THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Posted
7:22 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:51 PM
by Gene
NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!! ALWAYS DOES.
Posted
5:04 PM
by Gene
Take THAT, Monsieur DIPPITY-DO L'ORANGE!
Posted
4:58 PM
by Gene
What? The zillionaire heavy who singlehandedly brought the shouting match to cable news?
Posted
4:51 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:07 PM
by Gene
This is the printed equivalent of being handcuffed to a bagman parading up and down the street, covered head-to-toe with handwritten signs and yelling at passersby.
Posted
11:10 AM
by Gene
AND YOU CW HACKS ROOT FOR THE VISITORS.
Posted
9:43 AM
by Gene
Where is WILLIAM O. DOUGLAS when you NEED him?
Posted
6:51 AM
by Gene
[D]rop the obsessive honk of blog prose, the self-regard as blatant as the note of a trombone. Ever try scanning back through a blog to find a reference to a story even a few weeks old? There is nothing drearier, more neurotic, than an old blog. Start writing to the short, punchy values of traditional news or to the traditional values of a good essay. Nobody cares about your damn diary.
Amen, BROTHER!
Posted
6:28 AM
by Gene
Let's see the Little Timmy Noahs CWY. Hacks, YOU HAD WATERGATE.
(Sorry for the NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Posted
7:08 PM
by Gene
Republicans have one message for followers of many faiths: Sen. John Kerry is wrong. [Add sound effect here: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!]
Wrong for Catholics, Mormons and Evangelicals say a number of Web sites that the Republican National Committee has created. Each Web site compiles excerpts of Kerry's comments and Senate voting record on social issues such as abortion, civil unions for same sex couples and school choice. [More sound effects: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!]
Some headlines on the Web site for Catholics say, ``Kerry Said Vatican Should Not Instruct Catholic Politicians, Calling It 'Inappropriate''' and ``Kerry Expressed 'Moral Outrage' With Vatican's Statement On Gay Marriage.'' Kerry is -- Catholic. [BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!] [Special CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES OVEREMPHASIS added.]
Kerry campaign spokesman Phil Singer said the tactic is ``premised on the tactics of division, smear and insult. It's unfortunate, it's un-American and John Kerry is going to continue to make his case and make sure his record is not twisted by the Bush attack machine.''
At least one religious coalition, the left-leaning Interfaith Alliance, has called the Web sites insensitive, saying the GOP is trying to interpret religious beliefs for political advantage. Interfaith Alliance president Rev. C. Weldon Gaddy called the tactic ``abhorrent.''
TRANSLATION: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! A WEPUBWICAN'S wunning for PWESIDENT!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
5:16 PM
by Gene
“IT WAS JUST A VERY INARTICULATE WAY OF SAYING SOMETHING AND I HAD ONE OF THOSE INARTICULATE MOMENTS. BUT IT REFLECTS THE TRUTH OF THE POSITION!”
He was better off saying "I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it."
Posted
5:08 PM
by Gene
Iran has been on the verge before, especially in NRO. We hope and pray for the nation's liberation, but we must remember -- the MAD MULLAHS HAVE THE NUKES.
Posted
5:05 PM
by Gene
Go back into your cubicle, Little Timmy, and dream of our defeat in IRAQ. I can see him in a left-wing NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
4:53 PM
by Gene
Doesn't it make you RED-WHITE-AND-BLUE PROUD to BE AN AMERI...to support a GREAT CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT?????
Posted
1:06 PM
by Gene
I'll bet at CREDEEEEEEEEEEE SUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSE the sales -- ANALYSTS are kicking themselves for not having posted a price target of $220.
Posted
1:04 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:47 AM
by Gene
GET A LIFE!!!!!
Posted
11:41 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:31 AM
by Gene
I think we (and especially we MEN) are all mightily upset that Dolly's going to have surgery -- especially when we consider that she's owned two of the Seven Wonders of the World. (And no, they don't include Dollywood.) This is like sandblasting the face off the Sphinx.
I found that out through STERNO, who most certainly found it out from YAHWEH, who found out from ANANOVA.
Posted
11:20 AM
by Gene
The week “SATC” launched on TBS, four episodes ranked in the top 10 for the week, each episode averaging around 3 million households. Last week no episode of “SATC” finished in the top 50 in household delivery.
1. The hard-core fans have already forgotten it -- if they didn't resent it being bowdlerized (not that we're talking Balzac -- and not that the AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS would have minded); and 2. Who needs comedy when you have the Braves' announcers? (Sorry, we like them.)
Unfortunately a lot more politically "astute" stoned slackers are watching VIACON's Comedy Central.
Posted
6:53 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:44 AM
by Gene
How do you say CLUCKCLUCKCLUCKCLUCKCLUCKCLUCKCLUCKCLUUUUUUUUCK!!!!! in Italian?
Posted
6:36 AM
by Gene
I'm not sure I put much stock in those who say things are hunky-dory in Iraq, but let's repeat this: THE HACKS WANT US TO LOSE SO THEY CAN PUT PERPETUAL DEMOCRATS IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
Posted
6:24 AM
by Gene
There is, of course, only one solution: a merger of this historical irrelevance with us, and independence for the Quebecois, who can then nag us just as heartily as the FRENCH.
Posted
6:13 AM
by Gene
On the other hand, given that Shaq is one of America's leading VOCALISTS (pffh-hh-hh) I'd say Kobe has bequeathed him a BRILLIANT CAREER MOVE.
