Posted 10:12 PM by Gene

There seems to be a concerted effort to turn TARP into a PROFILE IN COURAGE. Whether it was necessary or not the fact is the people bailed out the bankers for their greed, and while an alleged profit may salve the government it does little good for the rest of a nation still deep in dep -- an ECONOMY. No accident that members of the politburo like Bob Bennett are cheering themselves for their wisdom. Haven't we had enough self-congratulation from our superiors? The public has a right to be angry, whatever TARP's "success" -- and that success does not mitigate the failure of FANNIE AND FREDDIE. Count them in and the "success" disappears.

Posted 6:12 PM by Gene

Catching up on ARCHDaily!



A Guinness Book-record-setting HVAC system!



A front-page rave review in The Paper of Re-CORD! (Which, if CARLOS THE JACKASS is smart, He'll put behind the pay wall -- permanently!)



Why must STARCHITECTS always make these stupid faces?

Posted 11:42 AM by Gene

Now, NOW, five years after He began His schtick the fools on the Hill are learning to AVOID ERIC SEVAREID!

But judging from the third page they'll still slurp up to Him because they're such FOOLS.

“My experience with that show is like herpes. It never goes away, and it itches and sometimes flares up.”

Sort of like us and the CONGRESS.

Posted 11:25 AM by Gene

CARLOS THE JACKASS tries to split the difference between free and pay in Boston, which won't work because most people don't read The Boston Glob one way or another.

Posted 11:10 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: For every fanboy blogging a tantrum over the LORD GOD STEVE OF FILMDOM, "20-30" will show up for His reheated Buck Rogers.

Posted 10:56 AM by Gene

Our favorite Branson East columnist Mike says the carnival impresario Mike Nichols wants the famed Capote impersonator Seymour Harvey What's-His-Name in a new theme park called Death of a Salesman!

Isn't this carrying the reliance on celebrity draws a bit too far?

Posted 10:50 AM by Gene

Katie Couric: We Need Better Filters for a "Tsunami of News"

Agreed; but one reason we have a tsunami of news is that we had filters that acted altogether too well -- like MOST TRUSTED.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 10:44 AM by Gene

An old-thinking camera-hogging activist who helped lead the fight to get the middle-class out of cities like Detroit now wants it back in.

That's RICH! Detroit isn't.

Posted 10:28 AM by Gene

We can see why a big PC quasi-governmental corporate monolith like MICKEY D's would deny reports it wants to drop health care for its workers -- it wants to be PC. We can see why it would want to drop it. Who knew MICKEY D's provided health care for its workers?

Posted 9:47 AM by Gene

WHY FACEBOOK COULD BE THE NEXT TV FOR ADVERTISERS!!!!!!!!!!

STEPHEN COLBERT: AMERICA'S NEWEST FOOD-AWARENESS CRUSADER!!!!!!!!!! (Advertising crusading overemphasis added)

Just because a Web site's run by a 500-year-old rag founded by Ralph Waldo Emerson or James Russell Lowell or whomever doesn't mean it can't run BS too -- or maybe it does.

Posted 9:28 AM by Gene

Republicans played that continuing-resolution song too. Realtor Denny taught us his side could not be trusted with our money. We didn't need to elect a Democratic majority to know its side couldn't. Continuing resolutions are why we need a third party, one that can govern free from the old wives' tales of both our obsolescent factions.

Posted 9:15 AM by Gene

Moody’s downgrades Spanish debt to Aa1

DOW 80 GIGAHEXAZILLION!!!!!

Posted 9:08 AM by Gene

We finally figured out why HOWIE HAIRSHIRT is the most singularly grating JERNALIST of our time: he is the biz' customer-service rep -- all fake apology and no action. That he makes more than many customer-service departments does not help.

Posted 8:41 AM by Gene

Tony Curtis, who always struck us as something of a scruffian, has died. RIP.

Posted 8:39 AM by Gene

U.S. economic growth slows to 1.7% in Q2

DOW 20 KAZILLION!!!!!

Posted 8:23 AM by Gene

In the back of his very generous heart Sidney Harman wants to run SIDSWEEK like a liberal philanthropy. Firing only a few people and on the business side is a mark of the news hack's priorities. We could see the ads in six months: "With a vigor belying his age, the 92-year-old Harman has transformed a revered journalistic franchise with a renewed emphasis on blahblahblah...." If one of the cadre were impertinent enough to ask about his losses Sid could reply with a vigorous 92-year-old NO COMMENT!!!!! We wouldn't be surprised if he stops making his circulation numbers public. That Sid is entertaining a merger with TINA!!!!!, a merger of equally dubious business propositions, suggests a generous heart is not enough.

Posted 7:23 PM by Gene

It's been a while since we've parked our carcass there, so -- ARCHDaily!



A chic concentration camp!




A hip Iron Curtain!



Architect Marcelo Ertorteguy shared with us his project “The Stone”, for which he received first prize in the Art in Architecture Competition. The competition’s intent was to generate ideas about the relationship and interaction between the two.

The only interaction I see is between that box and gravity.



What is with STARCHITECTS and SEX?



The Tidal Resonance Chamber, designed by Robert Horner is an experiment between human perception and nature; it also serves as conduit for the development of sustainable construction techniques. The Tidal Resonance Chamber provides a harbor for the contemplation and reflection on the manner in which human beings have utilized and manipulated the natural environment.

Plus it's a neat looking shipping container!



A McDonald's museum!

MORE TO COME!

Posted 7:22 PM by Gene

Overall, I think social-network sites have a generally positive effect in promoting informal associations and social autonomy. But I think their democratising political effects have been greatly overstated.

They would be, given how TOP-DOWN they are.

Posted 5:44 PM by Gene

SHARON does the Thinker pose on reality shows. Think pieces are worthless because they're lifeless from the first word, and they compound their worthlessness by quoting psychiatrists and PERFESSER THOMPSON. A writer with guts could make something of it. What guts this business has is in anatomically incorrect and politically correct places. Think pieces are completely destroyed by the hacks' concomitant obsessive desire to write ad copy, whose naked touting neuters their facile moral concern. If someone can't write thoroughly justified tubthumper on such an easy topic no one can write a tubthumper on anything.

Posted 3:13 PM by Gene

What happened when Obama met Bob Dylan?

We were about to say, what happens when NEWS HACKS meet with BILL SHAKESPEARE DYLAN -- they see GOD; but we forgot: there really can't be more than one God at a time.

Posted 3:11 PM by Gene

Arthur Penn, the director of THE LIBERAL INTELLIGGGHHHENTSIA'S FAVORITE MOVIE, and a big reason why we're stuck today with TENTPOLES and UNWATCHABLE DOWNERS AT OS-CAR® TIME, has died. RIP.

Posted 2:17 PM by Gene

The tall, sleek, curving Vdara Hotel at CityCenter on the Strip is a thing of beauty.

But the south-facing tower is also a collector and bouncer of sun rays, which -- if you're at the hotel's swimming pool at the wrong time of day and season -- can singe your hair and melt your plastic drink cups and shopping bags.

Hotel pool employees call the phenomenon the "Vdara death ray."

Kirk Kevork -- KERKORIAN! Why not a giant solar panel?

(Via HENRY HONEST!!!!!)

Posted 2:17 PM by Gene

Why doesn't LUKE SPIELBERG make a new 3D masterpiece -- or has the LORD GOD STEVE OF FILMDOM been reading the box office?

