, as financing all manner of dog droppings allows them to put a non-stop one over on us. But the CW says the last time there was a big Fantasy and Profanity League strike the ratings dropped, and a public already slowly weaned from the set as it is may not have the patience of, say, media buyers. 4. This housing-inspired near-depression is forcing ordinary folk to discover private labels -- and once they discover most private-label goods are just as good -- indeed, many are made by members of THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS -- they may not want to trade back up. 5. If Wendy's wants to be Mickey D, it should hire a CMO (that's chief marketing officer, about analogous to a chief information officer, and just as useful) whose chief function is to yell "HIP." That and maybe it could sell overpriced java. Nineteen months after yours truly declared it "a high-tech squeeze box that grew up", a P-Ulitzer-Prize-winning AH-chi-tect-TYURE cri-TIC calls the Hearst Tower UG-LEH! I'm tired of being blogging's best-kept secret! (Via ADAM!!!!!)
While we are sorry to hear Mr. Matsushita's being taken off the masthead at -- Panasonic Corp.? -- the flip side is in time people will forget who BUGMEISTER BILL was.
Celebrities Donate to Many Candidates Jennifer Aniston -$2,300 to Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama Hank Azaria -$2,300 to Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards Tyra Banks -$2,300 contribution to Obama Angela Bassett -$2,300 to Obama Halle Berry $2,300 to Obama Valerie Bertinelli -$2,300 to Obama Pat Boone -$800 to former Republican presidential candidate Sam Brownback -$1,000 to Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney Zach Braff -$2,300 to Obama Christie Brinkley -$2,150 to Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton -$1,000 to Obama James L. Brooks -$2,300 to Obama -$2,300 to Edwards -$2,300 to Clinton -$1,000 to former Democratic presidential candidate Bill Richardson Jackson Browne $2,300 to Obama Jerry Bruckheimer -$2,300 to Republican presidential candidate John McCain [BOOBS McKEATING! THIS MAKES YOU POPULAR!!!!!] Chevy Chase -$2,100 to former Democratic presidential candidate Chris Dodd -$4,600 to Clinton Cher -$2,100 to former Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden John Cleese -$2,300 to Obama George Clooney -$2,300 to Obama Harry Connick Jr. -$4,600 to Obama Gary Cole -$2,300 to Edwards Larry David -$2,300 to Edwards -$2,300 to Obama James Denton -$4,600 to Edwards Danny DeVito -$2,300 to Clinton Paul Dooley -$2,300 to Obama Michael Douglas -$4,600 to Clinton -$4,600 to Richardson -$1,500 to Democratic presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich -$4,600 to Dodd -$4,600 to Obama [Playing the field, Mike? We thought you were MARRIED.] Fran Drescher -$2,300 to Clinton Hector Elizondo -$300 to Kucinich Linda Evans -$2,300 to Obama Morgan Freeman -$2,300 to Obama Jamie Foxx -$2,300 to Obama Jeff Garlin -$250 to Obama Louis Gossett -$2,300 to Obama Kelsey Grammer -$2,300 to Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani Seth Green -$4,600 to Edwards Jasmine Guy -$2,300 to Obama Tom Hanks -$2,300 to Clinton -$2,300 to Obama Hill Harper -$2,300 to Obama Dennis Haysbert -$2,300 to Obama Edward Helms -$250 to Clinton Don Henley -$4,600 to Edwards -$4,600 to Clinton Cheryl Hines -$1,000 to Obama Quincy Jones -$4,600 to Clinton Jeffrey Katzenberg -$2,300 to Clinton -$2,300 to Obama -$2,100 to Edwards -$2,300 to Dodd Val Kilmer -$2,300 to Richardson Norman Lear -$2,300 to Clinton -$2,100 to former Democratic presidential candidate Tom Vilsack -$1,150 to Richardson -$2,300 to Edwards -$2,300 to Obama John Lithgow -$1,000 to Dodd Seth Macfarlane -$1,000 to Obama Amy Madigan -$2,300 to Clinton Tobey Maguire -$4,600 to Clinton -$2,300 to Obama Branford Marsalis -$4,600 to Obama Steve Martin -$2,300 to Dodd Lorne Michaels -$4,600 to Dodd -$2,300 to McCain [MR. SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE LIKES YOU TOO!] Bette Midler -$4,600 to Richardson -$2,300 to Clinton -$2,300 to Obama Eddie Murphy -$2,300 to Obama Kathy Najimy -$2,300 to Clinton Paul Newman -$4,600 to Obama -$4,600 to Clinton -$2,300 to Richardson -$4,600 to Dodd Leonard Nimoy -$2,300 to Obama Edward Norton -$2,300 to Obama Rosie O'Donnell -$2,300 to Clinton -$2,300 to Obama -$2,300 to Richardson -$2,300 to Edwards Sean Penn -$2,300 to Kucinich -$4,600 to Edwards Rhea Perlman -$2,300 to Clinton Ellen Pompeo -$4,600 to Obama Sidney Poitier -$4,600 to Obama Bonnie Raitt -$2,300 to Edwards -$2,300 to Kucinich Lynn Redgrave -$250 to Clinton Rob Reiner -$2,300 to Clinton -$2,300 to Richardson -$2,300 to Edwards -$1,000 to Dodd Chris Rock -$4,600 to Obama Susan Saint James -$4,600 to Dodd Adam Sandler -$2,100 to Giuliani Brooke Shields -$2,300 to Obama Elisabeth Shue -$1,500 to Dodd Paul Simon -$4,600 to Dodd Will Smith -$4,600 to Obama Steven Spielberg -$2,300 to Clinton -$2,300 to Richardson -$2,300 to Edwards -$2,300 to Obama Darren Star -$2,300 to Edwards -$2,300 to Obama Mary Steenburgen -$2,300 to Edwards -$4,600 to Clinton Ben Stein -$750 to Giuliani [BEN FRANKENSTEIN GAVE TO A REPUBLICAN?!?!?] Ben Stiller -$2,300 to Edwards -$2,300 to Obama -$4,600 to Clinton Barbra Streisand -$1,000 to Dodd -$2,300 to Clinton -$2,300 to Edwards -$2,300 to Obama Isaiah Washington $2,300 to Obama Gene Wilder -$2,300 to Obama Jerry Weintraub -$2,300 to Richardson Forest Whitaker -$2,300 to Obama Oprah Winfrey -$2,300 to Obama Joanne Woodward -$4,600 to Clinton -$4,600 to Dodd -$4,600 to Obama Renee Zellweger -$4,600 to Clinton --- Source: Federal Election Commission data. [Emphasis added] And so on. And so on and so on. And so on and so on and so on. (List copied from ASSPress post) P. S. GOP candidate Mike Huckabee has the support of actor Chuck Norris — but none of his money, as of the latest campaign filings. Well Hucklechuck, he gave you publicity -- and you can't BUY that. Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!
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