Posted
6:08 AM
by Gene
Hey DIP, when you decided to campaign on your WAR RECORD you committed the ULTIMATE flip-flop.
Posted
6:03 AM
by Gene
That wouldn't bother me; these conferences are becoming as irrelevant as the quadrennial infomercials.
Posted
5:18 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:03 PM
by Gene
Expos' move to D.C. nearly a done deal
Ka-CHINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
4:47 PM
by Gene
Once a schmuck, always a schmuck.
P. S. Bet HARVEY WHINER (ditto) fast-tracked THIS BREAK to MICKEYMOUSE NIXON. Well, they STILL see eye-to-eye on SOME things.
More on this TAXPAYER HANDOUT from BloomyLite.
Posted
4:42 PM
by Gene
Aren't there any conservative professors at Harvard who commit plagiarism? (Over to you, Weekly Standard.)
You don't suppose Timmy's one of those DEMO HACKS who -- naaaaaaaaaaaah.
Posted
10:24 AM
by Gene
I'd say it began the day you first shook hands with the MULLAHS.
Posted
10:12 AM
by Gene
Does this qualify as an inside job?
Posted
10:02 AM
by Gene
G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER'S going to get SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWER!!!!!
P. S.
The analysts acknowledged the inexact science behind Wall Street price targets for stocks. They came up with range from $82 to $220 for the shares, telling clients they "triangulated" to reach the 12-month target price using their own discount cash flow model.
I like sales -- ANALYSTS, don't YOU?
Posted
9:22 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:41 PM
by Gene
The vile spectacle of Democrats rooting for bad news in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Does that include...nah, didn't think so.
Posted
5:17 PM
by Gene
They've both obsessed over their manhood.
Posted
5:04 PM
by Gene
Tony Award winner and current Here Lies Jenny star Bebe Neuwirth joins the cast of the upcoming "Law & Order" spinoff "Trial by Jury," joining fellow stage stalwart Jerry Orbach.
How many times can GE Bancorp Network spin it off before there's nothing left?
I DON'T CARE IF THEY'VE GOT SIX SIGMA. (Laura does -- she's looking for a JOB.)
Posted
4:57 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:18 AM
by Gene
David Frum calls it one thing, little another. Can we put this matter to bed already?
Posted
6:50 AM
by Gene
"Would you trust Kerry against these fanatic killers?"
Ex-Sen. Self-Pity and Ex-Sen. Movie-Star Dater go WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Listen buddies, you had YOUR chance -- with DAN BLATHER.
Posted
6:27 AM
by Gene
What's YOUR salary, MERT? Enough to make the pressmen and delivery people mad, we suspect.
Posted
6:24 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:35 PM
by Gene
(The New York Times Company owns four CBS affiliates.)
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Posted
9:11 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:54 PM
by Gene
After BLATHERGATE no one can doubt NEWS HACKS have it in for Dubya. But conservatives do not grant themselves favors by splitting hairs. Face it, maybe Dubya didn't use the words "mission accomplished" in his speech, but there they were, plastered on an aircraft carrier as if for a Republican rally. The Professor and Andy S. were quite critical of this stunt, as they should have been. But then little has this habit of throwing mighty tantrums.
Posted
1:45 PM
by Gene
Given that it was a soaring tribute for lefty SUPERMEGABLOGGERS, my original point STANDS.
My only solace is that if no one reads most blogs, no one will read the SUPERMEGABLOGGERS after they've finished being the NEXT BIG THING.
Posted
1:10 PM
by Gene
[T]he goal should be to make CBS more honest, not to delegitimize it or drive it out of business. Already there are calls for congressional hearings--a bad idea. Do we want an all-out vengeful assault on CBS, or do we simply want the network to come to its senses and play stories straight?
It should not be impossible to do good news. But it may be impossible to stop vengeance, what with a long and partisan CBS history stretching back to The Selling of the Pentagon, and beyond. And given my preceding post, there's another rub: with media as mere playthings for corporations and GENIUSES, and with men like THE MOONER rubbing his attitude in our faces, why should we expect, or even hope for, improvement? Government hearings, though, ARE a BAD idea.
Posted
1:03 PM
by Gene
One reason the media-industrial complex is in a bind is because of GENIUSES like Marvin Davis, who bought and sold and bought and sold and didn't know or care a damn what they were buying and selling; Fox made the legendary Porky's on his watch. No doubt there will be more Marvin Davises -- and more Porky's -- and more BLATHERGATES.
Posted
11:30 AM
by Gene
Ten years ago Mr. Mark would have called The Mooner a GENIUS. This must count as PROGRESS.
Posted
10:13 AM
by Gene
I'd left my hometown only ten years earlier, wasn't vociferating the opinions of anybody. My destiny lay down the road with whatever life invited, had nothing to do with representing any kind of civilization....
I really was never any more than what I was—a folk musician who gazed into the gray mist with tear-blinded eyes and made up songs that floated in a luminous haze. Now it had blown up in my face and was hanging over me. I wasn't a preacher performing miracles. It would have driven anybody mad.
THE SECOND COMING OF SHAKESPEARE!!!!!!!!!!
P. S. Lest we forget, the greatest composer-lyricist-singer-guitarist-playwright-filmmaker-conscience of all time came out of CBS, the same company that gave us another great writer and conscience, DAN BLATHER.
Posted
9:47 AM
by Gene
OOOOOH, Popeye's started eating SPINACH! See the MUSCLES in his HEAD!!!!!