Posted 1:51 PM by Gene

When NEWS HACKS stop polling well among DEMOCRATS they'll have solved their bias problem.

Posted 2:14 PM by Gene

The effort at CNN, led by Jautz or Klein, is to keep the place just as profitable as it has been—and the self-evident way of doing that is to not change anything very much. In a news world of great passions and dramatic transformation, that’s an embarrassing and perhaps ignoble position. So when I called attention to it, they fired Jon Klein and hired Ken Jautz to continue to do pretty much what Klein has been doing.

Still, this is good for Jautz—even if not for news consumers.

WOLFFMAN!!!!!, who ever said good news for BIGMEDIA is good news for us?

Posted 10:16 AM by Gene

D.C. disconnect: 400 fundraisers in 14 days

Disconnect is the Beltway's only connection.

Posted 10:12 AM by Gene

For GOD's sake, Wall Street -- who the hell needs JOBS when we have US?

Posted 9:50 AM by Gene

PR for DUMMIES (the dummies being us): Moon 'n' Stars and Walmart produce these one-off "family-friendly" spectaculars to deke attention from the mountains of family-unfriendly programming they finance, directly or indirectly; and we're not impressed with 7.5 million viewers when it's a mere 2.5 percent of the population, meaning you don't reach a lot of people because you HAVE to schmooze in Hollywood.

Posted 9:03 AM by Gene

ED MURROW defended ERIC SEVAREID last night from scurrilous charges of BRAZEN FOOLISHNESS. We know how high-horse the Beltway is but dammit we know who SUMNER is -- and he's Their BOSS. We shouldn't forget this isn't the first time the SUM has engaged in useless mockery of government -- remember when ERIC ran for PRESIDENT? But then who needs government when you're SUMNER -- and you have two perfectly docile stooges in ED and ERIC?

MEDIARIGHT, er, MEDIABLIGHT, er, whatever is to TV punditry what HENRY HONEST!!!!! is to finance. Would BUGMEISTER and AL GORE have invented the Web if they'd known this is what it would come to?

Posted 8:49 AM by Gene

A president who does so little to counter the idea that he dislikes business is, self-evidently, a worryingly negligent chief executive.

Didn't we endorse Him?

Posted 10:05 AM by Gene

DOW 36,000 IS BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK -- and his new name is Jeffrey Hirsch!

“He’s got some crazy number on there,” said Frank Ingarra, a Stamford, Connecticut-based money manager at Hennessy Advisors Inc., which oversees about $900 million. “We’ve had probably one of the worst 10-year periods in history, and I think there’s just too much overhang with the government for it to get to those numbers.”

1. Even the professionals aren't fooled anymore. 2. All roads for prosperity lead through THE BIG C!

Posted 9:44 AM by Gene

Obama: Money alone can't solve school predicament

Okay, Your Omnipotence -- why slather it on?

Posted 9:32 AM by Gene

His hand caught in George "BUILD THEM A CONCENTRATION CAMP!!!!!" Soros's cookie jar, the founder of a very pro-Israel lobbying group insists stealing cookies is good for world peace.

Posted 9:06 AM by Gene

The one good thing about ad campaigns like this is that they increasingly act as an instant emetic to enough people as to be self-defeating.

And lest we forget -- this is an EINSTEIN.

Posted 9:00 AM by Gene

Branson East is NOTHING without BOBBY VINTON!

Which is another way of saying Branson East's theme parks are nothing, period.

Sorry Bobby -- not knocking you.

Posted 8:48 AM by Gene

The European Central Bank considered activating rescue funds for Ireland but in the end decided not to, a German newspaper said on Monday, citing government sources.

So now it can fail later!

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 8:39 AM by Gene

In more crusading P-Ulitzer prize-winning investigative reporting:

Study: Apple commands an inordinate amount of media's attention

The findings suggest that in the mainstream media, particularly on front pages and general interest programs, the press reflects exuberance about gadgets and a wonder about the corporations behind them, but wariness about effects on our lives, our behavior and the sociology of the digital age.

TRANSLATION: The hacks play both sides against the middle and we're stuck in the middle with their nothing.

It is now time for a comprehensive study on how the hacks "cover" show-biz, and its total idiot dominance of the news hole.

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

Meantime, in another part of town:

The Lions have now lost 40 of their last 43 games, which is like walking down the street and getting hit by 16 consecutive cars.

OUCH!

Posted 8:26 AM by Gene

MORON -- er, MAROON -- er, that zillionaire who owns the decaying Michigan Central terminal in Detroit is still letting it decay.

[Some spokespoop for MORON MAROON] did not respond directly to questions about possible future contributions to the cleanup, but said the bridge company is "very involved" in the neighborhood.

"We do a lot with community groups in the southwest Detroit area, especially Latino groups," [spokespoop] said.

Well isn't that just peachy!

Posted 8:10 AM by Gene

By introducing a formal three-year degree option, UMass joins dozens of other schools around the country that have decided that students’ desire to save money in some cases trumps officials’ traditional concerns that they have a full four years to explore and grow intellectually and socially.

1. Do they? 2. How can we finagle four years of costs out of three?

Posted 8:09 AM by Gene

Treasury Said to Prepare AIG Exit, Repayment Plan

How big of a haircut do you want?

Posted 8:08 AM by Gene

Sony Pictures, Warner Bros. and Walt Disney Co. are in talks with the largest cable TV systems to offer films for as much as $30 per showing soon after they run in theaters.

I smell -- PIRACY!

Posted 3:17 PM by Gene

"Painfully awkward and pointless" and "SCREAMINGLY FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (JPOD, who will say these things), ERIC SEVAREID laid a BIG EGG before Congress, and some twerp name Zoe laid an even bigger egg.

We could smell this stench coming, and it does not surprise us our SUPERIORS couldn't for they bathe in what they think is Chanel No. 5.

Posted 2:47 PM by Gene

Given its contents and the rhapsodic praise it's earning SUMNER and MOONER should have named Their show S#*!.

Posted 11:37 AM by Gene

What a day! CNN fired Jon "Ratings" Klein and BRIAN ROBBER fired -- er, JEFF ZUCKS is leaving GE BANCORP NETWORK. Maybe the Peter Principle has its Peter Principle after all.

Zucker wrote that he has not figured out his next move.

That's easy -- run another network into the ground! Pfffffffffffffffffft!

Posted 10:07 AM by Gene

Zuckerberg Overtakes Jobs And Murdoch On Forbes Rich List (Guardian)

And a few doors down on MediaBistro:

A New Era At Forbes: Staffer Calls Cover Story 'Stupefyingly Inane' (Aol / Daily Finance)

Sounds like the same old era to me.

Posted 9:29 AM by Gene

Dems: We’ll run on our record

Broken or warped?

P. S. See, a RECORD was....

Posted 9:27 AM by Gene

Government's idea of fairness is all too often to create a compensating unfairness.

Any wonder conservatives are on the rise?

Posted 9:25 AM by Gene

When retiring University of Illinois at Chicago professor Bill Ayers co-wrote a book in 1973, it was dedicated in part to Sirhan Sirhan, the assassin of Robert F. Kennedy.

What goes around....

(Via -- oh well -- The Corner)

Posted 9:24 AM by Gene

Before ZELIG, there was something called BASEBALL, and we have the unjustly scandalously neglected Bing Crosby to thank for letting us remember it.

Posted 7:50 PM by Gene

Divided Senate Dems punt on taxes

From the end zone!

Posted 7:48 PM by Gene

The point isn't whether we walked out on NUKEMAN -- it's how many shook their heads in agreement.

Posted 2:16 PM by Gene

The INDISPENSABLE MICKEYMOUSE NIXON sounds dispensable.

(Via I Want Media)

Posted 1:53 PM by Gene

No mystery man to me: the slime Jeffry Picower was in the scum Bernie Madoff's pocket -- or perhaps it was the other way around.

Slime and scum -- what's the difference except most slime and scum isn't worth BILLIONS.

Posted 1:48 PM by Gene

The head of HAHVAHD MUTUAL FUND'S LERNING STUB with that wonderful name of FAUST strikes a blow for hissssssssssstory, causing the junior senator from Massachusetts to unleash a well turned rhetorical blow to her solar plexus, no doubt in turn causing some of the more ENLIGHTENED types at the MUTUAL FUND'S STUB to darkly whisper of assassination, though they forget whom the junior senator succeeded.

Posted 1:44 PM by Gene

THE NATION'S ADPAPER, apparently having not done enough of a job with its last promo, issues a follow-up campaign for KFC.



A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO BRUCE!

Posted 1:04 PM by Gene

Con-SER-va-tive pundits are alarmed by His Omnipotence's sextuple-fisted, muscle-building, spinach-eating, steroid-popping notion that AMERICA CAN STAND ANOTHER TERRORIST ATTACK!!!!! We think we know what Abe Lincoln II MEANT: that America has the guts to stare down its enemies. But as we've said, The Second Coming of Christ would rather not make enemies, because having enemies could mean having to fight them, and God does NOT like fighting (except the run-off-at-the-mouth political kind). And because FDR was a PROFESSOR we have to parse His every word, as when He conspicuously avoided mentioning His fellow God the other day, and so we must assume JFK said that if we take another hit, fine -- just meekly taking the hit shows how great we are. This is the ETERNAL ORATORICAL GENIUS we elected, a titan who can't let the words trip blithely off His tongue without them tripping HIM up.

Posted 11:54 AM by Gene

Programming for Dummies: Dissastisfied, Some Wall Street Technologists Flee for Start-Up Life [SIC!!!!!]

Say that quickly ten times!

Posted 11:40 AM by Gene

SUPERCHICKEN ZAP declares the European money crisis OVER!!!!!

Posted 11:06 AM by Gene

PLAYER ARRESTED!!!!!

The computers were supposed to help Detroit Public Schools students compete in a high-tech world. That's until burglars broke into schools, hauled away laptops worth $158,800 and sold them as far away as the Middle East.

On Tuesday, 10 men, including a Michigan State University football player and another MSU student, were charged with participating in a crime ring that sold 104 stolen computers in seven other states, Canada and the United Arab Emirates. Internal tracking devices led officials to stolen DPS computers.

You gotta beeeee a foot-balllll HEEEEEEEEEE-ROOOOOOOOO....

Second-year player figures to earn his share of playing time at tight end!!!!! [Well, it depends on where he'll be playing.]

2009 SEASON (FRESHMAN): Named to the Big Ten All-Freshman Team by the Sporting News and Rivals.com!!!!!

HIGH SCHOOL AND PERSONAL DATA: Tom Lemming's Prep Football Report, SuperPrep and PrepStar All-American!!!!! [Heroic overemphasis added]

Who knew sports hacks are ignoramuses?

...majoring in finance.

THAT we believe.

Posted 10:59 AM by Gene

...an organically grown station such as EVR deftly leveraging street cred, an easy relationship with artists, and the identity of a bohemian counterculture neighborhood into a burgeoning Internet audience....

Finally! We get OUR kind of radio station!

Somebody's lobbying for no royalties. Does any "news" story not serve a covert purpose?

(Via the usual annoying AHTSJournal)

Posted 10:33 AM by Gene

One of our favorite sites for burning money on CDs and DVDs has this on sale. We probably won't buy it -- we'd rather not see Raquel as a dental assistant however briefly because it reminds us of our teeth -- but this is yet another sign that despite all the GREATEST ARTISTIC ACHIEVEMENTS OF THE LAST QUARTER CENTURY Hollywood used to be able to do certain things better.

Posted 10:27 AM by Gene

Did JIMMAH's one term have this many fights?

[T]he book describes a professorial president who assigned “homework” to advisers...

We sure aren't grading YOU on a curve.

...but bristled at what he saw as military commanders’ attempts to force him into a decision he was not yet comfortable with. Even after he agreed to send another 30,000 troops last winter, the Pentagon asked for another 4,500 “enablers” to support them.

The president lost his poise, according to the book. “I’M DONE DOING THIS!!!!!” he erupted.

To ensure that the Pentagon did not reinterpret his decision, Mr. Obama dictated a six-page, single-space “terms sheet” explicitly laying out his troop order and its objectives, a document included in the book’s appendix. [JIMMAH-II-LOSING-HIS-POISE overemphasis added]

Now think health care....

Posted 10:25 AM by Gene

This does not compute: The cash pile called BUGMEISTERDOM is raising its dividend and borrowing money to keep its shareholders happy. Its stock is down two percent.

Or maybe it does compute given where the money comes from.

Posted 8:36 AM by Gene

We wish to make it clear we deplore vandalism of public property, but when the commercials come in at FULL EARTH-SHATTERING VOLUME on these New York subway cars the proprietors can't entirely plead ignorance.

Posted 8:34 AM by Gene

And speaking of intolerable hype, the cri-TICS ADORE THE THIRD GREATEST ARTISTIC ACHIEVEMENT OF THE LAST QUARTER CENTURY because -- it uses NINETY-YEAR-OLD RECORDINGS!

DOWN WITH NEWS HACKS!

Posted 8:23 AM by Gene

Huffington Snags NY Times Star!!!!!!!!!! (WaPo) [MediaBistro starring overemphasis added]

TRANSLATION: Huff 'n' Puff's using its venture-capital money. We have NEVER had a fully truthful story about Huff 'n' Puff OR Nick Dorken. No hack has EVER given us credible FACT-based information that either outfit's making money; all we've gotten are charts posted by interns on CuteLittlePinkPaper.com which they charmingly insist show Nick IS MAKING MONEY!!!!! In the absence of facts we're left with the bloviating of two megalomaniacs. We know exceedingly well how many topics are off-limits to the truth with hacks; that these two are now at the top of the list says whether our supposed leading Web news sites are healthy is none of our business.

And the fact HOWIE HAIRSHIRT wrote it is a FURTHER demerit. (We have not clicked on the link and will not click.)

Posted 2:22 PM by Gene

Maybe this fiasco called The Commonwealth Games will make EDDIES think twice before spending zillions on THE GAMES. We doubt it.

Posted 2:08 PM by Gene

Hey Tony! Joe! Give me $3 million a year and I'll gladly take YOUR ulcers.

Posted 2:03 PM by Gene

If this anonymous typist hadn't cited THE SECOND GREATEST ARTISTIC ACHIEVEMENT OF THE PAST QUARTER-CENTURY I might have taken his/her/its bromides against "fun" in the office more seriously. And this typist is on to something. Enforced fun is as much as imposition as any autocratic doctrine, only worse as it goes so radically against human nature, and worse still if you're forced to have fun to get paid. Typist could have said that in a paragraph but then he/she/it wouldn't have fun working for THE GREATEST NEWSMAGAZINE IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE.