Posted
9:32 AM
by Gene
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It used to be that male actors had sex appeal. (DON'T GET ME STARTED ABOUT THE FEMALES.) Douglas Fairbanks Sr., Errol Flynn, Cary Grant, Gary Cooper, Robert Taylor -- all were strikingly handsome men with a surfeit of, to use that overworked word, CHARISMA. Now any slob can get into the movies and have an army of PRESS AGENTS (many of whom work for newspapers) call him "SEXY." Sorry, this is just the umpteenth variant of BLATHERGATE, of news hacks refusing to tell the truth, or worse, trying to SELL SOMETHING.
Posted
9:24 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:18 AM
by Gene
Posted
7:23 PM
by Gene
BS News said yesterday that it had postponed a "60 Minutes" segment that questioned Bush administration rationales for going to war in Iraq.
[SIC]
Posted
7:19 PM
by Gene
This much, however, IS true:
In a recent national survey, the Pew Internet and American Life Project found that more than two million Americans have their own blog. Most of them, nobody reads.
Posted
4:11 PM
by Gene
Only -- there seems to be a slight problem with many of them, as in:
404 - File Not Found!
Posted
1:51 PM
by Gene
SHUCKS PINCH, there's ANOTHER CRUSADE that'll have to wait for ANOTHER DAY.
Posted
1:31 PM
by Gene
Another case of six- and seven-digit NEWS HACKS hugging themselves.
Posted
1:20 PM
by Gene
Meantime DANNO stays on through the three presidential debates, meaning VIACON may soon have a corner on lousy employee morale.
Posted
1:18 PM
by Gene
Posted
8:44 AM
by Gene
Obama opposes gay marriage
Oh well, there goes another hero.
Posted
8:40 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:08 AM
by Gene
BUSH TWISTS KERRY'S WORDS ON IRAQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By JENNIFER LOVEN, Associated Press Writer
PRESIDENT BUSH OPENED SEVERAL NEW SCATHING LINES OF ATTACK AGAINST DEMOCRAT JOHN KERRY, CHARGES THAT TWISTED HIS RIVAL'S WORDS ON IRAQ AND MADE KERRY SEEM SUPPORTIVE OF DEPOSED DICTATOR SADDAM HUSSEIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OR:
In Georgetown's East Village, Roger Ballentine and his wife Jennifer Loven have sold their quaint two bedroom semi- detached Federal house at 1346 29th Street, N.W. The buyers who were represented by Trudi Musson, an agent with Sarah Gorman Real Estate, paid $501,000 for the cozy, freshly painted home featuring hardwood floors, a wood burning stove, an updated kitchen, and a quaint stone-walled garden with flowering shrubs and a fountain. The Ballentines were assisted in their sale by Coldwell Banker/Pardoe realtor Nancy Taylor Bubes, who was recently recognized as number two among 4400 agents in Coldwell Banker's Mid-Atlantic Brokerage as well as number two individual agent by the Greater Capitol Association of Realtors (GCAAR). Roger Ballentine is president of Green Strategies, a consulting firm specializing in energy and environmental issues, and was previously deputy assistant to President Clinton for environmental initiatives and chairman of the White House Climate Change Task Force. He also sits on the board of directors of Solar Electric Light Fund (SELF)along with actors Ed Begley, Jr. and Larry Hagman. Jennifer Loven is a reporter for the Associated Press.
FURTHER OR:
Roger previously was a senior member of the White House staff, serving President Bill Clinton as Chairman of the White House Climate Change Task Force and Deputy Assistant to the President for Environmental Initiatives. In these capacities, he directed the administration's efforts on climate change, represented the President in numerous international meetings and negotiations, participated at the highest levels in the development and implementation of energy, clean air and other environmental policy, and advised the President on federal lands and coastal protection policies. Prior to being named Deputy Assistant to the President, Mr. Ballentine was Special Assistant to the President for Legislative Affairs, where he focused on energy and environment issues.
Prior to serving in the White House, Roger was a partner at the Washington law firm of Patton, Boggs L.L.P., where he specialized in public policy, judicial reform and election law matters. Mr. Ballentine also was Adjunct Professor of Law at the Georgetown University Law Center, where he taught in the area of electoral and political law. He has also served as Special Counsel to the Democratic Leadership in the House of Representatives for the handling of election challenges, and has been a frequent television and radio commentator on various matters of public interest.
LET THEM EAT TWISTED WORDS!!!!!
Posted
6:02 PM
by Gene
That's another problem with the Web -- the needles of wisdom sit in a CONagra-sized haystack of dross.
Posted
5:26 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:16 PM
by Gene
Fans of John Williams are up in arms over an apparent glitch in the new Star Wars DVD set in which the left and right channels fed to the rear speakers in surround sound are reversed in the original Star Wars movie (Episode 4). John Takis, who frequently analyzes film scores for Internet groups, points out that the violins can be heard coming from the left surround-sound speakers and the cellos from the left. "It is essentially a 124-minute audio glitch," Takis writes on the John Williams fansite, www.JW-Music.net. "The sound effects are correctly positioned in the surround channels. It's just the music that's backwards." Takis also takes issue with other aspects of the sound mix for the original movie. "Remember the awesome fanfare version of the Force theme that kicks off the Death Star battle?" he writes "Good luck hearing it this time around -- it's virtually inaudible."
I'll echo their response: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!