DOWN WITH NO-BYLINES!

Posted 12:55 PM by Gene

Am I the only person who is perfectly uninterested (or as NEWS HACKS would say, DISINTERESTED) in the Facebook soap opera? There are only three possible outcomes: 1. Someone will get rich vastly beyond justification, 2. Someone will sue somebody for getting rich vastly beyond justification, and 3. Someone has a good chance at losing all that money when people finally learn it wasn't justified.

Posted 12:51 PM by Gene

THE ARM-WAVING ENTHUSIAST asks a hypocritical question:

At this point in his career — 40 features in about as many years — Mr. Allen has both mastered his craft and grown indifferent to it. Does he take any pleasure in making these movies? Does he expect the audience to take any?

To which the answer must be: Why must ANY audience take pleasure in ANY movee when the whole point is to please cri-TICS and win awards? And what's the difference between THIS masterwork and those approved by ARM-WAVING ENTHUSIASTS except this one didn't meet A. O.'s approval?

Posted 10:36 AM by Gene

Ahmadinejad says capitalism faces defeat

Why not -- with nuclearism?

Posted 10:18 AM by Gene

THE CRAINIACS DO IT AGAIN! Now they bemoan all these ad-agency types quitting their jobs. Don't forget: THERE IS MORE ADVERTISING NOW THAN EVER. Why is it suddenly rocket science to get business? THERE IS MORE ADVERTISING NOW THAN EVER. We KNOW.

Just don't anyone tell the CLIENTS.

Posted 10:14 AM by Gene

Via the usual intransigent AHTSJournal:

Christie's Choice Of New CEO Surprises "In a surprising and unlikely move, auctioneer Christie's has hired, from outside, a former publishing, record company and Disney executive as its CEO. For the firm known for, literally, centuries (it was founded in 1766) of Eton-educated top managers and very little turnover, this is a huge cultural shift."

Why not? Someone realizes aging boomers will pay $20 million for comic books.

Posted 9:12 AM by Gene

WATCHDOG: O'DONNELL 'CLEARLY A CRIMINAL'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Criminal overemphasis added]

The Washington Post has variously described CREW as a "liberal watchdog group",^[2] "nonprofit watchdog group",^[3] "advocacy group",^[4] and "nonpartisan watchdog group".^[5] Roll Call reported in January 2008 that CREW files most of its complaints against members of Congress, and "all but a handful... have targeted Republicans". The article stated that CREW had issued press releases against Democrats but usually had not filed complaints against them, with the exception of Senator Mary Landrieu, a conservative Democrat.^[6] ...

Melanie Sloan serves as CREW's Executive Director. Prior to starting CREW in 2003, she served as an Assistant U.S. Attorney in the District of Columbia, after having worked for Congressional Democrats John Conyers, Charles Schumer, and Joseph Biden.^[15] [Link]

For the last three days (and we should have mentioned this before) we've tried getting our spanking new home-built computer running but have fought a seemingly insoluble conflict between two audio sources. (The problem is quite widespread.) We tried one solution yesterday from the EVGA site's forums but so screwed it up we just shut off our computer for the rest of the night, intent on trying again today. (This time we follow the instructions.) And so for several hours we did without a computer. It was a relaxing feeling, although we couldn't help noticing the faint twinge of withdrawal similar to what we'd feel if we kicked our Coca-Cola habit. By doing without the Web we do without people whose first intent is to grind us into the ground, be they conservatives or liberals, and this story alone proves that for all the mindless chatter about computers improving our lot forever and ever they only give us the same old bad in an industrial-strength new. I may do without the Web more often from here on out -- if I can kick that habit.

P. S. And if I fix that problem it's on to another one involving sudden random BSODs.

Posted 12:30 PM by Gene

U.S. recession ended June 2009, NBER finds

DOW 3 ZILLION!!!!!!!!!!

Yet the NBER also cautioned that its findings bear no relation to the current state of the economy or represent a forecast about the future. If another downturn occurs anytime soon, the NBER said, it would constitute a separate recession.

DOW 10 ZILLION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 9:47 AM by Gene

I wonder how many of these HOT news hacks now venturing onto the Web will like their relative obscurity? And let us not forget -- some of them are already approaching the twilights of their careers, and they may not have B. S. DEFENDER's penchant for self-promotion.

Fineman's move from a print medium to online news is a sign that The Huffington Post, which has until now heavily relied on young bloggers, is maturing.

It's also a sign it'll have to pay huge salaries to the stars, which means now Huff-'n'-Puff's REALLY going to have to fake hits. More NSFW, anyone?

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 9:41 AM by Gene

SUPERNIKKI!!!!! may think she's being SUPERSMART!!!!! by getting another dig in at JEFF ZUCKS, but SUPERNIKKIS have this way of anointing executive geniuses, and as we all know Jeff WAS a GENIUS on TODAY.

Posted 9:30 AM by Gene

Why must college be organized into semesters? Why can't students take classes when they want to?

Posted 9:18 AM by Gene

God knows WRONG is The Paper of Re-CORD's middle name; but God also knows DEMOCRATIC is its OTHER middle name.

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

AN INSTANT CLASSIC:

CUNY to offer nation's first Master's degree in entrepreneurial journalism
Romenesko Misc.

The City University of New York Graduate School of Journalism says it's establishing the nation's most intensive program in entrepreneurial journalism with the creation of the Tow-Knight Center for Entrepreneurial Journalism and the nation's first Master of Arts degree in Entrepreneurial Journalism. Jeff Jarvis will head the center.

Read the Entire Post

Posted at 8:41 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

With his long history of pleasing his bosses B. S. DEFENDER is EXCEPTIONALLY well qualified to lead a program of ENTREPRENURIAL JERNALISM.

How 'bout KEN FELATTA and LOU DOBBS as PERFESSERS? At the very least there should be an ALAN ABELSON CHAIR for DISTINGUISHED BUSINESS BS. And maybe ROGER EBERT and DICK CORLISS could teach classes in SHOW-BIZ ENTREPRENEURIALISM?

And the FOUNDING DEAN STEPHEN SHEPARD edited BizWeek. Was that in the days it proclaimed THE DONALD worth $500 megazillions? Or when JOHN BYRNE first spoke the holy name of his future boss LEGENDARY WELCH? ENTREPRENEURIAL!



ALL THAT DAVOS SCHMOOZING PAID OFF!

Posted 8:33 AM by Gene

No, I would not be surprised if we had an agnostic president.

Who needs God with God?

Posted 8:24 AM by Gene

AP Interview: Ahmadinejad says future is Iran's

Yes, he is holding it hostage.

Posted 8:21 AM by Gene

Steinbrenner Monument to Be Unveiled Today Before Yankees-Rays

Posted 1:03 PM by Gene

How many of today's "flaming bomb throwers" become tomorrow's wet firecrackers?

Posted 10:15 AM by Gene

9:53 AM The cost of insuring Irish debt against default rises to a record high, up 46 basis points from yesterday, and government bond yields also jump. The weakness was sparked by a Barclays research note warning that Ireland may need to seek financial help from the IMF or EU if conditions get any worse.

DOW 10,000,000,000!!!!!

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

So SUMNER's holding a rock concert (or is that two rock concerts?) on the Mall but to get free advertising He's calling them rallies. This is why BIGMEDIA can pound us with the iron fist in the titanium glove -- and this is why we must learn to pound them back.

Posted 9:11 AM by Gene

Five held over 'terror threat' to pope

All...Buddhists!

Pfffffffffffffffffft!

Posted 8:57 AM by Gene

I don't know who Brian is, but I think he's got a BRILLIANT idea in getting LEGENDARY WELCH to run UMASS. I can see it now: applying SIX SIGMA to teaching! Weeding out the bottom ten percent of students -- and faculty! Charging so much for tuition He can start a BANK for student loans! Outsourcing the cafeterias to India! Who knows -- maybe He could do an IPO! This has so much to recommend to I don't know where to begin!

Next time, Brian, just write a résumé.

...a risible puff piece incorporating wildly implausible yet flattering suggestions involving a powerful figure in exchange for face/telephone time.

The less stupid NEWS HACKS think their readers the more money they might make.

Posted 9:13 PM by Gene

We said several years ago someday this megalomaniac would play Shylock on Branson East. This is but the first step there.

Posted 9:01 PM by Gene

While the Yahoo!ligans offer up another crass ad -- really, we wish Jerry were still there, so he could engage in moral turpitude proudly -- we console ourselves with this hed:

Album Sales Hit Low Mark For Third Time This Year

We further console ourselves to note the top album this past week sold 90,000 copies, which twenty years ago wouldn't have made the top 50.

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

GOING DOWN!!!!!

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

OH, THE PEOPLE YOU'LL MEET: Two dopes -- dope DEALERS sat behind me on the El. One dope -- dealer was out of breath dropping his stash and evading the cops (he said). The other dope -- dealer was headed to a hospital to pick up drugs (legal) no doubt paid for by us. His Omnipotence would have hugged himself. The runner was 30ish but looked older, skinny (as well he would be evading cops) with a moustache and goatee and a light brown casual shirt and beige droopy drawers, and a white baseball cap (backwards); the other was about 30 and 200 pounds with a navy blue sport shirt and light gray droopy drawers. I have long questioned the utility of cell phones but a discreet one would have come in handy then.

Posted 2:57 PM by Gene

Remember when DAN BLATHER's defenders repeated the mantra "fake, but accurate"?



This time, with irony.

Posted 2:44 PM by Gene

The occasion of Stewart’s appearance this time, like it was in 2004, is so he can hawk a book -- in this case, "Earth (The Book)."

In return, O’Reilly will return the favor – agreeing to appear on the “Daily Show” on September 27. Perhaps O’Reilly will promote his “Bold & Fresh Tour” Tour of the country with Glenn Beck.

A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR -- pardon -- THE FAULT, DEAR BRUTUS....

Posted 2:43 PM by Gene

Getting rid of all that obsolete technological gobbledygook will only mean you can get your junk to market faster, plus you can use the money saved for MARKETING that won't work.

Posted 10:46 AM by Gene

We are not surprised PILLHEAD believed WIKIPEDIA. After all, 500 TRILLION listeners believe HIM.

(Via WOLFFMAN!!!!!)

Posted 10:45 AM by Gene

Tina Brown Interviews Tony Blair

What a...natural.

Read it at The Harvard Crimson

But not in the BEAST?

Posted 10:41 AM by Gene

If the issue of federal pay does take off, surely somebody, somewhere, sooner or later, will make the obvious point. Republican politicians were in charge of the entire federal workforce when compensation went into the stratosphere and federal employees began living a life beyond the reach of the average citizens who pay their salaries. Eric Cantor will want to explain that to all those “fed-up Americans.”

Andrew Ferguson in The Weekly Standard?!?!?

Posted 10:19 AM by Gene

GM CEO: repayment of bailout could take years

You hint-hinting something, Dan?

Posted 3:14 PM by Gene

Do You Know Where Your Commercials Are?

Despite Advanced Tech, Marketers Seem to Have Little Idea Where Their Ads Actually Appear

The CRAINIACS seem to want to top themselves with self-serving outrages. The advertiser's willful ignorance is the handmaiden of the 10-minute commercial pod. The whole industry is predicated on willful ignorance. Willful ignorance allows advertisers to build fiefdoms that stick it to their customers while giving them plausible deniability when their moolah finances vilest sleaze or winds up in a 10-minute pod -- or ideally both. This story and the last prove incontrovertibly that advertising agencies and their clients are parasitic liars, yet we'll never be able to deprive them of their livelihoods.

Posted 2:49 PM by Gene

I couldn't stand THE NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN ZONE long before Tunku decided it would be fashionable to be TINA!!!!!'s token conservative.

Posted 2:01 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: MICKEYMOUSE NIXON tries MODESTY.

(Via the usual Romy, who obviously doesn't watch the Big C. Don't blame you!)

Posted 1:39 PM by Gene

And since we mentioned that Pew Foundation survey, we must say anyone who relies heavily on certain sources for "information" is misinformed, but in different ways. The geezers who watch the decaying nightly-news triumvirate get a highly diluted version of The Paper of Re-CORD's front page and an unhealthy dose of condescension. Those who rely on the PILLHEADS are misinformed because they get only what they want to hear. Those who rely on the COMEDY CENTRAL NEWS NETWORK are misinformed because not only do they get what they want to hear, when something from the evil forces happens ED and ERIC tend to be very behind the curve, and making up for it with frantic investigative joke telling aimed at ADAM!!!!! may not help the viewers. Of course those who rely on The Paper of Re-CORD know everything. Given who runs PEOPLE WARNER those relying on CNN know nothing.

Happily those relying on the Web are misinformed too because they have to engage in a wild-goose chase skimming surfaces.

Posted 12:10 PM by Gene

There MUST be a directive from GanNETt corporate HQ, because USAOKAY!!!!! has started its perennially irritating SUPER BOWL ADS campaign NOW!

The only thing more irritating is realizing how many thousands of meetings and hundreds of thousands of hours the lunkhead INDRA and PepsiCo have spent on this.

Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

It's not likely that Netflix will ever be able to offer a satisfying alternative to live programming. Still with most monthly cable fees running north of $70, digital alternatives such as those run by Netlfix and other video-on-demand companies are becoming increasingly palatable.

And not a moment too soon.

Posted 8:38 AM by Gene

The public affairs office of the Democratic Party (aka our fearless First Amendment defending state press) has a strategy: If we call the Tea Party candidates WACKO often enough...

...we can call you BIASED STOOGES even more often!

As we said last night, some of them are a little off the deep end -- and as we also said last night, the state press is off the other deep end.

Posted 8:33 AM by Gene

How AudioAnimatronic is BRANSON EAST becoming? Our favorite Branson East columnist Mike says the theme park operators are using TelePrompTers and earpieces!

Posted 8:19 AM by Gene

EXCELSIOR! with THE LORD GOD STEVE:

Apple is selling some 17 million apps per day, and they may begin to outsell music downloads by the end of this year. Android too is catching up to iTunes' 250,000 apps, boasting about 70,000, and BlackBerry isn't far behind. The app market is huge, right?

Not according to a new study by Nielsen and the Pew Research Center. Only around 35% of adult cell phone owners have apps on their phone (including preloaded apps), and only 24% actually use them. Although apps have generated huge profits for developers, they still rank very low on cell phone users' mobile activities. Texting and taking pictures are now common among adults--more than 70% use these features--but downloading apps still has a long way to go: Just 29% of adult cell-phone owners have downloaded apps, a percentage lower than recording video and playing music.