Posted
2:04 PM
by Gene
Duhh, I don't have the money. I smoked it, duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Posted
12:59 PM
by Gene
"I've had a lot less enjoyment from my gold medal because of this," Hamm says. "I had one day of pure jubilation, the day after the all-around, and then my world fell apart."....
He already has appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, The View, Today, Good Morning America, the CBS Early Show and CNN.
Still waiting in line to get him: Jimmy Kimmel Live, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Last Call with Carson Daly, Saturday Night Live, Mad TV and ABC's 20/20....
He's accepting motivational speaking engagements at $15,000 a pop.
He's OK'ing a walk-on role with Morgan on the new FOX series "Quintuplets."
He's getting ready to audition for a Calvin Klein underwear ad.
He's on tap with Morgan to meet the Bush twins, Jenna and Barbara.
He's mulling book deals — the working title is "My Greek Week."
TRANSLATION: WHINY CRYBABY, SHUT UP.
Posted
12:55 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:53 PM
by Gene
DIPPITY-DO!!!!! is not a nice guy.
Neither is his wife.
Posted
10:47 AM
by Gene
This is known as SPREADING THE WEALTH.
Posted
9:36 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:16 AM
by Gene
Well, as the PULITZER PRIZE-WINNER WALTER DURANTY would say, NOT THE FIRST TIME.
P. S. That punctuation is according to the great theatrical historian Gerald Bordman, who is definitive on such things.
Posted
8:12 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:23 PM
by Gene
Gladly -- if you ever agree with a fatwa against a novelist.
WHOM YOU DON'T MENTION.
P. S. (or rather, P. S.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!):
Mansoor Ijaz is a FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News Channel foreign affairs and terrorism analyst. He joined FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in December 2001 and contributes to FNC’s prime time and weekend news analysis programs on matters related to terrorism, foreign policy and national security. (RUPERTIAN!!!!!!!!!! overemphasis added.)
OH-oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
5:51 PM
by Gene
It helps too that we get no examples of Christian jokes here, which says in itself this comedy's NOT FUNNY.
Posted
5:18 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:11 PM
by Gene
Kerry was asked about his favorite sports Wednesday by a student reporter for an elementary school in West Palm Beach, Fla. Spencer Snitil, 11, who interviewed the candidate for the school's television station, said Kerry named bicycling, hiking and soccer. Apparently, there was no mention of windsurfing.
Posted
5:05 PM
by Gene
DIP has an answer for that, too: LAW ENFORCEMENT.
Posted
5:03 PM
by Gene
Besides your contempt for the Iraqis.
Posted
1:39 PM
by Gene
Some people can't give up their dreams of univers -- er, WORLD domination, can they.
Posted
11:22 AM
by Gene
Are the media having a nervous breakdown?
Never mind that I used the term before she did, so it can't be that original. She continues:
[C]yberspace is populated by a coalition of political obsessives and pundits on speed who get it wrong as much as they get it right. It's just that they type so much they are bound to nail a story from time to time.
The rapturing about the bloggers is the journalistic equivalent of the stock market's Internet bubble.
That second point we'll concede, even though the Internet's still here; but we can't tell the diff between the Web's "political obsessives and pundits on speed" and the pros except the pros obfuscate their shtick with terms like "fairness" and "objectivity." By every conceivable measure DANNO and MARY flunked on both accounts, and a few more besides, and they make more money than an office-building FULL of political obsessives and pundits on speed. And we'll submit DANNO did more drugs for his reporting than have most of the obsessives.
Posted
9:12 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:09 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:52 AM
by Gene
The art world is merely a division of the whole bigmedia-PC-industrial complex, and given such this INFAMOUS fire should be laughed at, the louder and longer the better.
Posted
6:23 AM
by Gene
Who is G000,000,000,000,000GLE's -- MYSTERY FACE?
Bob Dylan? Charles Aznavour? WHO?
Posted
6:17 AM
by Gene
This may be the first remotely negative story on this contemptible stunt, further proof in the post-BLATHERGATE era news hacks are a negative force.
Posted
7:43 PM
by Gene
The page you have tried to reach, /content/news/photos/04/09/17/brainwashedchild.jpg, doesn't exist.
MORONS.
Posted
5:32 PM
by Gene
Not the picture -- THE URL.
And hold your cursor over the picture and you get the word "shooting" in a box.
IDIOTS.
Posted
5:32 PM
by Gene
OR:
Richard Maltby, Jr. is a noted director and lyricist, who co-conceived and directed the Tony-winning revues Ain't Misbehavin' and Fosse. He wrote the lyrics for and also directed the musical Baby. Maltby also penned the lyrics for Broadway's Big, Nick & Nora and Miss Saigon and helped rewrite the lyrics for the American bow of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Song and Dance.
There's a heckuva lotta mediocrity on that resume if y'ask me.
P. S. His father arranged for A-Lawrence A-Welk.
Posted
5:15 PM
by Gene
And I can't link to it because apparently when it changed the post URLs from number-based to word-based G000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER didn't assign one.
(On a more positive note, Buckhead also has something to do with it. Go Buckhead!)
Posted
5:04 PM
by Gene
Yeah, just like you were joking about blackmailing Jim Bakker, consorting with prosties, etc., etc., ETC.
P. S. Those quote marks were the NY Nooz' idea, and they shouldn't have done it, but they're right -- he is an "evangelist."
Posted
4:56 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:49 AM
by Gene
Answer: Russ Meyer.
Posted
9:37 AM
by Gene
Look at yourself in the mirror lately, DIP?
Posted
9:05 AM
by Gene
"Who else is going to work in an art supply store?" asked Steven Steinberg, the 68-year-old owner. (He, however, is not an artist, he specified: "God, no!") His grandfather, Benjamin Steinberg, an immigrant from Russia, opened the store in 1905, selling secondhand goods, including artists' materials. Mr. Steinberg grew up making bicycle deliveries to steady customers like Franz Kline and de Kooning.
"When I was a kid, people actually made careers out of working," he said. "Today, everyone is working hoping to make it big in something else."
One suspects today's Rembrandts would be better off working.
Posted
6:55 AM
by Gene
Unfortunately for us, most of them look like Helen Thomas.
Posted
6:39 AM
by Gene
Let's see, core values: unlimited abortion, beat Bush, PC, beat Bush, beat Bush, beat Bush. I think we've got it!
I stand corrected: "Gun control, gay marriage and abortion are conspicuously missing." Translation: Unlimited abortion, beat Bush, PC, beat Bush, beat Bush, beat Bush -- in PRIVATE. Sorry MSSSSSSSS. Pelosi, we've still got it.
Of course this will happen when you campaign on a RATHER platform.
P. S. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, didn't see this:
But some promises, such as to "guarantee a prescription drug benefit under Medicare" and to "enact middle-class tax relief," may open Democrats to charges that Republicans already have acted.
Translation: Anything you can do we can do better. Further translation: Ka-CHINNNNNNNNNG!!!!!
Posted
6:27 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:21 AM
by Gene
He SAYS he condemned 9/11 and the Beslan massacre. We'll take you at your word, FORMER CAT, but we wonder how far it goes.
Posted
5:19 PM
by Gene
The media played up Richard Lugar's recent remarks about President Bush; will they do the same with his assessment of Senator Kerry?
Posted
5:13 PM
by Gene
Given the vast expanses of junk TV and third-rate papers we finance that is an incredible UNDERSTATEMENT.
Posted
4:57 PM
by Gene
If on the other hand you're all hitting me up because of my brilliant wisdom (pffh-hh-hh), more power to you!
P. S. One thing I'm proud of is that 80 percent of my hits come from people with XP and 2000, so I must have a technologically savvy crowd. (Or maybe Bill sold them a lot of computers.) But how to explain why a fifth of them come from Netscape browsers? Go figure.
Posted
1:18 PM
by Gene
Righties will use Rather flap as excuse to boycott big media
So THAT'S the new spin, ROMY -- this is all about THE RIGHTIES!!!!!
Not about bigmedia telling a fib.
Posted
11:14 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:58 AM
by Gene
He's been debating himself for MONTHS. All that Senate expe -- all that EXPERIENCE.
Posted
6:53 AM
by Gene
Thirty years after Watergate and Tricky Dick's resignation, liberals stand ready to CONDONE CORRUPTION.
Posted
6:49 AM
by Gene
This industry will not learn from experience, and it is willing to put thousands of innocent employees out of work so it can do WHAT IT WANTS TO DO.
Posted
6:20 AM
by Gene
Posted
5:41 PM
by Gene
Yessiree we're living in a PLATINUM AGE OF ENTERTAINMENT!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
5:04 PM
by Gene
That has to be THE WHOLE PARTY.
Better ink him in as I-RI. As in IMBECILE.
Posted
1:31 PM
by Gene
Rather this weekend interviewed Bill Burkett, a retired Texas National Guard officials....
Yeah. Him and Jerry Killian.
Posted
1:14 PM
by Gene
SUMNER! I've got a GREAT slogan for you: "You're last to know with CBS NEWS!"
Posted
12:17 PM
by Gene
And WHY IS IT THE HIGHER G000,000,000,000,000GLE'S SHARES GO THE SLOWER G000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER GETS?!?!?
Posted
12:07 PM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: Sorry. Now back to the news.
Posted
12:01 PM
by Gene
We can imagine.
Posted
11:07 AM
by Gene
Sorry for the NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
10:31 AM
by Gene
And the Emmys didn't do that well either, meaning there are limits to THE GLIBERAL's cheering section.
Posted
10:22 AM
by Gene
True or false: Blogs always tell it straight
Sites reflect beliefs and biases of authors
And of course NEWS HACKS are NEVER EVER EVER EVER BIASED -- and THEY ALWAYS TELL IT STRAIGHT.
IDIOTS!!!!!
Posted
8:22 AM
by Gene
You can go back to sleep now.
Posted
6:29 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:28 AM
by Gene
Let's not hold our breaths for true confession -- especially as LENNY put this on PAGE A14.
NEWS HACKS UBER ALLES!!!!!
Posted
6:21 AM
by Gene
If the Devil summoned every last of the hacks to Hell it would not dent the biz' self-esteem. They're used to dealing with him anyway.
Posted
6:19 AM
by Gene
Kerry making scant progress in crucial states
More dirty campaigning?
Posted
7:52 PM
by Gene
[The director Charles] Stone [III], who grew up in Philadelphia and is the son of former Daily News columnist Chuck Stone....
Nah, I don't think this had ANYTHING to do with this MASTERWORK gracing the FRONT COVER. DO YOU?!?!?
Happily, the public has spoken with a long, loud --
STEEEEEEEEEEEERIKE THREE YERRRRRRRRRRRRRR OUT!!!!!