What's more, adults rarely pay for apps. Of the thousands of adults surveyed, a mere 13% have paid for an app. The majority opt for free apps, if anything, and even of those who are willing to pay, 60% have dropped less than $2.99. Apps also have a low shelf life: more than half of users have deleted apps, and the majority of those who have do so within two weeks.

CAVEAT at 9:20 a. m.: This is from the same Pew Foundation report that says practically ALL 18-to-34-year-olds watch the COMEDY CENTRAL NEWS NETWORK!!!!!

(First link via WOLFFMAN!!!!!; second link via MediaBistro)

Posted 9:36 PM by Gene

And speaking of BIGMEDIA STOOGES:

Last year, Christopher Hayes gave $250 to the congressional campaign of a good friend, Alabama Democrat Josh Segall.

That’s hardly noteworthy, but for one factor: Hayes is the Washington, D.C., editor of The Nation, a left-leaning news magazine that covers U.S. politics. And his political donation is not an anomaly in journalism, where donating to or otherwise advocating for politicians is often taboo – if not prohibited outright by some news companies.

Hayes is one of 235 people who identified themselves on government documents as journalists, or as working for news organizations, who together have donated more than $469,900 to federal political candidates, committees and parties during the 2010 election cycle, a Center for Responsive Politics analysis indicates.

People identifying themselves as working for hard news outlets such as the Washington Post, the New York Times, the New York Post, News Corp., Vanity Fair and Reuters are among the listed donors. Also listed are employees from outlets offering lighter fare -- ESPN, Vogue -- or community news. Some have donated thousands of dollars.

The average contribution per person identified is eight times Hayes’ amount, and because of some big-spending media professionals, that number is slightly skewed upwards -- with the median amount donated coming in at $500. Sixty-five percent of all identified donations went to Democrats, the Center’s research indicates.

Also not surprising:

Of the 22 political contribution-making media professionals OpenSecrets Blog attempted to contact, nine returned voice and e-mail messages. Of them, three declined to comment....

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 9:27 PM by Gene

We are somewhat saddened to learn Rep. Castle has lost to a flailing Palinist, especially as he seems such a gentleman; but what bothers us isn't the notion of ideological purity -- and we can understand the party faithful throwing this longtime stalwart out because so many of the RINOs are BIGMEDIA stooges -- but that we have another BECK OLBERMANN of whatever stripe with an ALWAYS-ON!!!!! style who shuts down when the red light does, and who may not have a brain to turn on (as witness RAND!!!!! PAUL!!!!!). The voters are entitled to screaming meemies if that's what they want. They should not be surprised if they themselves start to scream.

Posted 10:36 AM by Gene

Howie Hairshirt MUST tell us that Jack -- uh, I think his name was Amberson, one of the great JERNALISTIC HEROES of all time, was a NIXON TOO.

Anderson [THAT'S his name?], who died in 2005, may seem a remote figure today....

But only yesterday he SAVED THE WORLD!!!!!

Posted 9:31 AM by Gene

Well we weren't that far off: Cuba's about to lay off ten percent of its government work force. Since government is the only work people have what will Cubans do for a living?

Posted 9:22 AM by Gene

As bad as their raw naked ADVERTISING is, when the hacks go into their thinker mode it's far worse. Hacks don't have a hundredth of the firepower needed to be public intellectuals but that doesn't stop them from indecent exposures. This USAOKAY!!!!! piece will stand as a classic of its kind; it's what gets Prof. Shafer to fume over fake trends. Not everyone is peeking at others' cell phones, and I don't give two hoots for my neighbor's private life -- when we're all a slightly different shade of dull who but the hopelessly bored is inclined to care? -- but SOB AL's first-person plural never entirely disappeared from OKAY!!!!!, and at OKAY!!!!! we have to make a big thing of every showy mirage.

Posted 8:50 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: For news hacks ED MURROW has become IMUS without the liquor.

And natch, this blazing hero-worship mentions the word "ratings" ONCE. The advantage of digital media is that its traces may disappear faster than print's, meaning its embarrassments disappear too.

Posted 2:16 PM by Gene

New Medicare chief speaks out against rationing

Well somebody's running for...never mind.

Posted 1:58 PM by Gene

Th[e] diversification of HBO's business is essential given the strong possibility that the network's core business has peaked. There may be no simpler explanation for the absence of subscriber growth. "Thirty million might be where the ceiling is," said Myers.

Maybe because only so many people want to watch THE GREATEST TELEVISION IN ALL RECORDED HISTORY -- and fewer still want to pay a not-so-small fortune for it.

Posted 1:55 PM by Gene

The latest fad in academe is textbook rentals.

That's easy -- just charge the rental agencies more.

Posted 1:48 PM by Gene

LITTLE MALCOLM SEZ THE IPAD WILL CHANGE THE WORLD FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!

I think we have a new name for our "Please Fold As Soon As Possible" list.

Posted 1:34 PM by Gene

MICKEYMOUSE NIXON'S RUNNING FOR CHAIRMAN!!!!!

In hindsight, former Disney CEO Michael Eisner calls his decision in 1995 to buy CapCities/ABC, and with it, its crown jewel ESPN, "ONE OF THE BEST ACQUISITIONS MAYBE OF THE WHOLE CENTURY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Best overemphasis added)

ESPNCORP on July 28, 1995: $19.10 a share. ESPNCORP TODAY: $34.22 A SHARE. UP 5.87 PERCENT A YEAR IN FIFTEEN YEARS -- BEFORE INFLATION! SMASHING, MR. TRIBUNE CHAIRMAN!



A GREATLY APPRECIAT...ING NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO RYAN!

(Via I Want Media)

Posted 10:56 AM by Gene

Since we will NOT take care of Iran the best we can do is sell arms to our "friends" the Saudis -- and hope THEY don't get swept up in a fit of religious fervor.

(Via TINA!!!!!)

Posted 9:35 AM by Gene

Hey, if I were a Democrat I wouldn't boast too loud either!

Posted 11:12 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: HONORARY MAYOR MIKE thinks he can be president without being president.

His last time before the voters in 2009—which came after a controversial move to extend term limits—resulted in a surprisingly narrow five-percentage point win, even after spending a staggering $109 million.

Well, he does have the money....

Posted 10:04 PM by Gene

If it's Sunday it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:

1. 10-minute commercial pods are WHAT ADVERTISERS WANT. Oh, they won't admit to it, but in buying air time incontinently advertisers consent to any and all ways of buying it, including 10-minute pods. They don't care so long as they get their time. And why should corporate America care about anything, its aim being to make its rep from top to bottom worse than the oil biz' or airlines?

To build a 10-minute ad break Aug. 27, Spike started off with a promo for its UFC programming, then ran spots for DirecTV; Unilever's Axe shampoo; B.F. Goodrich; Schering-Plough's Zegerid OTC; Jack Link's beef jerky; VF Corp.'s Lee Jeans; Screen Gems' latest "Resident Evil" movie; AT&T; Miller Lite beer; and Progressive Insurance.

But wait, there's more: Ads also ran during the break for PepsiCo's Mtn Dew soda; Pep Boys; Trojan condoms; Outback Steakhouse; Mobil motor oil; Sony Corp.'s Vaio laptop; Diageo's Captain Morgan Lime Bite rum; Kraft Foods' Dentyne gum; a DVD for the FX program "Sons of Anarchy"; and UFC action figures. The break was then garnished with what appeared to be two ads from local cable operators. Other popular marketers with ads in the extended "Entourage" breaks included Allstate, Domino's, Yum Brands' Taco Bell, Colgate-Palmolive's Colgate Wisp, Mars' Snickers and Esurance.

In the words of the NRA, WE DO OUR PART!

"Viewers don't like clutter," said Debbie Solomon, managing director-business planning, at WPP's MindShare.

WHY DO VIEWERS COUNT? ALL YOU WANT ARE NUMBERS!

One ad-buying executive frowned. "We know every network at times shoehorns in additional commercials to boost revenue, especially in programs with higher unit costs," said [THE ALL-TOO-FREQUENTLY QUOTED] Andrew Donchin, director of investment at Aegis Group's Carat. "But this situation is especially egregious and very troubling. It not only devalues the commercial messages but, unfortunately, also raises the suspicion that other networks may be playing the same games."

WHY SHOULD YOU CARE SO LONG AS IT'S OUR MONEY AND YOU SPEND IT? YOU'RE WORSE THAN GOVERNMENT!

And government can burn money "in the public interest".

"This is not the direction that television is going in. Television is going the other way, to have shorter breaks so that people can't just skip our advertising," said Ed Gold, advertising director at State Farm Insurance. The company had its ads appear in two different ad breaks each about nine minutes in length during Spike telecasts of "Entourage" episodes Friday, Aug. 27. "I will tell you right now, we at State Farm find an eight-minute-to-10-minute commercial break unacceptable," he added.

AND THE NEXT TIME I SEE MY BOSS I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THAT FIFTEEN-MINUTE POD'S UNSKIPPABLE!

And one very good self-serving excuse:

To be sure, Spike has some challenges when trying to run "Entourage." The episodes of the bawdy HBO show about a movie star and his pals often have to be cut to meet basic-cable standards of decency, leaving Spike to fill extra time (The length of "Entourage" episodes can vary, but are typically delivered to Spike between 21 and 24 minutes in length). Ratings for the program have not been stellar since Spike started running it in January; the network paid a hefty fee of around $600,000 per episode, according to several press reports.

"We don't want to put our customers in an environment that is not appropriate for their commercial messages," said Jeff Lucas, exec VP-sales, at MTV Networks' Entertainment Group. "If there's a problem, we'll fix it."

YOU'VE FIXED IT VERY WELL, SUMNER. Without a doubt this is by far the most exasperating thing ADVERTISERS and the CRAINIACS have EVER done.

2. Killing Off 30-second Spot Is Bad Medicine for OTC Drug Industry

Not to worry: with SUMNER's help we can run TWENTY-MINUTE ADS, complete with FIVE MINUTES OF DISCLAIMERS to shut the feds up.

Posted 1:36 PM by Gene

If you're a ROCK mu-SICK cri-TICK of course smaller venues would mean "a better show". It might also mean not as many are willing to pay for the genius of mu-SICK -- or worse, that the genius of mu-SICK might NOT be worth paying for. But isn't POLLYANNA every ROCK mu-SICK cri-TICK's middle name?

Posted 1:23 PM by Gene

In more news of TOLERANCE:

From 3- and 4-year-olds used as human shields or to gather spent cartridges, to teenagers offered motorcycles for planting roadside bombs, children are being used more and more to fight Americans here, U.S. Marines say.

"We've seen children actually dropping mortar rounds in the (firing) tubes against us," says Lt. Col. Michael Manning, commander of the 1st Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment that is rotating home after seven months in this hilly northern district of Helmand Province.

"I've never seen a culture that cares so little for human life. They (the Taliban) truly don't care unless it impacts their own personal family," says Manning, who has lost 13 Marines and seen 127 wounded since March.

And would someone PLEASE call off the rioters? Your fellow idiot canceled!

Posted 9:34 AM by Gene

I guess it will be, sighhhhhhhhhh.

Posted 5:56 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: YouTube will always be nearing profitability.

(Via Tom's Hardware)

Posted 2:22 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: CHEAP CHANNEL WANTS you stuck in traffic -- so you can listen to MORE ADS!

Posted 1:55 PM by Gene

It is time for this message to get louder and clearer: tighten YOUR belts, Congresspoops, before you force us to tighten OURS.

But no matter how loud the public screams, our SUPERIORS will ALWAYS think they're doing a SWELL JOB. (CAVEAT: Somebody's selling A BOOK.)

Posted 1:45 PM by Gene

I really don't want to mention THAT DAY but because we can obsess over it nine years later -- and the obsessions are sure to double next year -- says Osama committed the most brilliant and forward-thinking act of evil in history, far smaller than anything Hitler and Stalin could have devised, but they'd be in awe of it. Clearly he knew he was striking at an America already politically and culturally hobbled; he knew a nation so hobbled could in time be brought down by its own doubts, and just as more than one writer has said Osama helped screw up our economy for the long haul (although he must thank the former Wizard of Oz and the MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE), one must also note it led in time to the accession of a God with so many doubts about His nation He cannot think of a circumstance to defend it. And so it is apt that New York still has a hole in the ground nine years later, and the hole in our nation's being has not yet filled in either. A stronger nation, a nation sure and sound, would not have it there.

We should note this excellent interactive feature on the site. The hole is SLOWLY filling in, but it is still a hole, and it will be five or six years before the immediate vicinity is finished, and years beyond until the last remnants of construction have ceased. (Via CJR)

Posted 1:39 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Roger "Thumbs® Up" Ebert's going into the TV-production business, and he's producing mostly raves.

Two more millionaire toadies!

But Roger, why didn't you hire F. X.? That would have made it the TRIFECTA of TOADYING!

Posted 12:16 PM by Gene

NOW YA DONE IT:

Aside from the cost of buying 3D sets at a time the technology is just becoming available, the glasses required to watch them are a major hindrance. Fifty-seven per cent of people surveyed cited the glasses as a reason they were not likely to buy a set. Nearly nine in 10 people worry that it will constrain them from multitasking while the TV is on, the survey said.

(As quoted by the usual AHTSJournal)

Posted 12:08 PM by Gene

Speaking of PLAYER ARRESTED:

So far this year through August, 125 college and professional football and basketball players have been arrested on serious charges. By that I mean felonies or misdemeanors involving violence, weapons or substance abuse. That's pretty astounding. At this rate, the number will be up around 200 by year's end.

But you see, they're growing up!

(Via Inside Higher Ed)

Posted 11:03 AM by Gene

The video-game slump will continue because the biz knows nothing but first-person shooters and John Madden. And Madden's retired.

Posted 8:59 AM by Gene

Yesterday we mentioned the hack's favorite crutch, factoids. Today (via I Want Media again) we find another one (from Yahoo!, how too apt):

In August, people spent a total of 41.1 million minutes on Facebook, comScore said, about 9.9 percent of their Web-surfing minutes for the month. That just barely surpassed the 39.8 million minutes, or 9.6 percent, people spent on all of Google Inc.'s sites combined, including YouTube, the free Gmail e-mail program, Google news and other content sites.

It would be nice to reduce this to practical terms -- how many minutes is that per Web user per day? How much time does the typical Facebook user spend making "friends"? But even assuming a tenth of Americans were on Facebook, that would be only 0.04 minutes a day -- or roughly 2.4 seconds. But it is another nifty factoid -- nifty and completely useless.

Which is why news hacks can spend so much of their waking hours inventing crises from thin air.

How unnerving: most of my recent posts have been on the self-referential kingdom of MEDIA -- but what else is there?