Posted
5:21 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:02 PM
by Gene
Well, HOWELL may be gone, but he's still dancin' at THE PAPER OF RECORD.
Posted
4:02 PM
by Gene
P. S. Speaking of shares, that the Freepers were gloating over THE GOD selling approximately .17 percent of His VIACON stock (and ZERO of His voting rights) shows they have an occasional tendency to self-delusion.
Posted
1:50 PM
by Gene
How fitting: a chicken company sponsoring chickens.
Posted
1:31 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:23 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:21 AM
by Gene
Free Republic -- aren't those words from the NATIONAL ANTHEM?
Posted
6:31 PM
by Gene
A few weeks ago, Prof Bernard Lewis, the great historian of the Muslim world, told Die Welt that "Europe will be Islamic by the end of the century". That seems demographically unavoidable.
Given that much of what we now know as the civilised world will be Muslim, it seems prudent to ensure that what is already the Muslim world is civilised. And, for those who say that Islam is incompatible with democracy, we might as well try to buck that in Iraq today than in France, Scandinavia and Britain the day after tomorrow.
Posted
3:55 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:26 PM
by Gene
...to make room for new fiction genres.
Posted
3:26 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:35 PM
by Gene
Nor am I especially sorry for a ten-billion-dollar company with a Halliburton-type name that's HQ'd in Bermuda to escape taxes and that tries to hide its brand's provenance with an ugly Web site.
Posted
9:00 AM
by Gene
This is a disgrace. Don't people realize CAPITAL has RIGHTS?
Should have thought about this when you folks hired DAN BLATHER.
Posted
8:38 AM
by Gene
As DAN BLATHER's arch-nemesis GEORGE I would say, we're in deep doo-doo.
Posted
7:30 PM
by Gene
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
Posted
5:46 PM
by Gene
WE'RE GONNA SEND THIS @#$%&* INTO INTERNAL EXILE IF IT'S THE LAST @#$%&* THING WE DO!!!!!!!!!!
Alas, Mr. Code, it's getting tougher to believe your non-partisan gag. YOUR FRIENDS AT THE TRIB SAID IT.
Posted
5:41 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:27 AM
by Gene
Shucks, the GENIUS'S masterwork, the GREATEST ARCHITECTURAL ACHIEVEMENT SINCE THE PYRAMIDS, is DEAD.
THE SHARD IS NEXT!
Posted
9:16 AM
by Gene
This is the CBS Evening News -- with JON FRIEDMAN!!!!!
Posted
8:30 AM
by Gene
I'd mimic Andy but it's too early in the morning. (I'd say the same thing in the afternoon or evening.)
Posted
6:40 AM
by Gene
Don't you just LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUVE public-opinion polls?
Posted
5:23 PM
by Gene
TV critic [Bill] Goodykoontz is not a fan of the retooling, saying that tweaks this year in particular smack of desperation. The pageant has an old-timey, variety-show feel to it, he argues, and it should just be allowed to be what it is.
"It's hard to make the claim for its relevance, but I don't think that means it doesn't belong on TV," he says. "If there's room for 'Fear Factor' and 27 variations of 'The Bachelor,' and 'American Idol' ... it seems to me that once a year there is room for this."
But then THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS couldn't use words like "HIP" and "DEMOGRAPHIC."
P. S. More excellence in hackery -- practically every news organization is using heds that make it sound as if the Pageant is fifty years old. And they wonder why they face BLATHERGATES?
And speaking of heds, here's an actual one from a political par -- news organization that did almost as much to promote BLATHERGATE as DAN BLATHER:
Miss USA celebrates 50 years on TV
Posted
5:15 PM
by Gene
Don't CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES get FIRED for typing things like that?
Posted
5:07 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:57 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:58 PM
by Gene
That's RICH!!!!!
Posted
1:46 PM
by Gene
HE READ YOUR DAMNED BOOK, PETER BISKIND!!!!!
Posted
1:35 PM
by Gene
Our government is intent on uglifying every last bit of our currency, as if it doesn't look fake enough already.
Oh well, I do most of my shopping with credit cards, and the nickel is following the penny down the road to uselessness.
Posted
8:50 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:45 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:22 AM
by Gene
It might have helped, folks, if your "LEGENDARY" studio really WERE MGM -- and if it had not made such enduring works of art as DE-LOVELY.
Posted
6:20 AM
by Gene
We're in trouuuuuuuu-BLE!
Posted
6:58 PM
by Gene
Just announced on the Chris Baker talk show:
Ken Charles, the Station Manager for 950KPRC in Houston (the largest talk station in Houston) just sent the CBS News VP all his nasty e-mails and told them that CBS will either fire Dan Rather by Monday and come completely clean on the matter or he will take CBS News off the air of his radio stations (he manages two of the largest in Houston).
He took Dan Rather's 4pm top of the hour brodcast off effective immediately and replaced it with Fox news.
He said he will find a way to cancel the CBS contract if they do not resolve this in a manner that retains their credibility as a news source.
Just one big problem: KPRC is a CHEAP CHANNEL, and this IS Texas (and SR.'s hometown), and we all know what the NEWS HACKS did about SINCLAIR when it took LORD KOPPEL OF ESPNDOM off its stations one night. Expect HEAVY POLITICKING from our FIRST AMENDMENT DEFENDERS.