(Corrected 9/12/2010)

Posted 8:54 AM by Gene

"Some things in media are about who is running [it]. Some assets are managed well, some aren't. People do make the difference."

AND I, MICKEYMOUSE NIXON, MAKE THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE!!!!!

(Via I Want Media)

Posted 8:47 AM by Gene

WE'RE LIVING IN A GOLDEN AGE OF TELEVISION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Golden overmemphasis added]

No, no, it can't be -- SID's looking for a SYNERGISTIC sugar daddy?

Posted 8:39 AM by Gene

Well, I said we weren't going to post on that jackassery again, but here comes MediaBistro:

Coverage Of Koran Case Stirs Questions On Media Role (NYT)

...The episode has given rise to at least a little soul-searching within news organizations....

And how can you search your soul when there's a black hole in it?

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

Upcoming indie films full of doom and gloom
Dark tone could be a factor during awards season

We hope so!

Posted 8:24 AM by Gene

JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I know someone who should drop an S-bomb on YOU!

Posted 9:59 PM by Gene

And while the newsrooms suffer a nervous breakdown -- a cheer must have gone up when they heard their latest obsession might continue -- Bloomy gives us three factoids in a story about a million tons of feathers:

According to the Fantasy Sports Trade Association, there are 30 million fantasy players in the U.S. and Canada -- 54 percent more than two years ago. Most of them are pretty good at their jobs: According to a 2009 study by the University of Mississippi, the annual household income of a fantasy sports consumer is $92,750, Bloomberg Business Week reports in its Sept. 13 edition.

Outplacement consulting firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas estimates that American companies might be losing as much as $1.5 billion in productivity during an average football season because of fantasy sports.

So we get sound bites from a lobbying group, a football factory and a personnel firm known for rushing to the red lights of cameras. So many hacks can justify so many stories so many ways it becomes a question of whom can tell the baldest lie most credibly. And when they obsess over trivia as today they can inspire a national outbreak of the willies. How can we ever cut the Gordian knot of news?

And we are not mentioning that infernal nonsense again because it too is A MILLION TONS OF FEATHERS, and will be as gone the day after as any SPORTS CHAMPIONSHIP.

And remember -- A MILLION TONS OF FEATHERS may seem lighter than A MILLION TONS OF LEAD -- until they land on your SKULL.

P. S. In Googling "a million tons of feathers" we found this factoid -- and however true or false it is an apt allegory:

An estimated 5 million tonnes of chicken feathers are produced globally each year as a by-product of meat manufacture. The raw material is tough and chemically resistant.

Currently the feathers are either disposed of in landfill or processed to make a low-grade animal feedstock.

Posted 5:45 PM by Gene

Fla. minister cancels plans to burn Qurans on Sept. 11

Aw JEEZ, idiot -- you were just getting STARTED!!!!!

...to fly to New York to meet with Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf regarding the relocation of the Islamic center near ground zero.

Every super-duper cable-news chief, every HUFF 'n' PUFF and WALTER WINCHELL!!!!! and WOLFFMAN!!!!!, every press imbecile with seven digits to his name, should be the figurative equivalent of DRAWN AND QUARTERED.

Posted 5:33 PM by Gene

And so you don't forget, this year's excruciating publicity stunt will be BROUGHT TO YOU BY "5® REACT™ [SIC!] Gum [i.e., MARS, INC.], freecreditscore.com™, Honda CR-Z Sport Hybrid, Rhapsody®, Samsung Fascinate a Galaxy S phone [SIC!], Taco Bell® and Verizon Wireless"!!!!!

Where are Coke and Pepsi, SUMNER?

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

ANNOYING: FORBELISTBLOG has this habit of running its trademark simple-minded listicles on why certain cities or states have "resilient" economies. The Atlantic has just done the same thing, and it's a worthless exercise for the following four-out-of-five reasons:

1. Eds and Meds

2. Also: Enlisteds

3. Capitals

4. Texas (Or at Least Its Time Zone) [sic]

In short, GOVERNMENT -- and yes, that INCLUDES Texas.



Thanks again, EDDIE!

Posted 5:07 PM by Gene

Hey JIMMAH II! Reinstall those solar panels!

The only foreseeable drawback? Comparisons to the one-term Carter administration is likely something that at the moment the West Wing is trying to avoid.

Which, with luck, will be longer than SIDSWEEK.

Posted 5:01 PM by Gene

The ASSPRESS is doing what it could easily have done fifty years ago for reasons that look craven today.

Posted 10:24 AM by Gene

How do you know when a media obsession has become completely tiresome? When HOWIE HAIRSHIRT writes about it.

Posted 9:47 AM by Gene

Branson East tries a new trick: "high-end dinner theater"!

Posted 9:43 AM by Gene

Exciting news in the world of TWXSTERISM:

TNT Orders Up "Dallas: The Next Generation"

Posted 9:31 AM by Gene

Tucker's idea of a FUNNY:

Posted 9:24 AM by Gene

Who says book revues are dead? SLIME is launching one in His JOURNALS!

More empty raves! More logrolling! More SYNERGY!!!!!

Posted 9:11 AM by Gene

More sharply-honed investigative reporting: The GanNETtoids run a press release for a fast-food chain!



A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO BRUCE!

Posted 9:04 AM by Gene

Yes, THE REV. DR. MARTIN LUTHER BECK, JR.!!!!! and SARAH!!!!! would charge for a 9-11 event.

And why should they be "horsewhipped"? Shouldn't they be congratulated for their spirit of FREE EN-TER-PRISE?

Posted 8:28 AM by Gene

John Kluge, who was RUPERT before He came along -- FOX!!!!!!!!!! was built around Kluge's former holdings -- has died. Our media biz is in greatly deserved trouble because zillionaires like Kluge thought of media as assets, and skimped on the content.

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

"There were no new policies from Mr. Boehner," he said. "There were no new ideas. There was just the same philosophy we already tried for the last decade; the same philosophy that led to this mess in the first place. Cut more taxes for millionaires and cut more rules for corporations."

Let's fix that:

"There are no new policies from your president," he meant. "There are no new ideas. There is just the same philosophy we already tried for the last two years; the same philosophy that exacerbated this mess in the first place. Raise more taxes from everyone and create more rules for corporations and doctors and Lord knows who else."

SIX OF ONE....

Posted 5:02 PM by Gene

Fidel was up to something. Maybe he was just up to being an old man or dying. But he was up to something. We wonder why he chose this interview because he had plenty of opportunities to reform. Perhaps he thinks he can still fool the gringos -- although Jeffrey Goldberg is not stupid. We wonder too if this might be the time for Obama to finally make His mark on history without spending money and offer to get Fidel and his cronies to leave Cuba.

Posted 4:57 PM by Gene

In the old days the hacks would not have exasperated us with such excruciating ad campaigns because they would have given the recipients the partisanly inspired silent treatment, which despite its usual reek would have been most welcome here. But with GanNETt never at $90 again and a lot of their employers in the TV biz and therefore in "reality" programming we get constant ad campaigns, whether for the recorded...SOUND trade's no talents or buffoons committing job-market suicide or psychotic cranks with a cause. Yes, we will banish them from our heads soon enough, but their residue remains, and with each new affront it accretes, and we get angrier and angrier.

We will give the HONORARY MAYOR or His aides credit for being Their definition of broadminded. But dignify such fools and you dignify more fools.