Posted
6:58 PM
by Gene
I think the ZONNNNNNNNNNNNN, YAHWEH and O&A are in on this; it has their grimy fingerprints. AND SUMNER OKAYED THE STATEMENT.
Posted
6:01 PM
by Gene
On Tuesday night the film was sold out and the theatre packed with close to 380 people, most of them young. Many admitted they were just out to watch an American film, and not that one in particular.
"I love to see foreign films on the big screen, and I never miss Farhang cinema shows no matter what is on," said Sima Gharavi, a 24-year-old dressed in a short bright blue coat rather than the more conservative all-black attire.
But she hastened to complain that "out of all the films people would love to see, the authorities had to go for this one -- just because this film is in line with the view of the Islamic regime."
And despite sporadic laughs here and there, most of Moore's sardonic humour appeared to fall flat. The end of the film was also greeted with some half-hearted clapping.
"The problem is the subtitles," said Sogol Zand, an English teacher. "The jokes are not as funny."
Others, obviously out for a rare taste of Hollywood entertainment, disagreed.
"It was just too political. I was bored from the middle, and I wished we had gone to see "Kill Bill" instead," said one young man, referring to the trendy Quentin Tarantino flick also being shown.
But those of the older generation appeared to relate well to the film, which succeeded in sparking some vigorous after-show chatter.
"I saw it as an Iranian who has also lived in America," said Kourosh Amini, a man in his 50s.
"It perfectly depicted the realities of American life, and they have to learn what war really looks like."
And even though his twenty-something son quipped in to say he was "disappointed" by the film and asserted "politics is not as important" for Iran's younger generation, he did envy Moore's position.
"It sure is a great country, where someone like Moore trashes the president and gets away with it -- and makes so much money!" he laughed.
And someday your country will be great again -- WITHOUT AYATOLLAHS.
Posted
5:15 PM
by Gene
Well, not that smart, anyway.
I think I can see why STERNO's mad. But he ditched his boat when he pledged his allegiance to YAHWEH -- the man who created SIXTY MINUTES THE SECOND.
Posted
5:05 PM
by Gene
Israel Kills 10 People, Says Not Following Roadmap
Posted
3:16 PM
by Gene
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Posted
2:47 PM
by Gene
Then again, it might just issue "a statement."
Posted
1:46 PM
by Gene
Humorous though this is, I must repeat, in a different way: Comic book movies and Dan Blather's lies come from THE SAME FOUL MEDIA WELL.
And a big fat demerit to whatever this site is for inflicting THREE POP-UPS on me.
Posted
11:11 AM
by Gene
Hhmph. RIFF-RAFF!
Posted
10:03 AM
by Gene
Can you imagine the screaming and wailing from NEWSHACKDOM when the BARD GOES?
Almost as loud as the teeth gnashing over DAN BLATHER.
Posted
10:00 AM
by Gene
I am not surprised Tom Shallows, er, SHALES raved this.
Posted
8:41 AM
by Gene
Tribune Warns 3Q Income Will Fall Short
Posted
6:44 AM
by Gene
Sorry, an animated "GRAPHICAL NOVEL" sounds like a gimmick to me.
Posted
6:41 AM
by Gene
I wonder when we'll find out you folks have cooked your circulation, MERT?
Posted
5:36 PM
by Gene
Though not necessarily its INVESTORS.
Posted
5:25 PM
by Gene
I've a hunch DIPPITY-DO!!!!! is pretty WRONG himself -- especially for one who once believed the war was RIGHT.
Posted
5:15 PM
by Gene
WASHINGTON--NBC’s Tom Brokaw will deliver the keynote address at the Radio-Television News Directors Association’s Awards Dinner next month in New York. RTNDA will honor winners of the Edward R. Murrow Awards and the RTNDA/UNITY Awards on October 4 at the Grand Hyatt New York.
Brokaw, who is stepping down later this year from his post on the NBC Nightly News, has had a distinguished 38-year career at NBC, including more than 20 years as the anchor and managing editor of the evening newscast.
NBC will pick up three awards at the dinner, including one for David Bloom’s coverage of the war in Iraq. Melanie Bloom will accept the award for her late husband.
Also making remarks at the dinner are these award recipients:
- Peter Jennings, anchor and senior editor, ABC World News Tonight, who won two awards, one for Newscast and one for News Documentary for The Kennedy Assassination: Beyond Conspiracy.
- Dan Rather, anchor and managing editor, CBS Evening News, whose network won the award for Overall Excellence.
RTNDA’s Edward R. Murrow Awards, now in their 34th year, honor excellence in electronic journalism. This year, 53 news organizations won 74 awards out of an initial pool of 3,182 entries from 552 news organizations. Visit www.rtnda.org/asfi/awards/murrowshow2004.asp for winners.
The RTNDA/UNITY Awards honor news organizations for their commitment to covering diversity. Visit www.rtnda.org/news/2004/070804.shtml for the five winners. For more information on the RTNDA Awards Dinner, visit www.rtnda.org/asfi/awards/dinner.shtml.
RTNDA is the world’s largest professional organization devoted exclusively to electronic journalism. RTNDA represents local and network news executives in broadcasting, cable and other electronic media in more than 30 countries.
WHAT? WE WORRY?
Posted
4:57 PM
by Gene
FURTHER TRANSLATION: If the Swifties did it there wouldn't be an INQUIRING HACK nor a CAMERA or MICROPHONE in the ROOM. This is why DANNO was in trouble as much as MS WORD.
Posted
1:25 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:20 PM
by Gene
FREE ENTERPRISE AT WORK!
Posted
1:18 PM
by Gene
Romy falls back into his deep, deep, DEEP SLEEP.
Posted
11:10 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:27 AM
by Gene
Florida neurologist Marc Swerdloff was taken aback when one of his patients with advanced dementia voted in the 2000 presidential election. The man thought it was 1942 and Franklin D. Roosevelt was president. The patient's wife revealed that she had escorted her husband into the booth.
"I said 'Did he pick?' and she said 'No, I picked for him,' " Swerdloff said. "I felt bad. She essentially voted twice" in the Florida election, which gave George W. Bush a 537-vote victory and the White House. [Optional sound effect here: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!]
SO THAT'S IT! DEMENTED GEEZERS VOTED FRANKLIN W. BUSH INTO THE WHITE HOUSE!!!!!
(Oh well, the unbiased source did admit Danno was caught with faked memos, so we'll give them half a BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM!)
Posted
10:12 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:07 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:49 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:47 AM
by Gene
Study: U.S. teens have big hopes But show average skills.
Posted
6:30 AM
by Gene
Repeat: WHAT NEWS HACKS DON'T SPIN, THEY SELL.
Posted
6:25 AM
by Gene
A Discussion on the Election
Gail Collins, editorial page editor, and Maureen Dowd, Op-Ed columnist, take readers' questions about women and the election from Tuesday to Thursday.
• Submit a Question
Posted
6:20 AM
by Gene
When President Bush arrives in Las Vegas today to address a convention of National Guardsmen, a group of families will be there as well, intent on protesting the Iraq war and a president who they say used his Guard service to avoid combat....
The demonstrators said they were not supporters of Sen. John F. Kerry....
Oh I'm absolutely SURE they aren't. Right DIP? Right DANNO? RIGHT, OMERTA?
Wanna bet this is the LEAD on the VIACON NETWORK EVENING FIBS?
Posted
6:57 PM
by Gene
I must confess of all the oddball phenomena to come out of Japan I find Hello Kitty quite endearing. We may call this the Beanie Baby craze of the east, but unlike the shapeless, formless, charmless Babies the Kitty is, shall I say, awwww-inspiring (although some may call it a feline smiley face without the smile -- true enough, but somehow it's still cute), and if it is the thing of little girls (and big girls who must act little, like BRITNEY), it is playful and affectionate, the stuff that (until recently) distinguished them from dirty little boys.
Posted
6:45 PM
by Gene
Then again, MAYBE NOT.
Posted
5:37 PM
by Gene
Pages to THE PAPER OF RECORD's Code of Ethics: 57.
Meaningless codes produce partisan news.
Posted
1:03 PM
by Gene
GET 'EM DIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Sorry for the NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Posted
9:58 AM
by Gene
Evidently they're NOT buying that BUNCOMBE in the OFFICE.
P. S. How many of the LUXURY NEWS SUITES have DRESS CODES?
Posted
8:30 AM
by Gene
CBS still insists Bush military record memos are authentic
See? Ol' Rip Romenesko REMEMBERS! He he he!
Posted
6:40 AM
by Gene
No matter how it turns out, for now the controversy over the documents has blunted criticism of Bush's Guard record, which has been a persistent irritant for Bush since he first campaigned for the White House. It has sapped the power from an issue that had appeared to be a weapon for the Democrats against Bush.
Esepcially since we hacks did everything in our power to ignore the SWIFT BOATERS.
Posted
6:34 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:26 AM
by Gene
From one set of comedians to another.
Posted
4:44 PM
by Gene
(VIACON, please note, has since spun off Blockbuster and changed TNN to Spike TV.)
When the LORD GOD SUMNERS tried to sell the world on SYNERGY one of the tricks they had was to convince easily gullible news hacks and their separated-at-birth twins the sales -- ANALYSTS that the idea of one big company owning so many media outlets was a kind of in-joke; you know who owns what, and we know who owns what, but by obscuring the corporate identity of all our outlets THE PUBLIC wouldn't know -- all the better to play a great big PRACTICAL JOKE on them.
That won't work any more. When one media outlet in a SUPERTOWER OF BABBLE does wrong, the whole company is besmirched, as it should be. Thus when a VIACON stages sex in a Catholic church, or exposes Ms. Boob, or tells lies to elect DIPPITY-DO, every finger points straight to the top, and to the WHOLE. Corporate responsibility is nothing when no one is accountable, and part of the trick of SYNERGY was to see to precisely that. (That also holds true, sorry to say FREEPERS, for RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, who owns The Weekly Standard and FX. He's played tricks even longer than the LORD GOD SUMNER, and he's not as old.) Unfortunately, GOD, thanks to your never-ending ANTICS we ceased being that gullible a long time ago.
P. S. I got this version of VIACON'S boast off an Indymedia affiliate -- from a screed demanding a boycott of the company for CENSORING THE REAGANS. And as Internet denizens know too well, six of one is not half a dozen of the other when your enemy does it.
Posted
4:35 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:54 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:52 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:47 AM
by Gene
In your face: Fueled by shadowy cash, the attacks get uglier and uglier.
Wait a second -- didn't ST. WARREN anoint CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM a HOLY PANACEA?
Posted
8:41 AM
by Gene
What would YOU do about it, RICHIE RICH?!?!?
Posted
8:39 AM
by Gene
I guess Free Republic doesn't need a CAVEAT anymore.
